C*ck & Ball Torture (CBT): Everything You Need to Know

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Annette Benedetti (00:03):
Hi, this is Annette Vinedetti, your hostess
for a locker room talk and shots, the podcast that likes to
think of itself as the queer NPRof raunchy women's sex talk.
You are about to sit in on thekind of conversations women have
on their girls' nights out orbehind closed doors, while
enjoying delicious drinks anddishing about sex, think fun,

(00:26):
honest and feminist as fuck, andalways with the goal of
fighting the patriarchy.
One female orgasm at a time.
Welcome to the locker room.
Today's locker room talk andshots topic is cock and ball

(00:48):
torture by listener request.
I had a listener, a bravelistener.
Reach out to me to request cockand ball torture information
podcast episode.
And so listen, guys.
You can scroll down to thedescription of this podcast.
You will find a link to avoicemail where you can send me

(01:10):
your questions and I will doepisodes by request or I'll get
your questions answered.
But this question came at aparticularly good time.
We are heading into October kinkmonth, also locked over.
If you've been around for anyamount of time, you know that my
most popular episodes tend tobe about male chastity and

(01:34):
locking up cocks.
But we're next leveling theconversation and if you've been
listening for any time at allyou also know, in the episode
about getting creative withcocks, my go to is to slap one.
I don't know.
I think that tells you a littlebit about me.
Don't do any of that withoutconsent.
But yeah, I'm not qualified totalk to you about cock and ball

(01:55):
torture, but this is prettyexciting.
I have someone here whodefinitely definitely is is
qualified to walk us through,you know, torturing cocks and
balls, which I'm kind ofshockingly surprised about.
So my guest today is Lisa Finn.
She is a Brooklyn based sexeducator for Beyblend and

(02:18):
sibling store Good vibes.
She has been featured inpublications such as the New
York Times having them post,cosmo that's where I found you
Forbes, gq and many more, andshe's led dozens of workshops
everywhere from Ivy Leagues toto nightclubs.
Finn absolutely loves helpingfirst timers to feel unashamed,

(02:40):
to explore their curiosities,especially in kink, and she
leases humor into education as areminder that pleasure should
always be fun, and we talk aboutthat a lot on this podcast.
But before I go any further,lisa, will you take a moment to
introduce yourself to mylisteners?

Lisa Finn (02:59):
Absolutely.
Hi everyone.
I'm so stoked to be here, sostoked to be talking about some
CDT not, you know, cognitivebehavioral therapy but I have
been working as a sex educatorwith Beyblend now for over seven
years.
I also work with their siblingcompany, good Vibrations.
So if you're out in SanFrancisco, good Vibes has been

(03:21):
around since 1977, which is wild.
Love that Beyblend is alsocelebrating our 30th anniversary
this month actually.
But I have worked in sex toyshops, like Annette was saying.
I've taught workshopseverywhere, from Columbia
University to tying up people ina dive bar.
I love just how vast this worldof sex and kink and desire and

(03:49):
pleasure is, and I think that'sone of the reasons why I'm
really excited to talk aboutthis topic in particular,
because this is such a divisivetopic where some people are like
, oh my God, no, no, no, no, andother people are like, yeah,
yeah, please.
So to introduce some people tosomething that might be really
taboo is one of my favoritethings to do.

(04:09):
So I'm so, so stoked to be here.
Thank you so much for having me.

I'm stoked to have you here too, and that is
exactly what we love to do onthis podcast.
Now, listeners and usually Igive you the rundown on why you
should stick through to the endof a podcast for takeaways, but
this whole episode is going tobe a takeaway.
So from the beginning to theend, we are going to give you

(04:35):
the rundown on what CBT and Imay use that a little bit more
throughout this podcast, so thatwhen I post videos they don't
get shut down on me on what itis, why, why people want to do
it, how to keep it safe, how todo it.
We're even going to tell youwhat equipment you can use doing

(04:57):
it.
So you, just, you just want tostick around because this is
going to be a fun conversation.
So it is nine o'clock where Iam, but, lisa, it's noon where
you are we're still going tothrough.
We're going to cheers in withsome.
I've got coffee.
What do you do?

Lisa Finn (05:12):
I've got a shot of whiskey.
She's got whiskey.

I've got vodka for the end and I will
take my shot at the end.
It's still nine AM, so I'mgoing to do coffee, maybe, maybe
I'll just do a little houseyand then you'll finish out.
You'll finish off with me.
Yeah, there we go.
All right, let's cheers, let'sget into it.
Let's talk about cheers, let'sjust.
I mean, let's just start withthe definition.

(05:37):
What is CBT?
Cock and ball torture?

Lisa Finn (05:42):
Yeah, so CBT can stand for cock and ball torture,
cock and ball torment.
Some people prefer the wordtorment if they're talking a
little bit more about the mentalside of things rather than the
physical side of things, andthen some people will just refer
to it as cock and ball play, sothat's a little bit more
overarching.

(06:02):
It doesn't necessarily meanthat there has to be any sort of
like say no masochism involved,but essentially it is the.
It is a sexual activity thatinvolves the application of
sensation, usually like a reallyintense sensation, commonly
pain to the penis and testiclesfor the sake of pleasure.
So, like I said, cbt focusesmore on the physical aspect when

(06:27):
we talk about it generally, butthere is also that mental
aspect.
There's a lot of psychologicalstuff to it.
So there's degradation,humiliation.
In some cases there's amasculine, so all of these
things sort of come together toform what CBT is overall.

Can we talk about some of the sensations or
applications of sensations thatare encompassed in CBT, because
I know that there are a widevariety of sensations that can
be applied to the cocks and theballs during this activity.

Lisa Finn (07:04):
Yeah, there is a huge , huge range of sensations.
You can go from a more mild andI'm using air quotes here
because everything is subjectivewhen it comes to kink more mild
sensations, so like using afeather tickling the balls,
maybe wartenbee rg wheel, maybeusing your nails to sort of
scratch along the surface.

(07:26):
Maybe it's something moreintense, like adding pressure,
impact play using hot wax,kicking ball busting is a very
popular form of CBT, which iswhen you put intense impact or
pressure, such as like steppingon the testicles.
It could be over stimulation.
So, holding a really powerfulvibrator against the cock to the

(07:49):
point where it getsoverstimulated, you could do
constriction play or evenchastity play.
You can do temperature play,you know, making the cock really
cold or making the cock reallywarm.
It can also get really intensephysically with things like
sounding, which is when youinsert a rod into the urethra.

(08:13):
It could be piercing play, itcould be cutting.
There are so many differentways to participate in CBT, but
the overarching thing is someform of pain, some form of
intense sensation or some formof degradation sort of involved

(08:34):
in this, and that's why we sayCBT, torture or torment as the
acronym for it.

So it sounds like CBT really can be done at a
multitude of levels, right fromlighter sensations to like
really intense urethral play,piercing, etc.
Not to intimidate newcomers,you don't have to go for that.

