All Episodes

July 25, 2024 144 mins

Summary: The band is hired by Mr. Johnson to retrieve the deed to a haunted mansion. During the mission, they discover another page of the ancient book and encounter ghosts and ghouls having a secret dance party.

Metalomnicon playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJkIgqEjOXJVuwfAhnrxx2CI3JaYH6Ab2

Metalomnicon is a Shadowrun campaign that streams every Sunday at 4pm PST on https://www.twitch.tv/thegrouchcouch

Music by Epidemic Sound

Art by: @childrenofproteus

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DM: Turk https://www.instagram.com/turkiedude/

Ahnonka: Kate https://www.instagram.com/childrenofproteus/

Roger Rageface: Conner

Aeon King: Emmy @forgeoflore https://www.instagram.com/emmysartstuff/

Website: https://thegrouchcouch.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegrouchcouch/

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0kVibgwLEIgtrcIjXnbvo5

Merch Store: https://streamlabs.com/thegrouchcouch/merch

#shadowrun #actualplay

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello one and all and welcome back to Metal Omnicon this here is episode 3. I am your chaotic dungeon master Turk

(00:08):
That's right, and I'll be leading the band through the story tonight as always
We're gonna have some fun tonight welcome back
And thank you so much for continuing on this adventure with us on the grouch couch metal Omnicon
This has been great so far if you got any feedback for us
Please make sure to hit it in the comments and subscribe while you're here. Thank you, but look it's not only me
Here doing this story of course. I'm here with the band say hello band

(00:32):
That's right, I'm here with Kate Connor and emmy. Hi. I'm proteus a fun fact about me is I have a
Documented fake fear of penguins hello everybody. I'm
I'm Connor
Otherly known as psycho stache captain stache a fun fact about me is that I'm I'm very powerful this this last week

(00:54):
I managed to hit a target that was 1600 meters away, bro
Yeah, pretty sick dude. That's pretty sick. Oh fun fact about me is I love archery. I I've never shot a bow oh
Sad and fun fact about me. I love gardening
Please make sure to check out the metal Omnicon merch if you want it a bunch of really cool band merch

(01:18):
Also, if you didn't know already the metal Omnicon album it is the first EP volume one is on Spotify if you listen to it's
A metal album of this guy's band that we're playing right here
And you can check it out that and if you're listening here on Spotify, please make sure to rate the show alright
Now I think one thing I did forget anyone else who's watching along here

(01:38):
We will be playing the shadow run anarchy system
This is kind of us taking our first steps into shadow run and anarchy is a really good introduction system
Yeah, and it's really awesome if you're interested in shadow run anarchy
We will not be doing the narrative initiative that the game suggests for do we're playing it like a normal tabletop game
But we are inspired about their narrative initiative thing which isn't what they call it. It's just what I call it

(01:59):
So love the idea of a narrative initiative, and we will be doing a different show about all that goodness okay everybody
I'm excited for tonight's story
It is episode 3 is one another reminder that we will be doing 12 episodes of the metal Omnicon campaign and then from there
Who knows where we're gonna?
Go, I don't know but for now we're doing 12 very excited tonight is 3 and we're gonna hop into the story and have some
Fucking fun quick at it. Hello back to the beginning me. I'm doing a new rule couch coins

(02:24):
You know him we had a lot of practice with him last episode the rule
I want to embed now with the shadow run system it makes sense no dice roll needed
They can just spend a couch coin for a success
All right, okay, I'll spend a couch coin then need back to the show now
We will be doing our intro of course with our lovely metal Omnicon song and cranium. Carl is gonna do another recap for us

(03:12):
What's cracking you metal beasts and mystical freaks?
It's your ghostly host with the most cranium carl here to dish out the dirt of last week's absolutely insane episode of metal
Omnicon step in cuz this one's a while right dude
So starts with metal Omnicon tearing it up on stage unleashing a bloodfest. It's not just heavy. It's other-dimensional
Looks at this master's roaming vision flashing and Roger. He totally wipes out seeing an old corporate pal in the crowd

(03:38):
But bro, he rises up with the sound so metal it probably rusted the PA speakers
The crew hooks up with Cassandra a hot sassy witch who's all about that magic life, man
She clues in the band about needing to find this dude called the crow at the midnight market. Oh and Roger
Yeah, it's into a slap fight with the family

(03:59):
He can't stand classic Roger man at the midnight market Roger strategy is top-notch dude yelling at random people to find the crow
And guess what it freaking works turns out the crow is a king koo with the lowdown on the mystical pace
They said it's part of a book that can summon or snooze an Asian creature with a lullaby Rogers all summon it man
Hell yeah

(04:19):
But the plot thickens when Anonka are blind and insightful Janasi senses pickles Rogers colleague from the concert spying on them
Despite being sightless. She's the one who catches him not the other two with fully working peepers, dude
Yeah, since my guys Roger and the gang chased down pickles put pin them on the ground and flip them into a double agent
Talk about a plot twist and just when you think it's all chill a bunch of corporate goons crash the party demanding the book page

(04:44):
It's a full-on brawl with Anonka slipping into the astral plane to duke it out with the spiritual baddie
Well, I on and Roger handled the corporate chaos, dude
If you thought your Sunday was intense
You got nothing on metal Omnicon tune in this week to see how our heroes handle the heat and remember stay metal
Statistical and rock the fuck out dude

(05:05):
Okay, boys and girls it's time for story. Yes it is now
Again, it's been a couple of weeks since anything interesting has happened to metal Omnicon
But our story returns in a very fun moment in their bandily lives
Let me set the scene for you. Our episode starts with you guys
at a very popular
biker bar here in

(05:25):
In you know the more underground scene of Grimory our world this
biker bar is called the heebie-jeebie
Now heebie-jeebie is a vibrant and chaotic spot
filled with sounds of thrashing guitars and pounding drums the walls covered in graffiti band posters and the tables are littered with zines and

(05:47):
Flyers and the air is thick with the scent of coffee leather and even a hint of rebellion a small stage in the corner
hosts all different kinds of impromptu performances and allows anyone to perform at any time that they want and
The clientele here is a mix of punks metalheads encounter culture enthusiasts
But the special thing about this here heebie-jeebie bar is that is run by Dart

(06:10):
Dart is a dwarf biker gang known for their stance against racism towards awakened and fey people
Dart is full of all different kinds of dwarves of different shapes and sizes
But Dart itself stands for dwarves against racial treatment
They run this bar and they accept people of all different kinds

(06:30):
Now sitting around in this bar you guys can even see dwarves with leather jackets that have the same
Symbol of an arrow going upwards and letters that say dart on the back of their vests
Now you guys find yourselves here a lot because not only does heebie-jeebie host bands playing music
They also their owner and proprietor allows you guys to sell your merch here to make some extra cash on the weekdays

(06:55):
And that's my friends where we begin our story
You guys are hanging out in this bar trying to sell merch to make some extra cash as we begin
I would love to start with the dice roll the dice roll. We're going to make right now is
Anonka Anonka you're using your astral powers to come up with a brand new merch design of your guys's previous

(07:18):
Adventures you've promised everyone on your social media this amazing new merch design
It's gonna be super awesome
and they should come by the heebie-jeebie to pick it up and so what I want to do right now is make it check and
If you succeed it's actually something really cool
But if you fail the idea is there but it's kind of like me on the merch side

(07:39):
That's fair. Well, I am hungover. So that's that's fair
You're gonna roll. Oh, well, she only got a beat a zero
So you're gonna succeed
Which is wild I'm gonna use willpower
sweet
and a little bit of charisma
Okay, cuz

(07:59):
Gotta make it please into the eye willpower to bring us into the astral plane mentally
But a little bit of Zazz when we bring it back out onto the fabric, you know
Nice
Hell yeah
Let's go tappi tappi toe
Tappi tappi toe
For successes, that's pretty damn good. I think so

(08:22):
Do you want to describe to us how this meditative state looks while you're searching for this thing and maybe an idea of your new
Merch design so how this works is I have this little brass bowl
Hmm, that's right and it's filled with water that I collect like rain water that I collected on the full moon
and I have this knife and

(08:45):
Essentially what happens is in this meditative state I find the image
like I go searching through the astral plane and other dimensions and
Once I find the image I plunge the knife into the bowl full of water
swirl it around and then dump the water onto a cloth and the cloth

(09:07):
produces the image that I've seen in the other plane of existence
very cool
I love that. I'd like to think it's some sort of tree
with all like it would look like a cherry blossom like a
Sakura tree, but instead of blossoming flowers, it's it's like eyeballs and veins coming off

(09:31):
Hmm. Hell yeah
Ah with the bat but with like an image of the band kind of superimposed in front of it like either
Pretty I think praising the tree like bowing down to the power of the the eyeball tree
Okay, badass. All right sick
So you make these shirts and you're in the corner making these shirts and our camera is gonna cut over to Roger

(09:56):
sitting in the bar
Next to a dwarf the dwarf has a really long brown and gray scraggly beard hinting at his wisdom
And you guys are having a conversation about
sex changes and he goes
You're gonna fucking do what now?
What's wrong with your chest mate? Oh, well, you see

(10:18):
In my mind, there's three ways to
To get tits. Oh
Yeah
the first way is gonna be probably the most expensive way which is a
surgery and
You know, you got the healing time, you know feel good cuz you got cuts in the end shit like that

(10:42):
So, you know next option is gonna be probably just as expensive but also
Yeah, maybe feel a little better about it. Who knows but that's what's a there a pheromone therapy
Yeah, you grow you grow the boobies over time with chemicals, right?
Gross, you know last method is my favorite method

(11:07):
You get to build your own
And you do this by honing your body in the gym and just watching your chest grow into a mountain of
Flesh that consumes all plus when you lay sideways you look down your shirt. You have cleavage. It's pretty cool. Oh

(11:28):
So you mean to tell me if I were to go to the gym then I could just look down me own shirt, you know
Yeah
Oh
ATT I see all
Your funny one there. Yeah
I learned that one from my neighbor
I
The time you're done

(11:49):
Doing this and saying this I feel like there's a bunch of dwarves that have kind of gathered around you and you're listening in as well
I want you to make me a charisma check against an average difficulty role here
That's a two beat a two
Physically cannot charisma charisma. I only have one Chris
So you roll charisma charisma together. You have to succeed on both of your roles

(12:12):
Oh
You fail your role and the dwarves standing around all kind of chuckle to themselves
And they're like slamming back their drinks and stuff and they look at you and they're like

(12:34):
Hey stupid goblin thinks he knows about boobs. I bet this man's never been with any female in his whole life
Are you a virgin goblin? Oh, I see you're a fan here. Let me get that for you
Where do you sign him on his face on his forehead his forehead he's like, oh fucking Jesus Christ
I mean licks his hand. He's like wiping it off. So this conversation is happening and

