August 12, 2025 • 16 mins
Relational Reckoning is a powerful tool that helps couples take inventory of their relationship, identify resentment, and make informed decisions about whether to stay together or part ways.
• Using coaching or therapy as a "misery stabilizer" indicates deeper relationship issues that need addressing
• Relational Reckoning answers the question: "Is there enough good in this relationship to mourn what I'm not getting?"
• Create two columns - "Good" and "Needs/Missing" - to visualize your relationship inventory
• For each unmet need, consider whether it can be met outside the relationship or by yourself
• Some needs, like physical intimacy, require direct communication and possibly professional guidance
• This tool can be used annually to reboot your relationship and have honest conversations
• Working with a relationship coach helps ensure you make decisions with clarity and peace
If you'd like support with this process or want to schedule a free 30-minute relationship breakthrough call, visit monicatanner.com/call or email moni@monicatanner.com.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Secrets of Happily Ever
After podcast.
I'm your host, monica Tanner,and today I'm going to share
with you a really useful toolthat you can use to basically
take inventory of yourrelationship, make sure that
there's no unwanted resentment,and you can also use it to
(00:22):
answer the question should Istay or should I go?
Now, before we get started, Ijust want to give you a little
update.
We are six weeks out fromofficially launching my new book
, bad Marriage Advice.
So if you haven't already, makesure you go to
wwwbadmarriageadvicecom, sign upto be on the wait list, because
(00:44):
there are some goodies andbonuses that you get by doing
that, and then get excited forits official release on
September 30th.
Now, if you want to be part ofmy book launch team, which you
get a ton of bonuses and all youhave to do is go and purchase
the book on launch day and leavea review, but you're going to
(01:09):
get a ton of behind the scenes.
You're going to get put in aFacebook group with several of
my friends that are experts, whoare going to talk about
relationships, answer yourquestions and do some special
live Q and A's.
You're just going to email me,monnyatmonicatanercom.
Let me know you want to be onthat list and you will have my
absolute appreciation andexcitement.
(01:31):
All right, so let's get intotoday's topic Now.
I knew this was a timely toolthat I needed to share with you
because recently a lot of mycouples have been asking the
very serious question should Istay or should I go?
And most recently I had acouple who let me know that they
were basically just survivingfrom week to week between our
(01:55):
appointments, meaning that wewould have a coaching session
and they would do well for a fewdays, but by the end of the
week they were exhausted, reallyreconsidering whether or not
they wanted to continue workingon their relationship, and then
they would have another sessionwith me.
So basically they were usingcoaching with me as a misery
(02:16):
stabilizer.
Now this is anytime you'reusing either a substance or a
behavior to stabilize therelationship.
So sometimes we use drugs oralcohol or food as misery
stabilizers.
We can also use coaching,counseling or gambling, some
sort of behavior that kind oftakes the pressure off, but it
(02:40):
also keeps you from havingreally important conversations.
So they were telling me this askind of a compliment, meaning
like when we do coaching withyou, it keeps us going for a
little bit longer.
But what it said to me is thatwe need to have some serious
conversations about whether ornot they wanted to continue
working on the relationship.
And the way I think about thisis like when you're teaching a
(03:02):
toddler how to walk.
It's okay to hold both theirhands, you know, and help them
to go step by step, buteventually you want them to be
able to let go of you and beable to walk independently.
And that's what we work towardswith all of the couples I work
with, and so it's okay for themto hold on to me in the
beginning, but after we've beenworking for several months, they
(03:25):
either need to be able to walkindependently or we need to
reconsider the state of therelationship.
So the tool I want to sharewith you today is called
relational reckoning, and itcomes from RLT and Terry Reel's
work.
But basically, what you'regoing to do is you're answering
the question is there enoughgood in this relationship to
(03:47):
mourn what I'm not getting?
So some of the benefits ofdoing this exercise include
doing an inventory of yourrelationship, rooting out the
source of resentment, cleaningup your side of the street,
identifying what your needs areand how you can best meet them,
(04:08):
giving more perspective to yourrelationship, as well as
answering the question do westay and work on this or do we
part ways?
So that's just a few of thebenefits of doing this exercise.
So first, before you start, Iwant you to make sure that you
are in a calm and relativelyhealthy state of mind.
(04:31):
So I like to think of it, theHALTS acronym meaning if you're
hungry, agitated, lonely, tiredor stressed, I want you to give
yourself what you need.
