September 5, 2023 • 53 mins
Body count, bisexuality, and bangin! Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast is taking on hot topics during Bi Visibility Month as I sit down with returning guest and close friend Liberty Shea Callahan. We sit down with a cocktail we call the Dirty Threesome and share our personal stories about our journey as bisexual women. We also take a stab at the age-old question - does body count really matter? Get ready to talk toxic masculinity within the queer femme community, dick shaming, and how the body count issue is alive and well in both the heterosexual. and queer community. How it shows up might just surprise you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Annette Benedetti (00:03):
Hi, this is Annette Benedetti, your hostess
for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to
think of itself as the queer NPRof raunchy women's sex talk.
You are about to sit in on thekind of conversations women have
on their girls' nights out orbehind closed doors, while
enjoying delicious drinks anddishing about sex, think, fun,
(00:26):
honest and feminist as fuck, andalways with a goal of fighting
the patriarchy, one orgasm at atime.
Welcome to the locker room.
Today's locker room talk andshots topic is bisexual
(00:47):
revelations and does body countmatter?
September is bisexual awarenessmonth and there's a bisexual
awareness week.
There's a bisexual awarenessday, but you know, because I'm
bisexual and I've got a lot ofbi-babe friends, like my guest
(01:07):
today who's with me, I'm gonnacelebrate it all month long and
I'm gonna be visible as fuck,and my guest today is a
returning guest.
Liberty Shea Callahan (01:19):
Hello.
Annette Benedetti (01:20):
Liberty.
Hi Liberty, can you remindlisteners what the episodes that
you have been on in the pastare?
Liberty Shea Callahan (01:29):
Yes, I was on one called Unicorns
three's, not a crowd.
Annette Benedetti (01:36):
No, it's not a crowd.
Oh, it's not a crowd no, thatis the name.
Liberty Shea Callahan (01:40):
I was on one about Hump Festival Review
and I was on one called FromHousewife to Ho, which is a very
popular podcast hit because wewere both housewives and now
we're both hoes.
Yeah that's right.
I just re-listened to that one.
(02:01):
I would like to go back andmaybe do a second session of
that one.
Annette Benedetti (02:05):
I think that we could.
I mean, I can talk about myjourney from housewife to ho
again.
Liberty Shea Callahan (02:11):
There's some questions I never quite
answered in that podcast that weshould talk about.
Annette Benedetti (02:16):
But that's not what we're talking about
today, and we're having realdrinks.
Liberty Shea Callahan (02:21):
Yeah, cheers, it's been a while.
Annette Benedetti (02:22):
We can't cheers yet.
You've got to tell them whatwe're drinking.
Liberty Shea Callahan (02:24):
I will Okay, we are drinking Prosecco.
Ménage Tois Perfect for thispodcast, of course.
With a nice green sticker frommy corner store, ménage Tois
Prosecco, with a lovely productI'm going to plug Girl Meets
(02:44):
Dirt.
It's a shrub from the San JuanIslands.
It's a woman-owned,female-owned business.
I stopped in there when I wason Orcus Island and did a
tasting and it's just awesome.
It's a peach shrub, so a shrubis kind of like a drinking
vinegar and you can mix it withsparkling water, or you can mix
(03:06):
it with just tap water, orProsecco, in this case, or
champagne.
Annette Benedetti (03:11):
So basically it's Dirty Girls Meets Threesome
.
Liberty Shea Callahan (03:14):
Yeah, and you know, wait, I do love
the story of Girl Meets Dirt.
How this business came about isOrcus Island used to be the
largest producer of fruit likeexported to Washington state.
And there's all these fallowfruit trees all over the island,
like thousands of trees that noone is gathering their fruit.
(03:38):
And she started gathering thefruit and making jam and then
making shrub from them Awesome.
Annette Benedetti (03:44):
Yeah, and I will drop the link to Girl.
Liberty Shea Callahan (03:49):
Meets.
Annette Benedetti (03:49):
Dirt Meets Dirt, so you can do your own
version of the Dirty Minajatois,which is what we're going to
call it.
Liberty Shea Callahan (03:57):
Yeah, it's yummy, dirty Minajatois
it's really good.
Annette Benedetti (04:01):
It's really good.
Liberty Shea Callahan (04:04):
This is a great one to have with
Thanksgiving dinner, actually asa pre-dinner cocktail.
Annette Benedetti (04:09):
It's autumn right now, hey guys speaking of
Autumn, yet Shh Big news I amnow taking your questions via
voicemail.
If you scroll down to thedescription of this podcast,
you're going to find a linkwhere you guys can leave me a
voicemail with your questions,thoughts, advice that you want.
(04:33):
I will base a podcast on it.
Or I'll just answer, or I willrecruit a professional to
interview to answer yourquestions and all you have to do
is click on that link, leaveyour little voicemail, yay, and
I guess they could ask questionsme questions too.
Liberty Shea Callahan (04:49):
You can come back.
Annette Benedetti (04:50):
Yes, ask us, because we're going to talk
about a lot of shit today andwe're going to let's dive in
because I know you all know,liberty and I are friends.
We met on a date because wewent on a date together.
Liberty and I have not had sex,just like you guys know, but we
have had sex with the samecouples.
(05:10):
Yes, we have kissed.
Liberty Shea Callahan (05:14):
Is that okay to say?
Annette Benedetti (05:17):
We have kissed Liberty and I have kissed
she's a good kisser and webanged the same couple.
Just go listen to that unicornepisode.
It's pretty amazing.
Liberty Shea Callahan (05:29):
Is that the only person, people we have
in common?
I don't think so.
Probably not.
I don't think so.
Annette Benedetti (05:35):
Okay, nope, another episode, another episode
.
Maybe we'll figure it out, butwe're both bisexual, obviously,
and we have had quite the yearof experiences.
And because it's by VisibilityMonth, I think we want to review
and reveal the things thatwe've learned being by, being by
(05:58):
and on our journey.
Both of us have partners whoare men.
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:07):
And we love those partners very much.
We love the cocks.
Annette Benedetti (06:12):
We love all of them.
I like to say the cock, butit's because I really, yeah, I
like the male energy.
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:18):
I like, I do like it.
Annette Benedetti (06:20):
I also like the cock.
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:22):
I'm not gonna lie.
Annette Benedetti (06:24):
It's a good part of the deal, but we also
we're bisexual, so I want togive you a chance to launch into
what is this year so far.
If you've had a revelationabout being bisexual and on your
journey, what would you sayit's been?
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:46):
Oh my gosh, it's been a.
I think it's been mostlyaccepting myself, accepting
myself as bi.
I'm not.
I'm still a little closetedbeing bi.
I'm not super out there.
You won't really find lots ofyou know in my social media
posts about being bi.
(07:06):
I'm still a little shy about itand so I think it is that I'm
slowly opening up, about talkingabout it, slowly accepting that
it's a spectrum and I fall on apart of the spectrum and it
really doesn't matter where youfall.
That's just who you are.
(07:27):
We're just people.
We have feelings and it's okayfor those feelings to change and
those interests to change.
It's okay to have newexperiences and I think I've
really also come to love theidea of being pansexual.
You love who you love and youlike who you like, Even though
(07:52):
with all of that, I stillstruggle a little bit with being
bi.
Annette Benedetti (07:57):
Can you talk about, because I think this is
very common.
What is it that makes youstruggle with it?
Liberty Shea Callahan (08:05):
I think it's that I have not been able
to find, have maintain aromantic relationship with a
woman.
That is where I feel like Ifall short on the bi spectrum
the bi being bi which I don'tthink I'm alone there.
I'm sure there's many, manyother women who have the same
(08:29):
experience and many men,probably by men, who have the
same experience.
I think I am mostly sexuallyattracted to women and men and I
am romantically attracted tomen.
I think that is common.
But within the bi community andthe queer community there is a
(08:50):
little bit of stigmatism withbeing a sexual object for people
like me.
I struggle with that.
I really do, because I don'twant to objectify anyone.
I also just haven't had thechance or opportunity yet to.
It just hasn't happened yet.
(09:12):
I've gone on some dates.
I've met some people.
I've disappointed a few people.
Someone who didn't realize Iwent on a date and she didn't
realize that I was in a polyrelationship with a man.
I could just see immediatelyshe was deflated.
Annette Benedetti (09:31):
Was she deflated because you were poly,
or because you were poly and youhad a male partner?
Liberty Shea Callahan (09:36):
I think both, I think both of those
things she didn't know you werepoly.
No, I didn't hide it, it hadn'teven come up yet.
I met her in real life, realtime, not on an app where you
you met her with me.
I did.
I met her with you at a queerevent and it was amazing.
I loved that night.
That was so much fun.
(09:56):
I drew on your butt that night.
First you drew on it for a longtime and we were like what's
wrong with this marker.
Then we realized the cap was on.
Annette Benedetti (10:09):
Oh my.
Liberty Shea Callahan (10:09):
God, my butt was just hanging out for
everybody to see, althoughluckily nobody was watching,
because everyone was dancing andhaving fun.
That's true.
Annette Benedetti (10:18):
We may have had a drink.
I drew on her butt and I wasn'tseeing anything.
Maybe it's like invisible glowink and then realized that oh my
God, that's hilarious.
Yes.
Liberty Shea Callahan (10:33):
That was a super fun night.
I loved watching all the babyqueers.
I felt jealous of them learningwho they are so much younger
than I was and feeling socomfortable to be out and be
open and be in this reallyamazing space with supportive
(10:57):
women.
It was awesome, it was great,it was a good night.
Annette Benedetti (11:01):
That was a good night it's super fun Until
the end.
But for me I want to kind ofrewind and touch on the idea,
and I think a lot of bisexualpansexual women who are maybe
coming to either the realizationor having their first
(11:21):
opportunity to practice beingbisexual in real life later on
in life and maybe this is truefor younger bisexual women too,
but I recognize this with olderbisexual women more who have
been maybe in heterosexualfacing relationships and then
have gotten out and then they'relike okay, now I want to try
dating women.
(11:42):
I think it's interesting to methat heterosexual people don't
question their heterosexualityprior to fucking around with
someone of the opposite sex.
It is just an assumed sexualorientation and maybe people's
argument would be that that'sthe natural sexual orientation.
