#136 - Ireland Parsons - The ONE Mistake Everyone Makes In Their 20's - Long Term Podcast

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the long term podcast.
Ireland, Ireland Parsons everyone.
Oh my. Gosh, it's recording me.
Yeah, yeah. This is it.
This is it. Hey.
So what was 1 unexpected cultureshock you experienced during
your time abroad and how did youadapt to it?
Well, one culture shock would probably be when I went to

(00:21):
Greece for the first time. It was really scary.
So I was 19 when I went and whenI got there I found that just
the pace of life was so different than anything here.
What do you? Mean like pace like.
It was so everything was just slow motion basically.
And a part of it was great. Like I loved the fact that

(00:44):
everything was very laid back. People were, you know, living
life, going to the beach. But coming from Canada where
everything is, you have your routine, you wake up, you go,
you have to be here on time, super strict.
It was it was difficult to adjust to that.
But like at the same time it was, it was that and the fact

(01:06):
that there was so much happeningat once.
I remember my first day when I walked outside everything the
like traffic, the people, the streets was just chaos.
I found everything was really busy and fast but also slow.
Like I don't know how to explainit well, I don't.
Know what you mean? Like, yes, there was a high

(01:29):
amount of traffic, but the people were more relaxed, but
they were just going with the flow, you know, versus here it's
more like wedge right between and like maybe there's less
traffic, but people are like in a hurry, like they're they're
late. Yeah, it was.
It was like chaos. But then everyone was super
chill about it. Like I felt, Oh my gosh, this is

(01:50):
happening. Like I remember witnessing
something on the street that wasreally just crazy and no one was
doing anything. Everyone was just going about
their day, kind of like, Oh yeah, that's an everyday thing.
Crazy. Like what was what was happening
on the street? Like a man was getting choked.
It was just like the most extreme thing.
And this was my first day. OK, I'm 19.

(02:12):
I remember I went to the receptionist because when I
first arrived, I had to be in a hotel for a week because my
apartment wasn't ready. And I went down and I said, hey,
I need some breakfast, where canI go to get something?
And she kind of directed me downthe street.
So I open the doors, I'm walkingand this is happening.

(02:33):
Like something's going down and no one's doing anything.
People are just kind of like going about like, this is
something that happens every day.
I mean, to be fair, the neighborhood I lived in was
really not a good neighborhood. You think of Greece and you
think the islands and the beaches, you know, blue skies.

(02:54):
But then there's Athens, Athens,which is a whole other side of
it. Even when I arrived my first
night, my cab driver said to me,are you going to be walking
alone like through here? And I, I said, yeah, I'm going
to university this, I'm doing a semester abroad.
And he said, you have to be so careful.
This is not somewhere you want to walk like alone as a woman.

(03:18):
And then he dropped me off. I remember very.
Ominous. You know, it was so bad.
I called my parents and I said, Oh my gosh, I can't be here.
I need to come home now. This place is not what I thought
it would be. Because to be fair, yeah, I
thought Greece. I thought Mamma Mia.
Yeah, I. Thought, OK, it's going to be,

(03:42):
yeah, fun party. I mean, it did.
It was amazing. But in that moment, there's like
two sides to it. So yeah, that was a huge culture
shock. Just the environment and seeing
things that you wouldn't really see walking around.
I mean, like, I'm from Sherwood Park.
I've been raised here, so like, really lucky to be around such

(04:02):
like a safe environment. And then living in Athens, like
right in the city, it was reallyscary at times, especially as a
woman, like walking like around alone at night and stuff.
You have to be so, so careful. I mean, that's here as well.
Like, I'm not going to walk around downtown alone.
But that was a huge culture shock and just, yeah, the pace

(04:24):
of life going back to that. I remember I was going to the
airport once and I checked the bus time three times.
I was like, this is the bus I'm getting on.
And when I went with my luggage,it was at 3:00 in the morning.
OK, My flight was at, I don't know, 6:00 AM.
So I was like, OK, I have to getto the bus stop.
I have to be here at this time. The bus just didn't show up half

(04:48):
the time. The transportation just wouldn't
come. And it was just like, that's
life, that's Greece. And I was so mad.
I had woken up, walked to the bus stop.
I'm in this like kind of scary neighborhood with my luggage
alone waiting for this bus. It's just, it's not coming.
It just didn't come. So stuff like that was really

(05:09):
difficult. It sounds stupid too, because
it's it's like small things thatI didn't think would be like a
huge thing. But at times it was nice because
it was really, you know, relaxed, but with the flow.
But other times it was kind of, Oh my gosh, I need this
organization. Like it's too much of this.
So a good in between, I think. And sometimes I would go to like

(05:32):
my class, I would show up, I'd be there on time.
Like, class starts at 8:00 AM OK, I'm getting up, making sure
like here, I'm there at like on time.
Then the professor strolls in 30minutes later.
People are coming in like 45 minutes.
It's like 945. I've been the only one in this

(05:53):
class. Yeah, People, you're looking
around. What's going on?
They just, yeah. What is this?
Wait, was class cancelled? So weird.
And then, yeah, there's the professor.
All right, here we go. I swear I thought going to
study, I was terrified of how difficult it would be, the
schooling and just the strictness of it.

(06:15):
When I got there, it was like here was way more strict and the
things that would happen as welljust in the school, like there
was one day. Sorry, I feel I'm like really?
Great. No, this is awesome.
Yeah, there was one day that there was a group chat with all

(06:35):
the international students, and they said don't come to class
today. And then they just sent a video.
And I remember opening it up andit was just this group of
people. And they were dressed all in
black clothing. And they were like throwing tear
gas in front of the school, likethis whole group.
Tear gas. Yeah, OK.

(06:57):
Like just, I don't even know. And then they were running
inside the school and it was just this video.
And then there were police and they said don't come, there's a
riot. Like this would happen every
couple of days at this university because in this
neighborhood it was happening. Wow, that sounds thrilling.
Maybe I should transfer? And so I saw it was like

(07:19):
attention students, if you have class, the university is blocked
off today because of this. And then I went into the video
and saw this. And there was one time even I
was getting my food because theyhad like a cafeteria and this
group of people came in and theyhad baseball bats and they were

(07:39):
like shattering glass in the school.
People were spray painting the walls.
I can't make this up. Like it was nothing I had ever
seen. So in that aspect, that was
probably the most difficult partto adjust to was just seeing
this because if that were to happen at like my university
here, you know, like police would, you're like that's that's

(08:04):
not happening. You're not spray painting the
wall and getting away with it. But there's just casually
someone doing this. I remember standing in line for
like my food and smelling like spray paint really strong and I
look over and someone's just gottheir hood up and on and then it
was. Like a student like they.

(08:24):
I have no idea, like they just did it and walked away and
nothing was done. Well the ramifications must have
been like pretty light for him to just not treat.
It as no one, it was an everydaything and there were posters
everywhere, like it was all in Greek.
So I never really knew what was going on, but it there was like
this one poster with an axe overit saying don't.

(08:45):
I don't know it was in Greek. But yeah, stuff happening, a lot
of protests. So that part, the safety part,
and then just like the yeah, nonchalant kind of go with the
flow. But at the same time, I don't
know. I love, I love the place.
So it was I, I kind of once I got past that part, it was, I

(09:07):
loved everything about it. And I kind of learned to go with
their, their vibe increase and the people were so, so kind.
So that was really nice and but it's, it's different for every
country. Like that was my situation when
I arrived in Athens, but then inAustria or other places I've

(09:28):
gone to, it's been like completely different just
because every country has its own, you know, culture and what
they do. And also that was a specific
part of Athens, like that city, that area was really like that.
But then you would go to the more kind of touristic areas of
the city and it was. Oh, wow.

(09:49):
So you're 19. You, you go to Greece, you're
starting university. Your first day, you see a man
getting choked out outside this store restaurant.
And then nobody's batting an eye.
They're just, like, looking about them, like, oh, this is
the normal thing. Throughout your university
semester, you're seeing people just running rampant, chaos,

(10:10):
just spray painting all the walls.
And you're just like, what is going on?
Yeah, you. You're horrified.
I wonder what they would think about Shard Park at Edmondson.
They'd be like, why are all these people so soft?
Right? Why are all these people so
nice? And that's when I was I migrated

(10:31):
to the to Canada when I was 9, originally from the Philippines
and I grew up around just a bunch of it was it was a dog eat
dog world. I mean, this is kids bullying
each other, being mean to each other, you know, pitting each
other. And then they'd go to the
washroom. That's always where the fights
happen because like the teacherswouldn't don't really go in

(10:53):
there. It's like really dirty, which is
actually another thing where I came to Canada and like, why are
their washrooms so clean? Why are they like, why is
everybody so nice? Why is, and I was like, anytime
somebody made a mistake or like couldn't hear me, they were
apologizing. I'm like, why are they saying

(11:14):
pardon, there's there's nothing to be sorry for?
And so here I was 9, I was wanting to dominate the school
and all I got was love and kind and they were very nice to the
Down syndrome kid, you know, andI was like, wow, like this is
awesome, right? But at the same time, I that
was, I was confused because the jokes were different.
The just like the books, like what kids did for fun, like

(11:36):
hockey, like why do people like skating around the rank, right?
Why, why is that a thing? But then over time, right, you
get to just see the value in it and over time you, you want to
connect with people and you get to see the norms, right?
You get to you make friends at certain classes and and then you
go about and see what's which restaurants are great and which,

(11:59):
you know, hobbies people take part in like, Oh, this is and
then you start getting into the friend groups and you get to see
kind of, Oh, that that person isthis.
And then you, you start going into all these different factions
within that country and it opensyour mind up that, oh, here I
was growing up in sure Park, right.

(12:21):
And then now I'm just like, there's so much things that I, I
just learned in the span of the year.
And what was what was that like for you?
Like navigating throughout like friends and just like being
independent. That's a big thing, right?
What was that like? Because this is the first time
you're just subjected in it likesubmerged and like you'd have no

(12:46):
experience ever prior to this say.
Yeah, no, I I had been to Europeonce when I was 15 with my
family, just on like a group trip.
But when I decided to go to Greece, I kind of a part of me
thought it wasn't going to happen because COVID was really
bad again and restrictions were coming back into place.
So I thought, Oh my gosh, this isn't going to work out.

(13:08):
So at least I tried. Like I can say I tried to go
abroad, but oh, COVID made it not possible.
I was terrified. I was also the like kid growing
up when sleepovers would happen or anything like that, I'd be
calling my mom at 3:00 in the morning, mom, like come pick me
up, I can't be here. How old were you?

