November 21, 2024 • 34 mins
Join Rob and Robin as they explore the often challenging journey of waiting for dreams to come true. We'll discuss the importance of maintaining faith and hope in your relationship while navigating the emotional landscape of anticipation and patience.
Music by - Roger Jaeger - from the album (Fall Off the Earth)
Produced by - Jared Nester
Outro by - Madison Nester
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Rob and I'm Robin.
Thanks for listening toMarriage and Us.
Each week we will talk aboutreal-life topics that couples
experience in everyday marriedlife.
So let's get to today's episode.
Hello everybody.
(00:25):
Hi yes, we're back.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We're still here.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We're still here.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
We know that we haven't been around very much
lately and that season two isbecoming a limited edition
podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Collector's item.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh, life has been busy, hasn't it?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Very busy.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
If this is your first time, thank you for tuning in.
I know you don't actually tunein, but it sounds cool to say
that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Thanks for listening.
We appreciate that.
I'm Rob.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And I'm Robin.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, so we love being married.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We do.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Love doing the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We do, even though we haven't been doing them lately.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yes, I was going to say something about that.
It has been an interestingseason and we're going to talk
about that.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
We are.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
A little bit today About where we've been for the
last month.
Not that we've been hiding oranything.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
That's not what the point is Maybe the last couple
of months.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah at least a month and a half at least, and some
big news that we have and movingforward, yeah.
So we're going to talk aboutseveral different things today,
and so I'm excited.
We're going to talk aboutliterally where we're at the
reality and what does it looklike when you dream as a couple.
Yeah, the reality.
And what does it look like whenyou dream as a couple.
Yeah, I mean, a dream is a bigword when you really think about
(01:50):
it.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It is.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Because it can have hope in it.
For us, obviously, faith ispart of that.
There's discouragement We'lltalk about that a little bit
today as well, too.
There's disappointment We'lltalk about that a little bit
today as well, too.
There's disappointment.
There's trying to be on thesame page when it comes to
dreams.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Very true.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
They're sharing your dreams not only with each other,
but with other couples.
So, yeah, those are some of the, I think, some of the
highlights today.
Let me ask you, now that we'vebeen married for a while, when
you hear the word dreams, orbecause we've had a lot of big
dreams in our life, you know,some people know our story.
(02:33):
We're not going to go into ourhistory today, but when you hear
that, where you are now, whatdoes, what does that feel and
look like to you?
When you, when somebody says,you know we're dreamers or we
have this dream?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So what does it feel like to me when other people
share their dreams with me?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
No, just where you're at right now, in the process of
us being married, and what thatlooks like to you now maybe
what it did five years ago, tenyears ago.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Sure.
Well, I think that you know forus, we're both 60 now.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
You could always leave that out.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
You know it's important, we look great, though
I'm just saying we're so goodlooking.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
We are yes.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You know, at our age dreams look different than they
did in our 20s.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Right, yeah, talk about that.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Well, I think when you're in your 20s, for one
thing, you really don't.
You have dreams, but it's kindof hard, maybe, to hone in on
one dream.
Usually I think a lot of times.
Now I meet some people in their20s and they're very, you know,
like just targeted, and theyknow what they want and you know
their dream is this but I knowfor myself, when I was in my 20s
(03:47):
I felt like my dreams could goin many directions and we didn't
get married till we were 26,which is not that old, but I
think back when we got marriedwe were considered getting
married a little older than somecouples, and so I think the
dreams that I even had before wegot married and the dreams that
I had after we got married, youknow, those were two different
(04:09):
things in some ways, becausewhen you're single and you're
dreaming your dream, to behonest.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Well, I mean, I think there's, and that's what I hear
you saying.
There are different stages ofdreams in our lives.
There are different stages ofdreams in our lives.
If you aren't married and yourdream is to be married, then
that's a totally different dreamthan once it becomes a reality
and you get married.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yes, true.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I mean, you're not going to still be dreaming boy.
I wish I was married whenyou're actually married, because
that one has become a reality.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Right and dreams of children and career.
That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Right and dreams of children and career.
That's what I was going to say.
So as you progress withmarriage, you know, for example,
a big dream for most people isowning a home Right.
It's one of the first, I think,big dreams that most people
have.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
True, you know, so I think that.
But now, where we are in ourstage of life, it's interesting
because, you know, being emptynesters, there is a feeling for
me that when I think aboutdreams they feel like you know,
wow, we could just do anything.
You know, because we're at astage in our life where, you
know, we've raised, we just haveone daughter, but you know, we
raised our daughter and she'smarried now and you know when
she has her own dreams.
Exactly.
And when you're parenting, youknow your dreams.
(05:29):
Please don't let me mess thisup.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
If you're a parent out there, especially if you
have more than one kid, you'regoing.
Please let me be a good parent.
Please help me raise a kid.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
When you're raising kids, when you have a family.
I mean not to say you don'tdream.
I believe you do dream, butthere's so much going on in your
life sometimes, at least for us, we were so busy parenting and
different things that our lifewas more consumed with that and
it was great, I mean veryfulfilling for us.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
So let me ask you a question, though.
When you said that, it made methink of something Moments in
life, if we're not careful, notthat raising a child is not
important.
That's not what.
I'm saying but your dreams cansometimes be put on a back
burner or feel like they geteven stolen from you.
I know we've talked to peoplelike well, I just don't know if
(06:22):
that's ever going to happen youknow in this stage of my life or
where we're at, or we can't doit because of this.
I think.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Would you say they've been stolen, though, or would
you just say that people let goof their dreams.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Maybe Maybe yes, that's a good word as well too,
I guess they could be stolen too.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But I think a lot of times it's just kind of like you
, you know, it's like well, youknow, I thought I might do that
one day, but oh well you knowthat kind of thing Possibly,
yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I totally agree with that.
I think it's again, it'sknowing the stage of life where
you're at.
I mean, we've said this onseveral podcasts in the past you
know, when it comes to marriage, it's a journey, it's the best
hard work you'll ever do, butyou've got to know and be
willing to know that change isinevitable or just stay single,
(07:13):
because marriage requires thatability, and I think that's what
we're trying to talk abouttoday, especially as a married
couple.
How do you talk about yourdreams, especially as a married
couple?
How do you talk about yourdreams, share your dreams and
then discuss what's reality?
What can we do in ourself?
Is this just something, man,I'd love to sing?
(07:37):
If you're a musician, you singcountry music.
Man, I'd love to sing on theGrand Opry, but you don't play
an instrument anymore, you don'tsing anymore.
That type of dreamrealistically probably was never
going to happen.
I mean, I think you and I welove talking about basketball
sometimes.
I mean, like Spud Webb.
(07:58):
Right, I mean everybody probablytold him it's not going to
happen.
Right, you're only 5'6".
Right, he wins the dunkcompetition.
