June 21, 2023 • 48 mins
We've hit the one-year mark of our podcasting journey, and we're incredibly grateful for the support from our amazing listeners. As we celebrate this milestone, we also take a moment to discuss Men's Mental Health Month and the challenges men often face when expressing emotions and seeking help. Through sharing our own experiences of transitioning from a military life to civilian lifestyle, we explore the importance of having the right tools, resources, and support systems to navigate these significant changes.
By talking about our personal health challenges, we uncover how our emotions can impact our mental health, especially when going through a challenging time. We also dive into the topic of self-medicating and the role of lifestyle changes in creating the life we want. From spontaneous outings to discussing the latest firearm releases, we touch on a wide array of subjects that have shaped our lives and our understanding of mental health.
In addition to reflecting on our own experiences, we discuss the FN 545, a new firearm release, and the tragic submarine accident that left five people missing. We wrap up this anniversary episode by reminding ourselves and our listeners of the importance of taking care of our mental health and making time for ourselves. Join us in celebrating one year of learning, growing, and sharing our stories with you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kim (00:12):
Well, 95% of the time my hair is always in a messy bun.
obviously I'm a basic white groher pumpkin spice lattes in the
fall and her hair with herleggings and.
Maverick (00:21):
I have an uncontrollable addiction of
firearms.
Welcome back Episode 27, 6, 9.
9?
.
Kim (00:39):
Maybe I don't know, but that doesn't matter, because it
is actually our one year.
Maverick (00:46):
We've averaged one every two weeks through problems
and TDYs and issues.
Kim (00:51):
Yes, yes, so it has been.
It has been a learning journey,for sure It has been over a
month since our last episode andit's been one year since we
actually started our podcast, sowe just want to say thank you
first off to all of our fans andall of our friends and family,
and whoever is out there in theworld listening to us.
Maverick (01:12):
All 27 of you.
Kim (01:13):
That have stuck with us through the thick and thin and
the.
Maverick (01:15):
How many subscribers do we have?
Kim (01:17):
Don't know.
Maverick (01:19):
How many fans do we have?
Kim (01:20):
Don't know A lot.
Hopefully, maybe, i don't knowI thought about maybe we should
create a little TikTok page.
Maverick (01:27):
How many people follow the Instagram page?
Kim (01:30):
Let's see here On Instagram we have a total of 95 followers
All 95 of you.
Maverick (01:41):
We thank you on joining us on this crazy journey
.
Kim (01:46):
We've learned a lot, so I've learned a lot.
I've learned a lot just throughpodcasting.
on the equipment you need tohave proper equipment so you
don't have issues.
Maverick (01:58):
I've learned that if you are busy people, podcasting
is very difficult.
Kim (02:02):
Yes, i've learned that also , because that has been one of
our struggles, for sure, butwe've made it through and that's
what matters.
We're here, we're queer, we'rehere, just I'm just kidding.
Maverick (02:14):
No, this is Men's Health Month.
Kim (02:17):
What is that?
What is that?
often We're here, we're queer,we're something, i don't know.
Probably one of those moviesthat you can't even make anymore
that gets canceled.
Maverick (02:24):
It's probably Queer Eye for the Street Guy.
Kim (02:26):
No, no, it was a movie that was like a blockbuster movie or
something.
It was like we're here, we'requeer, i don't know.
I think I've said it beforeactually.
Maverick (02:35):
Well, i'm definitely not queer, But we do not look
down upon those who areAbsolutely not, we do have
friends who are queer.
It is LGBTQI2A plus month.
Kim (02:48):
It is Gay Pride Month.
Maverick (02:50):
Yes, And it's also Men's Health Month.
Kim (02:53):
Did you get prostate checked?
Maverick (02:54):
No, men's Mental Health Awareness Month.
Kim (02:56):
It is honey, and I am here for you, and I know you've been
there for me.
Yeah, too bad.
Maverick (03:00):
The rest of the world is too busy supporting a rainbow
flag to care about Men's HealthMonth.
Kim (03:04):
Well, I care about Men's Mental Health Month.
I care about Men's MentalHealth.
I think it.
Maverick (03:08):
I think the only thing that bothers me about it is
like Everybody makes Pride Montha huge thing And you see
everybody going to big ralliesand big parades But nobody's
talking about Men's MentalHealth Month, because we're not
supposed to talk about ourmental health.
Kim (03:21):
I think Men's Mental Health should be way more recognized
than it is, because I feel like,not that trying to single
anyone, not that women don't go,but men put up with a lot Like
it's normal, as you would say,for a woman to go through
emotions or show emotions orshow things in that nature of
(03:42):
having meltdowns or crying, andit's not looked at as a weakness
to where I feel like with menit's looked down upon.
Maverick (03:48):
It's absolutely looked at.
It's looked at as a weakness.
But you just can't talk aboutit though.
Kim (03:53):
Right, because, like You're , supposed to be strong.
Maverick (03:55):
But here's the thing, right.
So if you show your emotion oryou break down or cry or try to
talk to people about it, you getseen as a weak man or you get
looked at as like, are we tryingto change something?
or it's like you're not asstrong as you're supposed to be.
It's like, bro, we're supposedto eat that shit and swallow it.
But then if you tell peopleit's like no, i don't talk about
my emotions, like I'm a man, idon't do that Right, then you're
(04:19):
seen as toxic masculinity andyou're part of the problem.
So like it just doesn't getdiscussed because you're damned
if you do, damned if you go inthis stupid ass, woke ass
culture that has emerged itself.
So, like you, just don't talkabout it.
And if you do talk about it,well, you're seen as weak by
those of us who practice the oldguardways of manliness.
But those of us who do practicethat way, oh, we're the problem
(04:40):
because we're toxic masculinity.
And to me that's the problemwith the world right now is
there's not enough toxicmasculinity left in the world to
represent men as what men needto be.
Kim (04:51):
And those who do represent it, we're seen as like bigots or
warmongers or like mentallyunstable, when, like, we're the
most stable, like we're the moststable people on the planet
Right, Well, that's why I, like,I also try to like tell you,
you know, like it's okay to haveto show emotions because, like,
yes, to be the strong, like,and all that stuff, but it's
(05:13):
okay to have moments and not beokay or have breakdowns, or
because, like men, you strugglea lot, like you said, like you
were saying like, internally,mentally in your mind, that
you're not allowed to, associety says, to express or talk
about it out there with someone.
So that's why, like, i alwaystry to like if I notice little
things.
Maverick (05:34):
Well, there's, there's ways to do it.
Like you should always like meas a man personally, like I
always like, regardless of how Ifeel about something, i always
try to be strong for you, right?
Because like I'm supposed to beyour provider and your
protector, like that's the wayI'm supposed to be.
That's the way I was raised,that's the way my dad was,
that's the way my granddad wasright.
Kim (05:55):
But as for my role is to also be there for you in those
moments where it's like to letyou know that it's okay to break
down.
Like that yes, you're there forme and that doesn't change the
way I view you You still are myprotector but that I am there
for you in the, in your timeswhere you really need to let
things out and like and needhelp in that area to be your
(06:18):
strength, where I, where youhave weaknesses, you know what I
mean.
Like to be there for you inthose type of situations.
Maverick (06:24):
But I also think that's like why I distance
myself sometimes, like not pushmyself away.
It was like like why I playvideo games, or like why I'll
dive down rabbit holes andresearch and looking for
something, or like trying tolearn, learn something else,
like to just escape from theaside, like to escape the
reality that is right now andlike not deal with stuff, like
I'll dive into a new game orlike go down the rabbit hole and
(06:48):
research something that I careabout and like just figuring out
like how do I not think aboutwhat I'm thinking about right
now, and then like time, youknow just takes care of, like
it'll go away, but that doesn'tsolve like underlying issue of
things like really bother mebecause it happens again.
It's like, well, i need to likedecompress again.
Kim (07:06):
Yeah, I feel like I go through that too.
You know, it's like like I'mteetering, like I feel like I'm
doing really well and I'm likedoing things that are keeping my
mind off of the issues of whatthe world is throwing on all of
us or that's whatever istriggering me or causing me to
have like these random emotionalbreakdowns or anxieties or
whatever.
And then when I'm on thatpattern and doing really well, I
(07:30):
haven't really resolvedanything.
Maverick (07:31):
I've just found something to distract myself for
the time being, and a bandaidon a bandaid.
Kim (07:36):
And then next thing, i know , like you said, finding a new
rabbit hole, finding a new thing, because, like I can deep dive
into a good you know fantasy,you know book or whatever, and
then once it's over, or likeread all these books or like
find something to do to occupymy time.
But then once I kind of get outof that of into the, the phase
(07:57):
of like, oh, it's okay, let alittle bit here and there is
fine, or kind of, i kind ofstart start noticing myself
reverting backwards And it'slike I'm not trying to go
backwards, i'm trying tocontinue to go forward.
So where am I going wrong thatI'm losing?
that?
you know, just banned, but,like you said, just bandating it
, you know, so it's.
Maverick (08:18):
I feel like that's a lot of what men do anymore.
It's like we don't.
I mean there's solutions to theproblem right, But like therapy
is very well.
Yeah, I'm not going to.
Kim (08:30):
Oh, I know you're not, but like I don't want anyone to
think, i don't want any men outthere to therapy therapy.
Maverick (08:34):
therapy is an option, right, but I would, i wouldn't
go to therapy unless, like I hada true reason Like to go to
therapy.
Like let me paint a hypotheticalsituation for you, right?
One thing is, I teach in mycourses that if you ever have to
defend yourself in a defensivesin like defend yourself in an
imminent, in a deadly threat,right Where you're forced to
(08:56):
take life to preserve life, Iteach in my courses like that
type of trauma is a real thingAnd it is okay to seek therapy
or counsel in in friends, family, churches, professional
counseling, like whatever youneed, right?
Like that might be something Iseek therapy for.
Like I tried therapy when I gotout of the military for some of
(09:18):
the things that I had to do.
I was there but eventually,like I just had to come to terms
with it And like I was moreangry at myself for going to
therapy than I was.
Like not going to therapy, Yeah, Cause like I was just sitting
in therapy.
The problem with therapy forveterans is it's very hard to
(09:39):
find a veteran therapist.
Kim (09:41):
Yeah, i was just thinking that you took the words out of
my mouth.
Maverick (09:44):
It understands how your mind works because there's
so many therapists today,especially like with this.
Like that new better help orget help app or whatever.
Like the therapist is a dime adozen, but find one who can
identify with you.
Like how much money are yougonna have to spend to find the
right therapist?
and by the time you get there,like that therapist, like if you
(10:08):
find out like a combat vet or avet bro Who really understands
and can help you through, likeyou already are jaded on.
Like having to go throughtherapist after therapist after
therapist and they have to undoall of that crap to finally get
to the real problem.
Right, and when we use myself,i was like I'm not gonna set on
some random couch and talk tosome random stranger about my
(10:29):
problems.
Kim (10:30):
Yeah, no, i understand it, cuz like, and that's why.
I always told you like I'm verypicky about my therapist and I
felt like I've had a strugglelately finding one because I am
like that, like if I go to onesession and I feel like it's not
right, or like I'm reading alltheir stuff and it doesn't sound
like they even care to reallyI'm just another Client on the
books for them, then I'm notwasting my time, like I'm very
(10:53):
hard on myself with finding theright therapist.
Maverick (10:56):
But that's also like where my toxic masculinity, i
guess, comes into play, cuz Iwas like it's my problems, i'll
deal with it, and like I'm justgonna tell myself to get the
fuck over it, like have someInternal and intestinal and like
mental fortitude moments.