(13:30):
Please don't. Please don't say 17 no but.
Kind of, no? Really.
I mean, I don't, I never like having sleepovers.
I would always miss like my family.
No, no, no, this was probably in, I don't know, I want to say
elementary, like, OK, I probablycould have had sleepover, but I

(13:51):
just wanted my own bed. That's fair.
But I'm a very like big homebodyin some ways.
So deciding to go and do this was kind of it was easy to
imagine it. A homebody that goes to Greece,
Austria. Well, that's the part where I
was like, I can't do this because yeah, I love.
I mean, that's The thing is like, I, I love being in my

(14:14):
comfort zone. I love my bed and my routine,
but I know that if I don't push myself and go and do these
things that I'm just going to stay and get comfortable in my
routine, which is great. Like I love living at home.
I love my family, We're very close, but it scares me as well
to just kind of go with the flowand keep that going forever

(14:37):
because it's so comfortable at 18, because I was 18 when I
decided and then I turned 19 right before leaving.
I was, you know, everything in my life was kind of crashing
down at once. So that helped me decide.
It helped me like go forward andbe like, OK, what have I got to
lose? Otherwise I don't think I would

(14:59):
have been able to do it because of that.
You know, I just, I need to staywith my, I need to stay at home.
Like there's no way I'm moving across the world right now.
But because of that, I just went.
And then being independent. Yeah, it was super difficult
from going from like, my family,living at home with my parents

(15:21):
and then having to deal with these situations on my own.
I mean, I still had them. There was like the time
difference. So I would be texting my dad at
3:00 in the morning here and say, Oh my gosh, the bus never
showed up. Like in the middle of the
street. He's like, get an Uber Ireland.
Like I was like, no, it's so expensive, I need to take the
bus. But it was so important that I

(15:45):
kind of created that independence.
I will admit though, coming backhome and then going again, it's
so easy for me to fall back intolike, oh, it's fine.
I'm living at home. Like not as independent, which
is why I really like going and doing it more and more because
each time I learn, OK, this is what I need to do to kind of

(16:06):
take care of myself. Even cooking, like when I went
the first time, I, I'm not a cook.
I mean, you know, I look up my Pinterest recipes, I try them
out, but I'm not like, I'm not Gordon Ramsay.
I'm not out here cooking. I try, but it's never, it's

(16:28):
never good. So that even stuff like that and
laundry, to be fair, my mom has done my laundry growing up.
I'm so grateful for her. But stuff like simple things
like that that you just learned to do when you leave home that I
really took for granted. So stuff like that, it really
helped. And then, yeah, just dealing
with stuff not working out and having to kind of sit there and

(16:52):
be be like, like mature and makea decision in that moment on
your own without having that support system around you.
It happened a lot travelling andjust stuff not going as planned.
Half the time when travelling, stuff just doesn't like flights
get cancelled, things come up. Like this past summer when I

(17:13):
went travelling with my best friend, we did like a volunteer
experience and it was the most chaotic thing I've ever
experienced in my life. And so we had to like, I mean, I
had her, so that was great. But yeah, I, I, I didn't know
what to do. So just small things like that,
I guess it really pushes you. It sounds stupid though, like

(17:34):
laundry, no? It's not like the little things
they add up to amalgamate to something great 'cause like that
laundry, 15 minutes there. Cooking.
Oh, 30 minutes if you want a meal prep all Yeah.
Like what am I going to eat today?
There's there's there's so many little things that do add up
that hey, like I need my car fixing, like my dad usually does
that for me, like you don't takethat into account.

(17:56):
And so this probably has opened up so much gratitude for you.
Hey, and I think that you know that those things that did
happen toppled. You said everything was chaotic,
everything was so you wanted to change and you saw that the way
things were going, living a comfortable life, too much

(18:18):
comfort is leading you to and not great situations and you're
not uncovering parts to yourself.
And so I think that's a, it's a great thing though, because had
it, those things not happen, then maybe you wouldn't have
taken the step to, to travel. You know what I mean?
Like I think there's, I've heardmany times of people that have

(18:38):
to change because they've hit rock bottom, right?
It's it's not to the point whereit's like there's people that
never change because they're in the middle of like, it's, it's
good. It's not that good, but it's
yeah, but it's also not that bad, right?

(19:00):
So you're in this like middle point, but then you're thrusted.
Yeah, yeah, it's comfortable. Then you're thrusted into this
like chaotic scene and you have to look in the mirror one day
and you go, I need to change something.
Or if I keep going down this path, it's going to lead to life
worth worth of misery. You know, it's not going to be,

(19:21):
not going to end up well. And so like what the way I do it
is I, I do some reflection, I go, OK, what I, what do I want
to do right now? Right?
Not not because of what people say, not because of what my
family says. Yes, I do love them.
But like, what do I want out of my life?

(19:43):
You know, and it's like, oh, I've always wanted to travel and
what are the excuses that I have?
Oh, it's like the family, I'll miss them.
Comfort, right? Like the airports, like really
chaotic. So I just want to.
But then what are the upsides? OK, I get to experience a
different culture. I get to unravel different parts
of myself. I get to witness growth.

(20:07):
Within just like the culture andknowledge and I get to I get to
do something that's true to me, right, versus I think a lot of
people spend so much time just going, oh, what would my dad do?
You know what, what would make him happy?
Or what would my friends think of me in a higher regard?

(20:31):
You know, and it's like all about like taking that step, no
matter how scary it is, because like truly, you only grow in the
discomfort. Exactly.
Yeah, you have to have that likesomeone pushing you, literally
pushing you to like forcing yourself to meet people.
Like if I don't introduce myselfto this person today, I'm not

(20:53):
going to like meet anyone on this exchange or something.
Yeah, like that. Oh, if I don't do this, like
this won't happen. And holding yourself back.
And also that's like I've I lived with anxiety for so long
that it's held me back from doing so much.
What's it like for you? It sucks.

(21:14):
It sucks. Especially growing up.
I mean, I used to be like when Ilook back when I was younger, I
was, so I was just having a goodtime, enjoying life.
And then something switched. I don't know, it's like I turned
18 or something and everything around me was the most scary
thing ever. Like even just I used to have

(21:35):
like panic attacks about going in for random appointments.
Like I'd be in my car going, OK when I go in, how am I going to
interact with this person? Hi, I'm here for this
appointment at this time. Like simple stuff like that
terrified me. Did you think it was rational?
I mean, I always thought that ifI can think it in the moment and

(21:58):
plan ahead for it and stress about it right now, then once
the time comes, it won't be as scary.
Like it was all about having control, if that makes sense.
So, yeah, I thought that it madesense to me to stress about it
in that moment because if you don't stress about it now, then
you're going to have to deal with that when the time comes
rather than just being a normal person and going, hey, I'm here

(22:21):
for this appointment. Like, it makes no sense.
But it was all about having justcontrol over every single thing.
And like, even not just appointments, like months in
advance, this is going to happen.
I have to have a plan of what I'm going to, like, say to this
person how this is going to playout.
Yeah. You're maybe you're thinking too

(22:41):
long term too. Long.
I'm thinking too long term. Yes, but I think maybe you're
creating scenarios in your head that are like worst case
scenarios, like it goes back to you suffer more and imagination
than in reality, because when you you think saying hi to that
person is going to result in them standing up and going, how

(23:04):
dare you? And then people will be like
look at her trying to make friends and then the Prof gets
in and everybody starts tell calls the cops.
Next thing you know choppers arein there, SWAT team comes in,
you're shot now you're dead. Like chances of that happening
is very. Slim.
No, I know it's it's crazy. I in, For me, it's in certain

(23:27):
circumstances, like in not for the most part, but like certain
types of people, like, especially if it's like
something very important in my life, like if it's like a job
interview or something, or like,I don't know if it's like the
podcast, the podcast at the start.
I was actually really nervous atthe start.

(23:47):
Oh. Yeah.
It's just exposure therapy now. It's just like.
You're like, hey, get on in here, take a seat.
Take a seat. We're going to my podcast.
We're going to meditate or you know.
Deep breaths. Yeah, yeah.
Yes, now it's a routine. Yeah, no, I got a routine going.
Even got you some water there too.
Look. At this.
There wasn't music before. Before there was no.

(24:10):
And there was no preamble beforetoo.
We're just cold, hard boat. You know what that's going?
Said to me. She said.
You get in there, you sit down, you go like he's not playing
around. Yeah, you're gonna.
No, starting now. There's there's preamble now,
now I. Like it?
Yeah, a little, you know? Yeah.
Get the vibes going. The vibes create.
The atmosphere, yeah. Cause for some people this is

(24:31):
like the first time they've seenme, yeah.
Like I've never met you before. But you know what?
Yeah. We needed that.
Yeah, I know exactly we. Needed that.
Sit down. Little preamble, you know,
'cause like a lot of my, a lot of my friends that were tuning
in, they're like, bro, like the guest is obviously like, it
seems like they're getting tortured, man.
Like you need to calm down. You need to like do some

(24:53):
preamble. Yeah, yeah, 'cause they're like,
like as soon as they get in. Yeah.
Like, hey, nice to meet you, let's go upstairs.
Boom. They sit down, turn on the Cam.
So. First question.
Hey, yeah. Oh my gosh, I can't even see the
camera. Is it going?
No, it's gone. It's good.
One time it wasn't. And I was like terrified or like

(25:15):
it was really blurry. The one time I was doing it with
Ireland and I was just so I don't know.
It's it's the worst feeling. Ferguson.
Ferguson. Yeah.
No, no. Like have I been there before?
Have you? Yes.
Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
It's like, it's the worst feeling.
I don't know, Like you got to have a new word for a podcast
gone wrong. Like I feel like there's no word

(25:37):
to describe it. I feel like it's happened more
like it probably happens all thetime.
Yeah, they need a word for it. Pod Pod dress.
No, I was going to combine podcasts and depressed.
Yeah, things like introducing the meditation music really
helps get those vibes going. Also, I think you might need

(26:00):
like a little fountain, a fountain, a fountain, or just
the sound, the background noise.Maybe some fish?
Maybe that the goldfish? No, that would be great.
I have a spider. And a sea?
No, you don't. No.
I. Do.
No, you don't. Where?
Here I'm OK. It's like a small spider, you

(26:22):
got it at the gym and locked it in a little case.
What, like I love spiders. I used to have pet spiders.
It's not dead. It's got a.
It's laid an egg. What the?
What? Is that a family in its?
Trap. I'm feeding.
I had no. It's not moving.
It's. Her name's Max.
I didn't know. It was she's not moving.

(26:43):
All can get her out if you'd like.
I thought you were going to pullout a full on tarantula.
When people say they have spiders, I imagine like there's
a spider in a glass tank. No, it's it's upside down, like
she's dead. No, she's not.
She's moving you. Suffer you suffer.
Cool. Oh.

(27:04):
It's moving. A little bit of an odor too.
You know what though? You know what though?
I don't mind spiders. OK, I they're a little freaky,
but I'm never going to kill a spider.
I'm taking it outside getting itout, but I don't.
Mind them, I just all of her. If that were like to appear near
him really he's screaming like Iknow people that if they see

(27:26):
spiders it's it's end game like that.
They're our friends. I know.
And also it's going to rain. It's going to rain.
If you kill that you keeper, youkeep Max.
Max is her name. Yeah, yeah, I thought, I thought
it was a. Where exactly in the gym did you
locate the spider? I was, yeah.
You know, have you been a Millennium Place?

(27:47):
I've like been to the gym there maybe when I was in grade 10.
So yeah, I know. I kind of know there's like a
layout. There's like a little passageway
right in the middle. OK, OK.
And then I'm walking by near like the master kind of.
Yeah. Then those have been switched
up. But it was there.
I think if you were last time wewere in, there was grade 10.
They've switched spots. There was probably.

(28:09):
Yeah. But that area.
Yeah. And so I'm walking by and
there's just Max right there going down.
She's just there in front of me.And then there's like a couple
girls. Oh, my gosh.
And I'm like, wow, this is. And then I grab it by the web
and then I'm, I'm, I'm going around and then.
Came in to save the day. And then I I'm playing with it

(28:31):
right in the middle of the gym. Yeah.
And yeah, I'm like, we get alongwell.
I think we're emotionally connecting.
Wow. But yeah, yeah, it's AI think
she's she's going to live with me for a while.
All right. Maybe she'll.
Yeah, there's good. There's some eggs, so if you'd
like some spiders, all right, But what draws you specifically

(28:56):
to Italy for fashion, and how doyou plan to integrate yourself
into the culture? More about myself.
I'm ready to talk. No, yeah, I'm just kidding.
Oh, OK. I feel like I've moved the mic
three times. That's OK, whatever.
That's the feature with it and you can like.

(29:17):
Can you hear me? No, not, not Mix is so hard for
editing. So sorry.
There's actually people that like like when they talk, they
yeah, no, they do that. Yeah, no, that's don't do that.
That's terrible. OK, it's near me.
The question was what draws me to Italy?

(29:37):
Yeah. For fashion.
For fashion, yeah. All right, well.
When big fashionista, right? You know, I'm trying, but no, I
am that that is the decision I've kind of gone with.
But when I went to Milan for thefirst time, I just, I don't
know. Have you ever been to Italy?

