August 12, 2022 • 33 mins
In this episode, I talk about that undeniable pull that some individuals have. I share some stories from my youth, recent experiences, and a story of one of my girlfriends.
I have a theory some people are just born with game. To drive this point home, I share stories of a kid I knew in elementary school and a boy I nannied while I was in college. These boys had the it-factor and it was undeniable as early as fourth grade. They were confident, but not arrogant.
"Game" is almost never used as a female connotation. I do think as we get older, the term is less about confidence and potentially more about arrogance.
I've maybe met a couple of guys with game as an adult. I enjoy a little game of flirt and fun. When it's lacking, I feel like dates feel too buttoned up and more business than pleasure.
John Denver, a guy I dated, had a little bit of game. He was quit witted in texts. He was pretty good at banter and flirting. He was adoring and complimentary. He was a bit spontaneous and impulsive. When we were together, he opened doors, held my hand, and called me pet names. He was direct. The opposite of having game is playing games. You know, being coy - not responding to texts, waiting to call, being unavailable.
I have a girlfriend who I think has a lot of game. She's bold, sexual, direct, funny, and flirty. She made a joke about her husband not having game. I love how she explained him. She said, "My husband doesn't have game. He has manners."
Next, I share a story of a guy from my home town who somehow managed to sleep with a bunch of girls and he got most of them pregnant. He has several baby mama's and I don't really know how or why. My friend knows a very similar guy with eerily similar features. These two average guys make us wonder what it was about them that attracted women without even having to try. We decided it was their reputation and track record with women that made other women want them.
I think the different facets of game are interesting:
- sex appeal
- confidence
- it-factor
- button pushers
- plays coy
- don't have to try
- mysterious
In conversations with my friends we tended to agree that men who have a really strong "game" often are the ones who hurt us. It's sad but true. I share how I've been hurt by these guys and also how I've used my "powers" for evil rather than good. "Game" can be used in smart and sexy ways or to manipulate and hurt.
I think people with a good amount of game do these communicate well ( I go into great detail about this.) I tell a story of a guy I was interested in years ago after my first divorce. He complimented features about me that I was insecure about - my hair and my hands, etc. I felt like he was being insincere and not honest compliments.
I share another story of a coffee date. On our first and only date, he revealed to me that he had a nose job. It caused some issues in his previous marriage. He wanted to know how I felt about it. I told him I wasn't bothered by it and thought he looked great. As we continued to discuss cosmetic surgeries, I got the feeling maybe what he really wanted to know was if I was open to altering my own body. This was pre- boob job...
I think a common denominator of game is the ability to make someone feel special in a sincere and honest way and be able to verbalize it without restraint. To me, good game is sexy, fun, sincere, genuine, honest, and played with good intention.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to man shopping with Stacy, where I
share my real transparent datingand life experiences for your
amusement and inspiration.
I'm your host, Stacy weer, andyou are listening to season two
episode 52 got game.
(00:21):
In this episode, I'm going totalk about all things game
related, you know, that likeundeniable pole and sexy
attraction that some individualshave mm-hmm and
tell some stories from, uh, frommy hometown, from my, um, youth,
(00:42):
as well as maybe some recentdating stories.
And I'm going to share myfriend's point of view.
My girlfriend, she's got a greatexample, um, of a guy who had
game, um, from college and sheshared some really good details
about him.
And then just some really solidpoints about this topic in
(01:04):
general, that I think you guysare really going to appreciate
to begin.
I'm going to share a theory ofmine that I think some people
are just born with game.
Let me share an example with youfrom my youth in my hometown of
Sedalia, Missouri, when mycousin, Mandy and I were fourth
(01:26):
graders at wittier elementary,we met a new boy mm-hmm
he and his familyhad just moved to Sedalia and he
had two older brothers and thethree of them.
Well, the three of them werevery, very cute.
They got a lot of attention assoon as they, as soon as they
showed up, you know, at the, uh,playground and the, uh, the
(01:50):
oldest boy was planning abirthday party.
He must have been in like, let'ssay the eighth grade.
And funny enough, he had a thingfor my older cousin, Carmen.
Yeah.
So when he had this birthdayparty of boys and girls over to
the house, there was no doubtthat he was going to be spending
most of his night, like with hisarm hanging around my older
(02:12):
cousin, Carmen, who I totallylooked up to.
Okay.
So this party is in the worksand their parents allowed the
middle and the youngest son toeach invite a friend.
Well, they didn't invite likemaybe a boy from the baseball
team or someone from their likehomeroom class.
(02:32):
Who did they invite?
Hmm, middle son invited mycousin, Mandy and youngest son
invited me.
Mm-hmm so threecousins, um, hanging out at a,
you know, kid party, um, thatdidn't really feel like a kid
(02:53):
party.
Yeah.
I remember when this boy calledmy house and asked if I could
come to his older brother'sbirthday party.
And I distinctly remember my dadbeing like, uh, no, no,
she can't go.
Um, it's with older kids, a boyinvited her.
She is a fourth grader and thatdoes not seem appropriate.
(03:16):
And then there was like me andmy, um, manipulative convincing
ways, uh, you know, at, uh,whatever I was like, what nine,
10 years old?
I don't even know.
Yeah.
Uh, story of my life.
I Beni pleated with my parentsand got my way.
And most likely since my cousinshad also been invited, that
(03:38):
probably helped my odds, youknow, because like, if my older
cousin was going to be there,then of course it would be like
safe because she could look outfor us.
Right.
So we all show up at this partyand it's basically like couples
dancing in a garage ordownstairs.
I don't really remember that.
Well, but what I do remember wasthe boy that invited me.
(04:02):
He, he was dressed nice.
He looked good.
He had cologne on, he probs hadlike gel in his hair and he was
smooth.
I mean, like we were on a date,like this was a thing when we
danced, he put his hands in myback pockets.
(04:26):
You guys like, this is like,pre-pubescent fourth grade.
What the hell?
This, uh, this is a, this issomething, this is a, this is a
boy who's got game.
Yeah.
Um, couple years later, same,same boy, sixth grade roller
(04:48):
rink.
Mm-hmm first kiss.
It was just a, you know, casuallittle smooch smooch on the
lips, but I mean, that counts,right?
Yeah.
Him, I think, I think he was,think he was born with game
funny enough, after all theseyears and all this stuff that's
happened in all of our livesthat boy, this boy with the
(05:11):
game, he's married to a girl whomay just have like the best game
of all this like straightshooting, like sharp tongue
smart, funny ferocious femalefriend of mine.
so I have to think thatmaybe they are an excellent
(05:37):
match as they have been marriedfor a long time.
Now I think how funny is thatthough?
Like fourth grade?
I mean, I could also speak abouta little fourth grader that I
nannied while I was in college.
Um, boy, do I love this familythat I NAD for in college?
