Metal heads VS Skyscraper | Metalomnicon EP9 | Shadowrun Anarchy Actual Play - Love Death & Dice

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
that shop that sells like a bunch of weird hair stuff but how are they open

(00:04):
because you never seen one in there and there's like a vitamin shop you guys
know what I'm talking about right everyone has seen this this is where you
guys are at and I would like to give each one of you guys an opportunity to
let me know maybe what you want to do for a little bit because things are
about to heat up very quickly and this is one of the ample opportunities for
you to be able to explore a little bit and do what you would like so I'm gonna

(00:24):
open the floor to you guys to discuss amongst yourselves for a minute well one
thing's for sure before we get into this fight I definitely need a haircut so I'm
gonna go into that salon over there oh okay do you want company no you guys

(00:48):
can fuck off and do whatever you want have fun yeah I'll try all right before
you guys get a second to think because we're absolutely gonna roleplay this
out Roger you hop out the van you walk across the parking lot across a bunch of
past a bunch of floating cars parked in their spots and you reach this salon

(01:09):
that says what does it say says dead cuts is what it's called you open the
little door tingling and behind the counter is a tough no-nonsense looking
dwarf with short cropped hair and a cybernetic arm she's got a sleek black
apron on is kind of like a uniform and she has a cold calculating gaze she

(01:34):
stands behind the computer as you walk in and she's like you looking for a cut
yeah I need a haircut it's pretty important I need to look good for the
next thing that I do mmm I see you've got got some fuzz you're looking to go
to the skin yeah listen I was wondering if you could just like put a fucking

(01:59):
skull cap of wax on me rip it off make that shit shiny the way that I really
want to play this is like she she first of all she hops off the chair and she's
real short she like waddles over and she like has these chairs but they go in the
reverse instead of like pumping it and the chair goes up you know she pumps it

(02:20):
and it goes down and she's like bringing this chair down to the ground so she can
get to the top of your head and as she's like standing behind you you're sitting
in this chair I want to play it like GTA where she's like giving you hair and
taking away hair and giving you hair you ever been in a chair in GTA and you're
trying to get a haircut and all of a sudden used to have an afro and then you
have like a mullet and then you have like you know what I mean yeah yeah

(02:44):
more hair than you started with yeah more there aren't such a thing as
extensions but I don't think it works that way right I think maybe we could
even do it like in a sci-fi sense so like visually like she's projecting this
hair onto your head and so like you can see it looks great but you don't
technically have the hair and she keeps going through hairstyles but I feel like

(03:05):
she's gonna like on the mullet for a little bit and just look at Roger with
a mullet everyone picture Roger with a mullet yeah picture it there's no way
that we would be able to make that happen right now is there no I feel like
there's something in your past that had a mullet as a week

(03:29):
all right like I remember a certain character had a mullet he did this to
himself when someone asks you if you want to become a god you say yes of course
mm-hmm I'm cool with working with a working for a god until I become one

(03:56):
that's Fein mm-hmm oh you'll get there you gotta do an NPC like oh yeah he says
you're gonna like this cut nice cut you're gonna like this cut nice cut
you're gonna like this cut nice cut you look good in that cut nice cut you're

(04:17):
gonna like this cut nice cut you're gonna like nice cut get the NPC dialogue
yeah everybody wait for it I didn't know how this is how this episode was gonna
open but here we are episode 9 hold on barbershop I just need to try it

(04:42):
nice come I kind of love that you're gonna like this cut are you there I
like it as well it's pretty sick plus red equals purple so if they're notorious
for swapping the word God with dog there you go nice cut that's a no on the anime

(05:07):
hairstyle then no nice cut he's gonna join a boy band I see here
yeah yeah nice cut well it's distinguishing it's giving lady day yeah

(05:43):
she like flicks her sexes scissors a little bit her like she has like digital
scissors you know she's like well I think this one looks pretty good you hate it
okay you would you like me to take it off yeah sci-fi removes the alright so

(06:12):
what would you like today sir I think just bald all right all that is cuts
back your bald hair while she's cutting she's like so how's things you know
there are things hmm yeah yeah just you know there are things any gossip around

(06:37):
town anything going on yeah like a flock of ravens that have taken over a burger
king and it's a way it's crazy they're like serving customers and actually
making money it's one of the top-earning Burger Kings in the tri-state area now
Wow yeah Ravens and Burger King yeah I haven't been there but I've heard good

(07:00):
things I even seen an article in the you know on the news board it's a it's
pretty good you know and I just what happens if one of the Ravens falls into
the oil you know then they're serving you know they keep going keep going
mmm keep serving yeah but I'm pretty sure it's some kind of a sham like on the

(07:23):
website I think they're writing their own ratings like this like hold on this
one right here it says try your onion rings they're fantastic I don't think a
regular person would write that yeah I don't think people who normally write
like that must be speech to text or something that's great so well good

(07:49):
talking to you yeah hope you enjoy your cut and she bumps up the chair sweet
this is gonna be the same size Rogers tiny aren't they the same size yes true
that's true you are you know it's like jump off the chair yeah that's true
what do you mean jump off it's lower to the ground yeah yeah oh incredible okay

(08:21):
moving on from our barbershop quartet here Ananka anything you want to do oh
I mean I've planned on going with a on because I don't got my eyes in but uh I
think you're the vitamin shot is probably the vitamin shops away to go I

(08:41):
want to cut to you in the bus in your above a little makeshift workbench that
you've made and you've got your corset like your armor out and you're trying to
fix it and I want to give you back armor slots all right yeah so what we're gonna
do is I'm gonna have you make a roll and for every success you get you can put a

(09:05):
slot back on your armor okay yes tell me tell me what you're rolling
oh logic probably and willpower hmm okay yeah I'll take it what do you think
yeah I think logic willpower makes sense I was thinking now I don't know logic

(09:28):
dexterity what's decks in this that's true like agility agility yeah
how'd you get agility so logic agility all right yeah yeah I can make that happen
all right five okay you repair your armor nice oh nice yeah nice oh yeah

(09:55):
and you're hammering away and crux is like heavy breathing behind you so
I have to tell you you're not stealthy even to the blind sorry how did you how
did you know I was there you're you breathe really heavily and you have a

(10:19):
very pungent musk I'm a heavy breather I said never noticed
beyond from the back of the bus I like the musk I can do for your proxy I was

(10:40):
admiring your work being the avatar of the Raven I admire a strong woman that
works on their own armor thank you you know I just bought it seems of rubbish
to just throw it away as soon as it gets damaged you know there's not exactly a

(11:03):
warranty on underground purchases hmm this is the way of the Valkyries I've
seen your new way of part of the couch a part of the crew
edgy onyx subscribe let's go how are you friends how are you edgy thanks buddy
thanks for subscribing I like that as a question she said that as a question the

(11:26):
bot was like how are you friends how are you friends how are you friends how are
you even friends under how how are you even friends I'm I'm a robot I'm a robot
how can you even incredible so he says I figured your new way of body art and he

(11:58):
shows his super buff like tricep arm and it's got like really shitty drawings of
Thor's hammer and stuff like that that Eon did to him the night before she's
drawing in a sharpie but he thinks it's tattoos bless his heart oh at least you're

(12:20):
pretty thank you thank you all right now Eon yes what do you want to do um I
think I'm gonna spend some time looking at those pages and trying to put things
together to see if I can start to suss out this lullaby oh very cool I like that

(12:42):
a lot you can sit in the back doing that yeah let's make a dice roll shall we
all right
beautiful and you can do like mental and then anything else okay willpower
anything else all right let's do willpower logic oh it's a three all right

(13:09):
it's not great the pages are together do you know that they magically went
together and from what you do know yeah it looks like you have an intro verse a
chorus and part of a second verse couch coin day I'm Steve underscore forge of
law just redeem couch coin Eon there you have it you have one of them now all

(13:29):
right what means you have period now yeah yeah because you start the episode
one all right do you if I use a couch coin for that role would it succeed yeah
you can spin one just add a success yeah I'll do that okay cool let's see what
happens here you add a success onto it and means you succeed so you do know you

(13:57):
need the last page but as you start reading through the pages you can
decipher that four people are needed there are four lines of music right there
are four instruments one of those being words send another language you can't
understand and then guitar bass and drums and it has to be played almost

(14:20):
perfectly from what you can decipher any kind of mess-ups could cause something
bad to happen it's kind of one of the things you could put together and at the
bottom most sheets of music have like who wrote them or whatever and the
bottom of the page it has a weird name like a different language but the last

(14:47):
name on it is to Bunte okay noted noted us my last name just in case you don't
remember I am going to bring that information to Anonka hey Anonka yeah so

(15:08):
you got a last name right yes no I was born without T a I B and T way oh okay
that's interesting um so there's this and I'm gonna show her the page with the
name at the bottom you can't see it but I just remember give me a more give me a

(15:39):
more
all right calling out the Raven to be my eyes there you go what do you make
well that's weird oh I mean air spirits are known for their love of music so it

(16:05):
doesn't strike me as that odd cuz like we're all cousins in the grander scheme
of things hmm so you think this was your cousin I mean probably great great
cousin like an ancestor because you know they're old yeah it would be a great
great ah situation like we're talking ancestry but we're all connected you

(16:30):
know Genosie can go back and and you know not avatar the last airbender
calling your ancestors but like we're all connected and we're all part of each
other and when we're when we're born we take on parts of our old ancestors kind
of a thing so it wouldn't surprise me if I'm related to this whoever it was do

(16:52):
you think you're some kind of like royalty or some shit oh god I hope not
that sounds like a load of pace no you'd rather be a god yeah I mean listen
I'm not gonna say no if the opportunity strikes itself but you know I'm doing

(17:13):
I'm doing listen if I could just snap my fingers and be like boom equality for
all go fuck yourselves a supreme chain king for a day who'd say no I wouldn't
say I'd go mad with power but you know there's a slight chance that's good to
know hmm um yeah so interesting some relative of yours what I I'm just

(17:47):
literally I like your reactions that's why I did they you're so easy to
kerfuffle yeah I'm pretty easily kerfuffled usually it's Roger that does
me in but you know speaking on your way back to the van Roger you pass by the

(18:11):
corn man he's got a cart a really big hat and a whole bunch of corn he's
ringing the bell if you don't bring me back your lot I'll be so mad
he stops and he looks at you he's like you're low today I'm not sure what a
low day is but I'll take some of your corn dude corn yeah yeah he points at

(18:37):
all the stuff on the cart was like mayo and all different kinds of fixings yeah
well that make it hurt more no what you but you go for a flaming hot Cheetos a
low day that's the way to go yeah yeah just give me a few on sticks and stuff

