August 27, 2025 • 12 mins
Most men set goals but never hit them because they miss three essentials: structure, sacrifice and standards. In this episode, Lachlan Stuart shares the late-night marathon training story that proves why goals demand more than good intentions.
Listen now to Man That Can with Lachie Stuart and learn the skill of goal setting that actually delivers.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lachlan Stuart (00:00):
Goals don't just require intention.
They require structure,sacrifice and standards.
So last night I got home fromwork at 8pm, the last thing I
felt like doing was going for myrun.
One of the goals that I'd setfor myself is training for this
Melbourne Marathon, which isactually in seven weeks, and I
have a very specific programthat I need to follow and I need
(00:21):
to make sure that I'm gettingit done.
And part of that means that youknow I need to structure, which
I do.
It's going to require sacrifice, which it has, and there is a
certain set of standards that Ineed to have in order to achieve
that.
So the challenge that a lot ofpeople face, that they don't
think about when setting goals,is it is a skill set to be able
to set a goal, because not onlyare you turning a dream or an
(00:42):
idea into something that you cantangibly work towards, meaning
you have a plan.
Many people try to stack anumber of goals from different
domains of life all on top ofeach other without having
developed that skill.
So, for example, I see peoplewho are like, oh, I want to grow
my business, I want to trainfor a marathon and I want to set
(01:04):
some other ridiculous goal.
When they do that, they haven'tactually developed the skill in
order to be able to achievethat.
So what then happens is theyget overwhelmed, they don't have
the skills and they don't havewhat it requires in terms of the
structure, they don't have whatit requires in terms of the
sacrifice and they don't havethe personal standards to
maintain what they need to inorder to deliver a great outcome
(01:27):
.
So, if that sounds like you, Iwant to talk to you today
because this is an important one.
Last night, so I roll in at 8pmand it is extremely late for me.
I normally am in bed byprobably closer to probably nine
.
I'm in bed, and so, as I'mfinishing up the workday, the
reason why I chose to stay inthe office later was there's
some things, I'm in bed and so,as I'm finishing up the workday,
the reason why I chose to stayin the office later was there's
(01:47):
some things that I'm workingtowards and there's a goal that
I've set, and so, therefore, Ihave structure, I've had to make
sacrifice and I've had to makestandards.
I maintain standards.
So when I was sitting in theoffice, I'm like okay, I need to
fit my training session in.
However, I need to finish thistask.
It is urgent that I finish thistask so that Daneithi, who's my
virtual assistant, she can goon with it and continue doing
(02:10):
what needs to be done there.
I have to finish that today.
So how do I do that?
I had to move a few thingsaround, and on a Thursday I
don't like to train in themorning because it's a day where
I generally see sorry, tuesdayand Thursday are the days that I
see more clients.
Therefore, I know that if Ibelt myself in the morning on a
big training session, let's justsay I'm not as intelligent.
(02:34):
Let's say that, no, I'm not asclued in.
So I try to move my trainingsessions around and train after
work on those days, just so itdoesn't impact how I'm showing
up at work from a coachingstandpoint.
So in terms of structure, Ihave to move things around, but
because I was running behind ona few things, I had to make that
sacrifice.
I had to say okay, instead oftraining at four o'clock, like I
(02:57):
had in my diary, I needed toget this stuff done so I didn't
have to come back into theoffice.
It was tough to think aboutdoing that because I have this
standard in my relationship,like in my personal life, where
I like to be home by sort offive, later six, so that I can
cook dinner with my wife, we cancatch up, and then we can watch
a film or just hang out, playcards, whatever it is.
(03:18):
And when I realized that I hadto sacrifice something, I
thought, okay, well, what are myoptions?
You know we've got differentdomains of life and if any of
you have done the seven domainscorecard, you'll know what they
are.
But so thinking, okay, well,can I sacrifice sleep?
Yeah, I can sacrifice sleep.
Can I sacrifice in myrelationship?
Well, if I communicateeffectively with Amy she knows
(03:41):
what I'm working towards thenpotentially, yeah, I can.
Can I sacrifice my trainingsession?
The goal is seven weeks away.
I can't afford to skip asession because then I have to
find time to make it up and asit was a Tuesday, it was going
to be hard to do.
So I realized I couldn't dothat.
I had to get that done at somepoint.
Could I sacrifice work?
Well, yes, but it would haveput me 24 hours behind where I
(04:04):
needed to be, because my VAworks another couple of hours
after that.
So I needed to have that taskdone to give her a bit of
structure.
So I thought, okay, well, let'sjust stay a bit later, get that
done and then we'll pass thatoff.