I think I've, I think I'vetalked about them on this, uh,
podcast before, but they reallymade like a huge impression on
(06:01):
me and kinda shaped the womanthat I wanted to be and the type
of mother that I wanted to be.
But boy, at funny, looking backthat their oldest, um, their
son, oh my gosh, total game.
I mean talk about the gel andthe hair and the cologne.
He was all about it.
I remember dropping him off atthe swimming pool, um, one
(06:24):
summer and I mean, everyone wasshouting his name, like, come
over here, come be, Hey, youknow, waving, cuz they were just
all so happy to see this kidthat just had it, you know, that
it factor that undeniable likesmoother than silk, like hot,
(06:46):
something about them just drewattention.
You know, the boys I'm talkingabout now were like confident.
They weren't arrogant.
You know, they, they just hadthis sway about them.
They just carried themselveswith just ultimate ultimate
confidence.
Right.
Well, it's funny how thattranslates as we get older and
(07:10):
things get more complicated andyou know, hopefully we get a
little wiser and a little bitmore worldly, but I don't know
if that's true.
I feel like this, like it factorthis, this game.
I mean, I'm just gonna go aheadand point out.
One of the things that mygirlfriends talked about was
how, when you say game, italmost always is related to a
(07:32):
guy.
Right?
He's got game.
Oh my God is he have such gameit's never really used in like a
female connotation, which isinteresting.
But I will say like obviouslythe, the game gets a little bit
more intricate and manipulative.
(07:52):
It, it doesn't necessarily meanin a bad way, but um, just a
little bit more savvy as we, youknow, get to be more mature.
Right.
So in dating as an adult, I'veexperienced game, like really
(08:14):
solid game.
Like a couple of times sosad, but it's so true.
It's one of my biggestcomplaints in dating.
Um, as an adult, like later inlife with my girlfriends, I'm
like, oh my gosh, like, youknow, this guy's a box checker.
He is great on paper andwhatever.
And then we go out and it'slike, I'm at a freaking like
(08:37):
business interview.
Everything's buttoned up.
It's it's um, professional, youknow, it doesn't feel like the
guy's into me at all.
There's no compliments.
There's no flattery.
There's no touching my hand ormy shoulder or God forbid my
thigh.
Like, it just isn't happening.
There's no kiss.
There's no spark.
(08:58):
There's no nothing.
That guy does not have game.
That's been a big complaint ofmine over the course of time.
And even like in FaceTimes, likethat I've had with men from out
of town, I'm like, uh, yeah, Ijust don't feel it.
Like, there's just nothingthere.
Like nothing drawing me to him.
And likewise, I have found thatabout myself.
(09:22):
I mean, I I've said thismultiple times.
My girlfriends have, oftentimeswhen I get back from a date that
I tell them felt more like abusiness interview, they'll be
like, yeah, but did you flirtwith him?
No, no, I didn't.
Well, Hey, guess what if I aminto a guy you better believe
(09:43):
they know it.
You better believe it becausethere's no way that I am not
going to make it blatantlyobvious that I'm into someone
I'm really into.
So I'm gonna give you anotherexample of a guy who's got game
and it's a little bit morenuanced than like splashing on
CK one and you know, um,smooching me at the roller rink.
(10:04):
So this guy, um, definitely hasthe largest chapter of man
shopping with Stacy the book.
And I call him John Denver and um, and you know, he
had it, he had that little bitof game that I have an
appreciation for he'sspontaneous.
(10:26):
He was pretty impulsive.
Uh, one of the first things thatI noticed, which we all do, if
you have, you know, whateverdone some online, dating what?
I talked with chatted withsomeone, he was great at
texting.
He was witty.
He was quick.
He was, uh, he made me laugh andI understood what he was trying
(10:46):
to say without having to askquestions, which means he was
direct, right?
Direct, funny, witty.
We had great banter back andforth.
We just kind of got each otherand he was flirty and I liked
it.
You know, some of the otherthings that he did was he was
super adoring and complimentary,like not over the top.
And he knew I was into him.
(11:07):
So it was safe.
Like he wasn't gonna like pushme away or come on eager to
strong.
Like I liked it aside from likejust flattering me.
when we were together,he, he held my hand, put his arm
around my waist, opened doors,called me pet names a lot.
(11:29):
And like early on, early on oneof the other points that my
friend made, I guess what I'mdoing here is just weaving in my
friends, my friends, um,examples and experiences too.
She's like, she's like, is itgame?
Or is it just having balls?
Like, is it just having theconfidence to say what you mean?
(11:51):
And to put it out there andjust, just let it be known that
you like someone.
Cause I mean, the opposite oflike having game in my opinion
is playing games.
You know, being coy, not textingback for three days, ignoring
you for hours on end when youknow, you know, good and well,
their phone is right there infront of'em and they're choosing
(12:14):
to not text you back playinggames.
Hmm.
Does not equate to someone whohas got game.
No, someone who has game hasballs.
Right.
And you know, that earlier pointthat I made about like, it's
almost always like in referenceto a man he's got game, dude,
(12:34):
let me tell you about my friend.
She's got some game shewas laughing when she was
telling me she's like, uh, funnything.
I married a guy who really hasno game.
This is what I love.
She said, no, he doesn't, hedoesn't have any game.
I'm pretty sure I'm the one whohad the game because she's like,
you know, kind of aggressive andclear, direct and to the point
(12:58):
and flirty and super sexual.
But she's like, no, my husbandreally doesn't have game.
He has manners.
Mm-hmm I love it somuch though.
Like that works.
That totally works.
You know, talking about thesubject with some of my other
girlfriends.
It's funny, we came up with acouple very, very similar guys.
(13:19):
There were very obvious sharedtraits between a couple of guys
that we could both relate to.
So one of these guys, the guythat I told about, I don't even
know him.
Okay.
He's several years older thanme.
I know of him.
Right.
Because I mean, I mean, he'ssomething he, uh, good
(13:40):
looking guy, tall fit, athletic,really great basketball player.
Well, liked smiled a lot.
Carried himself with a lot ofconfidence.
I don't know.
Maybe ego, maybe not.
I don't know.
I don't know him personally.
What I do know is he has severalchildren by several different
women.
And he did like when we werereally young, so a lot of women
(14:04):
wanted to be his baby mama alot.
So in sharing his story, I had afriend pipe up and like, oh my
gosh, I can totally relate tothat.
She's like, and this takes alittle bit of a different spin.
So hang with me.
This isn't just a guy who likeknows how to flirt.
Like this is a guy with someserious gain that doesn't really
make sense or add up.
So she told this story of thisguy from college.
(14:26):
Right.
And she's like, so there's thisguy, um, Atoo.
Right.
And he was tall.
Okay.
Tall, common denominator, Iguess.
I don't know.