(29:58):
No. No, I did have Katie Chipchar
talk about, OK, she was an au pair there.
Oh, cool. Yeah, she talked all about the
culture, how everybody's healthyand glowing and.
Literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I went there and you're walking by the duo like the main center
square and the fashion, the people just like the like

(30:19):
everything. It just has this, this feeling
about it. And so when I went there, I
thought, well, First off, Oliverand I were on like a trip
together and we're wearing like,I remember I was wearing just
shorts, like the most basic outfit you're travelling with.
And we, we were sitting there and we said, yeah, we need to
like stop it up and like we needto go above and beyond.

(30:42):
These people are so stunning. We seriously like.
So we hopped into H&M and went on a full on shopping spree.
And OK, it still wasn't to theirlevel, but at least I bought
myself something new and tried to blend in because we were
standing out like it was something else.
But just being around that. And yeah, there's so many

(31:06):
beautiful people, just stunning and so naturally be like
beautiful as well. It's like these people, they're
not trying too hard, you know, they're just, they're wearing
their style. They're, they're confident in
what who they are and what they're wearing and being
around. That was so I was mesmerized.
And then when I finished my undergrad, I was really like

(31:29):
indecisive. I remember I, I mean, it was a
year ago I graduated and I, I had no idea what I wanted to do.
I mean, my whole undergrad I focused on like marketing, like
I guess that was my major. And then once I like graduated,
I thought, there's so much more to this than just, I mean, yeah,
I could apply for marketing positions and like companies and

(31:52):
stuff, but what kind of marketing?
Like there's, you know, you go down a path, but then it narrows
even further. And so I was like, hi, I have no
idea what I want to do. And then I was like, oh, I love
traveling. So maybe marketing for a
traveling company, something like that.
And then my brother's friend, actually his really good friend
is studying fashion in London atRCA.

(32:15):
So to be honest, he kind of like, I guess inspired me.
I saw that and I, I started thinking about what I'm like,
really passionate about. And I had never been super
worried about my fashion. Like, yeah, OK, I always try to
dress nice, but it was never like, what brand am I wearing?
How is this going to look? How is this going to kind of go

(32:37):
together? And I spent the year and then I
got into kind of styling outfitsfor these random photo shoots
like modeling, but it wasn't, itwas, it was just for fun.
Like I, I really liked, how is this going to look?
What are we going to put together?
And so I, I kind of started to develop that and I realized I

(32:57):
don't want to just do, you know,a job and something that I'm not
like, OK, business. There's so much to it.
You know, there's business and then there's like narrowing it
down to what kind of business, what are you?
And then like, not just fashion,but like design, like styling,
the business side of it, like stuff like that.
And I really was, I loved just everything I was doing with

(33:22):
these photo shoots. And then I thought, OK, this is
what I want to do. I've narrowed it down to this.
I remember too, people kept saying Ireland like you've got
to find your passion and so like.
What were you like like? What does that mean?
What are you? Are you being serious right now?
What passion? Passion, I mean.

(33:45):
Yeah, your purpose. Your purpose what do you want to
you want to bring to the table? And I mean, my brother's always
been like, his passion is architecture and he's known that
from like the beginning, like this is what the end goal is.
And so many people know that, like, they know exactly I want
to be a teacher. I'm.
Passionate. I don't think they do.

(34:07):
I don't think they do. No, there's some that don't, for
sure, but then there are. OK, maybe they're just good at
pretending. Yeah, they're just good at.
I think there's always that lingering thought in the back of
your head that like, what if? What if I just.
What if I? Went to Greece and what if I
just saw the world burn? You know what I think, like what
if I just, I think a lot of people say they're like, yeah,

(34:31):
this is what I've always wanted to do.
But yes, those people are outliers.
But I think for the most part, everybody's confused.
Like nobody. Nobody really knows what they
want to do. I guess, I guess like some
people are just really good at faking it, not faking it, but
maybe they're, they are passionate about something.

(34:51):
But yeah, there's always that kind of what if I went and did
this? But I I feel like that's just
being in your 20s. Right.
Well, I'm, I'm a believer of there are no solutions, only
trade-offs, because if you, you pursue modeling, you pursue
fashion. Yeah, that's, that means less
time for, you know, maybe a drama, but less time for the

(35:14):
marketing gig. That's just you pursue one thing
and I it's very rare you've met someone that's just like
singularly focused, like that's work is all they do.
Because like there's a myriad ofthings.
Like there's like, yes, there's career, but dude, is that really
the, the passion? Like is that what you're trying
to optimize for? Cause like I'd argue it's not

(35:36):
the most important thing. You know what I mean?
Like, and it's just cause a lot of people end up working it for
20 years and it changes. Like they go, Oh, I wish I
hadn't worked so hard. Literally, it's in the top five
regrets of the dying. It's one of the one of the
regrets was I wish I don't work so hard and I wish I hadn't

(35:57):
lived a life that other people wanted me to.
You know, I wish I lived a life that was true to myself.
And I think for most people wereconstantly fluctuating or, and
then if you don't have the, the,the reflection like continually,
if you don't put in conscious effort, then you're just going
to, if you just turn that off, you'll be 10 years into a degree

(36:20):
or your PhD or travelling, right?
And maybe this doesn't align with who you are anymore.
You know what I mean? Like.
No for sure. Yeah, but maybe like, like I
said, you know, there are some people that just know and then
maybe that's all they want to do.
But I think for the most part, people are lost and we're just
trying to run towards this shinynew object, right?

(36:42):
Yeah, yeah. The new.
Yeah. No, that, that's true.
That's true. It's so, yeah, difficult,
especially when you see other people and you think they have
it all figured out, but maybe they're just as confused, I
guess, as yourself. So I think that was, yeah, a
huge thing. Also just graduating with
people. And I've seen like a few people

(37:04):
I graduated university with recently and they're like, oh,
like I got a job in this field. I just bought a house with my
like, fiance. I'm like, what, What am I doing?
But I guess everyone is on theirown timeline and it is just kind
of trying what works for you. And then if you really think
about it, like, God, I remember I heard that and I came home the

(37:27):
next day and I was in the worst mood.
I said to my parents, I was like, what am I doing with my
life? Like I just graduated with this
girl. She bought a house, she's
getting married. Good for her.
But also like, what? And then my parents kind of
looked at me and they're like, well, would you wanna be like
getting married and buying a house right now?

(37:47):
I was like, no, that's like the last thing I'd wanna do would be
like tied down mom. Like she was so like, yeah, this
is happening. And I was just kind of like.
Wow. But hey, you don't actually
know. She could never know.
She could be. She could be super miserable,
you know what I mean? I mean like.
She's happy. But she's happy.
You are right, you never know. She's married, but there are I

(38:11):
have been in that situation manytimes where like I've a lot of
my friends right now are gettingmarried.
They're graduating and getting full time jobs like the big boy,
big girl careers. Like we're between adults.
Nurses, teachers, and what am I doing?
I'm just podcasting. No, I love the podcast, Do what
I hate on the long term. Yeah.

(38:31):
But then again, right, there's, there's always that advice that
everybody gives. It's very cliche of everybody's
and different points in their lives.
And well, that's yes, I, I do completely agree with that.
Yes, but is I think I always just go back to like, is it, is

(38:53):
it aligned with their values? Right.
I like your what your parents asked of like, do you really
want to be buying a house, getting married right now?
Like do you like, maybe if the answer is yes, then work towards
that, right? But if the answer is no.
Then why do you care? You know, why do you care so
much for? Them and be like that's not
that's not what I want so yeah why do I care that I'm not doing

(39:16):
that right now you. Know let's why do we care about
that right like I've never. A comparison.
Yeah, the. I know we'll discuss comparison.
It seems there's so many, there's so many people that have
discussed comparison cause I've been let's.
Go down this subject I've. I've talked about comparison and

(39:38):
so many episodes and here's my here's my take on it.
Like, so there's the the inclination of comparison is a
thief of joy, which is good. But there's also the point of
you need to compare yourself to other people so you know where
you're at. Like if you have no comparison,
like how do you know if you're healthy or how do you know if
you're successful? You know what I mean?

(40:00):
But here's my final conclusion is a comparison.
Is healthy, but to an extent if it's taking yourself worth away,
bad. But if it's, you know, making
you inspired and you're happy togrow with people and you're
using it as a metric to be able to catch up and compare and

(40:22):
contrast and good. But you know, you can't be
looking at Teresa, who got the the house and like the two kids
because you know what? She's getting married, she's got
the kids. They're probably going to get
divorced. Who gets married this early, you
know? Yeah.
What's going? On guys, I mean.
I thought we were, you know, I thought 25 at least.

(40:44):
I mean while I'm opening Instagram every second post.
Married. I can't believe it.
Propose. I can't.
Believe it. I'm sorry.
I'm. Talking easiest, yes.
No, I don't. Want to make fun of people?
Good for you guys. I'm just bitter.
I'm just bitter. I'm in the comments.
I'm like, Oh my. Gosh, crazy.

(41:05):
No. Mom another another person
finding love, but not me. I like, I texted my friends and
I was like, did you see this person's getting married?
What are we doing wrong? That's always the the point of
topic when I'm I'm working out with somebody's, hey, did you
hear about that? I'm like, what do you think?
And they're like. When did like 22 become the new?

(41:26):
They're all like, oh, I'm reallyhappy for them.
I'm like, I'm not, you know what?
What is? What is mine?
No, I'm kidding. Oh.
That's scary. I don't think I could get
married until like 10 years. Like, I don't think so.
Oh wow, no. 10 years I got to. I got to enjoy my 20s.
I want to be alone. But what if the lifespan extends
to 300? What if you could live forever?

(41:49):
What if I could live forever? Probably.
Then I'm waiting like. Then you're pushing everything.
Years. Have you ever heard of Brian
Johnson? No.
His goal is to live forever and he's like, he's dedicated.
OK. A life where he doesn't die and
he's he believes he believes that death is something that can

(42:11):
be cured within the next generation.
Really. Yeah, so no need to get married.
So you're going to live forever?Basically.
Would you? Would I live forever?
Yeah. I think.
I remember reading a book about that.
Was it Tuck Everlasting where they like don't ever die?
Did you read that? Well, I.

(42:33):
Read that it kind of scared. Me, it kind of scared me because
there was this scene where like.They tried to kill themselves.
They tried. To die.
And it didn't work. And they were like, well, we're
stuck here. And they watched people get old
and they were stuck at the same age.
Not only did they like not die, they stayed the same age.
And to be honest, after reading that book, I thought that sounds
terrifying. But.

(42:54):
Imagine if you just watched everyone around you.
Nobody around you died too. Like everyone stays the exact
same age and we're just kind of in the same.
Yeah. And then?
OK. Yeah.
No, it would be weird. It would be weird.
I feel like you have to, you have to get older you.
Have to, but that's. What do you like talk about?
But. That's just what society told,

(43:15):
you know, No, I'm, I, I'm on your side here, right?
But like, this is just what society's LED you to believe.
Yeah, we have to get like age and we have to progress.
You know, I'm like a like an Ant, like compared to our lives,
you know what I mean? Like did you see?
Did you see that movie The Substance?
I that's actually one of my favorite movies, really.

(43:37):
Yeah. I really do it so hard.
Like I, I. See a movie.
I feel like I'm, you know, Elizabeth Sparkle.
I'm crazy. I actually loved that movie.
I really liked it. I liked it.
No, I told my family, you guys need to watch the substance.
And then I was up on all night reading reviews and analysis and

(44:01):
like the like the battle when itcomes to the the self.
And like, it was the younger versus the older self, but
they're the same person. I know it was crazy.
I had no idea what I was gettingmyself into.
Like I knew it was kind of creepy and my friend and I just
put it on. I mean to be fair, like at the
end there, it was getting a little bit.
OK, what? What?

(44:21):
What is going on? There was that creature.
It was really scary. It was.
Sue it. Was it was her all along?
I know, I know when she was taken away and that's what
happened. And then like Dennis Quaid is
like smile. So it was a good movie, though.
Like, but exactly. I mean, we want to be our

(44:43):
younger selves. And yeah, I think.
Forever. Yeah, my mom's like that.
Like she loves to just not age, to, like, want to stay young
forever. She's doing I want to be.
But yeah, it's just, I think it's like something my best
friend talks about aging, like he's scared to age.

