October 30, 2025 • 27 mins
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Most episodes, Vanessa is chatting with colleagues about the root causes of math anxiety/trauma and exploring how math education can change to avoid causing them.
But as long as math remains a 4-letter word for some, we need some practical coping strategies! So today, Vanessa details 5 ways you can flip anxious math moments into empowering ones - for teachers, parents, and students.
Learn how to:
- Trade control for curiosity
- Admit what you don't know
- Not be afraid to follow tangents in class
- Coregulate before you educate
- Heal your own math trauma
Other episodes mentioned:
- How to find the "why" in math class w/ Mike Flynn
- Why 1 + 1 isn't always 2 w/ Eugenia Cheng
- 5 simple Math Therapy strategies for your classroom
Contact us:
- Vanessa Vakharia: Instagram, TikTok, Email
- Math Therapy: Text the Podcast
More Math Therapy:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Vanessa Vakharia (00:03):
You can say, "you know what?
It's a great question.
I actually don't know.
Let me look that up and get backto you tomorrow." That single
sentence transforms the moment.
You're not the all-knowingexpert, you're a curious
co-investigator.
And you give your studentspermission to not know too.
If they ask a question and wesay, we don't have time for
that, that's off topic, you'reactually losing this very
(00:24):
beautiful moment.
Because they're engaged.
They're asking you a questionbecause they're engaged.
And if we shut them down, yes,we're gonna get through our
content, but we've lost them.
All right.
It's me, Vanessa, and we arehere for a solo ep of Math
Therapy.
Just me and you talking aboutwhat I hear the most from
(00:46):
parents and teachers, which iswhat can we do in moments of
anxiety?
Like when math anxiety shows upfor us and our students in our
classroom or in our home, howcan we flip those moments?
And today I'm gonna share fivestrategies to turn those moments
from anxiety to empowerment.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
You know, you're like mid lessonor mid helping your kid with
(01:07):
their homework.
Everything's fine.
You're in the zone.
You have your plan, like youknow what you're doing and
suddenly.
The kid in front of you solves aproblem in like a totally
different way than you expected,and you have no idea what they
did.
Or like they ask you somethingyou don't actually know the
answer to, or like your entirelesson plan goes completely off
the rails and like, boom, yourstomach drops, your brain starts
(01:27):
spinning, and suddenly you're infull anxiety mode and you're
like, I'm feeling anxious.
Does this kid know that I'mfeeling anxious?
Are they feeling anxious?
Like the whole thing goes offthe rails, and I just want you
guys to know.
I've been there and thesemoments happen to every single
teacher.
They don't mean you're bad atyour job, like they don't mean
you've lost control.
They mean you're a human.
(01:47):
And that the people you'reteaching are also human.
And your brain and body areactually doing exactly what
they're wired to do.
They're trying to keep you safeand your students' brains and
bodies are doing exactly whatthey're wired to do, which is
trying to keep.
Them safe.
The thing is math, anxietyspikes up when uncertainty is
present or when we suddenly feellike we've lost control.
(02:07):
That's the truth for both us andour students.
But here's the thing, guys.
Control is an illusion.
Certainty is a mirage.
We don't have time to get intothat right now, but like the,
the truth is we can't controlmost things, and uncertainty is
simply a fact of life.
So like instead of constantlytrying to trick ourselves into
thinking that we have controland that we are certain.
The best thing we can do isaccept reality and lean into
(02:29):
these moments.
And honestly, guys, this hasbeen my number one life hack,
not just in math class, but inthe rest of my life.
It's the thing that has made thebiggest difference to the way I
approach life, the way I goafter my dreams, the way I deal
with disappointment, and quitefrankly, to my mental health as
a whole.
The moments where things don'tgo exactly as planned are
actually golden opportunities.
(02:50):
You can flip them from anxietyto empowerment for yourself.
And for the people around you,including your students.
And once you understand what'sactually happening inside you,
in those moments, you get tochoose a different response.
So in this episode, I'm gonnawalk you through five super
common classroom moments thatcan trigger anxiety or math,
trauma, explain what's actuallyhappening in your brain and
(03:10):
body, and share a practical maththerapy flip you can use to turn
that anxious moment into anempowering one.
Okay.
So let's start with momentnumber one.
When a student solves a problemdifferently than you expected.
Here's what's happening in yourbody that's really interesting.
Your amygdala, like your brain'slittle alarm system is basically
(03:31):
like uhoh, unexpected thing.
Possible threat, like ding,ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding.
And if you grew up in a mathworld where there was only one
right way to solve problems,this can unconsciously trigger
old math, trauma.
Like fears of losing control, ofbeing wrong, of not being like
the expert.
Because we've been told foreverthat the teacher or the parent
is supposed to be the expert inthe room.
(03:52):
When parents ask me, like Whenparents are like, oh my God, I
hate this new way of teachingmath.
I don't know what my kids aredoing in school.
I can't help them with theirmath homework.
That is the main feeling thatcomes up when I dig deeper.
They feel guilty, they feelashamed that they can't help
because they're supposed to bethe expert.
And I always tell these parentslike, you're not actually
expected to be a math teacher.
I get that you wanna help yourkid with e everything, but
(04:14):
that's what teachers are for.
But the underlying feeling.
Is that feeling of I'm supposedto be the expert and you can let
go of that right here, rightnow.
Physically what's happening isyour heart might speed up.
Your vision might narrow.
Your brain instantly wants tobring the class back to your way
or bring the student in front ofyou back to your way.
Like we're like, oh my God,control, certainty, like bring
it back, I need it to feel safe.
(04:35):
But remember what I saidearlier, the best thing we can
do is lean into the fact that wecan't control, like we can't
control someone's reaction,right?
Like we can control the way weteach a lesson or the way we go
about a math concept, but theperson in front of us is really
guiding the lesson.
It's about them.
It's not about us.
I remember, I was teaching, ohmy God, I was teaching this
grade seven kid, it was aboutratios.
(04:58):
And he would get some of themright?
And he was, he was doing this,doing it in like what I would
call a weird way.
I was like, I don't understandhow you're getting these
answers.
And I started understanding likeinstead of being like, no, just
do it my way.
Follow this formula.
I asked him, I was like, what,can you just explain to me your
thinking here?
Like what are you doing?
Like what exactly is happening?
And as he started explaining itto me, I realized what was going
(05:20):
on.
He had developed this like wayto.
Create ratios to equate them tolike work with them, but he had
no understanding, zerounderstanding of what division
was, none.
And in that conversation, it waslike the juiciest moment because
I was like, oh my God, you'resolving them in this way.
And sometimes you're getting theright answer and sometimes
(05:43):
you're not, but it's because youdon't understand this underlying
concept of division and itcompletely changed everything.
So instead of me just beinglike, I want it to be like,
look, I can just show you howto, you know, work with ratios.
