Endelyn The Hag | The Wild Beyond EP12 | D&D5e Actual Play - Love Death & Dice

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Dear lovely entertainment, today my name is Connor.

(00:02):
Over here we have-
My name's Kate.
I'm Turk.
Buddy! Welcome back to Love, Death, and Dice!
This is episode 12.
Check it out! We only have two episodes left
of this here campaign, episode 12.
And next week is 13, the finale!
Before we start prepping our very next campaign.
Everything we're gonna be doing.
We're already very excited. It's fucking-

(00:24):
It's a lot of fun. Yes, and I am your dungeon master, Turk.
I'm here with Connor and Kate.
Hello!
Hi!
Good to see you both.
Kate's still a little bit under the weather.
So, get some hype and chat for Kate.
We're still joining us today.
I'm medicated!
Hell yeah.
So, you may see a little bit of that in today's episode.

(00:46):
Additionally, Fishy,
who is in chat, love you Fishy,
will not be finishing this campaign with us.
They have some live things going on.
They can talk about that in Discord if you want to ask them about it.
But they will not be finishing this campaign with us.
But have no fear,
we still love them all as well.
So, now that we're all adjusted and fixed,
that is what's happening.
And everyone watching and listening here on YouTube,

(01:08):
I do apologize, no Dr. Hobbs will be finishing this campaign with us.
Hope it doesn't ruin the rest of the story for ya.
But we've got here two episodes left.
We're gonna try to get into this, remember as much as we have.
Because breaking the fourth wall,
for those of you guys watching it way farther in the fucking future,
it's been actually a couple of weeks
since we've gotten people to sit down and play.
A lot of shit has happened to IRL in the real world.
So, we're finally back here being able to roll some dice.
And I'm very excited about it!

(01:30):
Hell yeah!
I am. And before I get into
any kind of homework or anything,
cheers friends, yes.
805 cheers, I'm happy to be back here doing this.
Brainstorming with y'all, making stuff.
This is very exciting.
Hands to tune in later to figure more about that.
I'm just saying.
And we have updated our fucking schedule.
And if you want to see the schedule,

(01:52):
you can see it in announcements in our Discord.
It's been updated today.
So we have everything that we have going on.
You can check all that shit out.
Music
Music
Music
Music
As we last left off, you guys just left
the tiny wonder town.
The tiny wonder town was a

(02:14):
fairy based town.
Yeah, Funda town.
Based here in the
Wild Beyond.
And you guys found Reiner's
home house and his
parents fortune that Reiner
had collected. You guys chilled
out there, had a nice long rest there.
Now we're going to just move right along.
You guys are just going to be leaving this town

(02:36):
to the next location. But is there
anything you might want to have
done before you left or anything like
that while you were waking up?
Anything at all? We'll start over here with Reiner.
Anything?
The places where we found
the money and the walls.
Could I have repaired that?
So that they stay hidden.
Will you quickly roll me a

(02:58):
survival check to see how well you've repaired
that?
Good math. First roll
of the night, first roll in two weeks.
Oh, decided to be rolling dice.
And it's a natural 20!
Get the fuck in here.
Hell yeah, baby!
Music
Music
Cheers, y'all. Jesus. Nat 20!

(03:20):
Cheers.
Oh yeah, it's beautiful.
Actually, what I want to say, on that Nat
20, Reiner, you actually
go down to the garage
and you find some drywall and some spackle.
And you completely rebuild this
wall. And over the course of the night
you actually get a sample of the paint
of the wall and go down to the local
Ye Olde hardware store. You get the exact

(03:42):
kind of paint that you need.
And you make that wall look perfect.
Additionally, on a Nat 20, you
install a slight
lever in the bookshelf that actually
opens the wall so you can access
it whenever you need to.
You build a beautiful wall
there. Who knew? Reiner was really good
at construction. I guess we've never had a construction
role for Reiner.

(04:04):
You were so worried about
him not being able to build things.
Like, have a life for himself after
this campaign. He's got
his mates making service.
He's got construction gnomes, so...
Yeah.
He's got everything he needs.
Yeah. Learned a lot from construction gnomes.
Okay, moving on here.
Violet, is there anything you want to do here

(04:26):
before we leave this town? Anything at all?
I mean, I want to stock
up on some rations for me
and my little kid sister.
Okay. Now with your
abundance of cash, we'll just say you do
that. You just pick up however many that
you need. Fair enough? Alright.
Sounds good.
Now, um...
You guys, if you

(04:48):
remember, see if I can do this.
Head off
out of the town.
Back out of the world. Also, for everybody
realizing that I'm not using the right
accent anymore, it's just what I
can manage with the sickness.
Fair. Good point.
You guys, venture forth out of
the town. As you begin leaving, the rain

(05:10):
starts back up again, because you're
no longer under the shield of the giant
trees and mushrooms that you were under before.
Back out of the rain, you contemplate
on everything you've learned.
You've learned that there are three hags
here in the wild beyond.
You've already taken care of two of them.
There is one hag
left, and
there is a secretive place called

(05:32):
the Palace of Heart's Desire
that you are trying to get to
to finally free the princess
of the weird wild.
She has been trapped there, thus
keeping this place in some weird
existential crisis of darkness
where people aren't happy.
The hags have taken over so easily
and just started running rampant.
But, you still don't know exactly

(05:54):
how to get to the Palace of Heart's Desire,
and you're missing one key component
that you might still need, which is
the unicorn's horn.
Now, here in this area, Reiner
has also gotten feelings
and messages that Selena
is here somewhere
in this place of yawn, in this dark
dingy place.
You believe it to be in this current

(06:16):
hag's hideout.
So that's where you're headed next. You've gotten
directions from the mini-merchant
after trading him some
candy that was made by
goblins.
...
...
...
Sorry, I didn't realize I was contagious.
...

(06:38):
My apologies.
...
I'm talking...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...

(07:00):
your magical weapons, you eventually make it to this castle on the hill. You climb up
the final last steps. You, your little sister, Reiner. I'm gonna have a description for
you. As you approach, it looks like the surface of the door has the likeliness of Hag's skull.

(07:33):
And as you guys get closer, the door itself speaks aloud. And it says, the moon twin is
not welcome here. All other may step forward and pass through the black curtain at the
entrance hall. You take one further step forward on the rock, and the door splits down the

(08:00):
middle, down the center of the Hag's face. And the double doors slide wide open, revealing
a decorated hallway in which there's a large chamber at the end where you can slightly
hear music playing. And out of the doorway comes a small figure wearing a grayish hood
all tattered and sewn together. He's got a long gray nose. And you see he's a Darkling.

(08:25):
Very short, very small. He looks up at you three and you say, Hi, how can I help you?
I mean, we'd like to come in out from the rain if that's possible. Sure, sure. Have

(08:45):
you come to perform? Well, we've been known to do a diddle or two. Yeah, we've been known
to do a performance or two. Oh, well, I must stick it up with Indalyn. Well, she is the
Queen Hag here. She delegates all performances. If you want to perform, I can take you to

(09:09):
her. Okay. Oh, yeah, that sounds nice. That was mighty kind of you. Okay. But of course,
there is a rule of reciprocity for my guidance. What do you have to offer? I will hear I got

(09:30):
snakes. I just picked up some mighty fine snakes. I got some cheese and a nice bottle
of wine for you, friend. Oh my god. Do you know what I forgot about the fucking cheese?
There was cheese. There was like milk in buckets. What? What am I thinking about right now?
What's there like? What was that? Yeah, it was Reiner's mom's breast milk that she was

(09:52):
she was turning into that was turning the cheese. Yeah. And you dumped it in the wells.
No, no, he got to start from dumping it into the wells. He sold it to like, the guy who's
like the leader of the town, and he's gonna make cheese out of it. What was the name of

(10:15):
that cheese? I forgot. I don't remember that part. I'm sorry. It was a very delicate blend
of boo bree. It was was a boo bree breast milk goals. Hashtag. Hi, Izzy. Oh, another
world family. Hello, friend. You're a joyous. Yes, and is currently breastfeeding. Like

(10:37):
she got a little she got a brand new baby and she makes jokes all the time about making
her breast milk into cheese. So that's I love that. I love that so much. Okay. Well, you
hand him some snacks. All right. And he goes, Oh, yes. We describe these snacks first before

(11:01):
he eats them. What What is it? I always it's not Reiner's mom's breast milk. She's that's
for sure. But it is a cheese and a little bit of wine and crack. You got to ferment
that over time. You got to do special cultures to we weren't there that long. You got to
do like weeks of preparation for that kind of cheese. Listen, for a good boob cheese.
You got to do a lot of work. That's this. That's just the God's honest truth. Listen

(11:25):
here. But no, no, there's some looks up for you and his tiny, his big old nose. He lifts
back his hood and you can see he's like patches of hair and he's like, you do got to wait
a long time for good boob cheese. You know, I've had some delicate boob cheese in my time
and it was, you know, something else. But now that there's the Gorgon's old Gorgon areola

(11:46):
cheese. That was one of them. And then then a little bit of wine on the side and a little
bit of like some whey protein crackers. Okay, he accepts and he's like snacking on it the
whole time. As you guys start walking up this hallway, are you, are you treated nice here?
Young Darkling? He's like, yeah, I follow and roast cheese. My queen, she treats me well.