Really thin waist like toned fit.
Not necessarily overly like goodlooking, not too much of a
(14:48):
pretty boy.
And it wasn't even like hedressed, well, he kind of what
she said she said he kindof looked jobless and I'm like,
okay.
So an unemployed young manhanging out in a college town,
but he didn't actually even goto college.
Okay.
So she was at Mizzou, but thisguy was not, he just kind of was
at some of the parties and likehanging out in some of the same
(15:11):
circles.
All right.
So interestingly enough, she'slike this, you know, kinda
average looking guy, uh, got allthe girls and it just, it made
you kind of wonder, right?
He was mysterious.
He had this air about him.
She's like, he didn't evenflirt.
He just gave a sexy look.
(15:32):
He didn't even have to try.
So like in talking to her abouthim, we kind of decided that it
was like reputation.
Right.
It's like, I heard he's gotgame.
like never experiencedit.
Never felt it for myself, butgood God when he looked at me,
(15:55):
uh, yeah, I felt it.
Right.
So my friend decided that sheneeded some of that because I
mean, I don't know.
There were some other, likereally awesome girls who had
been with him and she's like,yeah, there's gotta be something
to it and leave it to my friendto figure it out.
So she was at a college bar atMizzou and he was there and you
(16:18):
know, non-college student atwhatever, jobless, homeless, I
don't know at the, at the bar.
And she walks up to him.
Uh, this friend has game.
This is what she said now,little cutter, some slack,
because she was like, you know,21 or something.
She's like, I don't have anypanties on.
I mean, that's a line.
(16:39):
I, I think she's got game.
And I think it worked, actually,I know it worked.
So, you know, they go back toher place, whatever.
And she's like, alright, nowwe're gonna figure this out.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
Like, oh my God, this guy musthave like, in her words, a 10
inch long, cuz that's what shesaid.
That's what she said.
(17:01):
Um, so they have sex and she'slike, okay, so what like average
penis, average sex, not bad, youknow, but not like freaking mind
blowing, not, not worthy of thekind of reputation that this guy
had out and about at Mizzou.
Like what the hell, what gives,like how did he do that?
(17:22):
How did he do that?
I don't know.
I kind of think sometimes if aguy, a mediocre guy dates a or,
or vice versa, right.
Dates a a really special, reallygreat girl.
Like other people, like theirperception is that he's better
than he is or she's better thanshe is.
I don't know.
Doesn't make sense.
(17:43):
Psychology people.
I don't know what it was, butthat guy had game.
And my friend, um, she had had adisappointment is what she had.
I don't know about you, but Ifound, I find it kind of
interesting.
The, the different connotationswe have for like game.
Like sometimes it's just likesex appeal like that.
(18:03):
Like I said, it factor, right?
Like, I mean there, um,confident they look good, they
smell good.
They know how to touch you.
They know what to say.
They know how to push yourbuttons and, and all of that.
And you could equate that tohaving game, I guess, or there's
this complete opposite Mo where,where someone like plays coy.
(18:28):
Right.
They, they don't even have totry.
They just sit back and like givea wink, look across the room.
They're just there.
, they're just there.
And you've heard yourgirlfriends chatter about them
or they have this reputation orthey just, they have some sense
(18:49):
of mystery about them.
That just makes you wonder thatyou like have to find out for
yourself.
I don't know.
It's strange.
It's strange when you likecompare and contrast the
different types of game thatpeople have.
But you know, like I mentionedearlier, like there's a
difference between having gameand playing game.
Right.
But in conversations with mygirlfriends, we did tend to
(19:13):
think that men who have a reallystrong game often are the ones
who have hurt us.
They use their powers for eviland not for good, uh, sad, but
true.
I mean, definitely I've been thevictim of that.
(19:37):
more than once JohnDenver being one person who hurt
me, but you know, what kind oflike my friend was like kinda
taking the credit in, in herfamily for having the game
between, between like her andher husband.
Right.
There have been times in my lifewhere I have used my powers for,
(19:58):
for, for evil instead of good aswell.
I distinctly remember at onepoint when my high school
boyfriend and I broke up and Irecognized that, um, wow, I
could, I could flirt withsomeone and get their attention
and kind of liked it kind of,kind of liked being in control,
(20:20):
kind of liked having a littlebit of power.
Um, it was a learning experiencefor me because I had never been
in that position before.
And I was like 17 years old andI could just like, you know,
call whoever I wanted and sitnext to whoever I wanted for the
first time in high school,because I'd always had a
(20:40):
boyfriend and I absolutely usedit to my advantage and stirred
up all sorts of trouble.
Are you kidding me?
Little heartbreaker.
That's what happens when, Iguess when you have your own
heart broken though, and you'reyoung, you're figuring stuff
out, right?
I'll cut myself a little bit ofslack, this, uh, this element of
(21:00):
game.
It can, it can be used in, in both like really smart and
sexy and good ways.
And it could be used to justlike, I keep using the word
manipulate and hurt people.
Oh, this is, you know, justanother little facet of dating
that, uh, comes down to like anice, like, we need to find like
(21:23):
a nice balance.
Right.
And whenever I have met a coupleof people when dating that have
had the good kind of game,right, it really does.
I think boil down to just a fewlittle things that they do well,
and you are totally free todisagree with me to each of
(21:47):
their own.
We all like different things andare attracted to different,
different attributes thatpeople, you know, bring to the
table on a date.
But I do think it all startswith texting.
I do.
And by God, that takes effort.
So if you're texting fivedifferent people, my guess is
your game is not very strong oryou're exhausted because that's
(22:08):
a lot to keep up with.
Oh, I think the bestinteractions that I've had are
when I'm not talking to a bunchof different people at the same
time, but maybe I'm really,really into just one person and
we make a real connection andI'm able to put actual time,
(22:28):
attention, thought and energyinto just them.
That's hot.
Like that's when things go well,right.
And you can, you can like lookforward to like something that
makes you smile.
It's like when you pick up yourphone and you do, oh, that's so
cute.
Like that worked.
I like it.
Now I'm telling you, I've beenout here, this go around for
(22:51):
like three years.
Right.
I mean, it hasn't happened verymuch.
There's been like littleglimmers and little, little, you
know, little bits of littlethrills of excitement along the
way, but like really leavinglike a lasting mark.
No, not much, not much at all.
I mean, if I had to dig backinto my, into my, uh, you know,
(23:12):
recent history and it goes allthe way back to John Denver,
that should say somethingbecause he was, I actually dated
him just before, just when mydivorce was finalizing.
So, I mean, that's been aminute, it's kind of, kind of
sad.
It's kind of sad.
But anyway, back to my point, Ithink it starts with your it's
(23:33):
just ability to communicate.
I mean, I mean, I keep relatingback to talking to my
girlfriends about this episodeand getting some feedback from
everyone.
