For couples, February is typically all about love, sex, flowers, and chocolate. In this episode, dive into this season, helping couples create meaningful Valentine's traditions.
Join us in an all-new series, "Love, Sex, Flowers & Chocolate" as we embrace a new kind of love this Valentine's Day by moving past commercial gestures. Learn how to love intentionally through understanding personal love languages and creating personal traditions that deepen your connection.
• Importance of personalization in gifts
• Exploring love languages for deeper connections
• Shifting traditions from consumerism to personalized celebrations
• Tips for planning quality moments on Valentine’s Day
• Crafting meaningful gestures that resonate with your partner
• The role of communication in understanding love needs
• Creating your own Valentine’s traditions
• Practical ways to celebrate love beyond conventional norms
Thank you for tuning in! Be sure to download our free "Holiday of Love" handout to help guide your Valentine’s Day plans!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Love sex, flowers and chocolate.
Love sex, flowers and chocolate, so it's just buy the flowers
and the chocolate and have thesex.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
No, is that the deal, jeez?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
What is the biggest way that women need love on
Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Do what you got to do to figure this out.
Rewind it, write it down.
Do what you got to do.
We're not perfect people.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
By any means.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
But by trusting in God we learned what it takes to
build a friendship arelationship and marriage that
has stood the test of time.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
With a Keeping it Real style.
We're going to talk to youabout everything everything that
we've been through are goingthrough and have overcome All by
learning how to lean on God andeach other, in order to help
(00:58):
you learn how to love by faith.
Good morning, good morning.
February is here.
Yes, we're on the podcast againFinally.
February let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I love.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
February, february is here.
Yes, we're on the podcast again.
Finally, february, let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I love February.
February is so awesome.
It's just one big month ofself-care.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Why Selena why?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Because it's my birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Birthday month, February.
Can you get all the?
It's the shortest month of theyear.
Yeah, unfortunately, At leastyour birthday is not like
February 28ary 28th.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You gotta wait to the end dude it's 24th, like same
thing close enough yes, butstill I like to.
I like to treat myself allmonth long.
I'm one of those people thatcelebrate all month long sure,
sure you are, I mean, I knowyeah but I mean, I know there's
a lot of people I've met who arethe same way.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Like it, it's my birthday month, like.
I'm going out for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
For my birthday month ?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
yes, Celebrating me.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yes and so, because my birthday is at the end of the
month, it's like a bigcrescendo.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And so it just starts off small, Like, oh, I'm going
to treat myself to coffee, andthen, oh, I'm about to go ahead
and hang out with my friends,and it's my birthday, and I do
it all at the same time, andit's great.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Anything uh special this month that you're thinking
about?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Uh, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Well, with your birthday coming up, you got any,
uh, you got any big plans going?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Uh, no, not too much, just hanging out, taking it
easy.
Okay, it easy.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
okay, put your feet up, catch up on some uh, some
some netflix.
You want me to say it and I'mnot gonna say it.
I'm not gonna say anything youwant.
I don't want anything.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I have no agenda here you do my agenda is to
entertain me into this trap andI can feel it welcome to
february, folks.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
We have a brand new series for you you can't just
cut them off.
Sure I can.
You don't want to give it?
I'm not gonna pry it, we're notgonna talk about it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
We're not gonna talk about it.
When the time is right, it'llcome out fine, you just have to
keep tuning in all february tofigure out what we're talking
about brand new month, brand newseries.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yay this series this is gonna be a fun series, I
think it's one that's, for us,is, I think, it's easy to talk
about, absolutely, it's got alot of stuff we can get into.
Yes, a lot of experience.
Yes, bad and good.
Yes, this month, february, wewanted to talk about love.
Yes, flowers no, chocolate, no.
(03:19):
Okay, I was messing, I wasmessing.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I know what it is.
What is it?
Love sex flowers and chocolate.
Love sex flowers and chocolate.
The four top things thateveryone always thinks about
when they roll into the month ofFebruary.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Really.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Absolutely, and especially since we just came
out of such a heavy topic likeHoly Spirit from January.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
But February is when the Super Bowl is.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Jeez, Kyle, he always does this.
Guys, Please get on him.
He talks about the Super Bowl.
He talks about Daytona 500.
He talks about the NBA All-StarWeekend.
All of these things take placein February.
I think men did this on purpose, because they don't want to get
to the root of love sex flowersand chocolate.
(04:08):
So it's just buy the flowers andthe chocolate and have the sex,
no geez.
Okay, guys, we're gonna takethis week by week.
We're gonna break everythingdown as to why these things
matter, why they're so evidentin this month, and how we're
gonna help you love by faiththrough each of these topics and
, of course, how they'rescripturally and relationally
relevant absolutely so, kyle.
Where do we go from here?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
good morning.
This week we're talking aboutlove, the love week.
We talked about doing the loveweek during valentine's, like
putting it out right beforevalentine's, but I thought
putting it week one, becauselove comes first first comes
love.
Yes, right, yes putting it outnow, you'll be able to plan for
when it is valentine's day.
When you get there, you'll beable to plan for when it is
Valentine's Day.
When you get there, you'll beable to be ready.
(04:47):
So you can use this episode toboost, to get a head start, to
be prepared, so you're notbehind the eight ball when it's
time to actually enjoyValentine's Day.
That's right, right, right.
And so we're talking aboutloving intentionally, doing
Valentine's Day intentionally,yes, and creating just an
intentionality around it,because the world makes so much
(05:08):
of it for the things I likeChristmas, the things, the
chocolate, the flowers, thegifts, the jewelry.
You'll see all the jewelrystores having all their
commercials.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
All their ads all month long.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
All the engagement proposal commercials.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Oh, engagement proposal season Trying to force
you into a situation you're notprepared for trying to force you
into a situation you're notprepared for Right.
But we're here to recenterrefocus on love, refocus on two
people who love God, and byloving God they love each other,
and by loving each other theylove God more.
They show the world God's lovethrough their faith and
connection together.
Selena.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You've coached women for a long time.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You've done Valentine's Day specials,
valentine's Day talks, all thethings Valentine's.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Galentine's.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Right Galentine's stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What is the biggest thing that women how do I say
this?
What is the biggest way thatwomen need love on Valentine's
Day?
Coming from a married woman'sperspective.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
From a wife.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, talk to the guys here.
What do we?
How do we love youintentionally on Valentine's Day
and still be able to watchSuper Bowl?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
oh wow, that's how we feel.
I would think for wives, howguys, how their husbands can
love them on Valentine's Day.
First, and I would think,romance consideration, because a
lot of the times people don'tvalue the actual holiday.
(06:31):
They think of it as a hallmarkholiday.
This is a fake holiday, it'snot a real holiday.
Why should I care about it?
And they toss it off or they putvery little consideration into
it yeah which then leads to avery big dud yeah where they're
still expecting to get into thesheets afterwards like hello,
(06:54):
you're still expecting to getsomething, even though you claim
it's not a holiday and youdon't celebrate it.
So I feel like for wives um, wejust want you guys to be
considerate and if you're goingto like, we want to be
celebrated, we want to beromanticized and I know we
talked about this in previousepisodes we want to be pursued,
we want to feel desired, and sonot just necessarily making it
(07:17):
all about sex which we'll talkabout in the next episodes.
