S3E08 The Marriage Journey: Laughter, Love and Lessons

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Join Robin and Robin as they sit down with their friends, Jason and Lindsey, for a hilarious and heartwarming chat about their journey together! From their first meeting to the ups and downs of marriage, we dive into their love story, sharing laughs and insights along the way. Tune in for a blend of humor and heartfelt moments that celebrate the beautiful tapestry of partnership!

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Music by - Roger Jaeger - from the album (Fall Off the Earth)
Produced by - Jared Nester
Outro by - Madison Nester

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_03 (00:03):
I'm Rob.
And I'm Robin.
Thanks for listening to Marriageand Us.

SPEAKER_04 (00:08):
Each week we will talk about real life topics that
couples experience in everydaymarried life.

SPEAKER_03 (00:15):
So let's get to today's episode.
Hello, everybody.

SPEAKER_04 (00:25):
Hi, guys.

SPEAKER_03 (00:26):
Welcome back in.

SPEAKER_04 (00:28):
Good to see you.
I don't know.
I guess we can't see anything.

SPEAKER_03 (00:31):
No, I can see you.

SPEAKER_04 (00:33):
And I can see you.
So but I'll visualize all ourfriends out there.

SPEAKER_03 (00:36):
Yes.
It's good to be back.

SPEAKER_04 (00:38):
Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 (00:38):
It's been a little while since we've done an
episode.

SPEAKER_04 (00:41):
Yeah, too long.

SPEAKER_03 (00:42):
Life.

SPEAKER_04 (00:43):
It's been a busy summer.
It's been happening.

SPEAKER_03 (00:45):
It has been.
Yeah.
Like going on.

SPEAKER_04 (00:47):
Good things.
It is.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (00:49):
I I know we talked the last time you had recently
retired from the hospital.
I think that was one of the lastepisodes we did.

SPEAKER_04 (00:56):
Wow.
Yeah, that was back in June.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it has been a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01):
Growing your okra, tomatoes, yeah, working on the
garden.
Working on the garden.
And you've been working out too.
That's something you've juststarted there.
Yeah.
The guns.
I'm flexing right now.
I wish y'all could see that.
That would be great.
There are some gun shows goingon here.
So but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19):
Maybe one day.

SPEAKER_03 (01:20):
Yeah.
We'll take a picture of that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:22):
Um, no, let's don't.

SPEAKER_03 (01:23):
Okay.
All right.
I just thought I'd throw thatout there.
Um we so when we decided, like,hey, it's time to do another
episode, we said, well, why dowe want to do it by ourselves?
Why not have two of our mostfavorite peoples?
Peoples?
Yes.
That's what the kids say.
Two of our most favorite peoplein the whole wide world come and

(01:45):
talk about life, talk aboutmarriage.
Yeah, I'm I'm who knows whatelse?
Yes.
Here's what I'm trying to say.
The outtakes of what we cannotput on the air right now have
been so hilarious.
But I wish you were here in theroom with us.
It has been very funny.
But we are so glad to have oursome of our literally our
bestest friends in the wholeworld.

(02:07):
Everybody knows Jason.
Jason.

SPEAKER_01 (02:09):
Hey there.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (02:10):
So, Jason, if you listen to uh my podcast, the uh
just everyday guys, Jason's beenon there multiple times.
He's the OG.

SPEAKER_02 (02:17):
Yeah, that's it.
Yes, I must have done somethingright.

SPEAKER_03 (02:21):
Oh man, I love it.
It's been so good.
And but making her firstappearance, yes, we're so
excited to have his wife,Lindsay.
Lindsay, say hello.

SPEAKER_05 (02:32):
Hello, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 (02:33):
See, doesn't she sound great?
She's amazing.
I know.
I mean, it's a natural, it'samazing.
That's all she she may that maybe all she says the rest of the
night.
She's gonna say more.
She is that is pretty dang good.
That was really, really good.
Good start.
Good start.
So tonight we're just gonna uhkind of what we typically do.
You you guys, I know Jason'salready said, but you know,

(02:54):
before we do that, because we dohave people that'd be listening
to us that don't listen to theother podcasts, so just tell a
little bit about yourself and uhone of our favorite questions.
I know Lindsay's gonna sharethis story, is uh you know, how
you guys first met and firstdates and all that kind of
stuff.
So fill us in a little bit aboutwho you are and your life and
all that kind of good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 (03:13):
So we're we're um yeah, we're excited.
Thanks for having us.

SPEAKER_01 (03:17):
You're welcome.
Thank you so much.
We're excited.
We're excited.

SPEAKER_02 (03:20):
Yeah, it's been great, wonderful dinner.
Um, but we're excited to to behere, be a part of um this the
story called life, right?
Yeah, so here was my beautifulbride.
Uh, we've been married 24 yearsas of September 29th.

SPEAKER_01 (03:38):
Congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 (03:39):
This uh yeah, 24.
I'm still making plans for 25.
Like, what do you do for 25?
So I'm excited.
That's a new adventure.
Looking forward to that.
But um, we're happily married.
Yes.
Um, it's not easy, but it's thebest decision I've ever made in

(04:00):
my life.

SPEAKER_05 (04:01):
Amen.

SPEAKER_02 (04:02):
And we have five amazing children.
Yes, you do, and they keepgetting older.
I know, and growing and eatingus out of house and home.
And so our oldest.

SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
Your oldest one is how how tall?
Lindsay, how tall is your oldestone right now?
What six, what?

SPEAKER_05 (04:16):
Well, wait, our oldest daughter.
No, oldest son.
He's six five.
Six five.
Yeah.

unknown (04:23):
Wow.

SPEAKER_05 (04:23):
Oh, when the one right below him is six four.
Wow.
And then King just passed me up.

SPEAKER_01 (04:28):
They're just growing.
It's crazy.
Wow.
It's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 (04:30):
And then your oldest is Aiden.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
Aiden.
She just and she's about to turn21.
21.
Yeah, in November.
Well, here in a few weeks,actually.

SPEAKER_02 (04:38):
Time flies.
And then our youngest daughter,Avery, she's 11.
Yes.
Just precious Jim.
She has my heart.
And uh, yeah, so we're excitedto to share.
Um, yeah, and be a part ofsharing our story and talking
about the things um that aremeaningful to us, as well as
maybe talk about some hardthings that we still to this day

(05:02):
in 24 years of amazing marriageand um with lots of highs and
some lows, yeah, and yeah, somein-betweens.
And uh yeah, so okay, Lindsay.

SPEAKER_03 (05:15):
So Jason's built it up.
So tell me, so how how did y'allfirst first meet?
I know now you're a Texas girltoo, right?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
So I just wanted to clarifybecause that's that that's a big
deal.
You just don't say that lightly.

SPEAKER_05 (05:31):
We're in Texas, uh, right by the airport, in between
Dallas and Fort Worth.
Okay.
Town called Bedford.

SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
Right by the airport.

SPEAKER_05 (05:41):
I'm sorry, that just dropped me funny.
We live right by the airport.
More people know where theairport is.
Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (05:48):
I think when you live by the airport that it's
very loud.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (05:53):
Was it yeah?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess I got used to it.
How about you?
Yeah, because we grew up a milefrom each other.
What?
Which is crazy.
And we didn't never know eachother.
I didn't know them.

SPEAKER_02 (06:03):
Never did.
I was homeschooled, she went tohigh school, and we decided to
meet in Toronto, Canada.

SPEAKER_03 (06:10):
What?
What?
How Tex what?
Yeah, Texas to Canada?
Yeah.
Okay, so how did that happen?

SPEAKER_05 (06:19):
Oh goodness.
Let's see.
I had just started visiting achurch that he helped start.
And by my second visit, I thinkI felt like the Lord said to go
on this trip that I heard themannounce was which was up to
Toronto.