(18:58):
put all this shit on him I don't know then he starts making the corn and he's
like looking at you and then he reaches his hand down into the little section to
like pull out you know some more corn and stuff and pulls out a gun and tries
to shoot at you make me an agility check what I thought I was gonna have to take

(19:19):
this a different direction be the two
agility agility hmm why is there no surprise attacks in this system I missed

(19:39):
chat I missed he fires when it breaks the window behind the like salon you
guys in there talking about you know whatever you just hear a gunshot go off
in the parking lot outside and he like dives her cover behind a column after he
shoots at you and this like poncho and this hat just like fall off and he's

(20:01):
wearing a suit and he's like a full-on supreme 10 agent yes are you doing love
thanks for the follow but no he's from my friends he's ace for my think of the

(20:24):
woods nice hell yeah yeah he's just kind of like taking a little bit of cover
behind a column you know like at a in most of these like outdoor malls you
know there's like shaded above the stores so it's like columns holding it
up he's just being a little calm okay yeah well is he fully behind it or is

(20:45):
there anything that's exposed you could jump out and shoot at him you can get
behind this column yeah it's your turn imagination is your world my friend nice

(21:08):
roll to hit let's go ragel fraggle damn another two son of a bitch imagine a
world where you can't trust the corn man what kind of world is this so your
pistol does not physical and you got one above which means you do ten physical
which means when you shoot him in the foot he falls down to the ground and

(21:33):
it's bleeding all over the place and there's just this corn cart that's
knocked over and he's just like they're bleeding and he's like oh and he's
about to pass out from pain oh we hear the we hear the screaming and I open the
we I open the bus door drag him in here

(21:55):
why did you say I'm too busy singing that I shot someone dance I'm gonna kneel
down next to this guy and pull him up by his tie so that he's sitting up is he
still conscious at this point barely are you sorry in pain does it hurt yes

(22:18):
yeah don't worry it's not gonna hurt for long
shoot him in the head oh no oh so you do have that potion that allows you to take
two full actions I'm gonna need you to take an action because it is eons turn
before you're allowed to shoot him so attacked yeah this is self-defense what

(22:44):
I'm doing right now self-defense so you're not just doing a murder no it's
completely self-defense I'm covered by the laws of these United places okay you
know what wanted right yeah I'm pretty sexy but that's not gonna stop me from

(23:09):
killing this Joe blow I'm gonna I'm gonna cast an armor spell on Roger oh
it adds three points of armor to the target until the spell ends oh thanks
hell yeah Anonka what do you do oh I'd like to go heartbeat crow form as I'm

(23:35):
gonna call it now nice group in and and before the guy dies did he die is he
alive or is Roger all right all right I'm gonna swoop in crow form and inshrew
him and essentially do fear like my shadow ampere fear nice pants off of

(23:59):
him yeah yeah and just be like who sent you why are you here okay do you have to
make a roll for I don't think so it just says I get plus two days to
intimidation rolls all right so I guess intimidation that's what we're doing yes

(24:21):
indeed all right got that it is beautiful oh I won't five badass
oh we're low and he's like who sent you and he's like the crow we have mr.

(24:45):
Johnson we have the job Johnson he squealed you won't have a Johnson soon
if you don't tell me something more that I don't already know the supreme
supreme 10 I'm with I'm with Walmart we we have Johnson

(25:13):
I know you have Johnson you stupid fuck yes now say goodbye to yours
that's general relation y'all you just nod to Roger is that what you do
essentially wait is the shroud of like fear and Ravens comes off this guy can I

(25:44):
just be pointing a rocket launcher at his cock yes oh no sweet are you gonna
shoot these are one of the rockets I took the propellant out of our sorry the
the explosive there's still a lot of propellant in there so it really just

(26:07):
becomes an oversized rocket powered nail gun okay so oh it's gonna be very hot in
my mind I picture this rocket coming out and lifting him up off the ground but
why don't you go ahead and explain to us what happens when you fire this thing I
fire this thing and it embeds itself through his body his pelvis essentially

(26:33):
it embeds it into the asphalt and because it's stuck and it has nowhere to
go all that energy just goes into heating up the body of the rocket to
glowing red temperatures which in turn cauterizes the wound it made in his
body so he's no longer bleeding to death from his pelvis but his pelvis is broken
and now that he's nailed to the fucking asphalt I'm gonna tie some chains

(26:58):
around his legs and then I'm gonna attach it to the bus now we're gonna
drive away before we drive away uh Eon can I have your sharpie please oh yes of
course perfect and I'm gonna scroll Walmart scum across his forehead nice

(27:18):
nice oh wait wait I want to grab a bunch of like just fucking entirely raid that
corn cart I'm gonna get a bunch of corn nice oh yeah no it's a little bit Roger
I don't know what that is I'm talking about corn it's street corn well yeah

(27:40):
I'm off the street some of us spilled out of the cart now it's on the street so
of course it would be street corner now I'm in the tiny section underneath in
the stores taking out all the flaming hot Cheetos paprika queso like all the
cream fries and like all the little cheeses and like parsley and shite and be
like oh we're gonna have a good time tonight he's got fucking roast chicken

(28:03):
in here we're having a good time let's go just rob the corn man listen
don't you try to pull sympathy for him he just pulled a gun on me I mean okay
so you guys pack up all of this food I mean you got rations the cupboards and

(28:27):
everything and just full of a lotte fixings all in the bus it's pretty sweet
and you tie this guy to the back now are you gonna tie him up or you're gonna
drag him no you misunderstood me this man is currently nailed to the asphalt
I'm just changing his legs yeah nice okay so yeah so as we drive away who knows what will

(28:50):
happen I kind of get split in half yeah spoiler alert why the fuck would I keep that guy alive
he tried to kill me yeah Facebook for Roger a nun who's just gonna face bump
Roger that's that's a top and by the way you can see me I don't know why you guys

(29:12):
are trying to eat those things that's gross I'm replacing the heads of my
rockets with corn
like half of my rockets I think it had 12 I've used like four so I have ten
left so five rockets have corn warheads listen what we could do what we could do

(29:36):
though is I could just shook the corn off the outside of it make a lotte that
way and then you can have the empty husks of like the empty middle part of
it like cuz then it will once it dries out it'll be extra spiky no you're
talking about taking my nubbies you don't take my nubbies away because look I

(29:57):
have this visual later of someone puking out popcorn here I mean could be great
so mmm just saying yeah no don't ruin this for me okay okay you know what fear
enough Bob the road hold this bitch let's go all right Bob looks you guys

(30:17):
and goes all right man and he slams on the gas and the chains get tighter and
then they get real tight and then he steps on it and the tires squeal and
just blood and shit just sprays all over the front of the salon and the dwarf
comes out she's like what what as you guys are pulling away there's just legs
and now there's just chains attached to legs that are just dragging behind the

(30:40):
bus she looks down she just sees Walmart scum on this guy's this dude is wearing
a suit it's this whole scene that's pretty pretty disgusting but as this
happens I picture crux is looking out the back window and he goes this this

(31:01):
yeah yeah correct you've probably heard of a blood eagle this is what I like to
call blood smegle it's a it's a little different but uh your special move it's
almost the same little bit of a smear I mean smegled better you could come with
a better name like blood split crotch rip blood split just sounds like like a

(31:29):
menu item at like a vampire basket Robin oh they're delicious
men's split tration minstration thing cold where you hold on hey Alfred what's
that torture thing cold where you tied someone to two young sapling birch trees

(31:50):
and then let the trees go and it splits them in half what's that cold the
Jonas Brothers horrifying let me tell you my favorite saint is Olga of cave I
like limit alia she's a bad bitch what the hell this is in my search history

(32:13):
now thank you for that incognito mode your ads are gonna be so weird now
birching calls back is birching this is don't make fun of me carry on I don't know
what I did with the most forms of torture the brazen bull the iron apega

(32:37):
birching the rack the scavengers daughter the thumbscrew the pair of
anguish in the iron maiden all birching that's the one birching that's when you
tie someone to two young saplings the but we can call it busing I like that or
chaining or we could call it rocket crotch ing

(33:02):
the way crutches like this this special move of yours if it would have been
adopted in my time would have been extraordinary I just do it to people I
don't like I mean there's nothing really special about it I'm not gonna name it

(33:25):
something and it's gonna come up with something different when I kill somebody
else later respect a gift of respect it's the second time he's done it this
is goes into his pew pocket and pulls out a bunch of stuff and in his hands
he's got like a button and some thumbtacks and a couple of like tabs from
like beer cans and he gives you a beer can tab he goes I don't know but a gift

(33:49):
not a tab of acid of respect you probably shouldn't keep those in your
pubes this is a really permeable the white skin I mean if you wanted acid
Roger I got ayahuasca that'll make you see things for a good couple of minutes
you'll have a body experience I know what ayahuasca I need to be lucid for

(34:13):
when I'm murdering these people in creative ways thanks for the beer tab
that I appreciate respect and he sits back down cross-legged in the bus and
you guys are on the road there's blood and chains just behind the car just you
know Bob's like hurry man will like we should probably get off the road soon

(34:38):
man we are wanted after all and we I mean not to say that we caused a scene
or anything man but look behind we might have caused a scene and you guys look
out the back window and these pristine streets because tires aren't a thing
anymore so these streets are pristine are now just there's just a trail of

(34:59):
blood following you guys from these lakes he's like so we know where this
place is right man that they're holding Johnson do you want to go there now or
like do you want to make another stop well he sounds like he was in danger
right yeah I think so man I mean the guy did say he squealed that that's what

(35:21):
Johnson said guy the guy said Johnson squealed and honestly the the the
collars really working for me on him lately I kind of want to keep him around
a little bit he's been wearing collars I gotta put my eyes on more often at the
choker you know it's it's very very very very flattering nudge is Roger and he

(35:45):
goes do you have a collar crux may borrow
oh no no not that collar not that collar I was hoping you were gonna give him

(36:06):
like an old Lucy collar but okay well he takes it and wipes it off and he puts
it on oh hey he looks at Ian oh he's a good boy you fuck

(36:30):
Adam okay yeah man so where do we go man we know where to go right it was like
this crazy building Anonka figured it out yeah yeah oh I mean I'm fighting

(36:59):
with going but that's up to you to do we feel prepared to take on an entire
building of supreme 10 and broad daylight question cool rockets now maybe
we should like get our fans to come help us do metal shit oh that's a good