But we want to also feel prettyand worthy and desirable and
loved.
We want to feel loved and so,however, you know your wife to
be loved.
However she desires to be loved, that is what she would love to
(07:41):
receive on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Okay, so I'm a husband husband.
I know my wife yeah she, herlove language is gifts yes, okay
, yes so I'm gonna it'svalentine's day.
I'm gonna go buy her some gifts.
I'm gonna buy her some flowers.
Yes, I'm gonna buy her one ofthose little heart shaped boxes
of chocolate.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes, just the little one, because I'm trying to watch
my weight and then valentine'sday is done and I can watch
highlights no.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Was I romantic?
Though I was romantic, I boughtyour stuff.
No, you're doing, I just didyour love language.
How is that not romantic?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Because those are the common things.
Those are the common things.
Those are very.
It's not okay, that's thegeneral.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You could have did that while waiting in line to
pay for gas all the guys weregetting red faced with me
because we just did what yousaid.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
We followed your love language done that at the gas
station you could have saw,could have been at line at the
checkout site.
Oh, there's flowers here.
Oh, there's candy here.
Perfect, I'm done that.
Where's the consideration?
I bought stuff that's the bareminimum of consideration.
Like I told, love me the way Iwant to be loved.
So, yes, these are gifts, butthese are typical Hallmark gifts
(08:50):
.
If we want to take this awayfrom the Hallmark consumer
holiday, you have to make itpersonal.
So how are these flowerspersonal to me?
If it was a kind, a differentkind of flower bouquet and not
just your average six roses for$27.
Okay, Because we know they hikeup the prices right, they hike
the prices up, yeah.
It's already a hard strugglejust to find affordable things.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So if you're going to go out of your way to buy me a
very personal flower bouquet,yeah, I'll be like oh wow, these
are.
Wow, you have my heart nowbecause you went out of your way
to consider how to love mepersonally, not just how to love
me consumerly, if that is aword.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Fair enough, we'll let it be.
It's a podcast, save me withthe chocolate.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You're giving me a small little thing of chocolate.
We all know what's in thechocolates.
You don't know what you'regoing to get.
They're variety or whatever.
How is this personal to me?
How is this personal to me?
Okay, how are you making itpersonal?
Is there even a card attachedto this?
Did you even sign your name?
Did you even say any words whenyou delivered this?
What about the delivery?
What about the approach?
Or did you just leave it on thekitchen counter and you're just
(09:56):
like she'll find it, and thenyou walk away and then you're
expecting to get some butt.
Like what is it, tell me?
Like, how is this personal andhow are you considering these
things?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I think all the guys are taking a deep breath right
here.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Do what you got to do to figure this out, rewind it,
write it down, do what you gotto do.
I'm dropping gems over here.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
So this is why we're starting this early, right.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
So we can plan ahead right.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So, me being how I am , my instinct, what are we going
to do for Valentine's Day?
What do you want forValentine's Day?
And get a feel for what youreally want for Valentine's Day.
Yes, so, selena, what do youwant for Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
So Kyle and I have gone through Valentine's Day now
for what?
14 years this?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
will be yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Our 14th Valentine's Day.
14th Valentine's Day, wow, soback in the day.
What's up, dude?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
What's up, dude?
Yeah, 14 years 14.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
on the 14th, let's go .
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Wow, my mom would love that.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
So back in the day we used to do the general
Valentine's Day thing.
What do you generally do?
You go out for dinner, right,we go out for dinner, but what
ends up happening?
Statistics show thatValentine's Day is, I believe,
the number two top restaurantouting event in the whole year
what mother's day number onemother's day is number one,
(11:15):
valentine's day is number two,father's day is number three,
and so everybody is out.
You know, and you will wait forhours to get a reservation.
If you not have, if you haven'talready booked your reservation
now, which ps?
This is coming out the veryfirst week of february.
Get them reservations in, ifyou're, if that's your route, if
that's where you decide to go,if that's what you guys
communicated about.
I came to the plan of this iswhat you want to do.
(11:37):
Go ahead and do it if there's arestaurant she's been talking
about.
Right, go ahead and book thatright now, before she talks
about it again.
Okay, get it.
Get five steps ahead of her.
So then we used to go and wewould get into the restaurant
and we would wait for hours forour food to come out and I would
be, because they're so busy.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
You could be so angry after work and then we're
trying to get romantic and I'mjust like bro, I just want to
eat all the stress I'm gettingin and getting out this mess.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
So we decided kyle and I we were going to when we
got married.
We decided we're just going toorder chinese takeout and we're
going to watch romantic movie.
So we're going to pick romanticcomedy movie, okay.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yes, okay, listen how this evolves.
I love this.
Keep going.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
We're going to pick romantic comedy movie we're
going to watch and we're goingto just be romantic at home.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
We're going to have our Chinese and we're going to
do that Just enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Put on the candles on the coffee table Exactly what
we did.
Sit by the TV watch the moviewe made it our own thing.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
So what ended up happening was it was my turn to
pick.
I was picking the romanticcomedy.
I didn't know what to pick.
I was scrolling.
This was before Netflix wasreally big because this was back
in 2013, 2014.
Netflix was still mailing DVDsto everybody Right, it still
wasn't as big as like you canstream any movie from anywhere
right so I'm picking, I'm tryingto find a movie and I find one.
(12:55):
I believe it had like a pinkhotel and the title was grand
budapest hotel yes I had no ideawhat this movie was about.
So I'm like, okay, pink hotel,grand budapest hotel, sounds
like a funny rom-com, take ithome.
I don't know.
I don't know what this movie Istill don't I don't remember I
don't know what the movie wasabout yeah but it was a crazy,
(13:18):
just independent movie and wewere, that's just what we did.
So very next year we're likeokay, we're gonna keep doing
this.
I bombed the first movie.
Kyle, you picked the movie, ohmy gosh, yes you picked the
movie.
We get our chinese same thingbecause we we liked that part of
the holiday.
We were like this works for usright we're gonna keep doing it,
(13:40):
only kyle's.
We made small adjustment.
Kyle picked a movie called Ibelieve it was lobster the
lobster the lobster, anotherindependent film.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
It was about finding romance and uh like, um, I don't
remember what it was like ahotel and in like a, it was like
a vacay.
It was like a sci-fi movieright, it was a sci-fi
independent film and it wasabout finding love, and if the
love connection didn't work, youstill got to be regenerated
(14:11):
into an animal.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I'm not gonna, not gonna, uh, spoil it, but it was
it was crazy, it was a goofy wewere like independent film,
eating our general sows andspare ribs like what the f are
we watching on valentine's day?
So this is on this.
Honestly, this has become ourtradition.
Yeah, this is what we do, andnow, because we have kids, it
(14:36):
works out in our favor, becausewe just eat Chinese at home.
We're not making reservations,we're not going out, we don't
have to find a sitter.
We can watch this crazyindependent movie by ourselves
and enjoy our company togetherand not have the stress of
wondering how do you celebratevalentine's day with kids and
(14:57):
still have energy to pour intoeach other?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
yeah, so that's what we do so all that ties together
in that we planned out whatworks for us yes, right, and now
that we have kids it's evolveda little bit yes we, we may not
watch a movie because the kids.