And it's like, we all appreciatea compliment.
We all appreciate, and this goesboth ways and it's not like, oh,
you compliment me.
So now I have to compliment you.
But that true, genuine, sincereflirtation, it typically
(23:59):
revolves around something thatsomeone really likes about you.
Oh, what?
I just remembered another storyI wanted to tell.
So, um, when I was divorced thefirst time from Laney's dad and
I, after a boyfriend and I hadbroken up and I was kind of out
there dating and I had my sightsset on this guy who, I don't
honestly think he was very intome.
He was a few years older.
I was not in a really greatplace, you know, after, after a
(24:22):
breakup.
And I think he knew that.
And so he was really cautiousaround me, but God was I into
him and we did go out like on alittle coffee date.
And it was so interesting to mebecause after we had our little
coffee date and like we textedand talked again, and I don't
remember if this was a long timeago, if, if it was a text
message or an actualconversation, I think it was a
(24:44):
text though.
And he, he complimented all ofthese features about me, that I
considered that things that Iwas insecure about.
Basically he complimented thingsthat I definitely did not see as
strong qualities.
So it was things like my hair.
Okay.
I mean, my hair is like, are youkidding me?
(25:06):
I would die to have mydaughter's hair, a big thick
head of curly hair.
I mean, my hair's like, eh, likewish I had more of it.
You know, whatever.
Like it's not my strong suit.
Like nobody's gonna look at meand be like, oh, you have
beautiful hair, Stacy.
No, I have like, okay.
Hair me, like whatever.
Okay.
I remember he complimented likemy hands and I'm like, are you
(25:26):
joking?
Like I have, like, I have likelittle girl hands.
Like I have really small hands.
Like I don't, there's nothingspecial.
Like I, my friend's daughter.
Oh, I'll just shout out grace.
Grace could be a hand model.
My friend's daughter has abeautiful, like, I don't even, I
mean, seriously hand model, handmodel, hands, like long skinny
fingers, beautiful nails.
(25:47):
Like hand model hands.
I don't have hand model hands.
Why is he complimenting myhands?
Like, if you wanna complimentme, like back then I was 30.
I'm like compliment my body.
Tell me I have pretty eyes.
Like I have my eye.
My eyelashes are real.
I don't do anything to enhancethem, compliment my freaking
eyelashes.
That's like, that would meansomething to me.
Those are the things that Ithink like, I guess to like, to
(26:09):
each their own, why do I keepusing that phrase?
We all find different things.
Beautiful.
And we all find different thingsto celebrate in each other.
So maybe my feelings about thisguy, as I'm saying all this out
loud was because I was justinsecure back then.
I don't know.
Maybe they were honestcompliments and he liked my hair
and he liked my hands.
I don't know, but I, I took itas like insincere or like
(26:32):
seriously, like that's what he,that's what he chooses to like
talk to me about that's sostrange.
I found it to be very weird.
Like, I don't know, but I guessbefore I, I went off on this
tangent, it is a commondenominator, I think for game to
be able to like, make someonefeel special in hopefully a
(26:52):
really sincere and honest wayand to be able to verbalize it
and, and not hold back because Ithink having game I've used the
word, like confidence, a lotballs as my friend said,
confidence, but not arrogance.
Hopefully like that, that goes along way.
(27:14):
I mean, for anyone, like, I tryreally hard if I see someone
like if I'm on a first date andI'm into'em, I absolutely
compliment them.
And I mean it, man, I will findthe things that I like about
him.
And I will say them out loudwith a smile on my face and a
twinkle in my eye because whenI'm smitten, why on earth would
(27:36):
I cover that up?
Like for the right person it'sgonna be received?
Well, I guess you just have towhatever, have it in you to say
it out loud.
And communication's a big pieceof this.
Just being able to say what youmean and not worry about the
consequences, like my friend,you know, I don't have any
panties on that worked.
(28:00):
I just found a couple more notesof, of old, old dates that I
went on that I wanted tomention.
So I went on another coffee date, um, back in the day when I was
around, whatever 30 ish, 31years old, something like that
went on this date with thisolder guy.
And I just found him incrediblysexy.
He was like Italian, dark hair.
(28:22):
Um, the body type, I tend tolike, like, you know, a little
bit taller and thin and fit anddress nice.
Had a good sense of style,whatever.
So we connect, we go out tocoffee, super pleased to meet
him.
I'm pretty freaking amped.
Like I'm excited about this datesitting across from him.
And, um, I remember a few thingsthat he said, and this is so
(28:43):
funny as to what stood out in mymind.
Um, this guy had game, he didand I was into it, uh, when I
probably shouldn't have beenlike, I think he had the, um,
the more of a manipulative game,not a true game, I guess.
And he, oh, I know, actually Iknow because yeah, I got hurt by
(29:04):
him actually after only a coffeedate and a hug, he still managed
to hurt my feelings.
So anyway, we are out on a dateand in the middle of our very
first conversation, uh, face toface, he admitted to me that he
had had a nose job.
So he was kind of talking abouthis ex-wife and I think the nose
(29:25):
job changed some things betweenthem, because my guess is his
confidence went through theroof.
And I don't know, maybe it ledhim astray.
Maybe you hear about thosepeople who like lose a lot of
weight or get a boob job.
And all of a sudden they'resleeping with other people and
high on life and high onthemselves or whatever that guy
kind of gave me that sort ofvibe.
So he's telling me that he'd hada nose job and like, did that
(29:46):
bother me?
Well, no, I don't even know whatyou looked like before.
I like how you look now,whatever.
I don't really give a.
And within the conversation heasked, um, he asked me how I
felt about cosmetic surgery.
And I was like, I mean, I, Idon't know what you mean.
Like I'm, I'm, I don't mind thatyou got a nose job, but my
(30:08):
thought afterwards was is helike hinting that I need
cosmetic surgery?
Like I did not have a boob jobyet.
No, probably got that done abouta year after I met that guy.
And my guess is he was kind offeeling me out because he had
already, uh, sized me up if youwill.
And was like, yeah, that's notreally what I'm looking for.
(30:29):
Wonder if she could bepersuaded.
That is how I took it.
I don't know if that's how hemeant it, but that guy I haven't
thought about in a long time,but he did end up canceling a
date on me.
Like, because he didn't feelgood, like 45 minutes before he
was supposed to show up.
He just, honestly, he bowed outlong story, but he ended up like
(30:54):
pursuing me for months afterthat.
And I had learned enough by thatpoint in my dating life at that
age that I was like, yeah, screwyou and never went out with him.
But, uh, didn't really mean togo there.
But I mean, that was a guy whosegame just felt a little off.
Right?
Not in a, like his game didn'tcome with sincerity or honesty
(31:21):
or, uh, good intentions.