(09:00):
To be clear, it doesn't alwaysinclude humiliation, it doesn't
always include male chastity,but it's sort of like a choose
your own adventure, is that?

Lisa Finn (09:11):
correct Absolutely.
I mean, your CBT can besomething as simple as I like to
wear really, really tightunderwear because I like that
sensation of like feeling reallycompressed, feeling a lot of
pressure it could be.
I like the idea of someonethreatening my cock, not
actually doing anything to it.

(09:32):
That could be a form of it.
The scope is so, so vast and sobroad that whatever made you
want to listen to this today,whatever sort of inspired you,
it probably falls under theumbrella of CBT.

I like the idea of threatening a cock.
I mean, this is a whole new,like I never even thought about
threatening.
I'm totally thinking aboutthreatening cocks right now.

Lisa Finn (09:56):
Oh yeah All right?

Well, just found a new kink that I have.
So the next question I have foryou is why would a man or a
penis and cock and ball ownerwant to do this?
What is the draw?

Lisa Finn (10:18):
Yeah.
So when we're talking about thephysical sensations, any sort
of intense sensation, it's goingto give you that endorphin rush
, that adrenaline rush.
Especially when paired witharousal, all of these sensations
are going to feel even moreintense.
There's that pain for pleasuresort of situation that
definitely holds hands here withsadomasochism Also.

(10:41):
It's super taboo.
So you know, the idea of likinggetting hit in the balls, the
idea of liking someone tellingyou that you're a tiny penis man
, whatever it is, that's gettingyou off, that's taboo.
You know, a lot of people feel,might feel a sense of shame
around it, but that's what makesit hot for them.

(11:02):
It's that nice little horseshoeof shame coming background into
empowerment For some people,like we were saying, the
degradation, liking someonebeing cruel to them in this
aspect, liking the power dynamicof submitting, or having
someone sort of take thatcontrol over you.

(11:22):
For some folks it could be anemasculation thing or a
sophistication thing, or, on theother end of it, it could be an
adoration of masculinity, right, how much can you handle, how
much can you take?
How strong is your cock, howstrong are your balls?
So again, that big spectrum.
There there could be sort oflike a predatory sense to it

(11:47):
right the idea of feelinghelpless, this idea of having
something that is so intimate,something that is so delicate,
in somebody else's hands maybe,you know, actually physically in
their hands and sort of playingwith the idea of this being

(12:07):
something that is a delicatepart of the body and so the risk
that comes with it as well.

Right, that makes sense to me.
I mean, I'm in.
It makes sense to me.
Now, I think you really covereda broad spectrum of reasons.
It doesn't have to be one thing, right.
I think people tend to takekinks like this and think, oh,
it means this about somebody.

(12:36):
But there can be just so manythings that can be empowering,
it, can be letting go of control.
There's just a lot of thingsthat can draw somebody to it.
So I think an obvious questionis is CBT safe?

Lisa Finn (12:54):
It is if you do it correctly.
So there are a lot of safetythings to consider, but the
first and foremost is going tobe that consent right.
So there is an acronym calledrack, which stands for risk
aware consensual kink, becauseCBT has so many physical aspects
to it.
Again, depending on what you'redoing, if you're tickling

(13:16):
somebody, this may be on a muchgentler side of the risk, but
you know, if you're sounding orpiercing somebody, that can have
a very high risk.
So you want to make sure thatyou're going through the scene
negotiation.
You're talking about whateverybody's expectations are and
levels are, especially becausethis topic has so many things
that I couldn't compass.

(13:37):
You're going to want to discussaftercare as well.
That's going to be reallyimportant, not only for the
dynamic between you and yourpartner but also for, you know,
physical relief making sure thatyou're taking care of your body
afterwards.
You know, do you need to ice it?
Do you need to take some timeto prevent any injury that you
didn't want to happen, with thissort of realm of consent as

(14:03):
well, talking about what it'sgoing to look like for your
partner to react.
So for some folks, the yelping,the whimpering, the screaming,
the crying, the whining.
That's part of it.
That's their reaction to thisand that's something that they
want to have as a reaction.
But for some people that couldbe the flag of oh no, we've gone

(14:24):
too far.
So you want to go ahead anddiscuss that beforehand?
Cdt is something that reallyreally needs.
Safe words or safe actions ifthe person has the ability to go
, or the potential, rather, togo nonverbal, so like holding a
squeaky toy, a ring of keys thatthey could throw, tapping
somebody out like they'rewrestling and the top is

(14:47):
responsible for this to checkingin, maybe asking colors, if you
want to do color safe words solike hey, what's your color?
Red, stop.
Yellow, slow down, green.
This feels great, keep going.
And then there is the physicalrisk as well.
Right, yeah, so the testiclesthemselves, like inside the
scrotal sack, those are going tobe super delicate, the scrotal
sack not as much and I can talkabout that a little bit more

(15:11):
when we're talking about ways toplay with the balls but
erectile tissue as well, so likethe shaft of the dick.
Peyronie's disease is a diseasethat results in it's interesting
that they use the word disease,but I'm not a medical doctor
it's a condition that resultsfrom scar tissue that develops
on the penis from an injury,usually during sex, and that can

(15:35):
cause curved or painfulerections.
So that's something that youwant to be mindful of.
Testicular torsion, which is,you know, the twisting of the
testicles inside the scrotalsack, that can be a very
critical condition if not takencare of, and there is also the
potential for testicles torupture.

(15:55):
Beyond that infection, ifyou're cutting or piercing
anything like that, if you'rebinding for a while, you want to
look out for a loss of feeling,discoloration, swelling, cbt.
You really do need to be intowith your body Again, because
with that adrenaline and thoseadoraphans that are rushing

(16:17):
through your system when you'reexperiencing this can make your
pain tolerance a little bithigher.
So you want to make sure you'renot using numbing creams or
anything that could prevent yourbody signal of hey, we need to
stop, there's bad pain going onhere.
You don't want to disrupt anyof that.

Right.
So I guess I would add in likegetting inebriated and
participating in this kind ofevent is a no, no, like sobriety
or close to sobriety needs tobe had, I assume.

Lisa Finn (16:49):
Yeah, absolutely, especially if you're just sort
of stepping into it, if this isyour first time experiencing it,
because these are really uniquesensations and again, with that
adrenaline, you want to makesure that you have a good read
of your body, a good read ofthose responses.

Okay, that's excellent advice.
So, yes, it's potentiallydangerous, but if you know what
you're doing and you start outslow and you remember all the
rules of consent which we talkabout all the time here, it can
be safe and enjoyable.
So I want to start justlaunching into techniques and

(17:30):
approaches to CBT and what Iwill say to listeners is, after
we kind of go through dippingyour toe in the water, then like
getting into it, and then someadvanced level conversations
around how to perform CBT.
At the end of this podcast wewill be talking about, if this

(17:51):
has piqued your interest,whether you're someone who wants
to do it to your partner oryou're a person who has a cock
and wants to experience it.
We'll be talking about how areyou going to go from this
podcast to opening theconversation with your partner,
because it can be awkward, right, if you haven't already been in

(18:12):
conversation with your partnerabout kink.
But for right now, let's divein.
For somebody who is just nowrealizing they're interested in
participating in CBT, what isyour advice for getting started?
What are some beginnertechniques and even toys or
equipment that might beappropriate?