But there are dreams that Imean he just wasn't going to
give up and he was an incrediblygifted athlete, but most people
that are 5'6 are not going toplay in the NBA.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
True.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
So there's always exceptions, I guess, is what I'm
saying.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yes, I agree.
So let's talk a little bitabout our dreams.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Sure Well, to get to our dreams, especially for us,
there's been a lot which I thinka lot of couples experience as
well too the waiting game.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
You know of wow, is this ever going to happen?
I know you and I have talkedabout this and we've talked
about you know, and I thinkwe've kind of put these two
thoughts together.
One of the things about waitingis how do you wait, how do you
communicate your frustrationsand your disappointments?
And something I know that hasreally helped us in that time is
(08:57):
sharing our dreams.
We, over the last year or so,we've had several couples that
we would meet a couple times amonth and we'd just talk about
marriage, talk about life, andthey're all at different stages.
Most of them are younger thanus.
I think we like it because itmakes us feel younger.
But anyway, it is that abilityto communicate and share your
(09:19):
dreams and have them become partof your dream as well, too.
Right, this is what we'rethinking, this is what we want
to do.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Well, I think it's important, though, when you
share your dreams, you have tobe careful who you share those
dreams with.
Oh, absolutely, I think youknow, and so when you find
friends that embrace that kindof thing, it's very helpful.
Yeah, because they can help tofan the flames inside of you for
(09:49):
things that you're looking todo Right Again as being
Christians and believing in God.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Faith is a big piece in all of this, absolutely,
absolutely For sure Our churchcommunity is Because you can't
have faith.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Sorry, absolutely.
You know for sure our churchcommunity is awesome and you
know, and I think that anyone inthe church over the years that
we've shared some things thatwe're hoping for, whatever you
know, they've been quick toencourage us and, you know, just
kind of help us keep movingtowards that, cheering us on
(10:25):
Right.
That's kind of what I'm tryingto say.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
And it goes both ways .
I mean, one of the things I'veloved most about our life group
that we had was when we sharedour dreams.
I always felt it gave thempermission to share their dreams
.
It could be going back toschool, it could be buying a
house, it could be going back toschool, it could be buying a
house, it could be wantingchildren.
So those ability to share thosedreams it kind of feeds off of
(10:47):
each other Right, start theirown business.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Exactly that type of thing.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
It feeds off of that.
So for us, I think that that'sbeen a big part of the journey
over the last four or five years, of the dream that we've, that
we've had for quite a while.
I know you've done this as welltoo, so we've shared.
So let's just get to the dreampart for us.
(11:12):
I think that's what you'reshaking your head.
The we have for the last fouror five years especially kind of
ramped up the idea of buyingproperty and having enough land
to do like a micro wedding eventand a retreat center for
couples and things of thatnature.
So initially it was just.
(11:33):
This has been our process and Ihope this helps some of you.
We talked about it Right, prayedabout it, didn't talk about it,
talked about it, prayed aboutit, didn't talk about it, talked
about it some more, talked withother people who had the same
dream, kind of forgot about it.
So it's been this process,wouldn't you say.
(11:55):
But over the last year and ahalf, I would say our, our
desire really intensified, wouldyou agree?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yes, I think so.
I was even thinking.
You know, maybe it even atfirst wasn't so much a dream, it
was just an idea.
I thought like, wow, that'd bekind of cool.
Wouldn't it buy some land andand have like a small wedding
venue of some sort on it and,like you said, have couples
could come out onto the propertyand do workshops or whatever
kind of like an idea, you know,and I don't know where it
(12:27):
shifted from maybe just an ideato like a, a dream or desire you
know, um that's good.
Yeah, you know, it was just kindof like oh wow, I think I would
really like that, I think I, Iwould.
I could say I want that.
Yes, you know, um, carrying itto, even through prayer, like,
okay, god, this is, this is akind of like a.
This is a dream, it's becominga dream, it's like a desire.
(12:50):
You feel it, you feel it insidewhen you talk about it, there's
a passion that kind of comesalong and maybe that's where it
starts moving through the phasesof a thought or an idea to a
dream, through the phases of athought or an idea to a dream,
and you hit a great word.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So learning how to move from an idea, a dream, a
desire, to now.
How does this become reality?
What are the practical stepsthat we have to take?
What is this going to cost us?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
You know, not only money-wise but time, time wise,
all those things you have tohave and I think that's the
thing that I really want totouch on as well too is that
open communication, because youand I were talking about this in
(13:39):
the car.
We've known couples that onespouse is like really.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I mean, they just dream all the time or have ideas
.
Right, always an idea.
Hey, what about this?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
You know we could do that, and the other one may be a
little bit more practical andplay it a little bit safer.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
They're just worried about how do we pay the electric
bill and the water and feed ourchildren.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
So there's that communication, because you don't
want to stifle your spouse ifthat's how they're wired.
But you know, I will say thisas well too In that situation if
you learn how to communicate,you actually can learn how to
work that together, where thepractical and the dream can
benefit each other.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
So let's fast forward .
So over the last six months orso, we really it intensified
what we wanted to do.
We created for us, we created adream board.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Right, so explain that.
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
For me.
I'm a visual, I need visual, Ineed something, something to
look at.
I need something tangible that Ican look at and go.
That's what I want.
So between I mean I can't countthe times I would walk in.
You're watching YouTube on somechannel about people that had a
dream and they're out pursuingsomething.
(14:52):
Or tiny houses, how do youbuild them?
And I'm looking at how do yourestore barns and what's the
best tractor to buy, so you getall these things.
That's going on.
So a dream board for us wassnapshots of buildings and it
could be down to cornhole.
It was down to.
You know what is-.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Like what we would even play, right when you're
saying cornhole yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, what do we want on this property?
What type of venue are welooking for?
What's the idea of that?
And that was a.
That was a big, and we broughtthat out to one of the life
groups.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yes, when we had life groups at our house, we did and
let them see it.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, and it was.
The response was great and it'sgo.
Oh yeah, I can see it, and somepeople will journal your
thoughts.
That's a great way to do it aswell, to write down your
thoughts so you have somethingto go back and look at and
remind yourself.
But since then, to where we arenow, so it's we're again
(15:56):
excited, overwhelmed.
I don't think are big enoughwords.
I don't think I've actuallycried on the episodes I talk
about all the time.
But it's just when you're ableto put a stake literally,
physically and mentally andspiritually in the ground.
(16:20):
It just does something.
It gives you such hope.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So you got to talk a bit more in a second Catch my.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So what that looked like for us, we felt like in our
hearts and through prayer, wejust felt like God was
challenging us to go ahead andput our home on the market.
And we live in town, we live inNashville, and so we're in the
city.
We're just on a small lot in aneighborhood.
(16:54):
But he asked us and we justfelt that push kind of like a
leap of faith Okay, I'm back.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I'm back.
Wait a minute.