So the purpose being of thisoverall thing is I want you to
think about structure, sacrificeand standards.
(04:24):
So let's talk about structure.
Firstly, when you set one goaland I know I was talking about
multiple goals, but let's justtalk about one goal the power of
a plan is what makes a goal gofrom an idea or a dream into
something that you can buildtowards.
Because when you have this plan, you realize pretty quickly
what you need to say no to.
Because there's going to be somany distractions in your life
(04:48):
that if you say yes toeverything, or if you don't
guard your focus, you will fallbehind, you'll lose time, and if
you are finding yourself withnot enough time, then maybe you
haven't planned things outaccordingly.
And that's where goal settinghas this skill set, because it's
not just about setting a goalto do something, it's also being
(05:08):
aware of the distractions andthe things that get in your way.
So, when you're thinking aboutstructuring things, think about
how you plan time, what actionsyou plan and what distractions
that you need to eliminate areBecause if you get clear on that
, it's going to be a lot easierfor you to focus on what needs
to happen, because the next stepis just putting in your
(05:30):
calendar, putting in the thingsthat you believe are going to
move you towards the outcome.
So for me at the moment, a goalfor the marathons is I want to
do a sub three hour marathon inMelbourne.
I have a training program thatI need to follow and I'm
following it to a T, because Ibelieve that if I do that, I'm
doing everything within my powerto give the best result.
(05:50):
But on top of that, I'm makingsure I sleep well, I'm making
sure that I eat well and I'mmaking sure that I'm removing as
much stress from my life aspossible, because that all
impacts performance.
Another goal that I have ismoving my business to over half
a million a year and doing thatworking on the things that I
love.
So, rather than having to doeverything, I've got support.
(06:13):
So every time I hit a bottle, abit of a, a bottleneck, I'm
brain dumping it onto mondaycomand then I'm using an AI agent
that I've set up to help me go.
Okay.
This is the thing that I wantsolved or a standard operating
procedure that I need created.
Put it in here and then I cangive it to Danithi, who's my
(06:34):
virtual assistant, who can thenstart implementing that.
So, just in the last 24 hours,she's redoing where all my
clients work set up.
We're getting out a new diarythat she's updated that will be
put on amazoncom.
She's gone through, with a finetooth comb, my coaching program
to work out which where'sthere's gaps and how we can make
things better From thatstandpoint.
(06:55):
She's uploaded our scorecards,which will be available to you
guys soon, probably tonight, andthen she's done the email
follow-ups on that.
So, because that would havebeen something that I would have
normally had to have done, Iwouldn't be doing this video
right now.
So I know she's taking care ofthat.
I still got to give the tick ofapproval, but I've then just
scaled time, which is going tomove me towards being able to
(07:16):
focus on the things thatgenerate the most revenue, the
things that I enjoy and thethings that are client-facing,
which is coaching and speaking.
So that's another goal that Ihave.
Another goal that I have aswell.
A third one is starting afamily, so that's a really
important one.
We're going through IVF.
For those of you who've beenfollowing me long enough, you
understand that journey.
(07:36):
So a couple of goals that we'reworking on.
So for you listening, firstly,do you feel confident in setting
goals?
And to help you answer thatmore accurately do you set goals
and achieve them regularly, ordo you set goals and never
achieve them?
That's going to help youunderstand where you sit with
that, because then you mighthave to go hey, maybe the reason
(07:58):
why I'm not achieving my goalsis I just don't understand
really how to set goals properly.
Okay, the next thing we want totalk about is sacrifice.
Sacrifice is the price of goalsetting.
You can't have everything, andif you want something bad enough
, you have to make thesacrifices.
Last night I got home, all Iwanted to do was eat dinner and
(08:19):
sit on the couch.
That's all I wanted, but Icouldn't do it because I had to
make the sacrifice to go train,because that was a goal that
I've achieved and I want theoutcome.
I want the sub three hourmarathon.
I love proving to myself thatI'm capable of more than I
thought, and I also have astandard, which I'll talk about
in a moment, but that I just ifI commit to doing something.
(08:41):
I have this standard thatupholds the actions that deliver
that outcome right.
So I guess goals for somethingfor you to think about as well.
Goals require trade-off andoften the trade-off is either
time, it's comfort, money orenergy.
So think about what is thetrade-off or what is the
sacrifice that you maypotentially have to make for a
(09:03):
new goal or you are currentlyhaving to make for one of the
goals that you're workingtowards today, because if you
get clear on that, it's going tomake you or put you in the
position to be able to preparefor it, which is a great
position to be in.