(12:58):
Lastly we're gonna cut over to eon now
There's another special thing with this bar
The owner and proprietor of this bar is also someone who used to work with
mortalis and
He worked with him for a long time and one of the reasons he started dart was because he realized the way that mortalis kind
Of treated a lot of the other people and he came into his dwarfism later on in life

(13:23):
And so he was used to be a lot like you he was a normal human
He was working with him and stuff like that and after all the shit went down
He broke off with mortalis much like you did and started up this biker bar and you know has a whole thing here
So that's what you guys kind of have an open stay here. Storff approaches you while you're sitting by yourself
Drinking a drink thinking about everything that's just recently happened. I imagine you're sitting there knitting

(13:48):
something and
He approaches you know him
Tavon talks just redeemed random item dwarf throws this a on
Of course he does. Thanks for she at got you
Okay, so while you're knitting you hear the sound of whooshing and then in the wall behind your head

(14:10):
lands an axe
It's a tomahawk
You look up and you see his name is Ziggy people call him gizmo
He is a small dwarf with wild curly hair and large large round glasses
And he's wearing an apron that's covered in oil stains coffee stains and other things that you can't

(14:36):
possibly imagine
He walks up to you he sees you and he goes oh hey, y'all nah
Yeah, that axe there. I made it for ya. Just testing it out
Yeah, that axe there. I made it for ya. Just testing it out
That's for you. Oh my oh

(14:56):
My goodness you
You absolute sweetheart you knew about my birthday, too. Didn't you oh?
Today's your yes
No, not today. Oh
It's tomorrow. Oh
Tomorrow's your birthday. Okay. Yes, I'll keep yeah, yeah
Yeah, and he pulls out the chair sits down next to you bottle opener on a beer, and he's like

(15:24):
So yeah, and I uh
You know we've never really connected me and you I think you know we both left the old mortalis together and
You know you used to be one of the best
hunting down
The evil fey you know doing your thing
How does your feeling you went full vampire and had to leave?

(15:49):
Oh
That's that's quite a personal question, but um yeah the shame yeah lots of shame for being
fooled into thinking that
Anybody was less than me
Hmm you know did you go through that too?
Well, yes, I did you know there was a couple times that I was approached by

(16:11):
I was approached by you know the warren women looking to start her relationship with me, and I turned them down because they weren't normal
Now look at me. Well. You're just a handsome devil. You keep your chin up
Thanks for that. I do appreciate it
You know all this awakened business it'll get to you. It'll get to you

(16:33):
Yeah, I definitely still have my days
You know they the all-consuming fire of rage that wells within my soul
You know, but it's fine. I'm fine, and I hope you're fine
Yeah, I'm doing just good yeah

(16:54):
Yeah, I just know you know you were the best mark there was you know so many monsters you took down and
And it's crazy to see this life. We live now
You know and you look so much younger too from when you were working there. It's almost like you've de-aged

(17:14):
Yeah, it's I'm pretty sure the blood it's really really de-aging me. I feel great
You know that's good to the good to know how old are you oh?
You know
Right right. I do know yeah
Okay, well you guys always have a spot here at heebie-jeebie, and if anyone ever gives you any shit
Take them out back and beat them. Oh, and I'm

(17:38):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the conversation of course of course
Hey, yeah, still trying to find a way to
You know get back into mortality said not in with him, but get back into their base and sabotage
Mortals is a bunch of fascists
Right right I see your blind friend agrees
Very much get in there. You know get some sabotage going and

(18:01):
Be careful. You know cuz they're dangerous and um you know I don't want to be like them and spread rumors
But they suck they do suck good thing they ain't one of the supreme ten you know cuz those guys suck even fucking more
Rich bastards very true. Yeah turn with the government
I'm gonna get back to my guys
You know and if you ever find yourself kind of dwarven for whatever reason

(18:24):
You're welcome to Jordan dark. We'd be happy to have you. Oh, thank you
Hmm. That's I'm very flattered and he stands up and
Picks up his beard scoots the chair in he waddles away, but then he turns
Turns back and inside of his apron he pulls out a little black rose, and he's like

(18:45):
Jerry up happy birthday
Thank you, oh my god, that's just what I wanted
Oh, I was gonna say I'm gonna hand him a little crocheted upside down cross
Nice nice. He's like all very good. Yes
Well, you know if I okay, well, thank you, and he puts it back in his pocket

(19:12):
Come back over to Roger and they're all like you're a fucking idiot talking about tits that way
And Ziggy comes over he's like what's this guy on about now? Oh, yeah
Yeah, well you see the thing is um there's a line to get our merch guys
So you could just file through this would make it a lot easier
There is actually four heads what happens next Anonka you can't see them

(19:36):
But a pink a punk with brightly colored pink hair and multiple piercings
Walks up to your merch booth they seem very eager to support the band and they say dude
I love your music so much. I will take one of the new designs
I seen it on social media, and I have to have it. I'm trying to collect all of your shirts, man
Oh, well, there's new stuff all the time love that's gonna be quite hard because sometimes there's only like

(20:01):
One or two, but I like your gumshan kid nice. How much are your shirts?
Uh 25 whatever dollars we use in this universe credits dollars dollars
All right, yeah, keep it simple stupid 25 dollars doll hair
dollars

(20:23):
Yeah
Alisa beef and lichtenstein coins
Gives you the money which you do actually find a little bit fascinating because in this world
A lot of people use their checks to get their money
Because in this world a lot of people use their chips like we've spoken about before that have embedded in their wrists
Keep track of their finances, but a lot of people in this underground scene still use paper money

(20:46):
Because they don't trust the government obviously but in a lot of places you go
People won't even accept paper money in most cases, but he knows that you guys are down and you're cool
So he gives you cash money
25 bucks and he picks up a shirt and he puts it over his shoulder and he wanders away excellent
I love it cool
So what we're gonna do now is we're gonna finish off the scene here at the biker bar

(21:08):
If there's anything specific either one of you guys want to do
Additionally if you want to try and sell more shirts
We can actually make charisma checks to see if you guys can make some extra scratch
Okay, if that's what you want to do. Yeah, I want to sell some more merch. Let's go charisma checks. Hell. Yeah
I want to make it an easy check
And each success you get above

(21:29):
A zero will sell you a shirt
We'll sell you a shirt
Five more shirts
Bad ass
Um, so it's 125. That's 150 150 total. That's 150. Yeah, that's right
Well after i'm done signing all these guys foreheads do I really have a lot of fans here?

(21:53):
um
I'm gonna be like, uh, those weren't free autographs. I'm gonna need a fifth
Fuck's roll me charisma check
Uh, you gotta beat a three you can't
I can't

(22:14):
Oh, all right. Okay. I'll spend a couch coin then you still only get two. Oh, yeah, that's right shit
I'm gonna get that. Yeah, it's only have two successes. So there's still some limitations to it. Yeah
Oh, there goes the couch coin

(22:36):
You don't have to
You have to spend it. Um, okay. Well, they all kind of laugh at you dm steve underscore forge of low use drear old turk
Oh me smart
Oh, I got a one which means you could spin that couch coin roger to succeed

(23:01):
Let's do that, okay, here's a do it hell yeah, okay
You ask them off for 50 bucks and uh, the collective little bit of dwarves standing around look at each other
And you hear them murmur to each other they go
Oh, well, we're not the lake fans of their show or whatever. But
The lad really needs the money for his titty surgery. Don't he?

(23:23):
Well, oh, yeah, he thought either some protein supplements for the gym. What was the collective decision on? What's the best way?
I don't know, but he really wants tits. Let's give it to him
And they um each hands you a couple dollars. They don't give you a 50. But what I'm gonna do is multiply
This here
Um

(23:44):
Total that's four five you get seventy dollars
in total
um
And uh at the very end the last dwarf who hands you a couple dollars he goes
Just make sure you come around and show me your tits once you have them deal
You come to the show. I'll show them to you after you buy a ticket
Oh

(24:10):
What are you doing roger
What do you mean? What am I doing?
You're up to something. I was signing weevils foreheads. They're all the way down there
The dwarfs, um, i'm gonna try to find somebody
and
um
Tempt them to play chess with me

(24:30):
For ten bucks is this kind of like fooling them that you suck and then you're really good or like yep
So this is like a deception kind of thing this biker bar and even um, ziggy knows how much you like chess
So I feel like ziggy has like this digital chess set in the corner that doesn't get a lot of use unless you're there
Um, but this is cyberpunk urban fantasy. So it's like a digital chess set you go over there

(24:53):
You push the button and it all turns on and you can just talk to it or you can just point pieces and it's like a
Projection of the pieces and there are people all around some elves and dwarves is definitely an orc
Um, she's gonna go up to the orc and she's gonna take out her glasses and put them on like real slow and be like
Hey
Hi, you want to play some chess with me?

(25:16):
chess for
Old people oh for fun
Yeah, well, oh, come on now. Come on. We're young at heart, right? You're young. We're young. We're all it's fine
I just want to play some chess. I need to practice
My my grandkids are kicking my ass. You want to help me out?
Young vampire lady have grandkids. How old are I wasn't always a vampire, but um also

(25:43):
I don't know right right. That's true
Okay. Yeah, I don't know
Oh, there you go. Make me charisma check
That's gonna be the running gag i'm gonna have every npc hasco old you are then you just go, you know
All right
Oh my god, um, so just uh charisma. Yeah

(26:04):
Okay
Okay. Yeah, there we go. That's a five. He's like, oh
uh
I mean you have four successes above my one. I would I would love to play chess with you
You uh, maybe it's not for old people
No, it's not it's very fun very young and fresh
Yeah

(26:25):
Okay. Well, let's go
He gets up from the tiny little dwarven chair big old orc and I feel like I actually have a picture of him
Oh, and I had a picture of of ziggy as well. Um, he's got some cybernetics in his forehead that I forgot to show
Uh, oh
That's ziggy with his graying beard. There we have it
He's daddy

(26:46):
He's like, oh
I'll do this with you and he goes over to the chess set and he sits down way big in the little chair
Um, we're gonna do a contested check. Uh, we'll do wisdom logic checks. What that most do
Chat chat we're looking for funny names for this orc. Um, i'm going to do an easy roll is what i'm gonna do

(27:11):
And then you do wisdom logic. All right
All right
Okay, orc toretto. He makes a comeback
You got a five. I got a zero
So he's playing he doesn't quite understand he's like, oh no, oh
The the horse can move in an l

(27:33):
Is it like oh?
lowercase l
Or upper
Oh, I mean, yeah. No, you're getting you're doing great. Yeah
Okay
uh
Well, I lose
I guess I

(27:53):
We people always bet on this game. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fun, right?
How much did I bet? I don't remember
Ten whole dollars. Oh
Ten dollars useless
You may have but before he gives you the money. I would like you to look through all those names and chat
There was a fuck ton and pick a name for

(28:17):
Orc man. Oh
Oh god
Jimmy two tusks that that that
I also want to give a shout out to cuddles. I'm certifiable nerd. I feel like that was
Really good. Yeah in fracas with chester chester was really good because he's playing chess good on your frog