So, get something to eat, takea nap, go for a run, make sure
that you're feeling pretty goodbefore you start working on this
exercise.
(04:51):
Then what I want you to do isget a piece of paper and a
pencil, because if you try tojust do it in your mind, you're
going to spin, and this exerciseis really visual.
I want you to be able to seeyour thoughts and I want you to
be able to address them one byone.
So, with a paper and a pencil, Iwant you to write at the top of
the page relational reckoning.
(05:11):
Then I want you to write at thetop of the page relational
reckoning.
Then I want you to write thequestion is there enough good
here to mourn what I'm notgetting in this relationship.
Now, remember we're doing thisfor your marriage, but you can
use this for any relationship.
You can use it for a friendship, for a work relationship, any
relationship where you'rethinking should I stay or should
(05:32):
I go, or can I clean up somethings in this relationship,
some thoughts about it?
You can do this exercise.
So you're writing at the top isthere enough good here to mourn
what I'm not getting?
And then I want you to divideyour piece of paper straight
down the middle into two columns.
So in the first column you'regoing to label it good.
In the second column you'regoing to label it needs or
(05:56):
missing.
And then I want you to take asignificant amount of time, so
like 24 hours.
I don't want you to just dothis quickly.
I want you to really focus onand think about what is good
about your relationship or yourpartner.
So when I do this exercise,there is a ton of good when I
really focus on it, when I askmyself the question what do I
(06:17):
really enjoy and appreciate,sometimes overlook or take for
granted in my relationship?
Well, for one thing, I think myhusband is super handsome.
We're very attracted to eachother.
We both work really, reallyhard.
We communicate very well aboutour differences of opinion and
ideas.
We parent our children verywell.
(06:38):
We enjoy them together, wespend a good time together and
in times of stress which we'regoing into a season of stress in
the fall because my husbandcoaches my kids both play sports
it feels like we're going in ahundred different directions at
the beginning of school, but wemanage it really well together.
Now, we haven't always, butwe've worked really hard, so
(07:00):
we're a great team.
Now these are some examples ofthings that I would put in the
good column.
Now, after you've focused onthat for a significant amount of
time and you've put down a lotof things in that column, if
you're struggling to think ofthe good, you might be suffering
from some negative sentimentoverride, which is something
(07:20):
that you definitely want to workwith a coach or a counselor on,
because that will negativelyaffect your relationship.
So do your best to come up withas much as you can and put it
in the good column.
Then I want you to switch andthink about what needs do I have
in this relationship that arenot being met?
Now here's some examples frommy own marriage.
(07:43):
One is I love to run, and I loveto do it with a partner, and so
I would love it if my husbandran with me.
But there's a couple of reasonswhy he doesn't One.
It's because he has nocartilage left in his ankles and
so running long distances ispainful for him.
But also he doesn't run my pacevery well.
He either likes to run reallyfast and get it over with, or
(08:06):
not run at all.
To him I'm very slow, sorunning with my husband is not
something that we do together,so that feels to me like
something that's kind of missing.
I would love it if we could runtogether, but that's not
available to me in myrelationship at this point.
Another one that feels missingto me is that I really
(08:27):
appreciate being appreciated.
So when I do a lot of workaround the house which I feel
like, especially in the verybusy times I'm great at
multitasking and I do a lot formy family behind the scenes, but
I spend a lot of time alone,and so when I am meal prepping
and vacuuming and cleaningtoilets and working with clients
(08:48):
and signing permission slipsand doing work for the
volleyball team and all of thethings that I do for my family.
Nobody really notices, but I'ma huge words of affirmation girl
and I would love it if, everyonce in a while, my husband or
my kids came home and were likemom, you're so freaking amazing,
you did so much today.
So that's a little vulnerableshare, right?
(09:11):
I do love it when people tellme I did a good job.
Okay.
So those are some kind of needsor things that I feel like are a
little bit missing in myrelationship.
So once you make a list of thethings that you're missing, I
want you to look at each ofthose things.
I want you to ask yourself isthis something I could find
outside of my relationship?
So for my first thing that'skind of missing, like a running
(09:34):
buddy.
I have been very fortunate tohave amazing running buddies
that are other women typicallythat are in the same stage of
motherhood or just ahead of mein motherhood, and so we have
been able to have wonderfuldiscussions about how to get our
toddlers to nap, what we'remaking for dinner, what to do
(09:54):
with our ADHD kids, what to dowhen our kids miss curfew all of
the things that, from amother's perspective, are super
helpful.