We gotta wait till the kids arein bed to have one-on-one time.
But we still get to.
We still get the chinesetakeout yes we still we'll get
(15:18):
to.
Maybe we'll watch a, watch anepisode of something funny.
Yes, watch a stand-up specialthat's like an hour long.
Yes, we're not watching a wholemovie, but we've communicated,
we've figured out what works forus how to show each other love,
right?
We've personalized valentine'sday one of the things you said
earlier that I wanted to go backto yes is you talked about.
You said that's not romantic yesand I thought I was being
(15:41):
romantic by buying flowers andchocolate, right.
So to be romantic is to getdeeper.
I mean, get deeper than flowersand chocolate, right, right.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
From a guy.
Not necessarily From a guy'sperspective, not necessarily
Because Just make it personal.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
But okay, so don't just buy the grocery store
flowers.
Go to the flower shop, find theflowers she likes, find some
unique flowers.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Listen.
Put the card and then what Goto the fancy chocolate store and
bring back a better chocolatethan Listen.
Just being personal does notequal being expensive.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay, I have been sending.
I'm calling you out.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I've been sending you Go ahead I can take it.
I've been sending you reels onInstagram of people going to
Trader Joe's buying $10 bouquetsand combining them to make a
personalized bouquet that wouldcost you no more than $30.
If you don't have $30, startwith the 10, start with the 20
and pick things that arepersonal.
(16:35):
Okay, same thing with thechocolates.
If you're going to buychocolates, make them personal.
If your person does not likeflowers, don't you dare come
back with flowers.
If your person is not intochocolate and they would rather
have like gummy bears, youbetter get that gummy bear.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
And it ties back into communication and knowing how
to love your person the way theywant to be loved.
So, what if?
Okay, we talked about gifts, somy love language is touch
Absolutely.
I get a back rub, foot rub.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
No, I make our touching time personal.
I don't just be like, okay, Iguess it's time to just roll
over now.
Let's get this over with.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Okay, let's dim the lights.
Here we go, like I make it verypersonal, I make you feel
wanted, I make you feel valued.
Look at your blushing Stop.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
No, I'm not.
So you make it personal, youmake them feel valuable.
You make it personal, you makethem feel valuable, you make it
deeper than just.
Hey, I did this to check it offthe box, correct?
Okay, I'm gonna ask anotherdifferent love language, okay,
what about acts of service?
I go and I oh my gosh detailyour car I go and detail your
car as a man yeah you clean myhouse, clean the house.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You make sure by the end of valentine's day night I
don't have to worry about dishesbut it's a friday, I gotta work
.
You at work, you can clean inthe morning, or you can clean in
the evening, or you can cleanthe day before, or you can hire
someone call a clean lady yes,that's a something that is acts
of service.
You hear the pain points.
So all for the next two weeks,fellas.
(18:08):
You hear the pain points, soall for the next two weeks,
fellas.
You hear what she's saying.
You see things out of place.
You see when she takes a deepsigh.
You see when she is just tiredand she is still moving because
she has no other choice but tomove to get it done.
Take that load off of her.
You see the invisible load.
We've talked about this before.
(18:29):
Take the load off of her and doit for her without her having
to ask.
That is how you win the heartof a of a acts of service person
on valentine's day take note.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
You know what I do.
I do because you talk aboutstuff all the time and my
memory's not.
It goes in one ear and out theother.
Uncertain things and so when Ihear something, when I hear
something, yes, and I'm like, oh, I gotta remember that.
I write it down.
I keep.
I have notes full of stuff,honeydew list, honeydew list.
I got notes of stuff selenawants.
(19:00):
I got notes of stuff for thehouse that selena wants.
I have notes of stuff for theyard that selena wants.
I have notes for her birthdayof stuff she wants.
Yes, I just gotta keep track ofit.
Yes, because it comes by soquick in a conversation then
it's just gone yes but part ofthat communication is using
multiple senses to remember it,yes, writing and having it in my
(19:20):
memory, yes, helps so much sowe did gifts, we did touch, we
did acts of service.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, um time time quality time quality time.
So instead of you know, hustlingand bustling her to a show, a
movie, a restaurant, a thing,just chill with her.
Just have a conversation withher, write her a little love
note and be like I can't wait tospend time with you later and
(19:46):
then actually come up and bepresent, be present, put your
phone down and be present.
Don't go to a sports bar whereyou're watching a big screen TV
behind her as she eats her food.
Please don't do that.
Please go and just make the eyecontact and talk to her about
her day and her season and heryear.
What do you like?
(20:07):
What are you into?
What books are you in?
What show are you binging rightnow?
Talk to her, get in her spacewith her.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
That's good.
That's good man.
I wish I could.
You needed to write that down,you said so many things there,
right, run the tape when you ohman, you were hitting on all the
love languages and you said, oh, okay, so we have Quality time
person.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
We don't want to rush it Right.
We don't want to go somewhereloud, we don't want to go
somewhere where we can't connect.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
This year, valentine's Day falls on a
Friday.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Let's set our Valentine's Day for Saturday.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
We're not at work.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
You could, when we can go, do something when the
restaurants might not be aspacked.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Go get some brunch and stay for a long time.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Go get some brunch on Saturday.
That's awesome.
Quality time we're talking.
Go to a cool, like cool trendyarea where you can go for a walk
and enjoy just the outside.
If that's what your thing is,you know.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And talk and I like the other part you said about-.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Play a board game.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Writing a love note ahead.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So that she's got got .
Then she could have mentalquality time with you thinking
about the note and you can lookback at the note all the way up
to valentine's day.
Yeah, last point in that yeahsetting the stage for the event
is so great for, for qualitytime people, because then we're
able to be like oh, we couldimagine it, like I said in your
head, and I noticed you're usingthe word we, so are you touch
and quality type.
I think so I don't know, youknow one time you came at me and
(21:36):
said you were all five.
I dabble in all five of theselove languages, Selena Right.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Can't be that way, why not?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I can be what I want.
It's 2025.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Okay, Okay, go Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Go on, tell me your next point.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
This leads us right into words of affirmation.
Yeah, and in words ofaffirmation, you are pouring
your heart out through yourwords, obviously, yeah, you're
being very personal with whatholiday Valentine's Day card
you're giving your person.
You're spending more than twominutes in that card aisle
picking the right one becausethe words will matter, in that
(22:12):
card aisle, picking the rightone because the words will
matter.
And then not only that, you'regoing to write personal words on
the other side of the producedwords and you're going to put
all your heart into that.
You're going to send textmessages to them throughout the
whole Valentine's day.
You're so awesome.
I love you, man.
You know why I fell in lovewith you.
Do you remember our first date?
Do you remember when we wekissed?
(22:32):
Do you remember when we said Ido, I just, I just want, I just
want all of you right now whatis the words of affirmation?
person's favorite candy thelittle um, the little heart ones
conversation hearts, the chalkones.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, they taste like conversation hearts is that
what they're conned?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
yeah, do you like those?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I love them.
I like the way they taste.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Sorry tastes like they should belong at the
dentist.
You just rinse your mouth outwith water.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Afterwards it cleans your mouth like sandpaper on
your teeth when you're chewingthem it's like tartar builder
buster or something right, rightoh, that's so funny, that's so
funny yes, so you want to bethere.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Every word matters.
