Abusive Relationships, Failed Criminals, and The Truth About Lexington BBQ | MADHD EP43 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Bear nimble bow down Mike and Dylan hate drama.
But the Bow Wow. Welcome back to another episode
of Mike and Dylan Hate Hate drama where, I don't know, we
just talk about what's going on in the world, life, give some
advice. We got some submissions.
We. Have we have two pieces of
advice? 333 unless you're only going to

(00:20):
read two of them, But yeah, three of them.
We got 3 sitting here. And you worded it to me.
It was 2. Said a few.
You know what, Dylan is startingto get his own Cult of Dylan
members, so eventually this is going to lead to the civil War
of Mike and Dylan. Yeah, Mike's not too happy about
it. He's trying to figure out how to
delete just single members out of the the following so.

(00:43):
It's it's particularly on the YouTube.
People are starting to say Team Dylan.
I don't know where the name from.
Yeah, I don't know when they started that, but.
I think it's because we were talking about Twilight and so,
you know, there's always the Edward Jacob thing.
And so, so I guess that probablyspurred a little.
You know, when girls would talk about like boy bands and stuff

(01:06):
like that, I have really just been deep into like, you know,
forums and stuff and I just get on a subject and I can't like
not look at it like a. We had a have a place in
Lexington that you would think, I'm not going to mention the
name of it. I'm not going to, you know,
Yeah, because I don't know, I'm not work there.
So I don't know how bad it is, but I looked at one post about

(01:27):
how bad it was to work at this place.
And then like as I kept like looking at different people
saying stuff about it, I kept looking it up and it was just
like so much bad stuff. And I was like, that just seems
like the most magical place on earth to work like.
We should just get you all suited up and hidden cameras and
just. Like Undercover Boss?

(01:47):
Yeah. Make you go ahead and go on in
there and work. We can make the Google Glasses
like some work glasses. Yeah.
I wish we were like, technologically savvy.
And and had money, right? Have you ever seen like all
Mythbusters when they were like,we'll just, we'll just build a
robot for that. And I was just like, OK, I'll
just build the robot. I'm watching like Alaskan wild
guys. And they're just like, yeah,
we're gonna today. We're we're, we want to fish,

(02:09):
but we need to, we need a boat. So they just like build a boat
and they're like, we're gonna put this motor together.
And I'm just like what the fuck are y'all engineers out there?
Well like I mean most country boys back in the day knew how to
put right bro take motors apart right next.
Shit, but if any if shit hit thefan, that's the first person you
want to find is a redneck. See I fucked up real bad.
I took small engine like repair in high school, but I teamed up

(02:34):
with somebody that literally knew how to do it because like
he been working on the go karts and like taking motors off of
lawn mowers and making go karts out of them and doing all this
stuff. And I was like, ah, this is the
way to do it 'cause then like heknows what he's doing.
I didn't learn a fucking thing. Like not a not a single thing
like like I mean, I know how like.
He's just doing it while you sitthere and just.
Not I know like fuel and spark and like basically that's where

(02:58):
it kind of like shuts down for me.
Is like OK, is it getting fuel? Yes, OK.
Is the spark working? OK, then there should be
combustion and we should have a fucking engine off to run in and
like, but yeah, he, I mean, he could like hone out the block
and like get all the rings and I'm just like, how do you know
how to do this? Oh, A, A, you paid attention in
class and then B, you already knew how to do it.

(03:19):
But yeah, but I mean, that was also my like Stoner phase.
So I was just like, yeah, man, that's cool.
I bet that guy probably does something like counting now.
I don't. I like, I mean, I could look to
see what he's doing. I I think he works in like
factory or something like that. Really.
And he knows all that about likeengines and stuff like that.
Yeah, I mean, there's up, up where I grew up.

(03:40):
Like everybody was like a country kid.
Like there weren't city kids so.So an idea for like a cheesy
movie I had is where we live, Lexington, NC.
You know they like to claim thatthey are the BBQ capital of the
world, which was a preposterous claim.
Preposterous. Well, why would you even?

(04:01):
Want to like, that's like that'slike, you know, a backyard
wrestler like trying to say thatthey could take on, you know,
Manny Pacquiao or something likethat.
Like it's just not you're like, at least stay in like somewhat
your own league. Like be like, yeah, of all the
other backyard wrestlers, I'm the best.
But like to to be like, do you? Think Manny Pacquiao was a
wrestler? No, but that's what I'm saying

(04:22):
is like going to like a a legitimately trained boxer like
you're you're you're a backyard wrestler, like the guy that
jumps on like fucking microwave.Did you know that actually
happened though? So CM Punk from the WWE, it was
about five years ago, maybe morenow, but he signed with the UFC,

(04:43):
had never fought in his life because, you know, Brock Lesnar
did it and Brock Lesnar won the heavyweight championship.
Wasn't he a football player before Brock Lesnar?
No, he was so. Who was the football player?
Brock Lesnar, look, he is, He has this legal stuff about if he
was in on the Vince McMahon pooping on women's stuff.
Yeah, I'm, I'm, look, I'm not educated on what happened.