Before you do that, I want youto tell it, so the house that
we're in how faithful God iswhen it comes to dream and how
he literally does see thebeginning from the end.
Because when we bought thishouse, take it away.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
So when we bought this little house, really it was
all we could afford, and Ithink that we felt like, in some
ways, when we purchased thishome, that we had to settle
because financially you know,financially, this was really all
we could do was just, you know,a small house and um, and so
(17:39):
you know we came in.
The house was very dated and um.
Our home was built in the latefifties.
No air conditioning, there wasno central heater air in this
house when we moved in, and soit got very interesting when it
was in the heat of the summer orthe coldest of winter days, you
know, sitting by space heatersand wrapped in blankets,
(18:00):
watching TV, and then slowly—and from a spiritual point let
me interrupt you there.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I mean going back to what you said.
We literally felt we missed it.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, we felt like we had missed it after we moved in
we're like, did it?
Yeah, we felt like we hadmissed it.
After we moved in we're likedid we settle?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Because we felt we had done just what we could do
in ourself, right, and we didn'tfeel that our faith, we knew
there was something more, so wewere dealing with again we're
talking about dreams we weredealing with disappointment, and
so that's where we were.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
But at least we'd purchased a home.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
We're going to make the best of it.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And we did start working on the house a little
bit and you know just littlesimple things and we've been
here now for 13 years anddefinitely call this house our
home.
Yes, but as as as we stayed inthe house longer and year after
year, you know, the housingmarket starts booming.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
We do live in Nashville and we stayed in the
house longer and year after year.
You know the housing marketstarts booming.
We do live in Nashville and welive in.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Nashville, and we live only a few miles from the
heart of downtown Nashville.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Broadway.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
So you know, this neighborhood all of a sudden
becomes this hot commodity.
And you know, and yeah feltlike, ok, we're going to put the
house on the market.
And we only had the house onthe market a few weeks and we
were under contract.
It was just wild.
It was like wow, this is movingfast.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
A little scary because we had nowhere to live.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Right, it's like the first week.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
it's on the market and people keep coming in and
looking, but our realtor, beckyPendergrass, shout out to Becky.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Love her.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yes, love her yes.
She told us yeah, she's likewe're going to find something.
We're going to find somethingand we really wanted to move
more outside of town.
Like I said, our dream was toown land, and lo and behold this
property just pops up.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Here's the miracle.
So we want to encourage you ifyou're out there listening, if
you've got dreams we had seenthis property that we really,
really liked.
So we told Becky say, hey,let's get on a call tomorrow and
we want to show you this houseand let's talk about it.
From that day to again, ourhouse just went under contract.
(20:03):
The next day we pulled this upwith Becky and the house had
dropped $62,000.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Yes, the next day.
Yeah, the next day.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
And you just go in.
Okay, God, I get it.
Okay, this is just lining up.
It doesn't make any sensenecessarily, but it's to a point
.
But you're working on thingsthat are good here.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
So we go see it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Go see it, love it, put an offer on it and go right
under contract.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
And so all of this change happened within just a
number less than three weeks.
Our house is under contract.
Our new home that we're goingto purchase, we're under
contract.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But it's happened and because, again, going back to
what you shared, we thought we'dmissed it.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Right Years ago, 13 years ago.
Fast forward, fast forward.
This home was a fabulousinvestment, and so we, you know
the equity that was built in wasincredible.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
We, you know, we're selling it Four times, four
times what we purchased it for.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Because, you know, the market has just changed in
this area.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Now, yeah, like we said, it's just so God really
does see the beginning from theend.
He does go bigger.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
So what we really does have a plan right when we
couldn't see moving in as we'releaving, we can see that his
hand was in all of it and thatyou know everything was just was
our dreams were coming, but wejust had to wait you know and um
, and so we're super excited and16 acres 16 acres Um.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
so if you follow us on Instagram, we've got a little
picture.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
If you see us on Facebook, you can see that and a
beautiful little home had beentotally redone.
Because that's that was ourdilemma.
We we'd find land, but thehouse was, you know, possibly
haunted we wouldn't for sure orwe'd find a nice house with not
enough land, and so now thatwe've found both, I mean it
literally is going to give us Imean, trust me, there's more
(21:57):
things to come, there's morefaith.
We've got to have morestructures, we've got to build
and all those type of things.
But it has been, it hasrestored our hope so much.
And again, that's what I hopeyou hear.
Today is 13 years ago.
We couldn't see that.
It wasn't even a dream then tohave to do this type of thing.
Then, 13 years ago, oh no.
(22:20):
So this is something that wasbirthed once we moved here and
then continued to do marriagecounseling and coaching, but
again from the disappointment ofwhat we thought because we
thought we did something wrongto where we are now.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Right, right the excitement.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I know it's so good yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
So we just think, you know, just hope our story and
our testimony really encouragesall of you guys out there.
I will say along the way, overthe years I know one thing that
has helped me so much withdreaming I follow a YouTube
channel.
Actually, I just love YouTubeand you know that I do, oh my
(23:02):
God, every morning.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I mean I love YouTube , every morning you can find
anything.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
That is true, and so what I started doing probably
now it's been at least fouryears ago, I would say I started
looking for channels on YouTubethat would um encourage me and,
like I love gardening and I'vetalked about that a lot over you
know the podcast I love gettingout and I am still learning.
(23:31):
Yeah, rob loves the okra that Ithat I grow, but, you know, just
learning how to garden andbecome more sustainable.
So I started following, um, youknow, different channels that
support that kind of thinkingand, um, I have one that I just,
I really love.
I've talked about even beforeon one or two of the episodes,
(23:53):
but it's about a family that youknow purchases land and what
that looks like to turn that rawland into gardens and
greenhouses and you know andeverything that they're dreaming
about.
And they're homesteaders for themost part.
I don't know if Rob and I willbe homesteaders with multiple
animals and all of that ever.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I'm buying a tractor.
That's all I know.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But I guess, yeah, rob keeps saying we're going to
be farmers.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
And if you guys know us.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Some of you know us very well.
I don't know if I always wouldhave thought I'd be a farmer one
day.
We're going to grow pumpkins.
We're going to grow pumpkins.
We're going to grow some stuff.
Yeah, we're going to have fun,but you know it, it those kinds
of channels and and finding umthings to encourage you, the.
(24:41):
The one statement um Jess Sowersis is the woman who's on the
one channel that I love so much,and and one of her favorite
little mottos that she has forher life is turn your waiting
room into a classroom, and Ilove that and I really took that
to heart, even when thisproperty seemed like something
way off in the future.
I would try to find ways toturn that waiting into something
(25:05):
productive and and and learn,learn, just just learn.
And and I'm so thankful becausethis little yard here in our
home has been a great practicelawn for all sorts of things
that I've grown, and I'mthankful, you know I'm really,
really I'm thankful.
So I know this may not be yourdream, maybe you know, but but
(25:29):
whatever it is that, whateverthat dream is, it's Doing things
that can help you learn.