SPEAKER_01 (06:33):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (06:33):
I knew one other person at that church.
And so because I was so latesigning up and I was, you know,
20, I just went by myself.
I was like, I'll just meet youguys up there.
Okay.
Because plane tickets werealready bought, all the things
were already done.
So flew up there, connected withthe church, and still had never
talked to you.
No.
Um, and then by the last night,he had come over and introduced

(06:58):
himself.
Am I missing anything?
No, you're doing great.
And we were in the hotel lobbytalking till 4 a.m.
that morning.

SPEAKER_02 (07:08):
Yeah.
Wow.
Just and that's when we foundout that we lived like you live
where?

SPEAKER_05 (07:12):
Right.
Yeah, literally one.

SPEAKER_03 (07:19):
By the airport.
I just want to clarify.
Of course.

SPEAKER_02 (07:22):
It's important.
It's a big airport.
Right.
I've been through there.
It's hard to miss.

SPEAKER_04 (07:29):
Um, but so then you freak out because you're like a
mile and a half from each other.

SPEAKER_02 (07:34):
And then growing up, talking about youth groups.
Like we were we we talked aboutsome of the lock-ins that we
did.

SPEAKER_05 (07:40):
That we were probably at.

SPEAKER_02 (07:41):
That we were probably at no way.
Never knew, never met.
Um I guess I missed a piece ofthe story.
What's that?
Yeah, what's that?

SPEAKER_05 (07:50):
So that would have been in what April?
Yes.
Probably of of 2020.
Whoa.
Wow.
So, but in January, I went to adrum circle hosted by his church
in a place called Deepellum.

SPEAKER_03 (08:03):
What what wait man?
What's a drum circle?
What is a drum circle?

SPEAKER_04 (08:07):
Robin, do you know?
Uh, I'm getting do you play likeright hand on one drum and left
hand on the other drum?

SPEAKER_02 (08:14):
Epic.
No.

SPEAKER_04 (08:15):
Okay, I'm just taking a shot in the door.

SPEAKER_02 (08:17):
Okay, go.
So it's we just had a bunch ofpercussional instruments like
chembees and tembales andvarious different instruments.

SPEAKER_05 (08:28):
And it was on top of a bar that we did?

SPEAKER_02 (08:30):
Yeah, it was on yeah, I was at a club in D.
Vellum, which is an area inDallas where there's lots of
clubs and various differentthings.
And we were playing music andjust worshipping Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 (08:42):
Oh, okay.
I was just trying to clarifywith that was part of church, or
if like when you steered off apath and now you're on top of
the city.
It wasn't like the church'sministry to go and do this
right.

SPEAKER_01 (08:52):
Right.
No.

SPEAKER_05 (08:52):
Okay, a good clarification.

SPEAKER_06 (08:54):
I'm following.
Okay, I'm with you.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (08:56):
But I ended up going with that one friend that I knew
and saw Jason there.
And I remember saying to thatfriend, I was like, Man, who's
that?
And he goes, Oh, that's Jason,but he's taken.
Oh.
I remember thinking, man, whyare all the good ones taken?
So fast forward.
Yeah.
That that night when we stayedup in the hotel lobby talking

(09:16):
till four, like the Lord justdeposited something in my heart
for Jason.
And so I had a twinkle becauseat one point Jason looked at me,
he's like, this twinkle in youreye.
I remember thinking, yeah,that's for you.
You said that?
You had I did.

SPEAKER_03 (09:29):
That's a smooth line.
Wow.
You like that?
Yeah.
I was thinking, if you're singleout there, you have permission
to use that.
Yeah.
If you have a twinkle.

SPEAKER_05 (09:36):
The twinkle, yeah.
I remember thinking, yeah,that's for you.
Maybe figure this out.

SPEAKER_02 (09:40):
I know.
So yeah, so we then we've cameback home and you know, I had I
just come through uh a verychallenging relationship, really
the only relationship I was everin, and um just dating
relationship.
Um and it wasn't long season init, but I just um yeah, I got a

(10:03):
massive encounter with the Lordwhen I was up in Toronto.
And when we came back, um westarted hanging out and um uh
going to Wendy's drive-thru andsitting, having frosties.
There were high rollers, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (10:22):
It's the only way to eat all right, it's the best.

SPEAKER_02 (10:25):
And I I I just things were we just loved
hanging out, being together, andnot really defining it, just
enjoying each other's company.
And I realized I needed to totake a that was moving pretty
fast, and I didn't want tomislead her.
And so I asked her, I'm justit's like yesterday standing out

(10:48):
in my parents' driveway tellingher, hey, I I need to I need to
pause this, whatever this is,however will you wait for me?

SPEAKER_03 (11:00):
And that was that was um I can I can remember
going to And why why I mean wasit because obviously the
connection through church andGod, was it uh something because
you knew where it could be andyou were uh asking yourself
questions about what how whatwhat yeah, what is that?

SPEAKER_02 (11:22):
Yeah, I think it was more so the dust of the previous
relationship that I had notyeah, I can remember.
I I needed to to get some thingsum physically, mentally,
emotionally, spiritually, justrealigned because when I got
into that relationship, um atfirst one I really ever had, and

(11:42):
then we're talking 18 years old,because I was just life was full
and busy and doing things, and Ididn't really start dating till
later.
But um yeah, I got into therelationship and it was more
about me trying to be the saviorfor her.
And there were a lot of thingsthat I gave in that

(12:04):
relationship.
Um that I I needed to spit justtake a step back and realize
that you know, this is obviouslywhat's happening between at the
time was this amazing personthat I'm you know experiencing
life with, Lindsay.
Um I I've I felt it really holyand sacred, and I just didn't

(12:27):
want to mess it up and try toget some things right.

SPEAKER_03 (12:32):
How for you obviously the twinkle in your
eye, let's go back to that.

SPEAKER_05 (12:37):
D did you uh kind of know what it sounds like pretty
quick that Yeah, I guess I didbecause even when he was saying,
like, hey, I need to I need topause, I just was fine to still
be present, but not have anyexpectations and just yeah,
whatever whatever he needed.
I I didn't feel like a threat tome.

SPEAKER_02 (12:58):
It just felt like a genuine like he just needs time
and there was no qu qu on for meas I'm stumbling over my words,
as I'm reflecting backwards.

SPEAKER_03 (13:10):
Well, you just looked at Lindsay's, that
happened.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (13:14):
The like in saying that, those words literally I
saw them coming out of my mouthas I was saying this, knowing
that not knowing what she wouldsay, sure, hoping that she would
say sh yes.
However, there was no measure oftime that, like, hey, I need to

(13:35):
do these five steps, or I'll seeyou in a year, or see you in it
was like a pause and and notknowing it was yeah, it was it
was really scary.
Um, but I'm glad I did itbecause I needed to get some
things um between me and theLord.

(13:56):
We had to to to walk some thingsout.

SPEAKER_03 (13:59):
Wouldn't you say though, it's interesting that
we're kind of headed down thispath.
I've been listening to severalpodcasts and obviously, you
know, praying and you know,Robin and I talk about marriage
all the time, but you know, itit really is what I hear you
saying, it was that was abuilding block of trust.
You know, you may not haverecognized it in the moment, but

(14:21):
your ability to be vulnerable inthat moment and be able to take
that step back and say, youknow, there's some things in my
own life that I that I need towork on because I do recognize
that, you know, obviously we'reall believers that we believe,
you know, you were saying, Ibelieve God is in this
relationship, but I also want tobe aware of where I'm at.