Every word matters, from thefortune cookie to the chalk,
nasty hearts to the words inyour card, to the text messages,
to what you say in person.
Also words of affirmation.
Just because you said it in atext, it hits different when you
look them in the eyes andrepeat it.
(23:29):
It hits different when you seethem in person after work and
you look them in the eyes andyou say it hits.
Different when you see them inperson after work and you look
them in the eyes and you say itagain in person it hits
different.
Because words without the bodylanguage, without the eye
contact, sometimes hold lessvalue.
And even though they willreceive it because they know
your heart, they know whereyou're coming from they'll feel
(23:51):
it in a whole different way whenyou put all of yourself into
those words.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Valentine's Day is a great day for the eye contact
exercise, where you sit withyour partner or stand with your
partner and hold eye contact for30 seconds, 60 seconds,
whatever you can tolerate.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
You know set it, you know, challenge yourself if.
If you think 30 seconds is whatyou can tolerate, go for a
minute and try and do it threeor four times that day yeah,
passing right and then see howthat connection helps.
I've seen where this justbrings couples to tears.
They don't say a word, they'rejust making eye contact.
I've done that and it's justtears because it's been so long
(24:29):
since they just had individualtime to just look at each other
and connect.
And that eye is the window tothe soul.
It just comes out so much inthat exercise, regardless of
love language.
That's for every couple thisValentine's Day.
That's our homework to you isthe eye contact.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Speaking of homework, you know what I think this
sounds like, as the wheels areturning in my head is we just
gave out so many examples ofwhat couples can do on
Valentine's day to make it theirholiday, to make it their
personal holiday of love.
Right, Like let's?
Let's call it that from now on.
And why don't we add a handoutin our couples playbook to break
(25:11):
down all of the love languagesand all of these ideas?
That way you guys can have easypoints and you can use them to
help you prepare for your newholiday of personal love for
each other.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
So look for the holiday of love handout in the
love by faith playbook yes, linkin the description.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
It's a totally free download that you guys can have.
Yes, link in the description.
It's a totally free downloadthat you guys can have.
And if you already havedownloaded this, keep going back
, because we keep adding to theplaybook, we keep adding new
plays for you guys, so make sureyou look into that and this is
going to drop.
Yeah, it's going to drop.
I'm going to make it.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah, it'll be in time for Valentine's Day for you
guys to plan, for you guys tocommunicate.
The whole point of this episodeis loving intentionally, yes,
god loved us intentionally.
He sent Jesus intentionally tobe that sacrifice for our sins.
Intentionally, yes, so that wecan be set free.
Intentionally that ourmarriages are a symbol of that
love.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And we need to love intentionally.
Yes, we need to love sosincerely the world to show the
world, Jesus said.
Jesus said you will know thatyou are my disciples by the way
you love, and the more we showour love to each other as a
couple, the better disciplewe're being.
(26:26):
And that's what we're after.
Well done, good and faithfulservant.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Loving intentionally is loving by faith.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Amen, amen.
So anything else that we cantell them about Valentine's Day
and being personal and beingconsiderable and loving,
intentionally turning a consumerholiday into a holiday that
actually means something.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
It's a great place to restart, to reconnect, to
reboost your love, your passion,your romanticism and your
relationship.
Relationships need romance.
We have a couple we've knownfor a while now and they've been
married I don't even know howlong probably 30, 25, 30 years
and they intentionally have setout to every year valentine's
(27:12):
day is not february 14th, it'sfebruary 15th.
And it started when they wereyoung.
It started when they didn'thave, didn't have it so good,
and so he'd, he'd get all.
He'd go and he'd go to theflorist and he'd get the flowers
she liked the day after and theflorist was trying to unload
all the stuff they didn't sell,so he'd get a way bigger bouquet
for the same price.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
They'd go to the restaurant so they wouldn't be
busy, because it was literallythe day after the busiest day,
and they set their tradition.
And so let this be a seasonwhere you guys set your
tradition we set our traditionyears ago, right?
Or let it be a year where yourestart that tradition, right?
That's what we're here for Goodmarriages, good love, christ in
(27:56):
the center, loving by faith.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And you have lots of time to work on this.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Get ahead of it.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
No excuses.
We are holding you accountableand we want to hear how your
Valentine's Day goes, how yourseason of love goes.
So make sure that you check inwith us and you let us know if
this episode was helpful to youand if it helped you guys bring
in an entirely new meaning tothis holiday.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
We appreciate you being here with us for another
episode.
We hope that you got some greattakeaways.
Hit the playbook, check out theLove and Intentionally handout.
I forget what I called itbefore, but it'll be there,
it'll be ready.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
And you'll have stuff that you can use.
Absolutely so, kyle, since youspent all last month praying for
our people, I would like to goahead and volunteer a tribute
and pray for this month.
Pray for our love season andfor our couples out there who
are aiming to restart somethingor reconnect something new in
this holiday season.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
That's great, Bring it on.
Bring it on.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Lord Jesus, we just thank you so much for allowing
us to have this topic brought toour couples.
We thank you that you gave usthese ideas, that you gave us
these fresh, encouraging bits tohelp them, to edify them in
their relationship.
Lord, I pray that you wouldspeak to each listener and each
watcher right now, that youwould help them create a
(29:18):
personal and meaningful holidayof love for their partner, that
they would work together, thatthey would communicate, that
this would just tear down walls.
This would tear downinsecurities.
This would tear down doubts andfears of what could happen if
it could go wrong or breaking.
Just making it a holiday.
That shouldn't be what it isand, lord, I pray that you just
(29:40):
fill them with love, fill theirhearts and their intentions with
love and help them reconnecttogether in mind, body and
spirit.
And we just lift all of this upto you in Jesus's name.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Amen Amen.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Thank you guys so much for tuning in.
Remember, if you're on YouTubeand you are watching this, then
please like, share and subscribe.
If you guys are listening to uson Apple Podcasts or Spotify,
iheartradio, any of the otherlistening platforms, please make
sure to give us a five-starreview and leave us a review.
That helps us get the word out.
It helps other couples learnhow to love by faith faster.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
That's right.
We appreciate you being here.
We'll see you next time.
Man Live by faith.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Like by faith, love by faith.
Yay, see you guys next week.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
See you guys.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Bye, bye.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
You know how you always want like an end credit.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah, end credit scene.
Yeah, we're doing it right now.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I took some time off on Valentine's Day, so I'll be
home early Valentine's.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Day for you, really Mm-hmm, yep, why.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
When Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
But when did you do this?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Earlier this week.
What?
Yeah, I had some time.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I was looking at my schedule and I was like I can do
this.
You took time off onValentine's.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Day.
Yeah, I'll be home early.
I'll be able to help with allthe kid stuff after school.
No, they don't have school.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
It was like a nightmare for me.
They have no school.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well, I'll be there to help ease the transition to
bedtime Coming off of going intoa long weekend.
Yes, they have a four-dayweekend maybe we can watch a
movie with the kids yes, hangout yeah, it's so nice there we
go, but I'm still gettingflowers right you just said,
(31:22):
flowers didn't matter no, theydon't matter to them.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
They totally matter to me.