Lisa Finn (18:34):
Yeah, I really liked what you said about starting
slow, because that's going to be.
You want to take the time tolearn these sensations.
So, starting slow and buildingup gradually.
We come equipped with a lot ofreally great tools for CBT.
You know our hands, our fingers, our nails, mouths, teeth, feet

(18:56):
, feet is a big one for CBTPeople that like being stepped
on or maybe having someonesquish their balls or their
penis between their feet.
That is a huge fetish.
Here and there's, you know, themind tools.
So the threat, the illusion ofthreat, humiliation, denial,
helplessness, tease.

(19:16):
So when you're starting offwith CBT, if you're working with
a partner and that idea of thatpower and that control is
something that turns you on,have them threaten you, have
them tell you what they wouldlike to do so you can gauge what

(19:36):
is peaking your interest andtake it from there, make the
dialogue part of the play.
You know, using dirty talk as aform of consent, as a form of
checking in, is something thatcan really keep you in the
headspace and it could be areally good way to sort of
determine in that moment ifyou're like all right, broad

(19:57):
scope CBT.
I know I want to try it, butI'm not sure particularly what
pieces are of interest to me.
That could be a really good wayto facilitate that conversation
.

All right, so now you've gotten some
threatening.
And you're kind of ready totake it to the next level.
What are some actualapplications of torture that you
could start with?

Lisa Finn (20:27):
Yeah, so I mentioned before that the testicles are
the things that are really themost delicate part of that.
So when we think about theballs being super delicate and
this is actually where a lot ofpeople realize that they have
this kink thinking about theeasiest way to injure someone
with a penis, you're going tothink about kicking them in the

(20:48):
balls, right, so that that'ssort of like doubled over from a
light tap sort of idea.
The nerve endings that go fromthe testicular area go, like all
the way deep into the groin, sothat is a pain that resonates
really deep inside the body.
The scrotal skin, however, isvery akin to the skin of the
interleavia.
So if you want to put pressureon it, say, you're going to use

(21:14):
like the pads of your fingers,you can really like squeeze, and
actually I know we're bothwearing headphones, but the ear
lobe is also a really good wayto sort of like touch and feel
this sensation.
So if you're listening and youwant to sort of like pinch your
ear lobe with flat fingers, youcould put like a lot, a lot of
pressure on it and you're goingto be able to feel it, but it's

(21:37):
not going to be painful.
But if you go ahead and useyour nails or if you use your
teeth, you're going to be ableto feel that.
So, playing with pinching,playing with pressure, starting
off on that scrotal skin andseeing how it feels, tugging the
feeling of having weighttugging against the body is
something that's super popularin CBT and then extreme pressure

(21:59):
, so maybe giving somebody ahandjob and really beginning to
squeeze down on it as you go,again adding pressure a little
bit at a time so that you cansort of like gauge how it feels
Pulling sensations, pinchingsensations and then from there
realizing like, oh okay, thething that I really liked that

(22:21):
you did was that compression.
I really liked that sensationof like having my cock squished,
or the pinching.
I really liked that sensationof something sharp on me, the
pulling I really like thesensation of that weight.
We could do all these thingswith our hands and our mouths to
decide from there where we wantto take it.
Slapping is also a reallypopular way to get started.

It is.

Lisa Finn (22:47):
Spanking tools right here on the ends of our arms,
but you can also use otherimpact play tools.
So I have in my hands it'scalled the motivator crop, and
the end of this crop is longerand thinner than most riding
crops.
It is not quite a cane or aswitch, but because the tip is

(23:12):
thinner you're going to get amore precise hit.
So that could be really goodfor playing with the cock and
balls, because it is, you know,in comparison to other places
where you may spank on the body,it is a smaller area, so,
having something that's moreconfined, you'll really be able
to target where on the cock orthe balls you're hitting.

(23:34):
Also, this is made out ofleather, so it's got a really
good sting to it even if youonly hit lightly.
And for a lot of people thesound as well is something
that's really hot.
So this actually has two piecesof leather that slap together,
so I'm not even hitting my handsthat hard, but it's making a
nice loud noise.
So, using a crop, starting slow, sort of like tapping just

(24:00):
gently, and then building up, soyou can tease your partner with
this, threatening them just bythe look of the crop, maybe you
give it a couple of swings inyour hand first to get that
anticipation going beforeactually bringing it down on
them.
You can switch up, make alittle pattern like light, light

(24:21):
, slap, light slap, not let themknow when it is coming next,
again building that anticipation.
But using a tool like an impacttool on the crop could be a
really good way to get started,because you do have a lot of
control with this, because it'sin your hands.
It's not something that you'rerelying on the tool completely

(24:44):
to do the work.

You still have complete control of this,
which means that you can reallypace yourself and read your
partner as you go and you can goto YouTube Annette Benedetti,
my YouTube channel and you canactually see all of the products
she's going to be sharing withus so that you can have that
visual piece.
We will do our best for justlisteners to describe them, but

(25:06):
you're going to want to run overand see these tools.
I will also make sure you guyshave a full list of where to get
the tools in a follow-uparticle.

Lisa Finn (25:15):
So on to the next Awesome yeah, so balls, right,
balls, Ball torture.
The balls are definitely goingto be a big highlight of this.
Actually, when we talk aboutCBT, a lot of the stuff that
people are referring to reallydo focus on the balls, and again
, it's because they're sodelicate, it's because that's

(25:37):
where the taboo lies.
So there are a lot of toyscalled ball stretchers.
So I have two here.
This one that I'm holding iscalled the Sila Skin and it is
basically two thicker cock ringsthat are attached to one
another.
So one of the rings will goaround the shaft of the penis.