And, as I was talking about atthe beginning, which is probably
where I went on a little bit ofa tangent is when you have
(09:23):
multiple goals, it makes thingsmore complicated.
So if you don't have systemswhich I'm only just getting
better at if you don't haveexperience in goal setting, if
you don't have the right supportand structure, then my belief
is, if you just focus on onegoal at a time, and let's say
you have four or three or four12-week goals over the space of
(09:45):
12 months, your life can bepretty significantly different.
If you want more than that.
You've got to earn the right todo that through creating
leverage and systems andprocesses and all of that sort
of stuff.
So think about that.
The final thing standards soimportant, but you've got to
choose standards over feelings,because if you only do things
(10:07):
when you're motivated, you'revery rarely going to do things
right.
I'm sure you've experienced.
When you're motivated and youset the goal, you get super
inspired and you're like I canachieve anything.
I've been there.
But what happens a couple ofdays later, or even, if not
hours, the dip, the motivationgoes, life gets in the way, the
distractions pop up and if youdon't follow your, if you don't
(10:31):
follow your or maintain yourstandards, you're not going to
do the things you're required todo when you need to do them.
So think about it like thisFeelings are unreliable drivers.
To achieve what you want, youneed to anchor standards for
progress.
So when you say to yourself I'msetting this goal to run a
(10:57):
marathon, here's the plan.
A standard of my plan is I donot skip a session.
Therefore, that when I don'tfeel like doing the session,
I've got to maintain thatstandard.
I said I would do it.
Therefore, I will do it, andthat can go across all areas of
life.
It doesn't matter what domainyou have set the goal in.
There's still going to bestructure required, there's
going to be sacrifices that youneed to make and there are going
(11:18):
to be standards that you needto have.
So something for you to thinkabout.
What is a goal that you'reworking towards?
And if you don't have a goal atthe moment, get one.
I don't see why you wouldn'thave one.
What's the structure you needto have in order to achieve that
?
What sacrifices are you goingto have to make in order to
achieve that?
And what standards do you needto have that are going to hold
(11:40):
you and drive you above how youfeel on any given day?
Because last night, for me,wasn't about the 10k that I ran.
It was proving that standardslead, not my emotions.
My name is Lachlan Stewart.
If you got value from this,thank you for tuning in.
Drop some comments belowwherever you're listening to it,
and make sure you head over tothemanthatcanproject.
(12:00):
com to take one of ourscorecards.
That can help you see where youmay potentially fall.
In short, or you're drifting inyour own life.
Goals don't just require intention.
They require structure,sacrifice and standards.
So last night I got home fromwork at 8pm, the last thing I
felt like doing was going for myrun.
One of the goals that I'd setfor myself is training for this
Melbourne Marathon, which isactually in seven weeks, and I
have a very specific programthat I need to follow and I need
(00:21):
to make sure that I'm gettingit done.
And part of that means that youknow I need to structure, which
I do.
It's going to require sacrifice, which it has, and there is a
certain set of standards that Ineed to have in order to achieve
that.
So the challenge that a lot ofpeople face, that they don't
think about when setting goals,is it is a skill set to be able
to set a goal, because not onlyare you turning a dream or an
(00:42):
idea into something that you cantangibly work towards, meaning
you have a plan.
Many people try to stack anumber of goals from different
domains of life all on top ofeach other without having
developed that skill.
So, for example, I see peoplewho are like, oh, I want to grow
my business, I want to trainfor a marathon and I want to set
(01:04):
some other ridiculous goal.
When they do that, they haven'tactually developed the skill in
order to be able to achievethat.
So what then happens is theyget overwhelmed, they don't have
the skills and they don't havewhat it requires in terms of the
structure, they don't have whatit requires in terms of the
sacrifice and they don't havethe personal standards to
maintain what they need to inorder to deliver a great outcome
(01:27):
.
So, if that sounds like you, Iwant to talk to you today
because this is an important one.
Last night, so I roll in at 8pmand it is extremely late for me.
I normally am in bed byprobably closer to probably nine
.
I'm in bed, and so, as I'mfinishing up the workday, the
reason why I chose to stay inthe office later was there's
some things, I'm in bed and so,as I'm finishing up the workday,
the reason why I chose to stayin the office later was there's
(01:47):
some things that I'm workingtowards and there's a goal that
I've set, and so, therefore, Ihave structure, I've had to make
sacrifice and I've had to makestandards.
I maintain standards.
So when I was sitting in theoffice, I'm like okay, I need to
fit my training session in.
However, I need to finish thistask.
It is urgent that I finish thistask so that Daneithi, who's my
virtual assistant, she can goon with it and continue doing
(02:10):
what needs to be done there.