So I have loved bonding andsharing and running with other
women that are my age orslightly older.
So that's how I can get thatneed met.
(10:14):
And then, as far as beingappreciated and words of
affirmation, I have learned howto give those to myself.
So sometimes at the end of theday I will give myself a huge
high five in the mirror and I'llbe like great job, monica.
The lines in the carpet and thesparkling bathrooms and the
clean sheets on all of the beds,you are absolutely rocking it.
(10:37):
You got so much done today.
It doesn't matter if nobodynotices, but you, you did
fabulous work right, so I cangive that appreciation to myself
.
But maybe there's something onmy list Like I wish my husband
could make treats and enjoyed,like baking, and that he loved
(10:59):
having treats with me, and thatis something my husband does not
enjoy doing, and so that needon my list goes unmet.
But here's the relationalreckoning part of it.
I can look at that and be likeokay, my husband doesn't really
like treats or seafood, sothat's not something we can like
, do together and enjoy together.
And so there is a sense of likeokay, there is so much good in
(11:23):
this relationship, there are somany wonderful things that we do
enjoy doing together, that thatlittle piece or part is worth
kind of mourning, like, ah, Iguess you know we go out for
treats on dates sometimes, butit's not like something my
husband really loves to do.
It's something that I'm alwaysinitiating and I enjoy it.
But I feel like I'm kind ofenjoying it by myself and that's
(11:46):
fine.
I can totally live with thatbecause there is so much good.
So that's how I kind of mournthat Now you might be saying to
yourself okay, monica, those arevery small things on your list,
like a running buddy,appreciation and enjoying treats
together, but on your missinglist perhaps there is something
(12:06):
like physical or sexual intimacythat's missing or something
really big and heavy, and thathappens a lot.
And maybe you were looking atboth sides of your list and
you're like there is some goodhere, but there's a lot that I'm
missing.
What I would encourage you todo is get with a coach or a
(12:27):
counselor and see if you canwork through, if you can learn
some relational skills or waysof requesting and talking about
with your spouse the things thatare on your missing list and
perhaps their missing list.
The last thing I want you to dois to settle, is to be like oh,
I guess I'm never gonna getthis thing and so I guess I'm
(12:50):
just going to settle for nothaving it.
That's not working on yourrelationship and that's also not
mourning the loss.
That's not actual relationshipreckoning.
What I want you to do isactually work through the things
on your missing list to see ifyou can find it outside the
relationship, and then you cangive it to yourself or you can
(13:10):
learn how to request it.
Now, I realize that the sexualaspect is not something that you
can give it to yourself or youcan learn how to request it.
Now I realize that the sexualaspect is not something that you
can find outside therelationship or give to yourself
.
It is something that requiresyour spouse.
So again, if you're findingyourself in that boat, please
contact I recommend RLT trainedcoaches and counselors that can
help you work through thesethings.
(13:32):
Okay, so that is the relationalreckoning tool.
I like to sit down and do thisevery single year, and I've
asked my husband to do it aswell, and so when we go on our
annual trips, these are thetypes of things that we work on.
This is how we can kind ofidentify how the previous year
has gone and what we want towork on in the year to come.
(13:55):
This is how we kind of rebootthe relationship and we can be
super honest with each other andhave those tough conversations
about.
This is what I feel like islacking in our relationship.
What can we do about it?
How can we work on these thingsmaybe together, so that we can
grow and evolve individually andas a couple?
(14:15):
So that's the relationalreckoning tool.
So, just to recap, you're goingto get a piece of paper and a
pencil and you're going to writeat the top is there enough good
here to mourn what I'm notgetting in this relationship?
So in the first column you'regoing to write all of the good
or as much as you can come upwith.
And in the first column you'regoing to write all of the good
or as much as you can come upwith.
And in the second column you'regoing to write what is missing
(14:37):
or what you feel like you needor want in the relationship.
Now I don't want you to make adecision about should I stay or
should I go, without workingwith a coach or a counselor.
I realize it's a big decisionand if you do decide to continue
to work on the relationship.
I want you to have support and Iwant you to learn skills that
(14:59):
are going to really help youmake your relationship better.
And if you decide that you aregoing to part ways, I want you
to do that with peace, knowingthat you've tried everything.
So, again, if you would likesome support or help with this,
if you have questions, if youjust want to email me your
relational reckoning, get somefeedback on it, you can reach me
(15:23):
, monnie at monnietannercom, andif you'd like to set up a free
30 minute relationshipbreakthrough call with me, you
can go to monicatanercombackslash call and by the end of
that call you will have moreclarity on whether you want to
rekindle, rebuild work on yourrelationship or if you want to
(15:46):
start the process of partingways.