I love flowers.
Okay, that's what my birthdayis going to be all about.
That's the theme of my birthdayis blooming into.
Oh, okay, I'm not gonna shareit right now.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
All right, it's too soon our episode, for our pilot,
with the bleep in it, it haslike the most views yeah that's
so funny.
Yeah, I gotta go time's up no,I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I got things to do.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I got things to do all right time to go live by
faith cheers good day.
Love sex, flowers and chocolate.
Love sex, flowers and chocolate, so it's just buy the flowers
and the chocolate and have thesex.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
No, is that the deal, jeez?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
What is the biggest way that women need love on
Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Do what you got to do to figure this out.
Rewind it, write it down.
Do what you got to do.
We're not perfect people.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
By any means.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
But by trusting in God we learned what it takes to
build a friendship arelationship and marriage that
has stood the test of time.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
With a Keeping it Real style.
We're going to talk to youabout everything everything that
we've been through are goingthrough and have overcome All by
learning how to lean on God andeach other, in order to help
(00:58):
you learn how to love by faith.
Good morning, good morning.
February is here.
Yes, we're on the podcast againFinally.
February let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
I love.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
February, february is here.
Yes, we're on the podcast again.
Finally, february, let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I love February.
February is so awesome.
It's just one big month ofself-care.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Why Selena why?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Because it's my birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Birthday month, February.
Can you get all the?
It's the shortest month of theyear.
Yeah, unfortunately, At leastyour birthday is not like
February 28ary 28th.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You gotta wait to the end dude it's 24th, like same
thing close enough yes, butstill I like to.
I like to treat myself allmonth long.
I'm one of those people thatcelebrate all month long sure,
sure you are, I mean, I knowyeah but I mean, I know there's
a lot of people I've met who arethe same way.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Like it, it's my birthday month, like.
I'm going out for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
For my birthday month ?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
yes, Celebrating me.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yes and so, because my birthday is at the end of the
month, it's like a bigcrescendo.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And so it just starts off small, Like, oh, I'm going
to treat myself to coffee, andthen, oh, I'm about to go ahead
and hang out with my friends,and it's my birthday, and I do
it all at the same time, andit's great.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Anything uh special this month that you're thinking
about?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Uh, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Well, with your birthday coming up, you got any,
uh, you got any big plans going?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Uh, no, not too much, just hanging out, taking it
easy.
Okay, it easy.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
okay, put your feet up, catch up on some uh, some
some netflix.
You want me to say it and I'mnot gonna say it.
I'm not gonna say anything youwant.
I don't want anything.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I have no agenda here you do my agenda is to
entertain me into this trap andI can feel it welcome to
february, folks.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
We have a brand new series for you you can't just
cut them off.
Sure I can.
You don't want to give it?
I'm not gonna pry it, we're notgonna talk about it.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
We're not gonna talk about it.
When the time is right, it'llcome out fine, you just have to
keep tuning in all february tofigure out what we're talking
about brand new month, brand newseries.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yay this series this is gonna be a fun series, I
think it's one that's, for us,is, I think, it's easy to talk
about, absolutely, it's got alot of stuff we can get into.
Yes, a lot of experience.
Yes, bad and good.
Yes, this month, february, wewanted to talk about love.
Yes, flowers no, chocolate, no.
(03:19):
Okay, I was messing, I wasmessing.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I know what it is.
What is it?
Love sex flowers and chocolate.
Love sex flowers and chocolate.
The four top things thateveryone always thinks about
when they roll into the month ofFebruary.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Really.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Absolutely, and especially since we just came
out of such a heavy topic likeHoly Spirit from January.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
But February is when the Super Bowl is.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Jeez, Kyle, he always does this.
Guys, Please get on him.
He talks about the Super Bowl.
He talks about Daytona 500.
He talks about the NBA All-StarWeekend.
All of these things take placein February.
I think men did this on purpose, because they don't want to get
to the root of love sex flowersand chocolate.
(04:08):
So it's just buy the flowers andthe chocolate and have the sex,
no geez.
Okay, guys, we're gonna takethis week by week.
We're gonna break everythingdown as to why these things
matter, why they're so evidentin this month, and how we're
gonna help you love by faiththrough each of these topics and
, of course, how they'rescripturally and relationally
relevant absolutely so, kyle.
Where do we go from here?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
good morning.
This week we're talking aboutlove, the love week.
We talked about doing the loveweek during valentine's, like
putting it out right beforevalentine's, but I thought
putting it week one, becauselove comes first first comes
love.
Yes, right, yes putting it outnow, you'll be able to plan for
when it is valentine's day.
When you get there, you'll beable to plan for when it is
Valentine's Day.
When you get there, you'll beable to be ready.
(04:47):
So you can use this episode toboost, to get a head start, to
be prepared, so you're notbehind the eight ball when it's
time to actually enjoyValentine's Day.
That's right, right, right.
And so we're talking aboutloving intentionally, doing
Valentine's Day intentionally,yes, and creating just an
intentionality around it,because the world makes so much
(05:08):
of it for the things I likeChristmas, the things, the
chocolate, the flowers, thegifts, the jewelry.
You'll see all the jewelrystores having all their
commercials.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
All their ads all month long.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
All the engagement proposal commercials.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Oh, engagement proposal season Trying to force
you into a situation you're notprepared for trying to force you
into a situation you're notprepared for Right.
But we're here to recenterrefocus on love, refocus on two
people who love God, and byloving God they love each other,
and by loving each other theylove God more.
They show the world God's lovethrough their faith and
connection together.
Selena.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You've coached women for a long time.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You've done Valentine's Day specials,
valentine's Day talks, all thethings Valentine's.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Galentine's.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Right Galentine's stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What is the biggest thing that women how do I say
this?
What is the biggest way thatwomen need love on Valentine's
Day?
Coming from a married woman'sperspective.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
From a wife.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, talk to the guys here.
What do we?
How do we love youintentionally on Valentine's Day
and still be able to watchSuper Bowl?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
oh wow, that's how we feel.
I would think for wives, howguys, how their husbands can
love them on Valentine's Day.
First, and I would think,romance consideration, because a
lot of the times people don'tvalue the actual holiday.
(06:31):
They think of it as a hallmarkholiday.
This is a fake holiday, it'snot a real holiday.
Why should I care about it?
And they toss it off or they putvery little consideration into
it yeah which then leads to avery big dud yeah where they're
still expecting to get into thesheets afterwards like hello,
(06:54):
you're still expecting to getsomething, even though you claim
it's not a holiday and youdon't celebrate it.
So I feel like for wives um, wejust want you guys to be
considerate and if you're goingto like, we want to be
celebrated, we want to beromanticized and I know we
talked about this in previousepisodes we want to be pursued,
we want to feel desired, and sonot just necessarily making it
(07:17):
all about sex which we'll talkabout in the next episodes.
But we want to also feel prettyand worthy and desirable and
loved.
We want to feel loved and so,however, you know your wife to
be loved.
However she desires to be loved, that is what she would love to
(07:41):
receive on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Okay, so I'm a husband husband.
I know my wife yeah she, herlove language is gifts yes, okay
, yes so I'm gonna it'svalentine's day.
I'm gonna go buy her some gifts.