Like, I can show you thisformula, I can show you this
trick, whatever.
But I was like, you know what?
Instead I'm gonna lean into thediscomfort I'm feeling that I
have no clue what he's doing andask him about it.
And it ended up being the bestlesson because we dealt with the
(06:06):
underlying reason that he wasusing this methodology he had
made up.
And it led to him reallyunderstanding.
You know.
Earlier in my career as ateacher, I used to just be like,
no, no, no, no.
Do it my way.
Like I have a better way.
Don't worry about it.
That was my always my go-to.
Like I was like, I have the bestway.
But when I think about it, whatI was actually saying was, do it
(06:26):
my way because this is the way Iunderstand.
I was like centering myself asthe main character instead of my
student.
Our students are the maincharacters.
We're there to teach them,right?
We're there to help them learn.
So all that to say, here's whatyou do.
How do you flip that moment fromanxiety because you're feeling
it into empowerment.
I want you to just literallypause, take a breath.
(06:48):
I know that's the most annoyingthing people say, but really
breathing helps, it puts us intoa parasympathetic state, it
literally does lower our heartrate.
And here's the key.
I want you to get curious.
Instead of controlling, you'regonna go fully into curiosity.
Here's the thing that happens.
Curiosity actually interruptsthe threat response.
(07:09):
It takes us out of that fight orflight and gives us something
else to focus on.
You're teaching your brain: unexpected, doesn't mean unsafe. (07:12):
undefined
I can just get curious aboutthis.
So try something like, you cansay something like:"whoa.
That's really interesting.
Can you just walk me throughyour thinking?" Remember, you're
sitting there being like, I haveno fucking clue what this kid is
thinking right now.
So just ask.
It's actually huge.
Now you're curious.
Now you're wondering, you're notthinking I need to control this.
(07:34):
You shift from being thegatekeeper to being a
co-learner.
You validate that studentsthinking publicly, especially if
this happens in front of a classand suddenly you've modeled
intellectual curiosity for theentire class.
Remember, you're co-creatingyour lesson with your students.
You might not want that to bethe case, but it is.
They're not just pressing playon like some YouTube video.
(07:55):
You're a real person in front ofthem, and they're real people in
front of you.
And that's actually what leadsto meaningful learning.
That's why face-to-face teachingis so much more effective than
just pressing play on a videoand like sitting at your desk
while students watch it.
I want you guys to think aboutyour default reaction when this
happens.
You know, when a studentresponds to something or answers
a question or gives a solutionin a way that you did not
(08:16):
anticipate, think about whatyour default is and see next
time if you can shift intocuriosity and let go of control.
Okay, let's move on to thesecond moment that often causes
anxiety to spike in either us orour students.
This one's like a spicy one.
You're teaching, and suddenly astudent asks you a question and
(08:37):
you don't fucking know.
You have no idea.
Cue panic.
Your brain perceives this aswhat we call social evaluative
threat.
It's like your status is on theline, right?
Your inner critic lights up.
"You should know this.
You're the teacher, you're theparent." Again, that anxiety
response kicks in.
Your breath gets shallow, yourchest tightens.
Maybe you try to cover it up orlike avoid the question.
(08:59):
This often goes way back to ourown math trauma, by the way,
when not knowing meant you werea failure.
Again, I want you to rememberthat is an old way of thinking.
That is an old story.
Not knowing and admitting youdon't know is actually a sign of
intelligence.
I talked about this with MikeFlynn on our interview a couple
weeks ago about how when wedon't know something, it is this
(09:21):
incredible opportunity for us.
He was saying he's been teachingfor like well over 30 years and
he still has not come across asituation in which he has
anticipated every singlequestion or every single way a
kid is gonna solve a problem.
He says, in every lesson heteaches, in every classroom, he
always learns something new.
And this kind of goes back to myprevious point that I was
(09:42):
talking about, channel thatcuriosity, right.
When you don't know something,instead of being like, oh my
God, I'm a failure, I'm not theexpert.
This is a great moment to belike, I don't know, I'm curious.
Let's figure it out together.
So here's how you can flip thisanxious moment into empowerment.
Name it.
Calmly, clearly, literally sayto the student in front of you.
(10:04):
"Great question.
I actually don't know.
Let's figure it out together."Or if like you don't have time
to figure it out together oryou're, you're really, your
anxiety response is spiking andyou're like, ah, I can't even
think because that happens.
You know, honestly, when ournervous systems are
dysregulated, when we are infight or flight, it's hard to
learn anything.
We know that for our students,and the same is true for
(10:26):
ourselves.
You can say,"you know what?
It's a great question.
I actually don't know.
Let me look that up and get backto you tomorrow." That single
sentence transforms the moment.
You're not the all-knowingexpert.
You're a curious co-investigatorand you, this is, this is the
most beautiful thing about that,you give your students
permission to not know too,which is such a gift because so
(10:47):
much math, trauma and mathanxiety is rooted in the fact
that at one point in your lifeand in your students' lives,
they didn't know and they got introuble for it.
They got punished.
They got made fun of.
They got bullied.
They got told that they wereless than they were made to feel
like they weren't a quoteunquote math person.
We're here to change that story.
(11:08):
You can flip the script rightnow by being like, I don't know
either.
And I'm a math teacher.
Isn't that awesome?
Because knowing math and beinggood at math and doing math
isn't about knowing everything.
It's about being curious andasking questions and seeking
answers.
I also remember I read this bookon leadership a very long time
ago.
It's one you've definitely heardof that I can't remember right
now, and it was talking abouthow vulnerability is the number
(11:29):
one superpower for any leader.
When you ask staff when they,you know, they would go to big
corporations and ask their staffwhat made their leader a great
leader.
And the top response was alwaysvulnerability.
When a leader is able to modelthat they don't know, that they
have their own, um, you know,perceived weaknesses, that they
don't feel perfect, it softensthe entire room.
(11:51):
It allows staff, just like itallows your students to see you
as relatable, to see you as lessintimidating, to feel safer
talking to you about theirconcerns.
And you are a leader.
You know, you're at the front ofthe room, or you're a parent
leading a child like you reallyare a leader, and vulnerability
is your superpower.
It's not something to shy awayfrom.
And I think you'll be reallysurprised if this isn't
(12:12):
something you do already.
When you express thatvulnerability to students, they
soften.
Literally, they feel thatbecause every student feels
vulnerable, every student feelslike they don't know, like they
feel like they're not theexpert, they're intimidated.
All of a sudden they change,they're gentle, they're kind,
and they're there to hold yourhand just as much as you're
(12:33):
there to hold theirs.
So I want you to ask yourself,what story did you inherit about
not knowing in math?
What is it?
Did something happen?
Were you given a certainmessage?
Ask yourself if that story isreally true, and let's rewrite
that starting now with thisflip.