(45:05):
It's scary. I can't.
I honestly can't believe I'm going to be.
I mean, it sounds stupid, but 23, you're old.
I feel like I'm getting old. You should retire soon.
I just turned 20. Yeah.
Do you mean I'm going to be 23? Yeah, I just got my favorite
truck yesterday. You know my toy truck.
Yeah, I. Was just.
Yeah, exactly. I was just.
I was just. Thinking about that, I was just

(45:27):
like yesterday. I was just on Roblox.
What the heck? Yeah, one day we all just
decided, yeah, we have to grow up.
Yeah, I think people just why can't we all just stay young?
Hey, like maybe they should extend the infancy.
Like maybe sometimes somehow change that.
It's like I see my brother and he's like he's 7 and he's just,

(45:51):
he loves life. Like when he's angry, he's angry
and like he's when he's sad, he's sad.
When he's happy, he's just running around.
There's no like hidden agendas of like like what am I going to
do or like what am. I doing with my life.
Yeah, no, exactly. Oh, I know.
And like even growing up, I, I did appreciate the fact that
when we grew up, yeah, we had social media, but it's not, it

(46:12):
was never as like intense as, asit is right now.
I was. On kick on like middle school,
OK, you remember that? I remember that but my parents
were so strict about social media like we were not allowed
it until high school which now Iunderstand why but I do remember
really wanting to be a part of that part.
Like Dick and I wasn't even allowed Snapchat.

(46:34):
What a loser. Yeah, I.
Was a loser people would be likewhat's your snap and I I just
like. Guys, I don't.
I don't have snap. You get bullied.
I wouldn't have bullied, you know.
At least, what's your Instagram?Loser.
I don't have. I had a tablet.
I had it, but I, it was just like lame because it was just, I
can't bring this to school. Like I'll just write my

(46:56):
username, you know, I'll talk toyou when I get home.
But I feel like bringing a tablet to school, you know, back
in the day, that was kind of cool, right?
You're like, yeah, I have this tablet.
What? Do you have I want to be normal.
I just yeah, iPods. I thought that was like, there
were kids like showing memes andit was like just sometimes like
it would just the meme would hitand everybody'd burst out

(47:17):
laughing and I'd laugh too. But I'm like, I wish I was a kid
with the iPod. The.
IPad kids, you go out for dinnernow and there's just tables of
like families and all of the kids have iPads.
My my parents get mad at me for like scolding my brother for
being on it too much. And actually we've had a big
talk. So I'm like no dopamine levels
attention span. I'm in psychology.

(47:39):
I study this and then they're just like yes but it does keep
them behaved. Like, well, you're at dinner and
they're on their iPad, so they're not going to.
No exactly digital pacifier, but.
Every time, like I'm in a publicspace and a kid starts crying,
I'm like, get on their iPad. And then you, you see them.

(48:01):
They like, I have seen so many situations where the parents
will take away the iPad and the kids will start like tantrum is
about to. Yeah, they're going crazy
without that. I mean, that is, that is bad,
Yeah. Everybody's on Roblox now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are they even?
They're going to be a whole new generation.
Yeah, no, it is. You better not say anything

(48:22):
basic or else I'm going to flip out.
This has to be OK. This has to be it.
Question everyone. Pay attention to every single
syllable, OK? How do you manage friendships
and relationships while living far away or constantly being on
the move? All right, this one's a tough

(48:44):
one. Basically, it's hard.
How do I say it? Well, sometimes when I when I'm
on the move, I forget to check in with people, but also the
time difference makes it difficult.
I mean, you know, it's 3:00 AM here, It's middle of the day

(49:05):
there. What am I going to do?
I'm out on a night out. Everyone's awake back home.
It's middle of the day. Sorry, I'm on it.
No, I'm kidding. That is totally the real you,
don't the. Way I do it I laugh stream on
Instagram, all you got to do is check in on me on my live

(49:25):
streams I'm. Posting pictures and live
streams. Are you on twitch?
I'm on there. Are you on Twitch?
I'm not. I'm not.
I got to get on that. Yeah.
No, I mean, it's difficult because especially sometimes
stuff happens back home and you'll be on the move and you'll
see it and she's like, ah, once I was there.
You. Don't get FOMO.
I do, I do. When I was in Austria, all my

(49:46):
friends turned 21 and they went to Vegas.
Then I said, guys, I'm home in afew months.
What? What is this really?
Yeah. I was mad.
No, no, I wasn't mad. I was happy for them.
I was happy for them, yeah. But there's like that side of
you that's like, I wish I was there.
Dang, like what the hell, They really went and did that without
me? No, I don't know.

(50:09):
I guess being abroad, I mean, every time I've gone, it's only
been for Max was six months and I had people come and visit me
like my my cousins came to visitme, Oliver came to visit me and
just like Facetiming, texting, Idon't know, I feel like life
gets busy here and you go weeks without not seeing people, but

(50:30):
maybe checking in as much. It's the same thing being gone.
Time flies. It just feels longer because you
do so much more. Like when I'm travelling, it
feels like I've done what I would do here in how do I word
this? Like when I'm gone for a month,
it feels almost like 5 months when I'm abroad because I do so
much more there. Whereas here a month goes by

(50:52):
like so quick and I'm just doingkind of what I do everyday.
So it's not like that different.But when you're abroad, it's
kind of, I don't know, but. You you.
It feels faster being here than it is abroad.
Well, no, not faster, but like when I'm gone, so much more
happens in a week than anything that would happen here in a

(51:14):
week, I guess. So that's why four months abroad
feels like a year, whereas here four months feels like it goes
by so fast. I don't know so.
Time perception right now is it is one hour in Greece, Austria
really like. Not real time in different parts
of the world, right? Now you're in a simulation right
now. It's a simulation.

(51:35):
You don't have free will, you? Don't know what you're missing
out on. So that's how I keep in contact,
OK? That's how I stay in contact.
I go or not. You're not living like like me
right now. They're on a different planet.
Yeah. So.
I've met a lot of people like that, like the yeah, I'm just

(51:57):
bred differently, you know, likecut from a different cloth,
like. It's just more than you in a way
that you're doing here. I'm a little bit better than
you, but that's OK. You're over here, you know
we're. On different levels, different
frequencies, you know, I'm. In the Mediterranean, whatever.

(52:19):
That's true. Living your best living the best
life I. Don't know.
I don't know, just yeah, FaceTime.
It doesn't feel as good though Hey like facetiming I feel like.
It's kind of like makes me more sad.
Like if I'm away from home and IFaceTime someone, it's just like
kind of sad because you're not with the person, you're just far

(52:40):
away and kind of checking in. But then you hang up and it's
just silence. I don't know.
It's almost better to, once you get used to the fact that
they're not there then and there, it's easier to kind of go
about your routine. It sounds really sad, but the
second I FaceTime someone from back home and I see everything
that's going on around them, it like brings me back there and

(53:01):
I'm, I miss it more. Like my mom will FaceTime me.
She'll show me like my dog and cat.
They all say hi to Ireland and I, it just kind of makes me sad
because I'm like, I want to likegive them a hug, but across the
world it's like punishment. Here they are, but you can't see
them. You ever seen that scene from
Interstellar like. Which scene?

(53:23):
Have you ever seen the movie you've seen?
Yeah. Where like Matthew McConaughey
is talking to Murphy, but it's like all recordings and she's
getting really old. Yeah.
I feel like that's you. I mean, he's.
Crying. Yeah, kind of like that.
Like all this stuff's happening and I'm just.
You just we want to get in. Walking around in the chaos,
you. Want to get in there but it's
just you're so far away? It's so far away.

(53:46):
No, but that is true. Like there's been times where
like it'll, it's so weird when you're far from home, like
homesickness will just hit you out of nowhere.
Like you'll be going about your day and something so small will
will remind you of like someone and you're just this like
feeling of homesickness. Like, have you ever felt that
feeling? It's such an unpleasant feeling

(54:08):
and the only thing you want is to be around the people you
like, who know you best to be inyour like your home, your bed.
And you just, you can't. And so everything that you're in
in that moment feels terrible. Like I, I had that randomly
happen. I was on a random trip on an
island and when we were on the ferry to the island, it brought

(54:32):
me back to when this sounds so like dramatic, but it, it was
true to when my family and I would go on the ferry, we travel
a lot in Vancouver and we take the ferry to Victoria and it
just randomly brought me back tothat.
And I saw this family in front of me of like 4, like 2 younger
kids and the parents and I just,I started like I had to get up
and I started crying and I was like, I miss my family so much.

(54:55):
I wish like I, I don't want to be here right now.
And I was, I was going to like Santorini, like I'm going to
this beautiful island. And the one thing I want most in
the world is to be in my home with my parents.
So it's just, it's, it hit me out of nowhere and I remember I
called my mom and I was like, I,I'm around all these people and
I feel like I'm dissociating because they're having so much

(55:15):
fun and they, they're seeing thebeauty because it is like the
most like it's stunning the island And I just, I can't even
focus or enjoy where I'm at because I just feel so sad.
Yeah, no, I get that. I'll actually, it happens quite
frequently to me. Like I'll there were nights when
it was just me and my mom and I'd be watching the TV or be

(55:38):
playing with my toys and it was so simple, you know, and I'd
like I'd be at work some days. I'm like walking to talk to a a
friend there, like a meeting, like I'm studying for something.
I'll just stare up somewhere andmaybe something reminds me of
those moments and I'll just be catapulted back to those times

(56:01):
that I was nurtured, you know, held crotal.
And I'm just like, why? Why wasn't like, it's so
beautiful, It's so sad, you know, why did that have to end?
Like, I want to go back, but I can't.
But at the same, I miss them, but at the same time, I don't,
you know, you, you can't go backin time.

(56:21):
Yeah. If you want to spend time with
them as well, but it's like they're far away.
Exactly. And it's like, I know this.
Sometimes you can't explain emotions.
You know it. Just like.
You just killed them like. There was this.
My dog recently passed away. His name was.
Yeah, his name was Anito. Very, very friendly, very

(56:44):
protective, Wasn't friendly to other people, but he was very,
very loving and never, ever showed a hint of annoyance or
anger towards any of the family members.
No matter how many times we annoyed him, he was always
loyal, patient. And then like after he, he

(57:06):
showed signs that oh, he was deteriorating because his hind
leg stopped working, He was justlike, I knew it was, it was
coming. Like I just knew all dogs have
that. And I like I've had many dogs in
my life and I never really, you know, thought much of it.
Like I just thought, oh, they'regone.
They're they're going to go away.

(57:26):
And I think that's just I didn'treally cry leading up to it.
Like all my family members, theywere crying and they were just
like, it's needle is a big part of the family and I do agree.
But at the end of the day, he's just a pet.
But the. Day.
The day of loading him on, he was struggling with his hind

(57:49):
legs to get on the van. And just like I just everything
flashed in, you know, like a Rolodex of just memories of him
coming in with a diaper when he pissed everywhere.
Cuz he was still like very youngand was a potty trained to the
point where I'd come home and he'd visit me random points

(58:10):
where or we'd like play tag and then we'd be outside And like
there is this like the the thingthat that I learned the most was
he just wanted to be loved. Like that was like the learning
lesson half. He just wanted to be, you know,
cared for. And there was times that I just,
I don't know, I like I was caught up in a task or I was

(58:33):
like, I don't know, ruminating on like a girl or like there is
like 2-2, you know, caught up with things.
Then he just come up to me and then he just know.
And then the floodgates were how, you know, and it was just
like, I don't know, it was just things that came out which I
didn't know that was in me. You know what I mean?