(12:04):
But I actually don't believethat's true.
I'm going to tell you all likeand I'm like.
That's not the argument we'regoing to be having here.
But I have found oftentimes Ihear women saying that like,
questioning whether they're bior whether they belong in the
queer community, because theyhaven't.
Yet you know, oh, I've kissedsome girls, or maybe in college
(12:27):
I drunkenly had sex with onewoman and I know I'm.
I find women attractive, but Ihaven't like and it's like.
Is there a number of women youfeel you have to bang, to like
to be granted the?
You are queer.
Liberty Shea Callahan (12:42):
Right.
Annette Benedetti (12:43):
You know it's kind of crazy to me.
It is Because if you thinkabout the opposite in the in the
heterosexual world and this isgoing to this is a great place
to like tie in the whole bodycount conversation that's going
on Think about the opposite inthe heterosexual world.
Right, like, the more men awoman bangs, the more everyone's
(13:06):
like her body count is too high.
It's not like oh, she's a banebang like 50 dudes.
She is super heterosexual andshe gets the like fucking gold
medal of heterosexuality becauseshe just banged 50 dudes.
It's like.
It's like.
It's like the more men you bangas a heterosexual woman, the
(13:27):
less value there is to you as aheterosexual woman.
Yet, in our case, as a bisexualwoman, if you haven't had more
women, then you are more likely,your identity is more likely to
be questioned by the queer andspecifically lesbian community.
Liberty Shea Callahan (13:46):
Yeah, this is true, and I mean, how
fucked up is that?
It's pretty fucked up, and so Ithink, so you kind of are
validating some of my feelingsby saying, okay, there are some
people who would question on the, from the lesbian community,
who might question well, how gayare you?
You know, like, are you gayenough, or I don't know what is
(14:08):
gay enough?
I know, I know what is gayenough, don't know, don't know,
I don't know, I just know.
I haven't yet had theexperience, but when I was in I
got to have a and that was there.
I got to have a lot of fun in aspace in the spring where I did
(14:32):
feel completely comfortablejust being who I am, and part of
that was being bisexual andpart of that was, you know,
hooking up with some women andit felt great.
And it was great because therewere no questions, there was no
worry about like we just we were, just who we are, and it was so
(14:53):
much fun.
Annette Benedetti (14:54):
I mean, let's be clear, I was there, but I
wasn't there yes.
I was in the house, but Iwasn't in the room.
Liberty Shea Callahan (15:05):
And it was super fun and it was, you
know, a kind of a surprise.
I mean, one of them was someoneyou guys heard me talk about on
the threesome podcast.
Annette Benedetti (15:17):
Go back and listen, go back and listen.
Liberty Shea Callahan (15:19):
Yeah, so one of the women who was from
the second couple I talked abouton that podcast came to this
retreat that Annette and I werepart of and I hadn't seen her in
a year and a half because I hadkind of cut it off because of
her boyfriend who was jealous.
But she came by herself and itwas just like it was when we
(15:42):
first met.
I mean, we're just very, we'revery affectionate and she makes
me feel good and I make her feelgood and it was fun for the
most part.
But you had a threesome.
Oh, oh, yeah, that too.
Yeah, we had a threesome withanother woman.
Annette Benedetti (15:58):
So, folks, you know how many women does she
have to bang?
Liberty Shea Callahan (16:02):
to be pretty.
I know, I know, and that wastotally led by.
I'll call her Salem becausethat's where she's from.
It was led by Salem.
Salem led the threesome withBeaverton.
Annette Benedetti (16:17):
Oh my God, you had a threesome with
Beaverton and Salem and asPortland, I feel like a failure.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don'tknow yeah that's Portland, salem
and Beaverton had a threesomeRight and that's weird.
Keep Portland weird.
(16:38):
Cheers to that, all right.
Liberty Shea Callahan (16:41):
So it was.
It was great, it was super funand I really like let go of all
my inhibitions and just did it.
And it was totally.
I'm blaming Salem, it wastotally her doing that threesome
would not have happened withouther.
She led a lot of this actualenergy over the weekend.
(17:02):
I mean there was just she waslike oozing it.
Annette Benedetti (17:06):
So yes, she was yeah, so I want to bring
this around.
Liberty is definitely queer.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Liberty Shea Callahan (17:20):
We established that at our closing
circle of the bisexual women'sretreat weekend Right, which we
will be having another one soon.
But I haven't had anythingsince then.
Annette Benedetti (17:32):
Oh, I mean, I had that date, but that didn't
go so well, but you haven't hadanything since then, except for
the date that didn't go well.
She was very into you and ifyou hadn't been poly, and if you
hadn't had a dick in your life,then you definitely would
probably be dating her right now.
Probably yeah, Probably wouldhave had sex with her?
Liberty Shea Callahan (17:50):
Yes, probably Right.
Yeah, but no, I was.
I've never had that experiencewhere you see someone deflate in
front of your eyes.
It's not a good feeling.
I mean, I'm not saying she waslike brokenhearted, but just
like, well now what.
She drove a long way to see methat day.
Annette Benedetti (18:13):
I mean, if I had been her I would have been
like maybe I don't want to dateyou, but let's have sex.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:16):
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti (18:19):
I mean like, get something out of your gas
money, right, get something outof not to be shallow, but why
miss out on a good deal?
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:28):
I know.
Annette Benedetti (18:28):
I know, and so that brings me to my
revelation.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:34):
Yeah, tell me, tell us about yours.
Yeah, top, top me off, top youoff.
Annette Benedetti (18:38):
I have a birthday party to go to.
This is off topic, but you allknow Deanna aka Ruby, a silver
medalist and Olympian in thesquirting sex Olympics.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:50):
I did not know that what I need to
listen to that episode.
Yeah, you got to listen to thatepisode.
Annette Benedetti (18:55):
Also expert at Titty's sex.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:59):
Well, that doesn't surprise me.
Annette Benedetti (19:01):
No, no, it's her birthday Well tomorrow, but
tonight we are celebrating itand we're going out dancing.
I would like to challenge her.
Oh, a squirting, All right guys.
Liberty Shea Callahan (19:10):
So if that happens, we can't show it
on YouTube.
Annette Benedetti (19:16):
Maybe we'll start up an only fans account.
Oh, how are you talking?
And I'm going to use my friendsfor that, but anyways, because
we know how you feel aboutsquirting.
Okay, yeah, I'm not good at it,I would never win that contest
and I'm not even willing to tryit, but anyways, I want to bring
this around to like myrevelation this year, which has
(19:39):
I guess it's not a revelation,but it's a solidification of
something that I thought and Ihave experienced, maybe to the
max this year is and lesbians,queer fans who really decide
more to the lesbian spectrum.
I love you, but we got to havea fucking talk, okay.
(20:04):
As a bisexual woman, I have hadmoments where, when it comes to
the attraction and datingspectrum, I've been like maybe
it's better for me just to dealwith the devil, I know, than the
devil I don't meaning menversus women.
Again, that's very gendered.
I have been shocked at how muchtoxic masculinity is embedded
(20:31):
in the lesbian, specifically,and queer film community and I'm
going to give examples of itinstead of just throwing this
out.
And I think it's superimportant that we talk about it
and I think that the victims ofit well, they're all queer films
, but I think specificallybisexual women are in a position
where we really maybe see itmore clearly and I'm going to
(20:57):
explain sort of why.
One example of it that I've runinto a lot as a bisexual woman
when I'm talking to lesbiansabout how do you feel about
bisexual women, what are some ofthe things that come up that
bother you, because it's veryclear that some lesbians just
won't date us at all.
(21:18):
They're like if you've had acock in you, no, I'm not
interested.
And I kind of want to get tothe root of that right and some
of the things y'all say.
Like a good example, I wastalking to a lesbian a while
back and one of the things shethought was fun to say was like
well, my cock can be any sizeand it never goes limp.
(21:43):
I've got that on men and I wantto talk to you about why that
and it really gave me the ick.
It really gave me the ickbecause if there is one thing
we've worked on in this show isto talk about how sex is not
cock-centric.
Right, like you just made, sexcock-centric.
(22:04):
Whether it's a real or a fakecock, it's about the cock and I
think that's rooted in toxicmasculinity and the patriarchy
and the idea that arousal andsexual satisfaction comes from
the cock.
Liberty Shea Callahan (22:21):
Yeah, right, and doesn't at all.
Annette Benedetti (22:24):
I mean, that's exactly what it is.
And not only that.
You're like competing now withmen Like I've got a bigger cock
than you, Mine will stick.
Liberty Shea Callahan (22:33):
You don't have to right.
That's the point here.
Right it is, and I think that'sjust us.
Annette Benedetti (22:39):
We're just like.
I'm not with you for a cock.
I'm with you because I'mattracted to you and because I
know we can have sex that'sfulfilling, regardless of
whether you strap it on or youuse your fingers or mouth or
toys or whatever.
So that's just one example ofit.
Another example, especially, Ithink, in the poly community, is
(23:00):
I was talking to anotherlesbian and I was asking her.
She was poly and she made acomment about a woman she was
attracted to.
But she said well, she isalready seeing multiple people
and I know that she's seeingmore than one guy and I don't
(23:21):
want to see a woman who's seeingmore than one man.
And I said, well, if she wasseeing two other women, would
you care?
And she said no, now thatwouldn't bother me, but if she's
like yeah, if she's with liketwo guys, that's disgusting.
And this comes back to the bodycount shit and like, generally
speaking, when I think about thetopic and look, if you aren't
(23:41):
on TikTok, maybe you're missingout on this, but probably not.
Liberty Shea Callahan (23:45):
Yeah, we need to clarify what that means
.
Annette Benedetti (23:47):
Body count is this big issue that has come,
and it's not just on TikTok.
I think that we just haven'tcalled that in the rest, in our
other life, outside of socialmedia, men who think that women
who have been with more than Idon't even know what their OK
number is Maybe it's five morethan just a couple men.
(24:10):
The higher their body count is,the less their worth is.
You don't want to be with awoman who has a high body count.
Liberty Shea Callahan (24:19):
That's what some of the TikToks are
about.
Annette Benedetti (24:22):
All the men who are on the train, but it's
not just the men.