(28:38):
Um, yeah, those are my shout outs
Steve did say, oh, that's great. That's fair
Damn me
It's just because it was it was two tusks it was jimmy two tusks this time me two shoes nice
Okay, uh jimmy
Jason ten dollars this day

(29:01):
I will learn this game of chess
And when you come back, I will win you don't know. Oh
I really believe in you buddy. You are just a formidable opponent
Jimmy two tusks put his name to something he win
He win
Moving on to the next scene, uh, you guys leave the bar

(29:22):
You know a little buzz little happy smelling like leather and cigarettes and you're packing up your merch stuff and loading it back into the bus
Of course the magic ghoul bus. Excuse me. The magic ghoul bus is a converted tour tour bus that has been transported or
Transformed into a mobile fortress inside again
It's a mix of comfort and chaos filled with instruments recording equipment and flowers and other kinds of crazy stuff and the bus's exteriors

(29:47):
Adorned glowing runes protective charms and a big old painting of roger
now
As you guys finish packing up your stuff and you begin to relax in the bus you open up the back curtains
To find mr. Johnson sitting on the very back couch of your bus
Uh, mr. Johnson is an elf that's always dressed in a very fancy suit

(30:10):
He is their band manager and he also hooks him up with jobs and he's usually found smoking a cigar
Um, he looks a little something like that
And he's like, oh
goodness, uh
okay, well
Gather around band because
I've got your new job

(30:31):
Oh
Good job. That's always exciting
More work
You don't even like us
Of course, I like you
In my bullshit, you're my children. I treat you well
You didn't you didn't even bring me an edible arrangement this time. Look at me. I'm over here

(30:53):
Starving that's right bitches like roger don't want flowers. They want edible arrangements
I brought an edible arrangement one time and now it's expected
My goblin I got hot blood running through my veins
That blood needs
Accession and food but all you want out of me is work

(31:17):
You hate us
I can't I can't live like this anymore
He's like hold on now roger i'm so sorry I
Didn't I bring you your cheesecake?
It's your last show
That wasn't enough dildo. It's what you asked for

(31:38):
It's like any corporate douchebag only doing the bare minimum of what's at
minimum and we're here wasting away
Why you're just whipping at our backs asking for more work
I bet you get meat
Satisfactory on every corporate review you've ever gotten you've never gotten exceeds the standard

(32:01):
Hey, listen, listen, man
Can you do can you do me a solid?
Sure, can can you not be a fucking robot all the time? It's kind of a bummer
All right, you know, I don't really know how to not be a
Robot you can you teach me? That's what i'm talking about right there as a robot behavior

(32:23):
Is it not can you teach me to be a living thing? I don't have time for that. I'm a performer
I'm a performer. That's worth the bomb. I'm a performer
Mr. Johnson, where's your off switch?
Do you have a reset button?
Okay, look guys
Guys just a second now. I'm here to help you. All right

(32:48):
Okay, oh we just flipped your switch
Enough with the shenanigans
Trying to appease you but now i'm starting to feel offended
Like i'm not here for you. I thought the cheesecake was delicious. I thought you did great. Well, thank you
Yeah, at least someone appreciates it
Next time you won't get fucking jack's shit

(33:09):
huh
Oh, how about that for robot talk? Oh, yeah. All right roger. Jesus. He's sulking now. Why is he sulking?
Oh, it's been a rough day. Yeah. All right a bunch of dwarves made fun of his tits
Oh

(33:31):
You made me laugh couch coin couch coin for making me laugh
He leans back
On the couch in the back of the bus. He's surrounded by a haze of smoke
Cigar smoke as he blows it out. His eyes do seem sharp and his demeanor goes to all business
And he says

(33:52):
All right. Listen up folks
kids
I've got a job for you
There's an old mansion
on the outskirts of town
haunted as hell apparently
the deed to this place is uh worth a fortune and
I need you guys to get in there and get it

(34:13):
But be careful
Because apparently the place is crawling with spirits and who the fuck knows what else
You guys think you can handle this?
I don't know
Hell yeah, probably
You know when you hired me to join this band
You said we take down the corpos

(34:35):
Aren't you just having us do like little petty jobs?
I signed on to dismantle the government. Here's the thing. Maybe we're building up to that. Yeah, we've got a high bidder
a high bidder who's not a corpo
Who's looking to?
Get this house take it into their own possession

(34:58):
Sell it and use that money to fund some things that might take down the corpos, but here's the kicker
Here this mansion used to be owned by a corpo who recently passed away
oh
so
If it makes you feel any better. So roger you can shit all over the corpo's stuff

(35:19):
You can break into a corpo's house and shit all over
Oh, we'll fill you up on some some beans and some cheese. We all know how lactose intolerant you are
No, i'm just intolerant. Yeah. Well, i'm gonna give you guys 10 karma if you manage to complete this job
For me now you need to get in there get the deed bring it back to me. He stands he dusts himself off

(35:42):
You can you see for a split second
He legit does turn around and looks at his back to see if any of the sticky bits on the couch stayed with him
And he scoots around a little table like excuse me
Excuse me
There's wet wipes next to where bob sits
All right. Thanks. He walks over he grabs a couple wet wipes. He's like wiping himself down

(36:03):
He's like do this job metal omnicon
Next time around I may have something a little bit more fun for you and he opens the door to the bus and steps out
Have fun with your dry cleaning bell
Trying to get comb stains out of a wall

(36:24):
Oh, that's a rough day. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't have recommended that
Sitting there
I smelled like a new suit. You can still kind of smell the lanolin on it
Not now
Not now now. It's just got a bubbling spunk all over it

(36:46):
Oh, I know that sound just close the curtain lame
Yeah, you do your thing buddy
Okay, you guys have your mission you're here in the bus bob zombie is just waiting for directions from you

(37:06):
As you look at him sitting in the front seat. He's just talking to
Alfred the ai just talking to him by himself
But you guys can go anywhere and do anything you want to do
at this point here in the city, so
Once again, we're at this point in the show where you lead the way. What do you do?

(37:26):
Oh, buddy, no
How's things with alfred going pretty good he's learning you know
Trying to teach him, you know like
What my favorite things are you know?
like
You know, I'm here
You know i'm here, you know, i'm cool. Just want to get the job done

(37:47):
You know i'm playing drums for a long time teaching him about that, you know
All about how I got turned into a zombie and everything. It's pretty cool. He's a good friend of mine, man
Well, that's brilliant
Yeah
Did you get did you get your supplement of of of brain puree?
Oh, yeah this morning. Yeah, i've been eating it but i'm almost out though, man

(38:09):
So keep an eye out for some more brains for me, man
Of course, you know, you know us if we if we splatter it around we'll we always scoop it up in a baggie for you
Nice. Thanks man. Appreciate that. I can always stop by blood bucks
Oh, yeah, you guys want to go to blood bucks man. I can drive us there. We're here at blood bucks man

(38:30):
What do you guys want dude? They got sandwiches here too dude like yeah something greasy, please
Because like the windows on the bus i picture like all of them open and your heads stick out like scooby-doo style
And this is like a big ass venue and you can see on the inside
Of blood bucks. There's like no lights. It's all like black lights like super dim

(38:51):
All the windows are like blacked out and the drive-through window opens up
And there's like this vampire woman with like sleek purple hair and like violet eyes
But super pale skin and she just got blood dripping down her mouth
And she goes welcome to blood bucks. What can I get you?
Can I get a blood sausage on a bagel, please

(39:14):
Uh, yeah for sure. Uh, what kind of blood sausage do you want? Um
We've got orc big horse
cow
uh
cow
All right
You're not from the same town
I'm all right. You're not afraid of the mad cow disease

(39:36):
No, i'm mad enough already. It'll be fine. All right, that's fair
Anything else
Aeon the roach
Now
I don't know what happened. What happened eon? Yeah, damn it. Sorry. I was muted

(39:57):
Uh, can I get an ab?
Uh grande with low fat o positive if if that would be yep
ab grande low fat positive, uh, you want foam on that cheers, but uh
always
Okay, and uh
Bloody drizzle

(40:17):
Uh, no i'm gonna pass on that. Thank you. All right, that's fair
Roger she just stares at you roger. I don't want anything
You know what? Fuck that
I'm taking my pants off and sticking my ass out the window and as we pull away from
Blood bucks. I'm just gonna fart at the drive-through window

(40:37):
Nice she goes. All right, that'll be second window. Go ahead and uh pull forward. That'll be uh, eight
dollars and uh, Roger whenever your ass is out the window
I feel like she reaches out and tries to take a bite on your ass
So she's gonna try to attack you. Um, and I need you to give me a defense check against her

(41:02):
Oh, she's gonna get a mouthful of fart first. I hope she knows that
Agility logic, she's gonna get she's gonna get a wretched case of pinkie. I got a four
Agility logic, why would it be the logic to think to move out of the way?

(41:23):
You also got a four so she barely skims it coughs on the fart and uh, it's resolved as you can see
You also got a four so she barely skims it coughs on the fart and uh, it's resolved as you barely get by
She doesn't manage to get a bite out of your butt. DM Steve underscore forge of low use three roll Roger

(41:46):
He said get bit
Um,
Two
Uh, if you have physical, uh, that's good because you're gonna take uh with the extra two you're taking three physical damage

(42:09):
Um, it's gonna go towards your armor if you have it
Um, oh no, she's biting him on the arse. She bites you in the ass
Um, but what happens is whenever she bites you your ass begins to burn
Um real bad and the veins on your ass start to show as they slowly turn black all around the bite mark

(42:33):
Ah, I'm in poison
So I need to suck it up
Oh
Vampire poison this
Blood box wiper. This is why we tell you not to put your ass out there

(43:01):
Okay
So
You know aeon we have those wet cupping suction cups you could have just sucked it out by putting the
Frog toys to just redeem random item emmy for sucking the poison

(43:23):
It's all right, it was just a little I mean, I don't mind goblin blood too much. There's the
There's the poison found it rogers painful the ass
I'm well
What you do for family?
Goodness feel better
So aeon what else is from your tame?