(58:55):
There's like certain things thatyou can't explain.
You can try your hardest to go, yeah, I missed them.
Why? Why do I miss them?
Is it this was it this why is the did this memory come like.
And then it goes back to like just being there for someone.
Sometimes words don't carry anything.
Like it's like the feeling you have just looking at someone,

(59:15):
right? And having them not judge you
and accept you for you, who you are.
And this question I've said manytimes throughout this podcast,
but like it's just would you just want to live a life like
alone? And the answer is no, because
like it's all about the connections, right?
That's why we're here. And like you live long enough

(59:38):
and it's you realize that like that's all we have.
And like all this like, yes, getting married, like going to
get a house, like traveling, allthat's great and all that, but
devoid of like meaning and devoid of like actual
fulfillment. So nothing, a bunch of nothing,
right? And it's just like.
Without. Yeah, the.

(59:58):
People that make. You feel that way the the pets
like and it's just, I don't know, like the people that we
spend time with and like the. They're dogs and pets.
Like they're all there and we all just want to be loved.
It always just goes back to it. Yeah, we all just want to be
seen and like, cherished. Yeah, yeah.
And like that human connection. Yeah, yeah.

(01:00:22):
And having that, yeah, for sure,especially getting older and
like it's kind of more quality over quantity too.
And just having even that one person that you can talk to when
you're feeling like homesicknessor like losing an animal, like a
pet, it's so important. And even, yeah, a pet can be

(01:00:43):
that like for sure. I think sometimes losing animals
can be just as difficult as people because they literally
are part of your family. I know it's like my dog getting
old and it's the saddest thing because like, he's the best
thing ever. I could not imagine life without
him. Like, I know that sounds cheesy

(01:01:04):
or whatever, but he literally islike my best friend.
I love that guy so much. It's just like, yeah, it's, it's
like anyone in your life though.You see, you kind of create
those connections with people and then you see them sad or not
doing so well as they were before or even like your parents
getting older. It's just, yeah, that's life

(01:01:25):
though. Having that and like to be able
to feel emotions and have that with people is so, so important
and special. I think for me it's, I think
it's more of like a defense mechanism because like I, when I
see like the relationship like almost being tarnished, like
people going away, I think I just shot myself down.

(01:01:46):
Like I, I try not to spend as much time with them.
And I did this now upon reflection, like I did this with
my girlfriends in the past were like, oh, if I get too close,
then I just start, you know, seeing the negative or he's like
planning the ruins, planning destruction.
And obviously I was young, right?
I didn't really know more about myself.
But yeah, it's just like, at theend of the day, I think it's

(01:02:10):
just the things that we have really like the connections and
like to. I'm reading this book.
It's called Dopamine Nation by Anna Lemke.
And she made a good argument forlike why she doesn't take
antidepressants. And she said when she was on it,
she had she could yes, she was less sad and there was like less

(01:02:33):
negative emotions, but she felt less human and like, what does
it mean to be human? It's like to experience the
pain, like to suffer because to not be able to feel the
suffering, you can't feel the epitome of love, you know.
So I think the more we run away from what makes us human, the
more suffering actually becomes intensified.

(01:02:56):
And later on we we regret it. And actually one of the top five
regrets is I wish I expressed myemotions more.
A good book should read it, but it's just, I think, yeah, that's
like a valid conclusion for a person literally dying on their
deathbed. Hey, like, 'cause like to give
you some background information about the book.

(01:03:16):
It's, it's this nurse that just interviewed a bunch of people
before they were dying and recounting the most common
regrets and just, you know, seeing it holistically.
Not just a case study, like, or yes, the case study, but like
talking to them, interviewing them, like why?
Why do they say this? And it's just like, I think

(01:03:38):
people say they regret not beingable to express their emotions
because they just, they want to be seen.
They like we all want to be seenas who we are, right?
Like, I think the more we deviate away from that, the more
our suffering gets intensified. Because if somebody does like
you and you have this fake persona, they like you for that

(01:04:00):
persona. They don't actually like you for
who you are. But then you you get into this
discussion of who really are you.
Like are you? Are you your possessions?
Are you your achievements? Who are you?
Yeah. Who am I?
Who are you? What are you doing in my?
Can you get? Who are you?

(01:04:21):
Why are you sitting? What is this?
Where am I? Could you imagine I just start
gaslighting like the gas like for 10 minutes I'm just like
saying who are you? And it's like where you haven't
laughed or anything. Get out.
Get out. No.
Yeah. Well, that's true.

(01:04:42):
Expressing how you feel and creating those connections.
Why don't people express how they feel more?
I think that's a topic we could talk about.
Why? It's because they're scared.
They're scared of rejection. They're scared.
Of rejection. Yeah, if they'd reveal who they
truly are, it's. Scary.
Yeah, like there's always this voice in the back of everybody's

(01:05:05):
minds where if they, if they actually knew me, they wouldn't
really like me, you know what I mean?
Like if they actually got to know the real me, all the little
quirks and all this because then.
But then people like, get to know the real you.
Like say they get to you, open up your true, you get to know
each other. Still there's that.
I still can't. Like I can't do this.

(01:05:25):
This isn't. It's too.
Raw, it's too real. Maybe it goes back to self love
though. Like do you like yourself like
it? Would you rather have the world
love you and you hate yourself? Or would you rather hate
yourself but the world love you?Yeah, I just, I don't know, I
feel like especially in our generation, being open and
honest just about everything andhow you feel or talking about

(01:05:50):
stuff is so frowned upon. I don't know.
Like if you're a male, it's likeyour pussy.
Yeah. What?
The heck is that about? Like open up about your emotions
because. It's sweet.
You need to talk about it. Like I, I think it's there's,
there's kind of like a. Weakness.
Yeah. Why?
I don't know, like I'm trying tobe, you know, I've opened up a

(01:06:13):
lot in this podcast and to my friends, but yeah, I still see
kind of the the friction on in it.
Yeah. And it's like, it's tough
because it's just, I don't know,it's like you're, you're
supposed to be the provider, like the more masculine type and
you're, you don't, you shouldn'tcry and you should be strong and
clench your teeth and just take it.
I hate that. I hate how like being open and

(01:06:36):
like expressing how you feel is looked out like looked on as a
weakness. I just, I hate that I don't
understand it. But men and women like our
brains are so different. It's crazy to me.
Yeah. But then then again, though, I
think you it's it's kind of if you you know, Chris Bumpstead,
like he's like the IFBB top bodybuilder.

(01:06:59):
No. Well, he's very he's very, yeah,
he's very into just the expressing yourself
vulnerability. And a lot of people are like,
yeah, yeah, this is it. But he's like world renowned and
he's successful in all this. And that's kind of like a pretty
privilege, you know what I mean?Like he's got a platform, but
what if you're a McDonald's worker?

(01:07:21):
You've got you don't work out you your childhood sucked,
nobody really likes you, you gotno friends.
You finally make a friend and you say this to the to to them
or like a girlfriend, you know, like I don't think it gets the
same reaction cuz you know what I mean cuz.
I guess it depends. It totally depends on every

(01:07:41):
situation. Yeah, Yeah, it's hard to know.
Yeah, like for me, I just like to, right.
It seems people like sharing their side.
If I'd share mine. I think people like love, Yeah,
I, I think people love talking. I think about their own
situation sometimes. I think the way I differentiate
it is there's like vulnerabilityand there's being a pussy, you

(01:08:04):
know? OK.
Vulnerability is like talking about, you know, I, you know, I
stuck in the mirror sometimes and I'm insecure.
Yeah. And I'm not.
I don't feel like I'm good enough sometimes.
And I, you know, I wish I was this and that, but I do
something about it. You know, I'm, I'm going to the
gym. I'm talking to people I'm
reading. Yeah.
So what you do on the long term?On the long term and but like

(01:08:28):
being a pussy is just maybe that's that's such a derogatory
term that is not. Telling people.
Not, I think weakness. Don't scratch scratch the pussy
part though. Weak weakness would be just
doing all that, complaining about everything but not doing
anything about it. OK, OK, what do?

(01:08:49):
You think? Yeah.
I think though, like, I don't know, just not being open, not
communicating, like so many things in life don't like things
go wrong because people don't communicate.
Like you look at situations and you you think if you had to just
said this or really like told mehow you felt or this would have

(01:09:13):
happened. Everything could have been
different. And why is communicating that
looked on as you're weak. Why would you tell me that?
Because you're expected to know.Yeah, that be it.
Or like, why would you I'm. Supposed to like, know that
that's what they were thinking. Yeah, but.
Then you have no idea because you never know what someone's
thinking. You never know what's going

(01:09:33):
like. I have no idea what you're
thinking about right now. What am I thinking?
You're thinking about the next question.
I don't know what I'm thinking right now.
I'm just kind of turning on a faucet and just turning it off.
It just like spills out, but premeditated or unspoken

(01:09:55):
expectations are premeditated, premeditated resentments when
you don't people, when you don'ttell people what you want.
Yeah. And you just don't.
Yeah. Why didn't you put that in the
dishwasher? Or like, why, why didn't you
send me that text? Yeah, You never told me, bro.
Like you never told me. We'll just expect that you would

(01:10:17):
know that. And so it builds up.
If you don't tell someone that they're doing wrong, how, how
will they know? They'll never know.
They'll never ever know. And like I see.
This I thought. You knew, I thought.
You knew I I I'm still guilty ofthis too.
That moment on the beach, I thought you knew.

(01:10:37):
Yeah, I just, I wanted you to open the door, you know, I
wanted you to get me that Lego set it.
Was so obvious. Yeah, you knew.
I I showed you pictures. From that moment, from that
moment, the very first moment I saw you, I thought you knew.

(01:10:58):
I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, So sad.
That generation, that is why I will never get married.
Thank you. Really.
You. Don't think you're just kidding.
No, I will. I will.
That'd be a waste. But like I said, we're waiting
50 years because we're living life, we're living till the end.

(01:11:21):
You're 70 and you're just like getting married.
Why not? Have you ever seen Letters to
Juliet I? Have not.
You should watch it. She goes, you met this guy when
she was like 15, her family didn't approve.
She's 70. He goes back, finds him, they
get married. I just spoiled the whole.
Movie. Wow.

(01:11:42):
Watch it. We're gonna get sued.
Yeah, letters to Juliet. Letters to J2. 1009 Just
kidding, I don't know what you're it's from letters.
To Juliet. Probably around there.
Who's the actress? Amanda Sabrin.
How have you said her name? Mamma Mia.
Have you seen Mamma Mia? Come on.
You haven't seen. I've seen Hairspray.
All right, all right. I'll give it to you.

(01:12:04):
Mamma Mia. Watch it.
She's like the main character. She's Sophie.
He's in letters to Juliet. Mamma Mia, here I go again.
Do you sing? I used to be in musical theatre,
though. In that case, yes, I do.
Really. What do you want me to sing?

(01:12:24):
I'll sing it. What about?
Give me a song. Hello.
This is me. I was wondering if I No, no, no,
I'm not giving that away just yet.
Yeah, that's for the next podcast.
I actually, I actually really wanted to get go on X Factor

(01:12:46):
like. Really.
You know what? That was a dream, wasn't it?
Did you watch them when you wereyounger?
The Voice, American Idol. And I was always like, yeah,
that could be me, that could be me.
That bad singer that. Simon Cowell.
Yeah, I see something in you. Yeah.
I see and then I'm in the comments like Simon doesn't even
shing like how could he be a good judge?

(01:13:08):
Exactly were the ones where likethey get really angry.
Yeah, that's. Why I use auto tune and you
don't? Or what does he say?
That's why you use auto TuneIn? I've seen that old guy, yeah.
It's so funny, like Demi Lovato.Yeah, yeah, or.
And then Demi Lovato was just like Strock.
And then like, was it the Spice Girls?