(12:16):
I send the rest of the darklings. Yes. I didn't come to work for a hag. Well, she came to
us. We lived in a cave. She came. We, oh, it was only five. So it didn't go off. I don't

(12:38):
know why it didn't go off. Family. Thanks for the five bits. Story Dad. Cheers, bud.
Hey. Well, I missed you, Story Dad. I got to talk to you soon. Yeah, a little birdie
told me Story Dad's doing another prerecorded campaign and it's going to have Steve and
Proteus on it. I mean, not only am I jealous that he didn't invite me to play, but I am
very excited for my friends that get to play over there. It's going to be awesome, dude.

(13:02):
Sick has sick has an all star cast, if you will. Hell yeah. Good shit. I'm excited to
play, but like they record on Thursdays and you're not, you're busy on Thursdays. Yeah.
They record on Thursdays is the problem. I know. Well, you got to switch your schedule

(13:24):
if you want this talent. Get the fuck up. Just kidding. Okay. As you're walking up this
hallway, he's clenching down on crackers and then another world tabletop just cheered
200 bits. Next time, Turkey. You bet your ass. You bet your ass, Aaron. Cheers, bud.

(13:48):
Can we put another world in our, in, in menstruation federation? That's not just the code name
for it. Yeah, we'll see. As you're walking up this hallway, you can see dark and dingy
curtains line it. There are numerous, numerous paintings that line this long darkened hallway.

(14:10):
The floorboards creak under your feet as you walk. And it's almost quiet just with the
sound of him snacking on crackers. Talking about Darkling society and how he used to
follow a drow from the underdark until she started making changes. And he, him and his

(14:30):
darkling friends, no one did to follow this drought queen. And so he left. But now they
follow the hag here in the wild beyond. Eventually, after this walking, of course, is there anything
you guys want to do in this hallway before I move on? No, gotcha. Is there any paintings

(14:53):
in this hallway? There are dozens. As we pass each painting tonight, tilt it slightly. Yes.
Do you want to do it secretively? Yes. Roll me a sleight of hand. Also, while he's doing

(15:15):
that, I'll just be holding Trinket's hand. Me and Trinket are just holding hands. Nice.
17. Wow. Really good sleight of hand roll there, bud. 13. 13. Okay. Still good though.
You're putting them all slanted. As you're putting them all slanted, all the eyeballs
on these look like as if they watch you as you're going down the hallway. And one of

(15:41):
them, you tip it slanted and it's got its eyeballs in the hole and then you tip it sideways
and it's like the eye is like crooked. It looks like this now. Like trying to see through
the, through the hole. I got a pipe on the floor. Of course, you come across the painting
of a very well established king, naked, riding on a knoll with a large sword and his dong

(16:07):
is draping on the ground. Shout out King Orcalius. Anytime there's a painting in our world, there's
also one of him. Now, you guys get to the end and an open air amphitheater is carved
from the slope of this mountaintop. Short cloaked figures, all darklings sit on little

(16:31):
stone benches facing the stage. Enclosed the stage are 10 foot high stone walls above which
you can see the stormy sky. There are a team of masked goblins that are preparing the stage
for the next performance. Lighting is provided by an intricate overhead contraption upon

(16:55):
which several more masked goblins are perched moving the lights around and the sounds of
chains clanking and gears turning can be heard coming from somewhere under your feet in the
mountaintop. But you look up to the left to see in the balcony a large chair made out
of bones, flesh, and other weird wooden contraptions and sitting in that chair seems to be the

(17:20):
hag queen herself. The little darkling turns back to you finishing off his last cracker
and says, hey, you are a deal is a deal. And he puts his hood back over his head and shambles
back over to the benches and shares some of the cheese with his friends. The hag queen
Indalyn looks down upon you two and she says, well, well, well, a couple more performers

(17:48):
have come to my stage. Please, I want to see you better. Center yourselves in front of
me. And she waves to this open area in front of the benches in between the benches and
her in the balcony. Holy shit. Certifiable underscore node subscribed. After 29 months

(18:15):
of grouch couch, I found my spot. It faces the stream at an angle to easily view while
still working while not so far to inhibit participation. It's within two steps of a
variety of booths, fans, windows, and a handy wallet for gifting subs and bitties. There
are many spots on the couch, but this one is mine. I don't know why, but I just fucking

(18:37):
love that. That ending bit was so fucking wholesome. Cheers certifiable. There are many
rifles, but this one is mine. I love that. There are many spots on the couch, but this
is my spot on the couch. God, we got to implement that somewhere. That is so fucking wholesome.
Cheers buddy. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Come on, Jack. Can we get some love? You're here

(18:58):
and you're active in chat. Let's get some love. Hmm. And he gifted to a sub. A part
of the crew. Oh, and the follow ups. Certifiable underscore node gifted community subs. Yeah,
he did. Yeah, he did. Many spots on the couch. Merch win. Good point. Very good point. But
thank you for the gifted sub cert. Cheers buddy. Gosh. 29 months. My goodness. Okay.

(19:28):
I want to change our background. I don't really have anything set for this setting, so I'm
just going to put us inside somewhere. We're just going to be here. All right. Fair enough.
Now, um, what do you guys do? Well, we are centering ourselves with the incentive to

(19:48):
stage up. Yeah. Well, uh, hello. My name is, you know, Reiner and we would like to, you
know, perform at your place or, you know, the thing do. She says, Reiner, Van Ritter,

(20:13):
you think I don't know who you are? Oh no, I know, you know who I am. I just want to
give you this opportunity to accept my services of fantastical performing. Yes. If you might.

(20:35):
Well, it seems that the deal is deeper than you might think, Reiner. For I know you, I
know of you and I know what I've stolen from you. Yeah. If you would like it back, I would

(20:58):
like it back. Then we can come to an accord. Okay. Uh, what would this accord consist of?
Well, you will perform. If you perform well, you make me laugh. You make me cry. And you

(21:21):
follow my stage hands lead. I will give you back your lovely Selena as is. And you will
go free. If you perform and you fail, then I will take you, your friend and her little
sister for my own. Now you two will both be performing together, of course. And little

(21:51):
sister can take her seat on the stage. On the seats. So you must work together. Ha.
You need a big backup dancer? I mean, you know anybody that plays drums? I can't carry

(22:18):
a tune for shit. No, no, no, no, no, no. It will not be music. You will be acting. Acting?
I haven't like, done this too much before. You know, it was kind of like a new role for
me. Uh, not really the best at it. So can we do something else? Maybe? No. Like, how

(22:47):
about sex? I'm pretty okay with that. Yes, I'm sure you are, Renner. I've spoken thoroughly
to Selena and know your past. And that's why on this day you will be doing something different.
Okay. Well, I'm out of ideas. I mean, I could act. I can do that. If you agree to these

(23:15):
terms, you will head to stage left and join my goblin helper who will guide you. You'll
have a few minutes to prepare and then you will perform. Now this, uh, hey, hey, madam
hag. I'm sorry. Thank you. My dear. Now I should, I should tell you, uh, although I

(23:46):
would love to show my acting chops on the stage by, by, by my oath to myself, I should
tell you that, uh, we did promise a certain sister of yours. We would purposely fuck up
your play. Uh, well, from what I hear, that thieving sister of mine that stole my cat

(24:15):
has perished. So it seems that your promises are broken. Oh, that Kate's yours? Yes. I
know. Huntington Gunther. What worth the third is yours. You know, if my cat, yeah, he makes,

(24:38):
he's, he's been, he's, he's around. We may be able to strike another record. Then I was
like, oh my goodness. He's a fast to feeler. 100. Thank you. Evil villain indeed. Making

(25:05):
him do a demo reel. Did you love and care for that cat? He performed tasks for me performed
on the stage. That didn't answer my question. Well, he was more of a, um, object of mine
to say I owned him. Well, that doesn't seem right. I don't know if I like that phrasing.