You know it keeps that fuel onthe fire of your dreams, and it
doesn't necessarily even have toalways cost a lot of money.
You know to do it, but it'sjust finding practical ways to
(25:52):
keep moving forward, movingforward.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Well, one of the things that I love of a lot of
the shows that you watch andthen I watch them as well too is
the honesty that most of themwell, I would say all of them
that you watch or you've had mewatch have.
So it's the dream, the process,the failure.
(26:14):
Again, we talked about thedisappointment.
This is something we're wantingto do, but it looks like we're
not going to be able to rightnow.
And what does that look likeand how do you walk that out?
And again, going back to whatwe said about couples, again, I
totally agree with you on thatis you can't share your dream
with everybody.
(26:34):
I agree with that.
But you do need to find evenyou two but like-minded people
that you can share your dreamswith and then go one, maybe it's
.
I'm sorry that happened.
I understand the disappointment, right when things don't work
out Exactly.
But I'm still with you.
I still believe in your dream.
Sure, you know.
So I think you've got tosurround yourself.
(26:57):
You know I used to share thisall the time.
Whatever you know, I used tosay show me your five closest
friends and I'll let you knowwhere you're at.
You know, if they're still onlydrinking beer and pizza, you
probably need drinking beer andpizza drinking beer and eating
pizza.
Well, if you drink enough beer,you may think you can drink a
pizza.
I'm not sure, but that'sanother story in itself.
(27:21):
I don't know, we just fell offthe wagon folks.
Here we go, Back on track, Backon track.
You've got to surround yourselfwith people.
That again, I want to becareful with this too.
I'm not saying I have to agreewith you, but are like-minded.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
You know, because you need that pull.
And you know, even in marriage,you and I, again even tonight
before the podcast, we'retalking about some different
things.
Like it's, like you know, I'vehad I'm thinking about something
a lot and you're like tellingme now what you think.
So now I have to think aboutwhat you've said.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
So it's, it's that it's that and so I think okay.
So I'll push back on that alittle bit.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
That's been a big word for us, just if you're
going to push back.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I was going to say you want to be around people
that are like-minded, yes, butthen you also want to have
people that think differentlythan you, because they can see
things that you can't.
That's what I meant.
I'm not saying they always haveto agree with you.
You may not.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
And that's what happened with us tonight as we
were talking about.
Well, why do you think that'sbetter?
Why is that choice and I'mwired, you know?
Again, this is being veryvulnerable because, if I've had
a lot of time to think about itand you will use that word again
(28:35):
push back a little bit.
We talked about tonight going.
Oh, I need to know that you'renot upset with me.
This is you talking to me, butyou're just now needing time to
think about what I've said.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Sure.
So, within anything.
I think that any kind ofpartnership when it comes to
marriage and and ideas and plans.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah that you're going to face that.
Oh, you know, that's just partof married life.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Right, because again, this is still, I believe, part
of dreaming.
We've talked about this manytimes before on some previous
episodes Offense kills healthyconversation, true, and if
you've got to be willing andagain, I'm not always I'll be
the first to say I don't alwaysdo a great job Again, I'm not
(29:17):
always I'll be the first to sayI don't always do a great job we
were talking tonight and shesaid your face is saying
something totally different.
And I go well, I can't help myface to a point.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
So I shut my eyes.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
So yeah, don't look at me.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Don't stare at me.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Listen to the words I'm saying, but don't look at my
face.
Don't look at my face Because,again, I'm not a very good poker
player.
When it comes to that.
I can't hide things.
They'll say I wear my emotionson my sleeve.
But when I communicated that toyou tonight, even though I've
told you that multiple times,you said, hey, I still need to
hear that every now and then,hey, I'm okay, I'm just needing
time to think.
Don't judge my face.
(29:56):
I may be not struggling, butthe pushback may make me go.
Oh well, is this the rightdecision?
Is this not the right decision?
And I think that's healthy aswell, too.
You've got to have that.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Oh, you do.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
In marriage or friendships.
I love our daughter, Madison.
She works at a place, she justgot a promotion and she has a
great mentor there, and he'lljust say things to her like well
, that's not right.
You know, this is something youneed to look at and be aware of
.
And it's like, oh, okay, well,yeah, and that can be difficult,
(30:32):
even in marriage, because it'snot the point of always.
What's our statement?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
You don't always have to think alike, but you do have
to think together.
Yes, love that, it's one of myfavorite quotes, and that's one
of the main things.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Well, I think, at least for us, if you're a
dreamer out there, or you havedreams, surround yourself with
good people.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Surround yourself with people that do think
different than you, that youtrust.
Keep your faith up, and for us,that's the thing You've got to
keep trusting God, even if youfeel you've missed it.
He does have a plan and nothingis called Him by surprise.
And even if you miss it,supposedly, whatever that is,
(31:14):
I'm not sure what that meansanymore Journal.
Whatever you've got to do, butdon't give up on your dream, but
be flexible enough to know thatsometimes dreams change and I
think the hardest thingsometimes, if we feel like a
dream dies, that can be tough,but sometimes it just may go in
(31:38):
a different direction and Ithink you've got to be willing,
especially as a believer, sayGod, this is something I desire,
but if you have somethingbetter for me and I don't mean
that I want to be careful, thatis not an out to not pursue
stuff or keep believing.
That's not what I'm sayingeither.
What I am saying is sometimesGod said I have a.
(32:00):
If you trust me, I have abetter way.
You know cause?
I mean we, we know countlesspeople is that well, I mean for
us, we're.
You know, this is not where wethought we were going to end up
when we were in our earlytwenties.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
No, yeah, I mean our late twenties, when we first got
married, late 20s, late 20s.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
But it's a good path.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
And we just totally believe.
And again, even as we move on,if God says, I've got something
else in mind for you, then Iwant to be open to that as well
too.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Right, it's an adventure, it is.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
It is, but dreaming's good, so keep dreaming.
Yes, and just being honest, weclose in a few weeks on our
house, so keep those things inprayer as we move.
14 years of boxes oh my gosh,we've got boxes and stuff I've
forgotten about everywhere.
So not quite for sure when ournext episode will be.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
So it could be Christmas.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
It could be Happy New .
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Year, I don't know Hell.
Here we are, 2025.
But we'll be back soon.
Thanks for your support.
Thanks for always listening forthose that listen and tell a
friend.
Again, we're still trying togrow this.
We'll keep you updated.
We've got some things in thework with the property.
We're working on the name ofthat.
(33:20):
So as soon as we have some ofthese things in place we'll be
letting you know about that andthen if you know people that
want to get married coming upnext year, you'll know who to
call.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
All right, well, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
See you, guys, soon.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
See you, bye.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
You've been listening to Marriage and Us, with your
hosts, Rob and Robin Adkins.