(26:00):
My lovely little stunt dickhere will go around the shaft of
the penis, just like a cockring.
So it'll go all the way to thebase.
And then the second ring.
Now, mind you, this is asilicone dildo, so the balls
can't really stretch away fromthe body, as is meant to happen
with a toy like this.
But essentially you put thatsecond ring between the balls

(26:23):
and the shaft, so where theballs hang from the shaft, and
again, a little bit hard to showon a silicone cock, but what
that's going to do is it's goingto pull the balls away from the
body.
So for some folks, that cangive that extra stimulation,
that weight where it feels likesomething's like pulling it away

(26:44):
from the body.
It can also intensify orgasmbecause it is keeping the balls
sort of down, further away fromthe body.
But for most folks before theycome the balls will tuck up a
little bit.
So having that sort ofrestriction in keeping those
balls down, now this one lookspretty intense.
So for folks that are listeningin, it kind of looks like two

(27:08):
tires, but it's actually super,super squishy.
So it's really really soft.
It's still going to give youthat pressure of holding the
balls down from the body becauseof how thick it is, but it's
not going to be super rigid.
So if this is a sensation thatyou're not really sure about,
having something that is softand squishy is still going to do

(27:30):
the job.
But it's not going to be asevere sensation like some ball
stretchers that are made out ofhard silicone.
Are there even some that aremade out of plastic or metal.
So using a squishy materialfirst to sort of see how you
like it, it's still going to dothat job of keeping the balls
pulled away from the body, ofgiving that sensation of

(27:53):
stretching.
These come in all differentsizes, like there are ones that
are like this.
One, comparatively, is decentlythin despite the fact that it's
just under an inch, but thereare ones that are a couple of
inches long.
There are ones that havetethers to them, ones that have
weights again anything to sortof pull the balls away from the

(28:15):
body to give that sensation.
There are folks that alsostretch their balls.
Over time They'll sort of usethis as a way to stretch the
skin, almost like folks thatstretch their earlobes.
Again, comparing things toearlobes, anybody that's
listening with an ear fetishright now, you're welcome.

(28:36):
So, ball stretching there'salso ball stretchers that are
separators.
So what I'm holding in my handright now almost looks like a
triple cock ring.
So there is the ring up top.
Again, wearing this like a cockring, you could put this at the
base of the cock.
Some people like to wear it alittle bit further up on the
cock so that the balls arepulled towards the head of the

(28:59):
cock.
So you get stretching not onlydownwards but forwards as well,
adding that extra sensation.
This one has two loops, so youactually individually put each
testicle through each loop.
So not only is it stretching itdown away from the body, but
it's also separating thosetesticles, so you get the

(29:20):
stretch of the scrotal skin andthe testicles themselves.
Again, a really, really simpletool.
It's nothing intimidating.
This is again just a piece ofsilicone that's split into three
sort of compartments, but thesensation that it provides is
really intense because of howdelicate that area is.

(29:42):
So, even though this may notlook like a heavy CDT device for
you, it might feel like it,just depending on how your body
reacts to those sensations.

Yeah, you're going to want to go check those
out.
That looks like a greatintroduction to getting involved
with the balls and stretchingthem and they aren't
intimidating devices and I lovethat.
Again, you're going to want togo and check this out on YouTube
because you'll see that theyare very stretchy.

(30:16):
If you just kind of looked atthem on a website to buy, they
would look very small and you'dbe like how the hell would I get
that over a cock or balls bet.
But you can see in thedemonstration that it is very
soft and stretchy and would be agreat way to start dipping your
toe in the water of the cockand ball stretching.

Lisa Finn (30:38):
So yeah, and even then the pressure is something
that a lot of people find hotabout this.
Super simple you could just gowith a cock ring and that could
be a CDT tool, a tighter cockring.
So I have here in my hands thisis called the ahoy and it's a
little bit less stretchy thanother cock rings and a little

(30:59):
bit more thick than other cockrings, so you can really feel
pressure with this one.
I also love this one becauseit's super affordable I think
it's like 15 bucks.
So you can wear this on the tiptowards the head if you want to
put pressure towards the headof the penis, towards the back.
If you want to wear it like aregular cock ring, you can slip

(31:21):
the balls through, get creativewith where you put this, because
that sensation of pressure iswhat you would sort of be
looking for by using a tool likethis.
So your cock rings.
Talking about safety again,your cock rings, you want them
to be snug.
You know, even if we're nottalking about CBT, you want your

(31:43):
cock ring to be snug so that itworks, so that it helps trap
that blood flow, but you don'twant it to cut off the
circulation.
Even if you are playing withCBT.
You do not want to cut off thecirculation to your dick,
especially not for prolongedperiods of time.
So, keeping in mind snug tighteven, but not cutting off your

(32:07):
circulation.
We want constriction, notdestruction, if you will.

Right.
No, don't destroy it becauseyou're going to want to torture
it again, right.

Lisa Finn (32:17):
Yeah, that would be like the end, all be all.
It's like, oh, I like the ideaof castration.
Well, you do it once.

That's it.
It's all over, right.
So now you have the cock andball stretched.
What comes next?

Lisa Finn (32:35):
Yeah.
So from there you can, like Isaid, sort of like tug at it,
add weight or add sensation fromthere.
So you've got yourself in thesedevices.
The balls are being pulled awayfrom the body, so you already
have that sensation.
This is where you can add inother sensations on top of it
the squeezing, the pressing, theusing and impact, joy, the

(32:59):
adding in some hot wax, if youwant the psychological aspect of
it, telling someone how theylook in it.
You know whether we'reincorporating praise here and
being nice or we're gettingdegrading with it.
Telling them maybe they have adegradation thing around the

(33:20):
size of their penis, maybe theyhave a degradation thing about
how their balls look, usingwhatever language it is.
That is part of the dynamicthat you've discussed beforehand
.
Wearing that for a prolongedperiod of time.
Again, if you have somethingthat's softer, as long as it's
not like cutting off anycirculation, you can wear that

(33:43):
for as long as you'd like.
That can be.
You know, and when I say thatI'm talking about one of the
softer ones you don't want tokeep yourself in a tight cock
ring for longer than, like I'dsay, 20 minutes at a time.
If you're starting off evenshorter, you want to make sure
that you're being careful Again.

(34:03):
Your genitals are sensitive,they are delicate, but from
there you can incorporate othertypes of sensation.
These can sort of beaccessories, if you will, if you
just like sort of the aestheticof it or that could be the main
course of your CVT is that ballstretching into it?

What about a man who has had a vasectomy?
Will that change how you treatthe balls?
Does it change the sensation oris it the same either way?

Lisa Finn (34:39):
So the sensation is very much so, with all the nerve
endings.
So you're still going to haveall those nerve endings there
after a vasectomy.
But you do want to be a littlebit more cautious, especially if
they've had the vasectomy morerecently, because there are
stitches in there that you don'twant to undo.
You don't want to put pressureon something that's healing.
But overall, the sensationsyou'll still be able to feel

(35:02):
everything.
You'll still be able toexperience this and enjoy this,
if it is for you.

OK, all right .
So overall, it doesn't takeaway from once healed, it
doesn't take away from theenjoyment of CBT.
So, moving into moreintermediate, we've stretched
the balls, we put the stretcheron, we've learned.
Maybe we've gotten the crop andslapped the cock around a

(35:30):
little bit.
It sounds super fun.
What are some additional tools?
Sensations?
I assume we can bring inrestraints, because in my mind
the person's already restrained,although that, apparent,
probably doesn't need to be thecase.
Just in my imagination that'swhat's happening.

Lisa Finn (35:49):
Oh yeah, you can absolutely restrain the person.
You can also tie up the cock.
So you do want to make surethat you are using something
thinner, so usually bonded rope.
It is a little bit thicker, butusing something that is thinner
, maybe like a shoelace, couldbe a good place to start.