(25:35):
Yeah. I bet you own a great many things. I do in my collection, which you may get to
see if you finish your performance. Now, do you agree? Well, it depends what kind of performance
is it. You will be acting. Yeah. But there's like a kind of acting where we get strung

(26:02):
up like puppets or something and forced to kill each other. And I just can't abide by
that. I'd like to know at least the script. No tricks, no slights. Just do well. Simple.
Reiner, do you think you can do well with some lines? I think so. I mean, like, can't

(26:32):
be that. Okay. We have come to an accord. I don't like that all the details haven't
come out. But what besides Reiner's friend, what do we get if we impress you? And what
are your what actually does impress you is another question I have. But I can't imagine

(26:56):
you answer that for us. So I have a bunch of like mechanics and stuff that I'll explain
afterwards. The Goblin's going to tell you. But what she says is make me laugh, make me
cry. Tell a good story and read the lines provided to you. We are about to be like Jeannie
fucked or something, you know? Yeah, that's what I'm saying here. That's why I'm stalling

(27:22):
because I don't like I don't like it. I don't like these terms. There's too much at stake
and I've been dealing with fairies my whole goddamn life. And you know, like I got duped
by my own family. I won't be duped by some hag. Pull that. Like I'd much rather just
heard me like, Yeah, I got your dad in the cell somewhere. Bring him out and I'll just
crush his head with my bare hands. Let's go. Fratricide motherfucker. Harder to trust her.

(27:49):
How about this? Change the music. That make you feel better? Yes. Go and perform. Everything
will be fine. Yeah, fuck it. Whatever. Accord. Her hand extends over the balcony and down

(28:17):
to you guys and you can see these nailed little fingers outstretched and she reaches out to
you, Rhina, for the shake. And you grab and she shakes and you feel like this like invisible
twine wrap around your hand and then release. She goes, Okay, off you go. Now, you guys

(28:42):
have chosen to perform. As you step up the stairs stage left, a goblin appears in a jester's
costume. He taps his clownish scepter on the floor to get your attention and he says, To
impress the dame of unhappy endings, you will need to perform a tragedy. Something gruesome,
depressing and darkly humorous. Now I have just the play. In a rolled up script suddenly

(29:07):
appears in his hand. Normally we would have several hours to prepare but alas, time is
of the essence. And since you don't have time to memorize all of these lines, we need
to improvise. He tosses the script over one shoulder and he says, Worry not. I'll feed
you the lines from the wings if you get stuck. Now I want to pause the music because here

(29:30):
my friends is how this is going to work. Can I have your scepter? He goes, Why? My scepter?
Why? It just looks mighty interesting. Can I have it? Can I see it? Well, my friend,
does you have something to trade? I got plenty of snacks. I do want snacks. All right. Well,

(29:54):
you seem like a humorous little feller. I have an abalone shell that giggles when you
put it up to the air. You'll laugh at all your jokes. Uh, actually, roll me persuasion.
You should do. Roll me persuasion. I got an abalone shell. Roll me persuasion. Persuasion?

(30:16):
Yes. I don't have a bottle opener. It was just a four. He goes, No. I want your dumb
shell. Sorry. Dumb shell, nothing. I've had it my entire time. I've been in the Bay Wild.
Cheers, chat. This is going to be a really fun mechanic. So home ball, you guys are fucking

(30:40):
paying attention. It's going to be fun. Um, you guys get to read along. It's going to
be great. It's going to be way better than the performance we did back in the college
years. I'll tell you that much. Here we go. Although that was fun. So here's the way this
is going to work. First off, remember there was a jester scepter. Yes, indeed. Now, first

(31:02):
off, um, the first part of this, he runs over to a costume closet. You guys follow him over.
I have a roll chart here that's going to have a role in the play that you are going to play
to give you a little bit of backstory for playing this other character that you're going
to be. It is a D8 roll chart. If you roll on it once, you don't like your outcome. I
will allow you to roll again. But I need each one of you one by one to roll me a D8. Whose

(31:27):
line is it anyway? Not exactly, but I would love to figure out a way to do something like
that in the future. Seven. I got a seven. So yours is a foolish minstrel and Connor got
a four. You are a mean spirited servant. Do you guys want to roll again? I feel like minstrel

(31:49):
is more his thing. So yeah, I'm going to roll again if that's all right. Fine, I'll roll
again. All right. I got three. And an eight. Okay. On a three, you are a high and mighty
princess and an eight is an honorable knight that has been risen from the dead. Ah, fair

(32:15):
enough. Okay. Performing the play. I'm just going to read this out to you guys. You know
what the fuck is going on? Cause I feel like this is good for stuff like this as well as
check to know what's going on. You guys must ad lib a tragedy. Whatever your characters
say and do is up to you for the most part, but you must find a way to incorporate the

(32:35):
stage fright's lines into your plays dialogue. And each time one of you guys delivers one
of the lines, I will drop a another line for you guys to have in your pool of lines. Okay.
You can freely move around the stage and you could make up pretend props that you're going
to be using or anything else like that. And I will give you, giving you extra successes
if you come up with funny things or tragedies. Um, if one of your characters dies or meet

(32:59):
some other tragic end during the play, you can then roll to play a different character.
All right. Um, that's the way it's going to work. Now you will get a success every time
you use one of the lines, make up something funny, do something cool, use a prop. All
right. You're going to get failures every time you take too long to use a line or if
you stutter, et cetera. Um, and basically you just need to have enough successes by

(33:21):
the end to make Indalyn laugh. Now, the fun thing about this is I am going to provide
to start, we're going to have three lines. I'm going to put three of these lines into
the public love death and dice chat so everyone watching can see them and you guys can have
them there. Whenever one of you says the lines, I'm going to drop a new one in there. All
right. Now this book has a whole bunch of lines and I'm just going to pick randomly

(33:47):
from this book and we're going to go for a couple of minutes here. Fair enough. And
can you remind again? I know I'm a princess, but that, that forgot everything else. Number
three, you're high and mighty, high and mighty. High and mighty. Yeah. Undead night. You're
a bitch. Undead. Yeah. So here are our first lines. I'm going to drop in here. Um, now

(34:17):
I'm going to pretend like I'm not listening. If you guys want to come up, you have a minute
to come up with some kind of anything that you want to, and you could talk amongst yourselves
out of character chat can throw things in there as well for your two characters to go
with. Um, you can also pretend to use other stagehands, other goblins and things, although
they're not going to really say very much, but you can, you know, improv it and stuff
like that. And I would make sure you have the public love death and dice chat open.

(34:42):
Cause that's where your lines are going to be. Oh, the public one. Yeah. Cause I want
chat to be able to see and to be able to see how you incorporate these lines. Cause I think
that that is funny. I guess I could put them into chat here, but they might disappear.
I could do that as well. I'll do both or one of the other. We'll see how it goes. Okay.

(35:13):
Um, timer starts now, whenever you guys want to, um, or we could take a break so you could
brainstorm. We can come right back. Cause I didn't, I wouldn't say no to a break. Yeah.
Alright. And we can talk. I think I already have an idea of what to do. Hell yeah. Excellent.