All right, third moment.
Oh my God, especially if you'rea parent, that goes into being
(12:54):
like, all right, tonight I'mhelping my kids with fractions,
I remember all my formulas, Iknow what I'm gonna do, like,
flip and multiply when, what wasit?
What did, what did Mike Flynnsay on his episode?
Yours is not to reason why, justinvert and multiply when you're,
dividing fractions, you knowyou're ready and all of a sudden
things go off the rails.
Especially if you're a teacher,you're moving through your like
carefully, beautifully craftedlesson plan, and suddenly time's
(13:18):
running out, a student takes youon a tangent, tech fails, like
whatever it is, everything's offthe rails.
Internally, what's happening isthis is triggering a loss of
perceived control.
Like your stress hormones arerising, your heart's pounding.
You're back in that anxietyresponse and layered on top of
this.
This is the worst part aboutthis.
Layered on top of it, is theexternal pressure, like that
(13:40):
familiar saying.
We've heard a million times, wehave to get through.
The curriculum testing iscoming.
I'm behind.
Like everyone's behind, behind,behind.
Like I feel like the word I ambehind is like the saying of our
time, like we're behind oneverything and we're certainly
behind on the curriculum and thecontent we're supposed to teach.
Here's the empowerment flip.
(14:00):
I need you to zoom out and torecenter.
I know you hate me, but take aslow breath.
I actually hate myself forsaying it, but I have to remind
you how important it's for real.
It physiologically makes adifference and we can't think
when we're dysregulated.
Take that breath and remindyourself what actually matters
in this lesson.
That's the thing.
What matters in this lesson.
(14:21):
Is what matters.
Just zooming through so you'renot behind or is what matters,
giving these students a positivemath experience that they're
gonna carry with them for therest of their lives.
After you do that, I want you toname the pivot for students out
loud.
"Team, we're going a little offroad here, and that's okay.
Here's what matters most rightnow." So let them take you on
(14:46):
that tangent.
You know, this makes me think ofmy interview with Eugenia Cheng
because she talked about this,about how often we feel like,
and I know this isn't many ofus, but I know I grew up in this
landscape, and I know so many ofmy students express that their
teachers say this to them now,they'll ask a question and it'll
be like,"we don't have time forthis.
That's not important right now."Eugenia Cheng says that the most
(15:07):
important and relevant thing inyour lesson.
Is what is important andrelevant right now to the
student.
If they ask a question and wesay, we don't have time for
that, this, that's off topic,you're actually losing this very
beautiful moment.
Because they're engaged.
They're asking you a questionbecause they're engaged.
And if we shut them down, yes,we're gonna get through our
(15:29):
content, but we've lost them.
So saying something like,"allright guys, we're going a little
off road, it's okay, here's whatmatters most right now." Allows
you to answer their questions,to let them take you a bit off
road and to see where that goes.
And you know what else?
I feel like those moments canactually end up in like, the
most beautiful learning moments.
(15:50):
Often a student asks a questionthat might seem like it's kind
of off track, or like someonedoesn't understand something, so
you now have to re-explainsomething, and then it turns out
half the class didn't understandthat thing anyways, and you've
actually saved yourself time byreteaching whatever that concept
was to the entire class.
It actually saves you timebecause now they can really
engage with the content you'retrying to teach when you teach
(16:11):
it for real tomorrow becausethey've understood the
prerequisite content.
So I want you guys to askyourselves, what if these off
track moments are actually themost powerful?
You know, next time this happensto you and you're in a lesson, I
know it is completely anxietyinducing to feel all that
pressure and to feel, again,it's that loss of control,
uncertainty, you don't even knowwhere this conversation is going
now, but lean into it and seewhat comes out of it.
(16:34):
You might be surprised.
So we're gonna talk aboutanxiety inducing moment number
four.
And this is a big one.
This is one that's so dear to myheart because this is what all
my work is based on.
When a student expressesfrustration or shuts down.
When a student expresses in oneway or another, maybe not with
words, but with actions and bodylanguage that they are
(16:56):
experiencing anxiety aroundmath.
This can hit you like in thegut.
You know, like a student isfrustrated, there may be even
shutting down.
And what happens is your bodyactually reacts, and that
happens because ofco-regulation.
Polyvagal theory tells us thathumans literally pick up each
(17:16):
other's nervous system states.
So their frustration can triggeryours or mirror your own past
struggles.
If their chest is tightening, ifthey're in fight or flight, you
wanna fix it right now.
But your energy starts gettingdysregulated.
You might like, I'm actuallycurious.
Next time you're in a momentlike this, I want you to really
pay attention to what your bodyis doing when the student in
(17:38):
front of you is expressinganxiety.
Here's how you flip that momentbefore it really derails both of
you.
"Co-regulate, before youeducate." I want you to remember
that phrase, honestly,co-regulate, before you educate.
There is this myth that like ifa student is anxious, all you've
gotta do is really make themunderstand the math concept
(17:58):
you're trying to teach.
And like they'll feel better, Ipromise it will not work.
Once a student is in anescalated state, once their
nervous system is dysregulated,they cannot learn.
Their amygdala is literallyhijacked.
The brain's resources are beingdiverted to keeping them safe.
It, you know, you've probablyheard the whole thing of like
your brain is reacting like asaber tooth tiger is chasing you
(18:21):
down the street when you're inan anxious state.
But like it actually is.
It actually is like, I know it'slike so cliche.
It is because our brains havenot evolved that much.
So when we get anxious aboutsomething, our brain goes into
the exact same mode that itwould if we were being chased by
a saber tooth tiger.
And if you were being chased bya tiger, I promise you, you
would not even be able to likeanswer what seven times seven
(18:44):
was.
It would not enter your mindeven if you knew it.
So co-regulate before youeducate.
Drop your voice.
Crouch down to a student'slevel.
Remember, that's so important, Italked about that in my last
solo episode.
Crouch down, so you're meetingthem eye to eye.
Pull up a chair next to them andsay something like, I can see
this is frustrating, and Itotally get it.
I've been there.
(19:05):
Number one, relate to them.
Show them that they're notalone.
Show them that you, yes, you,the expert in the room also has
felt this way.
And then you're gonna hate me,but you're gonna say, let's take
a breath together.
And you're gonna fuckingbreathe.
And you're not gonna just belike, I want you to take a
breath in for four seconds, holdit for four seconds, and breathe
(19:26):
out for four seconds, and dothat three times.
It's called box breathing.
It is one of the best things wecan do to take our nervous
system down.
This anchors the emotional tonein the room instead of absorbing
their panic.
You're now together, they've gotsomeone that understands them,
their body is literallydeescalating from the panic
(19:47):
state it was in, and now you canmove on.
What's happening here is you'rehelping both of you shift from a
sympathetic activated state intoa calm, connected one by
signaling safety.