(36:10):
Or using something that's super, super easy to untie A tie like
a neck tie or a silk tie thatcould be something that could be
great to restrain because it'ssoft.
You have a little bit of give toit.
Also, just the look and feel ofit Silk could be really, really

(36:30):
hot.
There are a lot of folks thatenjoy the sensation of silk, so
much so that it is a fetish.
For other people it's just silk.
Lingerie could be really hot.
But wrapping the cock not evennecessarily tying, so just
almost like you're mummifyingthe cock so this will be really

(36:51):
easy to come undone afterwardsbecause you could just spiral it
out or slip out the cock.
But you can add a lot ofpressure just when you're
putting it on, just feeding itaround the cock.
You can also go ahead and put avibrator in there.
So maybe you want to put a highpowered vibrator against the

(37:14):
phrenulum, which is supersensitive.
So for folks that don't knowwhere the phrenulum is, that are
listening, it is a hotspotright on the underside of the
penis, where the crown of thepenis, where the head meets the
shaft.
So it is a little bit ofwebbing.
If you are someone that iscircumcised, that piece of

(37:35):
webbing might have been cut offduring circumcision.
But it's not the webbing itself,it's the nerve endings that are
underneath it.
So even if you don't have thatbit of webbing, the phrenulum
can still be super sensitive.
So maybe tying a super strongvibrator to that super sensitive
area and using that as a formof overstimulation.

(37:56):
Bondage tape is also reallygood here because it only sticks
to itself, which is nice, butit can give that look and that
feel of being bound by somethingthat is unable to be gotten out
of.
It looks like duct tape, whichcould be really hot, especially

(38:18):
if you're integrating any sortof captive play or something
like that.
If you are a person with alatex fetish as well, it kind of
looks latex-y.

Oh, you should see this, guys.
So I am not familiar withbondage tape.
I don't know why I'm not.
It is super sexy.
And you're saying that itdoesn't stick to the skin.

Lisa Finn (38:41):
No, yeah, it just sticks to itself.
So I'm kind of hard to do thiswith.
So I am Italian, so I have adecent amount of hair on my arms
, but you could see it'ssticking to itself.
So I'm tugging at it and it'snot coming loose, but when I
take it off it just falls rightoff my skin.
So bondage tape?

(39:03):
It straight up looks like aroll of electrical tape or a
roll of duct tape, but it ismade out of a type of PVC so it
only adheres to itself and youcan reuse it, which is nice.
You can see mine.
I've undone it and redone it abunch of times, so it's a little
bit wrinkly but it still willstick to itself for however long

(39:26):
you want.
I also really like bondage tapefor anything, because you can
use it anywhere on the body.
You can use it as a blindfold.
You can use it for a long timeAgain, sort of like wrapping
somebody's entire body.
You can use it as fetish wear.
I've worn bondage tape as likea bra, almost to go to a party.
The only place that you don'twant to put bondage tape is over

(39:47):
your mouth, because it can sortof get stuck there almost like
a plastic bag.
So you don't want to use thatas a gag for a way to sort of
suppress anybody's breathing.
But yeah, bondage tape on a cockcould be really good,
especially if you are a littlebit weary about getting it off.

(40:08):
Bondage tape is easy to rip, soyou can get out of that pretty
quickly, whereas if you areusing rope, if you're tying
knots, don't do a square knot ora hitch knot or whatever fancy
knots that you learned bondageon other parts of the body.
Just do like a grandma knot orlike a bunny ear knot, like

(40:29):
you're tying your shoelaces, sothat you can get out of it very
easily, because you don't havethe same ability, like with
other parts of the body, to graba pair of safety scissors and
cut it off, because you don'twant to accidentally cut the
cock, especially if the personbecomes flaccid.
It's a whole big to do.
So if you are playing withbondage on the cock and you

(40:52):
don't have that experience yet,go for a silk tie, go for a
shoelace and do a little grandmaknot that you can easily just
pull to get out of.
Use some bondage tape, dosomething that you could get out
of pretty easily.
So, yeah, bondage on the cock onthe balls as well, again,
wrapping them, putting thatsensation of tightening them

(41:14):
together.
There's actually this as wellthis is called a bull bag, so it
almost looks like a littlepouch, which I mean.
It is a little pouch made outof a stretchy silicone that you
put your balls in and it's goingto weigh them down.

(41:34):
So this is also sort of like aball stretching thing, but it's
also a constriction thing.
So you have your balls insidethis and you can feel the
pressure of the little pouchsort of holding in your balls
together.
So that is a bull bag.

That's hot.
Yeah, that's new to me.
Like I'm just like I thought Iknew a lot and I don't know shit
.
That's what I'm realizing rightnow.

Lisa Finn (42:05):
Yeah, there are so many tools and these are.
These are tools that arespecifically designed with CBT
in mind Something like a ballspreader, something like a ball
bag, but any sort of BDSM device.
You can get creative with it,you know, like bondage, like
using a crop you were talkingabout Loctober.

(42:27):
Another form would be achastity cage.
So some people will argue that,like, chastity doesn't belong
in CBT.
I will argue against them andsay let people do what they want
, but with a chastity cage inthe realm of CBT, we're talking

(42:51):
about either taking somethingaway from them so again bringing
it back into the morepsychological aspect of it, as
is what to happen with chastityor compression.
So, especially if someone getsan erection while they are in
chastity, they're going to feelthat pressure against the cock,
against the balls.

(43:12):
The one that I have here is madeout of a silicone blend, so
it's actually it's prettysquishy, so you do have room in
this, but it is still going tokeep the cock down.
So the one that I'm holding upis made out of silicone.
It's got the little space forthe balls to go through.
It's also got a hole at the tipfor if someone is going to come

(43:35):
, or maybe, if you want toincorporate some urethral play
as well.
But another reason why I likesoft chastity cages is because
you can still add more sensationoutside of it.
So you can have somebody inthis chastity cage and still put
pressure against the cock, youcan still slap it, you can put

(43:56):
vibration against it and they'regoing to be able to feel
everything despite the fact thatthey're still having their
erection held down, that they'restill having that compress
Chastity.
Also, if we are using somethingthat's not squishy, if we're
using something that is made outof metal or a hard plastic,
again that compression is goingto be part of that play.

(44:16):
That's hot.

So I will say one thing I've learned about
myself is I love the look of acock and a cock cage.
It's like one of just thehottest things that I've ever
seen.
I had no idea that I would findit.
For me it's like lingerie on apenis owning person and I don't

(44:44):
want to stray off topic, whichis cock and ball torture.
But I'm curious about yourthoughts on one of the
challenges with cock cages I'vefound is finding the right size.
Do you think starting withsomething that's soft like that
offers that kind of benefit?

Lisa Finn (45:01):
Yeah, absolutely Especially because it does have
that stretch to it.
If you put it on and you'relike, oh, this is a little bit
too loose for me or oh, Irealized that I have to stretch
this.
The great thing about cockcages is that they will almost
all have the measurements onthem, and it's one thing to
measure your own cock.
It's a little bit harder to doit when you're flaccid.