(01:13:30):
Yeah, she was like defending Demi.
Wait, have you seen? You've seen where they're best
friends, Abby and Alyssa a Blissa, and they're called very
unsynchronized. Just like and they get so angry.
And then like they one of them tells the audience to shut up

(01:13:52):
because they were all booing them and they got their their
friend just punches her on stage.
I've seen that one. I wonder if they still talk.
I wonder, I mean that would be, it got them like fame if my
friend did that and we became famous.
Touched on. TV, maybe it was.
You never know. They could have planned it like

(01:14:12):
that. Was their plan all like?
Really good friends now like what if there's what if that was
like their rock bottom, right? But then they saw, but then they
started kind of. It's like journaling and.
And figuring out their. Yeah, they're great.
Maybe. They have their own pod podcast.
Who they do a Blissa, Rachelle or there's?

(01:14:32):
That one woman and she's like, Ican do, shout, do Madonna, you
name it. And she goes, wait, what's the
song she sings? Oh, I can't remember.
Or there's those two guys and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
mysterious girl, move your body next to mine.
Come on, move your body. And it's just like the guy

(01:14:54):
standing beside him kind of putting, come on, move your
body. Well, OK, when you're OK, they
they perform this to their family members and friends,
right? I'm like, hey, hey, Ireland,
just tell me the truth, OK? If if I sound good or not, OK,
I'm going to audition for one ofthe biggest shows in the United

(01:15:16):
States. OK, I had a dream.
And it's like, wow, you're. Great to.
Win. Isn't that like he's going to
love you? That they're fault, you know,
like somebody because you know when a like a mother is always
going to love the child, you know what I mean?
Like. At that point, it's like you got
to say you're you're out of tune.

(01:15:38):
Like you suck. Like you need.
Another year, then. Look, let's try it.
I know. Yeah.
And maybe if a year comes in andyou still don't have it, maybe
it's time to start to take that poster off of one that.
Dream is done. Yeah, like you're.
You're cooked like you should. I don't know, because when one
time I sang in a cafe when I wasin high school in front of a

(01:16:01):
group of people and I sang Walking in a Winter Wonderland,
that song over the ground, you know that Christmas song come.
On don't even. Know it.
Yeah, I sang it out. I watched that video back.

(01:16:21):
Let me tell you, how was the worst sound I've ever heard?
I can't believe those people weren't hysterically laughing at
me. And I'm not just saying this,
OK? Why, when I was practicing in my
home, did my parents, my dad who's playing the piano while
I'm singing my song, not turn around and go Ireland?
You're going to embarrass yourself.

(01:16:41):
I think they wanted to see you fall.
They're praying for your downfall.
That was my downfall, but luckily, luckily it was in
Edmonton kind of in a. Right, right.
Quiet, Quiet cafe. I mean, my family was all there,
but other than that, you know, there are a few other people
singing. I Yeah, it's low key.
I did every single talent show, really.

(01:17:03):
My last one was grade 12. Yeah, Yeah.
What would? You do in the talent show.
I sang. You sang all right.
When you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I was like, really, I was reallyinto it.
Like I practiced every day. And then I kept like, maybe I
should just just show you. I have my I think my latest

(01:17:26):
cover was on Instagram. They want to hear it.
I think I don't want to get copyrighted though, you know,
because like on the podcast, there's like AI that comes in
and. It's like, OK, so you have to.
Hey, if you I'm probably just going to mute this while it's
playing, but if you want to see just go on my Instagram, get the
live. Reaction.

(01:17:47):
In the beauty of it, I was wanting to get biz.
You know that just the 2. Of two of us like.
Yeah, wait, I watched the talentshow at ABJ in like grade 910,
so you probably performed. I did the baby.
It's cold outside. Yeah, I think I remember you.
Maybe that's where I remember you from.

(01:18:09):
Like I feel like I remember you from somewhere.
Was it the talent show at ABJ? I'll show you.
I knew it. You know, wait, wait, no, yeah,
it was. What the fuck?
There's so many videos. You know, I wanted to get big.
Like I wanted to go on, like I wanted to go on YouTube and like
start like YouTube. Channel.

(01:18:30):
Well, I guess you have the podcast.
So much like, like I had that guitar and everything, you know,
like I, I wanted to be big and then I don't know, I just.
Wanted you could still be the next X Factor.
It's still there for you. No.
Were you there for this? OK.
I did at Grace McDonald. We did, baby.

(01:18:53):
It's called that side. Wait, I think I remember this.
What year was this eight years ago?
20 or how would? Have been when I was in grade 9.
I remember a duet that was at ABJ.
So how what grade would you havebeen?
Because if you were in grade 10,would you have been in grade 10?
Yeah. I was at the Tone show.

(01:19:15):
Yeah, my voice cracked. That's OK.
Yeah. No, I was like suit.
Like I came home and I cried my eyes out.
Sounds great I. Didn't cry my eyes out but like
yeah but. Imagine there had have been
like, I don't know, someone secretly in the crowd.
I go, we want him. That could have been it.

(01:19:36):
You never know. Would have been like the
multiverse, like I was like this, like the next Justin
Bieber maybe. But because I didn't open the
door for that person, like he turned the other way and he was
gonna give me this big. Deal and like where you are at

(01:19:57):
that moment. Yeah, but what if you when you?
Maybe you left early, too early in Greece and there was like
this project manager that was going to get you in with Brad
Pitt and Selena Gomez. I guess.
Yeah. You never know.
Missed opportunities. That's why my mom's, my mom
always tells me if it was meant to be, it would be.

(01:20:17):
Do you believe that? Do you believe that Everything
happens for a reason. Let's get deep.
Predetermined. Like what's your thought on
that? That you were always line for
this like life. Yeah, I think it's makes me
uncomfortable, but like I I believe it to an extent like
were. There ever hidden hints that you

(01:20:39):
would kind of have a podcast or do something that you're doing
in your life when you were younger.
You know what I mean? Yeah, well, like, I worked at
Panda Express and they always told me I talked too much.
I was in elementary. Like the teacher always took me
out of class because I was talking to the kid next to me
too much. I was just, I'd talk to my.

(01:21:00):
The ongoing joke with the familyis I'd be talking and then
they'd just be like, they'd lookat each other and be like, you
know, like, you know, like, likethis.
And yeah. OK, so I think there's like
hints in the past, but you only,it only makes sense looking
back. It doesn't.

(01:21:21):
Everything tomorrow, the day after tomorrow is a mystery.
You don't know, like when that happens, you're like, oh, like
because I had that one conversation with Ireland which
opened that passion up again andthen which made me start doing
that method that opened me up back into singing and then I got
signed into this. But I do believe that there is

(01:21:46):
good and good prevails and everything happens for a reason.
Yes, but like the good triumphs and like, as long as you're true
to your heart, good things come to you.
I don't know, that's just my belief.
I think every time I do good, see, this is one thing that I
actually believe in because I think there's like some sort of

(01:22:06):
a good kind of bad scale or likekarma.
So the amount of yeah, yeah, I think karma's real.
I think. I think there's some sort of
scientist that can prove it. But if you do a bad thing,
right, just like just destruction for humanity or, you
know, litter, or you tell your friend the fuck off.

(01:22:27):
Maybe it won't happen the next day or two days from now, but
somehow the universe just slaps you maybe 10 years later or 20
years, or maybe, you know, that's scary.
What do you, what do you think? What do you think of like?
Karma. No, like your earlier question
about like everything happened for a reason.

(01:22:48):
Oh well no I no, I fully believein everything happening for a
reason I didn't used to. So you don't have free will
then? Well, I mean, I don't know it.
It depends on how you look at it.
Like yes. Because if everybody, everything
happens for a reason, that must mean that why am I trying right

(01:23:09):
now? Everything's just going to lead
up to the next. Everything happens for a reason,
but you have to, you have to be willing, I guess, to put in the
work to like find that reason. I don't know.
So everything doesn't happen fora reason.
I guess not everything happens for a reason, no.
So saying that like every singlething in your life happens for a
reason is no. I maybe mean that more with big
events in your life, like if yougo through something super

(01:23:31):
traumatic or something that likeyou think you're never going to
get over. I think when you get past that
with time, you can really look back on that and be like, that
happened for such an important reason and I can now see why,
you know what I mean? So stuff like that, I believe
smaller things like deciding, oh, am I going to go like, yeah,

(01:23:55):
that's where it gets difficult because you can say that, but
then it can also mean. Yeah.
Is it everything happens for a reason or everything you've gone
through has a meaningful impact?Maybe meaning?
That maybe that, but I think, no, I know what you're saying.
I think though, when you're like, yeah, I don't know how to

(01:24:16):
word it, everything happens for a reason.
Or maybe just every. Maybe you can just find the good
in everything, I guess, I don't know.
No, I, I feel that like I think that's the happiest kind of
outcome mindset that I have where I all the scars, like all

(01:24:37):
the tears, all the pain, the suffering, kind of the
detachments, the insecure relationships I've had in the
past. It taught me to grow.
It taught me to always be on thelookout for myself, to be able
to gravitate towards people thatpursue authenticity, to have
good vibes, right? Or like, yeah, if you trip on

(01:25:00):
that place, maybe you'll watch your step more.
Or if you thought that that industry, you got into it, tried
it for a couple weeks, maybe it's not for you and you had to
feel that you have to go throughit and maybe bad things happen
to there. But other a different
perspective could be also seeingwhere that happened to me.

(01:25:21):
Now I'm a worst person over it. Yeah, baby, no, I know what you
mean. Yeah.
I think there's, there's post traumatic stress disorder,
right, PTSD and a lot of people would describe and I was in Nam,
I was in World War Two. I was, you know, I there is this
person that constantly bullied, bullied me, but there's also

(01:25:46):
post traumatic growth now for you, You seem to be a person
that's looking at the glass half.
It's it. Full full.
I got focused on the glass because my glass is empty and
yours is half full. Yeah, no, but this isn't.

(01:26:08):
Now you're just. No, I get what you mean.
Yeah, that there's always like, like what?
Something I think though, like let's say you go through, you
lose your job, you get like broken up with, you're
devastated over something in your life.
You you lose a tooth over a fight with your best friend.

(01:26:29):
Oh yeah. I don't know, I just added that.
No, yeah, no, that's yeah. Like something painful happens
in the moment, OK. I mean, if you lose a tooth, I
don't know how you're going to look back and be like, I'm so
glad that happened. I've grown so much from that.
I'm sure you could figure that out, but.
You're OK during the time it happens, you're never like going

(01:26:50):
to Yeah in the future, like I'm going to learn so much.
From it exactly. Just like when is this going to
end? Like this is terrible, but then
one year, one year down the road, Oh my gosh, that one
tooth. I was so vain.
I was so looking at my appearance so much now that I
lost the tooth, I got to to express myself more.

(01:27:10):
I got to see that, oh, people don't just like me for my looks
because I'm toothless. You know, I'm the dragon.
Like how to train your? I actually have, but it's been a
while and I know there's a new one coming out.
He's black, right? He's really fast and everybody
thought. The live action.
The Dragons were evil. But they're secretly.

(01:27:33):
Yeah, they were actually trying to just protect everyone from
the big monster. They're not the monsters, no.
No, no, they're trying to protect everyone from that big
dragon. Do you?
You don't remember the plot. I just remember this toothless
dragon and the guy and they havelike dragon world now pick.

(01:27:53):
Up you got to start killing Dragons.
But Dad, you know I, I. Love.
He loves Toothless, Yeah. I just.
I know, but yeah. Where was I going?
We. Were talking about.
Situation silver lining I. Guess.
Bad stuff. Like also I think when you go
through something, the last thing you want to hear or the

(01:28:14):
last place your mind is going isoh wow, like this is going to
teach me so much down the road. Like, for me, if I'm going
through something that's like I'm crying, I'm so upset and my
mom's looking at me going, this happened for a reason.
That's the last thing I want to hear.
No, no, it did not happen for a reason.
This never needed to happen. Like, I'm just so angry.

(01:28:37):
Like, I could have had this not ever occur in my life and I
would have been so happy. But then OK, a year later, Oh,
my gosh. Wow.
Thank God that happened. So yeah, basically, moral of the
story, time heals everything. Thank you Prime heals.