I would even say come to Jesus,like I'm just gonna have cement
, like build some mentalfortitude, and I think over the
(11:18):
years it's really changed me asa person like I don't care
nearly as much about otherpeople's feelings as I used to.
Kim (11:27):
I don't know if I said I feel like people who are close
to me.
I'm a compassionate person, butyou definitely you don't let
anyone who you don't care aboutwaste your time like if you know
that you can't Help or controlany situation.
You're not gonna let it.
Like me, on the other hand,like I'm someone who, if I see
someone you need your help, likeI want to help, depend on me
depending on if I care aboutthem or not, but like you know
(11:48):
what I mean.
Like sometimes I like take thaton like I need a problem
solvers and you're like There'snothing you can do about it.
Maverick (11:54):
I think another thing that really grinds my gears.
You know, real chaps my plus,tell me it's a unnecessary
therapy.
Problems right.
So like If people just havesome bullshit problems, like
self created problems, or likeproblems that they could, they
could change if they just stopbeing a lazy piece of shit, or
(12:18):
like no, i'm just kidding likeif the like first world problems
kind of thing.
It's like, if you, if you're, ifyou're, if you're always, woe
is me and my life sucks, andlike I don't know about to do
about this.
Like, have you taken steps totry and change that?
like, if you no-transcript, ican pick myself up out of the
(12:39):
dirt and, like dust myself off.
It's like I did.
I may have failed, but alsofound a way.
It's super cliche, but I alsofound a way not to do that.
Right, like, have your ownafter-action review your own
like lessons learned and keep amental note of like don't do
that anymore.
Right, right, but if youhaven't made progress to try and
fix your situation and allyours, like oh is me Right, and
(13:01):
like, or your problems reallyaren't problems, it's like we
all go through that.
It's not a problem.
That's called life.
Right, you know it's like I haveno sympathy for you.
Kim (13:09):
Yeah, like cuz you can find people you can confide in to
talk to, and if you can't, thenyou should.
But like if you have somethingThat's way more than just the
average every day.
What a normal person averageshow is going through, then yes,
you, it's okay, like, guess, goto therapy, find the help you
need.
If you're reading all the booksand it's not helping or you're
trying to seek out things, it'snot working, like, reach out to
(13:30):
somebody at least, versusconstantly throwing a pity party
for yourself and saying thewhole, like you said, the woe
was me, you know boo-hoo story,but yeah, yeah, dr Pepper, not
beer.
But I'll never forget the daythat I actually went with you to
your therapist because, oh,yeah.
You went through a couple youknow, at first and you were very
(13:51):
like this is stupid, but I haveto go do this.
And then you finally foundsomeone who actually, like
literally took the words.
I'll never forget.
Like you said, he literallytook the words right out of your
mouth.
You are used to do Formstructure.
This is it, this is your job,this is what you need to do.
You do it, you get it done.
You're there's a form, there'sa way of time of this and that,
(14:11):
and then you get into thecivilian role where it's not me,
not my problem, not my job, idon't care.
And you're like what, like they?
just there's no action.
Maverick (14:21):
And so that I just walked around like my first year
getting out of the military wasvery hard transition for me.
Yeah to the civilian workforcewhere, like people, just didn't
give a shit about anything.
Kim (14:32):
Yeah.
Maverick (14:33):
And like I walked around for a year just ready to
punch holes in people.
Kim (14:37):
Yeah, I remember that you were and I was always trying to
like support you whatever youwanted to do to find that, and
Then you kind of would run intopeople who were veterans but
they were already kind of likeassimilated.
A similar yeah, like I wasn'tsaying like succumbing, is that
the right word?
Maverick (14:51):
Yeah, it's a little bit to the civilian.
Kim (14:53):
So there was all that bullshit Acclimated there you go
, whatever.
So when you finally found thatthere, like I remember you came,
you're like I finally foundsomeone and you actually had
asked me to go with you becauseyou found found someone that
really kind of understood Whatyou were going through and so
That was kind of cool.
He was a cool guy.
Maverick (15:13):
Yeah, I like him.
Kim (15:15):
But I mean, yeah, it is hard, it is very hard to find a
therapist, but I don't ever wantanyone to feel like, even as a
man or woman or whoever, thatYou can't find someone to talk
to or reach out to anyone, afriend or whatever it like.
I mean, i've done it plenty oftimes.
We're all sit there andsometimes you just get the last
thing you want is to be in Yourown head so far deep that you
(15:36):
feel you have can't get out.
Yeah, you can't get out of itand sometimes, like You know,
you feel like it doesn't matterwhether you feel like you're
going crazy because I've donethat, like I feel like I'm going
crazy Or something's wrong withme, and I know there's nothing
wrong with me, but my mind isconstantly going non-stop.
Maverick (15:52):
Yeah, there was a.
What was it?
It was a good year and a halfperiod.
You you legitimately thoughtsomething was wrong with you,
like how many times that we goto the doctor and how many tests
, like you literally had everytest known to man.
Kim (16:07):
I think I haven't had as a full body in MRI, but yes, yes,
you've had x-rays and MRIs.
I had a CT scan same thing.
Maverick (16:16):
No, it's not and head scans and all the.
Kim (16:18):
MRIs are not the same as CT .
Maverick (16:20):
You've had multiple panels of blood work done.
Like every time, the doctor islike there's nothing wrong with
you.
Kim (16:28):
No, the only thing they found was that I do have an
allergen like, like in theatmosphere, which I've always
known because I was allergiesand acid reflux.
Yes, i have the GERD, so sothere's that.
And I now have a new thingmigraines, which is, which is a
whole adjustment.
Like I thought I knew whatmigraines were like.
I did not.
I had headaches, like Everyonehas headaches, the headache, oh,
(16:51):
my headache.
I have a splitting headache,whatever.
And I always thought, like whenpeople said, like migraines, it
kind of would be like asplitting headache.
Well, i Don't know this whole.
I was telling you last night,during, like my mental breakdown
, like I don't know if it's likethe over 30s or whatever it is,
of your body changing andhaving that first actual
(17:13):
migraine where I, i, i never Ireally thought like I was
constantly taking ibuprofen allthe time, like I thought
something was wrong, like I, myhead was pounding 24-7.
I was nauseous, like I was dizzy, my vertigo was off, went to
the doctor.
They're like you, probably, yousounds like you have migraines,
like I couldn't move, like thelight, everything.
(17:33):
And then I also noticed likeThe older you get, the more your
mother nature decides to Turnon you, and, hormone wise, like
I feel like my hormones now arejust completely out of act
during that time of the month.
It's, it's insane, but in here,like, yes, i did.
I did go through a time where Ithought and Sometimes like I
(17:54):
thought, everything in the worldwas wrong with me.
I ended up having an endoscopydone, found out everything
inside of me was normal.
First time I'd ever been putunder in my life was Traumatized
by anesthesia.
Yes, cuz you can die.
You can die from it.
The doctor's like it's gonna beokay.
Just think of a nice relaxingbeach.
And I was like I do like thebeach.
He was playing hip-hop in thebackground.
(18:16):
I woke up, told the nurse Ithought he was cute, didn't even
really know what he looked like.
But he let me sleep for anextra 15 minutes I guess, until
I finally woke up.
But I'd never been under in mylife before.
Maverick (18:28):
Great, now I gotta kill a nurse.
Kim (18:30):
No, he was older, he wasn't even that cute when actually he
came back to us if I was.
okay, so but I.
Mean but no like.
And that's when I found out Ihad the allergen and I do notice
when I don't take my allergymedicine and Other than that and
my life.
Maverick (18:44):
My allergies kick my, i guess.
Kim (18:46):
I guess, like I just I mean , i've never had issues like
besides the seasonal allergieslike I grew up in Texas my whole
life and then My mom and I weretalking one day, when I was a
kid, i did live in New Hampshirefor a year and I got very sick,
like I guess my body Didn'tacclimate well to the atmosphere
and I got asthma.
I had an asthma attack when Iwas nine and was hospitalized
(19:07):
for a week and that's where Igot my fear of the butter.
I called the butterfly needle,where they can take your blood,
the little winged needle.
Maverick (19:14):
Okay.
Kim (19:15):
Like that bitch, she stuck it in my hand and she was
wiggling it around.
I was.
I'm traumatized by that thing,but it was cool because back
then, like when they had to getbreathing treatments They
probably still do for kids, butthey had like all the like
dinosaur masks and stuff, so yougot to wear like different.
But yeah, i was hospitalized sobut other than that, like I
never experienced anything likethat.
So when I moved up here toMaryland, like I Was, like I
(19:41):
can't like feel like I couldn'tbreathe a lot, like something
was always wrong, like it just.
And I noticed when I don't take, you know, my Allergy medicine,
i definitely noticed thedifference.
And now I know that there ismigraine medicine That is
different from ibuprofen andthat definitely helps when you
have migraines, not when youhave headaches.
If you just have a headacheit's not really gonna help you.
(20:02):
But Anyhow, like I mean, i'veThought about is somebody here?
Maverick (20:08):
like west is here Oh okay, that's scary.
Kim (20:11):
It's like I hear someone in the house, so anyhow.
But I mean I've thought aboutpossibly Maybe getting back on
something, but I've noticed thatit's only during my cycle that
I really kind of get out.
I mean I think I've been doingbetter.
I mean As you sit there insilence.
Maverick (20:30):
I mean asking you well , the, the, this, like our
recent, like our recent weeks,is not a good judge, because I
was TDI for three weeks I don't,and you always kind of fall
apart when I go to do I.
Kim (20:44):
I do good when you're gone for a week, but I like don't get
so like the first week in aweek or two weeks.
I was fine the last week, whichalso I just started my period.
So I've we've noticed that theweek before my period starts is
kind of when shit hits the fan.
Maverick (21:00):
You from home.
Shit still hits the fan.
Kim (21:02):
Yeah, i totally had a meltdown last night.
Threw up trip was great, butwas it great?
Maverick (21:07):
bro, we were sitting on the couch and you just like
burst into sobs.
Kim (21:14):
But that's not the point We have.
Maverick (21:15):
And, like I, couldn't help but laugh, and not because
I thought it was funny, i know,i know, just because like I'm
looking at the whole gravity ofthe situation, right, and like I
even told you it's like this isnot funny.
But like the funny part to mewas like we're just sitting
there and you just like burstinto sobs And I'm just like,
because I don't like it, it'lljust happen.
Kim (21:36):
I don't like when I don't feel good and when I'm out of
control of my body.
Like I don't like that feelingIf I don't feel like I'm in
control or something's wrong.
Because the moment I feelsomething's wrong, my mind
instantly gets triggered back tosevere anxiety attacks or
things from the past.
I'm like I don't want to feellike I'm going backwards And
it's like I told you last night,like I don't want you to ever
(21:57):
think that I'm going backwards.
So that's why.
But yeah, we have establishedthat when you're gone for a long
period of time, tty it's notalways worked out, especially
like the last week was reallykind of rough for me.
But I sat there and I thoughtlike how the hell did I do it
for two years?
(22:19):
And then I look back and Ithink why also, kind of like
drink a lot, like not going tolie, like I pretty much drink
like every day, versus now, likewe don't drink.
We drink on the weekends and Imight have a drink here or there
during the week, like a Y clawhere, a Y claw there, but like
we don't drink during the week.
Like I used to, i used to drink.
(22:40):
I'd get home, do?