(45:21):
It's another thing to actuallysee how it feels on the body,
just like you know, for folksthat go broad shopping.
Right, you could know your size, but sometimes the cup's a
little bit too big, sometimesthe strap's a little bit too
tight.
It's going to be the same thingwith a cock cage, because you
have to consider the openingitself, the shaft length If you

(45:42):
are someone with, like, amushroom tip where your head's a
little bit bigger than yourshaft, keeping all these things
in consideration when you'reshopping, definitely starting
off with a soft cage to see howit feels, although you can't
lock this up.
So Locktober has to be more ofan idea or a fantasy or, you

(46:03):
know, you could put a lock onthis.
It's not going to be effective,but maybe just for the look.
For the look, yeah.
So can we talk a little bit?

about urethral play.
First of all, I'm going toassume that urethral play is
something that you need to liketake a class in before you do.
I don't know, can you talk tome?
I don't know.
Can you talk to me about that?

Lisa Finn (46:27):
I would definitely, definitely suggest taking some
form of class first.
There are professional doms,dominatrixes, that will host
these classes.
A lot of them do it virtuallyvery convenient, but you want to
make sure that you know whatyou're doing.
You want to make sure that youare starting small and starting

(46:50):
slow.
So even if the idea of, let'ssay, we're talking about
sounding right, the idea ofputting in like a very large
capitol, that's something thatyou're like, ooh, that looks so
good to me, still start small.
There are sounding kits thatwill have ranges of sizes of
sounders.
So, again, these are littlerods that are rounded on both

(47:15):
ends, usually made out of metal,that you would use to insert
urethrally.
You also want to make sure thatyou are playing very, very
sterile.
So hands are washed, tools arewashed.
Maybe we're using nitrile orlatex gloves to make sure that
everything stays nice andsterile, because this is going

(47:36):
into the body.
This is going into a verysensitive and delicate part of
the body.
So taking your time with it,using a little bit of lubricant
if you need to and making surethat you pee afterwards.
If there is a huge tip that I'mgoing to give for folks that
want to get into sounding, it'smake sure that you pee

(47:57):
afterwards.
But you definitely don't wantto hop into this without having
that training or at leastreading up on it.
It's not something that youwant to dive into without
knowing.
A lot of folks that get intosounding are interested in it
because maybe they've had thatmedical experience whether they

(48:20):
are someone in the medical fieldor they've had a catheter put
in for some reason before sosort of having that experience.
If it is something that maybeyou have experienced outside of
the kink world, that experienceis great to have under your belt
.
No pun intended, but definitelydo some reading.

(48:40):
There are a lot of dangers thatcould come with it.
On the same realm piercing.
So piercing even more sobecause we're actually putting
something through the skin.
We're actually doing somethingthat could draw blood, making
sure really, really sterile.
You know what you're doing.
You're aware of where majornerve endings are.

(49:03):
You're aware of where it needsto be placed on the body.
These are all things that youshould take your time with first
, and also don't learn how to dothese things when you're
already, like in the bedroom.
Things are already going.
You want to take the time to doyour research beforehand
because if you are horny andyou're just like, all right, got

(49:24):
to learn it now, you'reprobably not going to retain
everything that you need to Doyour prep, learn your stuff,
prep your tools, make sure thateverything is clean, sanitary,
ready to go.
Start slow, start small.
Can we talk about somewhere?

between intro where just stretching some
balls and slapping them a littlebit and piercing them, the in
between, do you have any toysproducts approaches you would
suggest for someone who's likeall right, I already know I'm
into this and my partner is intoit, but we've kind of just been

(50:05):
doing one-on-one stuff and wewant to up the level, but then
what we see out there is peopledoing some crazy stuff and we're
not ready for that.
So the in between thoughtssuggestions.

Lisa Finn (50:18):
Yeah, nipple clamps or clothespins, that is
something that is super popular.
It has that look to it as well.
So this is also something thatyou can add slowly to it,
whether adding slowly is to beable to again gauge that level
of pain, gauge where thattolerance level is, or just sort

(50:39):
of teasing someone, just slowlyadding a pin or a clamp as you
go, and then you can absolutelycover the entire cognitive.
Remember I was talking tosomeone once who said that she
had made her partner's cock looklike a blooming onion from
Outback's Steakhouse because itwas just all rows and rows and

(51:02):
rows of clothespins juststicking out from it.
So that could be a way to playwith a more intense sensation.
Wax play is another one,temperature play so maybe like
running an ice cube up and downthe cock before adding another
sort of sensation to itElectrosim, another thing that

(51:24):
you want to.
You want to do your researchahead of time.
So using a tens unit on thecock or on the balls for a lot
of people, using Electrosim onthe head of the penis, on the
glands of the penis, because itis so, so sensitive, there's so
many nerve endings up there.
You, there are Eastam devicesthat you can actually buy that

(51:46):
are particularly for the cock.

There are Eastam cock cages, there are
Eastam strokeers, will you takea moment to describe what Eastam
is for my list?

Lisa Finn (51:58):
Yeah, so Eastam is electro stimulation, so it's
actually Putting Electropulses,so like tiny little shocks, into
the system.
So the device that I referredto earlier at tens unit, it has
these little Pads that conductthe electricity, that they have
the electricity go through.

(52:19):
So you adhere these pads to thebody and then you turn on the
device and you're going to beable to feel that Very light
electrocution.
It's not electrocution likeyou've stuck a fork in an outlet
.
It is a buzzy, tingly sensationthat you can increase.
So tens units are actually usedmedically to stimulate muscle

(52:42):
growth.
I actually am using onemedically right now.
It was funny when they gave itto me I was like I know how to
use this, thanks.
But it engages all thosemuscles, it lights up all of
those nerve endings.
So, using electrostim and thenfollowing up with something else
.
So, again, starting with thatintense stimulation and then

(53:04):
moving to something likesqueezing, pinching, slapping,
whatever it is that you want toget into.
The same thing with temperature, right, using hot wax or
running an ice cube up and downthe shaft or on the balls, and
then adding that extra sensation.
What you're doing is you'reigniting all those nerve endings
, right, you're getting themready.
You're getting them prepared,you're getting all of that blood

(53:26):
flow rushed to the area so thatevery single sensation is gonna
feel more intense.

Does any of this end with sex and orgasm?

Lisa Finn (53:37):
Oh, absolutely.
There are plenty of people thatcan get off just from CBT play.
Now, mind you, some CBT playdoes restrict erection or Could
cause erection to just nothappen, but you can still have
an orgasm without an erection.
But you can also use this as aform of foreplay.

(54:01):
For sure, you can keep yourselfin a ball stretcher while
having penetrative sex.
You can be wearing a cock ringwhile having penetrative sex.
You could be doing something toover stimulate yourself.
So Maybe having a partner uselike a powerful vibrator.