(35:36):
Oh, I think certifiable is trying to cast a command and invisible sprite as a filter
of love, um, to Indolence drink as Reiner takes the stage. Ooh. See D and D beyond.
I like that certifiable. You're so clever. As well pay him for his being so gosh darn

(36:00):
clean. Certifiable underscore nerd. Just redeemed custom potion. Did the command not go off?
See previous. Hell yeah. Filter of love. Um, uncommon. The next time you see a creature
within 10 minutes after drinking this, you become charmed for one hour. Um, if the creature
is a species and gender you're normally attracted to, you regard it as your true love. The postons

(36:25):
of Rose Hughes, evalescence liquid contains one easy to miss bubble shaped like a heart
to become charmed by that creature. So we're going to make your roles easier. She's going
to like be like way more into everything you do. So remember that it's going to make a
little bit easier for Reiner. Okay. We're going to take quick five minutes. We're going
to come right back. Everybody. I'm going to where hello everybody. Welcome back to love

(36:47):
death and dice. The wild beyond. I'm a dungeon monster Turk and I'm here at the GrouchCouch.fm.
Thank you so much for tuning in. Up next we've got Kate and Connor. Hello. Appreciate y'all
for joining us. Being fucking awesome. Yeah. This is episode 12. We've only got after tonight.

(37:08):
We only have one more episode, which means next week is our finale of love death and
dice. The wild beyond. Then we're coming back with a metal ass fucking campaign. Possibly
call it Cthulhu. Possibly a fucking heavy metal rock band. Possibly some really brutal
epic ass shit could be. Who knows. Tune in. I'm after the finale to figure out more deals
about that. We are currently raising money for all of those said things. All right. So

(37:30):
thank you so much for supporting the fucking show and being here and being awesome. Yes.
But right now these two guys have entered into the hags castle in Dillon and she has
asked them to perform. Now they've each been given designated roles and some lines to perform.
Excuse me. Beer burps. So you guys have rolled. You are going to be a princess. Hi. In my

(37:57):
teeth. Princess. And you are going to be an undead knight. Right. Now the way this is
going to work. You guys are performing to impress said hag and the way this is going
to work is you guys have lines that you must read within a certain amount of time and every
time you read one of the lines I'm going to drop a new one into that their discord chat
for you guys to have in your arsenal. I'm starting you with three. All right. And then

(38:21):
I'm going to drop more and more as we go on. If you get enough successes before you end
your little play which let me know just say scene when it's done if you think you've done
enough and you can also use props you can make up things you can use the other goblin
stage hands for random shit if you want to. And you can roll skill checks as well while
you're performing as much as you want to for additional successes. So this is what we're

(38:45):
doing and chat everyone here in chat you can see them there in the public love death and
dice chat in our discord. So if you want to see how they say these lines and the way that
they use them they're all in there for you guys to be able to check out any questions.
I think it makes sense. Sorry I think it makes sense. Oh the sickness it took my brain. I'm

(39:07):
sorry. It's totally cool. So do we have to roll when we say these lines or do we have
are we just acting there's no roles or nothing. But like if you want to do a backflip for
some fucking reason then you would have to roll an acrobatics. Yeah. But okay. That's
what we're going to be doing all backflips. That's basically what I mean. Like yeah you
can make skill checks but you don't have to make any. All backflips. All right. Oops.

(39:33):
All backflips. That's it. OK. I'm going to start the music and the stagehand walks out
to you with the scepter. He looks at you two guys and he's like OK. So do you have an idea.
I'm here to help. I think so. I know I asked before just to see it but I think your scepter

(39:54):
would make a mighty fine princess scepter if I could borrow it for the performance.
Roll me deception. From Forge of Lore our boy Steve. You said deception. Yeah absolutely.

(40:16):
Cheers Forge. Hi Steve. Hi Emmy. Hi Tyler. Hi guys. Hello. Thank you for coming in here.
I am 15 this time. OK. We'll play on that in a second. But first thank you so much for
the raid there Steve. How did your thing go today. How was it. Thank you so much for joining
us. These guys are about to improv their butts off because we're doing a theater performance
in front of a hag and it's really fun and you guys should hang out for it if you want

(40:39):
to. But welcome to the Grouchcatch. Cheers boys. Today's episode 12 of our campaign which
means next week is our finale before we start prepping for our new one. And we're currently
starting to raise some funds to buy costumes and other kinds of things for that next campaign.
Should be great. Cheers you guys. So those of you guys that are in our Discord just raided

(41:03):
in with Steve. There's a public love death and dice chat. I put some lines in there.
These guys have to use those lines while they're performing. Proteus got the role of being
a high and mighty princess and Connor is an undead knight and they're performing for the
hag and they're just currently talking to the goblin stagehand before they go on. That's
where we're at. Thank you guys for joining us. So you got a. 15. 15. 15. Okay. Will you

(41:31):
give me my scepter back when you're done? I believe that can be arranged. All right.
A deal's a deal. And he hands it over to you. It's pretty nice. It's like red and white
striped all the way up to the top. It's got a little dome on it. It kind of looks like
a clown head on the top of the scepter. Yeah. It's actually to you being the tall tiefling

(41:54):
you are pretty small. Kind of like this. It's definitely not like a staff. It's like a tiny
little yeah. About that size. There you go. Okay. Reiner any final preparations for the
curtains open? Little goblin guy. Can I get like a rope or a wire maybe attached to like

(42:18):
my chest to, you know, give an illusion of me raising out of rave, you know, like. Oh
wait, no, nevermind. I have my wings. I'll just here. Can you paint my wings black? So
it blends in with with. I can do that. But he's gonna he's gonna roll a survival goblin.

(42:38):
See how well he does it. My days isn't connected. I know he got a five. It's not great, but
he paints your wings black. That's not great. I could have done the better job honestly.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I got you know, I paint my face every so often. He's like you too.

(43:03):
The curtains are closed. Soon as the curtains open, you're going live. If you need anything,
look back to me. I'll be yelling lines at you from the sideline. Yeah, let me get that
open here so I have it prepared. He's like, okay, now if we have to ask the Goblin for
lines, do we get do we get penalized? No, that's just kind of like the roleplay aspect of it.

(43:24):
The lines are actually in the discord for you to see. So make sure you have that open.
Yeah, I'm just gonna be posting them in there as I go. But everyone pretend like he's yelling
them at you from the side from what you have to say. Okay. He goes right on stage left.
You go all the way to the left. Violet, you stand on the right side. The curtains are
closed. The music begins. The curtains begin to open. And you hear the crowd like, and

(43:57):
the hag up at the top. MS Liz Lane just redeemed random item. Violet. The curtains open. The
curtains open. The hag takes a sip of her drink. I'm currently laying down on the stage.

(44:17):
And I use my fairy wings to float me up to standing like like a Dracula out of a coffin.
Yeah. And as I stand, I say, it is I, Lord Fallis of Brigham. I've come to gain the favor
of Princess Labia. Fair Lady Labia, where art thou? I am fair Princess Labia. Who darest

(44:56):
look for mine presence? It is I, Knight Fallis of Brigham. And I have come for your favor,
Princess Labia. You dare speak of this rascal? Yes, I do. And you must understand, Princess

(45:26):
Labia, I love all of you and I devote my service and time to your eternity. At a moment's whim,
I shall grant my life in service of yours. Did you speak? For I thought it was the braying

(45:47):
of an ass. Why, yes, your ladyship, I've come to protect you from all of the evil things
in this land. What evil do I need to be protected from when it is you that stands before me

(46:11):
that is most foul? Why? Probably, you know, the undead creatures that roam this land,
for you know, I am a living creature, obviously. Supposed to be a tragedy. Just remember that.
You impressed the hag for it to be a tragedy. On the contrary, I acknowledge all of your

(46:36):
faults. You acknowledge me, my fair Lady Labia. I am honored. I shall escort you to your bedroom.
You shall not stand within an inch of me, you heat foul beast. Right, personal space.