I have to finish that today.
So how do I do that?
I had to move a few thingsaround, and on a Thursday I
don't like to train in themorning because it's a day where
I generally see sorry, tuesdayand Thursday are the days that I
see more clients.
Therefore, I know that if Ibelt myself in the morning on a
big training session, let's justsay I'm not as intelligent.
(02:34):
Let's say that, no, I'm not asclued in.
So I try to move my trainingsessions around and train after
work on those days, just so itdoesn't impact how I'm showing
up at work from a coachingstandpoint.
So in terms of structure, Ihave to move things around, but
because I was running behind ona few things, I had to make that
sacrifice.
I had to say okay, instead oftraining at four o'clock, like I
(02:57):
had in my diary, I needed toget this stuff done so I didn't
have to come back into theoffice.
It was tough to think aboutdoing that because I have this
standard in my relationship,like in my personal life, where
I like to be home by sort offive, later six, so that I can
cook dinner with my wife, we cancatch up, and then we can watch
a film or just hang out, playcards, whatever it is.
(03:18):
And when I realized that I hadto sacrifice something, I
thought, okay, well, what are myoptions?
You know we've got differentdomains of life and if any of
you have done the seven domainscorecard, you'll know what they
are.
But so thinking, okay, well,can I sacrifice sleep?
Yeah, I can sacrifice sleep.
Can I sacrifice in myrelationship?
Well, if I communicateeffectively with Amy she knows
(03:41):
what I'm working towards thenpotentially, yeah, I can.
Can I sacrifice my trainingsession?
The goal is seven weeks away.
I can't afford to skip asession because then I have to
find time to make it up and asit was a Tuesday, it was going
to be hard to do.
So I realized I couldn't dothat.
I had to get that done at somepoint.
Could I sacrifice work?
Well, yes, but it would haveput me 24 hours behind where I
(04:04):
needed to be, because my VAworks another couple of hours
after that.
So I needed to have that taskdone to give her a bit of
structure.
So I thought, okay, well, let'sjust stay a bit later, get that
done and then we'll pass thatoff.
So the purpose being of thisoverall thing is I want you to
think about structure, sacrificeand standards.
(04:24):
So let's talk about structure.
Firstly, when you set one goaland I know I was talking about
multiple goals, but let's justtalk about one goal the power of
a plan is what makes a goal gofrom an idea or a dream into
something that you can buildtowards.
Because when you have this plan, you realize pretty quickly
what you need to say no to.
Because there's going to be somany distractions in your life
(04:48):
that if you say yes toeverything, or if you don't
guard your focus, you will fallbehind, you'll lose time, and if
you are finding yourself withnot enough time, then maybe you
haven't planned things outaccordingly.
And that's where goal settinghas this skill set, because it's
not just about setting a goalto do something, it's also being
(05:08):
aware of the distractions andthe things that get in your way.
So, when you're thinking aboutstructuring things, think about
how you plan time, what actionsyou plan and what distractions
that you need to eliminate areBecause if you get clear on that
, it's going to be a lot easierfor you to focus on what needs
to happen, because the next stepis just putting in your
(05:30):
calendar, putting in the thingsthat you believe are going to
move you towards the outcome.
So for me at the moment, a goalfor the marathons is I want to
do a sub three hour marathon inMelbourne.
I have a training program thatI need to follow and I'm
following it to a T, because Ibelieve that if I do that, I'm
doing everything within my powerto give the best result.
(05:50):
But on top of that, I'm makingsure I sleep well, I'm making
sure that I eat well and I'mmaking sure that I'm removing as
much stress from my life aspossible, because that all
impacts performance.
Another goal that I have ismoving my business to over half
a million a year and doing thatworking on the things that I
love.
So, rather than having to doeverything, I've got support.
(06:13):
So every time I hit a bottle, abit of a, a bottleneck, I'm
brain dumping it onto mondaycomand then I'm using an AI agent
that I've set up to help me go.
Okay.
This is the thing that I wantsolved or a standard operating
procedure that I need created.
Put it in here and then I cangive it to Danithi, who's my
(06:34):
virtual assistant, who can thenstart implementing that.
So, just in the last 24 hours,she's redoing where all my
clients work set up.
We're getting out a new diarythat she's updated that will be
put on amazoncom.
She's gone through, with a finetooth comb, my coaching program
to work out which where'sthere's gaps and how we can make
things better From thatstandpoint.
(06:55):
She's uploaded our scorecards,which will be available to you
guys soon, probably tonight, andthen she's done the email
follow-ups on that.