And here's the thing.
Regulation has to come beforecognition, because if a student
is doing the mental equivalentof hyperventilating into a paper
bag, they can't absorb any ofthe amazing content you're
(20:08):
teaching them.
They just can't do it.
So I know sometimes it's like,oh my God, we don't have time to
deal with this.
But you're saving yourself time,you are.
Because the time you spendteaching content to a student
who can't absorb it, you're justgonna have to reteach it
anyways.
I want you guys to think of yourown go-to co-regulation moves
right now.
Okay, so, or not right now.
(20:29):
'cause like we have one morething left.
But after the podcast is over, Ireally want you to think of
like, what are the things thatI'm gonna do to help a student
co-regulate in a moment?
If a student in front of me isanxious, what can I do?
Think of your classroom.
Think of your house.
Like is there a cozy place youcan go that's in your home that
feels safe, is there a chair youcan pull up in your classroom?
Is there a little area at theback of the room where you can
(20:50):
sit on the carpet?
Like think of what your go-tomove will go to and try it next
time a student in front of youis exhibiting signs of math
anxiety.
and finally the big one, the onewe've all been waiting for
without even knowing it.
Anxiety inducing moment numberfive, when your own math trauma
gets triggered.
(21:11):
First of all, you're not alone.
I can tell you right now thatmost teachers I've met, I'm
saying most over 50% have mathtrauma.
They've had a negativeexperience with math that has
stuck with them.
You know?
And sometimes something happensin class, like a topic, a
student reaction, even just avibe, and suddenly you're right
back in your own math class.
(21:32):
As a kid feeling lost orhumiliated, and that's because
math trauma lives as storedemotional patterns.
Like, your body reacts like thepast is happening now.
That's what happens when traumagets triggered.
Like your entire body goes backinto the state it was in when
the first incident happens.
So maybe you go back to thatstate you were in when you were
called out in class and youdidn't know the answer, and your
(21:55):
cheeks got all red and youcompletely froze and you
couldn't figure out the answerand your teacher rolled their
eyes and walked away.
Ugh, like that, like even justsaying that like I can feel that
in my body, you know?
It happens to all of us and it'sgonna happen.
Here's how you're gonna flipthis moment to empowerment.
You're gonna recognize it andinternally name it.
(22:15):
Like I want you to say toyourself, huh, I see you.
I see what's happening here.
This is one of those old mathmoments making its way into the
present.
And because, remember, your bodyis acting as though the past is
happening right now.
It's reacting as though that oldtrauma, traumatic event is
(22:37):
happening currently.
So your best bet is actually toshow your body that it is here
now, it is not stuck in thepast.
Polyvagal theory tells us thatthe information flow is 20% from
mind to body and 80% from bodyto mind.
What that means is our bodieswill often go into an anxiety
(22:57):
response before we rationally,cognitively even understand why.
So if we can deescalate ourbodies, if we can bring our
nervous systems down and calmourselves down, then that
information also flows to thebrain.
The key here is embody.
Get into your body before youget into your brain.
Because once you're already inthat response, once that trauma
(23:18):
has been triggered, rememberyou're in a state of fight or
flight.
It's really hard when you're ina state of fight or flight to
think rationally.
To even be like, okay, here'sexactly what's happening.
I want you to know exactlywhat's happening, but first,
you've got to ground your body,right?
So here's what you're gonna do.
Physically ground yourself bydoing things like, touching the
(23:38):
desk, stretching your legs, lookaround and name three physical
objects you see in the room.
Do a body scan, like literallybe like, I can feel my toes.
Wiggle your toes.
I can feel my fingers.
Wiggle your fingers.
Bring yourself back into yourpresent body and remind yourself
I'm an adult now, I'm safe.
This little act separates pastfrom present and it gives you a
(23:59):
choice about how to respondnext.
But first, you've gotta likereally get yourself in the
present moment.
so I want you to think aboutyour personal trigger topics.
You might know them.
You might be like, oh my God,it's every single time we do
fractions.
Or it's every time a kid asks mea question I don't know the
answer to, or it's every time astudent rolls their eyes and
says, why are we even learningthis?
you know, maybe someone sayslike, you're the teacher, aren't
(24:20):
you supposed to know theanswers?
Like, oh my God, that wouldstress me out.
Like, think of what thosetrigger topics are in math class
or when you're helping your kidwith your homework and come up
with a game plan.
Be like, all right, when thathappens, here are my grounding
tools that I'm gonna use.
Some of the things we listedbefore.
You can be like, I'm going to inthe moment, make the entire
class take three deep breathswith me.
(24:42):
I'm gonna in that moment to totell the entire class to name
four mathematical objects theycan see around the room, like
you can get the class to do itwith you, so you're not just
like all of a sudden closingyour eyes in silence.
Or you can be like, I'm going totell everyone I need a minute
and I'm going to do a body scan.
Like whatever.
Come up with a game plan now,and next time it happens, you'll
be prepared.
(25:03):
Okay.
So guys, this week I want you topick just one of these five
moments and notice what happensin your mind and body the next
time it shows up.
So, when a student solves aproblem differently than you
expected, when you don't knowthe answer to something
yourself, when the pacing orlesson plan goes completely off
track, when a student expressesfrustration or shuts down or
exhibit signs of math anxiety,and when your own math trauma
(25:25):
gets triggered.
Pick one of those things.
Try one of these strategies andsee if things shift.
Like you have to remember, thecool thing about all of this is
neuroplasticity, right?
Like we are retraining ourbrains how to respond to these
moments, and it's not gonnahappen overnight.
You're still gonna be triggeredby these things, right?
Like the point is not to neverfeel anxious again.
(25:48):
The point is not to erase mathanxiety.
The point here is to transformthese moments into opportunities
for connection, curiosity, andhealing for us and for our
students.
So next time one of thesemoments shows up, notice what
happens in your brain and body.
Pause, name it.
Try the empowerment flip, andthen reflect even just mentally
(26:08):
on what shifted when youresponded differently.
And celebrate that you'reretraining your neural pathway
so the next time that momentpops up, you'll be less anxious.
Remember, these moments aren'tfailures.
They happen to all of us.
They're invitations for us torewrite our math stories for
ourselves and for our students.
Guys, love you.
This was so much fun.
(26:28):
I hope this was useful.
I wanna hear from you.
If you found this helpful, sharethis episode.
Share it with a colleague who'shad one of these moments this
week.
Send it in your WhatsApp likemath department group chat,
'cause I know someone in therehas had one of these moments.
Or send it to one of yourstudents' parents or like your
parent bestie.
They need to hear it.
And I need to hear from you.
So text the podcast with yourthoughts.
(26:48):
The links in the show notes.
DM me on Instagram at the Mathguru.