(14:42):
We see that a lot.
We've talked about that, you andI have talked about this before.
We see that sometimes withcouples, you know, if because if
you've come out of a seriousrelationship and you're not at a
place like you said, mentally,spiritually healed, you know, if
you the person you're interestedin does something, it can
trigger that past relationshipto where it's like, oh, I've got

(15:02):
some unresolved issues I didn'tknow.
And they're triggering thembecause they remind me of that.
So that ability to step back.

SPEAKER_04 (15:09):
I know it's so important is I like the way you
described it, Jason, because yousaid the dust of this past
relate, you know, relationship.
And I was like, oh, I reallylove that because there's a
residual piece, you know, in inpast relationships that like
what you're saying, Rob, ifyou're not careful and you

(15:29):
haven't done the work to be surethat all of that is um what's
the word I want to use?
That it's resolved.
Resolved, thank you.
Yeah, that it's resolved, yeah.
Then then the person thenLindsay could have been it could
she could have gone through somethings that she didn't need to
that would have nothing to dowith her.

(15:50):
That would be something likeJason, yeah, from your past
relationship.
So I just love, yeah, I lovethat.
And um, I think it's soimportant, you know.
And I just think about the valuein that moment that you saw in
her that you thought, no, I'mnot going to carry any of that
with me.
I want this to be pure, I wantthis to be real, and and I want

(16:13):
to, I want to work on myselfbecause she's she's worth it.

SPEAKER_03 (16:17):
Yeah.
Well, that's a big word.
That's a big word.
I want to want you both to kindof keep top of that.
I mean, you've heard me say thiscountless time, you know,
marriage is the best hard workyou'll ever do.

SPEAKER_06 (16:26):
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (16:27):
And I think a lot of young couples are missing that
to understand, yes, there'sfairy tale moments.
You know, obviously, we we lovebeing married to these beautiful
women, and that's great.
But life happens, and what areyou going to do when it hits you
in the face?
It's moments like that, youknow, because I I heard this the
other day, you know, so it I waslike I said, I was listening.

(16:49):
So it's like trust,vulnerability, trust,
vulnerability.
It just keeps building on top ofitself.
And most of the time we'relooking for these big moments to
define us, define us, but it'sactually the small moments, you
know, because we we're reallybig, and I know you guys are as
well too you, you know, when youlose the ability to tell your
spouse thank you or be gratefulor thank you for what you do for

(17:12):
our family, those small momentsof gratitude that seem small are
actually build the buildingblocks.

SPEAKER_04 (17:18):
They're building blocks, right?

SPEAKER_03 (17:19):
So when the tough times come, yeah, you can look
back on those.
So for you, when when he toldyou that, you know, kind of turn
back the dial in your in yourmind there, there's obviously
you had a piece about that.

SPEAKER_05 (17:31):
I had a piece, and also there was sadness because I
had a lot of fun with him, and Ididn't really know if that meant
we weren't hanging out anymoreor what that really meant.
But I had such a yeah, just afoundation to just lean into the
Lord.
Cause in the end, I'd alwaysbeen praying that the Lord would
find my husband for me.

SPEAKER_04 (17:52):
Yes, I love it.
And so what a thought.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (17:56):
So so when did so we have that mind when did the
shift happen from that moment tolike, hey.

SPEAKER_05 (18:04):
I put on a bathing suit and then Yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_03 (18:11):
Texas heat, baby.
Look out, mama.
Yeah, uh when well that's sogood.

SPEAKER_02 (18:20):
I what yeah.
I'm sure no, you've got a email,and that's okay.
That's okay.
So enjoy and stay there for amoment if you need to.
I think I think that um itdidn't take long.
It didn't, which was surprising.
And I I think But it you thinkit would have if you hadn't been

(18:42):
brave enough to have bevulnerable and say I need to
step back.
Yeah, I think that's part of it,but also I would say yes, as
well as I would also say there'snot a formula to relationships.

SPEAKER_04 (18:55):
Right.
Sure.
That's so true.
Right?

SPEAKER_02 (18:58):
And so, like, I knew I had stuff, and I I I have to
deal with my stuff, but alsotoo, there's an element of like
getting that right for myself,that deposit that you were
referencing, you guys werereferencing, it creates space

(19:26):
for Jesus to be in the middle ofwhat we're hoping as we're on
this adventure together andpursuing each other in a
relationship that the worlddefines as a dating
relationship.
It set our trajectory, and evennow, as I'm thinking through,

(19:49):
even our date nights and thingsthat we talked about and the
time that we spent together andthe things that we did were
beautiful, and they stilldeposit into today.
And that's that's amazing.
And and we I didn't for me, I'ddone a lot of things wrong up to

(20:13):
that point because I thought Iknew what I wanted, or I thought
I knew how to do it, even thoughI had zero experience in it.
Sure.
Maybe that's the male thing,right?
That you've or maybe you've reada book or seen something or seen
things, you know.
I tend to, you know, and payingattention to things that are

(20:35):
going on around me too, and seethings to avoid by my friends
and the experiences they had.
Sure.
Right.
From that.
But uh, yeah, it was yeah, veryquickly.
Um we were I I came back aroundand I said, Okay, um, timeout is

(20:57):
over.
Um let's let's I I missed notbeing able to spend time with
you.
Yeah.
And uh so that was the start ofour our dating relationship.
And we went to where did we go?
Up to Oklahoma.

SPEAKER_05 (21:16):
What now?

SPEAKER_02 (21:17):
Was that Turner Falls?
Was that our first kind of whenwe rode in the truck together?

SPEAKER_05 (21:21):
Well, hang on, I want to tell this one photo
story.
Yeah, so when he when he said,Okay, I I I want to stop
pausing.
Right.
I left town.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (21:30):
Oh, that's right.
Okay, thank you.
This is great.
Oh, now this is good.
Teamwork makes the dream morework.
Yeah, you you do this with this.
We'll see you later.
Share this.

SPEAKER_05 (21:41):
I did add signed up to be a photographer for which I
don't take pictures, by the way,for a youth camp.
But a lot of my friends aregonna be there, and so I was
like, Can't is there anything Ican do?
I just want to come hang out.
And so they're like, Yeah, takepictures.
So I signed up and it happenedto be that day.
And he's like, Well, I've I'vecalled your parents, I'm gonna
talk to your parents to see if Ican date you.

(22:01):
I was like, nice, okay.
Wow, old school.

SPEAKER_04 (22:03):
Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (22:05):
And so I was up in, I drove to Oklahoma, had the
first night, it went late, stillhadn't heard from Jason.
I think he was going over atseven o'clock to meet my
parents.

SPEAKER_03 (22:15):
Yeah.
Oh, so that still happened, eventhough her she wasn't gonna be
guys.

SPEAKER_04 (22:19):
Right, that's what she's saying.
She went to camp to take photos.
He went to her parents to say,Hey, can we date?
That's boldness right there,buddy.

SPEAKER_05 (22:26):
So my girlfriends knew he was going to talk to my
parents, and they're like,Anything?
Have you heard?
Have you heard?
I was like, uh, no.
So by 11, I'm like, We had cellphones then.
We're not that old.

SPEAKER_04 (22:37):
Yeah, I mean it's 2000.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (22:39):
I was by 11 p.m., I was like, well, maybe my parents
kicked him out.
I don't know.
I don't know what's happened.
By midnight, he called.
He's like, Well, I just leftyour parents' house.
I was like, Midnight.
Oh dear lord.
What did y'all talk about?
He's like, Everything.
I was like, that's great.

SPEAKER_02 (22:54):
And it's it's true.
I told them, including the pastrelationship I had just gotten
out of.

SPEAKER_05 (23:00):
Wow.
So my parents' response was welove him.
If for some reason this doesn'twork out, can we adopt him?

SPEAKER_01 (23:10):
I love it.

SPEAKER_05 (23:12):
It's like, thanks, mom.

SPEAKER_03 (23:13):
And that's after you saw your baby pictures.