(01:28:57):
OK, without the good times, whatis bad?
Like what is without the bad times what is good?
Without evil, you don't know what good is.
Without those events. Without the pain, what is
pleasure? Without the pleasure, what is
pain? Yeah, we're I think we're
constantly trying to fight against each other.

(01:29:18):
And it's like too much of one thing bad too much.
But right in the middle and on the Zen like peace and it's just
circling back to like what is life without death?
Yeah. Like why?
Why do we do this if we're just,we can just do this 1000 years

(01:29:40):
later? Like we can't.
Like we can just do this when we're 70 and still looking the
same. We'll probably have more
insight. Yeah, I'll put off the podcast.
I'll put off going to Greece because I'm just going to live
to 1000. I'm just going to live to
10,000. Like how important time is.
That's true. I think if they fix death,

(01:30:02):
that'll be the end of humanity. I mean, yeah.
And like also just. Meaning.
Just people like being in your life for certain periods of time
and then them leaving and that being OK, because that was such
an important time of my life. And that time together was so
special. And I'm, I'm grateful for it.
But knowing that people come andgo and time is inevitable and

(01:30:25):
we're moving forward. So if they leave and that was in
the past, then that was a really, really critical part of
my journey. And I can keep going forward
knowing someone else is going tocome in and there's going to be
people in and out throughout thejourney because eventually
that's just like how time is. And if we had endless amounts of
time and that would mean nothingbecause it's like, OK, I'm going

(01:30:47):
to live forever. Boom.
I could just that person could come like, it's, you know what I
mean? It's special that that was at
that time because time was moving forward.
It's the finite amount because like right now, the reason that
this podcast has meaning is you and I could be watching the game
right now. You know, we could be like
sleeping. We could be doing something that

(01:31:08):
is a lot more fun, maybe more boring.
I don't know, like whatever. But The thing is, we came here
and planned this out and now we scheduled some time to talk
about life or whatever, just forfun.
And like one day this won't be possible.
And that that kind of everythingjust came together.

(01:31:32):
Like all the like the planning, the scheduling, like you were
like born from all these parents, all the wars were
fought and everybody, so many people died to amalgamate to
this one singular moment where Iget to talk about how to train
your dragon for a little bit. You get to be here.
You get to be here. But yes, devoid of that, then

(01:31:54):
yeah, we can just do this 10,000years later.
Why? Like what's the point of doing?
And now when we're in our 20s, when we'll have more experience,
10,000 years later, we'll have more knowledge.
Why? Why go to Greece?
We can just do it 500 years later.
You can, you can do it, you know, next year because because
you'll live. So that's where I'm like when

(01:32:15):
people, that's my conclusion. Actually.
I just, I never really reflectedon it too deeply.
I kind of knew. But that's why I think death is
so crucial. And that's because, like, if all
your family and friends lived forever, then kind of that
sacrifice did to show up to likea birthday to call someone.

(01:32:36):
It's like. It's.
Pressing, you know, it's like, bro, you could have just called
me in 2 years, you know I I'd still be alive.
Like I'm not gonna die you know it's not gonna there's no such
thing as end of the world. So I think the the possibility
of destruction is what makes us human, like the possibility of

(01:33:00):
decay and trauma and hurt and pain because without the
opposite, the other cannot exist.
Like if I just said, hey Ireland, I've somehow found the
cure to pain. You will never feel any pain for
the rest of your life with the ramifications for that I think

(01:33:23):
would be terrible. Like not feeling any pain.
Like, oh you don't like when somebody breaks your heart?
When your dog dies and a family member passes.
Like, how lucky are we to be able to feel that?
Pain how? And there's this quote by Marcus
Aurelius. And he was like one of the most
powerful people in the world who's the emperor of Rome at
its. Peak.

(01:33:43):
And he's like, how lucky, how blessed we are to be able to
feel, to feel love, anger, to feel emotions, like that's like
a blessing. Like if I, if we're just that's
what separates us from like ChatGPT is progressing is like
we are able to feel something and the moment we stop feeling,
it's not us anymore. Yeah, and I've always, I've

(01:34:06):
always found that sometimes likesuch a curse, like, Oh my gosh,
why do I feel so strongly about people?
And then when things don't work out, it's the worst experience
ever. Like it comes, it feels so, so
sad. But then looking at it and
thinking how amazing it was to have that with someone and feel
such a connection and be able tohave that as a human being and

(01:34:29):
thinking that's that's so beautiful, you know, like we get
to experience that. And.
Yeah, exactly. If we didn't have that, then
what would what would these connections be?
Yeah, they're so important. Yeah, true revelations.
Getting deep in the long term. Getting deep.

(01:34:49):
So deep. We're moving, we're moving into
the sadnesses. You love to do.
Did I look up the game score? The game?
Yeah, you should. Yeah, I'm going to.
What do we think? We won, we're winning.
Yeah, what time is it? Is the game.
Over eight O 7. It started.
No, it's it's still doing. It goes until like 10.

(01:35:11):
Where's my phone? Oh my gosh.
Oh, here it is. Sorry.
Yeah, let's see here. Hello.
We're sorry. I don't want to keep the game
score. It doesn't even come up.

(01:35:33):
It should. This should be the 1st result.
Oilers game score Sadly we are losing, but it's only the end of
the second, so the third period has not begun.
They'll. Make a comeback.
Yeah, they will. We're good.
Sorry. Thank you.
Yeah, you. You've been watching the game a

(01:35:54):
lot. I am a fake fan.
I watched during the playoffs, go to the watch parties, but in
the regular season I don't really watch.
But I've been watching. I've been watching the playoff
games. So yeah.
No, I've been, I've been keepingup with the winds like I've been
like Oilers, you know? Yeah.
Really. Wearing the Oilers, Yeah.
We haven't. We have not mentioned it once.

(01:36:14):
Watched the game. But you know, I'm supporting
Edmonton. Yeah, Oilers.
Oilers. This is not my jersey.
Thank you. Really.
It's Cassie's jersey. Really.
Yeah, I said I need a jersey because I went to the game last
week. Again, that was like, my dad's
friend got us tickets because heworks with them like.

(01:36:37):
Cassia Chesney. Yes.
And so I said I need I need Oilers and she has she has a
lot. So she she came and clutched.
Thank you. To Cassia.
That's a shout out, thank. You actually should come back,
Cassia, if you somehow got this for an hour and 37.
I think this is where like people get weeded out, you know,

(01:36:57):
like this is for like the true long term people.
Like if you get if you get to this part, like you're you're
wanting to search within and like you're introspecting.
Yeah, like you're like the type of person to listen to an hour
and a half pod is like bred differently.
Like I'm not, I'm not even, I'm not just like saying this to be

(01:37:18):
funny. Like I actually think like they
actually want to improve. Like I think people that listen
to this pod are curious. They probably shower every day.
They probably have a great skin routine.
They're probably cleaning their room as we speak.
They're probably at work doing something great.
And have it kind of on the in the background.

(01:37:39):
And even if it's not great, likethey have great meaning to it,
like it provides for the family.Yeah.
Thank you for listening. You know, we appreciate.
Yeah. Thank you.
Where? Where am I with these questions?
They're just like, gone. Have you ever felt behind when

(01:38:00):
you see peers that wait, no, we already talked about that feel.
Like we talked about, like we. Already talked about that.
What do you think makes a healthy sustainable?
You haven't answered this. OK so how has your mindset
evolved from from teenage years to now?
Especially with everything you've experienced through
travel. Well, I would say probably just

(01:38:21):
realizing what's important and the little things that I maybe
thought were important at the time aren't anymore.
And just how important. Why do I keep saying important?
Should I say one more time maybecrucial, maybe that's a good.
Crucial synonyms for important. Maybe extravagant is that?

(01:38:43):
Critical. Critical those.
Critical pieces in life. I saw, I remember writing that,
like seeing that word in my essay for social and then I'm
like, wow. And I didn't know what it meant.
I don't know what that means I. Have to write an essay on it.
Imperative. But yeah, no, I in high school,
I status was like, you know, yeah, I love status, love lots

(01:39:06):
of friends, silly. So quality quantity up there
just. Yeah, you didn't care.
You didn't even care how they treated you or what, like you.
Just what it looked like was so important, which is crazy.
That's so silly to me. But it was just something
everything everyone did, right? Like, well, not everyone, but a

(01:39:27):
lot of people because it was, itwas the thing to do.
If you're with this group, that's crazy.
That's crazy to me. And then you get into university
and you realize being on your own and like studying alone,
that's where it's at. That's like, I love hanging out
by myself. And I don't care if that's lame,
you know, I like my own time. Yeah, like, you know, when

(01:39:50):
you're 60, alone, no friends dying, it's like, yeah, it's
just like, needs people anyways.Who needs to get married?
Yeah. Like who needs fulfilling
friendships? You know when you got yourself.
By yourself. Like, why would the I need the
world's validation, right? Yeah.
So I don't know just yeah, how important spending time with

(01:40:13):
your family or really important people in your life is.
I think when I was in high school, like you said, my
mindset was so focused on high school and what was cool and
stuff like that. And I really, I was really mean
to my family in high school. Like I, I turned into someone I
hated. Looking back now, I'm like, oh,
I was. So I was just annoying.

(01:40:34):
And I mean, you know, I was a teenager, but still.
And like getting older, I love, like hanging out with my parents
is my favorite thing to do. I'll wake up on like a Saturday
morning and I'll go, hey, what are we doing today?
I think they're sick of me. Wow.
They are sick of me. They're like, we're just going
out on our own Ireland without me.

(01:40:57):
What the heck? Or I don't know, just yeah.
The things that felt so big whenyou're younger now or just so
small and you have, because I think you realize there's way
bigger maybe issues when you getolder, things to focus on and to
put your attention toward. And that's, that's more
important. So noticing that and also

(01:41:20):
gratitude has been a huge mindset change for me growing
up. It's easy, I think when you're
younger to be like, you're young, whatever.
I don't have this. I don't have a big house or
whatever and be kind of ungrateful.
And just getting older and especially with traveling and
seeing different situations and countries and what people are

(01:41:40):
living right now has really allowed me to kind of gain a
different perspective and come back home.
And the things that I really, really take for granted every
single day I try and be more grateful for.
It's still like easy to come home and forget and be.
But when I'm gone, I'm like, oh,just like even drinking water,
like clean water in Greece, likethe water was not very like you

(01:42:04):
weren't supposed to drink it from the taps and stuff.
Whereas here it's like I always drink water at home from the
tap. So it was stuff like that that
you don't think is a big deal. And then you kind of you're away
from it for a little bit and youreally realize, wow, that's
something I take for granted every single day.
Having your, like, parents rightbeside you, stuff like that.

(01:42:27):
But yeah, I don't know. Does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah. It's like being away from your
parents and like seeing like joyin the little things.
I mean, like in high school, we're so caught up with like
being so, so driven to be popular and to like look cool
with people. And I think for me it's that's

(01:42:47):
still kind of there. Like I still want to be liked by
people. I think that's like human
condition. You still want to like be
cherished by others and you still want to feel important.
But like we said earlier, too much of anything is terrible.
Like you want to be able to likebe selective of who you want
validation from too. Like do you actually want

(01:43:10):
respect from that person or you just wanting that because
they're cool? And it's like seeing gratitude
and like little things like I, Iwas the same way in high school.
I was a little bit of a shit head degenerate, I'd say.
And I don't, that's no exaggeration.
Like I was like, I was sneaking out a bunch.
I was just drinking and smoking and doing things that I would

(01:43:34):
just, my dad didn't want and didn't really, you know, approve
of. And I was, I remember getting
home from school and it was justlike a bad day.
And I was just like, instead of just actually communicating to
my family about it, I just shut the door on my dad's face, who
was wanting to ask if I was OK. And of course, he got angry and

(01:43:56):
I got angry and we split into that was like a common
occurrence. But like, now I see that, oh, he
repairs my car. He he checks in on me.
And he's like one of the only people in the world who
actually, like, has devoted timeand energy, like the parents
that we have to be able to see us go about in the world.