(43:44):
I do say uh, I will say interrupt your real couch coin is you do feel that morgues just redeemed couch coin
And I do feel that
Being a vampire herself eon was successfully able to remove the
vampire curse
Poison from your ass
But we almost got a vamp goblin. You're a little sore when you sit a little sore

(44:09):
Uh, where's my where's my hammer? I don't I?
Right from front in the back you get a collapsible crossbow
Um, super cool. It's a light crossbow. I think one of the cool things about this crossbow as well
Is that it's a silent weapon? Um, so if you're ever trying to do any kind of stealthy things
Crossbows are quiet

(44:29):
So, oh, I love that. Yeah. Thank you
There you have it
All right, you guys enjoy your drinks you sit on your
Hemorrhoid donut there roger and you guys drive up the hill to the haunted mansion up in the arts district of

(44:50):
Grimory bob zombie is fueled up on brains talking to his brand new friend alfred and the bus is hauling ass
Up a dirt road to a mansion you can see up ahead
The bus comes to a screaming halt
You three step out
of the bus

(45:12):
And look over at your new job
the mansion
It looms ahead of you
it's
Gothic architecture
Casting eerie shadows into the moonlight the iron gate creaks as you push it open
And the overgrown garden rustles with unseen movement

(45:33):
As you step up the stairs the wood creaks
the door already open
Awaiting your entry
What do you do
Now looks like they've been expecting us
Should we just go in yeah weird

(45:57):
I don't see anything weird about this
It's very
Bad
I'm gonna put up my invisibility cloak
nice
you when I see them like
disappear and do do that i'm gonna uh
Uh drop to the ground and start rolling around tactically

(46:28):
Just on the ground like a mystery
I'm over here now
Roger in the bushes, um, okay
The house door creaks open

(46:53):
Inside
You all get inside one way or the other
Here the air is thick with dust and there's a faint smell of decay
As you three
Go up this first initial hallway. You can see there are cobwebs hanging from all of the chandeliers

(47:14):
And the portraits on the walls
All seem to follow you with their eyes
Please eventually
You make it to the end of the hallway and through the door in front of you floats
A very translucent ghost of a woman

(47:44):
She is
Is
Scary she wears a white gown she floats about three feet above the air and her sorrowful eyes
Reflect centuries of loneliness here
She looks down at you three she says
I am lady eveline

(48:07):
Free me from this place
And I will reveal to you secrets long forgotten
Do you know what holds you

(48:28):
She gazes down at you
She goes
I am tormented
I
Worked for a company that I did not support
I was murdered here

(48:52):
And she goes out the wall just floats away
Yeah, now there's a door in front of you guys and you just encountered that
Did she go through a wall or through the door through a wall

(49:14):
Uh
All right in my cloak that that makes me more invisible and fade into the shadows
I'm gonna find my way to a corner of the room and sit myself down
And put myself in like an astral projection

(49:34):
kind of mode
so I can more freely observe the house and see where there might be more spirits and
tethers
You know when I wrote this I didn't think about that at all so I'm gonna have to throw away my notes right now
That's fine. That's fucking fine. All right

(49:56):
You forgot one of us could do spirit shite
Yeah, well, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. Okay, please continue
Um, no that was that was the plan. All right, you get down on your knees
And
Go into your meditative state while your two friends protect you

(50:17):
You float up and you float out this door
This door opens up into another hallway. That's just full of
All different kinds of stuff you can see each one of the paintings on the walls with their eyes that are following you
Seem to have some kind of spiritual energy attached to them as you continue to float up the hallway just looking

(50:39):
You see some things just fly across the room
And you look to see an angry spirit just hucking candles and phones and books
Just throwing them pissed off
As you go further you begin to hear
Thumping like base from music

(51:05):
And at this point you've gotten
About as far as you can get from your body without me making you make a check. So would you like to continue?
I'll make a check. All right
I need you
you're gonna make me a

(51:26):
Magic check what it was astral power. It's willpower. Is it willpower? It's it's willpower
All right
so would it be willpower willpower or just
Just one willpower
You're using astral projection
Which I think yeah double willpower let's do it

(51:51):
You only have to be the three
That's a two
If you want to give yourself two successes
Do you want to give yourself two successes with the two couch coins you have?
I have two
Yeah, why not?

(52:12):
Okay, because you started with one and then I gave you one but now you're at zero
All right
You succeed
And you push a little bit further there are a few doors to go a few different places and you begin poking your head in
different doors and each one of the doors has a different set of like furniture and one of them's like an office room another one's like a bathroom a jacuzzi room etc a bunch of like rich people shit but each one of the rooms has something magical going on with it something in a different kind of way one of the rooms that you pop into the office just as a spirit just sitting in an office chair reading a book you know that to the other two guys if they would have walked in this room before you you know that they would have walked in this room before you

(52:57):
They would have just seen a floating book for no reason and that would have been really cool
But since you're doing this you just see a spirit reading a book
But i'm not bitter
I'm not mad about it at all. No, i'm not and and
In my own words, i'm not mad. I'm just disappointed

(53:20):
Yes
Um, and each one of these rooms is something weird going on with it. Um, needless to say there are multiple multiple poltergeists seem to also have been trapped here
um, and without some smart
pathing
you would you and your party would absolutely run into them and have some issues

(53:42):
but
You can kind of gauge with your knowledge kind of where they are and what the best path is to kind of take
And eventually you make it to another end of a hallway
Where once again if you would like to continue we'll have to make another check
Okay, why not what has anything so far

(54:03):
felt
important
Or does it just feel like average spirits and poltergeists?
just kind of
anchored to a place does anything feel like
Like i think it's a really good question. She is anchored to it. I don't think
The spirit that talked to you previously is anchored to any of these things. She definitely had a different kind of glow about her

(54:27):
But a lot of these spirits seem evil
like unhappy
um, and very angry that they're stuck here and how they got stuck here you're not aware
Um, there are definitely some weird kind of relics and other kinds of things in some of these rooms
That could be worth something if you were willing to risk going in there with the party and fighting poltergeists

(54:52):
But other than that that's about it
Okay, then I think i'll make another check all right, let's do it
It's a four
That's a three with a real couch coins

(55:15):
You have reached the end of your limit certifiable unders corner juice tree roll anonka
All right, my boy
That's a two
A two that's worse. That's worse. You've reached your limit about how far you can go. Did you go back to your body?

(55:39):
Or do you want to double check anything else?
Uh, I think
I think i'm gonna start heading back to my body
but if
If I can glean that anything feels more important i'll i'll mark it in my brain
As where we should stop when I when I go back to the other two

(56:01):
Where i've been like, let's go into this room
Okay
Let me see here then
Um in the room with the office
The book that the poltergeist is reading seems to be magical

(56:22):
Um, and it's a powerful kind of magic
But other than that there's nothing of super importance that you can get
So let's go back to the other room
Um, but other than that, there's nothing of super importance that you can get
Okay, okay, all right, then I will go back to my body

(56:46):
All right
You go back into your body
You wake up
Can I interject?
Yeah, absolutely
Actually when she wakes up, can I be in the corner of the room pissing?
Sure, man. Yeah for sure

(57:07):
All right, what information do you relay to these guys all of it some of it
Well, yeah all of it, uh, i've made it about two grand hallways down, uh, lots of poltergeists
There's a couple that are like real angry like and and just throwing tantrums

(57:29):
There's a lot more angered here than just that woman
But I don't I can't see us setting them all free
But there was one with the book, but I don't know if any of y'all want a magic book
Other than that, I think we can press forward
Yeah, let's go fucking kill that nerd with the book

(57:51):
Oh Jesus, okay at this point eon's gonna come over to anonka and
Then back into her normal form. Okay magic book magic book
Isn't that kind of like don't we have sort of like, you know the page?
You know page we have like
Yeah
Is that like maybe something we need?

(58:13):
Maybe I I couldn't really I mean I could tell the book was magical because I could see it in the spirit realm, but
Uh, I can't say whether or not it was a book that we were looking for
Hmm, maybe it's just a magic book
But except if you want to go kill a nerd ghost with a magic book it's it's

(58:36):
I can lead you back to that door
Well, i'm not gonna yuck his yams
He can keep it I guess
That's fair band therapy says we should encourage our other band members to make
Decisions

(58:59):
We shouldn't just say no you're dumb we should say that sounds like an interesting idea, let's see what happens
I'm not sure what happens. I'm not sure what happens. I'm not sure what happens
Roger eager eager to move forward you open up the first door

(59:20):
I feel like not really paying attention to anything anonka said you swing it open and step into the hallway
And the first thing that happens is a phone gets thrown off the wall and goes right for your head
I'm not sure what happens. I'm not sure what happens. I'm not sure what happens. I'm not sure what happens

(59:42):
I gotta
You got a three you got a three you duck and it goes flying into the hallway behind no, I don't want to duck
Okay, what do you do? I want to shoot that bitch out of the sky
Like the old school phones do you know what I mean?
like it's like i'm talking, you know rotator wheel phones and uh

(01:00:04):
spins you shoot it out of the air
yeah, and then everything calms for a second like
Older guys feel threatened in here and there are some other things that just begin to float off of the dressers
It's like some books what you doing roger they're just floating
Things in here I hate floating things. Yeah, I told you there were poltergeists everywhere

(01:00:35):
Power paladins has followed cheers bud. Welcome to the shit show. Cheers
Can I please start shooting at the floating thing? Yes roll me small arms
Cheers
Fucking beat a five god damn it

(01:00:57):
Oh, yeah, that's funny
Three you just start firing off

(01:01:17):
All right
Three still so it's even so you don't hit nothing you just start firing off of the wall
Pshh the bullets just kind of hit and then three books come flying towards your head
Make me an agility logic check. Um, the first one's a one
Uh, second one's a two and the third one is a three

(01:01:45):
Three you dodge the first one
Again
Roll again

(01:02:06):
Two you dodge the second one last one
Four you dodge the last one. Wow
You dodge the way out of all three of the books
Yeah, matrix style
You look there's nothing else floating. You're just standing there breathing real hard holding your gun

(01:02:37):
Aeon just close the door. Should we i'm tempted?
Dude
Roger's face right now. All right, uh, hey, what do you do?
Sure go. Um
Oh god, is there a better way
To go than this direction

(01:02:58):
And i'll go it's so the one with the magic book is this one down on the right like four doors down
Okay
Uh, if we just walk
He just opened a random door in the hallway. He's he's being a mad cat
But you know four doors there number eight. That's that's where the book is

(01:03:19):
Okay, let's let's exit this room here. Come on, buddy. Come on
I was gonna be on with your
connection to the undead
I think that while he was shooting at these things and stuff you kind of get the sense that um,
Aggression is only returned
Oh

(01:03:40):
Okay, so um
Um, if we try to be bad
They're gonna react bad. So let's be nice and respect roger roger
Be respectful of their space and they'll leave us alone
respectful
I know I

(01:04:02):
I know
Just just try
Respectful
Okay, you know put yourself in their shoes go what I want shot at
If I were holding books
This pose is a significant psychological question

(01:04:24):
What I like that I worship. Oh god. Oh god
what
Remember to take the safety off
I hate that
Am I a bad person
Sweetie

(01:04:46):
Undeniably unequivocally
I broke him. I broke him go get alfred
I I uh, I need to take some time to reflect about this
Okay, and she's gonna hook her arm in yours real gentle and pull you away from the door if you'll let her

(01:05:09):
Respectful very good
Would I like to be star that what I know I know I know I shouldn't have said anything
I'm so sorry. I
I uh, I don't know

(01:05:30):
I okay coming to god
Am I is this how religion starts?
Oh
No

(01:05:51):
Oh, no, I can't do this again. I've already been in one cult before and it was a death cult, please
No, no, what can I I can't do this again?
And we're walking and she's gonna just keep going down the hall
nice
You know, I think we should just skip the magic book. Why don't we just keep on going like that?