Maverick (22:41):
you use to drink a bottle of wine a night.
Kim (22:44):
Yes, i used to drink a bottle of wine at night, like I
would drink because I wouldalways buy a box of wine because
it was cheaper, so I reallydidn't count.
I would pour glass, like to mea glass of wine is a nice full
glass of wine.
Well, that's like two glasses,which is technically four
glasses of wine, because you'reonly having two glasses and the
bottle is gone, and I would havelike four of those at night,
(23:06):
like until I fell asleep.
And I remember one time I got ahair at my ass a few months
back No, this was last year Ihad stopped drinking wine, like
I'll have wine here and they'relike don't get me wrong, i still
love my wine on occasion, but Idon't drink it like I used to.
And I remember one time I itwas on whatever a weekend, and I
was like man, wine sounds sogood.
And so we got a bottle of wineand I thought, I could crush my
(23:29):
bottle of wine Like no big dealon my part.
I remember the next day I wasmiserable and.
I remember telling you I don'tknow how I used to do it, and
you looked at me and you gothink about it.
Babe, you used to do this everyday And I'm like I don't know,
no wonder.
Maverick (23:46):
You also used to be miserable every day.
Kim (23:49):
I was.
Maverick (23:49):
I'm not that miserable anymore That miserable, anymore
I don't like to think.
Kim (23:54):
I don't like to think.
I'm doing better.
Maverick (23:56):
No, I would agree.
You've come a long way.
Kim (23:59):
It was a really hard time for me and I think you know
we've grown a lot.
Our communication is a lotbetter than what it used to be,
like we talk about everythingand I'm very happy with our
relationship.
And I'm going to cry becauseI'm an emotional mystery, not a
good time to talk aboutsomething.
Oh, thanks, when you're on aperiod, i mean, it's full for a
(24:26):
pit yesterday, so I am full ofemotions all the way, like I'm
very, very a needy woman rightnow, but anywho.
So I just think.
I think mental awareness isjust kind of circling back.
It's just you should be aware onall friends, both men and women
(24:46):
not just women, but men need itjust as much too.
They need to know that theyhave someone to talk to And I
like that we are people.
I like to think that ourfriends trust and come to us,
that they can tell us anythingAnd like, even like our
girlfriends, your guy friend,like whatever that, even when it
comes to something that asclose as you and I are, like you
can have a conversation withsomeone and they can trust that
(25:07):
you're not going to come andblab it to me.
Just like my girlfriends cantrust me or like a friend of
ours.
That is like, or vice versa islike.
Maverick (25:14):
I have people that talk to you that you're the same
and guy friends, that same forme.
Well, i think it's becausepeople realize we understand
like we have been through a lottogether And we also.
We aren't necessarily the I sawthis in a quote.
We aren't necessarily thepeople that have people.
We are the people that otherpeople have.
Kim (25:36):
Yeah.
Maverick (25:37):
Right, like we don't really have people, but we are
the, we are the people, otherpeople have, i have some people.
Right, But like.
Kim (25:44):
I got some blonde hoes.
Maverick (25:46):
If our friends wanted to talk to us as a couple, then
they would talk to us as acouple, absolutely.
So, like some of the things, ifyour girlfriends wanted to talk
to you, it's like, oh, you'retalking with us.
Like, oh, we were just talkingabout.
Like, they want to talk to meabout some stuff.
I was like, cool, yeah, likethat's not my place to.
Kim (26:02):
To like to know everything, same thing with you.
Like, you'll tell me, like, oh,nothing to worry about.
I'm like, okay, what if you, ifyou felt the need to tell me,
you would tell me.
Maverick (26:08):
Our friends realize that we have that separation
because there's not everythingthat everybody needs to know,
right.
Kim (26:14):
Right And like and we're not perfect by any means, and I
think that's what our friendsthat do confide in us, like,
have come to realize, and theones that have been there from
the beginning or even knew likethat would never think anything
like, oh, you guys have gone,like, yeah, you have no idea,
like what we've been through,but we have grown so much.
And that's what makes us who weare And our love has just.
(26:36):
You know.
You know we're not perfect,we've gone through some stuff,
but I think what we are So,going back to like your emotions
, you know what I wish.
Maverick (26:45):
Like was a possibility .
Kim (26:47):
What.
Maverick (26:48):
Is to trade lenses for a day.
Kim (26:50):
See, i think that.
But then I feel like if I sawyou I would be way more
traumatized and wish I wouldhave never.
Just seen that.
I want to rewind like, not likelike black mirror type shit.
Maverick (27:02):
Not like our past traumas, like not past traumas
and shit we've had to deal withlike not our internal demons?
Kim (27:08):
right, okay, yes.
Maverick (27:11):
But like I wish we could trade mindsets for a day.
Kim (27:13):
Okay.
Maverick (27:14):
I could see the world through your mindset.
Like you're you.
You want to see the good inpeople and you want to believe
that everything is positive andlike see the world how you see
it and like process informationas you process it and have the
emotions that you have.
But I would also want you toexperience the way I see the
world and like why I processinformation, the way I process
(27:37):
Now, is that is that from pasttraumas and past things we've
done and things we've witnessed?
Absolutely I wouldn't wish thepain like the mental, the mental
pain, the physical pain and theanguish that I had to go
through to become the man I amtoday.
I don't want you to ever haveto experience that which is I
(27:59):
see the way I see it.
I see the world the way I seeit because I want to shelter you
from ever having to see thatright, so like I will take that
full on, so you don't have tosee it.
Kim (28:09):
Yeah, and I do that too with people Like I know mine.
I'm not trying to compare likeobviously, like you've
experienced things that I'venever, I hope to never
experience in my life, you know,or things or something like
that, And I know there arethings that I've gone through
that you've never you know hadto deal with And I don't want
yeah And I don't.
I would never wish what I'veever gone through on anyone and
like I always.
(28:29):
You know if anyone has evercome to me about like anxiety or
things like like I I'm of call,like call me a bitch and I
don't care, or harsh, but I amvery strict.
I hate like.
I'm very thankful that anxietyis talked about today, but it
drives me insane how leisurelyit's used It.
(28:50):
It pisses me off because everytime I turn I have anxiety.
I have anxiety.
There's a difference betweenbeing anxious and full on having
anxiety and having anxietyattacks and full on fight or
flight moments.
You think the world is endingAnd like I can't stand people
who are just like I'm anxious.
I have anxiety because they'restressed about something versus
(29:15):
out of nowhere.
You're having a perfectly goodday And next thing you know the
world, the sky is falling.
You don't know what the hell iswrong with it.
You're out of control of yourbody.
You think you're dying.
You can't, you know.
It's because the societalstandard is weak And I'm and I'm
very mean about that And I trynot to be because I'm very
understanding, but I just when Ijust see the like I'm not
(29:35):
saying that I know what everyonegoes through, but I just, the
way is just, everyone is like Ihave anxiety, i have anxiety And
I'm like do you, or are youjust anxious about something and
you just need to kind ofbreathe it through, talk it out?
versus like really, like I meanI've gone to the hospital
thinking I'm fucking dying.
Like I've gone to the hospitalthinking like the world is
(29:56):
ending.
I don't know what's wrong withme.
I'm crazy.
They're going to put me on thefifth floor, ninth floor,
whatever.
Maverick (30:01):
Give you one of those self-hugging jackets.
Kim (30:03):
Yeah, put me in the white powdered powdered powdered White
powdered room.
Catted room Okay.
Maverick (30:07):
Don't even want to thank you.
Kim (30:09):
But versus when I go there, like the first time I ever got
out of it in a hospital, like Iremember pleading to the nurse
telling her I wasn't crazy, likeI swear I'm not crazy, and she
told me she's like you're not,you're having an anxiety attack,
but you need to give me consentto give you this medicine,
otherwise it's not.
And then like to calm you downAnd she's like you're not crazy.
(30:29):
But that's when I came to kindof realize You's crazy.
No, no.
Anxiety versus like and it wasscary, it is scary.
So when I do get a hint ofanxiousness, like, i do worry.
It is a trigger for me And I dotry to work through that Like,
and especially when I had anight terrors too, it just is a
(30:52):
whole nother issue on its own, ijust think.
Maverick (30:53):
I think people are using anxiety anymore who don't
understand it as a crutch,because Agree yes.
The social standard has.
we are a society of weakstandards, like, for example,
it's 2023.
Think of the caliber of man andwoman that were walking the
streets in 1923.
Right, like every man knew howto build a log cabin.
(31:16):
Like every man knew how to plowa field.
Kim (31:19):
Not every man knows how to even remotely change a tire
right now.
Maverick (31:22):
Right, like a woman knew how to be a homemaker.
A woman knew how to be ahomesteader.
A woman knew how to make afamily survive should her man
dive like dysentery or typhoidfever.
Right, and yeah, the flu, thepolio.
Like we had men we just foughtthe First World War.
(31:44):
Like storming beaches and womenworking in factories making
bullets.
And now they got to put.
Like carve manuals used to tellyou how to adjust the valve
latch and you're the valve lashin your engine.
Now it tells you don't drinkthe contents of the battery.
Like it's.
(32:04):
Because I've said this beforeon this podcast hard men create
good times.
Good times create weak men.
Weak men create hard times.
We are in the transition ofweak men create hard times well,
that's like have you seen that?
Kim (32:18):
it's an old meme where it's a good time to get a good life
style changes in the line isempty.
And then the simple problem ofI have this, this and this.
Let me just get a pill and myall my problems will be solved
and everyone would just have theeasy fix of take this
supplement versus.
I may not need this pill.
(32:39):
If I just do some lifestylechanges, that will help and then
I'll know if I really needsomething, like I don't mean I
have nothing, because I meanI've been on medication or
whatever, but I.
There's nothing wrong withtaking medicine, but like what
are you doing in your lifestyle?
that is causing this are youactually doing something to help
?
Maverick (32:57):
it's like saying like oh, i'm fat, so I need to get
liposuction yeah, or I need tobe on?
what is it like them?
or no?
no, what is?
is that what?
it is the weight loss thing fordiabetes but let me like.
My example is like I'm fat, soI need to get liposuction.
I won't be fat anymore.
Well, you eat three dominoes,pizzas and a 12 pack of Dr
Pepper every day yeah, right, somaybe try a salad maybe try not
(33:19):
eating three pizzas and a caseof Dr Pepper every day and see
if you're not fat anymore right,yeah, exactly, yeah, true, or
yeah, or maybe everybody wantsinstant gratification, instant
fixes.
Nobody's really to work for itexactly like oh, i won't say
nobody, i'll say the majority ofthe American populace right.
Kim (33:37):
Yeah, it's like the same thing, like everybody is hiring,
but then everyone says nobody'shiring, it's just no, you just
don't want you don't want towork you don't want to work or
you don't want to work there,you don't.
You don't have to work thereforever, but at least it's
something for the time being,versus sitting on your ass and
complaining about it.
Like if I lost my job tomorrowI wouldn't sit here, i pissed,
(33:59):
but like I wouldn't sit here andjust rely on you.
I would be out looking forsomething.
Or you know what.
If I got to go work down at thegrocery store for the time
being, until something elsecomes along in my career path,
then so be it.
But at least I'm contributingto society today, is that right?
Maverick (34:17):
yes, okay, go work for Vincent Castle Bay sure he said
oh hi, i mean heartbeat.
Kim (34:24):
That is something to I also kind of want to just address
real quick with mental health aswell.