(37:21):
interesting thing that we can do that's a terrible idea the problem is I fucking
hate those losers hold on hold on oh I'm gonna actually go to the fan page and
log in like the main fan page that's managed by our band and go anyone that
I've told that you will die in an office building today's your day meet us here

(37:46):
oh cool couch court Anonka cool very good I feel like you get a bunch of gift
responses of like Ravens and like Raven Queens and other kinds of shit and it's
just like a bunch of likes and then there's just like some other comments of
people being like who the fuck even likes this band and then other people
being like this is the best band ever and you know shit like that and someone's

(38:09):
like well they were good in their first album but now they're kind of trash you
know what I mean sections classic yeah yeah yeah but you feel like that was
absolutely successful and at this point Lucy the dog she waddles up to you
Roger and she says Roger this this may be an opportunity for you to shine it's

(38:38):
the new leader of the rebellion lead your fans to victory we can use them
okay Lucy's telling me that I guess I will but I fucking hate those dildos
yes think about this building Roger you've told me about it

(39:00):
death Corp Walmart fuck these guys we want to murder them all yeah arm the
fans Roger pickle most of the fans don't have arms or but we're not gonna talk

(39:21):
about that okay what let's tell we we could stop by a gun store and buy a
hundred grenades lunch Roger a hundred grenades oh yeah that's what we'll do
we'll give him a hundred grenades we'll pull the pins and and we'll just say hey
when you feel like this is the right time let go of the thing and he'll be

(39:45):
good yes that is a great way to lead your rebellion to death I wanted to say
something else but I don't think I can't so of course numbers are always good I
support you if you believe they should die then we will have them die Lucy goes

(40:06):
up to Bob and Lucy goes Bob closest gun store step on it he goes all right man
take a direct dog alright goes uh oh well while we are at the gun store
cuz who's gonna give the blind a fucking good ah can I just start I'd like to

(40:31):
actually enter the like the astral plane to commune with a Raven before this
starts but that's while they're in the good store cool alright so picture this
Bob pulls into one of the closest gun stores in this area which is the same
gun store that we canonically made right next door to the Church of the Raven so

(40:54):
he pulls right back into the parking lot where we were before and you guys get
out and crux steps out of course and he goes good to be home and while you guys
are here I want you guys to picture naked crux watering the plants out in
front of the church like he's taking care of it he's like out there watering
the plants yeah now you two walk together into the gun store chingling

(41:21):
lingling and then behind the counter is the guy and he's like hey welcome to
guns are us
hello 100 grenades well let's see how many we have here that's whoa you all

(41:45):
see that what's the other what's the red one it's shining
whoa I just rolled 2d20s and got two nat 20s holy shit that happened live on
camera that is crazy Wow he's like well we got a thousand we have a thousand

(42:05):
grenades well how much you trying to buy these grenades for awesome to you bulk
price I'm feeling generous because we I got a double natural 20 so I'm feeling
generous the dice gods say it was meant to be

(42:34):
$400
damn Steve underscore forge of law 69 bits holy shit did you see that I can't
believe it high pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie
pie pie pie she's just saying yes Steve oh my god it was the door dates with all

(43:04):
heaps I want to see what point she degrades and just can't say anymore and
we go tank just shared 96 bits cheer 96 pipe pipe it's random okay

(43:32):
400 bucks man I'll give you 400 grenades like they're all gonna work but what I
can say is that they are grenades well um toss 600 more on there for how much

(43:55):
well 600 thousand grenades for a thousand dollars yeah wait how much did
you you said it's for $400 and then a on spot in 600 more on right talking to me
from outside of the store I can hear

(44:18):
good to hear you're my I know DM turkey knows basic math all right we're role
playing right now thousand grenades $1,000 yeah yeah that seems about right
dollar a grenade I'm feeling generous double natural 20 hell yes 1,000

(44:46):
grenades he pulls up like fucking five duffel bags each duffel bag has 200
grenades in it he's like here you are you've been my best customer well you've
been my only customer not a lot of people want old-school guns anymore they
want laser pistols and what the fuck else you know yeah all that shit's
bullshit they don't even cause like the physical damage I'm really looking for I

(45:08):
want things to be torn out of people's bodies and the old way is the only way
that happened nice hey I tell you what
certifiable underscore nerd just redeemed custom potion Lucy beast bites
when eaten by a hell hound these bites grant six uses of hell's breath each

(45:29):
breath does six damage in a six-foot cone pretty cool certifiable very
clever shit write it down Roger because you can toss a little treat to Lucy to
have her do fucking awesome hell breath

(45:53):
how many are duds true I want a grenade dress yeah so he says to you Roger he
goes yeah look man I really you know I've been looking for some promotional
material for the shop and I think you like you're on the same page as me we

(46:15):
want to blow shit up you know we're gonna cause real damage if you can when
you're using my weapons if you can bring me back pictures or even videos a few
murdering killing people and cool shit with my weapons explosions with these
grenades then I'll keep cutting you deals you know okay sounds good yeah I

(46:41):
can do that well yeah just you know don't like modify my weapons too much
you know maybe by like putting corn cobs and rockets that'd be crazy you know
nobody does that here especially not for comedic value right you know I won't do

(47:04):
none of that trust me you're gonna be wanting to watch the news here in the
next couple like an hour all right sounds good all right you two have fun
with these grenades and he I feel like we will this or he's gonna help you
carry these bags of grenades out to your bus you guys are just on busy city
streets middle of the day big green duffel bags of grenades love and crux

(47:34):
finishes watering the plants but first we're gonna cut back to Ananka she's
gonna commune a little bit with her with her guy so first before we get all
intense here would you like to make me a check
you would be the four

(47:59):
all right here
oh you've got a couch going you could spend oh yeah I was gonna say I would
like to spend my couch coin as you guys set down the bags of grenades on the

(48:21):
ground the whole bus is engulfed in feathers like and on the inside it goes
dark and the whole bus turns like into like just just two huge Raven eyes with
like a beak and it's like bearing down on you is you're on your knees Ananka

(48:45):
what do you say
afternoon hello I'm on the next step of my path but I have not yet paid you for
the last time I used your power what is the next step for you that I might do

(49:08):
your work
to continue using my your power as my own do you mind turning down the stereo
the music is loud

(49:28):
part of this too or we just kind of like cut off from in the darkness you're
really cut off you're on the outside of the bus okay well you can Ananka can
barely hear me then I'm just like screaming and it's muffled of like she
hears like muffled gunshots in the background okay I'm in the astral plane

(49:58):
anyway I can't hear your bullshit mm-hmm oh yeah I didn't say they were doing it
well certifiable they were definitely dragging them bags of grenades very much
so emphasis on heaviness he says
the supreme 10

(50:22):
on the inside of that tower there is a man you must go out of your way to end
his life his eyes must be kept they have seen what he shouldn't see put them away

(50:43):
safe bring them back
you go it you will know who it is and then well I bus goes back to normal I'm

(51:06):
out of breath and sweating and out of bullets I reload my pistol what the
fuck were you shooting at it was dark it's my arch nemesis oh the dark I get
it okay the way that I pictured it like just the bus was covered so you guys
were just in like normal Street like sunny outside and just a bus was covered
in feathers we were on the bus and it was dark and I was flailing around

(51:29):
firing a pistol I'm just gonna come out of it and be like Roger your absolute
mens bag what are you doing it was dark there you guys oh no we're still here
do you need a hug teeny teeny two feet of a cuddle

(51:53):
oh I need more ammunition all right well gun stores right there no I spent all my
money on grenades for you stupid followers you need a dollar yeah I'll
got some money if you want more bullets I need a bunch of string now anybody got

(52:13):
string like stringy string kind of time oh yarn from a sewing kit or actually
be perfect and comedic I have pubic hair pubic hair that could be great if it's
also a comedy do you have a yard spinning machine you know I know a lady

(52:41):
in the south end of the city she's so good you won't even know it was pubes
okay well we could just use the yard like pink stuff I think it's an acrylic
blend okay I'm strong enough to pull a pin on a grenade I twitch fucked up and

(53:01):
they let us set our ad frequency you know and I said it is low as possible so
for those you guys that aren't getting ads and stuff I do apologize I have it
as low as I possibly can which I think is only like one every hour or something
like that I do apologize but as a reminder you can get rid of that crap you
could spend Bezos as money and send it right back to Bezo if you're a prime you

(53:22):
have Amazon prime you get a free prime sub here on twitch just so you know hell
yeah the pubes string would be funny hell yeah okay sorry for
you're good all right yeah I just need quite a bit of string for this okay you

(53:44):
want purple blue red ombre what do you know it doesn't really matter just just
a lot of it the color ginger yes ginger would be fine sweet
okay I don't know what the fuck you're playing and what we are gonna do is

(54:06):
we're gonna take our quick break and we're gonna come back and you guys are
gonna head that way so we're gonna do that shit we're gonna come right back
let's do some dang old thumbnail pose been a little while might be good to get
some more material you guys just to have and stuff and things so everybody
strike a pose see if I can get that to work let me flip you there because it

(54:29):
looks like you flipped yeah and then this one I'm still trying to grab it
he's like what is that
oh shrinkage crazy eyes there you go some good little screenshots all right

(55:04):
everybody we'll be right back in a couple minutes so don't go anywhere hello
and welcome back my fellow couch surfers welcome back to the show right here on
the grouch couch hi of course I'm your band manager game master Turk of course
and I'm here with the band say hello band yeah as it was seeing a on as I

(55:30):
was saying the point is I realized my fans are the tape that like watch you
from afar cuz they're too me to approach me so like I have the type of fans that
want to turn your skin into a lamp like that's oh oh that's a different kind of
fan my fans they just go yeah yeah yeah I want to be a vampire and I go no no

(55:51):
we really don't you do that golem really seem to like you too much listen you just
what I heard you just gonna aim to your fan base you know match made in heaven
you know hi Tyler hello hi buddy so we my friends are on our way to the tallest

(56:19):
building this here side of the city you guys know that minster Johnson is being
held in some kind of basement room there Anonka herself has a mission to kill and
steal the eyeballs of a certain supreme 10 worker there as well this building is
not only home to the supreme 10 workers of Walmart but also a place that Rogers

(56:44):
familiar with this is one of the main homes to death Corp one of the higher
corporations that produce and manage a lot of different kinds of technology you
guys have called upon your fans to come and help you you've gotten a lot of
comments and you've purchased about a thousand grenades so you guys are pulling

(57:06):
up here to this building but Bob's having a hard time trying to find
parking around this area being that it is right here in the middle of the city
but while he's driving around trying to find parking Roger you had a plan with
these grenades yeah I'm gonna just tie up bunches of five grenades they're all