(05:06):
I'm just talking about the life of Brock Lesnar, also known as
the alpha male of our species. Dude is really just like, if I'm
just going to anger my way through it.
So he was an NCAA wrestler, really good at it.
So he gets out of that and he goes into professional
wrestling. So he's in professional
wrestling and you know, he's like a 280 LB guy that could

(05:29):
just do a front flip off the turnbuckle and shit like that.
He's a very agile guy. So he stops doing wrestling
because he doesn't like the likethe schedule and always being on
the road. So he goes and tries out for the
Minnesota Vikings. OK, that's that's.
Just does it and makes their practice squad.
So that's like a that's nothing to scoff at.

(05:51):
That's people, you know, playingfootball through high school,
college, all this experience. And he just goes and just like,
I could do it. Yeah, he almost, I don't know if
he played in a preseason game, but he he was very, very close
to making the the roster, but hemade the practice squad.
So he's just like, OK, well, I'mnot going to do that if I'm not
going to be playing games. So then he goes into mixed
martial arts and from there endsup winning the.

(06:15):
But which if Brock grew up like striking and getting punched in
the face and stuff like that, he'd have been like, we would
talk about him as like this really decorated.
What the fuck you going to do against that guy?
So then CM Punk, you know, he goes to the UFC and nobody can
really be like, well, he's a like AWD.
It's not going to work. He's training with Dwayne

(06:36):
Ludwig, which is like one of thebest striking coaches for mixed
martial arts and gets dog walkedhis first fight.
He fights his kid Mickey Gall, and just he dog walks him.
We see, you see real quick, CM Punk doesn't know anything about
the ground game. And just I think it, I think it
ended in the first round. So everybody was like, OK, well,

(06:58):
we see that Brock Lesnar's obviously an outlier.
Well, then they were like, oh, we're not going to, we're not
going to do that again. And then like a year later, they
were like, all right, CM Punk second fight in the UFCUFC, the
pinnacle of martial arts. And just because of his, he was
just like, I could do it. And then so he goes and he

(07:20):
fights this dude Mike Jackson. And then Mike Jackson
essentially is like, you know, this is my time to shine.
And there's so many times duringthe fight where he could just
finish him and he's just toying around with CM Punk just like
playing with him. Yeah, won't that beats the shit
out of him. Many times he could just finish
the fight in the fight. Doesn't do it.
Just goofing off, a clowning around.
Got cut from the UFC from it. Yeah.

(07:42):
Oh, really? Yeah.
Dana didn't like that. And then Dana was like, you
know, he can go back to what he was doing.
He ain't never going to work here again.
And then like three years later,he's back.
He he fought in the UFC again, not seeing Punk, but Mike
Jackson see him. That was seeing Punk's last
fight. So we actually do have what
would happen if that happened. Well, that's just like I I think

(08:02):
for Lexington BBQ like they do make BBQ that's true.
Not anywhere near like the top of the game of BBQ at all like I
mean. It is a BBQ of the world like
you don't, but it's not the BBQ capital of the world.
No, and it's just like to try and claim that like you are,
you're fighting so much out of your weight class.

(08:23):
Like it's ridiculous how how high they're reaching to like
reach for that. And it's like, no, there's like
1000 other kinds of BBQ that ultimately tastes better.
Guys, I I hate to break it to you, but like I'm not saying
that I wouldn't eat a BBQ sandwich from Lexington.
It's all right, but that's all it is.
It's all right. It's not like, holy shit, I've
never tasted something this goodbefore in my life.

(08:44):
You Nobody walks away saying that, right?
Yeah. Nobody has my.
Life has been changed from this experience.
And like it's, it's good enough to be like, Oh yeah, I'll have a
BBQ sandwich, but it's not like,oh man, if I don't have another
BBQ sandwich in my life, like mylife will not be worth living
like, but like some good ribs orsome like good brisket, like,
and not all of that's made the same either.

(09:06):
Like there's some really good ones and some really shitty ones
out there, but like. Everybody's day, I think there's
some Thomas Willis and shit likethat or Archdale.
But I went to that one time and there was a guy from Oklahoma
and he was making dry rub ribs. And, you know, I had eight Lex
in a barbecue and I was poor too.
So this is back when I was poor and a teenager and had not
experienced like real good food.And I was like, you know, Lex

(09:29):
and BBQ is pretty good. I don't know who could be.
And I tried them drive up ribs you're.
Just let down. You're just like so sad.
You're like I was. Sobbed.
I was like, this is what? This is what?
This is what they get over therein Oklahoma.
Like just like this is what whatdid they told me?
My whole I like, that's the, youknow, living in the Matrix
moment. Everybody's actually like the

(09:52):
alien from what is that one movie where they take over
people's bodies and shit. I can't remember that the name
of it. See, I think that's the problem
with Lexington though, is if they were to be more inclusive
to allow like it to exist alongside other.
Inclusive. I don't want no black people in
my BBQ. Well, that has been a Lexington