SPEAKER_05 (23:15):
That was probably after, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So he called and said, It'sofficial, we're dating.
And I was out of town for likeanother three or four days.
Yeah.
So then we did come back, I cameback in town and we did drive to
Turner Turner Falls.

SPEAKER_02 (23:27):
Yeah, it was like a you, I mean a church event
thing, young adults thing.
Oh, right.
That's right.

SPEAKER_03 (23:34):
So at this point, Fall Creek Falls, baby.
Are you like you know now?
Do you feel?
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 (23:40):
Oh, that's another fun story.
Okay, okay, yeah, tell us.
It wasn't that I didn't know,but I had never really dated.
I had like trial dates.
Sure.
And I was like, nah, you feellike a brother.
I'm not doing that.
Yeah.
Um, so about a month in, and wesaw each other all the time,
thankfully.
I was at Starbucks and he camein and sat down and he was like,
Okay, so when we get married,and I was like, Whoa, whoa, bro,

(24:04):
like I really like you, but Ineed time to let you into my
heart.
How old are you?
With the Beyonce song, put aring on it, right?

SPEAKER_02 (24:11):
I was trying to make a look.

SPEAKER_05 (24:12):
Yeah, he was like, Yeah, ready.
I was 20.
Okay, five.
One, twenty-one, yep.
And so, and he did, and we stilldated, had a great time, but
there wasn't the like continualtalk of marriage, marriage,
marriage, which wouldn't be bad,but I just knew like I'm just
getting to know you, I need timeto let you into my heart.

(24:34):
And then about five months afterthat, it was like, Oh, I love
you.
So we did the whole said I loveyou, and then you waited another
five months, and I was like,Dear Lord, I said I love you.

SPEAKER_02 (24:45):
I said I'm ready.
It's the big ring I was savingup for.
Yeah.
Interesting enough, here here'swhat a date night, typical date
night was for us.
We would go to um the this thestallion, the water, water
feature in by the airport.

(25:06):
Yeah, thank you.
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 (25:10):
The Mustangs in Las Galinas.

SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
We would go to a fast food place and get some
food and go, and they havethere's these sculptures and
there's m stones and waterfeature and everything.
And we would sit for hours andtalk about Jesus and talk about
healing and talk about why didPeter's shadow heal people and

(25:39):
it was crazy.
I mean, that was super romantic.

SPEAKER_03 (25:42):
Was that new for you based on the previous?
I mean, to be Oh, a thousandpercent.
To be it so much centered aroundJesus.
How about you?

SPEAKER_04 (25:49):
I mean, obviously you well, she said she had been
trial dating, but this was herfirst, like, you know.

SPEAKER_03 (25:54):
So to a point, I mean, you you understand how I'm
about to say you just didn'tknow any better.
This is right, this must be howrelationships are.
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (26:03):
You you talk about things that are important to
your heart and your I had I hadalso had seen friends do
relationships and uh was lovingwhat art of relationship was.

SPEAKER_02 (26:12):
Yeah.
We didn't really like it wasjust we loved being together, be
together and talk about Jesus.
Talked about yeah, a thing.
Jesus, yeah.
Drink coffee.

SPEAKER_05 (26:22):
That was pretty much yeah, good.

SPEAKER_02 (26:25):
It was it was it was an a what little do we know how
again setting the trajectory ofand look, I'm not saying this is
okay, to make it 24 years or 50years or 100 years, right?
This is the formula on how to doit, right?
However, when you'reunderstanding the importance of

(26:49):
marriage is as much about acommitment to somebody for life,
it's about friendship.
And what do friends do?
They spend time together, theytalk about the easy things and
the hard things, and they dolife together.
And yeah, that was that wasimportant for us.

SPEAKER_03 (27:12):
That's so so okay.
So I love that.
I mean, I can't believe we'veknown y'all that long.
We didn't know that can be astory.
It's a great story.
I love it.
It's a great story.
So there's the young Jason andthe young Lindsay.
Yes.
Twinkled in their eye, living bythe airport.

(27:32):
Going what so here we are now,24 years later.
What has been what I I I know Ikind of know you guys well on
this, but when we're we'rethinking about the word trust,
and we've touched on that alittle bit, and vulnerability,
what has been some of the thingsthat have helped build that

(27:56):
trust and that vulnerabilitythrough the good, the bad, the
ugly, everything in between?
What's what's some what's someof the things that you're able
to look back now over the 24years and say, man, that was a
tough moment, but obviouslyJesus being in the center, you
know, and what have you whathave you learned from that?
So let me ask you this, Lindsay.
I'll say it this way.

(28:16):
Okay.
The Lindsay now, we'll say thelint and the Lindsay five years
ago.

SPEAKER_05 (28:22):
COVID Lindsay?
Cool.
Let's talk about COVID Lindsay.

SPEAKER_03 (28:31):
When you're able to look back at your life and say,
man, I really have grown in thisarea, or I've I've worked on
myself.
What is something you'venoticed?
One is a as a wife and as amother, what what have you seen
in yourself over the last fouror five years that you're going,
man, I I I've I've done that.
I've I've worked through that,or I've what's what's that look

(28:52):
like?

SPEAKER_05 (28:53):
I think the thing that comes to mind is learning
to have the brave conversations,the hard conversations you
really don't want to have.
It's funny though, I've alwaysdone that with Jason, but
there's others that just likeyou know, other people I'm like,
well, I don't want to, you know.
But uh actually I was havingthis conversation the other day.
I'm like, it's so funny becausewith Jason, I don't feel this

(29:15):
need to like, oh, I don't wantto offend or hurt him.
It's like I live with him everyday.
Yeah, he has to know everything.
If I'm happy, sad, frustrated,if it's him I'm frustrated at, I
need to talk through it or elseit will not be fun to be
together.
Right.
But even for Lindsay five yearsago and now is that's across the

(29:36):
board.
Like I just see the value of forrelationships to work well.
You have to be willing to bevulnerable and ha say things
that might be hard.

SPEAKER_03 (29:47):
So what what I hear you saying is is that something
you feel you've you'vedeveloped?

SPEAKER_05 (29:53):
I have definitely developed.

SPEAKER_03 (29:55):
And would that come from when those tough times have
happened.
Well, I mean, you know, again,hearing you say that that, you
know, that brave communication,again, talking about trust,
talking about vulnerability,knowing that that's built up.

SPEAKER_05 (30:09):
I mean, having twenty-four years, but going
back to you know it's sointeresting that we chose to
start at the beginning, hearingyour story to where you are now,
you know, he's uh uh provenmaybe that maybe that's alright
he's kind of proven himselfthrough the hard and the he's
always proven himself as far aseven he'll bring up

(30:30):
conversations, always willing tohave the conversation be
present, even if we need to justtake a pause and just like take
a breath.
And he's just very affirming oflike I know this isn't easy but
we need to talk about this.
And just gives me such a safeplace to do that.

SPEAKER_03 (30:51):
As a woman I you know because I know you guys do
it as well too.
I know you talk to other couplesand things of that nature.
I mean we hear that a lot fromwomen when you feel like you're
in a relationship when yourhusband gives you that that
space and that safe place whereyou can share like you said
brave communication.

SPEAKER_04 (31:10):
Yeah you know that's that's a big right ladies right
oh it's huge yeah yeah I meanit's it's everything because if
you don't have that what do youhave?
A fake relationship.
Right.
You're not being honest.
There's no genuine anything.
Right.

(31:31):
You know um what I love whenwe've been married got a few on
you 35.
35 I know 35 this year and backin August.
And honestly that's that's mynumber one like as far as like
the value it's it's it'severything to be able to know I

(31:51):
can go to him and have aconversation no matter how hard
it is um knowing that it's asafe place.
Right.
That it may not be an easyplace.
Right but it is going to be asafe place because yeah there
are times I mean I'm sure allfour of us can relate to where
it's like you're just doing lifeand everything feels so great.