(57:28):
gonna be connected to one string and I give these grenade these bunches of
grenades out to our fans they shops I tell him like hey you go to that
building you see a person I need to go up to him pull the pins on your grenade
and give him a hug that's so dark or you know throw hockey into a room close the

(57:57):
door and be done with it but you know no no no you need to take them down just
because you don't have any fans doesn't mean you got to take out mine listen this
is the only type of human connection that I will tolerate you want to go
need a hug Roger no I don't want one bad one I want to keep living because I'm

(58:23):
awesome and I think Roger needs a group hug I think I think he just needs like
just come on in come on in you guys and you guys are hugging for a few seconds

(58:50):
how do you feel wait who's driving the bus I've got Bob's head so he's still
just driving without seeing those does that feel better buddy buddy do you feel

(59:10):
a bit better I feel more pissed off I hate it whoops I'll take it out on the
court boys he eventually finds a parking spot but only thanks to the metal
Omnicon fans and you can tell that the metal Omnicon fans because a lot of them

(59:34):
have their hair dyed and styled much like you Anonka and they're all wearing
different types of merchandise you guys have released over the past couple of
years and the reason that he finds this parking spot is because the fans are
standing in it for you so as he pulls in they all kind of separate and they all
gather in a line outside of the van and Bob jumps up right away and opens the

(59:55):
door and he's like hey everybody and everyone's like where's Anonka and he's
like fine and he steps out of the van or the bus and stands there and they all
await you didn't didn't you tell these people that they were gonna die in an
office building anyway yeah that's part of the appeal

(01:00:21):
hello fans of metal Omnicon
give it up for our drummer Bob Zombie do it or you die on the sidewalk
our lead guitarist Aeon King kill us our lead singer Roger rage face rage face

(01:00:58):
rage faggot fucking yeah one guy yeah and his loyal companion Lucian

(01:01:20):
oh you like the fuck okay and our our loyal companion and trusted advisor
Crooks the naked Viking naked man we have gathered here today out of this
corporate structure to take it down we want our city back from the supreme ten

(01:01:46):
and this is the first step this is run by death Corp
you're right
yeah she's also that's a triple threat right there

(01:02:19):
you're not fucking entertained so I do want you to give a speech to these guys
and what I'm gonna do is you're gonna make me a charisma charisma check but
I'm gonna give you a plus 2d6 on this because they're literally your fans so

(01:02:43):
whenever you click it make sure to add in that extra 2d6
all right yeah all did it do all the modifiers you more all right let's see
if I can beat two on six ten days nine they are super listening to you like
everything's quiet they're like standing in line listening to you it's like a

(01:03:06):
fucking metalhead army awaiting for your instruction now everybody Ruto run
sorry no you're good you're good you will line up in front of Roger and a on
and Crooks they will hand you five grenades fuck up these corpos once we

(01:03:30):
get inside you can take Rogers advice and suicide bomber yourself that's up
to you but we are after the corpos inside what's what's what's your what's
your what's your Raven God's name the Raven God yeah if you're gonna do the

(01:03:51):
suicide bomber thing make sure you say the Raven God is great before you do it
yeah that's for you yeah do it in the name of the Raven God and he will be
ever rewarded or whatever I don't know I'm speaking on a religion I don't
believe in this is better handled by Anonka but you'll be saved by the Raven

(01:04:15):
God all that shit go kill yourself I had I had a name
picked out and I've lost it I just could have found it in my notes let me check
my mind brain real quick I gotta grab a thing from the dog anyway

(01:04:36):
Benjamin Benjamin is great Benji the Raven God no there is because it was a
Scottish legend that tells of us of Raven called Cali egg oh I don't know if

(01:05:00):
they're gonna be able to say that one quick we'll see yeah no it was it was a
it was a god called Cali egg technically a hag that turns into a Raven but we're
taking it we will feast on the blood of men tonight let's go and all of them

(01:05:29):
line up in front of you guys you begin handing them grenades and handing them
grenades as you do one of them steps to the side and approaches you Anonka he's
a lanky nervous looking elf he's got a cybernetic eye and fingers that are like
twitchy with nervous energy he has a rumpled up suit and he kind of just

(01:05:52):
seems a little askew but he says you know this tower here has a force field
before you call your people down we're gonna have to take down this field I've
been a longtime fan of yours and and Eon and even Roger but I can I can hack

(01:06:14):
into this mainframe I sure I can do it the right price maybe you know you hook
it up with a signed CD or something cool I'll do it for you as I'm handing
grenades to other fans can I just overhear this conversation and be like
you're not just trying to skip out of blowing up for us are you not I'll

(01:06:38):
still do that I guess but okay I figured my skills could be used in other places
I would like to do some sort of like insight on this don't you have the
truth thing mm-hmm analyze truth yeah you can't handle okay don't even have to

(01:07:04):
make a check on this either so you look at him you get next to me you analyze
truth and he is telling the truth he can do this and he does have this
information but there's a little bit of a sense that he's holding something like
something he hasn't said what are you hiding it's like nothing I'm totally

(01:07:26):
fancy you guys yeah Roger yeah where does your dad work at Nintendo yeah
all right yeah what about mom where does she work she doesn't she does you work

(01:07:46):
why you ask where you work why work well that's weird that you don't remember me
Roger oh we used to work here together oh oh shit what did you say your name was

(01:08:11):
I have a name written down here but check and feel free to use the name of
thing to give this elf the cybernetic sketchy elf a name if they would like to
but if they ain't good enough I'm gonna use mine but feel free to go on ahead and use
your guys's name of thing please please go ahead what colors his hair he's bald

(01:08:32):
oh that's right it's a dump to read oh twice in a row Steve get creative
Varen Zalern that's that's that's a good name Mira that's a good name it's a good
name but that's not his name Tom Dorado okay so the name I came up with because

(01:08:56):
not many people notice but a lot of the names I've been using are from like band
members of other bands and stuff and so this guy's name is gonna be Milo who's
the singer for the descendants but I really do like Varen Zalern but being
that this is Rogers NPC feel free to pick my friend from check is it is it the

(01:09:17):
NPC that I have on my card no it could be absolutely good it's not toky toky the
elf I actually it could totally be toky I didn't think about toky but that makes
complete sense
can't be Swiss car or an ace it's like totally yeah totally is a good guys

(01:09:51):
okay okay he's toky then settled his name is toky he's like I'm surprised you
didn't notice is me Roger well you shaved your head so usually have long

(01:10:13):
brown flowing hair yes it's a company's new dress codes do you still work for
the company well I saw my ways out but trying to find the ways out these guys
is assholes yeah major asshole toky

(01:10:42):
so you just want a little something that's saying to be us yeah that's all
you wouldn't secretly knows I just wants to see my friends Roger succeeds I asked

(01:11:09):
his ride okay take care of my cats and he didn't feed my cats while I was on
vacation Roger I'm not watching his cat so what makes you think I would be okay
around those you know how much is I likes mr. fluffy butts can you sing toky

(01:11:31):
because killing a cat is like crossing the line for me so like can you sing
will replace Roger well I know the rage face is a dog's person no I'm clearly
just a goblin I don't have like a tail or nothing what are you talking about

(01:11:56):
toky listen you can do the computer shit if you want that's cool I don't expect
you to blow up like these regular dildos so why is he just tag along man yeah I
don't want to blow up like these dildos welcome cool and remember when you're

(01:12:18):
sitting in the van and you're all alone then you can pulls your dicks out
cuz that's gross no because you're by yourself it's really you do

(01:12:38):
I know is that he used to do that in his cubicles he thought he was alone but I
was in there with him yeah it's really easy man you know the amount of HR visits
that I had well it was kind of it was like what I had to schedule them once a
week the entire time I was working these guys is like they've never heard you

(01:13:02):
know a goblin have been game before yeah I'm just out here free balling I can't
help it if you know I happen to brush up against somebody that may not want it so
you know yeah still the same so Roger gross okay

(01:13:24):
okay love listen we would love your help with hacking into the building that
would be absolutely braille but is there anything else we need to know no but
kills the guys kills them all also is I'm gonna need some distraction do you

(01:13:50):
think a hundred dudes blowing up with grenades would be enough of a
distraction the fear force field that's might want to take force field downs
first oh crowd any of you rowdy fuckers want to play defense for the the bald

(01:14:11):
lad here defense oh my goodness um there has to be like one guy he's like a
Khajiit a breeze of big-ass Khajiit and he steps forward and he goes oh my
goodness he's catman he goes yeah oh watch the little guy

(01:14:37):
pussy
it's settled all right I'm gonna I'm actually gonna hand something to both of
them hmm as they're walking away I'm like these are for you and I hand the

(01:15:00):
death card to tokay mm-hmm signed with my name on it oh and I hand the Khajiit
the night of swords oh
because he takes it he's all about it he like rubs it on his face he's like

(01:15:24):
yes thank you and toky's like are you trying to say something the death card
does not mean death it means change why does it say his desk on it because it's
the date of something old and the room for something new it's change was okay

(01:15:51):
hopefully it's a damn stupid fucking building we're gonna blow it up who's my
distraction yes this lovely Khajiit here he's going to be your night of swords oh
all right let's go chat username thing and name the big-ass buff Khajiit he's
got to get a name you in John Toretto in the chat from Steve don't do it again

(01:16:17):
I'll take come on man auto rot I like that to Kriyana are they still mid
session we are wolf what's hot he has gone bro shit also hi Jim hello I love
Jim Jim's one of my favorite people you guys know that what's up Jim okay
Jim in a couple weeks yeah it's gonna be sick dude you lucky duck squeeze that

(01:16:43):
man's nipples the hardest for me I'm gonna be I don't know if that's
entirely appropriate but you know what if he can say it's I'll be like this is
from Turkey yeah we just got to get a gotta get you know consent from
everybody and we'll be good to go yeah pee hussy juice Connor little help oh I

(01:17:09):
get it all right pee hussy juice right got it yeah big tabby oh Tomcats oh
Rom for a red oh yeah yeah very good right from a red oh thank you scooby-doo

(01:17:30):
Steve appreciate that rock is red off Reggie really draws off for him
oh it's like scooby-doo is really like in the trenches fucking god okay I

(01:18:05):
really like Tom and I think Tomcats is perfect they're certifiable we're gonna
go with Tom so he's big Tom so Tom and Jerry band members get in a line and all
of you guys are like in the parking section like right out the vision of the
building and all how many how many were there I didn't even roll for it we're