Stay up to date by followingthem on Instagram at
marriageandus underscore podcastand on Twitter at marriageandus
.
Also hit the follow button soyou never miss an episode from
your favorite couple.
You.
Hi, I'm Rob and I'm Robin.
Thanks for listening toMarriage and Us.
Each week we will talk aboutreal-life topics that couples
experience in everyday marriedlife.
So let's get to today's episode.
Hello everybody.
(00:25):
Hi yes, we're back.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
We're still here.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
We're still here.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
We know that we haven't been around very much
lately and that season two isbecoming a limited edition
podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Collector's item.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh, life has been busy, hasn't it?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Very busy.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
If this is your first time, thank you for tuning in.
I know you don't actually tunein, but it sounds cool to say
that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Thanks for listening.
We appreciate that.
I'm Rob.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
And I'm Robin.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, so we love being married.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
We do.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Love doing the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
We do, even though we haven't been doing them lately.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yes, I was going to say something about that.
It has been an interestingseason and we're going to talk
about that.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
We are.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
A little bit today About where we've been for the
last month.
Not that we've been hiding oranything.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
That's not what the point is Maybe the last couple
of months.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah at least a month and a half at least, and some
big news that we have and movingforward, yeah.
So we're going to talk aboutseveral different things today,
and so I'm excited.
We're going to talk aboutliterally where we're at the
reality and what does it looklike when you dream as a couple.
Yeah, the reality.
And what does it look like whenyou dream as a couple.
Yeah, I mean, a dream is a bigword when you really think about
(01:50):
it.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
It is.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Because it can have hope in it.
For us, obviously, faith ispart of that.
There's discouragement We'lltalk about that a little bit
today as well, too.
There's disappointment We'lltalk about that a little bit
today as well, too.
There's disappointment.
There's trying to be on thesame page when it comes to
dreams.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Very true.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
They're sharing your dreams not only with each other,
but with other couples.
So, yeah, those are some of the, I think, some of the
highlights today.
Let me ask you, now that we'vebeen married for a while, when
you hear the word dreams, orbecause we've had a lot of big
dreams in our life, you know,some people know our story.
(02:33):
We're not going to go into ourhistory today, but when you hear
that, where you are now, whatdoes, what does that feel and
look like to you?
When you, when somebody says,you know we're dreamers or we
have this dream?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So what does it feel like to me when other people
share their dreams with me?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
No, just where you're at right now, in the process of
us being married, and what thatlooks like to you now maybe
what it did five years ago, tenyears ago.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Sure.
Well, I think that you know forus, we're both 60 now.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
You could always leave that out.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
You know it's important, we look great, though
I'm just saying we're so goodlooking.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
We are yes.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You know, at our age dreams look different than they
did in our 20s.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Right, yeah, talk about that.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Well, I think when you're in your 20s, for one
thing, you really don't.
You have dreams, but it's kindof hard, maybe, to hone in on
one dream.
Usually I think a lot of times.
Now I meet some people in their20s and they're very, you know,
like just targeted, and theyknow what they want and you know
their dream is this but I knowfor myself, when I was in my 20s
(03:47):
I felt like my dreams could goin many directions and we didn't
get married till we were 26,which is not that old, but I
think back when we got marriedwe were considered getting
married a little older than somecouples, and so I think the
dreams that I even had before wegot married and the dreams that
I had after we got married, youknow, those were two different
(04:09):
things in some ways, becausewhen you're single and you're
dreaming your dream, to behonest.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Well, I mean, I think there's, and that's what I hear
you saying.
There are different stages ofdreams in our lives.
There are different stages ofdreams in our lives.
If you aren't married and yourdream is to be married, then
that's a totally different dreamthan once it becomes a reality
and you get married.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yes, true.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I mean, you're not going to still be dreaming boy.
I wish I was married whenyou're actually married, because
that one has become a reality.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Right and dreams of children and career.
That's what I was going to say.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Right and dreams of children and career.
That's what I was going to say.
So as you progress withmarriage, you know, for example,
a big dream for most people isowning a home Right.
It's one of the first, I think,big dreams that most people
have.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
True, you know, so I think that.
But now, where we are in ourstage of life, it's interesting
because, you know, being emptynesters, there is a feeling for
me that when I think aboutdreams they feel like you know,
wow, we could just do anything.
You know, because we're at astage in our life where, you
know, we've raised, we just haveone daughter, but you know, we
raised our daughter and she'smarried now and you know when
she has her own dreams.
Exactly.
And when you're parenting, youknow your dreams.
(05:29):
Please don't let me mess thisup.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
If you're a parent out there, especially if you
have more than one kid, you'regoing.
Please let me be a good parent.
Please help me raise a kid.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
When you're raising kids, when you have a family.
I mean not to say you don'tdream.
I believe you do dream, butthere's so much going on in your
life sometimes, at least for us, we were so busy parenting and
different things that our lifewas more consumed with that and
it was great, I mean veryfulfilling for us.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
So let me ask you a question, though.
When you said that, it made methink of something Moments in
life, if we're not careful, notthat raising a child is not
important.
That's not what.
I'm saying but your dreams cansometimes be put on a back
burner or feel like they geteven stolen from you.
I know we've talked to peoplelike well, I just don't know if
(06:22):
that's ever going to happen youknow in this stage of my life or
where we're at, or we can't doit because of this.
I think.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Would you say they've been stolen, though, or would
you just say that people let goof their dreams.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Maybe Maybe yes, that's a good word as well too,
I guess they could be stolen too.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But I think a lot of times it's just kind of like you
, you know, it's like well, youknow, I thought I might do that
one day, but oh well you knowthat kind of thing Possibly,
yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I totally agree with that.
I think it's again, it'sknowing the stage of life where
you're at.
I mean, we've said this onseveral podcasts in the past you
know, when it comes to marriage, it's a journey, it's the best
hard work you'll ever do, butyou've got to know and be
willing to know that change isinevitable or just stay single,
(07:13):
because marriage requires thatability, and I think that's what
we're trying to talk abouttoday, especially as a married
couple.
How do you talk about yourdreams, especially as a married
couple?
How do you talk about yourdreams, share your dreams and
then discuss what's reality?
What can we do in ourself?
Is this just something, man,I'd love to sing?
(07:37):
If you're a musician, you singcountry music.
Man, I'd love to sing on theGrand Opry, but you don't play
an instrument anymore, you don'tsing anymore.
That type of dreamrealistically probably was never
going to happen.
I mean, I think you and I welove talking about basketball
sometimes.
I mean, like Spud Webb.
(07:58):
Right, I mean everybody probablytold him it's not going to
happen.
Right, you're only 5'6".
Right, he wins the dunkcompetition.
But there are dreams that Imean he just wasn't going to
give up and he was an incrediblygifted athlete, but most people
that are 5'6 are not going toplay in the NBA.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
True.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
So there's always exceptions, I guess, is what I'm
saying.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yes, I agree.