(01:06:18):
Crossing arms while
Frauders having an existential crisis
Um, you guys know to keep light-footed
Aggression is returned. So
Uh, you each need to walk nice and light. I need each one of you to make me an agility agility check, huh?
agility agility
Just

(01:06:39):
Be the one
No
Five seven good
lastly
two
That makes sense. That makes sense
Yeah
Um, you guys walked past where the books were floating
The air gets tense
Things get real tight

(01:07:01):
But if you walk past everything things fine
And eventually you get to this fourth door where the office was do you guys want to go in for this book?
Tight yes, it's tight like
Tense that's the word we should keep going
Eddie let's pass her by then. Let's let's keep going. Oh, what's the point of keep on going?

(01:07:27):
It's gonna end up an asshole. There's no reason why
Unless there's no reason you can't change nerds a higher power that we give you a reason
Sex that's the reason we got to get out of this
Yeah, so we can find someone to love is there a religion based on that?

(01:07:49):
So defiable cheers. Oh, no, there is a religion based on death
Oh hear me out
Hear me out. We'll we'll get rid of your we'll find someone to get rid of the pesky virginity of yours when we finish with this
That's enough reason to keep on
I need to stay pure for the lord

(01:08:10):
Oh, no, hey roger i'm gonna give you
Chat is not
All death religions are open to people having as much sex as they like
Wait, it's the ones i've been at least the ones i've been a part of yep
Huh?
Maybe living

(01:08:31):
The point of living is to have sex
That's the purpose of life you heard it here first folks, you know what you're right
You're absolutely right. Let me go find one of them ghosts
Come here
Oh, no, i got something for you. I'm gonna get consent consent

(01:08:58):
You
About you turn around roger and whip out your dick down this hallway
And a book from flying right at your crotch make me an agility logic check beat it, too
Oh, no
Oh

(01:09:23):
Can I slap it away with my wiener sure yeah you slap it away with your wiener all quarter inch of it
It yeah, pooper got roger doesn't so much have a penis as much as a rather large clitoris
There you go. Come here boosters

(01:09:44):
I got something for you. You do continue a candle stick, you know the three prongs
Comes flying across the room
Roll me into the logic
Uh
All of us no, no, no just rogers penis. That's a three

(01:10:10):
What is this creepy hallway counter turned into i'm just
We don't know
I'm definitely dodging dick. We continue hardcover book on the log likes
Maybe the spirits requires some sort of foreplay for zips up my pants

(01:10:35):
Oh
I did
I'm just walking down the hallway like that

(01:10:55):
Um yours picture frame on the wall that comes off the wall and tries to just smash right over your head a picture frame
That's a three agility logic
That's a one

(01:11:16):
Right over your head. Um, you take one stun damage my friend
Oh roger, I don't think they're responding to you here
We need to go more to like a bar or something for that
But first we got to get the deed so we can get money from johnson so we can pay for drinks
At the bar, that's what we're here for a stupid deed

(01:11:40):
I mean that was the thing he told us to get right. That's not we were doing like ghost busters
And you know like bust on the ghost. I don't know. Um
Um almost but no not even at all. It makes you feel good
Okay, whatever let me find a piece of paper
Okay, you guys reach the end of the hallway, uh again together roger still got a picture frame over his body just like

(01:12:06):
Half naked picture frame waddle. That's fine
The door to the right goes the office the magical book is um, and then in front of you guys there's one
single very large
door
Which direction you guys go to?
Single very large door you think

(01:12:32):
Okay, um as you guys approach I would actually like each one of you guys to roll me a perception check, um, which is uh
That willpower logic willpower logic
That's a one two

(01:12:52):
That's a two we all got two
It's pretty good. So each one of you guys gets twos as you approach
this door
You start to hear something
like bass notes like
I heard this before
Yeah, it's a bass line it's one note over and over again, of course, you know

(01:13:16):
Yeah, i'm seeing I heard it before when I came through here
Bass player joke roger very good couchcoin. Yes. Very good
um
Yeah, why don't you go ahead and play G for the rest of this fucking song?

(01:13:38):
Nice.
That is the correct formation you got it.
Okay
Whoa whoa whoa
Um, Ananka you can sense with your better hearing because you're blind that the bass notes aren't coming from this door
To the left of this door. There's actually a brick wall

(01:14:01):
It is out of place
And that's where the sounds are coming from
It's outer place mmm because most of this place is wood
Oh
Interesting hey Roger wanna headbutt this wall

(01:14:27):
Romy strength strength Roger
He had the opposite wall
To three oh
My god
Hell yeah, you said headbutt the wall right? Yes, sir. You headbutt the wall
You hit a center brick that goes into the wall and the wall

(01:14:53):
Opens up revealing a set of stairs
that goes down into what seems to be a basement and as the doors open the thumping gets louder and
Hold on let me see you
Oh, yeah, can it can it be like done done done done done done done done done done sure

(01:15:15):
But I think I actually have the there's too many options
Sorry
And down the bottom of stairs was like flickering lights

(01:15:37):
Looks like we're doing a show boys
You know you're not can be yeah, I was gonna say can you help me down the stairs oh

(01:15:59):
Of course of course
I'll definitely help an uncle down the stairs
Nice you guys walk down the stairs Roger following suit with the brick shaped on his forehead
and

(01:16:20):
I would never push her down the stair
Not you guys reach the bottom of the stairs and out in front of you
There are ghosts and ghouls
Having a secret dance party in this hidden ballroom
You guys stumble upon a hidden ballroom where ghosts and ghouls are having a secret dance party complete with the DJ and lights

(01:16:44):
And there's just hundreds of ghouls all hanging out
You can see a lot of them are wearing necklaces that have like this moon symbol with the cross through it
Symboling that a lot of them are members of the night faction
You look up to the front of the stage
You can see there's a small sign that says DJ specter and it's a ghostly DJ

(01:17:05):
He's a translucent figure with glowing eyes
He's got a spectral turntable and his movements are all fluid and rhythmic and he like disappears and reappears all over the place
And then he says over the mic he's like welcome to the afterlife's finest dance party
Welcome to the afterlife's finest dance party care to join in show us your moves

(01:17:31):
Hell yeah, go is your moves
Immediately jump in the middle of the dance floor
And start break dancing. I want to know how well you break dance. Roll me a charisma check
Wait charisma. Yeah
Oh, this would be agility for break dancing. I think you're right. I think it would be agility charisma

(01:17:57):
Ooh
There we go. Yeah, I need to do this
That's a one you can spend a couch coin to succeed you only have I would like to
Roll Roger. Oh, hold on reroll
Mmm. God damn it

(01:18:21):
Charisma roll
That's a two you don't need to spend it
you
Okay, explain to us the dance Roger. I'm gonna let you do it
Well, I start like break dancing on the floor
You know
I do the ones with my legs come out this way and then go out that way and then come out of the front and then

(01:18:43):
Um, let's see if I can fucking get this good
Yeah, this one. Yeah. No, not that one. Hold on. Wait. I got you
There we go, and then I start spinning on my head
Break dancing

(01:19:05):
Nice. Okay. I'm dizzy
You two still standing back watching this happen to Roger are approached by a
mysterious ghost who moves to the party with
finesse
She's a wraith like figure. She's got flowing black hair and piercing blue eyes

(01:19:25):
And when she whispers it kind of since chills down your spine
she says
Secrets are the currency of the dead. I know many things
What do you have in return?
She floats in circles around you guys

(01:19:50):
Zip it up for you. Good. I hope so. I think he zipped it up. He said he zipped it up
I put my weight or away. I even made the gesture to do it
Okay
Do you guys interact with this ghastly spirit at all?
I'd like to

(01:20:15):
Okay
I'd like to say to her name a living being and I'll tell you when they'll join your party
and I'll tell you when they'll join your party
That's dope. I love that. Why don't you make me a charisma roll? I'll let you do with advantage because that's very cool

(01:20:36):
Oh, it's a six. You would yeah, you beat it three times over
Just cause I want to see. Four. Okay. She goes to keep it episodic. She says

(01:21:00):
Ziggy
Oh
So because I beat it does that mean I see how Ziggy's gonna day
Sure

(01:21:21):
Now if you want to speak the truth or the falsest of this ghostly spirit you can
Eon standing right next to you, you know her and Ziggy have a strong relationship. Whatever you say is up to you. Oh, I
Would like to speak the truth, but I would like to whisper it to the witwraith. Oh
so
Ian doesn't hear I

(01:21:42):
Think Ian likes the mystery of life and would prefer not to know the impending death dates of her friends
I also think Eon can't help but try in here. So I would like Eon to make me a perception check
and I would like you to make me a vocal stealth check using charisma and

(01:22:03):
agility
All right word one sec for that this is very intense moment you die here often
What is what is perception is it logic? Well, yeah, why didn't I do that earlier? Okay anyway

(01:22:28):
It's a two I got a face of five, okay, so you say it without her hearing
Also, I found I in my qualities I have silver tongue which means I may reroll to dice on the charisma taste
And you can't eat out werewolves
Also true

(01:22:50):
Yeah, okay
You tell her that and then she says okay secret in return
In
Hold on that means a man in the interchamber
Stands a guardian who protects the safe

(01:23:11):
If you want what you've came for you must return back and then help the Wraith
Beautiful thank you
Anybody else want to shed some secrets on the lady?

(01:23:36):
Yeah, I'm just I've decided against it I'm good
Okay, Roger you're hanging out by the punch bowl
Unless you have something to say, you know, you got something for us
Is there is there a way to help the Wraith could you tell us if I gave you a secret

(01:23:57):
because
The bones
The balls
Must be burned to set the spirits free

(01:24:18):
Okay, so so with that
Do you want me to tell you a secret if you wish
Okay, um and then she's gonna lean forward and whisper her age into this woman's ear
Jesus that is a deep secret right there. That is a deep secret. She goes ah

(01:24:44):
Ah this truth not known by many only you
Satisfied and she floats away Roger the punch bowl in front of you is green punch in it. It's very good
Smells like watermelon you pour yourself a glass

(01:25:04):
Hanging out next to you is a bunch of different spirits. They're all just bobbing their heads and also drinking
and
one was like
you
You alive
Yeah, I mean what does a lot of you would mean nowadays, you know, that's true like that's true

(01:25:28):
Hey, yeah, whatever. Can you do me a favor?
It's been a long time since I've eaten a banana
Could you um, describe what it's like to eat a banana to me? Oh
Oh for sure. Well, it's uh, it's like it's like mushy
The outside is kind of tough to get there. So you gotta have some sharp teeth

(01:25:52):
but uh
Once you bite through that it's real mushy inside. It's uh, we it's definitely like a dessert fruit or something like that
And then on the way down, you know, it just slides right down there do the the viscousness of your own sly on the banana itself
It's really pleasant. Really pleasant. Even when they're brown. They still really good, you know

(01:26:17):
Thanks. Yeah, that's
Really good description and he puts his hand
into your chest
And he blesses you
And you're gonna get an extra
1d6 on
Let's say charisma rolls for the next day
Congrats. Oh cool

(01:26:38):
Thanks for I thought you're gonna like stop my heart or something. That was kind of cool
Now listen, do you know a guy named Beetle Douche by chance?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a fucking freak really annoying kind of hate him. It's like
You were cool back in the 90s man give it up anyways

(01:26:59):
Yeah
Then a tray of snacks comes around to you
Anonka and eon there are nice little things on there
There's a nice little blood cubes and some hot dogs and some other kinds of little snakey snackies and little cheese things and
Little spirits just carrying them around
I love a good blood cube. Come on
Anonka do you do you want anything there's um, um, uh describe to her?