(10:13):
problem, but no like I think. The let the brothers come and
get some ideas like if that's one thing though, is like you go
to all these BBQ places, Listen,it's a lot of white people.
It's all white people. It's all white people.
The guy that was BBQ. Listen, if I walk up and a
overweight black man says, oh, I'm about to lay something down,

(10:34):
at first I was like, was this like a gay thing?
Like no. And then he that's and then he
made the ribs. And so I just know now anytime
I'm somewhere, if an overweight black guy was just like, oh, you
won't try something. He's like, fuck it.
And I know it's about to be. So just like I'm not saying, you
know, let's make it all black people.
This is not like ADEI get your panties out of a bunch per you

(10:58):
know, listener. I'm not saying that, but I'm
saying if we could all come together he's.
Talking to about you, maybe the one that's upset about this he's
talking about. You because they're like
inclusive. I don't want inclusivity in my
BBQ. Well, look, I've had the white,
all white people Lexington and I've had Oklahoma BBQ from one
black guy, which I assume is theonly black guy in Oklahoma.
So and his shit was real good. So what I'm saying is maybe we

(11:22):
talk to each other and the Mexicans are like, yeah we could
get we like listen guys, y'all have y'alls own thing that's
just great. Like Mexican food is bomb but.
Imagine if you came to the Lexington BBQ Festival, which
brings a fuck ton of people in and not only could you get and
like, this was my gripe when I moved down here because I'm a

(11:42):
damn Yankee. I moved down from New York and
when you have a BBQ thing up there, they've got ribs, they've
got brisket, they've got pork, they've got chicken, they've got
like all the different kinds of things that you can make BBQ out
of. They do it and it's all
different, like restaurants and people.
And so you go around and you tryall these different things down
here. It's literally 1 fucking thing.

(12:03):
You're like, oh, do you want it coarse or do you want it
chopped, or do you want? It Oh my God, the funniest
fucking thing happened. So we're all at a BBQ place, the
BBQ place that's right down thisway from us.
OK so we have my wife's mom and she was looking at the menu and

(12:25):
she was like yes I would like the coarse BBQ.
What do you think course means? Big chunks.
I thought course meant like, youget it in real tiny pieces.
That's what she thought. I don't even know what part of
the animal this was, but they bring cubes of pork, which is a
shaped pork. That should not be it because it

(12:45):
looked horribly disgusting. It looked like it just cut the
back fat like a big ham. Yeah.
No, no, because it was pale too.So it looked like you cut the
back fat off of a white guy. Just, you know, one of them big
fat people that's like the little like it's like they had
one and they were just like cutting bits out of the stomach.
It's disgusting looking. And she's just like looking at
you guys. That looks good because she's
like too. Too polite too.

(13:06):
Polite. They'll be like, yeah, please
take this fucking gravy because they look like yeah, gravy out.
At least gravy pork chunks back bro it looks so nasty.
I was like that's what I'm eating.
Just like so. Chopped up, chopped as the
smaller one and then course is big.
But their courses are cubes almost.
That's weird though. Almost perfect cubes.

(13:28):
That's weird. That's what I was like, course.
Was like just like big chunks, but it's still like shredded
pork like ultimately. But yeah, I I wouldn't go back
there. No, they were like perfect
translucent cubes. But see, I think that's one of
the things though is like, I shouldn't have to be like with
like somebody that's like a, youknow, 50 year veteran of

(13:48):
ordering barbecue down here to get good BBQ.
It should just be like, you should just try to give us the
good stuff all the fucking time.Because for one thing, it's mid
at best. And you're like making it out to
be this big thing, like just give everybody the extra dip,
make it as good as you fucking possibly can so that, you know,
if somebody comes and tries Lexington BBQ, they're not just

(14:11):
like, yeah, that was, that was dog shit.
You know what I thought about the Mexicans?
I was like, y'all got like real good food, but when I was poor,
the Mexican on the grill and that was a grill that was one of
these big expensive barbecues I could imagine in a BBQ contest
because bro, when the guy can't remember his name to save my

(14:31):
life, I don't even think I asked.
So I think it's one of those moments where like you're around
somewhere and then you're like, it's like the third time.
So, you know, you can't really like, be like.
You feel out of place. Right, Yeah.
You can't be like, what's your name?
You just got to be like, what's up, bud?
What's up, champ? That's like everybody in my
life. Yeah, but he was like this 54

(14:51):
and he wore this, it was a blue and white button up shirt and
I've never seen him without it. And it was never like really
like tattered or dirty or anything like that.
So I assume he has multiple, buthe would he would tuck those
into some Navy green, like cargoshorts, Navy green Nate Dark.