So, because that would havebeen something that I would have
normally had to have done, Iwouldn't be doing this video
right now.
So I know she's taking care ofthat.
I still got to give the tick ofapproval, but I've then just
scaled time, which is going tomove me towards being able to
(07:16):
focus on the things thatgenerate the most revenue, the
things that I enjoy and thethings that are client-facing,
which is coaching and speaking.
So that's another goal that Ihave.
Another goal that I have aswell.
A third one is starting afamily, so that's a really
important one.
We're going through IVF.
For those of you who've beenfollowing me long enough, you
understand that journey.
(07:36):
So a couple of goals that we'reworking on.
So for you listening, firstly,do you feel confident in setting
goals?
And to help you answer thatmore accurately do you set goals
and achieve them regularly, ordo you set goals and never
achieve them?
That's going to help youunderstand where you sit with
that, because then you mighthave to go hey, maybe the reason
(07:58):
why I'm not achieving my goalsis I just don't understand
really how to set goals properly.
Okay, the next thing we want totalk about is sacrifice.
Sacrifice is the price of goalsetting.
You can't have everything, andif you want something bad enough
, you have to make thesacrifices.
Last night I got home, all Iwanted to do was eat dinner and
(08:19):
sit on the couch.
That's all I wanted, but Icouldn't do it because I had to
make the sacrifice to go train,because that was a goal that
I've achieved and I want theoutcome.
I want the sub three hourmarathon.
I love proving to myself thatI'm capable of more than I
thought, and I also have astandard, which I'll talk about
in a moment, but that I just ifI commit to doing something.
(08:41):
I have this standard thatupholds the actions that deliver
that outcome right.
So I guess goals for somethingfor you to think about as well.
Goals require trade-off andoften the trade-off is either
time, it's comfort, money orenergy.
So think about what is thetrade-off or what is the
sacrifice that you maypotentially have to make for a
(09:03):
new goal or you are currentlyhaving to make for one of the
goals that you're workingtowards today, because if you
get clear on that, it's going tomake you or put you in the
position to be able to preparefor it, which is a great
position to be in.
And, as I was talking about atthe beginning, which is probably
where I went on a little bit ofa tangent is when you have
(09:23):
multiple goals, it makes thingsmore complicated.
So if you don't have systemswhich I'm only just getting
better at if you don't haveexperience in goal setting, if
you don't have the right supportand structure, then my belief
is, if you just focus on onegoal at a time, and let's say
you have four or three or four12-week goals over the space of
(09:45):
12 months, your life can bepretty significantly different.
If you want more than that.
You've got to earn the right todo that through creating
leverage and systems andprocesses and all of that sort
of stuff.
So think about that.
The final thing standards soimportant, but you've got to
choose standards over feelings,because if you only do things
(10:07):
when you're motivated, you'revery rarely going to do things
right.
I'm sure you've experienced.
When you're motivated and youset the goal, you get super
inspired and you're like I canachieve anything.
I've been there.
But what happens a couple ofdays later, or even, if not
hours, the dip, the motivationgoes, life gets in the way, the
distractions pop up and if youdon't follow your, if you don't
(10:31):
follow your or maintain yourstandards, you're not going to
do the things you're required todo when you need to do them.
So think about it like thisFeelings are unreliable drivers.
To achieve what you want, youneed to anchor standards for
progress.
So when you say to yourself I'msetting this goal to run a
(10:57):
marathon, here's the plan.
A standard of my plan is I donot skip a session.
Therefore, that when I don'tfeel like doing the session,
I've got to maintain thatstandard.
I said I would do it.
Therefore, I will do it, andthat can go across all areas of
life.
It doesn't matter what domainyou have set the goal in.
There's still going to bestructure required, there's
going to be sacrifices that youneed to make and there are going
(11:18):
to be standards that you needto have.
So something for you to thinkabout.
What is a goal that you'reworking towards?
And if you don't have a goal atthe moment, get one.
I don't see why you wouldn'thave one.
What's the structure you needto have in order to achieve that
?
What sacrifices are you goingto have to make in order to
achieve that?
And what standards do you needto have that are going to hold
(11:40):
you and drive you above how youfeel on any given day?
Because last night, for me,wasn't about the 10k that I ran.
It was proving that standardslead, not my emotions.
My name is Lachlan Stewart.
If you got value from this,thank you for tuning in.
Drop some comments belowwherever you're listening to it,
and make sure you head over tothemanthatcanproject.
(12:00):
com to take one of ourscorecards.
That can help you see where youmay potentially fall.
In short, or you're drifting inyour own life.
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