(01:27:25):
What all was on the tray?
No
No, i'm fine. I I take note from spirits when there is not a fair trade to have
Oh
When you work in conjuring
You know, I'm not a good person
I'm not a good person

(01:27:45):
I'm not a good person
When you work in conjuring things from other realms and spirits being one of them
It's best to have a symbiotic relationship with that has a give and take I don't like to take too much
So smart
Um
oops
Drinking the punch eating the blood cubes

(01:28:08):
Roger eon, will you give me willpower checks, please?
No
Is it just willpower willpower willpower w yep. Okay
Oh god
Oh god
Anonka you

(01:28:29):
Sit back and watch time
fly by
Sitting in a chair watching these guys dance and conversate with these spirits
To you roger and anonka it feels like it's been five minutes
But in reality you've been in here for five hours

(01:28:49):
Well, I don't have a watch to tell i'm having a good time I don't give a shit
Good

(01:29:16):
I'm just sleeping off my hangover. It's nice just to have roger quiet for a while
What do you mean quiet i'm the loudest guy here
Yeah, it's very loud. You're laying on a bench sleeping off your hangover and um, I feel like another
10 minutes goes by to you guys
Anonka up the stairs you see the sunrise

(01:29:37):
You fall back asleep the sun sets
You wake up. It's dark up the stairs again. These two are still just vibing. It feels like it's been
15 minutes to y'all but it's been 24 hours
Oops, oh, well, I feel better
You're still doing this up the stairs sunrise

(01:30:01):
Oh the sun wait
Take my jacket
Here here don't take my jacket. Come on. Thank you. We got work to do you don't want to take her jacket
Make me a willpower. Oh my oh god. I really don't want it
I
Mean I do but I don't I don't want to be rude just for you god damn it

(01:30:27):
Sorry, just you're fine. Thanks dm steve underscore forge of low used realtor
Goddamn
Uh

(01:30:50):
Let's see how to go about this
The i'd like to
I'd like to take my scene. Okay comes around again to you and she says
I will tell secrets in exchange

(01:31:17):
All right, luna
Only if I get to choose the secret you tell me okay
I would like to know
How how to stop what is keeping these two here

(01:31:40):
And in exchange
Uh, I am the last surviving air genosse from the tublix clan

(01:32:01):
Knowledge may I take a lock of your hair?
No
Okay
I would like you to make your charisma check now
Beautiful like people don't know basic voodoo. You never give someone a lock of your hair

(01:32:30):
Six she goes, okay, the secret
Of freedom is water and then she floats away
I imagine there's no water down here

(01:32:51):
Do you have control element magic you are water genosse I am an air genosse. Oh, you're an air genosse
I
Mean unless we're playing with the idea that I can make it rain
Because technically that's just bouncing ions of air against each other. I'm down to do it on a dice roll

(01:33:14):
All right, we'll do
We'll do that. So it would be
elemental attack essentially
so
Willpower plus agility. Mm-hmm
Beta zero fuck

(01:33:34):
A four you succeed explain to us how you summon clouds into this club
So essentially you take ions in the air the negative and the positive much like emotions where you have to take both
And essentially clash them
together
Because two opposing things can both be true at the same time

(01:33:58):
That's right. You're getting therapy at the same time kids to oppose
Nerd I am giving you a description
And essentially whisping
Negative ions in the air and the positive ones and whooshing them together
And clashing them up into the ceiling to create little droplets that start

(01:34:19):
Condensating on the ceiling and then forming clouds that just start dripping downwards into a full rain
nice nice
Yeah, the water rains down
Some of the spirits start to disperse

(01:34:40):
Oh man
Electricity starts to seize on the lights and the floor
Oops
Electricity drips on your guys's heads and you wake up
tired
Exhausted it's been over a full day of dancing
You look across the dance floor to see all these spirits have disappeared and it's just eon standing there with our hands up

(01:35:06):
in water clouds rain clouds just all above you
Anonka
Anonka, yes two a names what assholes decided to do that?
The hardest ones er and er which is con er and roger that's the hardest one

(01:35:29):
Oh no my makeup
Evening how's your last day been?
I'm tired yeah, you wanna hit?
Remember how I said I don't like to take
Treats from ghosts because I use them

(01:35:51):
in
Contrary to and you just gobbled up a little blood cube
Yeah, how do you think they keep these sort of parties running get one of you guys to come in?
Gobble up one of their treats and then they just siphon off your life
Energy until you go then you shuffle off this mortal coil and they keep this party going

(01:36:14):
Well
You've been there for 24 hours
anything you said
To be fair really sir
It was delicious
It was delicious all right, so when I head to this main room and burn some bones

(01:36:38):
oh god
I feel like blah okay. Yeah, yeah
Take it off. Let's go
You guys head back up the stairs
um
Getting back up there you see yeah through a window the moon is back about where it was
You guys entered this place the first time

(01:37:01):
You approach the two large doors
Altogether you push them open they are very heavy
You guys enter into the inner chamber of the mansion as you enter the chamber of the mansion all the lights flick on

(01:37:23):
You can see the room is filled with ancient relics and symbols
And at the center of the room stands a spectral guardian
Its eyes glowing with an otherworldly light
A large ornate safe sits against the far wall partially obscured by shadows

(01:37:43):
The air is thick with a
Oppressive energy and you can feel the weight of centuries of history pressing down on all of you and this feeling
Is comforting for eon

(01:38:07):
The guardian is a towering figure clad in spectral armor and wielding a giant ghostly sword
His presence skews only power and authority
It speaks and says to you three
Only those worthy may claim the secrets of the safe

(01:38:29):
prove yourselves
For you as well will be consumed by darkness
And then he slams his sword down on the ground and strikes it in a circle and
Fire comes up on the edges of the room
It's initiative time boys and girls

(01:38:50):
That's right
Yes, yes indeed logic willpower
All right, we've got a three a three and a two

(01:39:16):
And a five
Yes
Um the guardian is first
He slams his sword into the ground
And he summons a tiny spirit
That also wields a sword

(01:39:38):
He goes and then up from the ground ectoplasm
And he points his sword at
That's a one it's not what I wanted though thing
At eon

(01:40:00):
And he says attack and the little spirit with his little sword runs right at you
And tries to hit you. Yeah, I need you to make me an agility logic check to beat a four
Four oh boy
That's a four swing and a miss

(01:40:22):
Oh hi there next an initiative it is you eon
Wait, wait
Oh, it's uh eon and uh roger. Yeah
Combined
Yes, just do whatever you want and i'll follow up with whatever I want
All right, if these guys come up with a combo move together, um, they'll actually i'll give them extra damage

(01:40:46):
We do combined initiative around here
Wait are you gonna are you gonna hit him or are you gonna do magic on him?
Why don't we do both?
Okay
Why do you want me to do shoot it? Okay?

(01:41:11):
As he goes to shoot it eon is going to
Release a mana bolt to wrap around the bullet to do some extra damage
That's very cool. I love that. Um, so I think then first let's start off with a small arms check. Um with roger
Sure

(01:41:32):
You only gotta beat a two
That's god damn it
You still have one couch mark, but that's not enough. That's not enough. Miss chat wants to help you
If you can do that mirror is a tank in spank time. That's right
Put it in viper old school. Uh, now that's teamwork

(01:41:52):
Magic bullet, that's right
so
I
Hell yeah, buddy get it. Come on roger you can do it on 11

(01:42:15):
Seven damage extra when you're piercing. Okay, so you're gonna do mana bolt as well and what does mana bolt?
Entail
Okay, so
Um it is
Defense s plus w is that strength willpower for you? Yeah, that's strength willpower

(01:42:36):
I'm am and on that damage of six piercing
And it has armor of
Jesus
What is it oh so I think to hit I'm just gonna have you make your sorcery willpower check
Um, and you also have to beat a two

(01:42:57):
Okay, the same defense rating for both roles
What am I rolling willpower plus
Sorcery you should be able to click it on your character sheet. It's like sorcery plus you should be able to click that
Sure enough, that's yep
That's a three barely you succeed by one which is very good, um, so that's seven extra damage

(01:43:24):
How much damage does your pistol do roger
My six p
Okay, so that's 13. Jesus plus your mana bolt
Which is
Six physical so that's 19
I will add
Because your combo move an extra d6 damage to this three. So that's 22 damage

(01:43:50):
Yeah, you reel back fire your gun how do you cast your magic on the bullet
Is there like a cool description you got for us?
Yeah, um, she I I forget. What color did I say the last time?
I was I thought it was um, but up to you
I think it was red because anonka does like blue red
You're like electric. Yeah, um, so yeah

(01:44:13):
What color is this?
She takes her umbrella
From behind her back like it's it's got a little uh
Thing that it sits in she takes it out and just taps his gun and this like crazy red
Energy just forms out of it and as he aims and shoots
It's like it shoots through this force field of red energy and just coats the bullet

(01:44:36):
Sick super cool and that actually does with the thing that I had written here
But I'm not gonna tell you what that is, but it's very cool that you do that you deal the full
22 damage to him as it hits him. He's like
You may be worthy
Again and he swings his sword around now. It's anonka's turn

(01:45:01):
Oh, I would definitely
I would like to use my conjuring
Uh
And that I would like to actually
Like speak inwardly to the the necklace that I picked up in the last like the first episode
And and try to conjure the spirit of the raven

(01:45:23):
nice
It's super cool
I do want you to make me a check to try and speak to it
And it will be a willpower check unless you have something in mind
Well conjuring is already a willpower check. So do you want me to just do the conjuring check? No, that's that's perfect. Yeah. Yeah, that's perfect

(01:45:44):
It's a three I got a zero, okay, what do you say to your necklace?
Uh
the spirit of the raven
Spirit of the raven I beseech you
To let us defend against this foe

(01:46:09):
And let us succeed this day
nice
nice
I have this vision and there's a thing I wanted to do in a future episode, but
I feel like I could do it now
I also have an idea if you
If you have an idea go ahead because maybe I can still do it