(01:18:28):
gonna roll to see how many band members actually showed up 96 but so they can
have 10 grenades each then right they're all waiting right all 96 of them and you

(01:18:54):
guys and you guys wait as you see Tom walk up and he stands right in front of
the door and he gets down on all fours and he just starts like purring and
dancing and breakdancing and Toki's like oh look it's the cats he's doing the big
kitty things and what I'm gonna do for him is we're actually gonna roll

(01:19:15):
charisma charisma for Tom here go are you that's a three and he has to beat a
one so you can see there's a security guard actually I think I have a
description for here well maybe I don't that's fine this is security guard big

(01:19:39):
buff orc wearing like blue uniform with little badge that says is it Steve again
it's fucking Steve again and he's looking out the window just let the cat
and you can see Toki sneaking by around the bushes and he gets up to this
computer panel and pulls it out of the wall and just starts doing tech shit
deep deep deep deep deep and you can see fizzing of the force field now while

(01:20:03):
this is happening is there anything you guys want to do well I'm gonna start
loading a rocket into my rocket launcher nice the only guy we could see
right now is the security guard right yeah I'm just locking eyes with that
motherfucker all right he's not looking at you though
this rocket he's looking at Tom but you're looking right at him hell yeah

(01:20:28):
Ananka I'd like to go into my heartbeat form nice nice
get down on your knees your wings come out and all the fans behind you are like
oh kill us pretty sick yeah I'm gonna turn into a bat nice you turn into a

(01:20:55):
bat and all the fans behind you like make us vampires
where are the other fans going crux turns on his axe lightsaber he goes

(01:21:15):
holds it ready after a few seconds everything goes real quiet and Tom
begins licking himself on the sidewalk in front of I picture there's like steps
that go up to these two glass doors right and there's like big glass columns
that make like an archway and all around the columns is like bushes to go around
this big stone fucking skyscraper that goes up and so he's just out on the

(01:21:38):
sidewalk there's like cars going past him in the street and he's just on his
ass just like licking himself and Toki's up in the corner he's got this panel out
of the wall and then eventually he did he did pushes the buttons and you guys
can hear this audible and he looks and he goes he's told it's ready at that
point I raise up my rocket launcher which now reveals a corn cob projectile

(01:22:04):
on the end of it and I'm gonna go oh my god is that corn and then I'm gonna fire
it the whole time it's flying through the air I'm just like and when it hits
the security guard square in the chest I'm gonna say go well we don't know if

(01:22:26):
it does yet first I need you to roll to hit can can that give us bardic
inspiration I know that's not a thing here I can't wait until we're back in
that d20 that beautiful 5e d20 system will be there soon babies if this was
that it absolutely would yes but we'll say it inspires the crowd I think first

(01:22:50):
Roger roll me a charisma check for your joke before we even know if it hits wait
you want me to roll charisma for the yeah oh be the one charisma charisma
mm-hmm that's 10 for for the first time the crowd behind you you hear them

(01:23:14):
audibly chuckle it's your funny metal joke and actually clap a little bit and
it's you have this feeling of like what what is this
oh what the fuck are you doing with your mouth stop that why are you moving your
hands like that yeah okay now roll to hit me to five fuck I've that's so high

(01:23:44):
Jonathan Davis approves of this cob delivery yeah
oh it was a valiant effort with nine dice while you decide if you want to use
your couch coin I would also encourage all of check that I'm gonna use my edge
gift a potion certifiable underscore nerd just redeemed custom potion Anonka

(01:24:06):
behind dead eyes while in happy form you can see the material plan the astral
plane and the ethereal plane superimposed upon each other the potion
looks like milk tea with giant boba just don't look too close at the boba day of
Steve and just law used reroll Turk nice okay I'm gonna roll on a reroll let me

(01:24:33):
see I got a zero how many d6s was that that was a lot and I got a zero so you
succeed Roger congrats but before I tell you what happens I would like to
encourage everyone to look up Jonathan Davis's son apparently Jesus Christ me

(01:24:56):
and that fucking guy are twinsies he's my body double apparently he's in a band
called hi I'm ghost as you look up hi I'm ghost and it's literally we're the
same guy it's fucking this why oh yeah that's Jonathan Davis's hello drop it in

(01:25:19):
discord if you like we can talk about it more during breakdown it's fucking weird
Jonathan Davis's son I know you're watching you can join whenever you want
just drop us a DM that's right or I can come body double DJ for you I'm cool
with that yeah it's it's actually the first picture that pops up is you're

(01:25:39):
really similar the one where he's wearing a fairy tale shirt I think so
it's insane I don't know what he's my doppelganger it's fucking wild I put I
put one when he's in a mesh shirt in the middle omnicon fucking yeah okay now I
got the one with pink hair is kind of crazy too
yeah pink hair was fucking what crazy we both got mustaches too proud of that

(01:26:03):
well now now you know what to go for us Halloween for Halloween yeah tell my
girl is a little better though I know right get on it son okay the rocket
flies through the air while it flies it heats up and popcorn begins coming off

(01:26:26):
of the rocket through the air leaving a trail of popcorn that immediately
attracts Tomcats who starts batting it around on the ground in the middle of
the street but then as the force field goes down the rocket comes right the
glass the security guard sees it it doesn't even faze him he believes the
force field still up he is wrong is it smashes through the glass hits him right

(01:26:51):
in the chest there's no explosive part of it so it just pushes him all the way
back up against the wall the elevator that was behind him pushing him into the
elevator and his body begins getting pushed through the crack and he's like
yeah and then in a puff of mist he gets pushed to the crack of the elevator as
it splits open and red popcorn goes everywhere in this moment your fans

(01:27:17):
behind you look back and look at you waiting and I'm gonna do the classic
cord and just go nice we all start running and all of these fans and all
of you just start running and they're like running past you all of these
people there's like combat boots and chains and ripped pants and black

(01:27:39):
fingernail polish everywhere in front of your eyes and all of these 96 almost a
hundred people with metal Omnicon t-shirts on just rush past up the
street and up into the supreme 10 building you guys don't make it to the
building before you immediately start hearing explosions

(01:28:04):
glasses getting blown out and you just look up as you're getting to the stairs
to see Toki's face of Toki's like oh my god's it's on the bus Toki cams do and
he runs down the stairs towards the bus you guys get to the top of the stairs to

(01:28:25):
just see these black explosions all over the walls there's desk papers and just
screens and glass and mice and everything just all over the place the
elevator is completely out of order now exploded to the right there's a
staircase that goes up a staircase that goes down as you guys get to the top
there's more security guards that come out of this this room and there's just

(01:28:47):
no alarm ringing like we and as they run out one of your fans looks at you and he
goes I got this and he just runs what was your god's name
oh yeah yeah okay Callie Callie it's Callie he runs and he's like for
Callie and he explodes as he pulls the pen and flies through the air and lands

(01:29:13):
on him and just parts go everywhere and there's more security guards piling out
band members running now that Roger just went we're gonna move over to Eon as a
bat Eon what do you do oh I am definitely just following along I don't
really have anything I think I can really do unless well I guess I could

(01:29:38):
use my my umbrella to start shooting grenades at the building we're going
full force right we're just going for it yeah all right I'm gonna do a
somersault as I turn back into Eon and pull out my umbrella and just fucking
go for it I picture like lacy like vampire dress just like whipping through

(01:30:03):
the air as you turn back into a bat
back cool we'll just say you do that as you just start shooting up grenades of
these these guards I'm not gonna make you roll for anything but rolling will
come this is like one final Ananka what do you do well I'm choking that potion

(01:30:25):
certifiable nerd gave me I'd like to be able to see all planes at once but I'd
also like to touch the floor of the of the building and essentially like some
and chaotic world to start leaking darkness and enveloping the building

(01:30:48):
going open up sick so it's like all these explosions there's like dark
matters just starts leaking out of the walls like our fans will know what this
is cuz they've come to our shoes so they know yeah one's like yeah and just dies

(01:31:12):
pretty cool um is you guys are fucking shit up before we get back to Roger
you're looking at this stairwell goes up and goes down from right around the
stairwell there's this huge double door the double door opens and there's like
steam and like bright light and emerging from the steam is like this huge mech

(01:31:35):
robot and you can see the face of someone in this mech robot there's like
a like glass that goes over and his arms are just in it and he walks out and he
looks straight up like a suit just wearing a suit but as he gets closer you

(01:31:56):
see his eyes and he has the eyes of the Raven and he cocks his guns and he's
like not today Roger now I drink that portion can I see it that's the gay oh
100% like his eyes are fucking glowing a crazy different color yeah you can

(01:32:19):
absolutely see it also what I will also give you is that you can see like the
energy seeping out of him is like going into this mech suit like he's he thinks
he's on to something he thinks he's special
yeah how many people do I got to teach the lesson that sometimes you that you
just can't steal from a god right Roger

(01:32:45):
well this calls for a real explosive round okay that's a straight-up fucking
anime suit so loading an explosive round into my rocket watcher aim for the
chest I need the eyes okay just balls same thing I send a rocket right at his

(01:33:05):
balls effective really trying to make a crotch rocket now that's free balling
beautiful that's a two so you fail now I want to remind you use my couch coin

(01:33:28):
and you still have a so you could do a couch going to reroll all your dice or
add one success it's up to you but I want to remind you you have this double
action potion and you also still have Lucy well yeah I'm gonna go ahead and
reroll all right

(01:33:53):
trying to hit with this thing so hard yeah and it didn't do much for me okay
well since that didn't work I guess I'll whip out my trusty pistol and just send
one around to the nuts nice certifiable and this corner
history role Roger look at that you get one oh never mind I guess I'm gonna try

(01:34:17):
to shoot him again with my happy tea 17 hell yeah how much damage does this do
this does 16 p 16 right it hits him right it is it isn't an aoe oh sick so

(01:34:44):
there has to be like security around him as well and as it hits him the like
flames from his crotch come off and get some security guys in the face and
they're like need to start running around nice nice it explodes and he like
takes a step and then stands back up

(01:35:06):
Lucy sick balls and I point to the nearest guy that's on fire nice you're
gonna toss her one of them treats oh yeah sure she goes affirmative sir and
she like nails on the fucking tile she gets back on all fours and just puts out

(01:35:31):
a cone right brick on a freaky yeah and I feel like it's gonna hit both the
security guards and the mech itself so the mech is gonna take another six just
a cone that's badass all right yeah okay keeping Lucy's location in mind I'm

(01:35:55):
going to take my umbrella grenades and I'm gonna aim on the other side of the
mech so it won't hit her nice that's cool yeah let's get that grenade going
baby classic same classic Samik miss followed welcome into the show friend