(32:12):
And it's like someone just comesand knocks your legs out from
under you, side swipes you withsomething that it's just seems
like what just happened and andbecause in our marriage and I
hear you guys saying the samething because we have that
safety built between us evenwhen it is so freaking hard we

(32:34):
can get back up and even look ateach other and go, I don't know
how this is going to work.
I mean I have no clue but we'vegot each other and somehow
somehow it's like got got allgot a work it out you know and
and I think that's when youreally know like man our
marriage has a strong foundationwhen we can still turn to each

(32:58):
other instead of turn away fromeach other.
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (33:01):
Yeah it's never a tag mode you know that I've
heard y'all heard y'all saythat.
I mean brave communication youcan say things but the the
purpose is Robert and I talkabout this all the time with
couples.
You know your productiveconflict means we sit we see
arguments as an opportunity tolearn something about her that I
did not know before.

SPEAKER_01 (33:21):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (33:21):
And that's not always an easy conversation but
I think about you know I reallygo back it's your story is so
great because I think about whatJason said from from the jump I
mean you guys you set I mean Iknow you can look back and see
that now but in the moment youdidn't know that you were
creating these that moment oftrust with each other by saying

(33:43):
this is where I'm at this iswhat I need in this moment for
me to be able to give what Ineed to you right and so many
couples we see don't have notdeveloped that skill right of
being open and honest.
Again not hurtful that's notwhat we're trying to say but
honest communication can hurtbut we don't want to be hurtful.

SPEAKER_02 (34:05):
Yeah which I would yeah I echo all of that and I
think you know it's importantthat it it gets even if you
establish it it gets tested nodoubt and yeah and just just
even thinking about people thatare listening out there too as
well here we are 35 years ofmarriage and 24 years of

(34:26):
marriage and you might be atyear one right or you might be
at year 50 and still lookingacross the room and and don't
know.
But I think it's important thatthe enemy would love to say that
you can't or can't have thatcommitment to communication and

(34:48):
have safety and have or maybeyou're married for the fifth
time or whatever whatever thepast or whatever you see in
front of you.
What's interesting enough is isis because in it using my words
here big words um when it getstested it it is something that

(35:16):
and for us always leaning backinto Jesus but for pe no matter
what whoever's listening you canyou can choose today to make
that commitment and and set thetrajectory sure of your marriage
today and and change it forever.

(35:38):
We were fortunate enough to sstart at the beginning of it and
yes it's been tested over theyears um but that's that's part
of it.
But you can agree you can prayyou can lean in together and
make that decision today and Ipromise you that it it's not

(35:58):
without its challenges but it'sgoing to be the best decision
you've ever made.

SPEAKER_03 (36:02):
Yeah obviously if you're listening you I mean you
don't know Jason Lindsay kind oflike we do.
And Lindsay just being callingit what it is she has no I've
always known her to be veryupfront with straight shooter
straight shooter what's going onwith that's what we love about
her or whatever.
She's also got red hair so thatkind of comes with there you go

(36:22):
redheads or whatever.
So yeah but what what would youas a couple is listening today
what would you guys say could bebecause I here's what we want to
make sure that you're listeningtoday.
The four of us sitting at thistable we'll keep it PG have been
through some stuff.
Oh man okay so understandingthat because what we're asking

(36:45):
you to do we realize isdifficult yeah having like
Lindsay said brave communicationtalking you know and again I
think what even what Jason saidyou know that'll be we we really
talk about this a lot with ourcouples knowing when you know if
if if you are a straight shooteror whatever or you maybe not a
big talker whatever the case maybe but knowing that you've got

(37:08):
to create this space between youand your husband or wife so that
you can communicate about what'sgoing on because Rob and I say
it all the time why get marriedjust stay single.
Yeah because this ain't easyright you know it's it isn't
always like I said earlier it'snot always fairy tales but it
again is the best hard work butlike I was going to ask you guys

(37:31):
it I don't want to put you onthe spot with this whatever but
like looking back you know I'veour we talk about this all the
time our parents our parents didthe best they knew how to do
when it comes to what where doyou think that was that
obviously just your desire toknow Jesus better?

SPEAKER_02 (37:46):
Was it your desire to have a better relationship
the skills that you've developedover the years was that modeled
for you or is that something youfelt like you've had to uh seek
out on your own to develop inyour relationship I think it
came out of the conversationsthat we had while we were dating

(38:08):
and the dreaming that we didtogether and the conversations
that we had I think that thosewere significant things for us
to where as we're talking aboutwhatever the topic was there was
flow of communication and weknew uh once obviously when we

(38:30):
we got engaged to as well evenas some of the conversations
like for example how many kidswe're gonna have or or other
conversations that come up orliving arrangements and all the
things that come with as you'retransitioning from being single
to being one I think that waskey at least that's what stands

(38:52):
out to me where it it just camenatural that these are pillars
that we're choosing to carryinto our relationship and
commute our love for Jesus and acommitment to communication in
all things would you say youguys had talked about that type
of stuff right from the get go?

(39:13):
Oh yeah yeah which is good whichis crazy yeah yeah I mean that
really is cool and do you thinkyou guys are a lot alike no
really I love the quick wouldn'tit no no I I don't I mean there
are there are you both loveAlabama football yeah roll time

(39:36):
and that fixes everything so butI I think there are I think that
there are certain qualitiesthere are but the things that
okay now I'm fascinated by thatso what do you think because you
guys just I mean first of all ifyou're out there as a couple and
you're in community or you're inchurch trust me people are

(39:58):
observing and watching what youdo.

SPEAKER_04 (40:01):
That's true.

SPEAKER_03 (40:02):
You know to the your detriment or to the positive of
that when it comes to arelationship you know there are
people that we know that go, wedon't want to be that couple and
then there's people go, man, wewant to be that couple they're
they're really in love.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah so that's real.
So perception is important.
So but I mean we've all I thinkwe've always just because you

(40:22):
guys seem to be so in sync witheach other.
Now I'm not saying again thatyou don't disagree.

SPEAKER_05 (40:28):
That's not what we're talking about or have
different opinions but rightwhat what would you say Yeah I'm
curious like what are you wheredo you think you're the most
different yeah Lindsay well somepeople have said I'm I can be a
little sarcastic at times.
Really?
And so my husband has beenliving with that for 24 years 25

(40:48):
years if you count dating um andthere have been moments where
he's like oh I'm gonna dip mytoe in that and see if that
works for me.
And it doesn't okay it doesn'tat all bless bless him.
Usually a kid starts cryingbless him that's how bad we're
talking so when you ask thequestion that's one thing that

(41:09):
comes to mind.

SPEAKER_02 (41:10):
Well and I I think you know I on our anniversary
night oh okay I sat across I satacross the table at your
favorite one of your favoriterestaurants probably the yes go
ahead coffee crusted filet ohyeah yeah Stony River.
Anyways so I sit across and I'mlike tears are welling up in my

(41:32):
eyes and I'm looking at her andI said I prayed for you.
However what's interesting aboutall of this is that everything
that I prayed none of that gotanswered because Jesus knew so

(42:00):
you're so much more okay goodrecovery.
Yeah that was good okay we'reback on track.
Yeah right you're so much morethan I even may she love Jesus
okay check I mean there wasthere is even in my prayers and
things that I would have evenhave remotely thought of and

(42:21):
what's interesting about it isis it's it's almost become a
every year that we are togetheror day or whatever there's
little nuggets and reminders ofyeah you you you didn't ask for
that but I knew yeah you neededit.

SPEAKER_04 (42:40):
Yes oh gosh that's so good.