So let's talk a little bitabout our dreams.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Sure Well, to get to our dreams, especially for us,
there's been a lot which I thinka lot of couples experience as
well too the waiting game.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
You know of wow, is this ever going to happen?
I know you and I have talkedabout this and we've talked
about you know, and I thinkwe've kind of put these two
thoughts together.
One of the things about waitingis how do you wait, how do you
communicate your frustrationsand your disappointments?
And something I know that hasreally helped us in that time is
(08:57):
sharing our dreams.
We, over the last year or so,we've had several couples that
we would meet a couple times amonth and we'd just talk about
marriage, talk about life, andthey're all at different stages.
Most of them are younger thanus.
I think we like it because itmakes us feel younger.
But anyway, it is that abilityto communicate and share your
(09:19):
dreams and have them become partof your dream as well, too.
Right, this is what we'rethinking, this is what we want
to do.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Well, I think it's important, though, when you
share your dreams, you have tobe careful who you share those
dreams with.
Oh, absolutely, I think youknow, and so when you find
friends that embrace that kindof thing, it's very helpful.
Yeah, because they can help tofan the flames inside of you for
(09:49):
things that you're looking todo Right Again as being
Christians and believing in God.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Faith is a big piece in all of this, absolutely,
absolutely For sure Our churchcommunity is Because you can't
have faith.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Sorry, absolutely.
You know for sure our churchcommunity is awesome and you
know, and I think that anyone inthe church over the years that
we've shared some things thatwe're hoping for, whatever you
know, they've been quick toencourage us and, you know, just
kind of help us keep movingtowards that, cheering us on
(10:25):
Right.
That's kind of what I'm tryingto say.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
And it goes both ways .
I mean, one of the things I'veloved most about our life group
that we had was when we sharedour dreams.
I always felt it gave thempermission to share their dreams
.
It could be going back toschool, it could be buying a
house, it could be going back toschool, it could be buying a
house, it could be wantingchildren.
So those ability to share thosedreams it kind of feeds off of
(10:47):
each other Right, start theirown business.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Exactly that type of thing.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
It feeds off of that.
So for us, I think that that'sbeen a big part of the journey
over the last four or five years, of the dream that we've, that
we've had for quite a while.
I know you've done this as welltoo, so we've shared.
So let's just get to the dreampart for us.
(11:12):
I think that's what you'reshaking your head.
The we have for the last fouror five years especially kind of
ramped up the idea of buyingproperty and having enough land
to do like a micro wedding eventand a retreat center for
couples and things of thatnature.
So initially it was just.
(11:33):
This has been our process and Ihope this helps some of you.
We talked about it Right, prayedabout it, didn't talk about it,
talked about it, prayed aboutit, didn't talk about it, talked
about it some more, talked withother people who had the same
dream, kind of forgot about it.
So it's been this process,wouldn't you say.
(11:55):
But over the last year and ahalf, I would say our, our
desire really intensified, wouldyou agree?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yes, I think so.
I was even thinking.
You know, maybe it even atfirst wasn't so much a dream, it
was just an idea.
I thought like, wow, that'd bekind of cool.
Wouldn't it buy some land andand have like a small wedding
venue of some sort on it and,like you said, have couples
could come out onto the propertyand do workshops or whatever
kind of like an idea, you know,and I don't know where it
(12:27):
shifted from maybe just an ideato like a, a dream or desire you
know, um that's good.
Yeah, you know, it was just kindof like oh wow, I think I would
really like that, I think I, Iwould.
I could say I want that.
Yes, you know, um, carrying itto, even through prayer, like,
okay, god, this is, this is akind of like a.
This is a dream, it's becominga dream, it's like a desire.
(12:50):
You feel it, you feel it insidewhen you talk about it, there's
a passion that kind of comesalong and maybe that's where it
starts moving through the phasesof a thought or an idea to a
dream, through the phases of athought or an idea to a dream,
and you hit a great word.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
So learning how to move from an idea, a dream, a
desire, to now.
How does this become reality?
What are the practical stepsthat we have to take?
What is this going to cost us?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
You know, not only money-wise but time, time wise,
all those things you have tohave and I think that's the
thing that I really want totouch on as well too is that
open communication, because youand I were talking about this in
(13:39):
the car.
We've known couples that onespouse is like really.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I mean, they just dream all the time or have ideas
.
Right, always an idea.
Hey, what about this?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
You know we could do that, and the other one may be a
little bit more practical andplay it a little bit safer.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
They're just worried about how do we pay the electric
bill and the water and feed ourchildren.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
So there's that communication, because you don't
want to stifle your spouse ifthat's how they're wired.
But you know, I will say thisas well too In that situation if
you learn how to communicate,you actually can learn how to
work that together, where thepractical and the dream can
benefit each other.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
So let's fast forward .
So over the last six months orso, we really it intensified
what we wanted to do.
We created for us, we created adream board.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Right, so explain that.
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
For me.
I'm a visual, I need visual, Ineed something, something to
look at.
I need something tangible that Ican look at and go.
That's what I want.
So between I mean I can't countthe times I would walk in.
You're watching YouTube on somechannel about people that had a
dream and they're out pursuingsomething.
(14:52):
Or tiny houses, how do youbuild them?
And I'm looking at how do yourestore barns and what's the
best tractor to buy, so you getall these things.
That's going on.
So a dream board for us wassnapshots of buildings and it
could be down to cornhole.
It was down to.
You know what is-.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Like what we would even play, right when you're
saying cornhole yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, what do we want on this property?
What type of venue are welooking for?
What's the idea of that?
And that was a.
That was a big, and we broughtthat out to one of the life
groups.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yes, when we had life groups at our house, we did and
let them see it.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, and it was.
The response was great and it'sgo.
Oh yeah, I can see it, and somepeople will journal your
thoughts.
That's a great way to do it aswell, to write down your
thoughts so you have somethingto go back and look at and
remind yourself.
But since then, to where we arenow, so it's we're again
(15:56):
excited, overwhelmed.
I don't think are big enoughwords.
I don't think I've actuallycried on the episodes I talk
about all the time.
But it's just when you're ableto put a stake literally,
physically and mentally andspiritually in the ground.
(16:20):
It just does something.
It gives you such hope.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So you got to talk a bit more in a second Catch my.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So what that looked like for us, we felt like in our
hearts and through prayer, wejust felt like God was
challenging us to go ahead andput our home on the market.
And we live in town, we live inNashville, and so we're in the
city.
We're just on a small lot in aneighborhood.
(16:54):
But he asked us and we justfelt that push kind of like a
leap of faith Okay, I'm back.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I'm back.
Wait a minute.
Before you do that, I want youto tell it, so the house that
we're in how faithful God iswhen it comes to dream and how
he literally does see thebeginning from the end.