(15:12):
It was like duty green. But you know, I'm trying to be
respectful because he was an awesome guy.
But yeah, he was. Like your your pants look like
Doo Doo I think. Him in a BBQ festival, though,
just throwing down on a singularjust grill with the fucking, the
charcoal grill and everybody else is using this gas thing.
He's like, yeah, I'm just cooking, Just cooking, bro.
His fish was fucking like at that point in my life, I was

(15:34):
like, I'm not really a big fan of fish, even though I was poor.
That sounds preposterous to say.It's food.
I mean, I'll eat it. Yeah, I have to eat it because
there's nothing else to eat. But when he made it, I was like,
why does this taste good? Why are these vegetables
delicious like meat? That's one thing, bro, Mexicans
have figured out. Like you could take someone,
they could be like, I hate vegetables.

(15:54):
And then they'll be like, yes, can I get a fajita with like
every single vegetable known to man on it?
And it was like, well, I don't know.
When they cook it, it's just like.
I don't like onions. Well, I don't like this.
Well, just just fuck me I. Don't trust anybody that says
they don't like onions or Peppers because those are just,
I try to say onions because I'llsay onions and then everyone's
like, there's no GN onion. I'd be like well.
I just put one in there. How?
About get off your high horse and understand that sometimes

(16:18):
people are stupid and they're a kid and they grow up around all
these country people say an onion.
I still say crans CRANS. That's wild.
I. Still say it That's.
Wild. Like fucking be an adult.
But you know, I can say onions because crans.
Does anybody else put AG in? Have you ever heard anybody put
AG in onion? I I like the southerners are a

(16:40):
lot like when you say walking like riding anything that ends
with AG. You guys are walking, riding
like the G is so hard pronouncedin like a lot of southern
people's way of saying it. And I'm like, why do you?
Think we throw in the G walking,riding.
See, there's that. That's what I assume.
But like when I hear like my wife speak or my my daughter

(17:02):
speak, like it's always riding and there's a guy.
At the end of the day, there's abig stereotype of Southern
people that we might not be as smarter as the rest of the
world, so we are trying to annunciate our words so you
don't get a pre ideal of what weare.
See, that's one of the wildest things though, is because like

(17:22):
I've got a buddy, his parents assouthern as could be, like their
thick accents, but he talks likehe's I mean, similar to me where
I don't really have. I tell people I'm from New York
and they're like, you don't sound like you're from.
New York, NY. And then but like with him, he
doesn't have an accent. He doesn't have a South Southern
accent. He doesn't.
Have what are the words that come after New York Something

(17:43):
something the. Dreams are made of.
This fish will remind you, I don't fucking know.
It's something all the back to the movie I was going to talk
about and then we got off on BBQ.
Barbecue. But yeah, so Lexington claims to
be the BBQ capital of the world.What we do have like what is a
fact not an opinion like BBQ capital of the world is a fact,

(18:07):
is that we have a bunch of pig statues.
A bunch a. Plethora of pig statues.
Last year there was 76 of them. I really want to do AB style
horror movie with like realisticeffects, like the Thing where
it's, you know, barbecue festival, everybody's happy and
eating and everything. The pig statues come to life,

(18:29):
but they're this these horribly grotesque, like actual pig
monsters. And like they're going to hold
their own like people festival BBQ.
Yeah, they're going to, they're going to do their own barbecue
and they're just like fucking attacking people and shit like
that. If you're like Mike, how do you
make a plot like that good? You don't.
You don't. It doesn't have to be good.
Hopefully it does not. And in mine because you're like,

(18:53):
oh, you can have one of those movies, but people can't take
themselves seriously. Oh, they're going to take
themselves too seriously, like too seriously.
So if I were to do it, because there is, you know, if you have
a terrible movie, but you don't take yourself seriously as
people like like that. But if you have a terrible movie
and people take themselves seriously, then it's like, ah,

(19:14):
like you were really trying for it.
Like to make this good. Like what?
They're going to take themselvestoo seriously.
Like everybody's just going to be in.
Like this is what we've been planning for.
Like we knew this was going to happen.
And I'm talking fucking. I want to see terror on
people's. Face how many people we have to
get for this movie though, because like the BBQ festival

(19:35):
brings in like a shit ton of people, so we have to like we
have to have so many extras. No, no, no.
So The thing is, is that they would have to stop the pigs
before daytime, yeah. So it's like.
Spoiler alert at the end of the movie, like you wouldn't need
like just like a crowd of people.
But then it's just like AB Real shot at the BBQ festival.

(19:56):
It's almost like them, just likewalking out, like oh God that
was a fucking night. Yeah, and then you just get AB
real shot at the BBQ festival and then you just go into an
alleyway and you have the camerazoom up slowly and you have one
of the pigs hands come out from somewhere like, yeah, So you
know, yeah, I'll fuck you, bro. I would probably I would voice
all the pigs. Like they'd be talking to each

(20:16):
other and shit like that. And then we'd have one like pig
mutant monster expert, like I'veseen this before.
Where? Where have you seen this before?
I'm sure there's another fuckinglike.
That's the thing with like. Korea, Korea, Korean, Koreans
tried to, they do their own barbecue.
And now be it, it is delicious, it has broken the cycle of, you