Here's what I'm telling you.
The body count issue isn't justa dude thing.
We're fem women.
Lesbians also feel that a woman, a bisexual woman, who has been
(24:44):
with too many or has too manymen in her life is problematic.
Right Like if they're poly.
They don't mind a woman havinglike many other women in her
life, but if there's more thanone cock in the picture, she's
nasty, she's bad, it's the samefucking bullshit.
Liberty Shea Callahan (25:03):
Yes, that's wrong.
Annette Benedetti (25:05):
Yeah, it's absolutely wrong.
It's another thing that I haveexperienced as a bi woman.
Sort of trying to find my wayin the queer or femme community
is just the way the ick factorthey'll get when they know I
have a male partner.
The idea that I interact with apenis and I interact with what
(25:30):
comes out of a penis.
Suddenly I'm a dirty person.
It is the exact same shit asthe body count thing coming from
toxic, dangerous beta men whothink they're alphas, yeah right
, and it's just as damaging tome as a woman.
But yet it's not held to thesame scrutiny.
(25:52):
Right, right, right, it's notheld to the same scrutiny and it
makes me feel just as fuckingbad.
Yeah, yeah, that's fucked up,and that is, I guess, has been
one of my big revelations inthis year trying to find my
places.
I think I always am and youalways are and a lot of our most
(26:13):
beloved people are in the queercommunity.
I think that bi, bisexual woman,pansexual woman, anybody who's
open to the array of genders Iam very much open to.
I think all genders are sexyand interesting and bring
something like amazing to thetable, and I think that we all
(26:37):
end up facing these kinds ofthings.
I also feel like the idea thatcocks are gross in the queer
femme community is transphobic.
Interesting yeah, Trans womenmay or may not have penises or
(26:59):
enlarged clits or lady dicks orwhatever, but it's the same deal
right, we're shaming a bodypart.
We're equating the worth of aperson to a body part.
Liberty Shea Callahan (27:10):
Right, that's yeah, and it's so.
I think it's easy to fall intolike a comedic trap like sort of
about that, but it's not funny.
I mean it's not.
It's really everybody.
Everybody has value and worthand it doesn't matter who
(27:31):
they've been with or how manytimes.
What's our message for the bibisexual women out there?
Annette Benedetti (27:37):
Like going through this you have to find
your people because it's a roughworld.
Liberty Shea Callahan (27:42):
It is a rough world.
Annette Benedetti (27:43):
I think I mean Liberty and I were sitting
and talking before we startedthis podcast and I mean one
thing that has been crucial formy mental, my mental health, my
physical health has been findinga community where I feel truly,
I can be truly myself, where Ihave secure relationships and
(28:09):
where nobody is going to shameme for the stuff I bring to the
table, yeah, and I think that'slike, ultimately, what I want in
my relationships is currentlyI'm in a poly relationship, my
partner is completely fine andopen with me being with a woman
(28:29):
or with another man, and there'sno.
Liberty Shea Callahan (28:32):
You know , as long as our relationship
remains kind and compassionateand loving and honest and all of
that, then we don't have anissue.
Sometimes I wonder if down theroad, I'm gonna decide I wanna
be in something more monogamous,but I'm always gonna be
bisexual and I know you havefaced this a lot in the last
(28:57):
couple of years Like I'm alwaysgonna be bisexual.
So there's always gonna be, andthat's where I do just sort of
look at, you know, if I were tobe in the monogamous
relationship with a man or witha woman.
But I still have that littleitch sometimes.
It's like I want that to beable to be something we can be
(29:20):
open about and talk about asneeded basis.
Annette Benedetti (29:25):
I think there's something about.
I think the struggle for me iswhen I'm out as a bisexual woman
, when I'm in my community, andI have learned also that my
community, that I fit intosomething I'm really settling
into is a community of bisexualwomen, like really made up of
(29:47):
bisexual women that can I canturn to you, that can under I
mean regardless of who I'm inrelationship with.
When I say community, it doesnot this does not exclude my
partner as a man, or if I wereto be with a woman who was a
lesbian, exclude that partner.
But when I say my community, Imean the people I turn to who
(30:11):
really can understand myexperience, like it's strongly
seated in bisexual womanidentifying people.
Yes, yeah, and it is crucial tome so that whether I am
monogamous or poly and over thecourse of my life I've kind of
(30:32):
shipped it in and out of thoserelationship styles I have
people who see me Like it's veryimportant to me to be seen as
bisexual and people might ask,like why do you care if people
know you're bisexual, right?
What is your answer to that?
Liberty Shea Callahan (30:50):
My answer would always be that
anytime I'm visible or just likethis being on a podcast,
storytelling is that if there'ssomeone out there struggling and
they identify with our storyand it's helped them in some way
, then that's a good thing.
So if, by announcing showing upas bisexual publicly is helpful
(31:15):
to someone else to show up asthemselves, their authentic
selves, then that is a goodthing, and that is why it is
important to show up.
Yeah, and I know we don't.
Yeah, we all know no onenecessarily needs to show up as
heterosexual.
We're here for the other people.
We're here for the people thatdon't have necessarily a
(31:38):
community or a place to turn,who aren't feeling like they fit
in, and I wish I had this.
When I was in college or highschool, I definitely did not
want anyone to know that I mightbe bisexual.
Definitely I was terrified ofit.
I had a roommate that was alittle snakey with me.
(32:01):
I mean, she was one of my bestfriends, but she liked to mess
around and but I was terrifiedthat she would turn on me and
make it be my fault.
I'm the one that's weird.
Annette Benedetti (32:17):
I'm the one that wanted it and it wasn't a
good feeling you know not at all, and I think that when you
aren't seen you can go to somereally dark places.
Liberty Shea Callahan (32:29):
Yes, that is so true.
When you feel like there's noone else.
And I think over the course ofmy journey this like sexual, you
know, learning about mysexuality, becoming more open,
about it being on your podcast,talking more openly to people I
just really have learned thatthere really is something for
(32:51):
everyone.
There's someone for everyone.
There's whatever it is that youdesire.
There's somebody else thatdesires that too, and it's just
about finding the rightcommunity or people that you can
share that with.
Yeah, but don't stop searching.
Annette Benedetti (33:13):
No, because there are people out there, but
also listen to your intuitionAbsolutely.
And I think something that biwomen do a lot is they try to
fit into queer communities thatdon't fit them.
For example, I think for me iswhen I have tried really hard to
fit into more lesbian orientedcommunities or leaning
(33:41):
communities where the idea ofsomeone being open to and
attracted to other agendas islooked down upon.
It can put me in a really badmental health space.
Yeah, not only that, I think itcan make bisexual, pansexual
women really feel like they haveto kind of lie about their
(34:04):
attraction.
One a common thing I think I'veheard and I know I used to say
I don't anymore is you hearwomen saying well, I'm with my
husband and he's different, butif he were to die or we were to
break up, I would never date aguy again.
That's like a common thing andI think that is less the truth
(34:25):
and more trying to be accepted.
Liberty Shea Callahan (34:28):
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti (34:29):
And I'm just like no.
Liberty Shea Callahan (34:30):
Yeah, no yeah.
Annette Benedetti (34:31):
I'm definitely just attracted to
people and I will see and bewith the people that treat me
well and make me feel sparklyand wonderful.
That's right.
Liberty Shea Callahan (34:43):
Cheers to that, cheers to that.
I think this is a good segue togo into body count.
Annette Benedetti (34:49):
I think it's an important conversation.
But I think it's fun to do thisconversation not just in the
context of the view that menhave on body count, oh no, but
the view that people of allsexual orientations have on a
woman's, because no one caresabout men's body count,
(35:10):
apparently, but a woman's bodycount when it comes to penises
and penis owning people, yeah, Ithink it's fascinating if you
think about it, it's like peopleare disturbed by a woman
interacting with more than onepenis.
Liberty Shea Callahan (35:28):
Yeah, what the fuck.
I mean I can't even reallyspeak to this because to me it's
not a morality thing.
It used to be.
I mentioned it on the podcastabout From House Wife to Ho.
That I did.
I wrote fun.
I just have to say I freakinghate the word body count, but
anyway I did.
In my 20s I was still dealingwith Catholic guilt and being a
(35:55):
Bornigan virgin after having sexat 15 and then deciding I was
going to wait until some I don'tknow what number, because I was
like well, I'm not waitinguntil I'm married, but I'm going
to wait until sometime when itfeels more right, I don't know.
Anyway, so I have gone throughthe morality issue, did you?
(36:20):
You went through that too.
Annette Benedetti (36:22):
I mean when I was very young but my body
can't, went up pretty fuckingfast.
Liberty Shea Callahan (36:27):
So no, mine didn't.
I was keeping the number.
I called it keeping the numberslow.
I was trying.
I used to have people like that.
Annette Benedetti (36:34):
I remember that.
I remember that.
Liberty Shea Callahan (36:36):
I used to have people trying.
I remember one of my college.
It was someone I dated in highschool, but then we were still
friends in college and we justhad this most intense physical
chemistry.
I would say we still do.
Thank God we don't have to seeeach other.
We actually made a consciousdecision to not see each other
(36:58):
after I got married because itwas too intense.
But I remember telling him noin high school and telling him
no in.
I remember laying on my bed incollege and telling him no One
night and then about probably ayear and a half later, I
(37:20):
remember calling and saying youremember how I told you that
thing.
Then I was trying to keep mynumbers low.
Like I've changed my mind.
Can we like we just need tomake this happen, like it needs
to happen, and it was amazing,it was great.
I'm like why did?
Why would?
What have I been waiting for?
I've known you since I was 17.
I'm 22 now.
Like we could have been doingthis for five years.
What are you?
Annette Benedetti (37:42):
doing so.
Let's talk about let's do thisthe pros of having a high body
count, because I think there arepros.
Liberty Shea Callahan (37:50):
Oh yeah, I have a great analogy.
Can I tell you my analogy?
I like your, yes, ok, so myanalogy is there's a difference
between going on a vacation andbeing a traveler.
A vacation is like you go to anall-inclusive resort in
whatever Baja or something inCabo, but traveling is
(38:17):
experiences.
Traveling is you're having newexperiences.