Email me atvanessa@themathguru.ca and I'll
see you next week with anotherepisode to help you heal math,
trauma, build confidence, changemath culture, talk about juicy,
spicy stuff, break some mathmyth.
Like, I don't know all thethings that we love doing here
(27:09):
at Math Therapy.
This is weird.
Now, I don't have a way to endthis, and I can't say bye
because I can't say bye tomyself.
I'm just looking at David.
He's waving.
Bye guys.
Love you.
You're the best.
Go get em.
That was weird.
You can say, "you know what?
It's a great question.
I actually don't know.
Let me look that up and get backto you tomorrow." That single
sentence transforms the moment.
You're not the all-knowingexpert, you're a curious
co-investigator.
And you give your studentspermission to not know too.
If they ask a question and wesay, we don't have time for
that, that's off topic, you'reactually losing this very
(00:24):
beautiful moment.
Because they're engaged.
They're asking you a questionbecause they're engaged.
And if we shut them down, yes,we're gonna get through our
content, but we've lost them.
All right.
It's me, Vanessa, and we arehere for a solo ep of Math
Therapy.
Just me and you talking aboutwhat I hear the most from
(00:46):
parents and teachers, which iswhat can we do in moments of
anxiety?
Like when math anxiety shows upfor us and our students in our
classroom or in our home, howcan we flip those moments?
And today I'm gonna share fivestrategies to turn those moments
from anxiety to empowerment.
Tell me if this sounds familiar.
You know, you're like mid lessonor mid helping your kid with
(01:07):
their homework.
Everything's fine.
You're in the zone.
You have your plan, like youknow what you're doing and
suddenly.
The kid in front of you solves aproblem in like a totally
different way than you expected,and you have no idea what they
did.
Or like they ask you somethingyou don't actually know the
answer to, or like your entirelesson plan goes completely off
the rails and like, boom, yourstomach drops, your brain starts
(01:27):
spinning, and suddenly you're infull anxiety mode and you're
like, I'm feeling anxious.
Does this kid know that I'mfeeling anxious?
Are they feeling anxious?
Like the whole thing goes offthe rails, and I just want you
guys to know.
I've been there and thesemoments happen to every single
teacher.
They don't mean you're bad atyour job, like they don't mean
you've lost control.
They mean you're a human.
(01:47):
And that the people you'reteaching are also human.
And your brain and body areactually doing exactly what
they're wired to do.
They're trying to keep you safeand your students' brains and
bodies are doing exactly whatthey're wired to do, which is
trying to keep.
Them safe.
The thing is math, anxietyspikes up when uncertainty is
present or when we suddenly feellike we've lost control.
(02:07):
That's the truth for both us andour students.
But here's the thing, guys.
Control is an illusion.
Certainty is a mirage.
We don't have time to get intothat right now, but like the,
the truth is we can't controlmost things, and uncertainty is
simply a fact of life.
So like instead of constantlytrying to trick ourselves into
thinking that we have controland that we are certain.
The best thing we can do isaccept reality and lean into
(02:29):
these moments.
And honestly, guys, this hasbeen my number one life hack,
not just in math class, but inthe rest of my life.
It's the thing that has made thebiggest difference to the way I
approach life, the way I goafter my dreams, the way I deal
with disappointment, and quitefrankly, to my mental health as
a whole.
The moments where things don'tgo exactly as planned are
actually golden opportunities.
(02:50):
You can flip them from anxietyto empowerment for yourself.
And for the people around you,including your students.
And once you understand what'sactually happening inside you,
in those moments, you get tochoose a different response.
So in this episode, I'm gonnawalk you through five super
common classroom moments thatcan trigger anxiety or math,
trauma, explain what's actuallyhappening in your brain and
(03:10):
body, and share a practical maththerapy flip you can use to turn
that anxious moment into anempowering one.
Okay.
So let's start with momentnumber one.
When a student solves a problemdifferently than you expected.
Here's what's happening in yourbody that's really interesting.
Your amygdala, like your brain'slittle alarm system is basically
(03:31):
like uhoh, unexpected thing.
Possible threat, like ding,ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding.
And if you grew up in a mathworld where there was only one
right way to solve problems,this can unconsciously trigger
old math, trauma.
Like fears of losing control, ofbeing wrong, of not being like
the expert.
Because we've been told foreverthat the teacher or the parent
is supposed to be the expert inthe room.
(03:52):
When parents ask me, like Whenparents are like, oh my God, I
hate this new way of teachingmath.
I don't know what my kids aredoing in school.
I can't help them with theirmath homework.
That is the main feeling thatcomes up when I dig deeper.
They feel guilty, they feelashamed that they can't help
because they're supposed to bethe expert.
And I always tell these parentslike, you're not actually
expected to be a math teacher.
I get that you wanna help yourkid with e everything, but
(04:14):
that's what teachers are for.
But the underlying feeling.
Is that feeling of I'm supposedto be the expert and you can let
go of that right here, rightnow.
Physically what's happening isyour heart might speed up.
Your vision might narrow.
Your brain instantly wants tobring the class back to your way
or bring the student in front ofyou back to your way.
Like we're like, oh my God,control, certainty, like bring
it back, I need it to feel safe.
(04:35):
But remember what I saidearlier, the best thing we can
do is lean into the fact that wecan't control, like we can't
control someone's reaction,right?
Like we can control the way weteach a lesson or the way we go
about a math concept, but theperson in front of us is really
guiding the lesson.
It's about them.
It's not about us.
I remember, I was teaching, ohmy God, I was teaching this
grade seven kid, it was aboutratios.
(04:58):
And he would get some of themright?
And he was, he was doing this,doing it in like what I would
call a weird way.
I was like, I don't understandhow you're getting these
answers.
And I started understanding likeinstead of being like, no, just
do it my way.
Follow this formula.
I asked him, I was like, what,can you just explain to me your
thinking here?
Like what are you doing?
Like what exactly is happening?
And as he started explaining itto me, I realized what was going
(05:20):
on.
He had developed this like wayto.
Create ratios to equate them tolike work with them, but he had
no understanding, zerounderstanding of what division
was, none.
And in that conversation, it waslike the juiciest moment because
I was like, oh my God, you'resolving them in this way.
And sometimes you're getting theright answer and sometimes
(05:43):
you're not, but it's because youdon't understand this underlying
concept of division and itcompletely changed everything.
So instead of me just beinglike, I want it to be like,
look, I can just show you howto, you know, work with ratios.
Like, I can show you thisformula, I can show you this
trick, whatever.
But I was like, you know what?
Instead I'm gonna lean into thediscomfort I'm feeling that I
have no clue what he's doing andask him about it.
And it ended up being the bestlesson because we dealt with the
(06:06):
underlying reason that he wasusing this methodology he had
made up.
And it led to him reallyunderstanding.
You know.
Earlier in my career as ateacher, I used to just be like,
no, no, no, no.