(20:37):
know, Americans doing it or whatever.
I don't know what plot I would put behind it.
It'd probably be like racially motivated.
I don't know. The whole thing is going to be
convoluted. The story, I'm saying this, the
plot, but everybody in it, I want them to take it real
seriously. Like they're really in that
moment of the science never has to make sense.
I was thinking. About one pig's going to be like

(20:57):
humanoid pigs. Or are they?
Oh. Yes, yes, absolutely.
Like not they're not going to beon off legs, yeah, there's just
going to be walking so. It's going to be people like in.
Oh, there's going to be like a, there's like a pig BLOB and shit
that just like fucking fucking walks his way up And then, you
know, a guy falls down. He's like, yeah, and there's
like plenty of time. He's like get up and get the

(21:19):
time away from it's like, you know, have you ever seen what is
it troll street or whatever, where he goes to stay with his
grandma and there's a bunch of trolls B movie and he comes in
and a trolls like eating one of the other humans and he's like,
Oh my God. I'm like, brother, that's 4
seconds. You could have been running like
he could have been getting out of there, but instead he does

(21:41):
that really long. It's the one of the funniest
moments in movies. I fucking.
But yeah, just like have that touchable.
Just be like, you know, the Korean started barbecuing and
now the BBQ. Whatever balance has been thrown
off. You know that it's not actually
that far fetched because of like, you know, the pigs that
have gotten loose that are now like wild boars and like it is

(22:03):
becoming like a super invasive and they're like really smart
and like straight up like murderers.
They will just take out anythingthat's in their path and it's
almost like reality. Yeah, pig monsters.
Yeah, like a little pig. BLOB And it'd be cool if they
were like living under the city because, you know, they've
always talked about how there's like these secret passageways.

(22:25):
Statues that come to life, all the pig statues through some
kind of curse. Oh, OK.
Yeah, Why would they be living underground?
I mean, they could be picked if we really wanted to.
Like we could do this to where? There's all of a sudden like
busting. But I was thinking of another
movie too. I forgot what it was because I'm
fucking just like running through all these stupid fucking

(22:46):
movies that I come up with. But in it, there's something
that has to go on. And we just never explained the
science behind it because why a it's going to be wrong.
BI don't have to. But then we'll get the Neil
deGrasse Tyson tweet though, if the science isn't off, if we can
put the wrong star in the sky and get this fucker to watch it,
he'll be like. I've seen so many Neil deGrasse

(23:08):
Tyson clips of he will be like, here's a very easy way to think
about it, and then he talks. 20 minutes.
Yeah, 2 1/2 minutes, like I talkgoing from thing to thing and
you're like, I fucking learn nothing.
He's like, This is why, This is why people look so dumb because
if you just think about it like this and then he goes off, I'm
like, you didn't even talk aboutwhat the fuck there was to talk
about. Yeah, I mean, that's like this

(23:29):
podcast that's literally hours of.
People's life. This podcast.
This podcast is Neil Neil Duras Tyson's Brain.
Explaining how Star Wars got thewrong sky on December 22nd of
year 5322. And he was.
Just baffled how Titanic got it wrong.

(23:49):
They got it. No, they got it right.
No, Titanic got it wrong. Oh, OK, Ted with the teddy bear
and Mark Wahlberg got it right. They got their sky right and
Titanic did not. And.
Then wasn't that's too much talked.
About a lot of them, if I'm making a movie that's back in
the day, bro, you're getting today sky like you're getting
that sky. I'm not going to be like, well,

(24:09):
let's make the sky like, you know, 1850 because that's really
going to make them feel. Because if I thought a couple
shacks, people dress OK, you're going to be like, OK, we're
Cowboys. Dude, we need to just make a
movie. We need to just like, go ahead
and bite the bullet and do it. I know, I know.
We're broke. I.
Know we're broke. Like that's where the world's
did it, dude. They did it sitting in front of
a fucking computer. What was their budget?

(24:31):
Because people, they had to millions to embezzle so much
money to make sense of that budget.
I I read a a news article. I have not seen War of the
Worlds. I'm going to watch it.
We're going to talk about it on the next episode because Dylan
has seen it, but. I need to watch it again, I saw.
Like, I saw clips of the movie and I was like, oh, like some

(24:51):
mobile game company paid Ice Cube for an ad.
That's what I can't fake it because I was just like he was,
he was like, he's on a computer a fucking it looks like he's
live streaming and then he's reading the fucking script.
That's like obviously near the computer.
We'll see Like the. Whoa, We got to get out here.
You got to go. You got to drive fast.
You got to turn down that street.
The thing is is like the CGI andlike a lot of it is decent and

(25:15):
it could have been like it was it was almost yes.
Ice cubes performance is definitely lacking, not the
right fit for. He's obviously lost his
attitude. Well, and it's also like The
thing is though, is yes, it's onthe actor, but it's on, but it's
on the director to get the rightperformance out of him.