Does it mean that thoseexperiences are like a relaxing
resort where you get fed allyour meals and you have
cocktails every day?
No, it's not that.
But so my analogy is that whenyou have more experiences, it's
(38:38):
you learn more.
It travelers learn more aboutthe world than someone who goes
to an all-inclusive resort.
You're not really getting toknow the city you're in.
You're not getting to know thecountry.
When you have sex with lots ofpeople, you get to know
different things.
You get to know what somepeople find normal, that you
(39:00):
were worried about, that youthought maybe was weird, and you
find out, oh, like, 10 otherpeople have this same kink that
I do.
Annette Benedetti (39:08):
You also learn what pleases you.
How?
Liberty Shea Callahan (39:12):
to have orgasms.
Yeah, about you.
You learn by yourself.
Annette Benedetti (39:14):
Yes, yeah, I mean a higher body count.
Can you do it with one person?
Maybe, Maybe, yeah.
Liberty Shea Callahan (39:25):
I had a conversation with my housemate
before I left the house and Iwas saying when?
Yes, if you have that initialexperience and it's really
awesome, it usually gets betterover time.
Annette Benedetti (39:38):
Yeah, but you won't know if you like
threesomes.
You won't know if you like twodicks at once.
You won't know if you likethings that they aren't willing.
There's always someone, alwayshas something they're not
willing to do.
You cannot learn those things,and I mean unless.
I mean if you have a partnerthat's willing to do sexy
(39:58):
adventures with you thatincludes other people or
includes going to munches ortastings where you try other
things then yeah, I supposeRight, let's be honest, you
can't.
You don't know the differencebetween sex with a woman and a
(40:20):
man if you're only having sexwith one person.
You really don't, Although inthe context of body count, I
don't know that they includewomen.
I feel like usually it's justlike how many men have shown up.
Liberty Shea Callahan (40:31):
I think we just need to break that whole
idea down and say, listen, thisis what it is.
Body count is everybody, it'severybody.
Annette Benedetti (40:38):
Everybody.
Liberty Shea Callahan (40:39):
It's everybody that you have had
sexual relations with.
Whether or not and of course Iused to have if there was no
penis inserted in the vagina, itdidn't count Well yes it does.
God, did you have friends thatonly had anal sex, which is
insane Because they didn't wantit to count?
(41:00):
That is the most fucked upthing.
That is so fucked up.
That was long before I ever hadanal sex.
Annette Benedetti (41:06):
That is still a thing that it blows my mind,
I feel like anal sex is nextlevel like body count.
That's not.
That's like.
It's like it's like bonus roundon body count level.
Absolutely Not only did hispenis go in, you went up your
ass which takes like, like yougot a Right you got a.
Liberty Shea Callahan (41:26):
I know I mean men are you like for the
men who are talking about bodycounts.
So do you only count it if awoman sticks a dildo in your ass
Like is yeah, what's like abody count for a man.
Annette Benedetti (41:38):
How many dildos have been up your ass,
right?
I'm only good with you ifyou've had like One dildo, right
.
Liberty Shea Callahan (41:45):
Other than mine, yeah.
Annette Benedetti (41:50):
What a ridiculous, what a ridiculous
notion.
I mean, I do think, people thatare concerned with body count
here's what I'm gonna.
I am gonna venture to say, andI dare you to argue with me, I
think anyone who is, who isconcerned about a woman's body
count when it comes to malebodies, I bet you they're really
bad in bed.
Liberty Shea Callahan (42:11):
I would say they aren't gonna do what
we'll do.
That's for damn sure.
They are not, that is for sure.
I mean, that's probably the onething I've learned about being
an older you know, middle-agedwoman is we tend to blow the
minds of the younger men orthose that haven't had a lot of
(42:33):
experience and women.
And women, because we arecomfortable with ourselves.
We know what we want, we knowwhat we like, we know how to
tell you how to do it.
We're not gonna be shy about it.
Yeah, it's, there's definitelya bonus there and there's a
reason why that's a whole genreof porn, I mean.
Annette Benedetti (42:53):
Oh, you mean women at our age?
Yeah, we are not older.
Liberty Shea Callahan (42:57):
We're like perfect, but we're kind of
like milfs, milfs, yeah, prettymuch Cooters, yeah, so yeah, for
me, I think we should talkabout sexual health is the only
is one of the major concerns.
Annette Benedetti (43:11):
The only con.
Liberty Shea Callahan (43:13):
Of body count is sexual health and
definitely.
Annette Benedetti (43:18):
You can have sex with one person.
Liberty Shea Callaha (43:20):
Absolutely , you can have.
Yeah, you could have totallyand still get some weird thing.
So, making sure you get testedregularly, making sure you use
condoms if you're not in arelationship with that person.
Yeah, that is really important.
Annette Benedetti (43:35):
I think that's like the only drawback is
concern about sexual health.
Is there another?
Liberty Shea Callahan (43:41):
con I mean.
The only other con I see isthat the like kind of what I was
saying was like a one nightstand.
It may not be that great, likeit might be like meh and but you
know what, that's okay.
It doesn't mean that you haveto be sad about it or mad about
it, or it's just an experience.
Annette Benedetti (44:00):
Yeah, but you have sex with someone that
you've been with for a long time.
Sometimes you have sex whereit's meh.
Yeah, absolutely For sure.
Liberty Shea Callahan (44:09):
You know I have very few regrets in my
life as far as people I have hadsex with.
I only have two regrets.
I was about to say one of them.
I see at Picathon every yearand I always avoid eye contact.
And his wife is really hot, butI just can't make eye contact
(44:31):
with him.
I walk away, I run away.
I turn away because it was asituation where it was the worst
kiss I've ever had in my entirelife, but I was Could you?
Annette Benedetti (44:45):
hit on his wife.
Liberty Shea Callahan (44:46):
I probably could.
I've seen her on his profile,but that night I ended up just
like letting him fuck me frombehind, so I didn't have to kiss
him.
Annette Benedetti (45:01):
You.
Let him fuck you from behind toavoid kissing him.
Yeah, I did.
Liberty Shea Callahan (45:06):
I was really it was.
It was that was during myhormones phase, my WHORE and my
ONS's where I just like I wouldcry if I wasn't having sex five
nights a week.
It was desperate times,desperate times.
I was like absolutely, I hadtestosterone flowing through my
body.
Annette Benedetti (45:26):
Oh, that's awesome.
Liberty Shea Callahan (45:27):
Yeah, it was a little Looking back, I
see.
So there the body count was wayhigh and I see a little bit of
Some friends were concernedabout me.
Annette Benedetti (45:37):
All right.
So sometimes body count can bea result of hormones anything
like that.
So maybe you'll have someregrets, but I would argue that
keeping your body can't lowbecause you're worried about
what other people think youcould have regrets for the
people you didn't hit it withbecause of that.
Absolutely, regrets can happeneither way.
Liberty Shea Callahan (45:59):
Like I did with that person from high
school and college.
I'm like why did it take usfive years?
I'm dumb.
Annette Benedetti (46:05):
Look, I'm not saying be a whore.
I'm not like pushing people tobe whores.
Liberty Shea Callahan (46:10):
That is not even a word, okay.
Annette Benedetti (46:12):
I'm not in the bad sense of the word.
Liberty Shea Callahan (46:15):
Whore can be a good word, yeah, anyway
.
Yeah, there's no moral reasonand I'm sorry for all of you
dealing with the purity cultureor religious stuff that plays
into how you feel about it,because it can really mess with
your head.
Annette Benedetti (46:33):
But yeah, body count is a result of toxic
masculinity.
It can be found in the queercommunity, queer fem community.
It can be found in theheterosexual community, and I
think people that are obsessedwith that either are obsessed
with cocks, like men who areafraid of.
Liberty Shea Callahan (46:54):
Oh yeah, insecure about themselves, for
sure, right.
Annette Benedetti (46:58):
But apparently lesbians are insecure
about cocks too, and queer femsit's people who are obsessed
with the penis.
Yeah, in a way that's not good.
You can be obsessed withpenises in a good way.
You can be like yeah, I like alittle cock, but if you're like
Too many cocks means you're abad person.
(47:18):
No, that's not a thing.
That's just not a thing.
Liberty Shea Callahan (47:22):
No, have fun.
Go out, have fun, haveexperiences.
If you find a good one, hang onto it.
If you find someone you want tobe in partnership for and it's
like okay, but not great, justbe honest about it, work on it.
The more.
Sometimes, the more you do, thebetter it gets.
Annette Benedetti (47:43):
I mean don't look at them and say your cock
is okay, no, no, no, no, no.
Liberty Shea Callahan (47:47):
I mean my relationship, my
polyrelationship.
I'm in.
It wasn't amazing at first.
It was fine.
I was a little concerned.
If he hears this, he's going tobe like what?
Sorry, I was a little concerned, but it got better and better
and better and better over timeand now it is like damn amazing.
Annette Benedetti (48:13):
I love it.
Bad cock can become good cock.
Not that his cock was bad, butmaybe an okay cock can become
amazing yeah.
Liberty Shea Callahan (48:20):
And it's not just about the cock, it's
about the toys and the fingersand the tongue and all that
stuff.
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti (48:29):
All right, I feel like we have covered our
bi-revelations.
I feel like we have coveredbody count and now we need to go
to a birthday.
Liberty Shea Callahan (48:38):
Yep, we're going to a birthday and
I'm out of my drink, so cheers.
Good night everyone.
Annette Benedetti (48:43):
If you have questions, comments.
Now you know that you can sendme a voicemail If you want to
find me.
Hopefully you know where tofind me by now locker room.
Talking shots on Instagram,facebook.
She explores life on both ofthem.
You can join me on my personalInstagram.
Being Benedetti YouTube, youcan come and see the two of us
(49:03):
talking.
Yeah, you can join us.
Face to face.
Liberty Shea Callahan (49:07):
We look cute and that.
Annette Benedetti (49:08):
Benedetti, we look really cute tonight.
I'm feeling good about myself.
I am too.
Liberty Shea Callahan (49:12):
I'm feeling really good about myself
.
Yes, Cheers.
Annette Benedetti (49:15):
So check us out there and subscribe to my
triple X.
Okay, all right, but we got togo and hey, happy bi-visibility
month.