SPEAKER_02 (42:42):
So the weaknesses is and and strengths things and
highs and lows we've seen thatthroughout our entire marriage
and I think that's part of thereason why for me why I say that
there are all there aredifferences.

SPEAKER_03 (42:57):
What do you most like Lindsay?

SPEAKER_05 (42:59):
What do you think you guys are I mean obviously
roll tight exactly Alabamafootball that goes out yes
exactly um we both love reallywell even like I mean obviously
thankfully us but even with justpeople like we I've observed
that we love to love on peopleand that's just a natural crime

(43:21):
here.
I know we're recipients of thatlove a lot of people and that's
just a natural thing that weboth get to do when we're you
know if he's with the guys orI'm with the girls or if we're
together like we just it's adeep passion for both of us and
it's nothing we have to try todo thankfully.

SPEAKER_04 (43:36):
Yeah yeah you both love well you do yes yeah
there's a it makes me thinkthere's a saying that Rob and I
use a lot that we tell couplesyou don't have to think alike
but you do have to thinktogether.

SPEAKER_02 (43:47):
That's a good one.

SPEAKER_04 (43:49):
You know because it's like that's where momentum
happens.
Right.
Um and all couples complementeach other as well as contrast
each other.
Right.
So when it comes to the contrasta lot of people see that as a
negative thing where really it'snot I don't think because like I
what I'm hearing you guys sharetogether is you know are those

(44:11):
areas where you pull on eachother there's like a tension
that's a good tension.
Yeah.
You know, and it it'll take youout of your comfort zone.
Marriage will take you out ofyour comfort zone.
Your spouse will take you out ofyour comfort zone.
That's very true.
You know, but sometimes youdon't realize that you need to
grow in certain areas until youfeel that tension.
Yeah.
And you start questioning foryourself.

(44:33):
And all that comes from a deeprelationship like you said where
there's this level of trust.
I know the things in my lifethat have changed over the last
35 years um areas of my lifewhere I didn't think a certain
way but but Rob lovinglychallenged me, you know, and I
uh yeah lovingly and um and Iallowed myself to then question

(44:57):
and think, hmm so let me thinkyou know be open-minded to the
suggestion or a a different wayof looking at something.
I just see so much value inthat.
And I think that I see coupleswho are young people or singles
whatever that they're lookingfor their soulmate.

(45:17):
They're looking for this personyou know like Rob and I in the
Jerry McGuire movie, you know,you complete me.
No you don't um and and becausethere's this ideal scenario in
their mind they can miss who Godmight even have right in front
of them because they're socaught up you know you know I'm

(45:40):
saying like in this uh way ofseeing that it has to be this
way.

SPEAKER_01 (45:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (45:45):
Um can you guys think of any encouragement like
if we've got people that arelistening right now that are
single anything you want to sayto that I I think be be brave in
the sense of get in communityand have fun.

SPEAKER_02 (46:06):
Take the pressure off of that's what I was gonna
say headhunting right that'sgood it is and go go like the
awkwardness I mean I talk tosingle guys a lot and and one of
the things it's like I just Idon't know I don't know what to
I don't know what to do or andobviously part of that's I'm

(46:29):
like well first start withgetting your your putting your
phone down right electronicsJesus don't get me started on
that rabbit show but but I justgo like take the pre take the
pressure off and I think thatwas fun uh for Lindsay and I was
until we decided that hey we'rea couple now like in that season

(46:57):
before that we just hung out andhad fun.
Yeah right and it just took allthat pressure and out of it and
we could enjoy being togetherand taking it for what it is.

SPEAKER_03 (47:12):
You said it earlier and and Robin and I years ago we
we didn't have this theory whereit was like I'm married to you
you're my wife you know butwe're not friends.
You know I have friends you'remy wife and then it was like we
were like you're my husband andwe looked at it and said that's
the silliest thing we've evertold anybody.
Why would we say but because sheis my best friend because the

(47:33):
definition of a friend issomebody that knows everything
about you right and still lovesyou unconditionally a true
friend.
And that just and that describesRobert I think most young
couples dating or even marriedhave a like you said have fun.
Be learn to be friends becausewhat you said I think Lindsay it

(47:54):
hit me too it's that thatability to know that you can
share anything and that isscary.
Yeah but I mean you know I knowwithout even having to ask you
guys to a point you've had tosay things hey this is how this
made me feel or when thishappened this is and and this is
or this is where I'm at in thismoment.

SPEAKER_05 (48:15):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (48:15):
And know that that's a safe right safe place.
Right?
Yes absolutely yeah you knowit's you know this marriage
thing is it is great but like alike we've said multiple times
it's it's uh it's that's why itis a journey.
Of course there's there's nodestination.
It and it it just it can growand if you're listening today I

(48:39):
mean we've got 24 years as Jasonsaid and we've got 35 it's just
it's I I wouldn't want to I lovebeing married.
I really do.

SPEAKER_06 (48:49):
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (48:49):
Even with all the stuff that we have went through
from other people to ourselvesto each other it's it's been
worth the tears and theoccasional yelling maybe you
know more you than me but anywayjust that Spanish blood in her
comes out every now and thenwhatever.

SPEAKER_04 (49:11):
But no I'm sorry I shouldn't paint you out that way
I think it's just that it tookoff me to realize the volume in
which I would share at times.
Gotcha that that Cuban thingyeah loud shield sometimes we
share at a very like raiseddecibel yeah but we don't really

(49:31):
know we do.

unknown (49:32):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (49:32):
Yeah so you had to point that out that was one of
those moments where I had to gohmm am I doing that so as I want
to shift just a second wait theparents as parents yes what do
you and this could be a veryloaded clut question so I was
almost as an ask what do youthink you know as you've
progressed as parents you knowfrom obviously you know with

(49:55):
your kids now what do you thinkyour kids would say or what do
they say what uh about you howthey better say there he is
there's Lindsay that's what Iwas waiting for.
So I mean what what do you hopeyou've instilled in them?
I guess is what I'm trying tosay.

SPEAKER_04 (50:13):
What were you Yeah or I was going to say maybe
reframe it I think I know theroad you're going down.

SPEAKER_03 (50:18):
Well that's why I said instilled.
Yeah instilled that you'rehoping that they've seen in your
marriage.

SPEAKER_04 (50:24):
Right.
Like we'll say to we say tocouples it's great if your kids
grow up and say and and they saysomething like my mom she was
just the best mom or my dad wowhe was a great dad but when your
kids can say my mom was anincredible wife that's another
thing or my dad man he loved mymom he was an incredible husband

(50:48):
to my mom and yeah I was gonnasay if if you could get into
their heads and they're watchingyou as a couple not as mom and
dad as husband and wife what doyou hope that they're they're
learning.

SPEAKER_03 (51:02):
I thought that's what I said but you said maybe a
whole lot better.
You're welcome.
It's like Cuban coming out it isLindsay what what do you what do
you think?

SPEAKER_05 (51:12):
I think I think it would be along the lines of
they're always willing to talkit out with each other and I
know it's directed towards usbut also with them and that we
love to just be together.
Like we love we just love timetogether.

SPEAKER_02 (51:34):
Family time's important in it it really is fun
just as important as a familybut also um for her Lindsay and
I to have time together just thetwo of us.
Yeah and that's been a journeyto prioritize you know when kids

(51:55):
are various ages it's it's we'reat a different season right the
kids are able to you know withhaving an 18 year old and a 20
soon to be 21 year old still inthe house you know there's
everybody could kind of takecare of themselves right and
yeah and uh but yeah I I wouldagree I wouldn't echo that that

(52:16):
that's definitely a hope and adesire to show because I think I
think ultimately for me just thethe the friendship that we and
the care that we have for eachother um and be willing to do

(52:40):
the hard things we try to liveyou know we try to live just
just let's just take the glovesoff right and just like my hey
mom and dad are having a toughtime or hey this is going on or
whatever.