(25:37):
And it's just such a lackluster,like, like, come on, man, give
me some energy like me, like your kids are about to get
fucking, you know, annihilated by this fucking space alien.
Like get some energy behind you.But it's just.
Like it's like Ice Cube act right now, like your kids are
getting kidnapped. Oh no, please don't take my
kids. Exactly.
I will chase you in my car. I will get in my car right now

(25:58):
and chase you. And it's just like, wow, this is
they, they legitimately filmed this and they were like, OK.
This is That's why they put no marketing budget behind it.
That's why everybody was like a War of the Worlds movie with Ice
Cube. We don't even, we don't want
anybody to watch. It do you not remember when he
was doing like all the family movies?
I love that shit, but I was alsoa kid.
I'm not went back and rewatched.I'm like, are we there yet?

(26:19):
Are we done yet? I never went back to rewatch
them, but I was just like, Ice Cube's going to be an actor
forever. And then he's just like I'm
starring and nothing else. Yeah.
And now he's come back and. I mean, he's like one of the
coolest guys, like when it comesto like music and acting and
stuff like that. There's some really cool stuff
that he's done, but this is not going to go down and have you.

(26:41):
Ever seen Bones with Snoop Dogg?Bones, it's a movie.
It's a horror. Movie Yeah, these teens go stay
in this house and has a spirit. See, I don't think he would be a
good. Actor, it's Snoop Dogg and he
has like the switchblade knife, bro, when I was a kid, I loved
that movie. Fucking loved it.
I'm not. I like, I know because I know
nobody like talks about that movie, brings it up.
I was like, oh, that's probably like a.

(27:02):
See, the only acting that I knowof Snoop Dogg was in old school
and like, it was not good for that 15 seconds that he was, you
know, acting in that one. His his cadence never changes.
No, I'm pretty sure that's what it's like in Bones too.
But yeah, he's just, I don't know if he's like a slave that
died, something like that, but he's like a vengeful spirit and
he has a switchblade and well, he's dressed like a pimp, so I

(27:25):
assume he wasn't like a slave ornothing like that.
I don't know what I might a fever dream this movie honestly.
Sinbad or what? What is it the the?
Shazam. Shazam.
Yeah, Sinbad. Yeah, What is it called?
Kazam. Maybe without Kazam with
Shaquille O'Neal. Yeah.

(27:45):
People are like, no, it was called Shazam with.
No, that's not how I remember it.
I remember Shazam with ShaquilleO'Neal.
It was Shazam, not Kazam. And everybody's like, awesome.
The genie is different. And I don't remember anything
with because I vividly remember watching Shaquille O'Neal and

(28:08):
Kazam. And I thought it was like, but
it was Shazam. It wasn't because of him then.
Yeah, I don't know. But I also knew that was
Shaquille O'Neal. I definitely remember something
was Simba but like it's been. Like just look at 30 O'Neal that
mother fucker looks like a genie.
Like if he if he popped out in aghostly form, anybody would be
like a genie. Like, even if he's like, like

(28:29):
say he was a vengeful. Spirit, he's so fucking tall.
Like he's so I love. How you look at the sky.
Because that's what a he his head would be like right there.
His head would be like hitting the fucking that that fucking
light up there, like he's so fucking tall.
I don't know, he's one of those.Just like, please don't.

(28:50):
Let's not hear any crazy shit come out about Shaquille O'Neal,
please. No, because he's like,
wholesome. Yeah, like he's like legit.
Like our wholesome people are like Bill Cosby?
Who would have thought? Yeah, I mean.
Are you getting sleepy there? Yeah, if something came out, but
Shaq has been always like, you know, helping that that would be

(29:12):
the fucked up thing is like cuz like he helps a bunch of young
kids and families and stuff likethat like that.
Yeah. I don't really think I know Bill
Cosby, like played the family man, but I don't really
remember, you know, him being influential in like the
community where. He was very like, I don't know
cuz I'm not like in the black community and I don't know like

(29:33):
when I like you know, grew up inhood and shit like that.
If he'd helped us out, you know what I'm saying?
And like, oh, there's actually acouple white people here on a
leave just. But like, I think he did.
I think he was like he partook in helping.
I don't. I don't fucking.
Know well, like, I mean Shaq though, like he created brands
and shit to sell at Walmart so that kids could afford to buy
like shoes. And like he, he's bought like a

(29:54):
bunch of stuff like trying to help.
And I'm not like acting like he's like some sort of saying, I
don't know, I don't know enough about him.
But like, it just seems like he's like through and through a
nice dude. Whereas I think Bill Cosby like
played a nice dude on TV more sothan he was like known as the
nice dude in the name. Was Shaq too?
Is is, I think it was. I think it was Shaq.

(30:16):
And it was Michael Jordan's mom that told him to just like,
invest in shit and don't just blow your money and stuff.
So he invested in this little startup called Google and then
in this little start up called Ring.
Yeah. And I was like, where's my
financial advisor? That's just like, hey, like,
well, what do you mean like, well, firstly, you have to have
money, Mike. Yeah, $10 invested in Google in,

(30:39):
you know, 1990s any stock. That we can get.
He's like, no, no, like that is literally gambling and I'm just
like, but how much years can I get for this $20?
So you're saying I can? Yeah, you're just going to lose
$20. But if you just, if you had to
say someone was holding a gun, is someone holding a gun to you
right now? Like, no, then I wouldn't do it.
But just say, say someone's holding a gun to you.