Happy bi-visibility month.
Liberty Shea Callahan (49:28):
Cheers, all right, cheers Until next
time.
Annette Benedetti (49:30):
I'll see you in the locker room, folks.
Bye.
Hi, this is Annette Benedetti, your hostess
for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to
think of itself as the queer NPRof raunchy women's sex talk.
You are about to sit in on thekind of conversations women have
on their girls' nights out orbehind closed doors, while
enjoying delicious drinks anddishing about sex, think, fun,
(00:26):
honest and feminist as fuck, andalways with a goal of fighting
the patriarchy, one orgasm at atime.
Welcome to the locker room.
Today's locker room talk andshots topic is bisexual
(00:47):
revelations and does body countmatter?
September is bisexual awarenessmonth and there's a bisexual
awareness week.
There's a bisexual awarenessday, but you know, because I'm
bisexual and I've got a lot ofbi-babe friends, like my guest
(01:07):
today who's with me, I'm gonnacelebrate it all month long and
I'm gonna be visible as fuck,and my guest today is a
returning guest.
Liberty Shea Callahan (01:19):
Hello.
Annette Benedetti (01:20):
Liberty.
Hi Liberty, can you remindlisteners what the episodes that
you have been on in the pastare?
Liberty Shea Callahan (01:29):
Yes, I was on one called Unicorns
three's, not a crowd.
Annette Benedetti (01:36):
No, it's not a crowd.
Oh, it's not a crowd no, thatis the name.
Liberty Shea Callahan (01:40):
I was on one about Hump Festival Review
and I was on one called FromHousewife to Ho, which is a very
popular podcast hit because wewere both housewives and now
we're both hoes.
Yeah that's right.
I just re-listened to that one.
(02:01):
I would like to go back andmaybe do a second session of
that one.
Annette Benedetti (02:05):
I think that we could.
I mean, I can talk about myjourney from housewife to ho
again.
Liberty Shea Callahan (02:11):
There's some questions I never quite
answered in that podcast that weshould talk about.
Annette Benedetti (02:16):
But that's not what we're talking about
today, and we're having realdrinks.
Liberty Shea Callahan (02:21):
Yeah, cheers, it's been a while.
Annette Benedetti (02:22):
We can't cheers yet.
You've got to tell them whatwe're drinking.
Liberty Shea Callahan (02:24):
I will Okay, we are drinking Prosecco.
Ménage Tois Perfect for thispodcast, of course.
With a nice green sticker frommy corner store, ménage Tois
Prosecco, with a lovely productI'm going to plug Girl Meets
(02:44):
Dirt.
It's a shrub from the San JuanIslands.
It's a woman-owned,female-owned business.
I stopped in there when I wason Orcus Island and did a
tasting and it's just awesome.
It's a peach shrub, so a shrubis kind of like a drinking
vinegar and you can mix it withsparkling water, or you can mix
(03:06):
it with just tap water, orProsecco, in this case, or
champagne.
Annette Benedetti (03:11):
So basically it's Dirty Girls Meets Threesome
.
Liberty Shea Callahan (03:14):
Yeah, and you know, wait, I do love
the story of Girl Meets Dirt.
How this business came about isOrcus Island used to be the
largest producer of fruit likeexported to Washington state.
And there's all these fallowfruit trees all over the island,
like thousands of trees that noone is gathering their fruit.
(03:38):
And she started gathering thefruit and making jam and then
making shrub from them Awesome.
Annette Benedetti (03:44):
Yeah, and I will drop the link to Girl.
Liberty Shea Callahan (03:49):
Meets.
Annette Benedetti (03:49):
Dirt Meets Dirt, so you can do your own
version of the Dirty Minajatois,which is what we're going to
call it.
Liberty Shea Callahan (03:57):
Yeah, it's yummy, dirty Minajatois
it's really good.
Annette Benedetti (04:01):
It's really good.
Liberty Shea Callahan (04:04):
This is a great one to have with
Thanksgiving dinner, actually asa pre-dinner cocktail.
Annette Benedetti (04:09):
It's autumn right now, hey guys speaking of
Autumn, yet Shh Big news I amnow taking your questions via
voicemail.
If you scroll down to thedescription of this podcast,
you're going to find a linkwhere you guys can leave me a
voicemail with your questions,thoughts, advice that you want.
(04:33):
I will base a podcast on it.
Or I'll just answer, or I willrecruit a professional to
interview to answer yourquestions and all you have to do
is click on that link, leaveyour little voicemail, yay, and
I guess they could ask questionsme questions too.
Liberty Shea Callahan (04:49):
You can come back.
Annette Benedetti (04:50):
Yes, ask us, because we're going to talk
about a lot of shit today andwe're going to let's dive in
because I know you all know,liberty and I are friends.
We met on a date because wewent on a date together.
Liberty and I have not had sex,just like you guys know, but we
have had sex with the samecouples.
(05:10):
Yes, we have kissed.
Liberty Shea Callahan (05:14):
Is that okay to say?
Annette Benedetti (05:17):
We have kissed Liberty and I have kissed
she's a good kisser and webanged the same couple.
Just go listen to that unicornepisode.
It's pretty amazing.
Liberty Shea Callahan (05:29):
Is that the only person, people we have
in common?
I don't think so.
Probably not.
I don't think so.
Annette Benedetti (05:35):
Okay, nope, another episode, another episode
.
Maybe we'll figure it out, butwe're both bisexual, obviously,
and we have had quite the yearof experiences.
And because it's by VisibilityMonth, I think we want to review
and reveal the things thatwe've learned being by, being by
(05:58):
and on our journey.
Both of us have partners whoare men.
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:07):
And we love those partners very much.
We love the cocks.
Annette Benedetti (06:12):
We love all of them.
I like to say the cock, butit's because I really, yeah, I
like the male energy.
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:18):
I like, I do like it.
Annette Benedetti (06:20):
I also like the cock.
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:22):
I'm not gonna lie.
Annette Benedetti (06:24):
It's a good part of the deal, but we also
we're bisexual, so I want togive you a chance to launch into
what is this year so far.
If you've had a revelationabout being bisexual and on your
journey, what would you sayit's been?
Liberty Shea Callahan (06:46):
Oh my gosh, it's been a.
I think it's been mostlyaccepting myself, accepting
myself as bi.
I'm not.
I'm still a little closetedbeing bi.
I'm not super out there.
You won't really find lots ofyou know in my social media
posts about being bi.
(07:06):
I'm still a little shy about itand so I think it is that I'm
slowly opening up, about talkingabout it, slowly accepting that
it's a spectrum and I fall on apart of the spectrum and it
really doesn't matter where youfall.
That's just who you are.
(07:27):
We're just people.
We have feelings and it's okayfor those feelings to change and
those interests to change.
It's okay to have newexperiences and I think I've
really also come to love theidea of being pansexual.
You love who you love and youlike who you like, Even though
(07:52):
with all of that, I stillstruggle a little bit with being
bi.
Annette Benedetti (07:57):
Can you talk about, because I think this is
very common.
What is it that makes youstruggle with it?
Liberty Shea Callahan (08:05):
I think it's that I have not been able
to find, have maintain aromantic relationship with a
woman.
That is where I feel like Ifall short on the bi spectrum
the bi being bi which I don'tthink I'm alone there.
I'm sure there's many, manyother women who have the same
(08:29):
experience and many men,probably by men, who have the
same experience.
I think I am mostly sexuallyattracted to women and men and I
am romantically attracted tomen.
I think that is common.
But within the bi community andthe queer community there is a
(08:50):
little bit of stigmatism withbeing a sexual object for people
like me.
I struggle with that.
I really do, because I don'twant to objectify anyone.
I also just haven't had thechance or opportunity yet to.
It just hasn't happened yet.
(09:12):
I've gone on some dates.
I've met some people.
I've disappointed a few people.
Someone who didn't realize Iwent on a date and she didn't
realize that I was in a polyrelationship with a man.
I could just see immediatelyshe was deflated.
Annette Benedetti (09:31):
Was she deflated because you were poly,
or because you were poly and youhad a male partner?
Liberty Shea Callahan (09:36):
I think both, I think both of those
things she didn't know you werepoly.
No, I didn't hide it, it hadn'teven come up yet.
I met her in real life, realtime, not on an app where you
you met her with me.
I did.
I met her with you at a queerevent and it was amazing.
I loved that night.
That was so much fun.
(09:56):
I drew on your butt that night.
First you drew on it for a longtime and we were like what's
wrong with this marker.
Then we realized the cap was on.
Annette Benedetti (10:09):
Oh my.
Liberty Shea Callahan (10:09):
God, my butt was just hanging out for
everybody to see, althoughluckily nobody was watching,
because everyone was dancing andhaving fun.
That's true.
Annette Benedetti (10:18):
We may have had a drink.
I drew on her butt and I wasn'tseeing anything.
Maybe it's like invisible glowink and then realized that oh my
God, that's hilarious.
Yes.
Liberty Shea Callahan (10:33):
That was a super fun night.
I loved watching all the babyqueers.
I felt jealous of them learningwho they are so much younger
than I was and feeling socomfortable to be out and be
open and be in this reallyamazing space with supportive
(10:57):
women.
It was awesome, it was great,it was a good night.
Annette Benedetti (11:01):
That was a good night it's super fun Until
the end.
But for me I want to kind ofrewind and touch on the idea,
and I think a lot of bisexualpansexual women who are maybe
coming to either the realizationor having their first
(11:21):
opportunity to practice beingbisexual in real life later on
in life and maybe this is truefor younger bisexual women too,
but I recognize this with olderbisexual women more who have
been maybe in heterosexualfacing relationships and then
have gotten out and then they'relike okay, now I want to try
dating women.
(11:42):
I think it's interesting to methat heterosexual people don't
question their heterosexualityprior to fucking around with
someone of the opposite sex.
It is just an assumed sexualorientation and maybe people's
argument would be that that'sthe natural sexual orientation.
(12:04):
But I actually don't believethat's true.
I'm going to tell you all likeand I'm like.
That's not the argument we'regoing to be having here.
But I have found oftentimes Ihear women saying that like,
questioning whether they're bior whether they belong in the
queer community, because theyhaven't.