I'm gonna buy her some flowers.
Yes, I'm gonna buy her one ofthose little heart shaped boxes
of chocolate.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes, just the little one, because I'm trying to watch
my weight and then valentine'sday is done and I can watch
highlights no.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Was I romantic?
Though I was romantic, I boughtyour stuff.
No, you're doing, I just didyour love language.
How is that not romantic?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Because those are the common things.
Those are the common things.
Those are very.
It's not okay, that's thegeneral.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You could have did that while waiting in line to
pay for gas all the guys weregetting red faced with me
because we just did what yousaid.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
We followed your love language done that at the gas
station you could have saw,could have been at line at the
checkout site.
Oh, there's flowers here.
Oh, there's candy here.
Perfect, I'm done that.
Where's the consideration?
I bought stuff that's the bareminimum of consideration.
Like I told, love me the way Iwant to be loved.
So, yes, these are gifts, butthese are typical Hallmark gifts
(08:50):
.
If we want to take this awayfrom the Hallmark consumer
holiday, you have to make itpersonal.
So how are these flowerspersonal to me?
If it was a kind, a differentkind of flower bouquet and not
just your average six roses for$27.
Okay, Because we know they hikeup the prices right, they hike
the prices up, yeah.
It's already a hard strugglejust to find affordable things.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So if you're going to go out of your way to buy me a
very personal flower bouquet,yeah, I'll be like oh wow, these
are.
Wow, you have my heart nowbecause you went out of your way
to consider how to love mepersonally, not just how to love
me consumerly, if that is aword.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Fair enough, we'll let it be.
It's a podcast, save me withthe chocolate.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You're giving me a small little thing of chocolate.
We all know what's in thechocolates.
You don't know what you'regoing to get.
They're variety or whatever.
How is this personal to me?
How is this personal to me?
Okay, how are you making itpersonal?
Is there even a card attachedto this?
Did you even sign your name?
Did you even say any words whenyou delivered this?
What about the delivery?
What about the approach?
Or did you just leave it on thekitchen counter and you're just
(09:56):
like she'll find it, and thenyou walk away and then you're
expecting to get some butt.
Like what is it, tell me?
Like, how is this personal andhow are you considering these
things?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
I think all the guys are taking a deep breath right
here.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Do what you got to do to figure this out, rewind it,
write it down, do what you gotto do.
I'm dropping gems over here.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
So this is why we're starting this early, right.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
So we can plan ahead right.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
So, me being how I am , my instinct, what are we going
to do for Valentine's Day?
What do you want forValentine's Day?
And get a feel for what youreally want for Valentine's Day.
Yes, so, selena, what do youwant for Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (10:37):
So Kyle and I have gone through Valentine's Day now
for what?
14 years this?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
will be yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Our 14th Valentine's Day.
14th Valentine's Day, wow, soback in the day.
What's up, dude?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
What's up, dude?
Yeah, 14 years 14.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
on the 14th, let's go .
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Wow, my mom would love that.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
So back in the day we used to do the general
Valentine's Day thing.
What do you generally do?
You go out for dinner, right,we go out for dinner, but what
ends up happening?
Statistics show thatValentine's Day is, I believe,
the number two top restaurantouting event in the whole year
what mother's day number onemother's day is number one,
(11:15):
valentine's day is number two,father's day is number three,
and so everybody is out.
You know, and you will wait forhours to get a reservation.
If you not have, if you haven'talready booked your reservation
now, which ps?
This is coming out the veryfirst week of february.
Get them reservations in, ifyou're, if that's your route, if
that's where you decide to go,if that's what you guys
communicated about.
I came to the plan of this iswhat you want to do.
(11:37):
Go ahead and do it if there's arestaurant she's been talking
about.
Right, go ahead and book thatright now, before she talks
about it again.
Okay, get it.
Get five steps ahead of her.
So then we used to go and wewould get into the restaurant
and we would wait for hours forour food to come out and I would
be, because they're so busy.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
You could be so angry after work and then we're
trying to get romantic and I'mjust like bro, I just want to
eat all the stress I'm gettingin and getting out this mess.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
So we decided kyle and I we were going to when we
got married.
We decided we're just going toorder chinese takeout and we're
going to watch romantic movie.
So we're going to pick romanticcomedy movie, okay.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yes, okay, listen how this evolves.
I love this.
Keep going.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
We're going to pick romantic comedy movie we're
going to watch and we're goingto just be romantic at home.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
We're going to have our Chinese and we're going to
do that Just enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Put on the candles on the coffee table Exactly what
we did.
Sit by the TV watch the moviewe made it our own thing.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
So what ended up happening was it was my turn to
pick.
I was picking the romanticcomedy.
I didn't know what to pick.
I was scrolling.
This was before Netflix wasreally big because this was back
in 2013, 2014.
Netflix was still mailing DVDsto everybody Right, it still
wasn't as big as like you canstream any movie from anywhere
right so I'm picking, I'm tryingto find a movie and I find one.
(12:55):
I believe it had like a pinkhotel and the title was grand
budapest hotel yes I had no ideawhat this movie was about.
So I'm like, okay, pink hotel,grand budapest hotel, sounds
like a funny rom-com, take ithome.
I don't know.
I don't know what this movie Istill don't I don't remember I
don't know what the movie wasabout yeah but it was a crazy,
(13:18):
just independent movie and wewere, that's just what we did.
So very next year we're likeokay, we're gonna keep doing
this.
I bombed the first movie.
Kyle, you picked the movie, ohmy gosh, yes you picked the
movie.
We get our chinese same thingbecause we we liked that part of
the holiday.
We were like this works for usright we're gonna keep doing it,
(13:40):
only kyle's.
We made small adjustment.
Kyle picked a movie called Ibelieve it was lobster the
lobster the lobster, anotherindependent film.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
It was about finding romance and uh like, um, I don't
remember what it was like ahotel and in like a, it was like
a vacay.
It was like a sci-fi movieright, it was a sci-fi
independent film and it wasabout finding love, and if the
love connection didn't work, youstill got to be regenerated
(14:11):
into an animal.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
I'm not gonna, not gonna, uh, spoil it, but it was
it was crazy, it was a goofy wewere like independent film,
eating our general sows andspare ribs like what the f are
we watching on valentine's day?
So this is on this.
Honestly, this has become ourtradition.
Yeah, this is what we do, andnow, because we have kids, it
(14:36):
works out in our favor, becausewe just eat Chinese at home.
We're not making reservations,we're not going out, we don't
have to find a sitter.
We can watch this crazyindependent movie by ourselves
and enjoy our company togetherand not have the stress of
wondering how do you celebratevalentine's day with kids and
(14:57):
still have energy to pour intoeach other?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
yeah, so that's what we do so all that ties together
in that we planned out whatworks for us yes, right, and now
that we have kids it's evolveda little bit yes we, we may not
watch a movie because the kids.
We gotta wait till the kids arein bed to have one-on-one time.
But we still get to.
We still get the chinesetakeout yes we still we'll get
(15:18):
to.
Maybe we'll watch a, watch anepisode of something funny.
Yes, watch a stand-up specialthat's like an hour long.
Yes, we're not watching a wholemovie, but we've communicated,
we've figured out what works forus how to show each other love,
right?