(54:21):
So I'm holding up a magic wandmini right now, holding a
powerful vibrator against theperineum while you're doing
other activities IncorporatingCBT, with a blowjob or a handjob
, you can really use this at anypoint in your play.
It could be the main course, itcould be an appetizer, it could
be the dessert, but again Withthe understanding that some of

(54:47):
these activities will restrictthe ability for someone to get
or maintain an erection.

All right, all right, all right.
Do you have any sort of finalSuggestions, comments, tidbits
of information you want to givelisteners who are here to find
out about CBT?

Lisa Finn (55:10):
Yeah, do not be afraid to get taboo with it, as
long as you're playing safely.
You know I have my box of toolsover here and I just keep on
looking at one of them that Ididn't bring up, which is my own
shoe.
You know, thinking about thingslike having somebody step on

(55:30):
you, so getting creative with it, understanding risks,
understanding that.
You know there there are goingto be risks with a lot of
different BDSM acts, especiallyif it's sadomasochism, because
that pain for pleasure, pain, isobviously our body's way of
letting us know that somethingisn't right.
Even you know, if we'reconsenting to it, we want to

(55:53):
know those, those levels.
But, um, you know, whateverfeels good and right for you,
you can still call it CBT.
If it's just someone you knowsort of scratching your shaft
with their nails For somebody,they may think like, oh no,
that's, that's vanilla as hell.
If that feels like CBT to you,if that feels like that intense

(56:14):
sensation, if it makes you feellike that's a form of torment or
torture or that intense play,then that counts.
If you are someone that's doingurethral sounding while wearing
a tens unit, while havingsomeone you know Call you names,
that's also CBT.
Don't feel like these differentways to participate.

(56:37):
Come in any sort of level,wherever you feel good doing it,
that's enough.
Don't feel like you're, youknow, not able to handle
whatever, because it's not aboutthat.
It's about what makes you feelgood.
Do you have any favorite toys?

you want to share with us.
Like your, your like faves.

Lisa Finn (57:01):
Um, I Love this one.
So what I'm holding right nowis a bullet vibrator.
This is the we vibe tango x,and the reason why I love this
one so much is because it coulddo so many different things.
I showed this before, when Iwas Binding the cock and putting
a really powerful vibratoragainst it, using this against

(57:23):
the head of a penis, using thison a clitoris, using this on
nipples.
I think that everyone shouldhave a good bullet vibrator in
their artillery, no matter whatyour kink, no matter what you're
into, because you could getreally creative with something
this simple.
So this is this is my uh, youknow top recommendation.

(57:44):
For someone that's just like Ijust want a tool, this would be
it.
Well, that lube, but right lube.

Always, always, have lube.
Briefly, before we move intohow someone brings this
conversation to their partnerAftercare can you throw down
some?
I mean, aftercare is soimportant and I don't always do
the best job at the end of myconversations of going back to
aftercare.
It's something in our societythat's definitely not Promoted

(58:15):
enough.
But especially after and andaftercare should be, in my
opinion, after any sort ofIntimate certainly BDSM activity
.
Can you give some advice onsome aftercare for, specifically
, cbt and even things you shouldhave on hand just in case in

(58:35):
the aftercare experience?

Lisa Finn (58:40):
Absolutely so.
Ask your partner what they mayneed afterwards If they don't
know.
You know a lot of people thinklike aftercare, like, oh, you
know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna needa massage, I'm gonna need
someone to bring me a Gatorade,I'm gonna need, you know, an ice
pack, whatever it is.
These are all things that couldbe great for aftercare, but it

(59:03):
could also be as simple as doyou need to be left alone for a
little bit afterwards?
Do you need to make sure thatI'm there for you?
If maybe we were doingsomething that had some intense
emotions going on, so maybe Ihave just been absolutely
degrading the hell out of youfor the past hour Do you now
need me to hold you and give youpraise and remind you that I

(59:25):
don't actually feel those thingstowards you?
That it's part of this roleplay.
Do you need soft touch to comeback down and this is something
that I like to remind folks thataftercare is not just for your
bottom.
If your top has been like usinga flogger or something and
going and going and going, maybethey need their shoulder rubbed

(59:48):
.
Maybe they need to be told thatthey did a good job.
So taking your time to knowwhat you need your environment
to look like, what you need yourpartnership to look like, so
what you need that dynamic tocome back to, and then the
physical aspects of it.
So, after you get up to pee, doyou need an ice pack?
Do you need to lay down?

(01:00:12):
Maybe take a while before youput on your ice pack.
Or do you need to lay down,maybe take a while before you
put on pants or anything that'srestrictive?
Maybe let your body come backto being able to spread out,
especially if you've been inchastity or you've been doing a

(01:00:32):
lot of constriction play Likeallowing your body the time to
not go back into something thatcan compress it again.
Allowing yourself the time tomake sure that any and all
sensation is coming back the waythat it should.
Pain killers after a sessionagain, give yourself the time to

(01:00:53):
make sure that you can feeleverything.
Don't take pain killers beforea session, because we're talking
about you want to make surethat your pain receptors are on,
that you could pay attentionand listen to your body.
Hydration as well.
After we do something intense,especially with all that
adrenaline and everything goingthrough our system, even if we
were just weighing there andtaking it, keeping hydrated can

(01:01:16):
be really important to make surethat our body is able to
rebalance itself out.
We're able to regroundourselves as well.

Annette Benedetti (01:01:23):
What are some red flags or warning signs in
your aftercare where you mightbe like oh, perhaps this is,
perhaps something went too far,maybe we should go see a doctor.

Lisa Finn (01:01:41):
Discoloration.
So looking out fordiscoloration, looking out for
not having sensation coming backright away.
If you were doing ball play inwhich both of the balls were
getting the same amount ofattention, but you're noticing
unilateral pains, you're onlynoticing pain on one side of the

(01:02:03):
balls, like only one testicle,that is something that could be
a red flag, because you may haveexperienced testicular torsion
or you may have had a little bittoo much compression on one.
If you notice that there's anybleeding or bruising or anything
like that, it happens,especially if you're doing any

(01:02:24):
sort of cutting, piercing,impact play, but watching how
those heal.
So this is not just like, okay,we're in the bed afterwards,
I'm talking like couple daysdown the line, watching how they
heal, watching how you feel thenext time that you get an
erection.
Do you notice that there ispain that wasn't there before?
So this is also a little bit ofa long game.

(01:02:45):
You want to make sure thatyou're paying attention to your
body signs, not just rightafterwards but as you sort of
continue on with your life.

So a good question is then is there a
frequency with which this shouldbe done?
So is it okay to do this everynight, or do you need to allow
the body to heal in between?
What are your thoughts on that?