Do it my way.
Like I have a better way.
Don't worry about it.
That was my always my go-to.
Like I was like, I have the bestway.
But when I think about it, whatI was actually saying was, do it
(06:26):
my way because this is the way Iunderstand.
I was like centering myself asthe main character instead of my
student.
Our students are the maincharacters.
We're there to teach them,right?
We're there to help them learn.
So all that to say, here's whatyou do.
How do you flip that moment fromanxiety because you're feeling
it into empowerment.
I want you to just literallypause, take a breath.
(06:48):
I know that's the most annoyingthing people say, but really
breathing helps, it puts us intoa parasympathetic state, it
literally does lower our heartrate.
And here's the key.
I want you to get curious.
Instead of controlling, you'regonna go fully into curiosity.
Here's the thing that happens.
Curiosity actually interruptsthe threat response.
(07:09):
It takes us out of that fight orflight and gives us something
else to focus on.
You're teaching your brain: unexpected, doesn't mean unsafe. (07:12):
undefined
I can just get curious aboutthis.
So try something like, you cansay something like:"whoa.
That's really interesting.
Can you just walk me throughyour thinking?" Remember, you're
sitting there being like, I haveno fucking clue what this kid is
thinking right now.
So just ask.
It's actually huge.
Now you're curious.
Now you're wondering, you're notthinking I need to control this.
(07:34):
You shift from being thegatekeeper to being a
co-learner.
You validate that studentsthinking publicly, especially if
this happens in front of a classand suddenly you've modeled
intellectual curiosity for theentire class.
Remember, you're co-creatingyour lesson with your students.
You might not want that to bethe case, but it is.
They're not just pressing playon like some YouTube video.
(07:55):
You're a real person in front ofthem, and they're real people in
front of you.
And that's actually what leadsto meaningful learning.
That's why face-to-face teachingis so much more effective than
just pressing play on a videoand like sitting at your desk
while students watch it.
I want you guys to think aboutyour default reaction when this
happens.
You know, when a studentresponds to something or answers
a question or gives a solutionin a way that you did not
(08:16):
anticipate, think about whatyour default is and see next
time if you can shift intocuriosity and let go of control.
Okay, let's move on to thesecond moment that often causes
anxiety to spike in either us orour students.
This one's like a spicy one.
You're teaching, and suddenly astudent asks you a question and
(08:37):
you don't fucking know.
You have no idea.
Cue panic.
Your brain perceives this aswhat we call social evaluative
threat.
It's like your status is on theline, right?
Your inner critic lights up.
"You should know this.
You're the teacher, you're theparent." Again, that anxiety
response kicks in.
Your breath gets shallow, yourchest tightens.
Maybe you try to cover it up orlike avoid the question.
(08:59):
This often goes way back to ourown math trauma, by the way,
when not knowing meant you werea failure.
Again, I want you to rememberthat is an old way of thinking.
That is an old story.
Not knowing and admitting youdon't know is actually a sign of
intelligence.
I talked about this with MikeFlynn on our interview a couple
weeks ago about how when wedon't know something, it is this
(09:21):
incredible opportunity for us.
He was saying he's been teachingfor like well over 30 years and
he still has not come across asituation in which he has
anticipated every singlequestion or every single way a
kid is gonna solve a problem.
He says, in every lesson heteaches, in every classroom, he
always learns something new.
And this kind of goes back to myprevious point that I was
(09:42):
talking about, channel thatcuriosity, right.
When you don't know something,instead of being like, oh my
God, I'm a failure, I'm not theexpert.
This is a great moment to belike, I don't know, I'm curious.
Let's figure it out together.
So here's how you can flip thisanxious moment into empowerment.
Name it.
Calmly, clearly, literally sayto the student in front of you.
(10:04):
"Great question.
I actually don't know.
Let's figure it out together."Or if like you don't have time
to figure it out together oryou're, you're really, your
anxiety response is spiking andyou're like, ah, I can't even
think because that happens.
You know, honestly, when ournervous systems are
dysregulated, when we are infight or flight, it's hard to
learn anything.
We know that for our students,and the same is true for
(10:26):
ourselves.
You can say,"you know what?
It's a great question.
I actually don't know.
Let me look that up and get backto you tomorrow." That single
sentence transforms the moment.
You're not the all-knowingexpert.
You're a curious co-investigatorand you, this is, this is the
most beautiful thing about that,you give your students
permission to not know too,which is such a gift because so
(10:47):
much math, trauma and mathanxiety is rooted in the fact
that at one point in your lifeand in your students' lives,
they didn't know and they got introuble for it.
They got punished.
They got made fun of.
They got bullied.
They got told that they wereless than they were made to feel
like they weren't a quoteunquote math person.
We're here to change that story.
(11:08):
You can flip the script rightnow by being like, I don't know
either.
And I'm a math teacher.
Isn't that awesome?
Because knowing math and beinggood at math and doing math
isn't about knowing everything.
It's about being curious andasking questions and seeking
answers.
I also remember I read this bookon leadership a very long time
ago.
It's one you've definitely heardof that I can't remember right
now, and it was talking abouthow vulnerability is the number
(11:29):
one superpower for any leader.
When you ask staff when they,you know, they would go to big
corporations and ask their staffwhat made their leader a great
leader.
And the top response was alwaysvulnerability.
When a leader is able to modelthat they don't know, that they
have their own, um, you know,perceived weaknesses, that they
don't feel perfect, it softensthe entire room.
(11:51):
It allows staff, just like itallows your students to see you
as relatable, to see you as lessintimidating, to feel safer
talking to you about theirconcerns.
And you are a leader.
You know, you're at the front ofthe room, or you're a parent
leading a child like you reallyare a leader, and vulnerability
is your superpower.
It's not something to shy awayfrom.
And I think you'll be reallysurprised if this isn't
(12:12):
something you do already.
When you express thatvulnerability to students, they
soften.
Literally, they feel thatbecause every student feels
vulnerable, every student feelslike they don't know, like they
feel like they're not theexpert, they're intimidated.
All of a sudden they change,they're gentle, they're kind,
and they're there to hold yourhand just as much as you're
(12:33):
there to hold theirs.
So I want you to ask yourself,what story did you inherit about
not knowing in math?
What is it?
Did something happen?
Were you given a certainmessage?
Ask yourself if that story isreally true, and let's rewrite
that starting now with thisflip.
All right, third moment.
Oh my God, especially if you'rea parent, that goes into being
(12:54):
like, all right, tonight I'mhelping my kids with fractions,
I remember all my formulas, Iknow what I'm gonna do, like,
flip and multiply when, what wasit?
What did, what did Mike Flynnsay on his episode?
Yours is not to reason why, justinvert and multiply when you're,
dividing fractions, you knowyou're ready and all of a sudden
things go off the rails.