We've personalized valentine'sday one of the things you said
earlier that I wanted to go backto yes is you talked about.
You said that's not romantic yesand I thought I was being
(15:41):
romantic by buying flowers andchocolate, right.
So to be romantic is to getdeeper.
I mean, get deeper than flowersand chocolate, right, right.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
From a guy.
Not necessarily From a guy'sperspective, not necessarily
Because Just make it personal.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
But okay, so don't just buy the grocery store
flowers.
Go to the flower shop, find theflowers she likes, find some
unique flowers.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Listen.
Put the card and then what Goto the fancy chocolate store and
bring back a better chocolatethan Listen.
Just being personal does notequal being expensive.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay, I have been sending.
I'm calling you out.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
I've been sending you Go ahead I can take it.
I've been sending you reels onInstagram of people going to
Trader Joe's buying $10 bouquetsand combining them to make a
personalized bouquet that wouldcost you no more than $30.
If you don't have $30, startwith the 10, start with the 20
and pick things that arepersonal.
(16:35):
Okay, same thing with thechocolates.
If you're going to buychocolates, make them personal.
If your person does not likeflowers, don't you dare come
back with flowers.
If your person is not intochocolate and they would rather
have like gummy bears, youbetter get that gummy bear.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
And it ties back into communication and knowing how
to love your person the way theywant to be loved.
So, what if?
Okay, we talked about gifts, somy love language is touch
Absolutely.
I get a back rub, foot rub.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
No, I make our touching time personal.
I don't just be like, okay, Iguess it's time to just roll
over now.
Let's get this over with.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Okay, let's dim the lights.
Here we go, like I make it verypersonal, I make you feel
wanted, I make you feel valued.
Look at your blushing Stop.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
No, I'm not.
So you make it personal, youmake them feel valuable.
You make it personal, you makethem feel valuable, you make it
deeper than just.
Hey, I did this to check it offthe box, correct?
Okay, I'm gonna ask anotherdifferent love language, okay,
what about acts of service?
I go and I oh my gosh detailyour car I go and detail your
car as a man yeah you clean myhouse, clean the house.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You make sure by the end of valentine's day night I
don't have to worry about dishesbut it's a friday, I gotta work
.
You at work, you can clean inthe morning, or you can clean in
the evening, or you can cleanthe day before, or you can hire
someone call a clean lady yes,that's a something that is acts
of service.
You hear the pain points.
So all for the next two weeks,fellas.
(18:08):
You hear the pain points, soall for the next two weeks,
fellas.
You hear what she's saying.
You see things out of place.
You see when she takes a deepsigh.
You see when she is just tiredand she is still moving because
she has no other choice but tomove to get it done.
Take that load off of her.
You see the invisible load.
We've talked about this before.
(18:29):
Take the load off of her and doit for her without her having
to ask.
That is how you win the heartof a of a acts of service person
on valentine's day take note.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
You know what I do.
I do because you talk aboutstuff all the time and my
memory's not.
It goes in one ear and out theother.
Uncertain things and so when Ihear something, when I hear
something, yes, and I'm like, oh, I gotta remember that.
I write it down.
I keep.
I have notes full of stuff,honeydew list, honeydew list.
I got notes of stuff selenawants.
(19:00):
I got notes of stuff for thehouse that selena wants.
I have notes of stuff for theyard that selena wants.
I have notes for her birthdayof stuff she wants.
Yes, I just gotta keep track ofit.
Yes, because it comes by soquick in a conversation then
it's just gone yes but part ofthat communication is using
multiple senses to remember it,yes, writing and having it in my
(19:20):
memory, yes, helps so much sowe did gifts, we did touch, we
did acts of service.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, um time time quality time quality time.
So instead of you know, hustlingand bustling her to a show, a
movie, a restaurant, a thing,just chill with her.
Just have a conversation withher, write her a little love
note and be like I can't wait tospend time with you later and
(19:46):
then actually come up and bepresent, be present, put your
phone down and be present.
Don't go to a sports bar whereyou're watching a big screen TV
behind her as she eats her food.
Please don't do that.
Please go and just make the eyecontact and talk to her about
her day and her season and heryear.
What do you like?
(20:07):
What are you into?
What books are you in?
What show are you binging rightnow?
Talk to her, get in her spacewith her.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
That's good.
That's good man.
I wish I could.
You needed to write that down,you said so many things there,
right, run the tape when you ohman, you were hitting on all the
love languages and you said, oh, okay, so we have Quality time
person.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
We don't want to rush it Right.
We don't want to go somewhereloud, we don't want to go
somewhere where we can't connect.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
This year, valentine's Day falls on a
Friday.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Let's set our Valentine's Day for Saturday.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
We're not at work.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
You could, when we can go, do something when the
restaurants might not be aspacked.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Go get some brunch and stay for a long time.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Go get some brunch on Saturday.
That's awesome.
Quality time we're talking.
Go to a cool, like cool trendyarea where you can go for a walk
and enjoy just the outside.
If that's what your thing is,you know.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
And talk and I like the other part you said about-.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Play a board game.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Writing a love note ahead.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So that she's got got .
Then she could have mentalquality time with you thinking
about the note and you can lookback at the note all the way up
to valentine's day.
Yeah, last point in that yeahsetting the stage for the event
is so great for, for qualitytime people, because then we're
able to be like oh, we couldimagine it, like I said in your
head, and I noticed you're usingthe word we, so are you touch
and quality type.
I think so I don't know, youknow one time you came at me and
(21:36):
said you were all five.
I dabble in all five of theselove languages, Selena Right.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Can't be that way, why not?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
I can be what I want.
It's 2025.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Okay, Okay, go Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Go on, tell me your next point.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
This leads us right into words of affirmation.
Yeah, and in words ofaffirmation, you are pouring
your heart out through yourwords, obviously, yeah, you're
being very personal with whatholiday Valentine's Day card
you're giving your person.
You're spending more than twominutes in that card aisle
picking the right one becausethe words will matter, in that
(22:12):
card aisle, picking the rightone because the words will
matter.
And then not only that, you'regoing to write personal words on
the other side of the producedwords and you're going to put
all your heart into that.
You're going to send textmessages to them throughout the
whole Valentine's day.
You're so awesome.
I love you, man.
You know why I fell in lovewith you.
Do you remember our first date?
Do you remember when we wekissed?
(22:32):
Do you remember when we said Ido, I just, I just want, I just
want all of you right now whatis the words of affirmation?
person's favorite candy thelittle um, the little heart ones
conversation hearts, the chalkones.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, they taste like conversation hearts is that
what they're conned?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
yeah, do you like those?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I love them.
I like the way they taste.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Sorry tastes like they should belong at the
dentist.
You just rinse your mouth outwith water.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Afterwards it cleans your mouth like sandpaper on
your teeth when you're chewingthem it's like tartar builder
buster or something right, rightoh, that's so funny, that's so
funny yes, so you want to bethere.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Every word matters.
Every word matters, from thefortune cookie to the chalk,
nasty hearts to the words inyour card, to the text messages,
to what you say in person.
Also words of affirmation.
Just because you said it in atext, it hits different when you
look them in the eyes andrepeat it.
(23:29):
It hits different when you seethem in person after work and
you look them in the eyes andyou say it hits.