(01:46:32):
Because if you want to save it for later, I'll allow it
I was gonna say that it's if it's the the form of the raven that takes place
It's just a shroud of blackbirds come up
Like and like blackbird isk spirits just surround
the the field

(01:46:52):
hell yeah
I don't know if you want to decide by how many but
do it
do it
do it
do it
do it
do it
out of your necklace
you feel a warm red

(01:47:13):
hot burning
as it shines the most beautiful shine
of blue energy
and then out from your necklace
out from your chest
all of these ravens
come around and just surround the battlefield
and they cover out some of the darkness of the fire

(01:47:35):
and I also want to say that while you are standing in this aura of fire
you are standing in this aura of the ravens
you're gonna get bonuses to your sorcery checks and everything that you do
like they are there to support you
so it's kind of like a support spell on yourself
and we'll talk about that on the next action that you make

(01:47:57):
alright
yeah
pretty cool
alright tiny minion still standing in front of eon
goes
fuck you
and he puts his sword away
and pulls out a little shotgun
fuck off
cause this is urban fantasy right

(01:48:19):
fuck off
blue guy come on
he tries to shoot you with this fucking shotgun
that's an easy check
agility
logic beat it to
agility logic to defend against the shotgun blast
there we go
four

(01:48:41):
totally beats his heat gun
and fuck you
and just totally misses you
turn into a bat
come on
that's right
the guardian spirit
says
you have still not shown me
you are worthy

(01:49:03):
and he slams his sword into the ground
and this wave of blue flame like magic
like
it's like a wave that goes to the whole ground
and I need each one of you guys
all three of you
to make me an agility logic check
to jump over this wave as it's coming at you
that's a five
for eon
that's a five

(01:49:25):
for eon
that's a five
for eon
that's a two
from roger and a three from
ananka
you had to beat a five
so eon succeeds
turning into a bat
you other two
both take five physical damage

(01:49:51):
as it blasts you back
ahhh
hell yeah
I did
yeah I did
and I like to bring it into my dnd games
because they had the best boss encounters
sick
alright back to the top of initiative
it's eon and roger together

(01:50:15):
got any more ideas?
I really don't know
I'm just gonna fuck
I'm gonna hit the big guy
fuck this little guy
okay
let's do another shot
yeah
um

(01:50:39):
I think I'm also
going to
do the same
mana bolt
cool it's a really cool move
take advantage
small arms check roger
you gotta beat
a two
again
come on buddy

(01:51:03):
remind from work
decided to venture into a liquor store to buy a bottle of bourbon
for my birthday last week she doesn't drink
and couldn't remember what I liked when she asked
but recognized the four roses
can I use my edge?
hell yeah certifiable
so you can spend your edge to turn fours
into successes
yeah
hell yeah

(01:51:27):
which turned it into
a three
instead of a two which is a success
with one above which means it's one
extra damage now we need emmy to do yours
as well same defense
beat a two
that's a three
one extra damage
yes so
your gun does six I believe her bolt does

(01:51:49):
six that's twelve damage plus the
six your two is fourteen plus a d six
for your cool ass combo move
which is a six
that's twenty damage
yeah yeah he puts an umbrella
down on his gun it lights up
in the crazy red magic
I imagine it's not like electricity but it's like this
liquid is red that
swirls around it and then you

(01:52:11):
fire the bullet and it soars
through the air and hits him
right in the chest and he's like
you may
be
worthy
again
and he swings his sword around
but it's a knockers turn
oh I'm going to use

(01:52:33):
my elemental attack
and
cast a giant lightning
bolt of electricity towards
the big guy sick
sick
okay now thinking about your
crows I want to think about exactly
what they do
elemental attack is combat damage of six
piercing

(01:52:55):
and I believe you're going to use conjuring
willpower to do it
I think
your crows should give you
extra dice on your hit
do you want to do it on hit or damage?
on hit
so I think
let's be honest I need a tail player
that's true

(01:53:17):
I think they're going to
give you an extra 4d6 on hit
extra 4d6?
yeah so it's
going to make it 9d6
in total
alright where would I put that
in?
would I put it with other modifiers?
after you click conjuring willpower a little
thing will come up yeah and then

(01:53:39):
you should be able to do other
just click the four
that should do it
alright
here we go
nope the glitch die was on
you only got three successes
it's only a three
jeez
jeez

(01:54:01):
let's see here
his defense is a five
your lightning strikes down
right next to him
as all the crows go
and he goes
try again
jennasi
your power
certifiable underscorer juice tree roll
needs work

(01:54:23):
I got another five
damn it
your power
needs work
hmm
and then he
swings his gastro his ghostly sword
around and points it right at you
ananka and he's like
the crow
strong within you

(01:54:45):
let's remove it
and out from his sword is like this beam
of like
ectoplasmic energy
make me
in agility logic
check
on defense you gotta beat a two

(01:55:07):
that's a two
so when it hits your chest
it does nothing
I want you to describe to me how it does nothing
what happens
so it will impact
but essentially
the actual necklace itself
cause it

(01:55:29):
I chose to be worthy
it essentially casts its own
like shield around itself
to not be like damaged
in any way so it just kind of
lets out a little burst and it kind of
bounces back the ectoplasm
nice and he's like
the crow has bonded with this one

(01:55:51):
and he turns
and then focuses on roger
and the little guy is like
damn fuck this shotgun
pulls out a revolver points it at roger
come on guy
come on guy
he's got a two
beat a two roger

(01:56:15):
agility logic
yep
what's wrong with that
oh from indiana
oh you had to glitch dayan by accident
but you did get a three
which means you succeed so he just fires
hits the wall and he's like
what the fuck guy
throws it down to the ground

(01:56:37):
revolver just
alright eon and roger
see you guys again
touch my mic stand
are we running it back
how about this actually let me see
real quick both of you guys standing there
the fire is strong there are crows fucking
everywhere but I want both of you guys just to

(01:56:59):
roam your perception of this room
okay
just in
well power logic
it's their turn yeah
and we can see things
zero for roger
four for eon
you can see around this

(01:57:21):
stair he's like there's like
three stairs up they go up to where he's standing
and all around the stairs
there are
runes on the floor
each one of them has a different symbol
do I recognize any of these runes
you can make me
a logic logic check

(01:57:43):
I think if anyone
were to it would be you
oh boy that was rough
let's see let's see
you do
um
they are ancient runes
from an
undead cult
these runes have

(01:58:05):
this spirit trapped here
and
um stepping
on them in a certain order
will either release him
or defeat him
oh shit
oh shit

(01:58:27):
mmm
do you do you want us to defeat you or do you want us to release you?
you must show you are worthy
hmm
hey guys there's runes back there

(01:58:49):
we gotta step on them in a certain order
and one way
will release him
one way will destroy
cool I gotta step on shit let's do it
alright there are six runes in total
okay

(01:59:11):
can you describe
yeah can you describe them at all
yeah uh three of them
kinda look like squiggly lines
they're almost like an M
but they almost look like this
and then the other three
are like crosses with like a circle

(01:59:33):
so three are the same and three are the same?
uh does eon know what either of them means?
eon can make another check
logic logic?
roger roger
you gotta beat a three
you gotta four

(01:59:55):
dang
okay um
it looks like
to you
that the
metal symbol
symbol of death
the other one
an anarchy symbol
the symbol of freedom
you put together

(02:00:17):
the anarchy symbol will set him free
and the metal symbol
will put him to death
and he will be the last
okay roger
don't step on the metal symbol
step on the other one
right?
I don't know what that means

(02:00:39):
I start running towards the uh
uh the anarchy symbol
or whatever
okay so anarchy is freedom
and metal is
release
death release
yeah I don't know that though and I'm just
stepping on something
I'll reach out for an anarchy
to help her get to the right symbol

(02:01:01):
cause there's three right?
yeah for sure
but can we say
roger can I have a bunch of my crows
just on each one of them
just like one by one
you just run on them and they each play
a little sound as you step on them
and it's like smoke on the water
dun dun dun
dun dun dun

(02:01:23):
you just step on them
yes
funny
can I just
with that can I just have
my crows come down and land
on the anarchy symbols
yes but there's spectral
I don't know if they will do that
yeah
would it be enough for them to guide

(02:01:45):
me to
one of the symbols?
yeah for sure
so Aeon can actually go straight to her symbol
and I can have the birds guide me to where I need to go
but collectively I need to know
where you guys stepping
anarchy baby
anarchy
freedom

(02:02:07):
cause Lulu said something about
get help from the fucking
we have to free him
the guardian yeah
okay
mmm
we need this
maybe this

(02:02:31):
you three
run up
each one of you guys stepping on a different
anarchy symbol on the ground and they light up
with light
as you do
step on them
the spectral guardian looks down
two three
he says
freedom

(02:02:55):
you grant me freedom
yeah
because we are worthy
the others
they come through here they choose
to kill me
but you grant
me freedom
in my body
are the bones

(02:03:17):
to the specter
that haunts this place
if you
choose to release me
she stays
I go
if you choose to kill me
you may free her
this is a choice

(02:03:39):
you must make
out of respect
I will wait for your final decision
oh god
gets on a knee and puts his sword into the ground
who are you guardian
I

(02:04:01):
the guardian of the dead
missionary for the night
was summoned here
and trapped here
by the corpos
of
hold on
oh there it is
gotcha

(02:04:23):
it's so funny to say this
but
I was trapped here
from the corpos
of the walmart
of the super walmart
I was
trapped
here
and trapped
in this

(02:04:45):
house
oh god
they trapped
I want to free him now more than ever
protect this mansion
for the owner
one of the managers
of the super walmart
and I do wish to be free

(02:05:07):
oh god
what of the woman's bones
who is she when she's at home
she was the wife
of the manager
she took good care of him
he
cheated
stole, embezzled
murdered her in her sleep

(02:05:29):
now her spirit lives here forever
he used her bones
to summon me
so is it
she is a part of me
and if we set you free
you can't also take her

(02:05:53):
she will be trapped
until her bones are burned
and she will be trapped forever in this home
oh then yeah we're setting you free
we could yeah we could burn the bones
that's what I'm here for is to burn the bones
yes
but if I am set free you cannot burn the bones

(02:06:15):
what?
if we set him free she's trapped
we can't burn the bones
oh
well how many of the rooms have we
left on so far?
to correct him out
he's waiting for us to make a
final decision

(02:06:37):
oh fuck it let's kill him
if you wish
it's the only way to get the job done
no that's not
we're not here to kill her we're here
to get the deed
yeah well we gotta get the deed from her
right?
well there's a big safe over there
what's in there?