(01:36:18):
three you got a three you had to be the three so no extra bonuses but you
see I'm gonna go ahead and drink my damage potion which caused doubles the
damage oh no it's for it's for one cast of a spell just kidding I'm not gonna

(01:36:38):
do that I'm just gonna go ahead and do 12 physical damage okay to you 12 to the
mech the hips and from behind you know like steps forward a couple feet hell
yeah and then I'm gonna go ahead and drink my is it is it the same no no

(01:36:58):
how you doing yeah my mana potion free action to cast a spell nice okay okay so
I'm gonna drink that I'm gonna also cast a spell I'm gonna cast my mana bolt at
it as a big bunch of red like slimy magic kind of just flies out of my hands

(01:37:19):
and goes for this guy nice and holy shit there's a six I got a two which so
minor even at one point when I do succeed I'll reroll successes because of
chaotic world but so far I haven't oh yeah so all right that's for over and

(01:37:42):
you'll and cuz I leveled it up you'll not have to reroll two successes instead
of one hell yeah nice so that's ten total physical damage for that nice all
right fair enough a picture like you shoot out this vampire magic and the

(01:38:05):
fans that are still alive they're like oh cool oh cool but the guy in the mechs
like I must have it I need looks right at you and Anka before the mech gets to
take its turn it's you all right I'm going to whip out my mono filament whip

(01:38:30):
I tried tried to get it around the legs of the make because it can slice through
almost anything nice e that's a two sake I'm never big that's a three

(01:38:53):
yeah I'll use my couch coin all right for one more success I'm tired of this
failing okay use your success almost anything yeah how much damage does it do
7p 7 but I want to pull it slack to try and slice through the legs okay I want

(01:39:18):
to cripple the legs on the mix suit you get one leg right leg or left leg uh the
side loose he's not on cool we'll do right leg so you whip it around and pull
it tight and just a bottom foot of it comes off but as it comes off along
with like sparks and gears and bolts and shit some blood also comes out and he's

(01:39:39):
like ah my foot and it lands right on the ground so now he's like lopsided
you yeah yeah fine it's fine it's like blood just like leaking on the ground but
he's like metal Omnicon all of your powers will be mine and he he has these

(01:40:04):
two mini guns and he just like sweeps the room with him I need all three of
you guys to make me a defense check oh four and three and two you got a five

(01:40:32):
but he has to reroll two of them so that is two right there which is a four and a
two which means you got a three which means Ananka and Roger you both take
five P as it sweeps across oh even with my three that's yeah oh yeah one two it

(01:41:02):
goes to the armor first though right correct mm-hmm
how there's my armor that I just fixed for the game what are you at with your
armor is it out oh it's out there yeah can can I give her one of my couch coins
to give her a success on that roll yeah sure absolutely yeah that's cool all

(01:41:27):
right you succeed we've done first time we've done that look at that shit right
there that ass thank you a one so it's just Roger that takes five physical
damage yeah and will you also make me a different for Lucy and Ananka will you
make me a defense check for crux yeah

(01:41:52):
Lucy got a six crux got a three so he takes it like a champ but he takes five
damage I feel like I feel like Lucy dodged it just because of like her height
not you can see was quicker anything like that many good just shot over so
I feel like Ananka dodges it like ducks down and then I just gets crux all in

(01:42:16):
the chest like so like same thing but he like takes it and he's like pain he
touches the blood and he's like been a while he like puts it over his face like
this he's got an erection he feels pain and he's like rock solid and there's

(01:42:42):
something sticking out of them pubes Ananka it's your turn it is I thought I
just went oh you just went and then I just went now it's Roger
help me he's got a motor
just loading up another bracket this guy's Peter again

(01:43:08):
are we gonna see a master no he's good she likes napkins all right shoot that
rocket son shoot my rock oh it's a three three five you fail

(01:43:31):
sorry fuck another rocket failure did we ever do damage for the pistol did you
shoot the pistol I haven't yeah I shot the pistol what okay I don't remember
rolling but did we do it I don't think you did
damn stay got the real world you think I'm three or all take get rid of those

(01:43:54):
five as a do which means you hit you say someone you shoot this thing also also
don't you have to reroll two successes yeah that's true
oh well now reroll those two successes please I can't but I don't want to do it

(01:44:18):
whenever I fail because then it's a waste of time
fine actually it'll add to the damage oh true that's true I think about that yeah
okay two above this that 14 damage Roger with your rocket launcher 16p damn is

(01:44:42):
does it does this rocket blow the armor certifiable underscore nerd just reading
a story bloody Sunday this interesting confectionary of two scoops of congealed
blood covered in more blood infuses a vampire with the supernatural speed of
an unregulated diabetic on amphetamines for the next three turns you can take

(01:45:05):
two actions extend this effect by one turn for each enemy you drain of blood
during the duration I love it first of all certifiable how did you know that I
am a diabetic with ADHD cool we'll take it it's very cool put her down she

(01:45:33):
literally is a diabetic on amphetamines okay as the rocket hits him right in the
crotch she like blows away his crotch piece on the mech suit and you can just
see his slacks from his suit now just they're kind of like burned a little bit
and okay good completely is my second action I'm gonna aim right at his

(01:45:55):
peener and pull the trigger nice roll to hit soft targets off target soft target
and then I'm gonna point at the crux's dick and go hard target hard target
nice no don't say that near police that's a far okay wait how much damage is

(01:46:25):
your pistol do significantly less than my racket right 9p okay plus the
way less significantly less okay another this kills him so I could blow away so

(01:46:56):
you shoot him right in the sack and it blows through his khaki pants and blows
his sack off and he starts bleeding so much that he falls to his knees and then
falls to the ground is his sack and foot are just bleeding out all over the floor
as this chaos continues to erupt all around you oh I'm going to actually rush

(01:47:21):
up to the fallen body and yield to crux to take his his axe to the dome piece
the big glass dome piece so I can access the man's eyes nice he runs you know
doing the helicopter he's just rock solid it's like he's like and he

(01:47:46):
lightsaber axes this glass dome and it just melts away all around the do is the
glass and he picks the glass up and chucks it in another security garden and
like smashing goes and he runs away again with the axe can we can we just

(01:48:08):
paint the picture a little bit for the guy himself like he was in a fight this
now that he got shot in the dick now he's laying on the ground bleeding out
he's inside his suit like oh my god I'm bleeding out I'm losing consciousness
as like some crazy lady and I'm liking right up to him cut his suit open he's
like oh my god what's happening I'm gonna pass out she's like nice eyeballs

(01:48:36):
yeah that's what's happening when I'm gonna fall and stuck out his eyeballs
okay well one of them has a full erection to see how well he pulled his eyeballs out it's
gonna be an agility check you can feel free to use your powers with it but I
need agility on this check for you to pull these eyeballs out
Agility?

(01:48:59):
and I just need you to be a three you got a four okay so he pulled his eyeballs
out right and you've got them in your hands and they look like they're still
working oh good well he said keep him safe so I'm gonna stick him in the
bottle that I just drank the potion from to keep him safe nice nice and I'm gonna

(01:49:24):
shove him down my tits
nice hell yeah hell yeah okay by this point now you guys look around and there are just
blasted and tattered metal Omnicon t-shirts that just litter the floor
everything's exploded and bloody and it sounds like a lot of your crew have made

(01:49:44):
it to the second floor by now and are now exploding and destroying everything
on the second floor some of the floors cracking down there's like blown out
glass you can see out the windows they're going absolutely insane you guys
know that you have to go down to the basement though and that's where we're
going to take our second break all right that's it didn't I know that's trying to

(01:50:05):
think of something fun to play right I love you yeah it's pretty sweet pretty
sweet somebody's getting an eyeful Jesus Jesus too soon okay
it's from here five minute break and we're to come back for the final act of this
year episode hello everybody welcome back to the grouch couch this is metal

(01:50:31):
Omnicon and guess what we're in the third act of episode 9 which means there's
this one two episodes left of the Jenga campaign we're right in the height of the heat of the
final battle and I'm here with the band say hello band so explosions all around
you what do you do

(01:50:54):
oh I'm usually so wait so as I see I can see everything can I see exactly what
we need to go yeah you remember that when you flew in here previously you went
down into the basement you believe that to be where mr. Johnson is yeah but I

(01:51:19):
can see with through all the realms so can I see essentially the path to like
through the ethereal plane and the astral plane and see through walls but
you can see your surroundings so if you want to call upon maybe your God could
help show you the way but there's a big-ass sign that says basement down

(01:51:41):
this way and there's like stairs that go right down we go all right what is the
path you guys are taking who's first
ah trucks go all right um he'll run ahead she's pretty skippy there's stairs

(01:52:07):
here either our stairs yes being good Roger first
left some chat for my finals in oh yeah I gotta go on that last upper dicky pillow
yes thanks car has anybody gone down the stairs yet no but here we go you say

(01:52:39):
crux go and he who let's go and he jumps down the stairs dick just hitting
him right in the belly button as he's jumping down the stairs and he on
slowly walk behind him that's a substantial body and as you hit the
corner eon you see crux gets to the bottom and there's this long hallway
that goes down there's like doors all across and right at the left side about

(01:53:03):
ten feet down there's a security turret that's just start firing right at crux's
chest and there's like blood going everywhere and he's like and he trucks
his axe and it cuts the security turret down and it falls to the ground and
crux falls down to the ground just bleeding with all these bullets on his
chest oh no crux hang on I'm gonna kill him if I can I think you can yeah he'll

(01:53:31):
spell you know one box of physical or stun damage perfect on a sorcery plus
willpower test all right get it
six so he's laying on the ground there's this turret sparking next to him and you

(01:53:56):
get close to him and he's breathing real heavy and he's a hey you
yeah I've got all this blood here and he puts his finger in it and he puts it on
your nose

(01:54:21):
like his chest you didn't you didn't flinch
is my blood not scare you should I flinch I mean what you get no huh I mean
it's gross yeah you're afraid of blood but not mine

(01:54:46):
well you're kind of hot oh he looks down his penis has been shot he's like
as a vampire spit could heal you he's like oh you can you can heal me how I

(01:55:18):
can um um this is not how I imagine this was gonna go and she's gonna heal him
again
you oh my god yeah that's right that's what's up aside from him um that's

(01:55:46):
another three all right you heal him you wave your hands around him I don't know
how you want to say that you do it oh there's touching involved you as you
touch the bullet holes and his cock could just heal away as you touch it's