And thankfully, I guess my guttold me that as I'm talking
about game and all of that,there's so many different topics
that are kind of intertwined.
Right?
And like, I think like the artof flirting that is, uh,
probably like a podcast episodethat I need to put together
because that's a big piece ofthis.
(31:42):
It's a big piece of this and Ihave a million different things
to say, but I think if we areaspiring to have game as a man
or a woman, I, it is my opinion,my opinion only, I'm not even
gonna speak for my friends here.
I think it needs to be sexy.
(32:07):
It needs to be fun, sincere,genuine, honest, and played with
good intention.
Yeah.
To me, that is a good game.
And I can't say good gamewithout wanting to like slap
(32:28):
someone on the.
Anybody else?
You know, we're slapping handshere.
Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Aw, good game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how that works as always.
Thank you so much for listeningto episode 52 G game.
Thank you so, so much to mylisteners.
(32:51):
Um, I so appreciate you andpretty please do share the
podcast with a friend or a lovedone.
Someone who you think might geta kick out of it, uh, might be
going through a hard time,separation, divorce, breakup,
whatever.
Uh, hopefully it will bring asmile to their face and up next,
I'll give you the promise of it.
Don't have a title yet.
(33:12):
Uh, something about how, whenyou're single married, people
start coming out of thewoodwork, like hitting on you,
especially on Facebook, socialmedia, stuff like that.
I have stories, my friends havestories and we don't wanna be a
side piece.
Nope.
Just, I think we're just easytargets.
Yeah.
That's what I'm gonna talk aboutnext until then you've got two
(33:35):
weeks to catch up on anyepisodes you've missed.
Welcome to man shopping with Stacy, where I
share my real transparent datingand life experiences for your
amusement and inspiration.
I'm your host, Stacy weer, andyou are listening to season two
episode 52 got game.
(00:21):
In this episode, I'm going totalk about all things game
related, you know, that likeundeniable pole and sexy
attraction that some individualshave mm-hmm
tell some stories from, uh, frommy hometown, from my, um, youth,
(00:42):
as well as maybe some recentdating stories.
And I'm going to share myfriend's point of view.
My girlfriend, she's got a greatexample, um, of a guy who had
game, um, from college and sheshared some really good details
about him.
And then just some really solidpoints about this topic in
(01:04):
general, that I think you guysare really going to appreciate
to begin.
I'm going to share a theory ofmine that I think some people
are just born with game.
Let me share an example with youfrom my youth in my hometown of
Sedalia, Missouri, when mycousin, Mandy and I were fourth
(01:26):
graders at wittier elementary,we met a new boy mm-hmm
had two older brothers and thethree of them.
Well, the three of them werevery, very cute.
They got a lot of attention assoon as they, as soon as they
showed up, you know, at the, uh,playground and the, uh, the
(01:50):
oldest boy was planning abirthday party.
He must have been in like, let'ssay the eighth grade.
And funny enough, he had a thingfor my older cousin, Carmen.
Yeah.
So when he had this birthdayparty of boys and girls over to
the house, there was no doubtthat he was going to be spending
most of his night, like with hisarm hanging around my older
(02:12):
cousin, Carmen, who I totallylooked up to.
Okay.
So this party is in the worksand their parents allowed the
middle and the youngest son toeach invite a friend.
Well, they didn't invite likemaybe a boy from the baseball
team or someone from their likehomeroom class.
(02:32):
Who did they invite?
Hmm, middle son invited mycousin, Mandy and youngest son
invited me.
Mm-hmm
you know, kid party, um, thatdidn't really feel like a kid
(02:53):
party.
Yeah.
I remember when this boy calledmy house and asked if I could
come to his older brother'sbirthday party.
And I distinctly remember my dadbeing like, uh, no,
she can't go.
Um, it's with older kids, a boyinvited her.
She is a fourth grader and thatdoes not seem appropriate.
(03:16):
And then there was like me andmy, um, manipulative convincing
ways, uh, you know, at, uh,whatever I was like, what nine,
10 years old?
I don't even know.
Yeah.
Uh, story of my life.
I Beni pleated with my parentsand got my way.
And most likely since my cousinshad also been invited, that
(03:38):
probably helped my odds, youknow, because like, if my older
cousin was going to be there,then of course it would be like
safe because she could look outfor us.
Right.
So we all show up at this partyand it's basically like couples
dancing in a garage ordownstairs.
I don't really remember that.
Well, but what I do remember wasthe boy that invited me.
(04:02):
He, he was dressed nice.
He looked good.
He had cologne on, he probs hadlike gel in his hair and he was
smooth.
I mean, like we were on a date,like this was a thing when we
danced, he put his hands in myback pockets.
(04:26):
You guys like, this is like,pre-pubescent fourth grade.
What the hell?
This, uh, this is a, this issomething, this is a, this is a
boy who's got game
Yeah.
Um, couple years later, same,same boy, sixth grade roller
(04:48):
rink.
Mm-hmm
It was just a, you know, casuallittle smooch smooch on the
lips, but I mean, that counts,right?
Yeah.
Him, I think, I think he was,think he was born with game
funny enough, after all theseyears and all this stuff that's
happened in all of our livesthat boy, this boy with the
(05:11):
game, he's married to a girl whomay just have like the best game
of all this like straightshooting, like sharp tongue
smart, funny ferocious femalefriend of mine.
(05:37):
match as they have been marriedfor a long time.
Now I think how funny is thatthough?
Like fourth grade?
I mean, I could also speak abouta little fourth grader that I
nannied while I was in college.
Um, boy, do I love this familythat I NAD for in college?
I think I've, I think I'vetalked about them on this, uh,
podcast before, but they reallymade like a huge impression on
(06:01):
me and kinda shaped the womanthat I wanted to be and the type
of mother that I wanted to be.
But boy, at funny, looking backthat their oldest, um, their
son, oh my gosh, total game.
I mean talk about the gel andthe hair and the cologne.
He was all about it.
I remember dropping him off atthe swimming pool, um, one
(06:24):
summer and I mean, everyone wasshouting his name, like, come
over here, come be, Hey, youknow, waving, cuz they were just
all so happy to see this kidthat just had it, you know, that
it factor that undeniable likesmoother than silk, like hot,
(06:46):
something about them just drewattention.
You know, the boys I'm talkingabout now were like confident.
They weren't arrogant.
You know, they, they just hadthis sway about them.
They just carried themselveswith just ultimate ultimate
confidence.
Right.
Well, it's funny how thattranslates as we get older and
(07:10):
things get more complicated andyou know, hopefully we get a
little wiser and a little bitmore worldly, but I don't know
if that's true.
I feel like this, like it factorthis, this game.
I mean, I'm just gonna go aheadand point out.
One of the things that mygirlfriends talked about was
how, when you say game, italmost always is related to a
(07:32):
guy.