Different when you see them inperson after work and you look
them in the eyes and you say itagain in person it hits
different.
Because words without the bodylanguage, without the eye
contact, sometimes hold lessvalue.
And even though they willreceive it because they know
your heart, they know whereyou're coming from they'll feel
(23:51):
it in a whole different way whenyou put all of yourself into
those words.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Valentine's Day is a great day for the eye contact
exercise, where you sit withyour partner or stand with your
partner and hold eye contact for30 seconds, 60 seconds,
whatever you can tolerate.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
You know set it, you know, challenge yourself if.
If you think 30 seconds is whatyou can tolerate, go for a
minute and try and do it threeor four times that day yeah,
passing right and then see howthat connection helps.
I've seen where this justbrings couples to tears.
They don't say a word, they'rejust making eye contact.
I've done that and it's justtears because it's been so long
(24:29):
since they just had individualtime to just look at each other
and connect.
And that eye is the window tothe soul.
It just comes out so much inthat exercise, regardless of
love language.
That's for every couple thisValentine's Day.
That's our homework to you isthe eye contact.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Speaking of homework, you know what I think this
sounds like, as the wheels areturning in my head is we just
gave out so many examples ofwhat couples can do on
Valentine's day to make it theirholiday, to make it their
personal holiday of love.
Right, Like let's?
Let's call it that from now on.
And why don't we add a handoutin our couples playbook to break
(25:11):
down all of the love languagesand all of these ideas?
That way you guys can have easypoints and you can use them to
help you prepare for your newholiday of personal love for
each other.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
So look for the holiday of love handout in the
love by faith playbook yes, linkin the description.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
It's a totally free download that you guys can have.
Yes, link in the description.
It's a totally free downloadthat you guys can have.
And if you already havedownloaded this, keep going back
, because we keep adding to theplaybook, we keep adding new
plays for you guys, so make sureyou look into that and this is
going to drop.
Yeah, it's going to drop.
I'm going to make it.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah, it'll be in time for Valentine's Day for you
guys to plan, for you guys tocommunicate.
The whole point of this episodeis loving intentionally, yes,
god loved us intentionally.
He sent Jesus intentionally tobe that sacrifice for our sins.
Intentionally, yes, so that wecan be set free.
Intentionally that ourmarriages are a symbol of that
love.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
And we need to love intentionally.
Yes, we need to love sosincerely the world to show the
world, Jesus said.
Jesus said you will know thatyou are my disciples by the way
you love, and the more we showour love to each other as a
couple, the better disciplewe're being.
(26:26):
And that's what we're after.
Well done, good and faithfulservant.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Loving intentionally is loving by faith.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Amen, amen.
So anything else that we cantell them about Valentine's Day
and being personal and beingconsiderable and loving,
intentionally turning a consumerholiday into a holiday that
actually means something.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
It's a great place to restart, to reconnect, to
reboost your love, your passion,your romanticism and your
relationship.
Relationships need romance.
We have a couple we've knownfor a while now and they've been
married I don't even know howlong probably 30, 25, 30 years
and they intentionally have setout to every year valentine's
(27:12):
day is not february 14th, it'sfebruary 15th.
And it started when they wereyoung.
It started when they didn'thave, didn't have it so good,
and so he'd, he'd get all.
He'd go and he'd go to theflorist and he'd get the flowers
she liked the day after and theflorist was trying to unload
all the stuff they didn't sell,so he'd get a way bigger bouquet
for the same price.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
They'd go to the restaurant so they wouldn't be
busy, because it was literallythe day after the busiest day,
and they set their tradition.
And so let this be a seasonwhere you guys set your
tradition we set our traditionyears ago, right?
Or let it be a year where yourestart that tradition, right?
That's what we're here for Goodmarriages, good love, christ in
(27:56):
the center, loving by faith.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And you have lots of time to work on this.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Get ahead of it.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
No excuses.
We are holding you accountableand we want to hear how your
Valentine's Day goes, how yourseason of love goes.
So make sure that you check inwith us and you let us know if
this episode was helpful to youand if it helped you guys bring
in an entirely new meaning tothis holiday.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
We appreciate you being here with us for another
episode.
We hope that you got some greattakeaways.
Hit the playbook, check out theLove and Intentionally handout.
I forget what I called itbefore, but it'll be there,
it'll be ready.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
And you'll have stuff that you can use.
Absolutely so, kyle, since youspent all last month praying for
our people, I would like to goahead and volunteer a tribute
and pray for this month.
Pray for our love season andfor our couples out there who
are aiming to restart somethingor reconnect something new in
this holiday season.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
That's great, Bring it on.
Bring it on.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Lord Jesus, we just thank you so much for allowing
us to have this topic brought toour couples.
We thank you that you gave usthese ideas, that you gave us
these fresh, encouraging bits tohelp them, to edify them in
their relationship.
Lord, I pray that you wouldspeak to each listener and each
watcher right now, that youwould help them create a
(29:18):
personal and meaningful holidayof love for their partner, that
they would work together, thatthey would communicate, that
this would just tear down walls.
This would tear downinsecurities.
This would tear down doubts andfears of what could happen if
it could go wrong or breaking.
Just making it a holiday.
That shouldn't be what it isand, lord, I pray that you just
(29:40):
fill them with love, fill theirhearts and their intentions with
love and help them reconnecttogether in mind, body and
spirit.
And we just lift all of this upto you in Jesus's name.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Amen Amen.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Thank you guys so much for tuning in.
Remember, if you're on YouTubeand you are watching this, then
please like, share and subscribe.
If you guys are listening to uson Apple Podcasts or Spotify,
iheartradio, any of the otherlistening platforms, please make
sure to give us a five-starreview and leave us a review.
That helps us get the word out.
It helps other couples learnhow to love by faith faster.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
That's right.
We appreciate you being here.
We'll see you next time.
Man Live by faith.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Like by faith, love by faith.
Yay, see you guys next week.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
See you guys.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Bye, bye.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
You know how you always want like an end credit.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah, end credit scene.
Yeah, we're doing it right now.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
I took some time off on Valentine's Day, so I'll be
home early Valentine's.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Day for you, really Mm-hmm, yep, why.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
When Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
But when did you do this?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Earlier this week.
What?
Yeah, I had some time.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I was looking at my schedule and I was like I can do
this.
You took time off onValentine's.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Day.
Yeah, I'll be home early.
I'll be able to help with allthe kid stuff after school.
No, they don't have school.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
It was like a nightmare for me.
They have no school.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Well, I'll be there to help ease the transition to
bedtime Coming off of going intoa long weekend.
Yes, they have a four-dayweekend maybe we can watch a
movie with the kids yes, hangout yeah, it's so nice there we
go, but I'm still gettingflowers right you just said,
(31:22):
flowers didn't matter no, theydon't matter to them.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
They totally matter to me.
I love flowers.
Okay, that's what my birthdayis going to be all about.
That's the theme of my birthdayis blooming into.
Oh, okay, I'm not gonna shareit right now.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
All right, it's too soon our episode, for our pilot,
with the bleep in it, it haslike the most views yeah that's
so funny.
Yeah, I gotta go time's up no,I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I got things to do.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
I got things to do all right time to go live by
faith cheers good day.
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