So I hope that you will usethat relational reckoning tool
to really root out resentmentand identify places in your
relationship that you might havebeen taken for granted and show
more appreciation for eachother.
And I will see you same time,same place next week.
(16:08):
And until then, happymarriaging.
Hello and welcome to the Secrets of Happily Ever
After podcast.
I'm your host, monica Tanner,and today I'm going to share
with you a really useful toolthat you can use to basically
take inventory of yourrelationship, make sure that
there's no unwanted resentment,and you can also use it to
(00:22):
answer the question should Istay or should I go?
Now, before we get started, Ijust want to give you a little
update.
We are six weeks out fromofficially launching my new book
, bad Marriage Advice.
So if you haven't already, makesure you go to
wwwbadmarriageadvicecom, sign upto be on the wait list, because
(00:44):
there are some goodies andbonuses that you get by doing
that, and then get excited forits official release on
September 30th.
Now, if you want to be part ofmy book launch team, which you
get a ton of bonuses and all youhave to do is go and purchase
the book on launch day and leavea review, but you're going to
(01:09):
get a ton of behind the scenes.
You're going to get put in aFacebook group with several of
my friends that are experts, whoare going to talk about
relationships, answer yourquestions and do some special
live Q and A's.
You're just going to email me,monnyatmonicatanercom.
Let me know you want to be onthat list and you will have my
absolute appreciation andexcitement.
(01:31):
All right, so let's get intotoday's topic Now.
I knew this was a timely toolthat I needed to share with you
because recently a lot of mycouples have been asking the
very serious question should Istay or should I go?
And most recently I had acouple who let me know that they
were basically just survivingfrom week to week between our
(01:55):
appointments, meaning that wewould have a coaching session
and they would do well for a fewdays, but by the end of the
week they were exhausted, reallyreconsidering whether or not
they wanted to continue workingon their relationship, and then
they would have another sessionwith me.
So basically they were usingcoaching with me as a misery
(02:16):
stabilizer.
Now this is anytime you'reusing either a substance or a
behavior to stabilize therelationship.
So sometimes we use drugs oralcohol or food as misery
stabilizers.
We can also use coaching,counseling or gambling, some
sort of behavior that kind oftakes the pressure off, but it
(02:40):
also keeps you from havingreally important conversations.
So they were telling me this askind of a compliment, meaning
like when we do coaching withyou, it keeps us going for a
little bit longer.
But what it said to me is thatwe need to have some serious
conversations about whether ornot they wanted to continue
working on the relationship.
And the way I think about thisis like when you're teaching a
(03:02):
toddler how to walk.
It's okay to hold both theirhands, you know, and help them
to go step by step, buteventually you want them to be
able to let go of you and beable to walk independently.
And that's what we work towardswith all of the couples I work
with, and so it's okay for themto hold on to me in the
beginning, but after we've beenworking for several months, they
(03:25):
either need to be able to walkindependently or we need to
reconsider the state of therelationship.
So the tool I want to sharewith you today is called
relational reckoning, and itcomes from RLT and Terry Reel's
work.
But basically, what you'regoing to do is you're answering
the question is there enoughgood in this relationship to
(03:47):
mourn what I'm not getting?
So some of the benefits ofdoing this exercise include
doing an inventory of yourrelationship, rooting out the
source of resentment, cleaningup your side of the street,
identifying what your needs areand how you can best meet them,
(04:08):
giving more perspective to yourrelationship, as well as
answering the question do westay and work on this or do we
part ways?
So that's just a few of thebenefits of doing this exercise.
So first, before you start, Iwant you to make sure that you
are in a calm and relativelyhealthy state of mind.
(04:31):
So I like to think of it, theHALTS acronym meaning if you're
hungry, agitated, lonely, tiredor stressed, I want you to give
yourself what you need.
So, get something to eat, takea nap, go for a run, make sure
that you're feeling pretty goodbefore you start working on this
exercise.
(04:51):
Then what I want you to do isget a piece of paper and a
pencil, because if you try tojust do it in your mind, you're
going to spin, and this exerciseis really visual.
I want you to be able to seeyour thoughts and I want you to
be able to address them one byone.
So, with a paper and a pencil, Iwant you to write at the top of
the page relational reckoning.
(05:11):
Then I want you to write at thetop of the page relational
reckoning.