Because when we bought thishouse, take it away.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
So when we bought this little house, really it was
all we could afford, and Ithink that we felt like, in some
ways, when we purchased thishome, that we had to settle
because financially you know,financially, this was really all
we could do was just, you know,a small house and um, and so
(17:39):
you know we came in.
The house was very dated and um.
Our home was built in the latefifties.
No air conditioning, there wasno central heater air in this
house when we moved in, and soit got very interesting when it
was in the heat of the summer orthe coldest of winter days, you
know, sitting by space heatersand wrapped in blankets,
(18:00):
watching TV, and then slowly—and from a spiritual point let
me interrupt you there.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I mean going back to what you said.
We literally felt we missed it.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, we felt like we had missed it after we moved in
we're like, did it?
Yeah, we felt like we hadmissed it.
After we moved in we're likedid we settle?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Because we felt we had done just what we could do
in ourself, right, and we didn'tfeel that our faith, we knew
there was something more, so wewere dealing with again we're
talking about dreams we weredealing with disappointment, and
so that's where we were.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
But at least we'd purchased a home.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
We're going to make the best of it.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And we did start working on the house a little
bit and you know just littlesimple things and we've been
here now for 13 years anddefinitely call this house our
home.
Yes, but as as as we stayed inthe house longer and year after
year, you know, the housingmarket starts booming.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
We do live in Nashville and we stayed in the
house longer and year after year.
You know the housing marketstarts booming.
We do live in Nashville and welive in.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Nashville, and we live only a few miles from the
heart of downtown Nashville.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Broadway.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
So you know, this neighborhood all of a sudden
becomes this hot commodity.
And you know, and yeah feltlike, ok, we're going to put the
house on the market.
And we only had the house onthe market a few weeks and we
were under contract.
It was just wild.
It was like wow, this is movingfast.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
A little scary because we had nowhere to live.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Right, it's like the first week.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
it's on the market and people keep coming in and
looking, but our realtor, beckyPendergrass, shout out to Becky.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Love her.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yes, love her yes.
She told us yeah, she's likewe're going to find something.
We're going to find somethingand we really wanted to move
more outside of town.
Like I said, our dream was toown land, and lo and behold this
property just pops up.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Here's the miracle.
So we want to encourage you ifyou're out there listening, if
you've got dreams we had seenthis property that we really,
really liked.
So we told Becky say, hey,let's get on a call tomorrow and
we want to show you this houseand let's talk about it.
From that day to again, ourhouse just went under contract.
(20:03):
The next day we pulled this upwith Becky and the house had
dropped $62,000.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Yes, the next day.
Yeah, the next day.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
And you just go in.
Okay, God, I get it.
Okay, this is just lining up.
It doesn't make any sensenecessarily, but it's to a point
.
But you're working on thingsthat are good here.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
So we go see it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Go see it, love it, put an offer on it and go right
under contract.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
And so all of this change happened within just a
number less than three weeks.
Our house is under contract.
Our new home that we're goingto purchase, we're under
contract.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But it's happened and because, again, going back to
what you shared, we thought we'dmissed it.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Right Years ago, 13 years ago.
Fast forward, fast forward.
This home was a fabulousinvestment, and so we, you know
the equity that was built in wasincredible.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
We, you know, we're selling it Four times, four
times what we purchased it for.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Because, you know, the market has just changed in
this area.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Now, yeah, like we said, it's just so God really
does see the beginning from theend.
He does go bigger.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
So what we really does have a plan right when we
couldn't see moving in as we'releaving, we can see that his
hand was in all of it and thatyou know everything was just was
our dreams were coming, but wejust had to wait you know and um
, and so we're super excited and16 acres 16 acres Um.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
so if you follow us on Instagram, we've got a little
picture.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
If you see us on Facebook, you can see that and a
beautiful little home had beentotally redone.
Because that's that was ourdilemma.
We we'd find land, but thehouse was, you know, possibly
haunted we wouldn't for sure orwe'd find a nice house with not
enough land, and so now thatwe've found both, I mean it
literally is going to give us Imean, trust me, there's more
(21:57):
things to come, there's morefaith.
We've got to have morestructures, we've got to build
and all those type of things.
But it has been, it hasrestored our hope so much.
And again, that's what I hopeyou hear.
Today is 13 years ago.
We couldn't see that.
It wasn't even a dream then tohave to do this type of thing.
Then, 13 years ago, oh no.
(22:20):
So this is something that wasbirthed once we moved here and
then continued to do marriagecounseling and coaching, but
again from the disappointment ofwhat we thought because we
thought we did something wrongto where we are now.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Right, right the excitement.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
I know it's so good yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
So we just think, you know, just hope our story and
our testimony really encouragesall of you guys out there.
I will say along the way, overthe years I know one thing that
has helped me so much withdreaming I follow a YouTube
channel.
Actually, I just love YouTubeand you know that I do, oh my
(23:02):
God, every morning.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I mean I love YouTube , every morning you can find
anything.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
That is true, and so what I started doing probably
now it's been at least fouryears ago, I would say I started
looking for channels on YouTubethat would um encourage me and,
like I love gardening and I'vetalked about that a lot over you
know the podcast I love gettingout and I am still learning.
(23:31):
Yeah, rob loves the okra that Ithat I grow, but, you know, just
learning how to garden andbecome more sustainable.
So I started following, um, youknow, different channels that
support that kind of thinkingand, um, I have one that I just,
I really love.
I've talked about even beforeon one or two of the episodes,
(23:53):
but it's about a family that youknow purchases land and what
that looks like to turn that rawland into gardens and
greenhouses and you know andeverything that they're dreaming
about.
And they're homesteaders for themost part.
I don't know if Rob and I willbe homesteaders with multiple
animals and all of that ever.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I'm buying a tractor.
That's all I know.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But I guess, yeah, rob keeps saying we're going to
be farmers.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
And if you guys know us.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Some of you know us very well.
I don't know if I always wouldhave thought I'd be a farmer one
day.
We're going to grow pumpkins.
We're going to grow pumpkins.
We're going to grow some stuff.
Yeah, we're going to have fun,but you know it, it those kinds
of channels and and finding umthings to encourage you, the.
(24:41):
The one statement um Jess Sowersis is the woman who's on the
one channel that I love so much,and and one of her favorite
little mottos that she has forher life is turn your waiting
room into a classroom, and Ilove that and I really took that
to heart, even when thisproperty seemed like something
way off in the future.
I would try to find ways toturn that waiting into something
(25:05):
productive and and and learn,learn, just just learn.
And and I'm so thankful becausethis little yard here in our
home has been a great practicelawn for all sorts of things
that I've grown, and I'mthankful, you know I'm really,
really I'm thankful.
So I know this may not be yourdream, maybe you know, but but
(25:29):
whatever it is that, whateverthat dream is, it's Doing things
that can help you learn.
You know it keeps that fuel onthe fire of your dreams, and it
doesn't necessarily even have toalways cost a lot of money.