You know, a lot of us, theworld we kind of live in,
everyone wants to be a home body, but sometimes you need to go
out and especially if you're ina relationship, you get so
caught up in so many things andsometimes you just need a day
(34:45):
out doing something.
It doesn't have to be anythingextravagant, it can just be
going in window shoppingsomewhere, but like taking that
time and actually Saturday yeah,like sat and that's like
Saturday.
You know, we just went to go.
You had to go pick up your guns, for plan was okay, we'll go
pick up the gun and then we'lljust go.
You know, come back home, hangout, you know, enjoy the day
(35:06):
outside.
It was a really beautiful day.
We'll take the bike, it'll be anice ride.
And I was thinking, you know,something we've always enjoyed
is going to Pip's Dock Streetdown in Annapolis, which you
should go if you've never beento Pip's.
Dock Street dogs most the besthot dogs.
Like I don't need hot dogs butthey like I'm like, i'm down for
some pips and so you don'tdemolish Pip's hot dogs so I
thought like okay, you've beengone for three weeks, like this
(35:28):
would be.
I wonder if you, if you, wouldbe down.
I was like no, he just got home.
I think the last thing he wantsto go do is go down to
Annapolis on a Saturday.
So I didn't say anything but Ilike had this whole conversation
play out in my head as you werecooking breakfast as I was
cooking breakfast.
So then we went to go.
We were on our way to get thegun and then you said, hey, you
(35:48):
want to go to Pip's and get somefood later.
And I was like, oh my god, yes,you like spoke to my heart, it
just a further moment thing.
So we said, okay, we'll go getthe gun, we'll, you know, come
back home we'll hop on the bikeand we'll go downtown.
And then what was supposed tojust be a we were sitting at
Pip's.
Go grab lunch like so you wantto go to Castle Bay and have a
(36:10):
beer, and they were like okay,so we went to Castle Bay and had
a beer.
That turned into more drinks,and to a really great time so
well I reached out to.
Maverick (36:19):
We were.
We were sitting there having abeer and it was kind of dead and
I've been real good friendswith the with the owner, since I
went to school here, and Iasked the new girl behind the
bar if he was here.
She's like I'll know who'll bein later for the, the band
that's coming in.
So we were looking, we werelooking around for speak easy
(36:43):
like speak easy esque typeplaces and I really like that
parlay room.
It wasn't really a speak easybut no but they were good they
were good, i liked.
Kim (36:51):
I liked their, i like their old fashioned, it was good yeah
, they're in the char koocheeboard was good yeah, we never
did try that, harold Blacksplace no, we ended up going back
to.
Maverick (37:03):
Castle Bay because our friend, our, friend was working
.
Kim (37:05):
Yeah, and Vince ended up being there.
Maverick (37:08):
Yeah and Vince had a really good conversation.
Always have a good conversationwith him.
Why?
Kim (37:11):
don't see him that often and he's got, he's from Ireland
just has the accent and justsuch a sweetheart so the band
was really good.
Maverick (37:20):
Drunken scholars yes, they were so they were Irish
Irish folk band and they werereally good they were really
good.
Kim (37:27):
It was a.
Maverick (37:28):
We had a really really good time saying whiskey in a
jar and rambling bog and yeah awhole mess of a good time so
definitely felt it the next daythen went and sang a little
karaoke little sang, a littlekaraoke at our little hole in
the wall bar.
Kim (37:44):
We had been doing a while that we like to go to appear
sometimes, but sometimes justlike things like, like spur the
moment, things like we were, wethought we were going to.
Maverick (37:53):
Just we did not plan on making an evening of it.
No, we're just gonna get hotdogs to go home yeah and so.
Kim (37:58):
But it ended up being a really good time and like those
things for us, like we're reallywell and you know, just
sometimes just kind of spur themoment things going on and doing
something, even if it is justto.
I mean, we've had it where, hey, let's go to Best Buy or let's
go to one day we were driving,we're like, let's go to medieval
times that was such a good timebut sometimes like and you
(38:19):
don't like.
Yes, those things cost money,but sometimes it doesn't even
have to be that.
It can be a simple like if youhave a hiking place next to you,
some something that's free, youknow, just to get out, enjoy
the weather sometimes, take adrive, just listen to music.
Take a drive and listen tomusic, you know.
Or go for a walk or something,just I don't know.
Mental health is very, veryimportant and I am a huge
(38:45):
supporter of it, like of gettingwhatever help you need in any
way.
Maverick (38:49):
That is like don't ever I don't ever want anyone
ever feel today if everyone,anyone ever come in like I'm
seeking help for my mentalhealth.
I'm not going to judge them no,but then when I get home, i'm
going to reflect on what type ofmental health you need.
You think you have, and then Imight secretly judge you.
In my mind it's like you.
You don't really need help, youjust need to grow up.
Kim (39:08):
I want everyone like our.
My door is always open, likeI've always said, like I'm
always willing to talk to anyone.
We've always been that way.
Whatever our friends need, nomatter how big or small,
meticulous, meticulous, whatever, no matter how meticulous it is
.
Sometimes I know on thispodcast I'm sure I've probably
(39:30):
made myself sound stupid,sputtering out random words, but
you mentioned it, so I'm goingto talk about it so oh got a new
toy got a little time we gotplenty of time right, we're at
40 minutesnow, we got plenty of time so I
think this records up to 60.
So, yeah, wonderful yeah.
Maverick (39:52):
So, as most of you know, i am an fn fanboy, fn
America.
So I just got the newestrelease from fn, the fn 545.
It is their I crew fired pistolbuilt on the 509 frame and 45
ACP, 18 plus one capacity.
(40:12):
Except I got cooked by thecommunist state of Maryland
stuck with 10 round mags, soI'll have to go find some
elsewhere outside of thiswonderful state.
Overall first impressions, iabsolutely am in love with this
firearm.
It's going to be my new carryfirearm because it is small
enough that I can.
I can carry it comfortably andconceal it well.
(40:33):
I have topped it with anotherhollow son optic, the hs 507 CX,
to absolutely love this optic.
I've got one on my fnx.
The only complaint I have aboutthis particular firearm is the
trigger in this one.
It's a little squishy at firstwith the new built in trigger
safety and the wall is a littlesquishy.
(40:55):
But from the reviews that I'veread online, like Hickok 45 did
one of these as well.
With a couple hundred roundsthat loosens up.
So it'll it'll even itself outand it's only a matter of time
before they come out withaftermarket triggers and
everything form.
But I absolutely love this.
It fits the hand better thanthe FNX does because it's the
(41:16):
grip textures a little moreaggressive and it's not as wide.
It's still a double stack.
But the way they built it onthe 509 platform I'm super happy
with it.
I haven't shot this onesuppressed yet so I'll have to
look into it.
Of course, holster options andeverything are limited right now
just because it released lastmonth and like they're not
(41:37):
making the field dark earthmagazines for it.
So like I have field dark earthgun but black magazines, so
that like the aesthetics alittle off.
But because my flashlight Iordered a goon beam, by the way.
Well, it's because every big.
Well, because the opticwhatever lasers on handguns are
stupid the optic itself is theblack version and then my
(42:01):
flashlight will be black.
So it'll be like field darkearth and black two-tone or
field dark earth accompaniedwith black accoutrements.
So overall impressions, i'mreally happy with the firearm.
I haven't shot it incompetition yet but I'll
probably will hear soon just tosee how it does, how it performs
in comparison to my FNX.
So if you've been looking for anew modern 45, highly recommend
(42:23):
the FN 545.
Kim (42:24):
Tactical love it he loves it all, not, no, i guess,
anything else you'd like to addto today?
Maverick (42:34):
you've been talking about.
You've been looking at thislike submarine with five people
missing yeah, the Titanic.
Kim (42:40):
I wonder if I heard that someone before got stuck
underneath and like talked abouthow they got, were able to get
out, but they, like I don't know, they that you know, it's
$250,000 per seat to go down andthere's five people on board.
Yeah, well, the billionaire isthe guy well, i think it's
stupid.
(43:01):
Well, there I, i pray and hopethat they are found safely as do
I but I, from what I understandit, the oxygen is only 40 hours
of oxygen left.
Well, that was four hours agothat was, i think if they had,
like what?
enough oxygen for like 90something hours, and that's
already surpassed.
No, are you sure?
Maverick (43:22):
they briefed earlier this afternoon.
They had 40 hours of oxygenleft, but well one.
They fucked up and they calledthe Coast Guard first.
The Coast Guard has no theycan't go down the Coast Guard
has no ASW capability, right, sothey should have called the
fucking Navy.
Well, did they call the Navy?
well, they said more.
More search and rescueplatforms are in route maybe who
(43:46):
do you think they called?
Kim (43:48):
we have planes designed to hunt submarines, so well, i mean
if they're stuck in a roomsomewhere or under they're not
in the Titanic that's what theywere saying they go down to see
the Titanic no, but I thought,well, yeah, but I thought that
they got there and it got lostsomewhere, like if they might be
(44:08):
stuck underneath it orsomething.
If they're exploring, they arelike they're explaining they
might be stuck somewhere couldbe, who knows?
Maverick (44:14):
I?
Kim (44:14):
mean, but what do you think could?
Maverick (44:17):
have happened the.
Russians possibly I think theRussians got them you think so
yeah yeah, i don't know.
I I hope and pray for the safereturn of all of those on board.
Kim (44:36):
Well, that's a horrible way to go, because you think about
it like a fixation they passaway they'll go to sleep first
yeah, but like you can't
Maverick (44:45):
breathe, yeah, but you'll just like the ox.
The way your body works is likeas your oxygen slowly goes down
, you just go to sleep and don'twake up.
It's like you're not gonna know.
You're just gonna go to sleepand die.
But the thing that the thingwas crazy to me is they paid
$250,000 and I watched thewalkthrough of this submarine.
It's literally controlled witha video game controller and
(45:07):
there's a curtain.
Like if you have to go to thebathroom, there's a curtain,
they just turn the music up.
So you pay $250,000 to shit ina bucket.
Kim (45:14):
I'm gonna find treasure like I don't care to well, the
heart of the oceans down there.
Maverick (45:23):
I watched Rose throw it and I guarantee you jack's
down there somewhere cuz thatselfish bitch.
There was room for two peoplein that door there was
definitely room for two peopleon that I've seen the breakdown
did you see that?
Kim (45:33):
he tried to talk about how there wasn't room for a tune?
like no, everyone they're like.
There's studies?
like no, we just know thatthat's how he wanted the movie
to be she was a selfish whore.
Well, never, anyhow is what itis.
She lived life, poor Jack,poorly.
Narnia's been 84 years.
Maverick (45:56):
Yeah, well anyway all right.
Kim (45:58):
Well, for all those of you out there, it is meant mental
health awareness month, so,please, and pride month and
pride month.
So but grab your loved one,tell him you love them, cuz you
never know what tomorrow canbring.
And I think that's all I got toadd.
(46:19):
Thank you for I got.
I got a closing comment.
Maverick (46:23):
And the guys at bang steel like this okay, well, i
hope they listen all gun law isunconstitutional and isn't
infringement of my secondamendment.
Right, okay, because the factthat I can't go on Amazon and
buy an M67 fragmentation grenadeis all the proof that I need
(46:44):
now.
I really hope to see those guyssoon.
I'm gonna schedule some classtime to go down there and see
him.
Kim (46:49):
Let the six five stretch its legs, but anyway, enough of
that we're glad that you guyshave stuck with us and we hope
you continue to.
We're gonna continue to try todo better and post weekly we
upgraded equipment so we did.