Lisa Finn (01:03:10):
So there are people that will absolutely argue with
me on this.
But if you are doing somethingthat's a little bit more intense
, if you are doing somethinglike heavy restriction, if you
are doing something likesounding like impact play, I
always think that it's good togive yourself a little bit of a

(01:03:31):
break to allow your body to comeback down to it.
It's like going to the gym.
Right, there are people that goto the gym for three hours a
day, but there are people thatare like no, you need your rest
day.
You need your body to have thatmoment to come back down to
that, whatever your normal sortof existence is, whatever your

(01:03:52):
plateau, if you will.
So there are people who will belike no, I can go into chastity
every single night and I canhave my ball slapped every
single night and I'm totallyfine.
Cool, that's you.
You understand your risks, youknow your body.
Fantastic, if you are justgetting into this, Pace yourself
.
Rest day from the gym.

Yeah, time to recover and see how your body
bounces back and what itshealing time is.
It just makes sense for me, andI would argue that people that
don't take a rest day when theygo to the gym are risking some
serious injury.

Lisa Finn (01:04:28):
But yeah, you want to know that those muscles are
healing correctly.
You want to know that it's nottwo days down the line and I
didn't notice that this onebruise hasn't gone away in the
way that it should, because Ijust keep on getting new ones,
right?

Right, good advice Now for the listener
who's like I am ready to do this.
I want to do this, but Ihaven't begun the conversation
with my partner, and it's a hardone to bring up to someone,
particularly if they're fairlyvanilla.
What are your thoughts oninitiating the conversation

(01:05:04):
around honey?
I'm ready for you to torture myballs or like so, for instance.
In my case, obviously, I'vediscovered I'm kind of into some
of the opposite end.
Slap it around some cocks.
How do you start thatconversation without totally
freaking your partner out?

Lisa Finn (01:05:25):
Yeah.
So I love to sort of start withsomething that you know and see
about adding to it.
So, if you are a person thatregularly gives blowjobs or
regularly gets blowjobs, askyour partner hey, how would you

(01:05:45):
feel if I, or how would you feelif you integrated a little bit
more teeth into your blowjob?
Right, like, I kind of like theidea of you being a little bit
more rough with me down there,maybe with a handjob being like,
hey, like, would you trysqueezing my balls a little bit,
see how that feels.
Again, these are sort ofstepping stones into CBT and

(01:06:10):
then taking it from there,gauging like, did I like how
that felt?
Did they like how that felt?
And adding a little bit more ata time.
You know, have we tried bondagealready?
Do we know how to do that?
Can I ask someone how theywould feel about maybe wrapping
a necktie around my cock oraround my balls From there, if

(01:06:33):
you are ready to sort of like,take a leap into something even
more intense, there is awonderful tool called a yes, no,
maybe list.
We have a free one on ourwebsite, so it's at babe landcom
backslash yes, no, maybe, andyou can print it out.
That list is pretty and againair quotes here basic, it just

(01:06:53):
has a couple of ideas on it, butyou can add as many as you'd
like.
The idea with a yes, no, maybelist is that you have three
columns yes, no and maybe.
So your yes column is going tobe yes, willing, as in.
I haven't tried this before,but I really want to give it a
shot.
Yes into so.
I have tried this before and Iwant to do it again.
Maybe.
I'm not sure I'd consider it orno, which is this is a limit,

(01:07:18):
this is a boundary.
I don't want to do it.
You and your partner will eachget one of these lists and then
you go far away from one anotherand you fill it out.
The reason why you don't wantto fill it out together is
because you are filling it outby you and for you.
This is just about you, yourdesires, your boundaries, and
then your partner will come backand you'll compare your lists.

(01:07:42):
Having a list that already hasCVT mentioned on it, or editing
it and making your own andincluding that could be a really
good way to make sure that itgets mentioned on the list.
You want to make sure that yougo through all the ideas there
and maybe add your own.
But it could be a really goodway to break the ice to say, oh,

(01:08:03):
I have this on my column andyou also had it on your column.
How do you feel about givingthat a go tonight?
Maybe it was on their no columnand, although we have to respect
boundaries, maybe their idea ofCVT was sounding and burning
and piercing.
You could say, oh, I noticedthat CVT is on your no list.

(01:08:27):
Could you let me know whatthose boundaries look like for
you?
Because, again, you don't wantto push anybody past what they
want to do.
You don't want to try to coerceor convince somebody.
But with something this broadsort of getting a spectrum there
but yes, no, maybe list, that'sa great way to facilitate any
sort of conversation around a.
I want to try this but I don'tknow how to bring it up.

Yeah, I love that there are so many people
that reach out to me after theylisten to a podcast and the
number one question I get, orcomment I get, is I really want
to do this thing, but I'm justso afraid to ask my partner and
I would wager to bet most of ushaven't even done a yes, no,

(01:09:11):
maybe list with our partnerswhen it comes to our intimate
life.
Even if you think you're justvanilla, it's still a good place
to start right With.
What all do I like?
What do you like?
So of course, I'm going to havean accompanying article in the
description of this podcastthat's going to have the link to

(01:09:33):
the yes, no, maybe list to toysuggestions that you have given
us here, and hopefully I'll getsome more out of you after this
podcast.
So, listeners, you're going towant to scroll down and check
that out.
At this point, I guess howabout you tell my listeners

(01:09:54):
where they can find out moreabout you, where they can
connect with you, beyblend, anyother place that might help
facilitate the journey into cockand ball torture?

Lisa Finn (01:10:07):
Absolutely.
So you can find me at Beyblend.
So Beyblendcom is our website.
If you are on social media, weare at Beyblend underscore toys.
So if you are Instagram or onTwitter, you will see I often
get tagged in the pieces that goup on there.

(01:10:28):
The only reason why I don'tpromote my personal social
medias is that, unless you havea food fetish, you're not really
going to be interested in whatI have to post, because it's
mainly just a what I ate todayand also pictures of my dog.
But we have locations in NewYork and in Seattle.
So we've got a location in ParkSlope in Brooklyn, one on the

(01:10:50):
Lower East Side in Manhattan.
We have another Brooklynlocation that actually is going
to be opening up in the nextcouple of weeks We'll be
announcing that shortly and thenin Capitol Hill, seattle.
The great thing about any ofthe Beyblend locations is that
everyone that works there is atrained sex educator with
different topics, like somethinglike CDT.

(01:11:11):
We have a lot of books as well.
So even if there is you know,there's not a staffer that can
speak to this on a level thatyou want to learn about we do
have those resources availablefor you and, yeah, that is where
you can find me.

Excellent, excellent, thank you, and
Beyblend is also online.
You can order.

Lisa Finn (01:11:31):
You can shop it online.

So just so, people, you can go to the store
if you want to, or check it outonline.

Lisa Finn (01:11:39):
Well, thank you for I will say our website does have
a lot more of the cock and balldevices available online.
We have a whole cock and ballsection.

There is a whole cock and ball section.
I'm going to be checking it out.
So thank you for joining me.
Are you ready?
I'm ready for my shot now.
I've been drinking coffee andI'm ready for some vodka, here
we go.

Lisa Finn (01:12:01):
Cheers, cheers to CBT .

And the snorks.
I'll see you in the luck room.
Ring loop.

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C*ck & Ball Torture (CBT): Everything You Need to Know

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