Especially if you're a teacher,you're moving through your like
carefully, beautifully craftedlesson plan, and suddenly time's
(13:18):
running out, a student takes youon a tangent, tech fails, like
whatever it is, everything's offthe rails.
Internally, what's happening isthis is triggering a loss of
perceived control.
Like your stress hormones arerising, your heart's pounding.
You're back in that anxietyresponse and layered on top of
this.
This is the worst part aboutthis.
Layered on top of it, is theexternal pressure, like that
(13:40):
familiar saying.
We've heard a million times, wehave to get through.
The curriculum testing iscoming.
I'm behind.
Like everyone's behind, behind,behind.
Like I feel like the word I ambehind is like the saying of our
time, like we're behind oneverything and we're certainly
behind on the curriculum and thecontent we're supposed to teach.
Here's the empowerment flip.
(14:00):
I need you to zoom out and torecenter.
I know you hate me, but take aslow breath.
I actually hate myself forsaying it, but I have to remind
you how important it's for real.
It physiologically makes adifference and we can't think
when we're dysregulated.
Take that breath and remindyourself what actually matters
in this lesson.
That's the thing.
What matters in this lesson.
(14:21):
Is what matters.
Just zooming through so you'renot behind or is what matters,
giving these students a positivemath experience that they're
gonna carry with them for therest of their lives.
After you do that, I want you toname the pivot for students out
loud.
"Team, we're going a little offroad here, and that's okay.
Here's what matters most rightnow." So let them take you on
(14:46):
that tangent.
You know, this makes me think ofmy interview with Eugenia Cheng
because she talked about this,about how often we feel like,
and I know this isn't many ofus, but I know I grew up in this
landscape, and I know so many ofmy students express that their
teachers say this to them now,they'll ask a question and it'll
be like,"we don't have time forthis.
That's not important right now."Eugenia Cheng says that the most
(15:07):
important and relevant thing inyour lesson.
Is what is important andrelevant right now to the
student.
If they ask a question and wesay, we don't have time for
that, this, that's off topic,you're actually losing this very
beautiful moment.
Because they're engaged.
They're asking you a questionbecause they're engaged.
And if we shut them down, yes,we're gonna get through our
(15:29):
content, but we've lost them.
So saying something like,"allright guys, we're going a little
off road, it's okay, here's whatmatters most right now." Allows
you to answer their questions,to let them take you a bit off
road and to see where that goes.
And you know what else?
I feel like those moments canactually end up in like, the
most beautiful learning moments.
(15:50):
Often a student asks a questionthat might seem like it's kind
of off track, or like someonedoesn't understand something, so
you now have to re-explainsomething, and then it turns out
half the class didn't understandthat thing anyways, and you've
actually saved yourself time byreteaching whatever that concept
was to the entire class.
It actually saves you timebecause now they can really
engage with the content you'retrying to teach when you teach
(16:11):
it for real tomorrow becausethey've understood the
prerequisite content.
So I want you guys to askyourselves, what if these off
track moments are actually themost powerful?
You know, next time this happensto you and you're in a lesson, I
know it is completely anxietyinducing to feel all that
pressure and to feel, again,it's that loss of control,
uncertainty, you don't even knowwhere this conversation is going
now, but lean into it and seewhat comes out of it.
(16:34):
You might be surprised.
So we're gonna talk aboutanxiety inducing moment number
four.
And this is a big one.
This is one that's so dear to myheart because this is what all
my work is based on.
When a student expressesfrustration or shuts down.
When a student expresses in oneway or another, maybe not with
words, but with actions and bodylanguage that they are
(16:56):
experiencing anxiety aroundmath.
This can hit you like in thegut.
You know, like a student isfrustrated, there may be even
shutting down.
And what happens is your bodyactually reacts, and that
happens because ofco-regulation.
Polyvagal theory tells us thathumans literally pick up each
(17:16):
other's nervous system states.
So their frustration can triggeryours or mirror your own past
struggles.
If their chest is tightening, ifthey're in fight or flight, you
wanna fix it right now.
But your energy starts gettingdysregulated.
You might like, I'm actuallycurious.
Next time you're in a momentlike this, I want you to really
pay attention to what your bodyis doing when the student in
(17:38):
front of you is expressinganxiety.
Here's how you flip that momentbefore it really derails both of
you.
"Co-regulate, before youeducate." I want you to remember
that phrase, honestly,co-regulate, before you educate.
There is this myth that like ifa student is anxious, all you've
gotta do is really make themunderstand the math concept
(17:58):
you're trying to teach.
And like they'll feel better, Ipromise it will not work.
Once a student is in anescalated state, once their
nervous system is dysregulated,they cannot learn.
Their amygdala is literallyhijacked.
The brain's resources are beingdiverted to keeping them safe.
It, you know, you've probablyheard the whole thing of like
your brain is reacting like asaber tooth tiger is chasing you
(18:21):
down the street when you're inan anxious state.
But like it actually is.
It actually is like, I know it'slike so cliche.
It is because our brains havenot evolved that much.
So when we get anxious aboutsomething, our brain goes into
the exact same mode that itwould if we were being chased by
a saber tooth tiger.
And if you were being chased bya tiger, I promise you, you
would not even be able to likeanswer what seven times seven
(18:44):
was.
It would not enter your mindeven if you knew it.
So co-regulate before youeducate.
Drop your voice.
Crouch down to a student'slevel.
Remember, that's so important, Italked about that in my last
solo episode.
Crouch down, so you're meetingthem eye to eye.
Pull up a chair next to them andsay something like, I can see
this is frustrating, and Itotally get it.
I've been there.
(19:05):
Number one, relate to them.
Show them that they're notalone.
Show them that you, yes, you,the expert in the room also has
felt this way.
And then you're gonna hate me,but you're gonna say, let's take
a breath together.
And you're gonna fuckingbreathe.
And you're not gonna just belike, I want you to take a
breath in for four seconds, holdit for four seconds, and breathe
(19:26):
out for four seconds, and dothat three times.
It's called box breathing.
It is one of the best things wecan do to take our nervous
system down.
This anchors the emotional tonein the room instead of absorbing
their panic.
You're now together, they've gotsomeone that understands them,
their body is literallydeescalating from the panic
(19:47):
state it was in, and now you canmove on.
What's happening here is you'rehelping both of you shift from a
sympathetic activated state intoa calm, connected one by
signaling safety.
And here's the thing.
Regulation has to come beforecognition, because if a student
is doing the mental equivalentof hyperventilating into a paper
bag, they can't absorb any ofthe amazing content you're
(20:08):
teaching them.
They just can't do it.
So I know sometimes it's like,oh my God, we don't have time to
deal with this.
But you're saving yourself time,you are.
Because the time you spendteaching content to a student
who can't absorb it, you're justgonna have to reteach it
anyways.