(02:07:01):
hold on
can I just ask your project
real quick with McClare of Oynes to go see
what's in the safe
yeah uh we're gonna
quickly say you do that
you float over and you poke your head in the safe
and you read you see the deed
is in the safe
as well as
a couple you know

(02:07:23):
hundred dollars and
the backside of
what looks to be some kind of
page to something
oh shit uh in this
astral form can I see
how the vault was to
be opened?
it looks like a code of some
kind but

(02:07:45):
it doesn't look super sturdy
like it's very old
very decrepit
so I think just getting there is the main thing
you think
just getting there is the main thing
sorry my so my headphone cut out
in the beginning is there something
keeping the

(02:08:07):
safe apart from us
the guardian is in the way
oh well let's set him
free and then we just break it
okay yeah so I'm gonna go back into
the vault and let's
see if we can get
rid of the body
so lads
uh deeds in the
safe that's what

(02:08:29):
we're here for at the end of the day
the lady of the manor doesn't matter
she was as bad as the rest of the corpos
this mad lad free
we just go up and blow the
door off the safe
deed's ours
I mean she
The husband sees- She's still loved and doted on a fucking corporal.

(02:08:50):
She's no bet- Okay!
She's- She's still a rich bitch who's got a silver spoon in her mouth.
And if it did or no, she's still a rich cunt.
I'm down!
Let's set him free!
Alright! I can't let you do.
I just wanna get the fuck outta here.
Y'all decide to set him free.
He hears you say that, and he goes,

(02:09:12):
Yes, freedom, a friend for life you have made of the Spectral Guardian.
Call upon me.
I will fight with you, protect you.
And he-
Good to know.
Disappears, but as he disappears through the wall,

(02:09:34):
you guys look up and in an instant,
this crazed Spectral Ghostal Guardian of the woman that you were supposed to save
rushes at all three of you, screaming with her mouth open and her eyes dripping with blood like-
WAAAHHHH!
Like just right at you guys.
I need each one of you to make me a willpower agility check.

(02:10:02):
Aw, come on, that was cocked.
You asshole.
I got a seven.
Somebody make turkey reroll.
Oh my god.
Anakir got a three, Eon got a two, and Rodjak got a four.
Do you and Steve underscore Forge of Low Use Dereal Turk.
Instead of a seven, I got a two.

(02:10:23):
Which means all three of you guys avoid it as she rushes into you and-
Ooh!
Disappears.
As she does that, it can essentially be the blackbirds come and consume her.
Yeah, that's cool.
I love that.
The blackbirds actually flock around this in protection and consume her.

(02:10:45):
I love that.
Yes!
Super cool.
Now, whenever she does that, the fire goes out.
The guardian's gone, the crows go back into your chest, and the safe sits in front of you guys.
All right, Roger, he'd bought the safe.
Or use your mic, buddy.

(02:11:09):
Did you say headbutt something?
Hell yes, dude.
Roll me strength strength.
I'll make it an easy check.
Beat a three.

(02:11:30):
That is a three.
Hold on, Mom and Leg, I said, can you control the action of the crows with the necklace?
Only with the physical spell?
With them being spectral?
They make physical contact?
Just a question.
They're spectral, so I feel like they're more of like an energy.
I feel like they might be physical when they need to be, but only if Anonka manages to
connect more with the crow as the campaign goes on.

(02:11:53):
So there's some crowing to be done, and some things will evolve over time, which is very
cool.
Some crowing to be done?
Some crowing to be done!
It is.
It is.
I'm so sorry.
I'll see my way out.
You stay right there, you genius.
Roger, 15d6 and you got three successes.

(02:12:15):
That is 5%.
That is awful.
15d6.
Don't make fun of him for actually being human with dice rolls for once.
Couch coin now to get that extra success, or you can take damage to get it open and
smash it again with your head.

(02:12:36):
I'll spend the couch coin.
Alright.
You walk over like the Fonz, but the Raj, and you headbutt this safe, and it opens.
On the inside, you guys find 500 bucks.
You also find the deed to the home, and, Roger, you pull out another page to the Metro Omnicon.

(02:13:04):
As you pull it out and hold it up, the page flies out of Ananka's pocket and connects
with the other one, and it unleashes this wave of yellowish-orange energy, and then
the pages together fly back into Ananka's hands, and you've got two pages of the Metro

(02:13:28):
Omnicon lullaby.
Is this far than before?
Say what?
Anyways, the mission is complete.

(02:13:49):
At this point, would you guys like to backtrack, or are you just gonna bounce the fuck out
of this mansion?
We should probably get the fuck out of here, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I feel like our hostess isn't gonna be very happy with us.
Probably not.
Probably fucking hate you, Fonz.

(02:14:11):
Turn around.
We could start taking Bob on these missions.
You could, yeah.
Instead of just leaving him on the bus, he's getting weird.
He's just talking to a robot all day.
Maybe you noticed him.
You guys turn around and run.
As you run, the lights behind you on the roof turn off one by one.

(02:14:33):
You start running up the hallways.
The candles on the walls start turning off one by one.
You guys are just running up books and candles and phones and other kinds of stuff, paintings
start coming off the wall and are just flying at you guys as you're running out.
The whole place is in shambles.
Eventually you get to the doors that are opening and shutting and opening and shutting.

(02:14:56):
One last check.
I need each one of you guys to make me a double agility check to tuck and roll out the front
door.
Instead of just opening and shutting, can I just put my head down?
Okay.
Is it running?
If you want, but you gotta beat a three.
So you want me to roll strength, strength?
Yeah, sure.

(02:15:17):
You know, spirits of this manner, if you just wanted to leave, you just had to agree to
become part of my minion army of spirits.
All right.
I want to say Roger goes first and Roger head butts the doors open, giving you guys ample
opportunity to also tuck and roll and jump out this thing.

(02:15:37):
Eon, you turn into a bat, fly out and Anonka, you just slide blind, blind knowledge.
You're like, I know there's a door there.
I gotta get out of it.
And you just follow.
Oh, I still got the crows.
I still got the astral crows that I can, I imagine I can still see the crows cause they're
from another plane and I'm literally just following crow vision.

(02:16:00):
Crow vision.
I love that.
And you slide out the door as you slide out the door, the whole home.
What the fuck?
Sorry.
Sorry.
As you slide out the home, the whole house vibrates.
All the windows are flickering and all the shutters are slapping open and closed and

(02:16:24):
all the windows are slamming up and down.
They break frigging.
What are they called?
Things on the shutters, shutters just start flying off and other things.
Singles, shingles.
The whole house is fucking pissed.
And you guys run out to your bus and stand, look back at the house through the garden,

(02:16:48):
staring at this home and it's just.
It's a girl house.
The house gets even more fucking pissed.
The house, the front of the house.
Okay.

(02:17:08):
We're talking monster house right now.
The door in the porch turns into a mouth and the two windows at the top turn into eyes.
You hear the voice of the spectral spirit.
She's like, I will get you metal Omnicon.
I will get you.
And Bob hits on the gas.

(02:17:29):
And as we drive away, I hit the fucking mailbox.
Nice.
You guys get the hell out of there.
And uh, where do you guys head to meet up with Mr. Johnson?

(02:17:50):
This is the end here.
The gas station?
The gas station?
We got, we got a show at Los Jibidis tomorrow.
I imagine we can just meet him there.
He be Jeeby.
No, Los Jibidis different club.
This is a Los Jibidis.
Right.
Hell yeah.

(02:18:11):
Um, Mr. Johnson meets you at the gas station.
Dave eyeballs you from inside the gas station, hoping you guys don't come in.
Mr. Johnson walks up smoking his cigar.
He got your messages and he says, well done keys.
The deed is worth more than gold in the right hands, but you know, these things you keep

(02:18:41):
finding me all may be key to something much bigger.
I say keep an eye out and get some rest.
You'll need it for what I got planned for what you got coming next.
Is it a show?
Could be.

(02:19:02):
Be good when you, one step at a time.
The chance to kick Amazon in the nuts.
Fuck Amazon and fuck Walmart.
He takes a free free bates.
He gets back in his limo.

(02:19:23):
He waves to you guys as he sits down and drives off with a deed.
You guys each earn 10 karma.
Now, at this point in time, we're going to start from right from Eon to the left to Anonka.
Talk about what you guys are doing during this short rest.
Even maybe even a week of time before our next episode in game.

(02:19:43):
Eon, what are you doing?
Um, I have a, sorry.
Go on Eon.
Go on.
Oh, I just have a mechanical question.
I'm down in my armor.
Is there any way I can fix that over that time?
You have to buy new armor in this system.

(02:20:05):
You have to, there is no repairing.
You have to buy new armor.
Oh, I love my corset.
I got to get another one made guys.
Oh, do you just become naked when it's destroyed?
Well, she can still wear it.
It just won't serve as armor anymore.
Why not both?
I don't know.

(02:20:25):
It's kind of like a Kevlar vest where it's got the inserts.
So once they're done, they're done.
You can just put new inserts in.
Kevlar corset.
Nice.
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah, apocalypse.
Nice, Pvert.
Write songs about the band's journey.
I love that.
I fucking love that.
All right.
Continue Eon.
Um, I think she is kind of a

(02:20:52):
Um, I think she is going to grind in every bar that they go to playing chess games with
anybody she can get a hold of.
And sometimes checkers, sometimes she's got to be in the mood for it.
Um, to try to buy new armor eventually.

(02:21:13):
Okay.
Hey, that's fair.
What we'll do is the beginning of our next episode.
We'll roll to see how much cash you make.
Alrighty.
Good.
Roger, what do?
Um, I'm going to like, you know, just fucking hang out.
Yes.
I don't really know what I should do.
To be honest.
I mean, I could have a whole religion thing, but.

(02:21:42):
Hang and train with Lucy?
Yeah, I'll hang and train with Lucy.
How about that?
Hell yeah.
If you do that, whenever we come back next time, we'll make a roll.
And if you succeed, maybe Lucy will get some better stats.
Okay.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
All right.

(02:22:03):
Anonka?
Oh, I'm learning and practicing the new baseline for the new middle Omnicon song, Shit Storm
Wizard.
Very good.
Okay.
Anything mechanically you want to be doing?
Oh, I'm also going to be grinding for new armor because I'm also down.

(02:22:28):
I'm going to be.
I'm going to be making as much new merch as I can to try and sail.
Nice.
I've now got a nice ghost house image in my head and lots of crows to work with.
So.
Badass.
All right.
Fair enough.
You guys pull away in the ghoul bus away from the gas station, headed off to your next adventure.

(02:22:50):
And that, my friends, is where we leave tonight's episode of Metal Omnicon.
That's right.
Cheers!
Cheers!

(02:23:17):
Also don't forget friends, my birthday is in two weeks, so you know, get your power
points in.
Hell yeah.
Hit it Connor.
On the next time of whatever Metal Omnicon, Roger finds out that his wiener is can be
used as a weapon.
Turkey discovers that there's more PS2 monsters he can include in the game.

(02:23:43):
Aeon is still hiding her age.
Will she be able to hide it for long?
And finally Ananka walks into a wall because she's blind.
Tune in next time on Metal Omnicon.
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