(46:58):
I will not be escorted by the likes of you. Whom would you be escorted by, my fair Lady
Labia? One that still beats, that has pink in their cheek and was not struck by a sword,

(47:25):
most villainous and plighteth. I shall be on the search for this person, my fair Lady,
in the meantime. How shall you be escorted to your room? I shall escort myself, but not

(47:47):
at this time. You shall stay in the grave where you have been left to rot. Been left
to rot? What do you mean, my liege? You see, my liege, he's dead. You haven't said one
of the lines. Hit them lines, baby. My liege, he's dead. That's another one, correct. It

(48:13):
seems we are in a bit of a pickle. You fetch my steed. We ride at dawn. Why are you laughing,

(48:34):
my fair Lady? Was it something I said? For there is no one left to fetch your steed.
There is not one that can call you their liege. There is not one before you that would stand
in call to you, you foul heathen. You called once too many, too many, fair Lady, and you

(48:58):
met your fate with the dirt and the worms. What manner of ghoul is this that I see before
me? It is you. My fair Lady, have you stricken me down? And I shall strike you again, if

(49:27):
necessary, to save this world for all that plights it. You are the reason the women choose
the bear. You killed me, my fair Lady. Take this. Hurts, doesn't it? Hurting. What would

(49:55):
you, what would you know of pain and suffering for what you have put everyone in this kingdom
through? I will strike you again. Am I to make a pie from all these crumbs? Hold on
to thy seat. This trail has more bumps to come. Stop saying that. Are you a fool? I

(50:30):
would not wish you upon a toad. I shall make a banquet of your dreams in hell. Guys, I'm
supposed to add them in, not only read them. We've found... It seems you always lose me,

(50:53):
fair Lady. And I am wounded, but I am already dead, so it does nothing. Idiot. Come close,
come close to me, my sweet knight. I wish to look on eyes before I go. And take you
with me as I behead you. I will behead you, cause night comes and we must both away. And

(51:21):
I shall slit his throat and take his head with me. My help is shriveled like a grape.
Let's make wine of it. I think this is scene. And scene? And scene? You gotta hold up your
hand like you're holding his head. What do we think, chat? Was that a tragedy? Was that

(52:00):
a tragedy? Gosh, that's so fucking funny, dude. That's so fucking funny. Here's what
we're gonna do. I was trying to add in the lines naturally. I was trying. And I was just
copying and pasting. I wasn't even reading them. I was just like, eugh, and I was reading
them after. Leading man was just doing something. I don't know. I was trying to read the lines

(52:23):
as they were given. He had plans. He had plans. Um, okay. Did they succeed, I spelled that
wrong. I don't care. And telling a tragedy, you guys, was it a good story? Was it or not?
We're gonna do a poll. You guys can vote on it, huh? An undead knight comes back alive

(52:53):
to see his beloved. He figures out that his beloved killed him and then he kills his beloved
while she slices his head off. Tragedy? Hmm? You're the reason women choose bears. What
the fuck? Uh, I should make a banquet of your dreams. Hush my sweet dumpling. Knight comes.

(53:14):
We must away. Jesus. You got one vote for no. Someone's like, nope. Nope. We got 38
votes for yes. You're all doing good. You're killing it. You're killing it. The curtains

(53:38):
close and as the curtains close, you guys hear thunderous clapping from the darklings.
Oh, I thought they were like twerking in the crowd. No. And the curtains close, the torches
come back up and the goblin comes out and he's like, very good. Very good. Indolent

(54:00):
will see you now. My scepter. Yeah, of course. There you go. Give it back and he goes, yes.
Yes. Really happy to have it back. You guys leave down the stairs. You go back into the
center. Mendeleine's stroking her face, slicking down at you. And she says, how do you feel

(54:29):
you perform? I think it was pretty good for like, you know, a man of mine. First draft.
For a first run through, I would say it was pretty gosh darn good. Confidence. Yeah, you

(54:52):
could say that. We are like confident and shit. Well, I'd say I'm pretty humble about
it. I would say I'd like another go or two, but you know, there's always room for perfection.
Indeed. And might I say you have very long and gray boobies today. Fair Indolent. You

(55:23):
roll me a charisma check there, Ringer. Didn't say my line, penis. Zero out of 10. It was
in the discord. This is a 14. Do I get any plus or minuses from the potion she got slipped?
She's charmed. So what I'll say is that she says, okay, I will not hurt you this day.

(55:48):
I will choose to ignore that. What's it? She's like, I guess the deal is a deal. Now I didn't
cry, but I did chuckle. And your character, the undead knight, how did he perish? Oh,

(56:15):
you didn't, you didn't understand this from the first time. It's the first time it was
the princess that killed him because he was too like unwanted advances. No, I thought
it was promiscuity. I didn't want it. Okay. Yeah. Like the popular pew saying, he nods

(56:43):
and she says, okay. And your character, the princess, the princess doesn't like nights.
I don't think that part of the couch, no, they just, they just made it. I just described
miss you violet. Oh, gala. Oh, gala. Uh, but no, I wouldn't say she's not in tonight. It's

(57:09):
just not that night when they don't take no for an answer. Much like her, her, her quote
of you are the reason women choose the Bayer. They'd feel safer around a Bayer than they
feel around that night. It's just that night in particular. Okay. Well, a deal is a deal.

(57:34):
Her handouts extends out and she has this little rusty key in between her nails and
she drops it into your hand. Rainer. She says, venture forth into my castle. I have another
play I'm going to watch in the castle. You will find my room, my room of my favorite

(57:59):
toys and in there you will find Selena. Okay. Okay. On with you then.

(58:23):
Rider just sprinting. It's like, you know, you can pretend a little less like you got
a giant boner happening. Like, could you such good? That's why I'm walking. I can't fly
with it. That was pretty damn good, dude. All right, Trinket. Come on. Let's, let's
go follow the giant main whore. Let's go. You to venture forth with Trinket into mother

(58:50):
horn, the castle here, you get to another long, long darkened hallway. You pass by a
dressing room where some darklings are getting ready for their next performance. You have
a peek inside. One of the female darklings slurps the door because she was naked. You
spotted her. You were quite beautiful, Mayim. You continue on down this hallway. This shadowy

(59:21):
hallway has a backdrop. It's painted to look like a library bookshelf, but it's not actually
any kind of library bookshelves. And as you're walking up this hallway, you eventually make
it back to the dressing room, even though you've been going forward and you see the
darkling who was naked again. And she says, and she shuts the door and you continue walking

(59:48):
forward. You have wonderful gray skin, Mayim. Long gray titties. Nice. And these painted
bookshelves on the walls just continue. And you continue walking up it. And then eventually
you get back to the dressing room with the darkling who's naked. She sees you see her

(01:00:10):
and she goes, and she shuts the door and you continue walking.
All right, it's pretty clear we're going in a surger. Good God. Okay.
Taven talks just redeem chaos card. Violent.
Nice.
Also, what was the random item I got?
I've got it here. God damn. Dragon scale mail.

(01:00:35):
Oh, hot darn. All right.
Yeah. I think you think, Amy, for this one or Liz, you think Liz for this one. It's
dragon scale mail. It's made of the scales of one kind of dragon. So you get to pick.
You've got black, blue, brass, bronze, copper, gold, green, red, silver, or white. And each
one of these has a different kind of resistance. And while wearing this army, you get a plus

(01:00:56):
one bonus to AC. You have advantage on saving throws against the frightful presence and breath
weapons of dragons. And you have resistance to one damage type that is determined by the
kind of dragon provided by the scales that you choose. Additionally, you can focus your
senses in action to magically discern the distance and direction of the closest dragon
that is within 30 miles of you. This special action can't be used again until the next

(01:01:18):
day or dawn. So you get plus one AC and you get resistance against one type of element.
You see, it's called dragon scale mail. Yeah. All right. And then I can choose any one of
these. All right. I'm adding it to my inventory, but I can't use it till tomorrow. Right. That's

(01:01:40):
what it said. No, no, no. You can't use the special ability. You can only use special
ability once. Oh, this armor doesn't require attunement. You could put it on right now.
Oh, shoot. All right. Well, we were black. So I'm sorry. I'm frightful tired. I'm I think
I think I'll just work at the black armor, the black scale, my armor. There we go. And

(01:02:03):
to quit me. There we go. Got that going. All right. And then and then what was the other
thing that happened? Chaos card. You have language. You magically gain the ability to
speak one language of your choice for one day. Oh snap. Um, what a darkling speak. Actually,

(01:02:28):
I don't know. Darklinian. Darklinian. Sylveon. Oh, I already speak that. So that's that's
dumb. Um, they also speak elvish. It's pretty close to Sylveon, isn't it? Can I choose to

(01:03:02):
speak to splicer beast? Speak to animals, you mean? Because that's what I mean. Yeah,
sure. You never know. They might all speak their own language. Does that count? Or should
I pick something else? Pick something else. All right. Uh, let's go with a goblin. Let's

(01:03:22):
just let's just go goblin for now. Because you said there were a couple of goblins around.
Yeah. Okay. You guys continue down the hallway. There are bookshelves on the walls, but they
look like they're just painted on the walls to form some kind of library as you walk the
torches. Can I stop at one of these bookshelves and like look at them? And uh, cause they're

(01:03:49):
painted on the walls. Can I see if there's any like cracks in the sides of the walls
where they might like slide open? Why don't you roll me in arcana check? All right. Arcana.
It's a seven. I was worried it was a one for a second. So I'd say shit. Yeah, that's crazy.