We're slowly upgrading to moreequipment to do better.
So, as always, you can followus on Instagram at messy butts
(47:12):
and shotguns.
You can also follow us both ontiktok, so thank.
My handle is at Kim possible1473 and I think yours is they
Maverick no, it's just Maverickunderscore 915 they call me
Maverick is my Instagram anyway,you can find all of our stuff
through our Instagram page and,as always, we'd love to hear
(47:34):
from you your comments.
Let us know how the soundquality changed yeah, because I
upgraded equipment and it betterwork.
No, so you.
Well, 95% of the time my hair is always in a messy bun.
obviously I'm a basic white groher pumpkin spice lattes in the
fall and her hair with herleggings and.
Maverick (00:21):
I have an uncontrollable addiction of
firearms.
Welcome back Episode 27, 6, 9.
9?
.
Kim (00:39):
Maybe I don't know, but that doesn't matter, because it
is actually our one year.
Maverick (00:46):
We've averaged one every two weeks through problems
and TDYs and issues.
Kim (00:51):
Yes, yes, so it has been.
It has been a learning journey,for sure It has been over a
month since our last episode andit's been one year since we
actually started our podcast, sowe just want to say thank you
first off to all of our fans andall of our friends and family,
and whoever is out there in theworld listening to us.
Maverick (01:12):
All 27 of you.
Kim (01:13):
That have stuck with us through the thick and thin and
the.
Maverick (01:15):
How many subscribers do we have?
Kim (01:17):
Don't know.
Maverick (01:19):
How many fans do we have?
Kim (01:20):
Don't know A lot.
Hopefully, maybe, i don't knowI thought about maybe we should
create a little TikTok page.
Maverick (01:27):
How many people follow the Instagram page?
Kim (01:30):
Let's see here On Instagram we have a total of 95 followers
All 95 of you.
Maverick (01:41):
We thank you on joining us on this crazy journey
.
Kim (01:46):
We've learned a lot, so I've learned a lot.
I've learned a lot just throughpodcasting.
on the equipment you need tohave proper equipment so you
don't have issues.
Maverick (01:58):
I've learned that if you are busy people, podcasting
is very difficult.
Kim (02:02):
Yes, i've learned that also , because that has been one of
our struggles, for sure, butwe've made it through and that's
what matters.
We're here, we're queer, we'rehere, just I'm just kidding.
Maverick (02:14):
No, this is Men's Health Month.
Kim (02:17):
What is that?
What is that?
often We're here, we're queer,we're something, i don't know.
Probably one of those moviesthat you can't even make anymore
that gets canceled.
Maverick (02:24):
It's probably Queer Eye for the Street Guy.
Kim (02:26):
No, no, it was a movie that was like a blockbuster movie or
something.
It was like we're here, we'requeer, i don't know.
I think I've said it beforeactually.
Maverick (02:35):
Well, i'm definitely not queer, But we do not look
down upon those who areAbsolutely not, we do have
friends who are queer.
It is LGBTQI2A plus month.
Kim (02:48):
It is Gay Pride Month.
Maverick (02:50):
Yes, And it's also Men's Health Month.
Kim (02:53):
Did you get prostate checked?
Maverick (02:54):
No, men's Mental Health Awareness Month.
Kim (02:56):
It is honey, and I am here for you, and I know you've been
there for me.
Yeah, too bad.
Maverick (03:00):
The rest of the world is too busy supporting a rainbow
flag to care about Men's HealthMonth.
Kim (03:04):
Well, I care about Men's Mental Health Month.
I care about Men's MentalHealth.
I think it.
Maverick (03:08):
I think the only thing that bothers me about it is
like Everybody makes Pride Montha huge thing And you see
everybody going to big ralliesand big parades But nobody's
talking about Men's MentalHealth Month, because we're not
supposed to talk about ourmental health.
Kim (03:21):
I think Men's Mental Health should be way more recognized
than it is, because I feel like,not that trying to single
anyone, not that women don't go,but men put up with a lot Like
it's normal, as you would say,for a woman to go through
emotions or show emotions orshow things in that nature of
(03:42):
having meltdowns or crying, andit's not looked at as a weakness
to where I feel like with menit's looked down upon.
Maverick (03:48):
It's absolutely looked at.
It's looked at as a weakness.
But you just can't talk aboutit though.
Kim (03:53):
Right, because, like You're , supposed to be strong.
Maverick (03:55):
But here's the thing, right.
So if you show your emotion oryou break down or cry or try to
talk to people about it, you getseen as a weak man or you get
looked at as like, are we tryingto change something?
or it's like you're not asstrong as you're supposed to be.
It's like, bro, we're supposedto eat that shit and swallow it.
But then if you tell peopleit's like no, i don't talk about
my emotions, like I'm a man, idon't do that Right, then you're
(04:19):
seen as toxic masculinity andyou're part of the problem.
So like it just doesn't getdiscussed because you're damned
if you do, damned if you go inthis stupid ass, woke ass
culture that has emerged itself.
So, like you, just don't talkabout it.
And if you do talk about it,well, you're seen as weak by
those of us who practice the oldguardways of manliness.
But those of us who do practicethat way, oh, we're the problem
(04:40):
because we're toxic masculinity.
And to me that's the problemwith the world right now is
there's not enough toxicmasculinity left in the world to
represent men as what men needto be.
Kim (04:51):
And those who do represent it, we're seen as like bigots or
warmongers or like mentallyunstable, when, like, we're the
most stable, like we're the moststable people on the planet
Right, Well, that's why I, like,I also try to like tell you,
you know, like it's okay to haveto show emotions because, like,
yes, to be the strong, like,and all that stuff, but it's
(05:13):
okay to have moments and not beokay or have breakdowns, or
because, like men, you strugglea lot, like you said, like you
were saying like, internally,mentally in your mind, that
you're not allowed to, associety says, to express or talk
about it out there with someone.
So that's why, like, i alwaystry to like if I notice little
things.
Maverick (05:34):
Well, there's, there's ways to do it.
Like you should always like meas a man personally, like I
always like, regardless of how Ifeel about something, i always
try to be strong for you, right?
Because like I'm supposed to beyour provider and your
protector, like that's the wayI'm supposed to be.
That's the way I was raised,that's the way my dad was,
that's the way my granddad wasright.
Kim (05:55):
But as for my role is to also be there for you in those
moments where it's like to letyou know that it's okay to break
down.
Like that yes, you're there forme and that doesn't change the
way I view you You still are myprotector but that I am there
for you in the, in your timeswhere you really need to let
things out and like and needhelp in that area to be your
(06:18):
strength, where I, where youhave weaknesses, you know what I
mean.
Like to be there for you inthose type of situations.
Maverick (06:24):
But I also think that's like why I distance
myself sometimes, like not pushmyself away.
It was like like why I playvideo games, or like why I'll
dive down rabbit holes andresearch and looking for
something, or like trying tolearn, learn something else,
like to just escape from theaside, like to escape the
reality that is right now andlike not deal with stuff, like
I'll dive into a new game orlike go down the rabbit hole and
(06:48):
research something that I careabout and like just figuring out
like how do I not think aboutwhat I'm thinking about right
now, and then like time, youknow just takes care of, like
it'll go away, but that doesn'tsolve like underlying issue of
things like really bother mebecause it happens again.
It's like, well, i need to likedecompress again.
Kim (07:06):
Yeah, I feel like I go through that too.
You know, it's like like I'mteetering, like I feel like I'm
doing really well and I'm likedoing things that are keeping my
mind off of the issues of whatthe world is throwing on all of
us or that's whatever istriggering me or causing me to
have like these random emotionalbreakdowns or anxieties or
whatever.
And then when I'm on thatpattern and doing really well, I
(07:30):
haven't really resolvedanything.
Maverick (07:31):
I've just found something to distract myself for
the time being, and a bandaidon a bandaid.
Kim (07:36):
And then next thing, i know , like you said, finding a new
rabbit hole, finding a new thing, because, like I can deep dive
into a good you know fantasy,you know book or whatever, and
then once it's over, or likeread all these books or like
find something to do to occupymy time.
But then once I kind of get outof that of into the, the phase
(07:57):
of like, oh, it's okay, let alittle bit here and there is
fine, or kind of, i kind ofstart start noticing myself
reverting backwards And it'slike I'm not trying to go
backwards, i'm trying tocontinue to go forward.
So where am I going wrong thatI'm losing?
that?
you know, just banned, but,like you said, just bandating it
, you know, so it's.
Maverick (08:18):
I feel like that's a lot of what men do anymore.
It's like we don't.
I mean there's solutions to theproblem right, But like therapy
is very well.
Yeah, I'm not going to.
Kim (08:30):
Oh, I know you're not, but like I don't want anyone to
think, i don't want any men outthere to therapy therapy.
Maverick (08:34):
therapy is an option, right, but I would, i wouldn't
go to therapy unless, like I hada true reason Like to go to
therapy.
Like let me paint a hypotheticalsituation for you, right?
One thing is, I teach in mycourses that if you ever have to
defend yourself in a defensivesin like defend yourself in an
imminent, in a deadly threat,right Where you're forced to
(08:56):
take life to preserve life, Iteach in my courses like that
type of trauma is a real thingAnd it is okay to seek therapy
or counsel in in friends, family, churches, professional
counseling, like whatever youneed, right?
Like that might be something Iseek therapy for.
Like I tried therapy when I gotout of the military for some of
(09:18):
the things that I had to do.
I was there but eventually,like I just had to come to terms
with it And like I was moreangry at myself for going to
therapy than I was.
Like not going to therapy, Yeah, Cause like I was just sitting
in therapy.
The problem with therapy forveterans is it's very hard to
(09:39):
find a veteran therapist.
Kim (09:41):
Yeah, i was just thinking that you took the words out of
my mouth.
Maverick (09:44):
It understands how your mind works because there's
so many therapists today,especially like with this.
Like that new better help orget help app or whatever.
Like the therapist is a dime adozen, but find one who can
identify with you.
Like how much money are yougonna have to spend to find the
right therapist?
and by the time you get there,like that therapist, like if you
(10:08):
find out like a combat vet or avet bro Who really understands
and can help you through, likeyou already are jaded on.
Like having to go throughtherapist after therapist after
therapist and they have to undoall of that crap to finally get
to the real problem.
Right, and when we use myself,i was like I'm not gonna set on
some random couch and talk tosome random stranger about my
(10:29):
problems.
Kim (10:30):
Yeah, no, i understand it, cuz like, and that's why.
I always told you like I'm verypicky about my therapist and I
felt like I've had a strugglelately finding one because I am
like that, like if I go to onesession and I feel like it's not
right, or like I'm reading alltheir stuff and it doesn't sound
like they even care to reallyI'm just another Client on the
books for them, then I'm notwasting my time, like I'm very
(10:53):
hard on myself with finding theright therapist.
Maverick (10:56):
But that's also like where my toxic masculinity, i
guess, comes into play, cuz Iwas like it's my problems, i'll
deal with it, and like I'm justgonna tell myself to get the
fuck over it, like have someInternal and intestinal and like
mental fortitude moments.
I would even say come to Jesus,like I'm just gonna have cement
, like build some mentalfortitude, and I think over the
(11:18):
years it's really changed me asa person like I don't care
nearly as much about otherpeople's feelings as I used to.
Kim (11:27):
I don't know if I said I feel like people who are close
to me.
I'm a compassionate person, butyou definitely you don't let
anyone who you don't care aboutwaste your time like if you know
that you can't Help or controlany situation.