(31:02):
Will you hold this gun to me? Right.
Yes. Would you like me to pull out a
gun and hold it to you? I guess yes, yes.
All right, so if we were to makea movie broke, how would we do
it? Like I think that's The thing is
finding the least amount of overhead that we can take on.
So no, it doesn't have to be found footage.
It just has to be like limited locations.

(31:23):
It needs to be limited amount ofpeople.
And so it doesn't have to be found footage.
Found footage is just like it's almost you can make found
footage shitty because like, I mean, that's basically what
where are the world's is. It's supposed to be like a found
footage behind the scenes of a bunch of team meetings and
computer screens. That's what you're watching the
whole time. Also they were like this is

(31:43):
going to be like Cloverfield butbad.
It's terrible. I don't.
I didn't watch Cloverfield so. Cloverfield's like the fountain
footage alien movie. That's good.
Well it's not AI think it's a Kaiju movie, but I think it's an
alien. I just learned what kaijus are
probably. An alien.
What's so crazy? As I was talking to him about
Kaijus and he was like who? Who knows what Kaijus?
Well, no, it's like millions of people.
MM was like in one of his jokes,he's like, you know, the large

(32:09):
Kaiju. Yeah, it's.
Like because, because then you get a bad genie and.
You've been no. No, no, yeah, 'cause I'll be
like I said, what about like YouTube intros?
I was like, that'd be like getting a genie that every wish
turned into a bad thing and now you got a Kaiju sized chicken
running around destroying the city.
Giant cock. Yeah, did not.

(32:30):
But like, I mean that's one thing though, is like until I
was talking to my friend and he was talking about his Godzilla
collection and he called them kaijus.
And so like then I was like, Oh well that's OK.
That that makes sense now. And then when I said it to Mike,
I was like, I finally know what this thing is.
He's like everybody knows what this thing is.
He knows before we had the conversation on the Kaiju's

(32:52):
before and then your friend. Yeah, so like and it was a
couple days later and that's it was like that was me saying it
to you in the universe was just like, I'm going to put it into.
Like it's, it is like back to like the card game thing.
It's the lingo and the the knowledge and you know for an
average person if you go and aska bar room full of people I

(33:12):
would guess 15 to 20% of them know what a Kaiju is would be my
guess. I would say more of them seeing
Godzilla than that. Yes, and Godzilla would be the
name that they would know it as,not Kaiju like that.
Is Godzilla referred to as a Kaiju?
Not in the new Godzilla. This is what I'm getting at
though is it's a very niche termso like most people unless
they're thick in the sauce. Same thing with cards.

(33:34):
It's the. Terminology that you referred to
as a Kaiju, the new one. Well, they were referred to as.
I think they were referred to askaijus or monarchs or something.
No, Monarch was the company. Well, I think they were kaijus.
I don't think they were kaijus. I think they got a different
name. I don't know.
I'm just saying it's a it's a niche term and then once you do
hear it, you know it for good. But like.
Talk so much shit about Godzilla2000 and I was like, you guys

(33:57):
are tripping. That movie's banging good.
And then I watched it and I was like, like the scene.
Was the one that you grew up on or?
Yeah. Godzilla.
No. Well, I mean, you had the black
and white ones and then you had,you know, Godzilla 2000.
And that's the one with the dudefrom Ferris Bueller, Ferris
Bueller's Day Off. So which he, you know, killed

(34:18):
two people in the Uka mother anddaughter from speeding.
Oh, really? Yeah.
I just got a $500 fine, something like that, you know,
for taking two people's lives. What what greatness it is to be
a celebrity. And but I love how I bring that
up too. I just like the, I don't like
the shitty shit. Like I don't like when people

(34:39):
that are popular get away with shit.
So yeah, that was the one he wasin.
He was like the earthworm scientist.
And then I'm watching it and I'mlike, OK, Godzilla's about Tech
City. And then there's obviously
computer generated Godzilla comes out of the water.
It's not terrible, terrible. And the the foot stomps kind of

(35:02):
look good and walk through the city and that looks all right.
When I take do the big shots of it, he looks very bad.
And then when you Power Rangers though, when you went get to the
Godzilla babies, it looks reallybad.
I want to make sure Ferris Bueller was the one that did
that and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, because I feel like stuff
like that is like, like there's a difference between you don't

(35:23):
want to do the same one. What was the name?
I have no idea. Fuck, I can't remember his
stupid name. I'm not good at.
Matthew Broderick. Let's see Matthew.
Let's see if Matthew killed anybody.
I'm I'm R Jamie. Yeah, we need to hire Scott for
free. Yeah, what is that intern?

(35:46):
How old is Scott 40? He's got to be nearing 50.
No 40, 344. Really.
Wow, he looks wise. He's a full-fledged Gen.
Xer, though. All right, 1987 car crash.
We're gonna read it. 1987 that was back in his prime.
Yeah, in his prime, Yeah, that'swhat I'm saying.