Yet you know, oh, I've kissedsome girls, or maybe in college
(12:27):
I drunkenly had sex with onewoman and I know I'm.
I find women attractive, but Ihaven't like and it's like.
Is there a number of women youfeel you have to bang, to like
to be granted the?
You are queer.
Liberty Shea Callahan (12:42):
Right.
Annette Benedetti (12:43):
You know it's kind of crazy to me.
It is Because if you thinkabout the opposite in the in the
heterosexual world and this isgoing to this is a great place
to like tie in the whole bodycount conversation that's going
on Think about the opposite inthe heterosexual world.
Right, like, the more men awoman bangs, the more everyone's
(13:06):
like her body count is too high.
It's not like oh, she's a banebang like 50 dudes.
She is super heterosexual andshe gets the like fucking gold
medal of heterosexuality becauseshe just banged 50 dudes.
It's like.
It's like.
It's like the more men you bangas a heterosexual woman, the
(13:27):
less value there is to you as aheterosexual woman.
Yet, in our case, as a bisexualwoman, if you haven't had more
women, then you are more likely,your identity is more likely to
be questioned by the queer andspecifically lesbian community.
Liberty Shea Callahan (13:46):
Yeah, this is true, and I mean, how
fucked up is that?
It's pretty fucked up, and so Ithink, so you kind of are
validating some of my feelingsby saying, okay, there are some
people who would question on the, from the lesbian community,
who might question well, how gayare you?
You know, like, are you gayenough, or I don't know what is
(14:08):
gay enough?
I know, I know what is gayenough, don't know, don't know,
I don't know, I just know.
I haven't yet had theexperience, but when I was in I
got to have a and that was there.
I got to have a lot of fun in aspace in the spring where I did
(14:32):
feel completely comfortablejust being who I am, and part of
that was being bisexual andpart of that was, you know,
hooking up with some women andit felt great.
And it was great because therewere no questions, there was no
worry about like we just we were, just who we are, and it was so
(14:53):
much fun.
Annette Benedetti (14:54):
I mean, let's be clear, I was there, but I
wasn't there yes.
I was in the house, but Iwasn't in the room.
Liberty Shea Callahan (15:05):
And it was super fun and it was, you
know, a kind of a surprise.
I mean, one of them was someoneyou guys heard me talk about on
the threesome podcast.
Annette Benedetti (15:17):
Go back and listen, go back and listen.
Liberty Shea Callahan (15:19):
Yeah, so one of the women who was from
the second couple I talked abouton that podcast came to this
retreat that Annette and I werepart of and I hadn't seen her in
a year and a half because I hadkind of cut it off because of
her boyfriend who was jealous.
But she came by herself and itwas just like it was when we
(15:42):
first met.
I mean, we're just very, we'revery affectionate and she makes
me feel good and I make her feelgood and it was fun for the
most part.
But you had a threesome.
Oh, oh, yeah, that too.
Yeah, we had a threesome withanother woman.
Annette Benedetti (15:58):
So, folks, you know how many women does she
have to bang?
Liberty Shea Callahan (16:02):
to be pretty.
I know, I know, and that wastotally led by.
I'll call her Salem becausethat's where she's from.
It was led by Salem.
Salem led the threesome withBeaverton.
Annette Benedetti (16:17):
Oh my God, you had a threesome with
Beaverton and Salem and asPortland, I feel like a failure.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don'tknow yeah that's Portland, salem
and Beaverton had a threesomeRight and that's weird.
Keep Portland weird.
(16:38):
Cheers to that, all right.
Liberty Shea Callahan (16:41):
So it was.
It was great, it was super funand I really like let go of all
my inhibitions and just did it.
And it was totally.
I'm blaming Salem, it wastotally her doing that threesome
would not have happened withouther.
She led a lot of this actualenergy over the weekend.
(17:02):
I mean there was just she waslike oozing it.
Annette Benedetti (17:06):
So yes, she was yeah, so I want to bring
this around.
Liberty is definitely queer.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Liberty Shea Callahan (17:20):
We established that at our closing
circle of the bisexual women'sretreat weekend Right, which we
will be having another one soon.
But I haven't had anythingsince then.
Annette Benedetti (17:32):
Oh, I mean, I had that date, but that didn't
go so well, but you haven't hadanything since then, except for
the date that didn't go well.
She was very into you and ifyou hadn't been poly, and if you
hadn't had a dick in your life,then you definitely would
probably be dating her right now.
Probably yeah, Probably wouldhave had sex with her?
Liberty Shea Callahan (17:50):
Yes, probably Right.
Yeah, but no, I was.
I've never had that experiencewhere you see someone deflate in
front of your eyes.
It's not a good feeling.
I mean, I'm not saying she waslike brokenhearted, but just
like, well now what.
She drove a long way to see methat day.
Annette Benedetti (18:13):
I mean, if I had been her I would have been
like maybe I don't want to dateyou, but let's have sex.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:16):
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti (18:19):
I mean like, get something out of your gas
money, right, get something outof not to be shallow, but why
miss out on a good deal?
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:28):
I know.
Annette Benedetti (18:28):
I know, and so that brings me to my
revelation.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:34):
Yeah, tell me, tell us about yours.
Yeah, top, top me off, top youoff.
Annette Benedetti (18:38):
I have a birthday party to go to.
This is off topic, but you allknow Deanna aka Ruby, a silver
medalist and Olympian in thesquirting sex Olympics.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:50):
I did not know that what I need to
listen to that episode.
Yeah, you got to listen to thatepisode.
Annette Benedetti (18:55):
Also expert at Titty's sex.
Liberty Shea Callahan (18:59):
Well, that doesn't surprise me.
Annette Benedetti (19:01):
No, no, it's her birthday Well tomorrow, but
tonight we are celebrating itand we're going out dancing.
I would like to challenge her.
Oh, a squirting, All right guys.
Liberty Shea Callahan (19:10):
So if that happens, we can't show it
on YouTube.
Annette Benedetti (19:16):
Maybe we'll start up an only fans account.
Oh, how are you talking?
And I'm going to use my friendsfor that, but anyways, because
we know how you feel aboutsquirting.
Okay, yeah, I'm not good at it,I would never win that contest
and I'm not even willing to tryit, but anyways, I want to bring
this around to like myrevelation this year, which has
(19:39):
I guess it's not a revelation,but it's a solidification of
something that I thought and Ihave experienced, maybe to the
max this year is and lesbians,queer fans who really decide
more to the lesbian spectrum.
I love you, but we got to havea fucking talk, okay.
(20:04):
As a bisexual woman, I have hadmoments where, when it comes to
the attraction and datingspectrum, I've been like maybe
it's better for me just to dealwith the devil, I know, than the
devil I don't meaning menversus women.
Again, that's very gendered.
I have been shocked at how muchtoxic masculinity is embedded
(20:31):
in the lesbian, specifically,and queer film community and I'm
going to give examples of itinstead of just throwing this
out.
And I think it's superimportant that we talk about it
and I think that the victims ofit well, they're all queer films
, but I think specificallybisexual women are in a position
where we really maybe see itmore clearly and I'm going to
(20:57):
explain sort of why.
One example of it that I've runinto a lot as a bisexual woman
when I'm talking to lesbiansabout how do you feel about
bisexual women, what are some ofthe things that come up that
bother you, because it's veryclear that some lesbians just
won't date us at all.
(21:18):
They're like if you've had acock in you, no, I'm not
interested.
And I kind of want to get tothe root of that right and some
of the things y'all say.
Like a good example, I wastalking to a lesbian a while
back and one of the things shethought was fun to say was like
well, my cock can be any sizeand it never goes limp.
(21:43):
I've got that on men and I wantto talk to you about why that
and it really gave me the ick.
It really gave me the ickbecause if there is one thing
we've worked on in this show isto talk about how sex is not
cock-centric.
Right, like you just made, sexcock-centric.
(22:04):
Whether it's a real or a fakecock, it's about the cock and I
think that's rooted in toxicmasculinity and the patriarchy
and the idea that arousal andsexual satisfaction comes from
the cock.
Liberty Shea Callahan (22:21):
Yeah, right, and doesn't at all.
Annette Benedetti (22:24):
I mean, that's exactly what it is.
And not only that.
You're like competing now withmen Like I've got a bigger cock
than you, Mine will stick.
Liberty Shea Callahan (22:33):
You don't have to right.
That's the point here.
Right it is, and I think that'sjust us.
Annette Benedetti (22:39):
We're just like.
I'm not with you for a cock.
I'm with you because I'mattracted to you and because I
know we can have sex that'sfulfilling, regardless of
whether you strap it on or youuse your fingers or mouth or
toys or whatever.
So that's just one example ofit.
Another example, especially, Ithink, in the poly community, is
(23:00):
I was talking to anotherlesbian and I was asking her.
She was poly and she made acomment about a woman she was
attracted to.
But she said well, she isalready seeing multiple people
and I know that she's seeingmore than one guy and I don't
(23:21):
want to see a woman who's seeingmore than one man.
And I said, well, if she wasseeing two other women, would
you care?
And she said no, now thatwouldn't bother me, but if she's
like yeah, if she's with liketwo guys, that's disgusting.
And this comes back to the bodycount shit and like, generally
speaking, when I think about thetopic and look, if you aren't
(23:41):
on TikTok, maybe you're missingout on this, but probably not.
Liberty Shea Callahan (23:45):
Yeah, we need to clarify what that means
.
Annette Benedetti (23:47):
Body count is this big issue that has come,
and it's not just on TikTok.
I think that we just haven'tcalled that in the rest, in our
other life, outside of socialmedia, men who think that women
who have been with more than Idon't even know what their OK
number is Maybe it's five morethan just a couple men.
(24:10):
The higher their body count is,the less their worth is.
You don't want to be with awoman who has a high body count.
Liberty Shea Callahan (24:19):
That's what some of the TikToks are
about.
Annette Benedetti (24:22):
All the men who are on the train, but it's
not just the men.
Here's what I'm telling you.
The body count issue isn't justa dude thing.
We're fem women.
Lesbians also feel that a woman, a bisexual woman, who has been
(24:44):
with too many or has too manymen in her life is problematic.
Right Like if they're poly.