You're not gonna let it.
Like me, on the other hand,like I'm someone who, if I see
someone you need your help, likeI want to help, depend on me
depending on if I care aboutthem or not, but like you know
(11:48):
what I mean.
Like sometimes I like take thaton like I need a problem
solvers and you're like There'snothing you can do about it.
Maverick (11:54):
I think another thing that really grinds my gears.
You know, real chaps my plus,tell me it's a unnecessary
therapy.
Problems right.
So like If people just havesome bullshit problems, like
self created problems, or likeproblems that they could, they
could change if they just stopbeing a lazy piece of shit, or
(12:18):
like no, i'm just kidding likeif the like first world problems
kind of thing.
It's like, if you, if you're, ifyou're, if you're always, woe
is me and my life sucks, andlike I don't know about to do
about this.
Like, have you taken steps totry and change that?
like, if you no-transcript, ican pick myself up out of the
(12:39):
dirt and, like dust myself off.
It's like I did.
I may have failed, but alsofound a way.
It's super cliche, but I alsofound a way not to do that.
Right, like, have your ownafter-action review your own
like lessons learned and keep amental note of like don't do
that anymore.
Right, right, but if youhaven't made progress to try and
fix your situation and allyours, like oh is me Right, and
(13:01):
like, or your problems reallyaren't problems, it's like we
all go through that.
It's not a problem.
That's called life.
Right, you know it's like I haveno sympathy for you.
Kim (13:09):
Yeah, like cuz you can find people you can confide in to
talk to, and if you can't, thenyou should.
But like if you have somethingThat's way more than just the
average every day.
What a normal person averageshow is going through, then yes,
you, it's okay, like, guess, goto therapy, find the help you
need.
If you're reading all the booksand it's not helping or you're
trying to seek out things, it'snot working, like, reach out to
(13:30):
somebody at least, versusconstantly throwing a pity party
for yourself and saying thewhole, like you said, the woe
was me, you know boo-hoo story,but yeah, yeah, dr Pepper, not
beer.
But I'll never forget the daythat I actually went with you to
your therapist because, oh,yeah.
You went through a couple youknow, at first and you were very
(13:51):
like this is stupid, but I haveto go do this.
And then you finally foundsomeone who actually, like
literally took the words.
I'll never forget.
Like you said, he literallytook the words right out of your
mouth.
You are used to do Formstructure.
This is it, this is your job,this is what you need to do.
You do it, you get it done.
You're there's a form, there'sa way of time of this and that,
(14:11):
and then you get into thecivilian role where it's not me,
not my problem, not my job, idon't care.
And you're like what, like they?
just there's no action.
Maverick (14:21):
And so that I just walked around like my first year
getting out of the military wasvery hard transition for me.
Yeah to the civilian workforcewhere, like people, just didn't
give a shit about anything.
Kim (14:32):
Yeah.
Maverick (14:33):
And like I walked around for a year just ready to
punch holes in people.
Kim (14:37):
Yeah, I remember that you were and I was always trying to
like support you whatever youwanted to do to find that, and
Then you kind of would run intopeople who were veterans but
they were already kind of likeassimilated.
A similar yeah, like I wasn'tsaying like succumbing, is that
the right word?
Maverick (14:51):
Yeah, it's a little bit to the civilian.
Kim (14:53):
So there was all that bullshit Acclimated there you go
, whatever.
So when you finally found thatthere, like I remember you came,
you're like I finally foundsomeone and you actually had
asked me to go with you becauseyou found found someone that
really kind of understood Whatyou were going through and so
That was kind of cool.
He was a cool guy.
Maverick (15:13):
Yeah, I like him.
Kim (15:15):
But I mean, yeah, it is hard, it is very hard to find a
therapist, but I don't ever wantanyone to feel like, even as a
man or woman or whoever, thatYou can't find someone to talk
to or reach out to anyone, afriend or whatever it like.
I mean, i've done it plenty oftimes.
We're all sit there andsometimes you just get the last
thing you want is to be in Yourown head so far deep that you
(15:36):
feel you have can't get out.
Yeah, you can't get out of itand sometimes, like You know,
you feel like it doesn't matterwhether you feel like you're
going crazy because I've donethat, like I feel like I'm going
crazy Or something's wrong withme, and I know there's nothing
wrong with me, but my mind isconstantly going non-stop.
Maverick (15:52):
Yeah, there was a.
What was it?
It was a good year and a halfperiod.
You you legitimately thoughtsomething was wrong with you,
like how many times that we goto the doctor and how many tests
, like you literally had everytest known to man.
Kim (16:07):
I think I haven't had as a full body in MRI, but yes, yes,
you've had x-rays and MRIs.
I had a CT scan same thing.
Maverick (16:16):
No, it's not and head scans and all the.
Kim (16:18):
MRIs are not the same as CT .
Maverick (16:20):
You've had multiple panels of blood work done.
Like every time, the doctor islike there's nothing wrong with
you.
Kim (16:28):
No, the only thing they found was that I do have an
allergen like, like in theatmosphere, which I've always
known because I was allergiesand acid reflux.
Yes, i have the GERD, so sothere's that.
And I now have a new thingmigraines, which is, which is a
whole adjustment.
Like I thought I knew whatmigraines were like.
I did not.
I had headaches, like Everyonehas headaches, the headache, oh,
(16:51):
my headache.
I have a splitting headache,whatever.
And I always thought, like whenpeople said, like migraines, it
kind of would be like asplitting headache.
Well, i Don't know this whole.
I was telling you last night,during, like my mental breakdown
, like I don't know if it's likethe over 30s or whatever it is,
of your body changing andhaving that first actual
(17:13):
migraine where I, i, i never Ireally thought like I was
constantly taking ibuprofen allthe time, like I thought
something was wrong, like I, myhead was pounding 24-7.
I was nauseous, like I was dizzy, my vertigo was off, went to
the doctor.
They're like you, probably, yousounds like you have migraines,
like I couldn't move, like thelight, everything.
(17:33):
And then I also noticed likeThe older you get, the more your
mother nature decides to Turnon you, and, hormone wise, like
I feel like my hormones now arejust completely out of act
during that time of the month.
It's, it's insane, but in here,like, yes, i did.
I did go through a time where Ithought and Sometimes like I
(17:54):
thought, everything in the worldwas wrong with me.
I ended up having an endoscopydone, found out everything
inside of me was normal.
First time I'd ever been putunder in my life was Traumatized
by anesthesia.
Yes, cuz you can die.
You can die from it.
The doctor's like it's gonna beokay.
Just think of a nice relaxingbeach.
And I was like I do like thebeach.
He was playing hip-hop in thebackground.
(18:16):
I woke up, told the nurse Ithought he was cute, didn't even
really know what he looked like.
But he let me sleep for anextra 15 minutes I guess, until
I finally woke up.
But I'd never been under in mylife before.
Maverick (18:28):
Great, now I gotta kill a nurse.
Kim (18:30):
No, he was older, he wasn't even that cute when actually he
came back to us if I was.
okay, so but I.
Mean but no like.
And that's when I found out Ihad the allergen and I do notice
when I don't take my allergymedicine and Other than that and
my life.
Maverick (18:44):
My allergies kick my, i guess.
Kim (18:46):
I guess, like I just I mean , i've never had issues like
besides the seasonal allergieslike I grew up in Texas my whole
life and then My mom and I weretalking one day, when I was a
kid, i did live in New Hampshirefor a year and I got very sick,
like I guess my body Didn'tacclimate well to the atmosphere
and I got asthma.
I had an asthma attack when Iwas nine and was hospitalized
(19:07):
for a week and that's where Igot my fear of the butter.
I called the butterfly needle,where they can take your blood,
the little winged needle.
Maverick (19:14):
Okay.
Kim (19:15):
Like that bitch, she stuck it in my hand and she was
wiggling it around.
I was.
I'm traumatized by that thing,but it was cool because back
then, like when they had to getbreathing treatments They
probably still do for kids, butthey had like all the like
dinosaur masks and stuff, so yougot to wear like different.
But yeah, i was hospitalized sobut other than that, like I
never experienced anything likethat.
So when I moved up here toMaryland, like I Was, like I
(19:41):
can't like feel like I couldn'tbreathe a lot, like something
was always wrong, like it just.
And I noticed when I don't take, you know, my Allergy medicine,
i definitely noticed thedifference.
And now I know that there ismigraine medicine That is
different from ibuprofen andthat definitely helps when you
have migraines, not when youhave headaches.
If you just have a headacheit's not really gonna help you.
(20:02):
But Anyhow, like I mean, i'veThought about is somebody here?
Maverick (20:08):
like west is here Oh okay, that's scary.
Kim (20:11):
It's like I hear someone in the house, so anyhow.
But I mean I've thought aboutpossibly Maybe getting back on
something, but I've noticed thatit's only during my cycle that
I really kind of get out.
I mean I think I've been doingbetter.
I mean As you sit there insilence.
Maverick (20:30):
I mean asking you well , the, the, this, like our
recent, like our recent weeks,is not a good judge, because I
was TDI for three weeks I don't,and you always kind of fall
apart when I go to do I.
Kim (20:44):
I do good when you're gone for a week, but I like don't get
so like the first week in aweek or two weeks.
I was fine the last week, whichalso I just started my period.
So I've we've noticed that theweek before my period starts is
kind of when shit hits the fan.
Maverick (21:00):
You from home.
Shit still hits the fan.
Kim (21:02):
Yeah, i totally had a meltdown last night.
Threw up trip was great, butwas it great?
Maverick (21:07):
bro, we were sitting on the couch and you just like
burst into sobs.
Kim (21:14):
But that's not the point We have.
Maverick (21:15):
And, like I, couldn't help but laugh, and not because
I thought it was funny, i know,i know, just because like I'm
looking at the whole gravity ofthe situation, right, and like I
even told you it's like this isnot funny.
But like the funny part to mewas like we're just sitting
there and you just like burstinto sobs And I'm just like,
because I don't like it, it'lljust happen.
Kim (21:36):
I don't like when I don't feel good and when I'm out of
control of my body.
Like I don't like that feelingIf I don't feel like I'm in
control or something's wrong.
Because the moment I feelsomething's wrong, my mind
instantly gets triggered back tosevere anxiety attacks or
things from the past.
I'm like I don't want to feellike I'm going backwards And
it's like I told you last night,like I don't want you to ever
(21:57):
think that I'm going backwards.
So that's why.
But yeah, we have establishedthat when you're gone for a long
period of time, tty it's notalways worked out, especially
like the last week was reallykind of rough for me.
But I sat there and I thoughtlike how the hell did I do it
for two years?
(22:19):
And then I look back and Ithink why also, kind of like
drink a lot, like not going tolie, like I pretty much drink
like every day, versus now, likewe don't drink.
We drink on the weekends and Imight have a drink here or there
during the week, like a Y clawhere, a Y claw there, but like
we don't drink during the week.
Like I used to, i used to drink.
(22:40):
I'd get home, do?
Maverick (22:41):
you use to drink a bottle of wine a night.
Kim (22:44):
Yes, i used to drink a bottle of wine at night, like I
would drink because I wouldalways buy a box of wine because
it was cheaper, so I reallydidn't count.
I would pour glass, like to mea glass of wine is a nice full
glass of wine.
Well, that's like two glasses,which is technically four
glasses of wine, because you'reonly having two glasses and the
bottle is gone, and I would havelike four of those at night,
(23:06):
like until I fell asleep.