Right?
He's got game.
Oh my God is he have such gameit's never really used in like a
female connotation, which isinteresting.
But I will say like obviouslythe, the game gets a little bit
more intricate and manipulative.
(07:52):
It, it doesn't necessarily meanin a bad way, but um, just a
little bit more savvy as we, youknow, get to be more mature.
Right.
So in dating as an adult, I'veexperienced game, like really
(08:14):
solid game.
Like a couple of times
It's one of my biggestcomplaints in dating.
Um, as an adult, like later inlife with my girlfriends, I'm
like, oh my gosh, like, youknow, this guy's a box checker.
He is great on paper andwhatever.
And then we go out and it'slike, I'm at a freaking like
(08:37):
business interview.
Everything's buttoned up.
It's it's um, professional, youknow, it doesn't feel like the
guy's into me at all.
There's no compliments.
There's no flattery.
There's no touching my hand ormy shoulder or God forbid my
thigh.
Like, it just isn't happening.
There's no kiss.
There's no spark.
(08:58):
There's no nothing.
That guy does not have game.
That's been a big complaint ofmine over the course of time.
And even like in FaceTimes, likethat I've had with men from out
of town, I'm like, uh, yeah, Ijust don't feel it.
Like, there's just nothingthere.
Like nothing drawing me to him.
And likewise, I have found thatabout myself.
(09:22):
I mean, I I've said thismultiple times.
My girlfriends have, oftentimeswhen I get back from a date that
I tell them felt more like abusiness interview, they'll be
like, yeah, but did you flirtwith him?
No,
Well, Hey, guess what if I aminto a guy you better believe
(09:43):
they know it.
You better believe it becausethere's no way that I am not
going to make it blatantlyobvious that I'm into someone
I'm really into.
So I'm gonna give you anotherexample of a guy who's got game
and it's a little bit morenuanced than like splashing on
CK one and you know, um,smooching me at the roller rink.
(10:04):
So this guy, um, definitely hasthe largest chapter of man
shopping with Stacy the book.
And I call him John Denver
had it, he had that little bitof game that I have an
appreciation for he'sspontaneous.
(10:26):
He was pretty impulsive.
Uh, one of the first things thatI noticed, which we all do, if
you have, you know, whateverdone some online, dating what?
I talked with chatted withsomeone, he was great at
texting.
He was witty.
He was quick.
He was, uh, he made me laugh andI understood what he was trying
(10:46):
to say without having to askquestions, which means he was
direct, right?
Direct, funny, witty.
We had great banter back andforth.
We just kind of got each otherand he was flirty and I liked
it.
You know, some of the otherthings that he did was he was
super adoring and complimentary,like not over the top.
And he knew I was into him.
(11:07):
So it was safe.
Like he wasn't gonna like pushme away or come on eager to
strong.
Like I liked it aside from likejust flattering me.
around my waist, opened doors,called me pet names a lot.
(11:29):
And like early on, early on oneof the other points that my
friend made, I guess what I'mdoing here is just weaving in my
friends, my friends, um,examples and experiences too.
She's like, she's like, is itgame?
Or is it just having balls?
Like, is it just having theconfidence to say what you mean?
(11:51):
And to put it out there andjust, just let it be known that
you like someone.
Cause I mean, the opposite oflike having game in my opinion
is playing games.
You know, being coy, not textingback for three days, ignoring
you for hours on end when youknow, you know, good and well,
their phone is right there infront of'em and they're choosing
(12:14):
to not text you back playinggames.
Hmm.
Does not equate to someone whohas got game.
No, someone who has game hasballs.
Right.
And you know, that earlier pointthat I made about like, it's
almost always like in referenceto a man he's got game, dude,
(12:34):
let me tell you about my friend.
She's got some game
telling me she's like, uh, funnything.
I married a guy who really hasno game.
This is what I love.
She said, no, he doesn't, hedoesn't have any game.
I'm pretty sure I'm the one whohad the game because she's like,
you know, kind of aggressive andclear, direct and to the point
(12:58):
and flirty and super sexual.
But she's like, no, my husbandreally doesn't have game.
He has manners.
Mm-hmm
Like that works.
That totally works.
You know, talking about thesubject with some of my other
girlfriends.
It's funny, we came up with acouple very, very similar guys.
(13:19):
There were very obvious sharedtraits between a couple of guys
that we could both relate to.
So one of these guys, the guythat I told about, I don't even
know him.
Okay.
He's several years older thanme.
I know of him.
Right.
Because I mean, I mean, he'ssomething
(13:40):
looking guy, tall fit, athletic,really great basketball player.
Well, liked smiled a lot.
Carried himself with a lot ofconfidence.
I don't know.
Maybe ego, maybe not.
I don't know.
I don't know him personally.
What I do know is he has severalchildren by several different
women.
And he did like when we werereally young, so a lot of women
(14:04):
wanted to be his baby mama alot.
So in sharing his story, I had afriend pipe up and like, oh my
gosh, I can totally relate tothat.
She's like, and this takes alittle bit of a different spin.
So hang with me.
This isn't just a guy who likeknows how to flirt.
Like this is a guy with someserious gain that doesn't really
make sense or add up.
So she told this story of thisguy from college.
(14:26):
Right.
And she's like, so there's thisguy, um, Atoo.
Right.
And he was tall.
Okay.
Tall, common denominator, Iguess.
I don't know.
Really thin waist like toned fit.
Not necessarily overly like goodlooking, not too much of a
(14:48):
pretty boy.
And it wasn't even like hedressed, well, he kind of what
she said
okay.
So an unemployed young manhanging out in a college town,
but he didn't actually even goto college.
Okay.
So she was at Mizzou, but thisguy was not, he just kind of was
at some of the parties and likehanging out in some of the same
(15:11):
circles.
All right.
So interestingly enough, she'slike this, you know, kinda
average looking guy, uh, got allthe girls and it just, it made
you kind of wonder, right?
He was mysterious.
He had this air about him.
She's like, he didn't evenflirt.
He just gave a sexy look.
(15:32):
He didn't even have to try.
So like in talking to her abouthim, we kind of decided that it
was like reputation.
Right.
It's like, I heard he's gotgame.
Never felt it for myself, butgood God when he looked at me,
(15:55):
uh, yeah, I felt it.
Right.
So my friend decided that sheneeded some of that because I
mean, I don't know.
There were some other, likereally awesome girls who had
been with him and she's like,yeah, there's gotta be something
to it and leave it to my friendto figure it out.
So she was at a college bar atMizzou and he was there and you
(16:18):
know, non-college student atwhatever, jobless, homeless, I
don't know at the, at the bar.
And she walks up to him.
Uh, this friend has game.
This is what she said now,little cutter, some slack,
because she was like, you know,21 or something.
She's like, I don't have anypanties on.