(01:04:13):
They look like painted walls or bookshelves. Wow. Okay. Well I'm getting bored with seeing
the same naked lady again. Can I check that all the things? Hell yeah you did. All right.
I'll tell her. Certifiable underscore no just redeemed advantage violet. I got a 19. You

(01:04:40):
might hit the net. So I get some. All right. And then yeah, I got a seven again. All right.
A two. Um, you look at these books and it looks like some of the titles on the books
are like a different color. They're like almost like glowing and you imagine they must somehow
be connected to this infinite hallway. And you start reading the titles of the books

(01:05:06):
and some of them stick out to you. It mentions the witch light queen and it mentions something
about the carnival and it mentions some odd kind of phrase and being that you just got

(01:05:26):
your intelligence back. I want you to make me an intelligence check to see if you can
put it all together. All right. And my intelligence now gets a plus two. Right? Like that's why
I remember we say it. Yes. So I can roll it like it's a saving throw books. Sure. And

(01:05:48):
advantage. All right. Fifteen. Fifteen or one. Cool. Fifteen. Looking through the books,
you can discern with your intelligence that all the book titles are lit up this way. And
it basically means that to escape the person trapped in here currently happens to be the

(01:06:11):
current queen of the witch like carnival. She must speak the special phrase to be able
to escape. And like someone in chat to use name a thing and throw out a phrase for her
to speak. And if she speaks my favorite, she will break the hallway curse. Everybody in

(01:06:32):
chat. I think your favorite. Get the fuck out of here. Only one person make a phrase.
Get out of here. Come on. I see Reiner typing.

(01:07:13):
I mean, to be fair, I just want to say that in this accent pizza day. I just want to say
it. Well, they're making it easy for you. OK, you've got four to choose from. You guys

(01:07:37):
are the worst. You guys are the worst. Couldn't be something cryptic and mystical. Jesus.
That's fair. No, you you train this audience to do nothing but dick jokes. Half of the
places in Antarctica are named after penises. You trained them for this. All right. All

(01:07:58):
right. You get two tries. Go. Yeah, I learned it from watching you, dad. Exactly what Steve
said. You're my buddy. No. All right. I want to be like you. I really just want to say

(01:08:20):
that one because it would I mean, you did laugh at it openly. So I'm going to go with
that. I'm going to go with one of the ones you openly laughed at in the beginning, which
is schlitz, tits and zits. Try again. Oh, OK. There's no snow, has it changed? Maybe.

(01:08:50):
They keep adding more. Dragons and weavers come to play, but bad dragons stay in the
closet for another day. OK, spank me, Steve. All right. Fair enough. As you say that, the

(01:09:11):
bookshelves pop out of the wall and all the books that had the golden glowing titles flutter
around above you and like circles like these birds. And then I'll go to the end of the
hallway and I'll land down and form a wall. And a bunch of the books are a different color

(01:09:31):
like a brownish green. The rest of them are red and it forms a doorway in this brownish
green. And then in a flash and a twinkle of magic, the door where your hand would go,
the book where your hand would go forms a doorknob. It like pops out of the cover of
the book. All right, well, I'm going to reach for that big old knocker and I'm going to

(01:09:55):
give it a squeeze and a turn. All right. You turn it. And you arrive to the new area. New
frontier. I don't think this is going to be shaped right, but I don't care. I want to

(01:10:20):
show you what I'm visualizing right now. Hello. You guys step in. I know my best. It's dark.
Oh, well ain't that just something special. Who drew this? Me when I was angsty and 15.

(01:10:56):
Scores of wooden marionettes hang from the ceiling of this oddly shaped room, the floor
of which is strung with old play scripts. Near the entrance are two alcoves, one containing
a bare table, the other holding a wooden chest with tiny clawed feet. Deeper in the room
as you step in, you can see a wicker basket surrounded by miniature toy birds. Scores

(01:11:22):
of hourglasses are fixed to the walls. Whenever the sand of an hourglass runs out, the mechanism
that is in the hourglass of the wall causes it to flip over. The steady hiss of all of
those falling grains of sand can be heard all throughout the room. A large glass colored,
large glass doored wardrobe with a jade eye embedded in it stands on the far side of the

(01:11:47):
room in the wide alcove. Rainer, I say since your girlfriend's probably in here somewhere,
I'm gonna let you take the lead. Can I start looking at the puppets? Yeah. Uh, roll me

(01:12:13):
an insight. Dirty twenty. Nice. As you look at the puppets, all of them are different
races and types of people. Most of them goblins and darklings. As you step forward into the

(01:12:37):
room, they all crack and creak as their heads follow you. Creepy. Roll me stealth Rainer.
Twenty five. Nice. Natural twenty baby. Cheers. You're Gucci. Yes. What do you do? I'm gonna

(01:13:20):
do. Well, they're just looking at me, right? You're moving past them. They don't seem to
watch you completely as you kind of get under them and through them without touching them.
Can I try to open up the. So there's a jade eye adorning the wardrobes bit that's closed.

(01:13:53):
What? How do you open it? My question. Well, then she gave us a key. Can I use that key?

(01:14:14):
Yes. And on your natural twenty stealth check, you put the key into the hole right besides
the eye. And you creak the door open. As you do, you're looking through it and it almost

(01:14:36):
seems empty. There are shelves lining all the way up and there's one shelf with a bigger
opening. Like it can fit something larger, almost like a marionette puppet. And as your
eyes adjust in this complete darkness in this marionette cabinet, you see a marionette sitting

(01:14:59):
on the shelf and you begin to notice that this marionette has some similar features
of Selena. You see her legs, her shoes, her arms, and you get up and you make eye contact
with Selena as the marionette. And she looks out at you and you can see her eyes are scared,

(01:15:29):
but frozen. Can I grab the marionette? You reach out and you grab her and you hold her
in her arms and she looks up at you. And through the wood on her skin, through her wooden

(01:16:15):
How do we fix this? Talk to your loot? Not funny. So you can talk to Selena by making

(01:16:38):
an arcana check to talk to her through your loot. Like you have done in the past. Oh,
yeah, I should. It's an advantage or disadvantage. Okay, certifiable underscore no just retained

(01:17:05):
advantage. Reina Selena, is this you? Can you hear me? Is this you? A sad tone. And
the voice comes through and she's like, Reina, I see you. You you are a puppet. I'm a puppet

(01:17:39):
right now. How did this happen? I don't know how soon. Promise me you go to the palace
of hearts desire. You free the princess. She must know a way to cure me. But promise me

(01:18:05):
you will not challenge the hag for she is powerful right now. I don't know if I do that.
Be careful. I ran or whatever you plan to do on behind you. My power is fading right

(01:18:32):
now. I don't know how much I can control this connection. Take take me with you. Keep me
safe. Okay. Okay. The connection ends.

(01:19:05):
What do you do? Oh, well, my mind is telling me to kill this bitch. As fastly as possible.

(01:19:35):
But I know we can't do that. We have to get out of here. We need reinforcements. Do I
see a sun sun shaped mask wearing a marionette anywhere or a moon shaped mask person anywhere?