(01:56:07):
like the skin reforms like as you touch and it solidifies and he goes well I
feel much better and he stands up his like is he standing you're crouching you
know oh he's like to battle and he picks his axe back up

(01:56:29):
and boy little bit of a thing I have a yes oh she's gonna turn around and look
at she's gonna look at an oka and go holy shit okay you look I don't even I

(01:56:56):
don't even know long hallway I don't even know it's a long hallway have you
seen it it had a bullet wound in it it could fill a whole way this is why God
granted us RPGs folks just for this sentence that could have been a first I

(01:57:19):
think in all of history do you think any dungeon masters ever said that I just
got my first I mean I mean last what was it two seasons ago Roger got a hand job
and then almost guys penis ripped off what's true yeah that did happen but I
mean you know a Viking gets healed by a vampire you know like has that ever I

(01:57:42):
don't know this is why we play okay true blood probably
maybe I don't know really not you're right there Steve the walking wanker I
wanted him to be more than that but this episode yes okay so it's long hallway

(01:58:06):
there's three doors on one side three doors on the other one door at the very
end well if I remember in my vision it's the one at the very end
mmm indeed but wait do we end up with any of those since it was 96 people 10

(01:58:26):
each we still have some grenades left over right sure yeah oh yeah yeah maybe
you've got oh can we can we just walk one you have one grenade line that's not
how that's not math in that's math ain't math in for that that's true I'm I was
really liberal with the grenades I'm so sorry we just go down the halls open the

(01:58:53):
door throw a grenade shut the door as we go down just clear on the room he's in
the end one I was thinking there was prisoners in there those are jail cells
but you just kill you just say doors yeah oh my god okay we only have one so

(01:59:19):
that didn't happen
um does anybody have anything to unlock these doors or are they locked you
approach and try I say whenever you get close enough to the door you can see
there's like an isolate like a little latch so you could see in and there is

(01:59:41):
like a pulley with a little keyhole underneath it and all of them are locked
Johnson it's common form you know he's at the end for sure oh okay hi Johnson
I'm gonna go over there it's a good point sir okay you go directly to the

(02:00:02):
Johnson door and you should open and you can see he's in there Johnson is
strapped to a chair his face is bloody like that dark nasty blood oh and he's
like missing a tooth from clear torture and there's just one single light and

(02:00:23):
his head is down like this well I don't like that Roger yeah you want to open
this door sure I shoot it
yeah I mean say it say the thing I need some damage here so just be too with

(02:01:00):
your firearm be the two my arm of fire he's like a four four master key
shotgun yeah so you shoot the locks of the door and the door swings open and

(02:01:25):
Johnson's eyes slowly open as he looks up and all he sees is like gun smoke and
then Roger stay in there with a gun and he's like oh thank God you've come hey
buddy I mean you're a bread and butter right here we wouldn't leave you behind
good talking with my bread and butter yeah Roger come close I must I must show

(02:01:54):
you something I swear to God if you kiss me right now I will kill you look look
down my pants Roger
you look down and you can see past his pants there's no boxers and he gets real

(02:02:15):
close to your ear and he goes I'm free balling and now now I just started to
love you don't leave now nice yeah you could try I'm gonna try

(02:02:42):
while Aon's doing this I'm gonna tell crooks to start banging down the other
doors with the lightsaber axe nice he's like to patrol yes I think in my head I
picture crux still has scars though like you're healing his wounds but he still

(02:03:03):
hell yeah yeah so like scars on his chest and other places there's still
he loves that yeah does he have key Lloyd's are they like key light scars
where they like stick out and make everything a bit puffier that's for your
imagination all right now is is a day on having a ribbed for her pleasure kind of
evening later mirror see I didn't do this mirror I didn't that was I didn't

(02:03:31):
do that you heal him for eight as you heal him you can see like his eyes
reopen in your blood like my voice cracked your blood like goes like into
his body and he like he like breathes out this long breath and he's like oh

(02:03:52):
thank God help help me up and he like holds out his hands and you pull him up
out of the chair and his knees kind of like crack a little bit and he's like oh
we're still here okay metal Omnicon there's still a job to do the page it's

(02:04:13):
on the third floor get it all right hurry the boss is around the corner
crux is also the other prisoners get to the boost yeah yeah get them to safety
but also there's like a bunch of like 96 fans running around here with like
handfuls of grenades so be careful about that oh no I ain't wimping out that easy

(02:04:41):
Roger a boy can I have a gun you know it's funny you say that cuz I was just
about to give you mine oh and he holds it with like the utmost respect and he
says this means a lot thank ya means a lot to you too I usually shoot people's

(02:05:05):
dick with that now I'm just gonna have to do with this lame old rocket launcher
he wipes blood away from under his nose and he cocks back the gun and he says
it's peepee time and he charges out of the door I don't want to say this in
front of him but guys that was really fucking cool
yeah I was kind of cool right like he's getting there and that's fucking that's

(02:05:30):
kind of sweet like he's learning it's fucking metal is what that is fucking
Johnson's arc this is incredible character arc of the season I mean like
I don't he's been the main character all along
oh now we need Johnson art and I'm not talking about the crux scene he charges

(02:05:59):
out you guys look to see him just charging past crux just cutting down
doors and as he's doing so there's just a bunch of people that their heads have
been shaved bald and they're all in just like gowns and they have like tubes on
their arms and shit like supreme 10s doing been some kind of like weird
testing and all these people but crux begins like shooing them out like trying

(02:06:19):
to get them outside to get them out and most of them are pretty excited just to
fucking leave some of them need some help yes and you guys follow them out
and they scatter back out into the city these people in dress gowns just bald
crazy people and fucking into the bush yeah there's a bus around the corner you

(02:06:39):
guys get back to the stairs and Johnson's standing there just admiring
this gun and he goes I'm ready when you are metal on the car
get this show on the road hell yeah it's like badass who will take lead I will

(02:07:02):
take lead shall we go I mean sure have you been up to the third floor not yet
didn't make it last time this time I know where to go and he turns and starts

(02:07:23):
walking up the stairs and he stops at the second set of stairs and shoots
these little like laser traps on the ground he's like not this time and then
it gets up to the top and he's like a there's another turret and before he
even reaches the top he shoots the turret down and he's like not again and
then just keeps going up the stairs it's kind of like a pattern like he knows
where all this shit is like he's fucking ready eventually you guys follow him

(02:07:46):
all the way up to the top and you reach the door that says the third floor and
one of the doors is already blown down like onto the ground and you gaze in to
see there are explosions and just blood and shit everywhere and at this point
there are no more fans they've all done their duty everything exploded and
fucked up and just this whole fucking building is just in shambles and he

(02:08:10):
goes all right we go in here we're gonna need to shoot a lot guys everyone's dead
we gave our fans ten grenades each oh 96 people show up yeah they're pretty

(02:08:32):
radicalized at this point we need to take a look at that when we get back to
doing bad stuff about common or fan base down so they don't you know are easily
swayed into these types of actions
I am at a loss for words but they knew they were gonna die they're all people I

(02:08:59):
told they were gonna die in an office building after shows I mean that is true
I guess you can't fight fake hmm or plastic explosives here's the plan
metal on the car Anonka I need you to scan the area for magic we need to find
that page eon you're gonna turn into a bat and zoom around this whole floor to

(02:09:22):
see if anyone's left Roger I need you to go on their guns blazing if she sees
somebody you're gonna shoot him and me well there's one guy that deserves a
bullet
enough ugly bad since all blonde since I already have hate that guy I says name

(02:09:46):
turkeys no no I think he's like the son of corn or something I don't know okay
what are you gonna say Anonka oh no since I already took that potion that
lets me see everything can I see the magical aura of the page out in the

(02:10:09):
distance sure which you can't really see through walls you're gonna have to step
into the room or go into your astral form to look around yeah I'll do that
I'll just Jimmy on down against the wall hmm crux will stay with you right
he'll chill protect his yes like can you like turn to face the other way because

(02:10:31):
I feel like I'm gonna get poked in the eyes apologies my queen he like holds it
up against his belly and turns around
the Josh yeah could be a bit too obvious for my campaigns no I just like

(02:10:55):
Johnson's arc okay you go down and you're gonna promise that Johnson would
not we were promised that Johnson would not go evil because a Turk likes him too
much and if he breaks that trust you know I don't know if we could ever play
another campaign with him hmm yeah Johnson turns around with the gun
when you get on your knees and he's like surprise bitch he doesn't sound like a

(02:11:21):
nerd that's it okay you don't any needs to begin to meditate and your form begins
to turn but first we're gonna cut to eon eon what do I'm gonna turn into a bat
and start zipping through these halls trying to see what I can see sick ass

(02:11:43):
will you roll me a perception all right and we'll give you a plus two because
you're in bat form if you need it oh no you need to check where is your need to
check fly up Roger you step into this room rocket launcher on shoulder and
this whole room is like made of glass it's like not made of glass but like the

(02:12:04):
walls are like all windows this is like classic skyscraper kind of thing but all
the windows are blown out so there's just this breeze that's just coming
through and as you fly out eon you're going like out and inside the windows
like flying in and out and you just see all these desks are turned over and all
these like ceiling things are falling down with like cables like there's a
bunch of like dead fans but as you fly around you can see at the end of the

(02:12:28):
room there seems to be a couple dudes they're still alive but they're down on
the ground like bleeding out and above them there's just like this big metal
like vault door and as you fly around it on the outside you can see that it's
actually made of concrete and beams it hasn't been blown out yet and as Roger
you step forward with the rocket launcher you're like step around these

(02:12:49):
desks and you just hear these dudes like screaming on the ground and as Anonka
you go down into your astral form and you fly up and you can see this powerful
figure sitting behind a desk in this vault room and he looks like he's
holding the page and you're like magical vision he's like trying to read it

(02:13:13):
yep I'm gonna come back to my body and be like Johnson I think I found your guy
he goes this is good news he's got the page all right what are we waiting for
and I'm gonna start a gating the the gaggle I have with me down the hall

(02:13:39):
towards the big vault door nice as you get there you see Roger with the rocket
launcher first we're gonna let Roger take an action there's one of the guys
on the ground yeah he's breathing real heavy and he's like Roger I can see

(02:14:00):
anywhere come here I can't I can't see you come here smell who are you yeah
well my name is looking at chat we're gonna call him my name is certify

(02:14:24):
certify I was the president of HR I had to read your file really well I just
before I die I want to say the weird shit that you did kept me going it was a

(02:14:50):
fun story to bring home to the family you're a real piece of shit you know
that die Corpo revenge on HR there was all right what do you guys do well I'm

(02:15:17):
gonna fly back so okay so we're heading towards this vault door hmm yeah uh
does there seem to be a way to open the vault door there's a big-ass metal crank
on it oh hey crux you want to crank it I can try but I I found some of this in a

(02:15:55):
mini fridge over there and he holds it up and it says I can't believe this shit
is butter and he's like I think it's time for the butter better than your

(02:16:23):
girlfriend hey next bottom the shortage

(02:16:44):
Not funny, not funny, it was a stupid joke.
You're gonna make it for me.