And I remember one time I got ahair at my ass a few months
back No, this was last year Ihad stopped drinking wine, like
I'll have wine here and they'relike don't get me wrong, i still
love my wine on occasion, but Idon't drink it like I used to.
And I remember one time I itwas on whatever a weekend, and I
was like man, wine sounds sogood.
And so we got a bottle of wineand I thought, I could crush my
(23:29):
bottle of wine Like no big dealon my part.
I remember the next day I wasmiserable and.
I remember telling you I don'tknow how I used to do it, and
you looked at me and you gothink about it.
Babe, you used to do this everyday And I'm like I don't know,
no wonder.
Maverick (23:46):
You also used to be miserable every day.
Kim (23:49):
I was.
Maverick (23:49):
I'm not that miserable anymore That miserable, anymore
I don't like to think.
Kim (23:54):
I don't like to think.
I'm doing better.
Maverick (23:56):
No, I would agree.
You've come a long way.
Kim (23:59):
It was a really hard time for me and I think you know
we've grown a lot.
Our communication is a lotbetter than what it used to be,
like we talk about everythingand I'm very happy with our
relationship.
And I'm going to cry becauseI'm an emotional mystery, not a
good time to talk aboutsomething.
Oh, thanks, when you're on aperiod, i mean, it's full for a
(24:26):
pit yesterday, so I am full ofemotions all the way, like I'm
very, very a needy woman rightnow, but anywho.
So I just think.
I think mental awareness isjust kind of circling back.
It's just you should be aware onall friends, both men and women
(24:46):
not just women, but men need itjust as much too.
They need to know that theyhave someone to talk to And I
like that we are people.
I like to think that ourfriends trust and come to us,
that they can tell us anythingAnd like, even like our
girlfriends, your guy friend,like whatever that, even when it
comes to something that asclose as you and I are, like you
can have a conversation withsomeone and they can trust that
(25:07):
you're not going to come andblab it to me.
Just like my girlfriends cantrust me or like a friend of
ours.
That is like, or vice versa islike.
Maverick (25:14):
I have people that talk to you that you're the same
and guy friends, that same forme.
Well, i think it's becausepeople realize we understand
like we have been through a lottogether And we also.
We aren't necessarily the I sawthis in a quote.
We aren't necessarily thepeople that have people.
We are the people that otherpeople have.
Kim (25:36):
Yeah.
Maverick (25:37):
Right, like we don't really have people, but we are
the, we are the people, otherpeople have, i have some people.
Right, But like.
Kim (25:44):
I got some blonde hoes.
Maverick (25:46):
If our friends wanted to talk to us as a couple, then
they would talk to us as acouple, absolutely.
So, like some of the things, ifyour girlfriends wanted to talk
to you, it's like, oh, you'retalking with us.
Like, oh, we were just talkingabout.
Like, they want to talk to meabout some stuff.
I was like, cool, yeah, likethat's not my place to.
Kim (26:02):
To like to know everything, same thing with you.
Like, you'll tell me, like, oh,nothing to worry about.
I'm like, okay, what if you, ifyou felt the need to tell me,
you would tell me.
Maverick (26:08):
Our friends realize that we have that separation
because there's not everythingthat everybody needs to know,
right.
Kim (26:14):
Right And like and we're not perfect by any means, and I
think that's what our friendsthat do confide in us, like,
have come to realize, and theones that have been there from
the beginning or even knew likethat would never think anything
like, oh, you guys have gone,like, yeah, you have no idea,
like what we've been through,but we have grown so much.
And that's what makes us who weare And our love has just.
(26:36):
You know.
You know we're not perfect,we've gone through some stuff,
but I think what we are So,going back to like your emotions
, you know what I wish.
Maverick (26:45):
Like was a possibility .
Kim (26:47):
What.
Maverick (26:48):
Is to trade lenses for a day.
Kim (26:50):
See, i think that.
But then I feel like if I sawyou I would be way more
traumatized and wish I wouldhave never.
Just seen that.
I want to rewind like, not likelike black mirror type shit.
Maverick (27:02):
Not like our past traumas, like not past traumas
and shit we've had to deal withlike not our internal demons?
Kim (27:08):
right, okay, yes.
Maverick (27:11):
But like I wish we could trade mindsets for a day.
Kim (27:13):
Okay.
Maverick (27:14):
I could see the world through your mindset.
Like you're you.
You want to see the good inpeople and you want to believe
that everything is positive andlike see the world how you see
it and like process informationas you process it and have the
emotions that you have.
But I would also want you toexperience the way I see the
world and like why I processinformation, the way I process
(27:37):
Now, is that is that from pasttraumas and past things we've
done and things we've witnessed?
Absolutely I wouldn't wish thepain like the mental, the mental
pain, the physical pain and theanguish that I had to go
through to become the man I amtoday.
I don't want you to ever haveto experience that which is I
(27:59):
see the way I see it.
I see the world the way I seeit because I want to shelter you
from ever having to see thatright, so like I will take that
full on, so you don't have tosee it.
Kim (28:09):
Yeah, and I do that too with people Like I know mine.
I'm not trying to compare likeobviously, like you've
experienced things that I'venever, I hope to never
experience in my life, you know,or things or something like
that, And I know there arethings that I've gone through
that you've never you know hadto deal with And I don't want
yeah And I don't.
I would never wish what I'veever gone through on anyone and
like I always.
(28:29):
You know if anyone has evercome to me about like anxiety or
things like like I I'm of call,like call me a bitch and I
don't care, or harsh, but I amvery strict.
I hate like.
I'm very thankful that anxietyis talked about today, but it
drives me insane how leisurelyit's used It.
(28:50):
It pisses me off because everytime I turn I have anxiety.
I have anxiety.
There's a difference betweenbeing anxious and full on having
anxiety and having anxietyattacks and full on fight or
flight moments.
You think the world is endingAnd like I can't stand people
who are just like I'm anxious.
I have anxiety because they'restressed about something versus
(29:15):
out of nowhere.
You're having a perfectly goodday And next thing you know the
world, the sky is falling.
You don't know what the hell iswrong with it.
You're out of control of yourbody.
You think you're dying.
You can't, you know.
It's because the societalstandard is weak And I'm and I'm
very mean about that And I trynot to be because I'm very
understanding, but I just when Ijust see the like I'm not
(29:35):
saying that I know what everyonegoes through, but I just, the
way is just, everyone is like Ihave anxiety, i have anxiety And
I'm like do you, or are youjust anxious about something and
you just need to kind ofbreathe it through, talk it out?
versus like really, like I meanI've gone to the hospital
thinking I'm fucking dying.
Like I've gone to the hospitalthinking like the world is
(29:56):
ending.
I don't know what's wrong withme.
I'm crazy.
They're going to put me on thefifth floor, ninth floor,
whatever.
Maverick (30:01):
Give you one of those self-hugging jackets.
Kim (30:03):
Yeah, put me in the white powdered powdered powdered White
powdered room.
Catted room Okay.
Maverick (30:07):
Don't even want to thank you.
Kim (30:09):
But versus when I go there, like the first time I ever got
out of it in a hospital, like Iremember pleading to the nurse
telling her I wasn't crazy, likeI swear I'm not crazy, and she
told me she's like you're not,you're having an anxiety attack,
but you need to give me consentto give you this medicine,
otherwise it's not.
And then like to calm you downAnd she's like you're not crazy.
(30:29):
But that's when I came to kindof realize You's crazy.
No, no.
Anxiety versus like and it wasscary, it is scary.
So when I do get a hint ofanxiousness, like, i do worry.
It is a trigger for me And I dotry to work through that Like,
and especially when I had anight terrors too, it just is a
(30:52):
whole nother issue on its own, ijust think.
Maverick (30:53):
I think people are using anxiety anymore who don't
understand it as a crutch,because Agree yes.
The social standard has.
we are a society of weakstandards, like, for example,
it's 2023.
Think of the caliber of man andwoman that were walking the
streets in 1923.
Right, like every man knew howto build a log cabin.
(31:16):
Like every man knew how to plowa field.
Kim (31:19):
Not every man knows how to even remotely change a tire
right now.
Maverick (31:22):
Right, like a woman knew how to be a homemaker.
A woman knew how to be ahomesteader.
A woman knew how to make afamily survive should her man
dive like dysentery or typhoidfever.
Right, and yeah, the flu, thepolio.
Like we had men we just foughtthe First World War.
(31:44):
Like storming beaches and womenworking in factories making
bullets.
And now they got to put.
Like carve manuals used to tellyou how to adjust the valve
latch and you're the valve lashin your engine.
Now it tells you don't drinkthe contents of the battery.
Like it's.
(32:04):
Because I've said this beforeon this podcast hard men create
good times.
Good times create weak men.
Weak men create hard times.
We are in the transition ofweak men create hard times well,
that's like have you seen that?
Kim (32:18):
it's an old meme where it's a good time to get a good life
style changes in the line isempty.
And then the simple problem ofI have this, this and this.
Let me just get a pill and myall my problems will be solved
and everyone would just have theeasy fix of take this
supplement versus.
I may not need this pill.
(32:39):
If I just do some lifestylechanges, that will help and then
I'll know if I really needsomething, like I don't mean I
have nothing, because I meanI've been on medication or
whatever, but I.
There's nothing wrong withtaking medicine, but like what
are you doing in your lifestyle?
that is causing this are youactually doing something to help
?
Maverick (32:57):
it's like saying like oh, i'm fat, so I need to get
liposuction yeah, or I need tobe on?
what is it like them?
or no?
no, what is?
is that what?
it is the weight loss thing fordiabetes but let me like.
My example is like I'm fat, soI need to get liposuction.
I won't be fat anymore.
Well, you eat three dominoes,pizzas and a 12 pack of Dr
Pepper every day yeah, right, somaybe try a salad maybe try not
(33:19):
eating three pizzas and a caseof Dr Pepper every day and see
if you're not fat anymore right,yeah, exactly, yeah, true, or
yeah, or maybe everybody wantsinstant gratification, instant
fixes.
Nobody's really to work for itexactly like oh, i won't say
nobody, i'll say the majority ofthe American populace right.
Kim (33:37):
Yeah, it's like the same thing, like everybody is hiring,
but then everyone says nobody'shiring, it's just no, you just
don't want you don't want towork you don't want to work or
you don't want to work there,you don't.
You don't have to work thereforever, but at least it's
something for the time being,versus sitting on your ass and
complaining about it.
Like if I lost my job tomorrowI wouldn't sit here, i pissed,
(33:59):
but like I wouldn't sit here andjust rely on you.
I would be out looking forsomething.
Or you know what.
If I got to go work down at thegrocery store for the time
being, until something elsecomes along in my career path,
then so be it.
But at least I'm contributingto society today, is that right?
Maverick (34:17):
yes, okay, go work for Vincent Castle Bay sure he said
oh hi, i mean heartbeat.
Kim (34:24):
That is something to I also kind of want to just address
real quick with mental health aswell.
You know, a lot of us, theworld we kind of live in,
everyone wants to be a home body, but sometimes you need to go
out and especially if you're ina relationship, you get so
caught up in so many things andsometimes you just need a day
(34:45):
out doing something.
It doesn't have to be anythingextravagant, it can just be
going in window shoppingsomewhere, but like taking that
time and actually Saturday yeah,like sat and that's like
Saturday.
You know, we just went to go.
You had to go pick up your guns, for plan was okay, we'll go
pick up the gun and then we'lljust go.
You know, come back home, hangout, you know, enjoy the day
(35:06):
outside.
It was a really beautiful day.