SPEAKER_03 (52:56):
I mean there's let's not there's do I do that because
I know there are parents outthere that that are listening
would you say because I meanwe're a big believer in this and
it sounds like what I hear yousaying would you would you say
your kids know obviously whenthere's stress happening and
then do they do you feel likeyou guys have done a good job of

(53:16):
then walking out the other sideof that when you've come out of
stress or you call yourself outin front of them.

SPEAKER_05 (53:23):
You know, hey what what happened between your mom
and I you know that the yes Imean oh yeah absolutely we do
that and also I think I thinkthe reason that was what I said
was because that was not mygrowing up so when I say that
you know if we have toughconversations ours aren't the
screaming yelling throwingthings someone's walking out the

(53:46):
door with threatening you knowdivorce like that we made a
commitment a long time ago notto do that.

SPEAKER_03 (53:53):
Yeah so good and so we've been able to yeah would
you say they kids have seen youyou guys walk out how to resolve
something yeah in real time attimes without blowing up yeah we
don't let it get to that thatpoint.
No you guys realize how I meanI'm I'm I'm really serious about
what I'm about to say.

(54:13):
I mean I I know Robin wellenough and you guys are awesome.
Because I'm just telling youbecause you know even your story
from where you were to where youare that's I I I assume you guys
recognize that's just noteverybody's thinking out there.
You know to be willing to putthe effort in to be willing to
put the work in I mean that'swhat we tell every couple we

(54:34):
take through premarital you'vealready done more than most
couples ever do because you'rewilling to say I want to put the
work in early to start ourrelationship out.
And every healthy couple that weknow thinks like that.
You know and if you're listeningand you're not doing some of
these things we've got someencouragement.

(54:54):
It's not too late.
I don't care if you've beenmarried 10, 20, 30, 40 like
Jason said 50 years.
It's never too late to turn thedial and say okay we we can
finish this thing strong but asyou said you got to have brave
communication bravecommunication saying things like
and having conversations likeokay you know for example we

(55:17):
want to be like Robin Robinright?

SPEAKER_02 (55:21):
Roll tide.
Okay but the problem is there'sonly one sure Rob and Rob
there's only one Jason andLindsay absolutely like so and
more so the measuring stickright that we see in couples are

(55:42):
trying to be like and whateverand striving and I think that's
been a beautiful thing as I'mreflecting again on 24 years is
we've never done that as well aswe've chosen to um measure each
other in the relationship ofjust look I I'm having a bad day

(56:07):
I'll I'll carry you right umyou're having a bad day or I've
I've said this um before too aswell like I I just I just need
uh your help I I need you tolisten I need you to say those
words I need from you is ispowerful and and also saying

(56:34):
things like I need some spacejust for a little bit I'm coming
back right right right but I'mI'm gonna step into the other
room and we'll come back to thisand being able to trust that the
power of the palm right yeahyeah and don't I mean hear me

(56:55):
it's not like oh absolutely gotake your time right sometimes
it's like oh dear lord justfinish the conversation right
like please but I want to get itdone respect it enough to be
like okay and then that's mytime to be with the Lord in my
frustration.

SPEAKER_05 (57:10):
Yes and he works with me.

SPEAKER_03 (57:12):
And that look at what you just said that I'm
again I I I was talking to a guythis this past week on a job and
for me Jason knows this he doesthe same thing.
I'm always trying to find a waywell I'm kind of gauging you
know I'll say hey I was talkingto a guy at church the other day
see what type of response and itjust turned into this he's an
older gentleman turned in thisbeautiful conversation about his

(57:34):
first relationship where he iswith God he said and he said it
before I could he said I don'tknow how couples make it without
God in the center of it.
Obviously we know couples thatit can work but that ability
what you what you just saidLindsay to again not just hit
the pause button but say God I'mmanner than Hades right now and

(57:56):
I need to take a step back but Ineed to I want to invite you
into this moment because if Isay the first thing pops in my
head it probably will not gowell.
Yeah you know I mean that's likehappened for me Jason's heard
this story.
I mean when we first got marriedI I I went the opposite of my
dad my dad was a yell orscreamer fist through walls so I

(58:18):
just didn't say anything I shutdown.
Yeah so the louder she got inher mind which was loud to me
just made me shut down.
Yeah so I had to learn and we'vewe tested this word and Jason
and I talked about it many timesI had to learn that my
vulnerability didn't make meless in her eyes it actually
brought us closer.
Yeah and I think most men thatare listening to this we're just

(58:41):
we make fun yeah that just oh II sorry I'm just having all
kinds of words in my head thatI'm trying to filter myself.
That just irritates me to knowin that men have bought into the
lie that communicating with ourwives sharing our feelings being
vulnerable is somehow less makesus less than a man I I that just

(59:03):
I hate that that mindset thathappened to that.
I love sharing my life with yousaid it earlier you know what
why would I I I want to sharethese things I want to share
these moments even if they'redifficult yeah I want I want you
we're in the same foxholetogether.

SPEAKER_04 (59:17):
Exactly yes exactly yes that's I love that whole
that visual the way that youjust described it and and so
true.

SPEAKER_03 (59:25):
Yeah um but we do learn and and so as somebody's
listening I I know you wellenough I know this is not what
you're saying.
Every story every couple storyis is an individual story.
Of course but the great thing islike what we're doing here we
learn from each other we askquestions you and I both have
asked questions as husbands toeach other and as as fathers and

(59:48):
you know sons you know how howhow has this worked how have you
and you learn how to apply thosethings in your own relationship.

SPEAKER_06 (59:56):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (59:56):
There's strength in community of course strength in
couples And I think it's soneeded.
Yeah, it's so needed.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:04):
I I think I think the the if I could take a step
further is when I made thestatement about measuring, is is
if you start as a couple, if youstart measuring yourself to
other people, what happens isthat dilutes the conversation
and the intimacy that you have,particularly around, well, when

(01:00:24):
you get it to a point ofcontention, you could say, well,
they're not like this.
What are we?
Yeah.
Or I wish you were like thisperson because they treat their
that's never gonna go well.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:39):
No, it's not gonna go well.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:40):
So I ticked it.
Yeah, yeah.
No, that's good.
That's a good explanation.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:44):
Yeah, exactly.
Like you can you can find tools.
Right.
You know, we tell the premaritthe couples that go through
premarital, Rob and I can giveyou some suggestions, tools in
the tool belt and all, but thereis no way you're ever going to
be prepared to walk intomarriage fully.
You can read every book on theshelf.
That's what you're doing.
You can do everything you want.
But when you say I do, and youmove underneath that roof

(01:01:08):
together, and it's two peoplewho've come from two different
worlds, and now your worlds arecolliding and you're together,
there are all kinds of awesomethings happening, but there's a
lot of adjustment at the sametime too.
Um, and but if you can, yeah,keep in that mindset of like,
this is my story, this is ourstory as a couple, one of a

(01:01:29):
kind.
I always tell them one of akind, yeah, handcrafted, and no
one will have your story butyou.
And work it.
What do you do with it?
Even what you've learned frommom and dad, yeah, grandparents,
yeah, everybody who's gonna giveyou suggestions of what they
even think you should do as amarried couple, because
sometimes you just have thosefamily members that want to oh,
do it this way, that way.

(01:01:50):
No, it this is your story.
You may be in the same familytree, but this is your branch.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:56):
You gotta ask, you know, you gotta ask, Robin says
all the time.
You have to keep asking greatquestions, and then you've got
to learn to be quiet.
And that's tough.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:07):
That's true.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:08):
Because I heard this the other day, and this is I I
think this is a powerfulstatement.
You should never ask a questionif you're not expecting an
honest response.
Right.
That's good.
But most of us, let's just bereal, yeah.
We're we're not taught that innot only in in marriage, but in
life in general.