I mean, that's a line.
(16:39):
I, I think she's got game.
And I think it worked, actually,I know it worked.
So, you know, they go back toher place, whatever.
And she's like, alright, nowwe're gonna figure this out.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
Like, oh my God, this guy musthave like, in her words, a 10
inch long, cuz that's what shesaid.
That's what she said.
(17:01):
Um, so they have sex and she'slike, okay, so what like average
penis, average sex, not bad, youknow, but not like freaking mind
blowing, not, not worthy of thekind of reputation that this guy
had out and about at Mizzou.
Like what the hell, what gives,like how did he do that?
(17:22):
How did he do that?
I don't know.
I kind of think sometimes if aguy, a mediocre guy dates a or,
or vice versa, right.
Dates a a really special, reallygreat girl.
Like other people, like theirperception is that he's better
than he is or she's better thanshe is.
I don't know.
Doesn't make sense.
(17:43):
Psychology people.
I don't know what it was, butthat guy had game.
And my friend, um, she had had adisappointment is what she had.
I don't know about you, but Ifound, I find it kind of
interesting.
The, the different connotationswe have for like game.
Like sometimes it's just likesex appeal like that.
(18:03):
Like I said, it factor, right?
Like, I mean there, um,confident they look good, they
smell good.
They know how to touch you.
They know what to say.
They know how to push yourbuttons and, and all of that.
And you could equate that tohaving game, I guess, or there's
this complete opposite Mo where,where someone like plays coy.
(18:28):
Right.
They, they don't even have totry.
They just sit back and like givea wink, look across the room.
They're just there.
And you've heard yourgirlfriends chatter about them
or they have this reputation orthey just, they have some sense
(18:49):
of mystery about them.
That just makes you wonder thatyou like have to find out for
yourself.
I don't know.
It's strange.
It's strange when you likecompare and contrast the
different types of game thatpeople have.
But you know, like I mentionedearlier, like there's a
difference between having gameand playing game.
Right.
But in conversations with mygirlfriends, we did tend to
(19:13):
think that men who have a reallystrong game often are the ones
who have hurt us.
They use their powers for eviland not for good, uh, sad, but
true.
I mean, definitely I've been thevictim of that.
(19:37):
me, but you know, what kind oflike my friend was like kinda
taking the credit in, in herfamily for having the game
between, between like her andher husband.
Right.
There have been times in my lifewhere I have used my powers for,
(19:58):
for, for evil instead of good aswell.
I distinctly remember at onepoint when my high school
boyfriend and I broke up and Irecognized that, um, wow, I
could, I could flirt withsomeone and get their attention
and kind of liked it kind of,kind of liked being in control,
(20:20):
kind of liked having a littlebit of power.
Um, it was a learning experiencefor me because I had never been
in that position before.
And I was like 17 years old andI could just like, you know,
call whoever I wanted and sitnext to whoever I wanted for the
first time in high school,because I'd always had a
(20:40):
boyfriend and I absolutely usedit to my advantage and stirred
up all sorts of trouble.
Are you kidding me?
Little heartbreaker.
That's what happens when, Iguess when you have your own
heart broken though, and you'reyoung, you're figuring stuff
out, right?
I'll cut myself a little bit ofslack, this, uh, this element of
(21:00):
game.
It can, it can be used
sexy and good ways.
And it could be used to justlike, I keep using the word
manipulate and hurt people.
Oh, this is, you know, justanother little facet of dating
that, uh, comes down to like anice, like, we need to find like
(21:23):
a nice balance.
Right.
And whenever I have met a coupleof people when dating that have
had the good kind of game,right, it really does.
I think boil down to just a fewlittle things that they do well,
and you are totally free todisagree with me to each of
(21:47):
their own.
We all like different things andare attracted to different,
different attributes thatpeople, you know, bring to the
table on a date.
But I do think it all startswith texting.
I do.
And by God, that takes effort.
So if you're texting fivedifferent people, my guess is
your game is not very strong oryou're exhausted because that's
(22:08):
a lot to keep up with.
Oh, I think the bestinteractions that I've had are
when I'm not talking to a bunchof different people at the same
time, but maybe I'm really,really into just one person and
we make a real connection andI'm able to put actual time,
(22:28):
attention, thought and energyinto just them.
That's hot.
Like that's when things go well,right.
And you can, you can like lookforward to like something that
makes you smile.
It's like when you pick up yourphone and you do, oh, that's so
cute.
Like that worked.
I like it.
Now I'm telling you, I've beenout here, this go around for
(22:51):
like three years.
Right.
I mean, it hasn't happened verymuch.
There's been like littleglimmers and little, little, you
know, little bits of littlethrills of excitement along the
way, but like really leavinglike a lasting mark.
No, not much, not much at all.
I mean, if I had to dig backinto my, into my, uh, you know,
(23:12):
recent history and it goes allthe way back to John Denver,
that should say somethingbecause he was, I actually dated
him just before, just when mydivorce was finalizing.
So, I mean, that's been aminute, it's kind of, kind of
sad.
It's kind of sad.
But anyway, back to my point, Ithink it starts with your it's
(23:33):
just ability to communicate.
I mean, I mean, I keep relatingback to talking to my
girlfriends about this episodeand getting some feedback from
everyone.
And it's like, we all appreciatea compliment.
We all appreciate, and this goesboth ways and it's not like, oh,
you compliment me.
So now I have to compliment you.
But that true, genuine, sincereflirtation, it typically
(23:59):
revolves around something thatsomeone really likes about you.
Oh, what?
I just remembered another storyI wanted to tell.
So, um, when I was divorced thefirst time from Laney's dad and
I, after a boyfriend and I hadbroken up and I was kind of out
there dating and I had my sightsset on this guy who, I don't
honestly think he was very intome.
He was a few years older.
I was not in a really greatplace, you know, after, after a
(24:22):
breakup.
And I think he knew that.
And so he was really cautiousaround me, but God was I into
him and we did go out like on alittle coffee date.
And it was so interesting to mebecause after we had our little
coffee date and like we textedand talked again, and I don't
remember if this was a long timeago, if, if it was a text
message or an actualconversation, I think it was a
(24:44):
text though.
And he, he complimented all ofthese features about me, that I
considered that things that Iwas insecure about.
Basically he complimented thingsthat I definitely did not see as
strong qualities.
So it was things like my hair.
Okay.
I mean, my hair is like, are youkidding me?
(25:06):
I would die to have mydaughter's hair, a big thick
head of curly hair.
I mean, my hair's like, eh, likewish I had more of it.
You know, whatever.
Like it's not my strong suit.
Like nobody's gonna look at meand be like, oh, you have
beautiful hair, Stacy.
No, I have like, okay.
Hair me, like whatever.
Okay.
I remember he complimented likemy hands and I'm like, are you
(25:26):
joking?