(01:20:00):
Love you for that violet. Roll me a perception. Oh, fuck. All right. Perception. Oh, I got
19. Hey, congratulations. You see hanging from the roof. You're so tall. You can reach

(01:20:21):
out and grab it. You don't have to worry about it. But there is a sun mask wearing marionette
just hanging there. Hi, darling. I know you can't answer my nun, but your sister sends
her regards from the outside. I think it's best you come with us. I don't know if you

(01:20:43):
can understand me or nothing, but I hope maybe getting you out of here, you know, you might
be able to, you know, help us. Usually like on her face, like it like cracks and everything
in it like strains, but there's like one side smile. Like I'll take that is a yes. Um, now

(01:21:12):
you know what? Right. Right. Hold her as well. Just real quick. All right. Um, hanging creatures
of the Hags layer. You speak out loud. All of them turn and look down at you. Hi. I realize

(01:21:36):
a great many of you may not be here because you want to be. I am. We would like to free
you if you would be willing to be led by us. We would like to free you and let you lead
your lives. You should not be strung up for someone else's amusement. You have free will.

(01:22:01):
Uh, rattle yourselves around if you'd like to be set free. They all start rattling and
it's the creepiest noise you've ever heard in your life. See, I'm gonna take out my sword
of vengeance, my sweet boy. Now that we're made up and I'm going to do it like a nice

(01:22:22):
swipe up and I'm going to cut them all down and go. She's more rattling. They all just
fucking start falling. You're like jumping on the dresser, cutting more down. There's
like dozens and dozens of these marionettes and they all fall to the ground. All right.

(01:22:47):
Now many of you, I will not be able to, I will not be able to take you with me now,
but we are going to take down this hag. And hopefully. Cleric. What spells do you have?
I'm not a cleric. I'm Tariq Paladin. Uh, alright, paladin spells. I got sacred flame,

(01:23:11):
thermiturgy, word of radiance, bane, hunter's mark, healish rebuke. At some point I got
a whole person and a missy step. Okay. Just checking. All right. What am I supposed to
have? Nothing. I was just wondering. All right. Um, but yeah, uh, that's, that is what I'm

(01:23:43):
going to say. Uh, yeah. I don't know much else, but I feel like we're going to go try
and take this bitch down and see what we can do. Okay. Reiner, anything to say or do?

(01:24:10):
I want to put. We're not going to burn it to the ground. We're just going to, we're
going to take this bitch out and hopefully much like with, with Mr. Huntington, Woodworth
the third, hopefully by fucking slaying this whole, that all suddenly everything will be

(01:24:30):
all right for these folks. Okay. All these marionettes are down on the ground. Some of
them are still rattling. Um, you give your big old speech and there are, let me roll

(01:24:53):
for it. Actually, I want to do a probability. I'm gonna call it really unlikely. That's
a three. What the fuck? Okay. Uh, that's the best result you could have gotten. Um, there
are 14 marionettes that rise from the pile of wood. Some of them look like old heartened

(01:25:24):
adventurers. Some of them fairies, tavern owners, goblins. They don't speak, but you
can see the intensity in their eyes, how upset they are and they stand and they follow you
to out the door as you go out. Ryan, are you holding Selena in your arms and you've got

(01:25:48):
the sun lady over your shoulder and you guys walk out of this room together back into the
hallway with these marionettes. Now we're going to take a quick five minute break because
that was really intense and we're going to come right back just in a minute. All right.
So we're going to do fair enough. Fair enough. Hello everybody. Welcome back to love death

(01:26:12):
and dice tonight's episode has been fairly dark, but tonight's episode is episode 12.
All right. We're only doing 13. That means next week is the finale, the palace of hearts
desire, but only if these two characters survive tonight, depending on what their next actions
are. Things are up in the air. This could be the final episode, but for now these guys

(01:26:35):
just Reiner found Selena. She had been turned into a marionette. They managed to free all
the marionettes and gathered up about 12 marionettes to help them and whatever comes next. You
guys just left out of this secret room in the infinite hallway. As you step out, the

(01:26:56):
infinite hallway looks different than what it did when you went in. This time now there's
a door to the right that goes to an archway that seems to lead outside to the rain and
the thunder until your left. There's a long hallway with curtains that goes back into
the theater room. What may fair tell to you guys do? All right, Reiner, Reiner, I know

(01:27:20):
what we're planning to do and I agree that we should do this, but if you can give me
a second to whistle out the door to possibly get Pete Townsend and maybe our little Agdon
maybe in here so we can have some backup and storm a displacer beast if we can get a little

(01:27:45):
bit of extra help. Since our sweet little pudding pa was wandered off in the night and
we haven't seen him since, I think we could use some extra help just to be safe, but I'm
behind you 100%. We're going to take this bitch down. We need to find the hot stuff.

(01:28:08):
I know. I know it. Yeah, you're good now. I'm trying to be serious and keep my voice
low. Jeez. We need to get out of here. We need to find the palace of Hobbes desire so

(01:28:30):
that we can help Selena. After that, we shall have a siege. You want to do that afterwards?
Presumably we would have more help by then. I mean, once we get to the heart desire, we

(01:28:52):
freeze the blina and then I mean all's well ends well at that point. We wouldn't have
to come back. Oh, we will. Or at least I will. If I have to do it alone, then I will. I'm
saying we could do it right now. I don't think we have enough manpower for that. Plus, I

(01:29:17):
just need to make sure Selena is okay. We need to get out of here now with Selena. All
right. All right. As long as you say so. All right. I'm all look back to the little fellers
following us. And all right, guys, you heard it. We're not going to attack just yet, but

(01:29:42):
find yourselves positions within the Hague's fortress where you can undermine and mess up
what is going on here. I've heard tell that. Yeah, guerrilla warfare. That gist receptor

(01:30:03):
that the little goblin behind stage got. That's the key to something here. Do some crazy shit.
Go crazy. Crawl up in the ravers, untie shit, make things fall apart from the inside. Take
this place down by brick by brick and by God, we will be back and we will bring hell and
high water. They all look at you and they nod. And then creepily weird fashion, their

(01:30:35):
little wooden fingers go into the walls and they climb up the walls and onto the roofs
and then upside down clatter as they crawl all the way up the roof of the hallway. I

(01:30:58):
love that. All right, let's head for the door to the out then. Okay. Now, um, let me get
this here. You guys head over to the door outside. The rain and thunder continues again.

(01:31:21):
You step outside, you wave your sword of vengeance. The flame breaks through the clouds and you
whistle and then through the clouds comes Pete Townsend through the air, pulling the
carriage, the balloon attached to it. It comes around to this balcony and it stops on it.

(01:31:48):
You see Agdon, the little sunflower friend of yours and the moon face person. I don't
remember what we named her. I also doubt it was a chat name. It was two weeks ago. So
strike me on that. But she sees her sister as a marionette and she jumps off the basket

(01:32:09):
of the balloon onto the balcony and reaches out and she grabs her sister as a son and
she goes, Oh God, what did she do to you? It seems a great, any of her favorite toys
have all been turned into marionettes. Oh my God. I'm real sorry. I didn't know I was

(01:32:31):
contagious. We must get to the palace of hearts desire. We must find a way to cure this. We
must have my sister back for this hag will die on the day that the sun and the moon are
reunited. It is foretold. We can get my sister back. Me and her dance together in this hag

(01:32:56):
will die. I believe in this moment. Can I just be like making eye contact with her and
just nodding my head and then we like do like, you know, the yeah, bro, like shake with the
arms like this. Yeah. She will die. Just as you do. I don't have it on this scene. Do

(01:33:23):
I have display capture on this scene? I don't. This other scene isn't set up right. There
we go. That's fair enough. This is what the hag look like. She's cold looking. You look
up to the sky to see out of a window, the hag appears and she's flying on this winged

(01:33:48):
creature that has no flesh. It's all bones. She heads off in the distance to the sky and
the sun person says, or the moon person says she's headed to the palace. We can get her
there. Let's go. All right. Go. Let's go. Let's go. Is that her dumper? Yeah. Does