(01:44:17):
And like, the only thing that parents really want is to see us
be independent. Like, truly independent.
Yeah. Live our own, have our own
families, Right. Yeah.
And it's like when you're young,when your brain start
developing, I don't know. It's like it's tough and you
want to be independent, but at the same time you're like stuck.

(01:44:38):
You feel like you it's not enough because then you see
social medias in the play and you want to be cool, but you
don't think you're cool. And it's like there's all these
things coming out at you. But then now it's like I'm one
of the lucky ones. I consider myself blessed
because I think it's not just like a rough patch for some

(01:44:58):
people. It's like the successful people,
usually they they go through something and then they go up,
but then some of the peep there,there's the their failures out
there, right, That like don't live good lives.
And I've talked to some high school friends, you know, that
like didn't end up, you know, changing their life around and

(01:45:21):
that just became resentful and hateful.
And it's like it's tough. It's tough to see, but I'm
really lucky that I've I've I blast.
I've realized it and I'm like, oh, like, thank you.
And instead of let letting the relationships fray and get into
a point of no return, I looked in the mirror one day and I went

(01:45:44):
Advan, you need to change. No, you need to like it was a
points in my life of just like abunch of debauchery.
And it was just after a trip from Australia.
I got back. My dad was fighting and he was,
he had just, you know, gone through a tough job loss and he
there is like COVID was happening and I was still really

(01:46:08):
hateful, resentful and like I was just developing this
anxiety, which I never really had.
There's a lot of resentment to me, to my because my mom
migrated to Australia and this is from when I was 9.
And I kind of blamed my dad for it subconsciously because they
split up. My dad went to Canada and my mom

(01:46:30):
didn't know that she was going to go to Australia at the time.
And so she kind of promoted or was not opposed to us going to
Canada for a better future, you know, And so growing up, my,
it's just like, it's tough. Like I felt like a low and I
felt like my family. Yes, there were good times, but

(01:46:51):
I don't think I live like a, like a healthy, wholesome
childhood, you know, But I just,I took accountability.
One day I think I saw my, I heard my dad crying at one point
and I just like looked in the mirrors like to 3:00 AM and I've
just been gaming and I was like,it's hard to go to bed.
And my dad was, I felt like truelove to empathy for him.

(01:47:13):
But I sat downstairs and I looked in the eye and I went,
yeah, it's time to change. So then that's when I started
actually getting a job and then helping him with the finances,
working out with them. And like, everything just, like
came out to be. And I'm so like, I'll think back

(01:47:34):
to that point. I'm like, yeah.
Like, I mean, like when people tell you like, or ask you like,
when was the turning point, right?
I like, a lot of people can't really say that because, like,
there's so many things. But like, for me, it was like,
yeah, this room I had 3:00 AM and I was just like, it was dark
and I was like crying every night.
And it was just like, yeah. And then I needed to change,

(01:47:57):
like I needed to help the family.
And then now, you know, life andwith the family is so great.
We have so much love for each other that I'd say I love you to
my dad and I kiss him goodnight.And I think when, when people
ask me like, what my greatest accomplishment is, like, I, it's
really cheesy. But like the fact that I get to

(01:48:20):
say goodnight to my family and like my little brother Charles,
and give him a hug and like fulfilling friendships that
actually, you know, raise me up,like, I take pride in that.
And that wasn't always the case,you know?
No, exactly. Yeah.
You really notice what's important and maybe like the
important things were always right in front of you.
And it was just that that situation that helped you see

(01:48:43):
that, I guess. And once you do, then you can
really focus on it and put in the energy to, because I never
think it's too late. You know, I think there's always
time to come back and make amends or do your best to better
a situation or a relationship with someone if you've kind of

(01:49:06):
fallen apart or maybe not been the best of friend, stuff like
that, you know what I mean? Yeah.
But yeah, exactly seeing the situation and that just happens
with maturing and experiencing things as you grow older.
And then you realize how much you need those people in your
life and how important they are as your support system because

(01:49:29):
things do get more difficult andlife doesn't go as planned.
And you really realize that as you see it first hand.
I'm saying that now, but I'm only 22.
I'm sure things are going to just get more and more
difficult. Like right now I'm really in a
great situation and it would probably, yeah, I'm going to get

(01:49:50):
like, that's life. But it's it's a journey, I
guess. Yeah, we can't all do this.
Do this alone. Right.
No, Yeah, you need that support system important.
What was the most freeing for mewas like, because we're told
when we're in kindergarten, whenwe're in elementary, you're
special. You're so unique.

(01:50:10):
You know, you're cut from a different cloth.
You can do anything you want. And here I was like my mom
always told me that like she believed, she believed in me
before I even believed in myself.
You know, she was, she was greatand she was just courageous and
she didn't take no for an answer.
And she always did what she wanted, like and always loved me

(01:50:32):
for who I was. But like, that's great.
Like the love part awesome and like, but feeling special and
great, but like being told that you're want, like you're bound
to do something special and likeyou're going to be special.
It's like, not everyone's going to be special, you know what I
mean? Like.
Not everyone's going. To be an astronaut.

(01:50:52):
So when I like, I accepted the fact that I'm not going to be
that special. It was like, oh, thank God.
I'm just like an NPC, you know? Yeah, It's like not everyone.
You're your own main character, but like the main character of
your life. Yeah, Yeah.
I think a lot of don't like, don't you like in kindergarten?

(01:51:14):
Did everybody like, want to be an astronaut?
Want to be like an ad drama? Broadway.
I thought I was going to be on like, main star on Broadway.
I Can't Sing. I told you about my singing.
What? I just heard my winter
Wonderland. Yeah, I mean, I can.
That's. Fine, you should do.
Do you want to do a cover? Yeah, yeah.
Next time I want to be on here singing.

(01:51:34):
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Yeah. What?
Which cover would you do? That I should have bought you
flowers and held your hands. Bruno Mars.
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance.
I used to put that song on when I was younger and I would full

(01:51:55):
on do a whole. Belting.
No, not singing a full dance. Like a really emotional dance.
I used to dance. Oh, really?
Yeah, I was. I was in dance for a bit and so
I would put that song on and in my living room if no one was
watching. Dance like nobody's watching.
Seriously. Yeah, that was my song, that was
my go to. You still dance?
No, no, for fun. I mean, I dance.

(01:52:18):
Oh, I dance, but not like. Yeah.
Classes or anything, Yeah. Do do you do TikTok dances?
I mean, I did during I think COVID, but isn't that kind of
that's kind of out now The TikTok, I mean, actually there
was one trending. It was like radio video movie
with the suitcase living in the disco.

(01:52:41):
I love the dances. I don't know, I like, and I see
them on my feet at night. I love them like.
I also love the challenges. Yeah.
You know the the challenge of like, give me my money.
You know that one. I think so.
Maybe you're on a different sideof TikTok than me though.
No, no I'm not. This is trending OK Millions of
followers. If you don't know this, you're

(01:53:02):
not on TikTok. No, I'm kind of on the side
that's like that sound better not drink without me and I don't
want to hear any of this. I got homework crap.
If I go through your feed right now, it's like it's personal,
hey, going through somebody. No, you can.
Do you want to? I'll go through my feed.
Yeah, let's do it. Do you imagine?

(01:53:28):
Go through it, let's do a live reaction.
OK. OK, you go out.
I'll go through yours first. Hey, ready.
Love reaction. Let's see.
Hey, this is like my feed. Just scroll, just scroll.
Those are my like, OK, that's not my feed.
That's like my liked. Is that what we're looking at?

(01:53:48):
There's just no it's great feed.Great feed.
OK, that's my yeah, my liked videos.
That's my feed. RIP the last bottle of bleach I
stole from Starbucks when I create theories.
OK, so. Next one next.

(01:54:08):
One OK, it's Oilers. Boring.
No, I think it's your friend Gretzi.
No, I think that's a tik toker. That's a tech talker.
Wait, next one. Starbucks clean play task
cleaning the ice machine for a OK it's it's just this girl

(01:54:29):
emptying up this it's just Starbucks memes OK next time
next clean play task filters. On it.
Get past those. That's so boring.
Starbucks. No, no, there's more Starbucks.
Dynamic do our own shift together.

(01:54:51):
Where's tap in OK a bunch of Oilers so unemployed.
I have time to revisit every playlist I've ever made and
that's like the same OK, no, no on someone shit.
You got to start being selfish to get what you want on Steve
and him. OK, You're into like you're into

(01:55:15):
like the, the low kind of follower account tech talkers
like the, the Wow, I didn't know'cause mine's usually like
TikTok knows. I only look at the ones that are
that are what's it called millions of.
OK, the really famous one. I don't know.
Like it's like. A weird like side of TikTok,

(01:55:38):
Yeah. And then you get just trying to
relax. But it's my dad's day off, so
all of this homework to have to get done.
What? What's your memes?
I like the ones that are funny. Yeah.
They like film other people and see their reactions.
Or I like the one that's like, I'm so hungry I could eat.
Have you seen that one? No, I haven't.

(01:56:02):
Hey, what do we have here? Your brain can't tell the
difference. How to make your life better?
I don't even. Best part about going to the
doctor? Free lollipop at the doctor.
He has a great storyteller. I've never seen him wait.

(01:56:25):
I think I've seen this. That's Fast forward.
I like. Storytelling.
I like the ones that are like mebefore backpacking and then they
show the after they look like a different person.
They ask them will I wait? This one's kind of sad.
I like. Sad stuff too.
I love the sad stuff. Is this person, oh, this
person's doing well, OK, Dance don't die working.

(01:56:51):
You have like, sad ones. They're deep ones.
Oh, I love that. That's the guy who wants to live
forever. Brian Johnson.
He said this in my mindset changed how to make your life
easier. Yeah you have a lot of
motivational when he was active 5 minutes ago, but I'm on

(01:57:13):
delivered for six. What is this?
I can't make this up. When that's some gay what?
I don't know, but it appeared how social media destroys your
life. Wow, how to look busy at work.

(01:57:34):
Oh, some singing. Singing, Yeah.
I've seen this one turns escalator into like a workout at
the airport me after he sends mehis baby pictures and I'm on my
period and I realize he looks the exact same just grown up and
that's so strange. It says it's you're you're

(01:57:56):
friends with them on TikTok. Whoever posted this I don't want
to judge. Don't don't say their name.
Oh, she's actually on the pod. Oh no.
Oh no. Oh my gosh, my dad's here.
Oh, gosh, we can't, we can't, wecan't have them wait.
Oh my gosh, we've. Got to wrap it up, we've got to.
Wrap it up. This is a good old.

(01:58:17):
Also I do drive but I'm just he's driving me because of my
car. That's so funny.
Yeah, she does. Ireland does drive, but.
I do think my car is breaking down.
I've had her. For a long time like get it
checked out. I just don't want to pay the
money, so I refuse. But I just turned up the music

(01:58:40):
and it seems to be OK. I don't hear that crackling
noise. Yeah.
Because you can't hear it. It doesn't exist.
Exactly. Can't hear it, it's not there.
But yeah, do you have any last words for the listeners,
viewers? Go get them.
No, that's cut that out. We can't use that.
I'm putting that in. So thank you for having me

(01:59:00):
advan. This is it.
Stay long term, it gets better. Did we do a handshake?
For a handshake? What the like a dab?
I thought you were really OK. I'm not posting this there.

(01:59:23):
Boom, OK. Stay long term.
Do you know what I say after? Hello.
Goodbye You Beautiful people, I.Don't know?
OK, as always to everyone listening and watching, there is
a place for you in this chaotic world.
Never lose hope, strengthen yourfaith and keep up long term.

(01:59:44):
Ireland. Parsons, everyone.
Thank you so much. Oliver needs to come in.
I know, sorry that my dad's here, I told him.
I guess I told him an hour. That's.
Right, I just need one more thing.

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#136 - Ireland Parsons - The ONE Mistake Everyone Makes In Their 20's

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#136 - Ireland Parsons - The ONE Mistake Everyone Makes In Their 20's