They don't mind a woman havinglike many other women in her
life, but if there's more thanone cock in the picture, she's
nasty, she's bad, it's the samefucking bullshit.
Liberty Shea Callahan (25:03):
Yes, that's wrong.
Annette Benedetti (25:05):
Yeah, it's absolutely wrong.
It's another thing that I haveexperienced as a bi woman.
Sort of trying to find my wayin the queer or femme community
is just the way the ick factorthey'll get when they know I
have a male partner.
The idea that I interact with apenis and I interact with what
(25:30):
comes out of a penis.
Suddenly I'm a dirty person.
It is the exact same shit asthe body count thing coming from
toxic, dangerous beta men whothink they're alphas, yeah right
, and it's just as damaging tome as a woman.
But yet it's not held to thesame scrutiny.
(25:52):
Right, right, right, it's notheld to the same scrutiny and it
makes me feel just as fuckingbad.
Yeah, yeah, that's fucked up,and that is, I guess, has been
one of my big revelations inthis year trying to find my
places.
I think I always am and youalways are and a lot of our most
(26:13):
beloved people are in the queercommunity.
I think that bi, bisexual woman,pansexual woman, anybody who's
open to the array of genders Iam very much open to.
I think all genders are sexyand interesting and bring
something like amazing to thetable, and I think that we all
(26:37):
end up facing these kinds ofthings.
I also feel like the idea thatcocks are gross in the queer
femme community is transphobic.
Interesting yeah, Trans womenmay or may not have penises or
(26:59):
enlarged clits or lady dicks orwhatever, but it's the same deal
right, we're shaming a bodypart.
We're equating the worth of aperson to a body part.
Liberty Shea Callahan (27:10):
Right, that's yeah, and it's so.
I think it's easy to fall intolike a comedic trap like sort of
about that, but it's not funny.
I mean it's not.
It's really everybody.
Everybody has value and worthand it doesn't matter who
(27:31):
they've been with or how manytimes.
What's our message for the bibisexual women out there?
Annette Benedetti (27:37):
Like going through this you have to find
your people because it's a roughworld.
Liberty Shea Callahan (27:42):
It is a rough world.
Annette Benedetti (27:43):
I think I mean Liberty and I were sitting
and talking before we startedthis podcast and I mean one
thing that has been crucial formy mental, my mental health, my
physical health has been findinga community where I feel truly,
I can be truly myself, where Ihave secure relationships and
(28:09):
where nobody is going to shameme for the stuff I bring to the
table, yeah, and I think that'slike, ultimately, what I want in
my relationships is currentlyI'm in a poly relationship, my
partner is completely fine andopen with me being with a woman
(28:29):
or with another man, and there'sno.
Liberty Shea Callahan (28:32):
You know , as long as our relationship
remains kind and compassionateand loving and honest and all of
that, then we don't have anissue.
Sometimes I wonder if down theroad, I'm gonna decide I wanna
be in something more monogamous,but I'm always gonna be
bisexual and I know you havefaced this a lot in the last
(28:57):
couple of years Like I'm alwaysgonna be bisexual.
So there's always gonna be, andthat's where I do just sort of
look at, you know, if I were tobe in the monogamous
relationship with a man or witha woman.
But I still have that littleitch sometimes.
It's like I want that to beable to be something we can be
(29:20):
open about and talk about asneeded basis.
Annette Benedetti (29:25):
I think there's something about.
I think the struggle for me iswhen I'm out as a bisexual woman
, when I'm in my community, andI have learned also that my
community, that I fit intosomething I'm really settling
into is a community of bisexualwomen, like really made up of
(29:47):
bisexual women that can I canturn to you, that can under I
mean regardless of who I'm inrelationship with.
When I say community, it doesnot this does not exclude my
partner as a man, or if I wereto be with a woman who was a
lesbian, exclude that partner.
But when I say my community, Imean the people I turn to who
(30:11):
really can understand myexperience, like it's strongly
seated in bisexual womanidentifying people.
Yes, yeah, and it is crucial tome so that whether I am
monogamous or poly and over thecourse of my life I've kind of
(30:32):
shipped it in and out of thoserelationship styles I have
people who see me Like it's veryimportant to me to be seen as
bisexual and people might ask,like why do you care if people
know you're bisexual, right?
What is your answer to that?
Liberty Shea Callahan (30:50):
My answer would always be that
anytime I'm visible or just likethis being on a podcast,
storytelling is that if there'ssomeone out there struggling and
they identify with our storyand it's helped them in some way
, then that's a good thing.
So if, by announcing showing upas bisexual publicly is helpful
(31:15):
to someone else to show up asthemselves, their authentic
selves, then that is a goodthing, and that is why it is
important to show up.
Yeah, and I know we don't.
Yeah, we all know no onenecessarily needs to show up as
heterosexual.
We're here for the other people.
We're here for the people thatdon't have necessarily a
(31:38):
community or a place to turn,who aren't feeling like they fit
in, and I wish I had this.
When I was in college or highschool, I definitely did not
want anyone to know that I mightbe bisexual.
Definitely I was terrified ofit.
I had a roommate that was alittle snakey with me.
(32:01):
I mean, she was one of my bestfriends, but she liked to mess
around and but I was terrifiedthat she would turn on me and
make it be my fault.
I'm the one that's weird.
Annette Benedetti (32:17):
I'm the one that wanted it and it wasn't a
good feeling you know not at all, and I think that when you
aren't seen you can go to somereally dark places.
Liberty Shea Callahan (32:29):
Yes, that is so true.
When you feel like there's noone else.
And I think over the course ofmy journey this like sexual, you
know, learning about mysexuality, becoming more open,
about it being on your podcast,talking more openly to people I
just really have learned thatthere really is something for
(32:51):
everyone.
There's someone for everyone.
There's whatever it is that youdesire.
There's somebody else thatdesires that too, and it's just
about finding the rightcommunity or people that you can
share that with.
Yeah, but don't stop searching.
Annette Benedetti (33:13):
No, because there are people out there, but
also listen to your intuitionAbsolutely.
And I think something that biwomen do a lot is they try to
fit into queer communities thatdon't fit them.
For example, I think for me iswhen I have tried really hard to
fit into more lesbian orientedcommunities or leaning
(33:41):
communities where the idea ofsomeone being open to and
attracted to other agendas islooked down upon.
It can put me in a really badmental health space.
Yeah, not only that, I think itcan make bisexual, pansexual
women really feel like they haveto kind of lie about their
(34:04):
attraction.
One a common thing I think I'veheard and I know I used to say
I don't anymore is you hearwomen saying well, I'm with my
husband and he's different, butif he were to die or we were to
break up, I would never date aguy again.
That's like a common thing andI think that is less the truth
(34:25):
and more trying to be accepted.
Liberty Shea Callahan (34:28):
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti (34:29):
And I'm just like no.
Liberty Shea Callahan (34:30):
Yeah, no yeah.
Annette Benedetti (34:31):
I'm definitely just attracted to
people and I will see and bewith the people that treat me
well and make me feel sparklyand wonderful.
That's right.
Liberty Shea Callahan (34:43):
Cheers to that, cheers to that.
I think this is a good segue togo into body count.
Annette Benedetti (34:49):
I think it's an important conversation.
But I think it's fun to do thisconversation not just in the
context of the view that menhave on body count, oh no, but
the view that people of allsexual orientations have on a
woman's, because no one caresabout men's body count,
(35:10):
apparently, but a woman's bodycount when it comes to penises
and penis owning people, yeah, Ithink it's fascinating if you
think about it, it's like peopleare disturbed by a woman
interacting with more than onepenis.
Liberty Shea Callahan (35:28):
Yeah, what the fuck.
I mean I can't even reallyspeak to this because to me it's
not a morality thing.
It used to be.
I mentioned it on the podcastabout From House Wife to Ho.
That I did.
I wrote fun.
I just have to say I freakinghate the word body count, but
anyway I did.
In my 20s I was still dealingwith Catholic guilt and being a
(35:55):
Bornigan virgin after having sexat 15 and then deciding I was
going to wait until some I don'tknow what number, because I was
like well, I'm not waitinguntil I'm married, but I'm going
to wait until sometime when itfeels more right, I don't know.
Anyway, so I have gone throughthe morality issue, did you?
(36:20):
You went through that too.
Annette Benedetti (36:22):
I mean when I was very young but my body
can't, went up pretty fuckingfast.
Liberty Shea Callahan (36:27):
So no, mine didn't.
I was keeping the number.
I called it keeping the numberslow.
I was trying.
I used to have people like that.
Annette Benedetti (36:34):
I remember that.
I remember that.
Liberty Shea Callahan (36:36):
I used to have people trying.
I remember one of my college.
It was someone I dated in highschool, but then we were still
friends in college and we justhad this most intense physical
chemistry.
I would say we still do.
Thank God we don't have to seeeach other.
We actually made a consciousdecision to not see each other
(36:58):
after I got married because itwas too intense.
But I remember telling him noin high school and telling him
no in.
I remember laying on my bed incollege and telling him no One
night and then about probably ayear and a half later, I
(37:20):
remember calling and saying youremember how I told you that
thing.
Then I was trying to keep mynumbers low.
Like I've changed my mind.
Can we like we just need tomake this happen, like it needs
to happen, and it was amazing,it was great.
I'm like why did?
Why would?
What have I been waiting for?
I've known you since I was 17.
I'm 22 now.
Like we could have been doingthis for five years.
What are you?
Annette Benedetti (37:42):
doing so.
Let's talk about let's do thisthe pros of having a high body
count, because I think there arepros.
Liberty Shea Callahan (37:50):
Oh yeah, I have a great analogy.
Can I tell you my analogy?
I like your, yes, ok, so myanalogy is there's a difference
between going on a vacation andbeing a traveler.
A vacation is like you go to anall-inclusive resort in
whatever Baja or something inCabo, but traveling is
(38:17):
experiences.
Traveling is you're having newexperiences.
Does it mean that thoseexperiences are like a relaxing
resort where you get fed allyour meals and you have
cocktails every day?
No, it's not that.
But so my analogy is that whenyou have more experiences, it's
(38:38):
you learn more.
It travelers learn more aboutthe world than someone who goes
to an all-inclusive resort.