(01:34:18):
Trinket still have her dragon potion? I think so. I think so too, but I'm not putting Trinket
in any kind of danger if I don't need to. Okay. You guys hop on the balloon and the
little sunflower whispers directions into Pete Townsend's ear and your pumpkin headed

(01:34:41):
friend pulls the lever and the flame goes back into the hot air balloon and you guys
begin floating once again. Can I hop to the side of the basket and start pushing from

(01:35:01):
the outside with my wings? To get it going faster? Hell yeah, you can. Can you roll me
in athletics? Zero. 16. Nice. You push and it helps. You guys take off pretty fast and
you can see, why did that stop? You can see off in the distance the hag on her little

(01:35:24):
flying machine in the clouds going in and out through the thunder in the lightning.
Eventually she goes down and you guys lose track of her. You fly for about another hour
and you can see it up ahead. It looks like a twilight lit palace that emerges from a

(01:35:55):
dream like vision from the clouds. A great marble tower ringed by delicate spires casts
its shadow over the rooftops down below. Bucket! Cheers Bucket! Hi Bucket! How are you? You

(01:36:16):
can see another tower that teeters nearby and torn from the foundations and held aloft
by the so called beanstalk, monstrous vines cling to this palace's walls and go all the
way up the towers and choke all of the foundation on the rock of which this palace sits. Hundreds
of birds burst from the canopy of the ancient forest below and scatter in all directions

(01:36:40):
and moments later you guys float down through the clouds and you can see below in front
of the palace itself the carnival. Oh shit! Alright! The carnival? The carnival.

(01:37:05):
Like the as in like my old employer of the carnival? Yes. So Pete Townsend brings the
carriage to a stop and lowers it down in front of the entrance to the carnival. And hold

(01:37:31):
on I have it here. Dang it. You see your friend? Now dang! What was her name? It's been eight
weeks. The raccoon? Well there's Nikki and Trace. Yeah Nikki. Nikki standing out front
taking tickets from goblins and darklings alike as they enter inside of the carnival.

(01:38:03):
Nikki? She looks over she sees you and she goes will be my stars if it isn't my favorite
tiefling strong woman. What brings you here? What brings me here? But it's not loading.
Hold on. Oh so Nikki's accent was uh oh what are you doing here choppers? Nice thank you

(01:38:29):
so much for the reminder on that. Trace is the one that's got the same accent as me.
Yeah well what brings all of you guys back here? It's good to see you. What brings you
here? Well Violet if you remember the carnival travels everywhere. Goes from here goes to

(01:38:51):
there goes everywhere. Now we should just say to y'all it would have been easier. Yeah
could be but the traveling of the carnival is always unpredictable. We never know where
we're going to be especially whenever we're you know to be inedible. Well uh Nikki I'd
like you to meet somebody. Hold on let me yell at the ringmaster this music's off

(01:39:15):
aloud shut the hell up damn you. Oh don't yell Mr. Witch and Mr. Black you know they're
hard of hearing. It's true. Well we're here at the palace of hearts desire. I didn't think
we'd have very many customers but a lot of people have come on through. Well it's good
for business I guess but uh I I I remember you were my friend Reiner. Hello Reiner. How

(01:39:44):
are you doing? This is my sister this is my sister Trinket. Yeah he we're not doing too
hot we found out one of the hags turned his girlfriend into a puppet. Oh my gosh. Yeah
we don't really know how to change her back. There it is. Seems to me this would be the
most very very powerful curse and he pulls out a little magnifying glass and starts inspecting

(01:40:07):
Selena he's like oh yeah she's still in there she's still in there. Hmm yeah looks like
she's got strong emotions for you Reiner. Only someone who has strong emotions would
be able to live through something like this. If you take about a hundred puppets I'd say
only about 13 of them would live. That's the average anyway. It sounds about right that

(01:40:31):
sounds about what's taking on the entire castle. You got yourself a strong spirit there Reiner.
He seems mad. Uh yeah well I mean wouldn't you be if your girlfriend ended up a puppet
you didn't know how to get her out. Yeah that's true I would be kind of mad myself yes. But

(01:40:54):
uh this fine party of ours um this is my little sister Trinket. Trinket I used to work here.
She's like really? I thought you were an adventurer. Oh well you know daddy dropped me off with
no way to read and write and I ended up here for quite some time. Daddy? Daddy's a piece

(01:41:22):
of shit. Okay. Ah. Wow. But also uh Star Sweety I wanna reintroduce you to your mama. There
you have it. So I my friends this is where we're gonna leave the story tonight because
they don't have the rest of it planned out um but this is it. You guys are back at the

(01:41:46):
carnival back where you started at the very end of our campaign. Can you believe it? So
it's gonna be fun. A lot has happened and we're gonna discuss that during our breakdown
I think. I've got a few things to say. I'm sure Reiner does as well. I'm very excited
to hear about that. So everybody don't go anywhere. Um we're gonna come right back for

(01:42:08):
our short rest and uh we're gonna be out of costume be able to talk to you guys about
all this stuff and talk about the future and everything else we got going on um cause we
are planning a lot for our future. It's gonna be a little bit of changes here on the couch
and I think it's gonna be wonderful. So all of you guys don't go anywhere. We're gonna
come right back in a few minutes for a short rest and hey if you're watching here on YouTube
and you've made it to episode 12 wowee thank you so much for watching the show. If you

(01:42:31):
did enjoy let us know what you thought below and subscribe cause we are working hard. We're
almost to a thousand subscribers here on YouTube at this point of you watching. So thank you
so much for watching and we'll be right back in a few minutes everybody. Hell yeah. Let's
do it. Dang I was like scrambling to find my notes of the carnival cause I know I have
them somewhere. I'm like searching for them cause I have things planned but I couldn't
find them so we're just gonna have to do it next week. All is well. Okay. Okay. Like to

(01:42:56):
start if you guys will allow me. Um I feel like I've always had I've always been self
conscious about describing dark moments that happen in story cause we've always done comedy
for so long. Um and I feel like dark moments are it's hard for me to be able to convey
them and make them dark feeling and like emotional and you know and so I kind of was working

(01:43:19):
hard on that one. I even laid some foreshadowing stuff that the hag said about their toys.
Um there was even a foreshadowing moment four episodes ago when you defeated the last hag
and she turned the unicorn into a toy horse. Um I wanted this to be like a moment you know.
Um and so I want to know your guys thoughts on it. Did I do okay? Should I improve on

(01:43:41):
my dark storytelling? How did it go for you guys? Yeah. I got some shit to say about that.
What the fuck man? You can't. I'm kind of upset honestly cause I don't know how to play
angry Reiner. Reiner's supposed to be fucking goofy all the fucking time. Doesn't really

(01:44:02):
give a shit about anything that's going on. But now you've presented them presented him
with this impossible situation where his one thing he cares about is at risk of being gone
forever and he's fucking furious and now I just like I'm I was talking about it earlier
but I'm struggling trying to find out like how Reiner's going to be angry cause I know

(01:44:28):
he has to be like as somebody that's playing his character. It could be like sad and like
you know optimistic still like we're gonna do this we're gonna figure this out you know
what I mean? Yeah. But yeah I mean you have to be at least slightly mad at the hag for
sure and that's the direction you want to take you can't absolutely. I do I do like
the way Turk you put that just now too cause I think to myself like Reiner's still gonna

(01:44:51):
be trying to play it cool for Selena like he's he's still gonna be you know he's now
with her it's no longer performative it's now well it is still performative it's now
like she has to know that I am cool like I have like you know it's still that like you're
gonna be like I'm going to get this you choose this baby like that kind of a suave debonair

(01:45:15):
kind of like now you have a doll to talk to with a face that she can hear you you know
but I mean that's on you I know you like playing edgelord so I'm fully prepared for the dark
turn you know. If that's the direction you decide to take one thing I will say before

(01:45:37):
you say anything else I like to keep a balance always I knew this was coming so in the last
episode I gave your character a million dollars in a house and then the next episode there
always has to be a balance and I knew this was coming so I wanted it to be like good

(01:45:57):
awesome things are great you know so if your DM ever gives you a million gold maybe think
about what the fuck is coming next. Give it away immediately just like I do not accept
it. I don't accept it.

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