Then I want you to write thequestion is there enough good
here to mourn what I'm notgetting in this relationship.
Now, remember we're doing thisfor your marriage, but you can
use this for any relationship.
You can use it for a friendship, for a work relationship, any
relationship where you'rethinking should I stay or should
(05:32):
I go, or can I clean up somethings in this relationship,
some thoughts about it?
You can do this exercise.
So you're writing at the top isthere enough good here to mourn
what I'm not getting?
And then I want you to divideyour piece of paper straight
down the middle into two columns.
So in the first column you'regoing to label it good.
In the second column you'regoing to label it needs or
(05:56):
missing.
And then I want you to take asignificant amount of time, so
like 24 hours.
I don't want you to just dothis quickly.
I want you to really focus onand think about what is good
about your relationship or yourpartner.
So when I do this exercise,there is a ton of good when I
really focus on it, when I askmyself the question what do I
(06:17):
really enjoy and appreciate,sometimes overlook or take for
granted in my relationship?
Well, for one thing, I think myhusband is super handsome.
We're very attracted to eachother.
We both work really, reallyhard.
We communicate very well aboutour differences of opinion and
ideas.
We parent our children verywell.
(06:38):
We enjoy them together, wespend a good time together and
in times of stress which we'regoing into a season of stress in
the fall because my husbandcoaches my kids both play sports
it feels like we're going in ahundred different directions at
the beginning of school, but wemanage it really well together.
Now, we haven't always, butwe've worked really hard, so
(07:00):
we're a great team.
Now these are some examples ofthings that I would put in the
good column.
Now, after you've focused onthat for a significant amount of
time and you've put down a lotof things in that column, if
you're struggling to think ofthe good, you might be suffering
from some negative sentimentoverride, which is something
(07:20):
that you definitely want to workwith a coach or a counselor on,
because that will negativelyaffect your relationship.
So do your best to come up withas much as you can and put it
in the good column.
Then I want you to switch andthink about what needs do I have
in this relationship that arenot being met?
Now here's some examples frommy own marriage.
(07:43):
One is I love to run, and I loveto do it with a partner, and so
I would love it if my husbandran with me.
But there's a couple of reasonswhy he doesn't One.
It's because he has nocartilage left in his ankles and
so running long distances ispainful for him.
But also he doesn't run my pacevery well.
He either likes to run reallyfast and get it over with, or
(08:06):
not run at all.
To him I'm very slow, sorunning with my husband is not
something that we do together,so that feels to me like
something that's kind of missing.
I would love it if we could runtogether, but that's not
available to me in myrelationship at this point.
Another one that feels missingto me is that I really
(08:27):
appreciate being appreciated.
So when I do a lot of workaround the house which I feel
like, especially in the verybusy times I'm great at
multitasking and I do a lot formy family behind the scenes, but
I spend a lot of time alone,and so when I am meal prepping
and vacuuming and cleaningtoilets and working with clients
(08:48):
and signing permission slipsand doing work for the
volleyball team and all of thethings that I do for my family.
Nobody really notices, but I'ma huge words of affirmation girl
and I would love it if, everyonce in a while, my husband or
my kids came home and were likemom, you're so freaking amazing,
you did so much today.
So that's a little vulnerableshare, right?
(09:11):
I do love it when people tellme I did a good job.
Okay.
So those are some kind of needsor things that I feel like are a
little bit missing in myrelationship.
So once you make a list of thethings that you're missing, I
want you to look at each ofthose things.
I want you to ask yourself isthis something I could find
outside of my relationship?
So for my first thing that'skind of missing, like a running
(09:34):
buddy.
I have been very fortunate tohave amazing running buddies
that are other women typicallythat are in the same stage of
motherhood or just ahead of mein motherhood, and so we have
been able to have wonderfuldiscussions about how to get our
toddlers to nap, what we'remaking for dinner, what to do
(09:54):
with our ADHD kids, what to dowhen our kids miss curfew all of
the things that, from amother's perspective, are super
helpful.
So I have loved bonding andsharing and running with other
women that are my age orslightly older.
So that's how I can get thatneed met.
(10:14):
And then, as far as beingappreciated and words of
affirmation, I have learned howto give those to myself.
So sometimes at the end of theday I will give myself a huge
high five in the mirror and I'llbe like great job, monica.
The lines in the carpet and thesparkling bathrooms and the
clean sheets on all of the beds,you are absolutely rocking it.
(10:37):
You got so much done today.