You're not really getting toknow the city you're in.
You're not getting to know thecountry.
When you have sex with lots ofpeople, you get to know
different things.
You get to know what somepeople find normal, that you
(39:00):
were worried about, that youthought maybe was weird, and you
find out, oh, like, 10 otherpeople have this same kink that
I do.
Annette Benedetti (39:08):
You also learn what pleases you.
How?
Liberty Shea Callahan (39:12):
to have orgasms.
Yeah, about you.
You learn by yourself.
Annette Benedetti (39:14):
Yes, yeah, I mean a higher body count.
Can you do it with one person?
Maybe, Maybe, yeah.
Liberty Shea Callahan (39:25):
I had a conversation with my housemate
before I left the house and Iwas saying when?
Yes, if you have that initialexperience and it's really
awesome, it usually gets betterover time.
Annette Benedetti (39:38):
Yeah, but you won't know if you like
threesomes.
You won't know if you like twodicks at once.
You won't know if you likethings that they aren't willing.
There's always someone, alwayshas something they're not
willing to do.
You cannot learn those things,and I mean unless.
I mean if you have a partnerthat's willing to do sexy
(39:58):
adventures with you thatincludes other people or
includes going to munches ortastings where you try other
things then yeah, I supposeRight, let's be honest, you
can't.
You don't know the differencebetween sex with a woman and a
(40:20):
man if you're only having sexwith one person.
You really don't, Although inthe context of body count, I
don't know that they includewomen.
I feel like usually it's justlike how many men have shown up.
Liberty Shea Callahan (40:31):
I think we just need to break that whole
idea down and say, listen, thisis what it is.
Body count is everybody, it'severybody.
Annette Benedetti (40:38):
Everybody.
Liberty Shea Callahan (40:39):
It's everybody that you have had
sexual relations with.
Whether or not and of course Iused to have if there was no
penis inserted in the vagina, itdidn't count Well yes it does.
God, did you have friends thatonly had anal sex, which is
insane Because they didn't wantit to count?
(41:00):
That is the most fucked upthing.
That is so fucked up.
That was long before I ever hadanal sex.
Annette Benedetti (41:06):
That is still a thing that it blows my mind,
I feel like anal sex is nextlevel like body count.
That's not.
That's like.
It's like it's like bonus roundon body count level.
Absolutely Not only did hispenis go in, you went up your
ass which takes like, like yougot a Right you got a.
Liberty Shea Callahan (41:26):
I know I mean men are you like for the
men who are talking about bodycounts.
So do you only count it if awoman sticks a dildo in your ass
Like is yeah, what's like abody count for a man.
Annette Benedetti (41:38):
How many dildos have been up your ass,
right?
I'm only good with you ifyou've had like One dildo, right
.
Liberty Shea Callahan (41:45):
Other than mine, yeah.
Annette Benedetti (41:50):
What a ridiculous, what a ridiculous
notion.
I mean, I do think, people thatare concerned with body count
here's what I'm gonna.
I am gonna venture to say, andI dare you to argue with me, I
think anyone who is, who isconcerned about a woman's body
count when it comes to malebodies, I bet you they're really
bad in bed.
Liberty Shea Callahan (42:11):
I would say they aren't gonna do what
we'll do.
That's for damn sure.
They are not, that is for sure.
I mean, that's probably the onething I've learned about being
an older you know, middle-agedwoman is we tend to blow the
minds of the younger men orthose that haven't had a lot of
(42:33):
experience and women.
And women, because we arecomfortable with ourselves.
We know what we want, we knowwhat we like, we know how to
tell you how to do it.
We're not gonna be shy about it.
Yeah, it's, there's definitelya bonus there and there's a
reason why that's a whole genreof porn, I mean.
Annette Benedetti (42:53):
Oh, you mean women at our age?
Yeah, we are not older.
Liberty Shea Callahan (42:57):
We're like perfect, but we're kind of
like milfs, milfs, yeah, prettymuch Cooters, yeah, so yeah, for
me, I think we should talkabout sexual health is the only
is one of the major concerns.
Annette Benedetti (43:11):
The only con.
Liberty Shea Callahan (43:13):
Of body count is sexual health and
definitely.
Annette Benedetti (43:18):
You can have sex with one person.
Liberty Shea Callaha (43:20):
Absolutely , you can have.
Yeah, you could have totallyand still get some weird thing.
So, making sure you get testedregularly, making sure you use
condoms if you're not in arelationship with that person.
Yeah, that is really important.
Annette Benedetti (43:35):
I think that's like the only drawback is
concern about sexual health.
Is there another?
Liberty Shea Callahan (43:41):
con I mean.
The only other con I see isthat the like kind of what I was
saying was like a one nightstand.
It may not be that great, likeit might be like meh and but you
know what, that's okay.
It doesn't mean that you haveto be sad about it or mad about
it, or it's just an experience.
Annette Benedetti (44:00):
Yeah, but you have sex with someone that
you've been with for a long time.
Sometimes you have sex whereit's meh.
Yeah, absolutely For sure.
Liberty Shea Callahan (44:09):
You know I have very few regrets in my
life as far as people I have hadsex with.
I only have two regrets.
I was about to say one of them.
I see at Picathon every yearand I always avoid eye contact.
And his wife is really hot, butI just can't make eye contact
(44:31):
with him.
I walk away, I run away.
I turn away because it was asituation where it was the worst
kiss I've ever had in my entirelife, but I was Could you?
Annette Benedetti (44:45):
hit on his wife.
Liberty Shea Callahan (44:46):
I probably could.
I've seen her on his profile,but that night I ended up just
like letting him fuck me frombehind, so I didn't have to kiss
him.
Annette Benedetti (45:01):
You.
Let him fuck you from behind toavoid kissing him.
Yeah, I did.
Liberty Shea Callahan (45:06):
I was really it was.
It was that was during myhormones phase, my WHORE and my
ONS's where I just like I wouldcry if I wasn't having sex five
nights a week.
It was desperate times,desperate times.
I was like absolutely, I hadtestosterone flowing through my
body.
Annette Benedetti (45:26):
Oh, that's awesome.
Liberty Shea Callahan (45:27):
Yeah, it was a little Looking back, I
see.
So there the body count was wayhigh and I see a little bit of
Some friends were concernedabout me.
Annette Benedetti (45:37):
All right.
So sometimes body count can bea result of hormones anything
like that.
So maybe you'll have someregrets, but I would argue that
keeping your body can't lowbecause you're worried about
what other people think youcould have regrets for the
people you didn't hit it withbecause of that.
Absolutely, regrets can happeneither way.
Liberty Shea Callahan (45:59):
Like I did with that person from high
school and college.
I'm like why did it take usfive years?
I'm dumb.
Annette Benedetti (46:05):
Look, I'm not saying be a whore.
I'm not like pushing people tobe whores.
Liberty Shea Callahan (46:10):
That is not even a word, okay.
Annette Benedetti (46:12):
I'm not in the bad sense of the word.
Liberty Shea Callahan (46:15):
Whore can be a good word, yeah, anyway
.
Yeah, there's no moral reasonand I'm sorry for all of you
dealing with the purity cultureor religious stuff that plays
into how you feel about it,because it can really mess with
your head.
Annette Benedetti (46:33):
But yeah, body count is a result of toxic
masculinity.
It can be found in the queercommunity, queer fem community.
It can be found in theheterosexual community, and I
think people that are obsessedwith that either are obsessed
with cocks, like men who areafraid of.
Liberty Shea Callahan (46:54):
Oh yeah, insecure about themselves, for
sure, right.
Annette Benedetti (46:58):
But apparently lesbians are insecure
about cocks too, and queer femsit's people who are obsessed
with the penis.
Yeah, in a way that's not good.
You can be obsessed withpenises in a good way.
You can be like yeah, I like alittle cock, but if you're like
Too many cocks means you're abad person.
(47:18):
No, that's not a thing.
That's just not a thing.
Liberty Shea Callahan (47:22):
No, have fun.
Go out, have fun, haveexperiences.
If you find a good one, hang onto it.
If you find someone you want tobe in partnership for and it's
like okay, but not great, justbe honest about it, work on it.
The more.
Sometimes, the more you do, thebetter it gets.
Annette Benedetti (47:43):
I mean don't look at them and say your cock
is okay, no, no, no, no, no.
Liberty Shea Callahan (47:47):
I mean my relationship, my
polyrelationship.
I'm in.
It wasn't amazing at first.
It was fine.
I was a little concerned.
If he hears this, he's going tobe like what?
Sorry, I was a little concerned, but it got better and better
and better and better over timeand now it is like damn amazing.
Annette Benedetti (48:13):
I love it.
Bad cock can become good cock.
Not that his cock was bad, butmaybe an okay cock can become
amazing yeah.
Liberty Shea Callahan (48:20):
And it's not just about the cock, it's
about the toys and the fingersand the tongue and all that
stuff.
Yeah.
Annette Benedetti (48:29):
All right, I feel like we have covered our
bi-revelations.
I feel like we have coveredbody count and now we need to go
to a birthday.
Liberty Shea Callahan (48:38):
Yep, we're going to a birthday and
I'm out of my drink, so cheers.
Good night everyone.
Annette Benedetti (48:43):
If you have questions, comments.
Now you know that you can sendme a voicemail If you want to
find me.
Hopefully you know where tofind me by now locker room.
Talking shots on Instagram,facebook.
She explores life on both ofthem.
You can join me on my personalInstagram.
Being Benedetti YouTube, youcan come and see the two of us
(49:03):
talking.
Yeah, you can join us.
Face to face.
Liberty Shea Callahan (49:07):
We look cute and that.
Annette Benedetti (49:08):
Benedetti, we look really cute tonight.
I'm feeling good about myself.
I am too.
Liberty Shea Callahan (49:12):
I'm feeling really good about myself
.
Yes, Cheers.
Annette Benedetti (49:15):
So check us out there and subscribe to my
triple X.
Okay, all right, but we got togo and hey, happy bi-visibility
month.
Happy bi-visibility month.
Liberty Shea Callahan (49:28):
Cheers, all right, cheers Until next
time.
Annette Benedetti (49:30):
I'll see you in the locker room, folks.
Bye.
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