SPEAKER_06 (01:02:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:28):
We're really asking a question because we want you
to agree with us.
Absolutely.
Yep.
Versus well, you've never donethat before.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:39):
I'm joking.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:41):
We couldn't tell.

SPEAKER_06 (01:02:44):
But right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:45):
But yeah, I mean, think about it.
And that's what you said,Lindsay.
It's that brave communication,that ability.
Yeah.
Because it if if like what youguys have done so well to
explain it, and I if if you letme back up.
Some it feels most of the timeI'd say for Robin and I that I

(01:03:06):
know she's for me.
But there has been momentsbecause of maybe what I saw as a
kid, uh lies that I've boughtinto about myself, or my, you
know, I you know, my lack ofself-confidence in myself, that
she says something, I hear it adifferent way.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:23):
Sure.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:24):
You know, but but if if you're brave enough to keep
asking questions from the pointof saying this is worth it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:35):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:35):
And i I know, I know Robin loves me.
So even if she says it to mewrong, I know she loves me.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:43):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:44):
And that's that's kind of been our Jason and I've
talked about that.
That's kind of our bottom.
That's uh, that's our baseline.
I'm for you, you're for me.
Yeah, and we're not going belowthat.

unknown (01:03:53):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:54):
Right.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:55):
And that's what I hear you guys saying about about
yourself.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:58):
Yeah.
The greatest, the greatestdecision that I've ever made was
not to put a ring, five, figureout how to buy a ring for her.
It was the invitation of when Igot up, when I knew that she was
the one, it wasn't like flashinglights and all the things that
I'd pictured in my mind or clearword or anything.

(01:04:20):
It was like I cannot see myselfgetting through the rest of my
story on this earth without nothaving her alongside of me in
that story.
And yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:37):
Wow, this is good.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:39):
Before we before we wrap up here, um, if you guys,
whichever one we're gonna gofirst, is there if if you I know
you do talk to couples, is thereanything that crosses your mind
about something you want to sayto encourage them or something
that, man, I wish I'd known thisback then, what I know now?
And you know, there's nopressure there, but if there's

(01:05:00):
anything, you know, somebody'slistening today that might be in
a place of like of whatever,yeah.
Anything hits your spirit oryour heart?

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:08):
Um, I just going back to something I we said
earlier on the pause, um whenyou when you are ready or
needing a pause, make sure thatyou are very intentional about
when you're gonna be back.

SPEAKER_06 (01:05:26):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:26):
Set a deadline.
And and it could be just I need10 minutes, right?
But be clear on like, okay, Ineed 10 minutes, but I'm going,
I'm gonna get in my truck, I'mgonna go, I'm gonna go for a
walk or whatever.
Like be transparent, right?
Right, be willing, and make sureyou're how you're walking out

(01:05:47):
the door or walking, but just beintentional about putting those
parameters around incommunication, just saying, hey,
I need I just need a a a pause,I'm coming back.
You know, something I I've inthe highs and in the lows,
something that I've used a lotin our discussions um and just

(01:06:10):
in relationship is is I'vealways said I'm not I've always
told Lindsay I'm I'm not goinganywhere.
I'm I'm right here.
I'm not going anywhere, I'mright here.
Um it goes goes a long waybecause yeah, and it not
everything's shuns, shine, androses.
Sometimes the Mondays are longerthan just one Monday.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:33):
Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:34):
Yeah.
What about you, Lindsay?

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:37):
I think the main piece of advice, at least a big
one, that I tell newlyweds aboutis for some reason when people
get married, people just want tobe like, Oh, that first year is
so hard.
It's so hard, it's so hard.
And so I'm so glad you're sayingthis right now.
Thanks.
For um our marriage before wewere married, anytime that would

(01:06:58):
happen, I would just take thatthought captive.
I would just give that to theLord and pray against that.
And maybe we had the best firstyear ever.

SPEAKER_06 (01:07:05):
Yeah, so true.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:06):
Because it feels like if you're not intentional
to address that, then you justkind of buy into it.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:14):
Wow.
That's good.
It's really good.
Yeah.
Good thoughts for sure.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:20):
Robin, any any final thoughts?

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:23):
Just thankful for our time together.
Oh, yeah.
It's great to have greatfriends.

SPEAKER_03 (01:07:27):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:28):
Um I love the fact that I always tell Rob, I don't
know who's gonna listen to thispodcast, but if it was just for
us, oh we get as much out ofthem as I don't care if any of
them are.
You know, it's like it's just sogood.
Because it yeah, it causes youto think, and there's uh I feel
so much gratitude sitting herewith the four of us, you know,
just like man, God, you're sogood.

(01:07:49):
Like, you know, you just I feellike he's just kind of shining
down on us, and um, and so yeah,I'm leaving encouraged, just so
encouraged.
So thank you guys, thank both ofyou.
It's just awesome.
You're welcome.
It's been great.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:03):
Thanks for having us.
Yeah, I mean, you know, it'swe've we've done we've done life
together with you guys.
I mean, we've been to yourhouse, we've watched football
games together, we've roll time,we've right, we've eaten chicken
wings, we've done you know,we've done all those things.
These famous chili chili.
See, I know, yeah.

(01:08:23):
Chili, you know, and we'veprayed with each other.
Yeah, um, you've prayed for me,I've prayed for you, vice versa,
on the other side of the table.
Yeah, so so it's those momentsin not you know, like what we
talked about, where that trustand vulnerability are layers
like bricks that are stacking,you know.
You we trust you guys, you know,and because we've shared, you
know, I've shared things withJason besides Robin that I

(01:08:46):
probably share with nobody else.

SPEAKER_06 (01:08:47):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:48):
Yeah, you know, and those, ooh, I'm about to about
to go.
You know, and you just don'ttake those things, I don't take
those things lightly.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:56):
Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:57):
You know, and it's the same thing in marriage, you
know.
I don't take the person thatsits across from me that I've
been married to for 35 years, Idon't take this relationship
lightly.
So I cherish it, I honor it, I'mthankful for it.
So, and that's the same thingwith you guys.
I mean, we're grateful for youguys, you know, that you've been
in our life all these years.

(01:09:18):
And yeah, it's just, you know.
So if you're listening today, beencouraged.
You know, wherever you're at inyour walk, in your marriage, or
if you're not married yet, justknow that God, God, and I know
this sounds so cheesy, but hereally does have a plan for you.

SPEAKER_06 (01:09:33):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:34):
But you have to choose to put him first.
Yeah.
That's why going back to whatLindsay said from the get-go,
this was my prayer, this waswhat I was looking for.
This is this these were thethings I needed.
Even if you're opposites onother things, when you when you
settle on it in your heart, God,I'm not selling for anything
except the best that you havefor me.
Because you said, Rob, it, youknow, and again, I I don't want

(01:09:56):
to just labor this point, butyou know, this whole soulmate
thing, I I'm not, I'm notreally, I don't really buy into
that.
Because I mean, the person thatRobin's married to now, and
Lindsay would just say the samething about you, Jason, the
person you are now, yes, there'ssimilarities, but we've all seen
growth in each other as ahusband and a wife.

(01:10:16):
Absolutely.
Yes, for sure.
You know, and that's and that'sall we can hope for.
And we hope other people, youknow, watch that and observe
that and watch us as we grow.
So yeah, thanks for again comingout.
Thank you so much for having us.
We love you guys.
Love you both.
Yep, so thanks again for tuningin.
Uh, make sure to hit that likebutton.
See you guys.
See you.
Bye.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:38):
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