You know to do it, but it'sjust finding practical ways to
(25:52):
keep moving forward, movingforward.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Well, one of the things that I love of a lot of
the shows that you watch andthen I watch them as well too is
the honesty that most of themwell, I would say all of them
that you watch or you've had mewatch have.
So it's the dream, the process,the failure.
(26:14):
Again, we talked about thedisappointment.
This is something we're wantingto do, but it looks like we're
not going to be able to rightnow.
And what does that look likeand how do you walk that out?
And again, going back to whatwe said about couples, again, I
totally agree with you on thatis you can't share your dream
with everybody.
(26:34):
I agree with that.
But you do need to find evenyou two but like-minded people
that you can share your dreamswith and then go one, maybe it's
.
I'm sorry that happened.
I understand the disappointment, right when things don't work
out Exactly.
But I'm still with you.
I still believe in your dream.
Sure, you know.
So I think you've got tosurround yourself.
(26:57):
You know I used to share thisall the time.
Whatever you know, I used tosay show me your five closest
friends and I'll let you knowwhere you're at.
You know, if they're still onlydrinking beer and pizza, you
probably need drinking beer andpizza drinking beer and eating
pizza.
Well, if you drink enough beer,you may think you can drink a
pizza.
I'm not sure, but that'sanother story in itself.
(27:21):
I don't know, we just fell offthe wagon folks.
Here we go, Back on track, Backon track.
You've got to surround yourselfwith people.
That again, I want to becareful with this too.
I'm not saying I have to agreewith you, but are like-minded.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
You know, because you need that pull.
And you know, even in marriage,you and I, again even tonight
before the podcast, we'retalking about some different
things.
Like it's, like you know, I'vehad I'm thinking about something
a lot and you're like tellingme now what you think.
So now I have to think aboutwhat you've said.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
So it's, it's that it's that and so I think okay.
So I'll push back on that alittle bit.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
That's been a big word for us, just if you're
going to push back.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I was going to say you want to be around people
that are like-minded, yes, butthen you also want to have
people that think differentlythan you, because they can see
things that you can't.
That's what I meant.
I'm not saying they always haveto agree with you.
You may not.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
And that's what happened with us tonight as we
were talking about.
Well, why do you think that'sbetter?
Why is that choice and I'mwired, you know?
Again, this is being veryvulnerable because, if I've had
a lot of time to think about itand you will use that word again
(28:35):
push back a little bit.
We talked about tonight going.
Oh, I need to know that you'renot upset with me.
This is you talking to me, butyou're just now needing time to
think about what I've said.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Sure.
So, within anything.
I think that any kind ofpartnership when it comes to
marriage and and ideas and plans.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Right.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah that you're going to face that.
Oh, you know, that's just partof married life.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Right, because again, this is still, I believe, part
of dreaming.
We've talked about this manytimes before on some previous
episodes Offense kills healthyconversation, true, and if
you've got to be willing andagain, I'm not always I'll be
the first to say I don't alwaysdo a great job Again, I'm not
(29:17):
always I'll be the first to sayI don't always do a great job we
were talking tonight and shesaid your face is saying
something totally different.
And I go well, I can't help myface to a point.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
So I shut my eyes.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
So yeah, don't look at me.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Don't stare at me.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Listen to the words I'm saying, but don't look at my
face.
Don't look at my face Because,again, I'm not a very good poker
player.
When it comes to that.
I can't hide things.
They'll say I wear my emotionson my sleeve.
But when I communicated that toyou tonight, even though I've
told you that multiple times,you said, hey, I still need to
hear that every now and then,hey, I'm okay, I'm just needing
time to think.
Don't judge my face.
(29:56):
I may be not struggling, butthe pushback may make me go.
Oh well, is this the rightdecision?
Is this not the right decision?
And I think that's healthy aswell, too.
You've got to have that.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Oh, you do.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
In marriage or friendships.
I love our daughter, Madison.
She works at a place, she justgot a promotion and she has a
great mentor there, and he'lljust say things to her like well
, that's not right.
You know, this is something youneed to look at and be aware of
.
And it's like, oh, okay, well,yeah, and that can be difficult,
(30:32):
even in marriage, because it'snot the point of always.
What's our statement?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
You don't always have to think alike, but you do have
to think together.
Yes, love that, it's one of myfavorite quotes, and that's one
of the main things.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Well, I think, at least for us, if you're a
dreamer out there, or you havedreams, surround yourself with
good people.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Surround yourself with people that do think
different than you, that youtrust.
Keep your faith up, and for us,that's the thing You've got to
keep trusting God, even if youfeel you've missed it.
He does have a plan and nothingis called Him by surprise.
And even if you miss it,supposedly, whatever that is,
(31:14):
I'm not sure what that meansanymore Journal.
Whatever you've got to do, butdon't give up on your dream, but
be flexible enough to know thatsometimes dreams change and I
think the hardest thingsometimes, if we feel like a
dream dies, that can be tough,but sometimes it just may go in
(31:38):
a different direction and Ithink you've got to be willing,
especially as a believer, sayGod, this is something I desire,
but if you have somethingbetter for me and I don't mean
that I want to be careful, thatis not an out to not pursue
stuff or keep believing.
That's not what I'm sayingeither.
What I am saying is sometimesGod said I have a.
(32:00):
If you trust me, I have abetter way.
You know cause?
I mean we, we know countlesspeople is that well, I mean for
us, we're.
You know, this is not where wethought we were going to end up
when we were in our earlytwenties.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
No, yeah, I mean our late twenties, when we first got
married, late 20s, late 20s.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
But it's a good path.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
And we just totally believe.
And again, even as we move on,if God says, I've got something
else in mind for you, then Iwant to be open to that as well
too.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Right, it's an adventure, it is.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
It is, but dreaming's good, so keep dreaming.
Yes, and just being honest, weclose in a few weeks on our
house, so keep those things inprayer as we move.
14 years of boxes oh my gosh,we've got boxes and stuff I've
forgotten about everywhere.
So not quite for sure when ournext episode will be.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
So it could be Christmas.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
It could be Happy New .
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Year, I don't know Hell.
Here we are, 2025.
But we'll be back soon.
Thanks for your support.
Thanks for always listening forthose that listen and tell a
friend.
Again, we're still trying togrow this.
We'll keep you updated.
We've got some things in thework with the property.
We're working on the name ofthat.
(33:20):
So as soon as we have some ofthese things in place we'll be
letting you know about that andthen if you know people that
want to get married coming upnext year, you'll know who to
call.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
All right, well, thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
See you, guys, soon.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
See you, bye.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
You've been listening to Marriage and Us, with your
hosts, Rob and Robin Adkins.
Stay up to date by followingthem on Instagram at
marriageandus underscore podcastand on Twitter at marriageandus
.
Also hit the follow button soyou never miss an episode from
your favorite couple.
You.
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