We'll take the bike, it'll be anice ride.
And I was thinking, you know,something we've always enjoyed
is going to Pip's Dock Streetdown in Annapolis, which you
should go if you've never beento Pip's.
Dock Street dogs most the besthot dogs.
Like I don't need hot dogs butthey like I'm like, i'm down for
some pips and so you don'tdemolish Pip's hot dogs so I
thought like okay, you've beengone for three weeks, like this
(35:28):
would be.
I wonder if you, if you, wouldbe down.
I was like no, he just got home.
I think the last thing he wantsto go do is go down to
Annapolis on a Saturday.
So I didn't say anything but Ilike had this whole conversation
play out in my head as you werecooking breakfast as I was
cooking breakfast.
So then we went to go.
We were on our way to get thegun and then you said, hey, you
(35:48):
want to go to Pip's and get somefood later.
And I was like, oh my god, yes,you like spoke to my heart, it
just a further moment thing.
So we said, okay, we'll go getthe gun, we'll, you know, come
back home we'll hop on the bikeand we'll go downtown.
And then what was supposed tojust be a we were sitting at
Pip's.
Go grab lunch like so you wantto go to Castle Bay and have a
(36:10):
beer, and they were like okay,so we went to Castle Bay and had
a beer.
That turned into more drinks,and to a really great time so
well I reached out to.
Maverick (36:19):
We were.
We were sitting there having abeer and it was kind of dead and
I've been real good friendswith the with the owner, since I
went to school here, and Iasked the new girl behind the
bar if he was here.
She's like I'll know who'll bein later for the, the band
that's coming in.
So we were looking, we werelooking around for speak easy
(36:43):
like speak easy esque typeplaces and I really like that
parlay room.
It wasn't really a speak easybut no but they were good they
were good, i liked.
Kim (36:51):
I liked their, i like their old fashioned, it was good yeah
, they're in the char koocheeboard was good yeah, we never
did try that, harold Blacksplace no, we ended up going back
to.
Maverick (37:03):
Castle Bay because our friend, our, friend was working
.
Kim (37:05):
Yeah, and Vince ended up being there.
Maverick (37:08):
Yeah and Vince had a really good conversation.
Always have a good conversationwith him.
Why?
Kim (37:11):
don't see him that often and he's got, he's from Ireland
just has the accent and justsuch a sweetheart so the band
was really good.
Maverick (37:20):
Drunken scholars yes, they were so they were Irish
Irish folk band and they werereally good they were really
good.
Kim (37:27):
It was a.
Maverick (37:28):
We had a really really good time saying whiskey in a
jar and rambling bog and yeah awhole mess of a good time so
definitely felt it the next daythen went and sang a little
karaoke little sang, a littlekaraoke at our little hole in
the wall bar.
Kim (37:44):
We had been doing a while that we like to go to appear
sometimes, but sometimes justlike things like, like spur the
moment, things like we were, wethought we were going to.
Maverick (37:53):
Just we did not plan on making an evening of it.
No, we're just gonna get hotdogs to go home yeah and so.
Kim (37:58):
But it ended up being a really good time and like those
things for us, like we're reallywell and you know, just
sometimes just kind of spur themoment things going on and doing
something, even if it is justto.
I mean, we've had it where, hey, let's go to Best Buy or let's
go to one day we were driving,we're like, let's go to medieval
times that was such a good timebut sometimes like and you
(38:19):
don't like.
Yes, those things cost money,but sometimes it doesn't even
have to be that.
It can be a simple like if youhave a hiking place next to you,
some something that's free, youknow, just to get out, enjoy
the weather sometimes, take adrive, just listen to music.
Take a drive and listen tomusic, you know.
Or go for a walk or something,just I don't know.
Mental health is very, veryimportant and I am a huge
(38:45):
supporter of it, like of gettingwhatever help you need in any
way.
Maverick (38:49):
That is like don't ever I don't ever want anyone
ever feel today if everyone,anyone ever come in like I'm
seeking help for my mentalhealth.
I'm not going to judge them no,but then when I get home, i'm
going to reflect on what type ofmental health you need.
You think you have, and then Imight secretly judge you.
In my mind it's like you.
You don't really need help, youjust need to grow up.
Kim (39:08):
I want everyone like our.
My door is always open, likeI've always said, like I'm
always willing to talk to anyone.
We've always been that way.
Whatever our friends need, nomatter how big or small,
meticulous, meticulous, whatever, no matter how meticulous it is
.
Sometimes I know on thispodcast I'm sure I've probably
(39:30):
made myself sound stupid,sputtering out random words, but
you mentioned it, so I'm goingto talk about it so oh got a new
toy got a little time we gotplenty of time right, we're at
40 minutesnow, we got plenty of time so I
think this records up to 60.
So, yeah, wonderful yeah.
Maverick (39:52):
So, as most of you know, i am an fn fanboy, fn
America.
So I just got the newestrelease from fn, the fn 545.
It is their I crew fired pistolbuilt on the 509 frame and 45
ACP, 18 plus one capacity.
(40:12):
Except I got cooked by thecommunist state of Maryland
stuck with 10 round mags, soI'll have to go find some
elsewhere outside of thiswonderful state.
Overall first impressions, iabsolutely am in love with this
firearm.
It's going to be my new carryfirearm because it is small
enough that I can.
I can carry it comfortably andconceal it well.
(40:33):
I have topped it with anotherhollow son optic, the hs 507 CX,
to absolutely love this optic.
I've got one on my fnx.
The only complaint I have aboutthis particular firearm is the
trigger in this one.
It's a little squishy at firstwith the new built in trigger
safety and the wall is a littlesquishy.
(40:55):
But from the reviews that I'veread online, like Hickok 45 did
one of these as well.
With a couple hundred roundsthat loosens up.
So it'll it'll even itself outand it's only a matter of time
before they come out withaftermarket triggers and
everything form.
But I absolutely love this.
It fits the hand better thanthe FNX does because it's the
(41:16):
grip textures a little moreaggressive and it's not as wide.
It's still a double stack.
But the way they built it onthe 509 platform I'm super happy
with it.
I haven't shot this onesuppressed yet so I'll have to
look into it.
Of course, holster options andeverything are limited right now
just because it released lastmonth and like they're not
(41:37):
making the field dark earthmagazines for it.
So like I have field dark earthgun but black magazines, so
that like the aesthetics alittle off.
But because my flashlight Iordered a goon beam, by the way.
Well, it's because every big.
Well, because the opticwhatever lasers on handguns are
stupid the optic itself is theblack version and then my
(42:01):
flashlight will be black.
So it'll be like field darkearth and black two-tone or
field dark earth accompaniedwith black accoutrements.
So overall impressions, i'mreally happy with the firearm.
I haven't shot it incompetition yet but I'll
probably will hear soon just tosee how it does, how it performs
in comparison to my FNX.
So if you've been looking for anew modern 45, highly recommend
(42:23):
the FN 545.
Kim (42:24):
Tactical love it he loves it all, not, no, i guess,
anything else you'd like to addto today?
Maverick (42:34):
you've been talking about.
You've been looking at thislike submarine with five people
missing yeah, the Titanic.
Kim (42:40):
I wonder if I heard that someone before got stuck
underneath and like talked abouthow they got, were able to get
out, but they, like I don't know, they that you know, it's
$250,000 per seat to go down andthere's five people on board.
Yeah, well, the billionaire isthe guy well, i think it's
stupid.
(43:01):
Well, there I, i pray and hopethat they are found safely as do
I but I, from what I understandit, the oxygen is only 40 hours
of oxygen left.
Well, that was four hours agothat was, i think if they had,
like what?
enough oxygen for like 90something hours, and that's
already surpassed.
No, are you sure?
Maverick (43:22):
they briefed earlier this afternoon.
They had 40 hours of oxygenleft, but well one.
They fucked up and they calledthe Coast Guard first.
The Coast Guard has no theycan't go down the Coast Guard
has no ASW capability, right, sothey should have called the
fucking Navy.
Well, did they call the Navy?
well, they said more.
More search and rescueplatforms are in route maybe who
(43:46):
do you think they called?
Kim (43:48):
we have planes designed to hunt submarines, so well, i mean
if they're stuck in a roomsomewhere or under they're not
in the Titanic that's what theywere saying they go down to see
the Titanic no, but I thought,well, yeah, but I thought that
they got there and it got lostsomewhere, like if they might be
(44:08):
stuck underneath it orsomething.
If they're exploring, they arelike they're explaining they
might be stuck somewhere couldbe, who knows?
Maverick (44:14):
I?
Kim (44:14):
mean, but what do you think could?
Maverick (44:17):
have happened the.
Russians possibly I think theRussians got them you think so
yeah yeah, i don't know.
I I hope and pray for the safereturn of all of those on board.
Kim (44:36):
Well, that's a horrible way to go, because you think about
it like a fixation they passaway they'll go to sleep first
yeah, but like you can't
Maverick (44:45):
breathe, yeah, but you'll just like the ox.
The way your body works is likeas your oxygen slowly goes down
, you just go to sleep and don'twake up.
It's like you're not gonna know.
You're just gonna go to sleepand die.
But the thing that the thingwas crazy to me is they paid
$250,000 and I watched thewalkthrough of this submarine.
It's literally controlled witha video game controller and
(45:07):
there's a curtain.
Like if you have to go to thebathroom, there's a curtain,
they just turn the music up.
So you pay $250,000 to shit ina bucket.
Kim (45:14):
I'm gonna find treasure like I don't care to well, the
heart of the oceans down there.
Maverick (45:23):
I watched Rose throw it and I guarantee you jack's
down there somewhere cuz thatselfish bitch.
There was room for two peoplein that door there was
definitely room for two peopleon that I've seen the breakdown
did you see that?
Kim (45:33):
he tried to talk about how there wasn't room for a tune?
like no, everyone they're like.
There's studies?
like no, we just know thatthat's how he wanted the movie
to be she was a selfish whore.
Well, never, anyhow is what itis.
She lived life, poor Jack,poorly.
Narnia's been 84 years.
Maverick (45:56):
Yeah, well anyway all right.
Kim (45:58):
Well, for all those of you out there, it is meant mental
health awareness month, so,please, and pride month and
pride month.
So but grab your loved one,tell him you love them, cuz you
never know what tomorrow canbring.
And I think that's all I got toadd.
(46:19):
Thank you for I got.
I got a closing comment.
Maverick (46:23):
And the guys at bang steel like this okay, well, i
hope they listen all gun law isunconstitutional and isn't
infringement of my secondamendment.
Right, okay, because the factthat I can't go on Amazon and
buy an M67 fragmentation grenadeis all the proof that I need
(46:44):
now.
I really hope to see those guyssoon.
I'm gonna schedule some classtime to go down there and see
him.
Kim (46:49):
Let the six five stretch its legs, but anyway, enough of
that we're glad that you guyshave stuck with us and we hope
you continue to.
We're gonna continue to try todo better and post weekly we
upgraded equipment so we did.
We're slowly upgrading to moreequipment to do better.
So, as always, you can followus on Instagram at messy butts
(47:12):
and shotguns.
You can also follow us both ontiktok, so thank.
My handle is at Kim possible1473 and I think yours is they
Maverick no, it's just Maverickunderscore 915 they call me
Maverick is my Instagram anyway,you can find all of our stuff
through our Instagram page and,as always, we'd love to hear
(47:34):
from you your comments.
Let us know how the soundquality changed yeah, because I
upgraded equipment and it betterwork.
No, so you.
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