Like I have, like, I have likelittle girl hands.
Like I have really small hands.
Like I don't, there's nothingspecial.
Like I, my friend's daughter.
Oh, I'll just shout out grace.
Grace could be a hand model.
My friend's daughter has abeautiful, like, I don't even, I
mean, seriously hand model, handmodel, hands, like long skinny
fingers, beautiful nails.
(25:47):
Like hand model hands.
I don't have hand model hands.
Why is he complimenting myhands?
Like, if you wanna complimentme, like back then I was 30.
I'm like compliment my body.
Tell me I have pretty eyes.
Like I have my eye.
My eyelashes are real.
I don't do anything to enhancethem, compliment my freaking
eyelashes.
That's like, that would meansomething to me.
Those are the things that Ithink like, I guess to like, to
(26:09):
each their own, why do I keepusing that phrase?
We all find different things.
Beautiful.
And we all find different thingsto celebrate in each other.
So maybe my feelings about thisguy, as I'm saying all this out
loud was because I was justinsecure back then.
I don't know.
Maybe they were honestcompliments and he liked my hair
and he liked my hands.
I don't know, but I, I took itas like insincere or like
(26:32):
seriously, like that's what he,that's what he chooses to like
talk to me about that's sostrange.
I found it to be very weird.
Like, I don't know, but I guessbefore I, I went off on this
tangent, it is a commondenominator, I think for game to
be able to like, make someonefeel special in hopefully a
(26:52):
really sincere and honest wayand to be able to verbalize it
and, and not hold back because Ithink having game I've used the
word, like confidence, a lotballs as my friend said,
confidence, but not arrogance.
Hopefully like that, that goes along way.
(27:14):
I mean, for anyone, like, I tryreally hard if I see someone
like if I'm on a first date andI'm into'em, I absolutely
compliment them.
And I mean it, man, I will findthe things that I like about
him.
And I will say them out loudwith a smile on my face and a
twinkle in my eye because whenI'm smitten, why on earth would
(27:36):
I cover that up?
Like for the right person it'sgonna be received?
Well, I guess you just have towhatever, have it in you to say
it out loud.
And communication's a big pieceof this.
Just being able to say what youmean and not worry about the
consequences, like my friend,you know, I don't have any
panties on that worked.
(28:00):
I just found a couple more notesof, of old, old dates that I
went on that I wanted tomention.
So I went on another coffee date, um, back in the day when I was
around, whatever 30 ish, 31years old, something like that
went on this date with thisolder guy.
And I just found him incrediblysexy.
He was like Italian, dark hair.
(28:22):
Um, the body type, I tend tolike, like, you know, a little
bit taller and thin and fit anddress nice.
Had a good sense of style,whatever.
So we connect, we go out tocoffee, super pleased to meet
him.
I'm pretty freaking amped.
Like I'm excited about this datesitting across from him.
And, um, I remember a few thingsthat he said, and this is so
(28:43):
funny as to what stood out in mymind.
Um, this guy had game, he didand I was into it, uh, when I
probably shouldn't have beenlike, I think he had the, um,
the more of a manipulative game,not a true game, I guess.
And he, oh, I know, actually Iknow because yeah, I got hurt by
(29:04):
him actually after only a coffeedate and a hug, he still managed
to hurt my feelings.
So anyway, we are out on a dateand in the middle of our very
first conversation, uh, face toface, he admitted to me that he
had had a nose job.
So he was kind of talking abouthis ex-wife and I think the nose
(29:25):
job changed some things betweenthem, because my guess is his
confidence went through theroof.
And I don't know, maybe it ledhim astray.
Maybe you hear about thosepeople who like lose a lot of
weight or get a boob job.
And all of a sudden they'resleeping with other people and
high on life and high onthemselves or whatever that guy
kind of gave me that sort ofvibe.
So he's telling me that he'd hada nose job and like, did that
(29:46):
bother me?
Well, no, I don't even know whatyou looked like before.
I like how you look now,whatever.
I don't really give a.
And within the conversation heasked, um, he asked me how I
felt about cosmetic surgery.
And I was like, I mean, I, Idon't know what you mean.
Like I'm, I'm, I don't mind thatyou got a nose job, but my
(30:08):
thought afterwards was is helike hinting that I need
cosmetic surgery?
Like I did not have a boob jobyet.
No, probably got that done abouta year after I met that guy.
And my guess is he was kind offeeling me out because he had
already, uh, sized me up if youwill.
And was like, yeah, that's notreally what I'm looking for.
(30:29):
Wonder if she could bepersuaded.
That is how I took it.
I don't know if that's how hemeant it, but that guy I haven't
thought about in a long time,but he did end up canceling a
date on me.
Like, because he didn't feelgood, like 45 minutes before he
was supposed to show up.
He just, honestly, he bowed outlong story, but he ended up like
(30:54):
pursuing me for months afterthat.
And I had learned enough by thatpoint in my dating life at that
age that I was like, yeah, screwyou and never went out with him.
But, uh, didn't really mean togo there.
But I mean, that was a guy whosegame just felt a little off.
Right?
Not in a, like his game didn'tcome with sincerity or honesty
(31:21):
or, uh, good intentions.
And thankfully, I guess my guttold me that as I'm talking
about game and all of that,there's so many different topics
that are kind of intertwined.
Right?
And like, I think like the artof flirting that is, uh,
probably like a podcast episodethat I need to put together
because that's a big piece ofthis.
(31:42):
It's a big piece of this and Ihave a million different things
to say, but I think if we areaspiring to have game as a man
or a woman, I, it is my opinion,my opinion only, I'm not even
gonna speak for my friends here.
I think it needs to be sexy.
(32:07):
It needs to be fun, sincere,genuine, honest, and played with
good intention.
Yeah.
To me, that is a good game.
And I can't say good gamewithout wanting to like slap
(32:28):
someone on the.
Anybody else?
You know, we're slapping handshere.
Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Aw, good game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how that works as always.
Thank you so much for listeningto episode 52 G game.
Thank you so, so much to mylisteners.
(32:51):
Um, I so appreciate you andpretty please do share the
podcast with a friend or a lovedone.
Someone who you think might geta kick out of it, uh, might be
going through a hard time,separation, divorce, breakup,
whatever.
Uh, hopefully it will bring asmile to their face and up next,
I'll give you the promise of it.
Don't have a title yet.
(33:12):
Uh, something about how, whenyou're single married, people
start coming out of thewoodwork, like hitting on you,
especially on Facebook, socialmedia, stuff like that.
I have stories, my friends havestories and we don't wanna be a
side piece.
Nope.
Just, I think we're just easytargets.
Yeah.
That's what I'm gonna talk aboutnext until then you've got two
(33:35):
weeks to catch up on anyepisodes you've missed.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.