(02:17:06):
I'm trying not to!
Fuck off, I'm done, I'm done.
No.
Fabio hands.
Okay, we're good.

(02:17:27):
Roger, you want to blow the fuck out of that door?
Oh yeah, yeah, sure, sorry, I was busy killing this fucking stupid guy on the fucking floor, whatever, yeah.
Nice.
The door blows wide open, and then absolutely, um,
Krux says, butter that cob, and then just, corn goes everywhere.

(02:17:50):
The door opens, and this big spinny chair turns around.
This guy's got a little corgi in one hand and a page in the other.
Oh no.
Well, well, well, Metal Omnicon.
Good to see you dudes.
Well, I knew you'd be coming someday.

(02:18:12):
What is it that I can do for you?
Uh...
But I'll pet that dog.
Sure.
Come here, come on.
So, I knew you'd be coming.

(02:18:36):
I've been following you guys for a while.
And I, um...
I don't think you understand what we're trying to do.
You'll understand what you're trying to do.
Yeah.
Performing mass genocides, taking away human rights, creature rights,

(02:18:59):
hiking up the price of everything so no one can afford anything,
forcing tons of people into poverty and destitute situations
just to make your own dick bigger.
And enforcing dress code at work.
Yeah, well, the dress code thing was out of my hands.
Certify it, which probably was, she was enforcing that.
But here's the deal.

(02:19:22):
People think they know what they want.
Nobody knows what they want.
And once they get it, they want more.
Everybody wants more, more, more, more, more.
You know, they're not satisfied with what we have to give them.
So, all we have to do is take away a little bit.
And then the want for the basic necessities.
Imagine a world where people are just working just to try and get water,

(02:19:43):
just to get by, right?
Their brains are distracted.
They don't need these dumb other objects, you know?
All they need is a place to go to the bathroom, a place to stay warm.
So we rip that all out of their hands.
That's quite a pessimistic outlook.

(02:20:06):
So you're going to summon some sort of elder god
to bring everybody to their knees and then look to you for salvation
as you sell them water off of the measly pay they do by working for you?
Basically. But they won't be down on their knees, of course.
Just half the people will die.

(02:20:27):
Part of the couch, part of the crew.
S-P-O-O, Kai Sprinkles, subscribed thanks to at Blink Dog Sworn for my sub gift.
Aw, hell yeah, Sprinkles.
Thanks to Blink Dog.
He says, Sprinkles?
We kill half the people, you know?
The monster will be happy and it'll stay where it is,

(02:20:50):
leave us alone, at least we hope, while we just do our thing, you know?
Of course.
Hashtag Thanos was right?
Yeah.
Hashtag Thanos did nothing wrong.
I don't know what that means, but I'm one of the heads
for the supreme ten of Death Corp and Walmart.
Of course, my lord and savior is up in the sky base

(02:21:11):
where he belongs, nice and safe, but I do his dirty work here and I think.
And as he says, I think, Johnson comes to the door
and cocks the gun and he holds it up and he's like,
make me do something.
Make me do something one more time.
You've taken away my free will, you son of a bitch.

(02:21:37):
Alright.
Have you been working for him?
This is a meta joke.
DM Turk controls Mr. Johnson.
This is a meta joke.
Ah, OK, thank fucking Christ.
It's not deep. It's not deep.
It's not story. It's just a meta joke.
Yeah.

(02:22:01):
God damn it.
Johnson, shoot him in the throat.
He says, copy that.
He looks at you, Roger.
He's like, you ever wanted to kill Dungeon Master Turk?
Absolutely, but I've wanted to do it like this for a while.
Hold on a second.
We both point at DM Turk's eyeballs and then I start reading.

(02:22:26):
And the shepherds we shall be for thee, my lord.
For thee power hath descended forth from thy hand.
Our feet may swiftly carry out thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to thee,
teeming with the souls shall it ever be.
In nomine patre et filii et spiritus santi.

(02:22:48):
And he goes, did we just get burned dark at Cobalded?
Yeah, he says, DM Turk says, goodness.
And then you guys shoot.
And he falls to the table and the page releases from his hand.
And as it does, his body turns into Thanos dust and goes out the window.

(02:23:12):
I'm going to pick up the puppy and take it with us.
Nice.
Yay, puppy.
I'm going to go, yeah, motherfucker, that was Boondock Saints.
And I'm going to chest bump fucking.
Johnson.
He flips around the gun, puts it back and he's like, you and your fucking rope.
My favorite line from that movie.

(02:23:33):
OK.
You're not.
Is this dead?
I have crazy hot.
I have one crazy hot take about Boondock Saints.
And it's funny that I have this voice right now.
So the two main characters of Boondock Saints are both Irishmen and they hired Billy Connolly to be his father.
I'm going to be mad.
We need to crotch speech for this.
OK.
Thank you.

(02:23:54):
OK.
So listen, the two main characters are Irishmen working.
They meet their father, who is also Irish and quotation marks because they hired Billy Connolly and Billy Connolly didn't change his voice at all.
He was just a regular Scotsman the whole time because Americans won't notice that thing.

(02:24:16):
But it's like the one glaring thing I noticed the entire time I watched that movie going, why are they telling me this Scottish man is an Irishman?
They are completely different.
And that is the end of my crotch speech.
Fair.
Very good. Very good.
OK.
Now back to important story things.
The page flies up in the air.

(02:24:39):
The little book from down below in the van flies up to the third floor and they connect together.
They spin in a circle.
Couch coin.
Daym Steve underscore forge of law just redeemed couch coin.
Kate.
Not Hanonka.
Kate.
The book spins in a circle and then it lands on the desk and leather bound leather forms on top of it.

(02:25:05):
And then in a bunch of letters, it says the metal on the car.
Ain't that lovely.
Oh.
Johnson says, grab it.
Let's get the fuck out of here.

(02:25:26):
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to take off my Mac's collar.
I'm going to take off Max collar and toss it.
I know. Just carry the pulpit with us.
Nice.
Oh, hey, grab that collar for later, crux.
Oh, he puts it on little dingling.
That's a callback.

(02:25:47):
That's from the collar.
No, I'm going to grab the book.
You know, funny.
And you guys stroll together out of this fucking.
Remember, Ian, there are leash laws in this in this city.
Make sure you have that that puppy on a leash.

(02:26:09):
And you got a.
We'll see.
You guys roll out of this exploded on fire building.
You descend the stairs out front to see all of your fans dead.
The book completed.
Johnson rescued limping.
And bald, crazy people running around in the streets, flicking up traffic.

(02:26:35):
You head over to your bus.
And Johnson says.
The summoning begins tomorrow.
We will put together our team.
And then.
We'll put an end to this shit.
Once and for all.

(02:27:00):
You don't look bad with the tooth out.
You actually look kind of badass.
Yeah, he's got a missing tooth now.
Metal.
Yeah.
I really want to give him a silver tooth somehow.
He's going to get a silver tooth.
Yes.
Yeah.
I like it.
He went from a nerdy fucking metal band manager to an actual metal band manager.

(02:27:25):
It's like if in Death Clock, the band manager actually had character development.
Like, that's what this whole fucking.
Yeah.
All right.
He kind of did.
Yeah.
He turned into an anime protagonist.
Like season two.
Yeah.
Kind of a little bit.
Oh, I should say he pulls you to the side.

(02:27:48):
And he's like, the next Sunday, me and you are we're going to have a private little thing that we're going to do.
And we're going to figure out what that is the following week because you won't be here next week.
It's going to be a shorter episode next week while we plan the finale with the other two guys.
We'll figure out what that is.
I'm going to send you on a mission by yourself.
Yeah.
We'll talk about that.
Yeah.

(02:28:09):
All right.
That's where we end our episode.
Oh, I can't turn in my eyes to my God.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, God eyes.
Yeah.
Good eyes, mate.
Let's do that.
Let's do that now.

(02:28:31):
Your God tells you you need a space for him to be summoned, much like he used the bus before.
But the bus is crammed full of people.
Currently, he says we need a space even though we go to church.
Go to church.
There you go.
Hop over in the church and you pray to your God.
And once again, the whole thing is covered in black feathers.

(02:28:56):
The inside complete darkness.
And you just see two large crow eyes looking right at you.
Roger's not even there.
He's got PTSD.
He says the mission complete.

(02:29:18):
Yeah.
There's the ice.
And I put them on a little platter at the pulpit.
Nice.
He gets real close and looks at him.
And he looks back at you.
And he's like, the avatar of the Raven shall be blind no more.

(02:29:41):
And they go up and they glow.
He says, do you accept?
Of course, if that's your will.
Granted.
And then they right into your head.
And your whole hair like flies back.

(02:30:03):
And your eyes like glow this crazy color.
And then they.
And you blink your eyes and they're just crow eyes.
Thank you.
What do you require next?

(02:30:26):
Lead.
Lead or lead?
Lead.
Be the avatar of the Raven.
Grow our church.
Speak my truths.

(02:30:47):
Of course.
Of course, of course.
And it, I'm saying.
Is it?
Excellent.
Holy shit.
Just me and my crew ways.

(02:31:11):
Just walk back onto the bus with just giant, giant yellow eyes, like encompassing the whole thing.
This is normal.
We're going to be thinking about it.

(02:31:34):
And we're going to be talking about it.
And it's going to be great.
And it's going to be great.
So it's going to be great.
So it's going to be great.
OK.
And we're going to end our episode.
We're going to come back next week for some more shenanigans.
But for now we're going to come back and do a quick little short rest, roll some dice for faction things and discuss what the hell just happened, give us a few minutes to get out of costume.
We may be removing makeup here on camera like we have been the past couple of times.

(02:31:55):
4 p.m. PST, although that's gonna be changing soon. We're gonna be doing a different show anyways
Here's heroes

(02:32:21):
Join us next time on metal Omnicon where turkey finds out that he is the main villain of the story
Anonka finally sees things in the light of a person that actually has eyes and a on
Finds out she does like bloody fucking cock
Tune in next time on metal Omnicon
Roger Roger is fucking there and he has a rocket launcher

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