It doesn't matter if nobodynotices, but you, you did
fabulous work right, so I cangive that appreciation to myself
.
But maybe there's something onmy list Like I wish my husband
could make treats and enjoyed,like baking, and that he loved
(10:59):
having treats with me, and thatis something my husband does not
enjoy doing, and so that needon my list goes unmet.
But here's the relationalreckoning part of it.
I can look at that and be likeokay, my husband doesn't really
like treats or seafood, sothat's not something we can like
, do together and enjoy together.
And so there is a sense of likeokay, there is so much good in
(11:23):
this relationship, there are somany wonderful things that we do
enjoy doing together, that thatlittle piece or part is worth
kind of mourning, like, ah, Iguess you know we go out for
treats on dates sometimes, butit's not like something my
husband really loves to do.
It's something that I'm alwaysinitiating and I enjoy it.
But I feel like I'm kind ofenjoying it by myself and that's
(11:46):
fine.
I can totally live with thatbecause there is so much good.
So that's how I kind of mournthat Now you might be saying to
yourself okay, monica, those arevery small things on your list,
like a running buddy,appreciation and enjoying treats
together, but on your missinglist perhaps there is something
(12:06):
like physical or sexual intimacythat's missing or something
really big and heavy, and thathappens a lot.
And maybe you were looking atboth sides of your list and
you're like there is some goodhere, but there's a lot that I'm
missing.
What I would encourage you todo is get with a coach or a
(12:27):
counselor and see if you canwork through, if you can learn
some relational skills or waysof requesting and talking about
with your spouse the things thatare on your missing list and
perhaps their missing list.
The last thing I want you to dois to settle, is to be like oh,
I guess I'm never gonna getthis thing and so I guess I'm
(12:50):
just going to settle for nothaving it.
That's not working on yourrelationship and that's also not
mourning the loss.
That's not actual relationshipreckoning.
What I want you to do isactually work through the things
on your missing list to see ifyou can find it outside the
relationship, and then you cangive it to yourself or you can
(13:10):
learn how to request it.
Now, I realize that the sexualaspect is not something that you
can give it to yourself or youcan learn how to request it.
Now I realize that the sexualaspect is not something that you
can find outside therelationship or give to yourself
.
It is something that requiresyour spouse.
So again, if you're findingyourself in that boat, please
contact I recommend RLT trainedcoaches and counselors that can
help you work through thesethings.
(13:32):
Okay, so that is the relationalreckoning tool.
I like to sit down and do thisevery single year, and I've
asked my husband to do it aswell, and so when we go on our
annual trips, these are thetypes of things that we work on.
This is how we can kind ofidentify how the previous year
has gone and what we want towork on in the year to come.
(13:55):
This is how we kind of rebootthe relationship and we can be
super honest with each other andhave those tough conversations
about.
This is what I feel like islacking in our relationship.
What can we do about it?
How can we work on these thingsmaybe together, so that we can
grow and evolve individually andas a couple?
(14:15):
So that's the relationalreckoning tool.
So, just to recap, you're goingto get a piece of paper and a
pencil and you're going to writeat the top is there enough good
here to mourn what I'm notgetting in this relationship?
So in the first column you'regoing to write all of the good
or as much as you can come upwith.
And in the first column you'regoing to write all of the good
or as much as you can come upwith.
And in the second column you'regoing to write what is missing
(14:37):
or what you feel like you needor want in the relationship.
Now I don't want you to make adecision about should I stay or
should I go, without workingwith a coach or a counselor.
I realize it's a big decisionand if you do decide to continue
to work on the relationship.
I want you to have support and Iwant you to learn skills that
(14:59):
are going to really help youmake your relationship better.
And if you decide that you aregoing to part ways, I want you
to do that with peace, knowingthat you've tried everything.
So, again, if you would likesome support or help with this,
if you have questions, if youjust want to email me your
relational reckoning, get somefeedback on it, you can reach me
(15:23):
, monnie at monnietannercom, andif you'd like to set up a free
30 minute relationshipbreakthrough call with me, you
can go to monicatanercombackslash call and by the end of
that call you will have moreclarity on whether you want to
rekindle, rebuild work on yourrelationship or if you want to
(15:46):
start the process of partingways.
So I hope that you will usethat relational reckoning tool
to really root out resentmentand identify places in your
relationship that you might havebeen taken for granted and show
more appreciation for eachother.
And I will see you same time,same place next week.
(16:08):
And until then, happymarriaging.
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