I want you guys to think of yourown go-to co-regulation moves
right now.
Okay, so, or not right now.
(20:29):
'cause like we have one morething left.
But after the podcast is over, Ireally want you to think of
like, what are the things thatI'm gonna do to help a student
co-regulate in a moment?
If a student in front of me isanxious, what can I do?
Think of your classroom.
Think of your house.
Like is there a cozy place youcan go that's in your home that
feels safe, is there a chair youcan pull up in your classroom?
Is there a little area at theback of the room where you can
(20:50):
sit on the carpet?
Like think of what your go-tomove will go to and try it next
time a student in front of youis exhibiting signs of math
anxiety.
and finally the big one, the onewe've all been waiting for
without even knowing it.
Anxiety inducing moment numberfive, when your own math trauma
gets triggered.
(21:11):
First of all, you're not alone.
I can tell you right now thatmost teachers I've met, I'm
saying most over 50% have mathtrauma.
They've had a negativeexperience with math that has
stuck with them.
You know?
And sometimes something happensin class, like a topic, a
student reaction, even just avibe, and suddenly you're right
back in your own math class.
(21:32):
As a kid feeling lost orhumiliated, and that's because
math trauma lives as storedemotional patterns.
Like, your body reacts like thepast is happening now.
That's what happens when traumagets triggered.
Like your entire body goes backinto the state it was in when
the first incident happens.
So maybe you go back to thatstate you were in when you were
called out in class and youdidn't know the answer, and your
(21:55):
cheeks got all red and youcompletely froze and you
couldn't figure out the answerand your teacher rolled their
eyes and walked away.
Ugh, like that, like even justsaying that like I can feel that
in my body, you know?
It happens to all of us and it'sgonna happen.
Here's how you're gonna flipthis moment to empowerment.
You're gonna recognize it andinternally name it.
(22:15):
Like I want you to say toyourself, huh, I see you.
I see what's happening here.
This is one of those old mathmoments making its way into the
present.
And because, remember, your bodyis acting as though the past is
happening right now.
It's reacting as though that oldtrauma, traumatic event is
(22:37):
happening currently.
So your best bet is actually toshow your body that it is here
now, it is not stuck in thepast.
Polyvagal theory tells us thatthe information flow is 20% from
mind to body and 80% from bodyto mind.
What that means is our bodieswill often go into an anxiety
(22:57):
response before we rationally,cognitively even understand why.
So if we can deescalate ourbodies, if we can bring our
nervous systems down and calmourselves down, then that
information also flows to thebrain.
The key here is embody.
Get into your body before youget into your brain.
Because once you're already inthat response, once that trauma
(23:18):
has been triggered, rememberyou're in a state of fight or
flight.
It's really hard when you're ina state of fight or flight to
think rationally.
To even be like, okay, here'sexactly what's happening.
I want you to know exactlywhat's happening, but first,
you've got to ground your body,right?
So here's what you're gonna do.
Physically ground yourself bydoing things like, touching the
(23:38):
desk, stretching your legs, lookaround and name three physical
objects you see in the room.
Do a body scan, like literallybe like, I can feel my toes.
Wiggle your toes.
I can feel my fingers.
Wiggle your fingers.
Bring yourself back into yourpresent body and remind yourself
I'm an adult now, I'm safe.
This little act separates pastfrom present and it gives you a
(23:59):
choice about how to respondnext.
But first, you've gotta likereally get yourself in the
present moment.
so I want you to think aboutyour personal trigger topics.
You might know them.
You might be like, oh my God,it's every single time we do
fractions.
Or it's every time a kid asks mea question I don't know the
answer to, or it's every time astudent rolls their eyes and
says, why are we even learningthis?
you know, maybe someone sayslike, you're the teacher, aren't
(24:20):
you supposed to know theanswers?
Like, oh my God, that wouldstress me out.
Like, think of what thosetrigger topics are in math class
or when you're helping your kidwith your homework and come up
with a game plan.
Be like, all right, when thathappens, here are my grounding
tools that I'm gonna use.
Some of the things we listedbefore.
You can be like, I'm going to inthe moment, make the entire
class take three deep breathswith me.
(24:42):
I'm gonna in that moment to totell the entire class to name
four mathematical objects theycan see around the room, like
you can get the class to do itwith you, so you're not just
like all of a sudden closingyour eyes in silence.
Or you can be like, I'm going totell everyone I need a minute
and I'm going to do a body scan.
Like whatever.
Come up with a game plan now,and next time it happens, you'll
be prepared.
(25:03):
Okay.
So guys, this week I want you topick just one of these five
moments and notice what happensin your mind and body the next
time it shows up.
So, when a student solves aproblem differently than you
expected, when you don't knowthe answer to something
yourself, when the pacing orlesson plan goes completely off
track, when a student expressesfrustration or shuts down or
exhibit signs of math anxiety,and when your own math trauma
(25:25):
gets triggered.
Pick one of those things.
Try one of these strategies andsee if things shift.
Like you have to remember, thecool thing about all of this is
neuroplasticity, right?
Like we are retraining ourbrains how to respond to these
moments, and it's not gonnahappen overnight.
You're still gonna be triggeredby these things, right?
Like the point is not to neverfeel anxious again.
(25:48):
The point is not to erase mathanxiety.
The point here is to transformthese moments into opportunities
for connection, curiosity, andhealing for us and for our
students.
So next time one of thesemoments shows up, notice what
happens in your brain and body.
Pause, name it.
Try the empowerment flip, andthen reflect even just mentally
(26:08):
on what shifted when youresponded differently.
And celebrate that you'reretraining your neural pathway
so the next time that momentpops up, you'll be less anxious.
Remember, these moments aren'tfailures.
They happen to all of us.
They're invitations for us torewrite our math stories for
ourselves and for our students.
Guys, love you.
This was so much fun.
(26:28):
I hope this was useful.
I wanna hear from you.
If you found this helpful, sharethis episode.
Share it with a colleague who'shad one of these moments this
week.
Send it in your WhatsApp likemath department group chat,
'cause I know someone in therehas had one of these moments.
Or send it to one of yourstudents' parents or like your
parent bestie.
They need to hear it.
And I need to hear from you.
So text the podcast with yourthoughts.
(26:48):
The links in the show notes.
DM me on Instagram at the Mathguru.
Email me atvanessa@themathguru.ca and I'll
see you next week with anotherepisode to help you heal math,
trauma, build confidence, changemath culture, talk about juicy,
spicy stuff, break some mathmyth.
Like, I don't know all thethings that we love doing here
(27:09):
at Math Therapy.
This is weird.
Now, I don't have a way to endthis, and I can't say bye
because I can't say bye tomyself.
I'm just looking at David.
He's waving.
Bye guys.
Love you.
You're the best.
Go get em.
That was weird.
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