(36:06):
It's like now he's not in any movies.
He's going to jail. On August 5th, 1987, while
driving a rented car outside of Tempo Northern Island Project
crossed into the wrong lane and collided head on with another
car. The driver, Anna Gallagher, 28,
and her mother, Margaret Deherity.
Those are very Irish last names.63 were both killed instantly.

(36:26):
He was vacationing with JenniferGray, who he had begun dating
during the filming of Ferris Wheeler's Day Off.
Oh. Damn, yeah.
That was like, we can't let thismovie fucking suffer.
He suffered A fracture, leg and ribs, concussion, collapsed
lung. He told the police he had no
recollection of the crash and did not know why he was in the
wrong lane. What I remember first is waking
up in the hospital. The victim's family called the
verdict A tragedy always becausethere's the verdict.

(36:49):
He was charged with causing death by dangerous driving and
faced up to five years in prison, but was convicted of a
lesser charge of careless driving and fined €100.
So. Man, that would have been
totally different life trajectory for for the young man

(37:10):
had he faced the penalty that anybody else would have faced.
Right. We were like, damn, man,
remember that guy from Failure Bills that the lead actor and
then he just went to prison and.That was five years.
I mean, he would have made it back out.
That's one of the biggest thingsthat but it's like.
Darren it's like, man, because it's probably not during
filming, it's probably during post production.
So they're putting it together and they're like, man, we can't

(37:31):
have this come out and this guysin prison, so they're going up
there. And that's the shitty thing.
He's. A good boy and this is the first
time he was like, you know, racing down the we don't know
what he was doing to end up in the wrong lane, but I've read
other things that say like he was 100% like at fault, like
maliciously driving for some reason so.
Well, I mean, people are going to like anybody that's not there
and didn't study the fucking actual shit is just it's all

(37:55):
conjecture. Like you don't have any fucking
clue. But like, the whole thing is,
though, is, you know, just because you are famous, just
because you are, you know, somebody of influence, you
shouldn't get special treatment.It should be just like anybody
else. And then like, in five years, he
could have gotten out and he could have turned his life
around either which way. Like I mean, he didn't do it

(38:15):
maliciously. All right, so we're going to
read some advice from one of theviewers.
Title says sneaky little bossman.
Bossman's kid. Bossman's kid, if you can leave
my name out, please and thank you.
But they didn't. They didn't have to put.
Do they know that? No, they, I mean they never put
their names in, but they have toput their names in for us to put

(38:36):
it in. Also I love your videos.
Nice so we have the boss's son working with us now and somehow
he got a company long sleeve shirt which company shirts are
hard to come by but they never give them out.
So his dad must have stole it for him or did another
unspeakable thing. But anyways he always wears this

(38:56):
black shirt and it's summertime.We Weld and we have welding
jacket jackets and sleeves, but he crystal that he gets what
crystal that he gets burned and it's too hot for a welding
jacket. I don't know.
This is fucking on. All right, so we're going to go
to a different. One, all of them.
All of them are. All of them are like that.

(39:18):
Look, that's why we need people to like, just just give a little
bit of advice to the podcast. How long have they been there
for? Two days I.
Don't know what's going on. He's like jumping from point to
point. Not that none of the story is
like he's using those ellipses. Yeah, I'm guessing, he says.
He says that it gets he gets burned and it's too hot for

(39:42):
wearing the welding jacket. Yeah, no, this is fucking.
Dude was like, let me, I I have.He's like, I hung out with
Michael enough I'm able to decide for bullshit.
Dude is a you know what? He's a bigger guy and moves like
a turtle man. So on a Monday I stuck a sticker
on his back that says something like I don't know what I'm doing
as a joke. The next day I figured he would

(40:03):
come in and be like oh man who stuck this on me?
But no, he didn't say anything. I go to another coworker and ask
if he noticed it. Dude goes no man, I think it's
still on him. It indeed was still on him.
It was the same shirt as yesterday.
He has now been wearing the sameshirt for a whole week and he
smells horrible. His coworker moved the trash
next to him so he could smell the trash can and not the stinky

(40:26):
guy and we all know he hasn't washed it because the sticker is
on his back. We tried to give him little
hints and stuff but like dude won't pick up on it and we are
trying to not be rude. His dad is our boss but it's bad
man. When the porta potty guy comes
it smells better than that guy. What do we do here?
So I had got a friend hired on at my job, all right, and like,

(40:50):
I guess hanging out with him andI'm like public.
It's not a like a sweaty factory.
You don't really notice that he stinks.
And he started working at the factory man.
And the guy he's working with was like, wow, that boy fucking
he smells terrible, bro. And I'm like, what are you
talking about? So I start like getting around
like bro and that man I have it was rough because you don't want

(41:11):
it. It's not like a friend friend we
had just like, you know, old man.
He was like, Oh yeah, I got AI know a place where you can get a
job at. And then they were the
supervisor was just like, you should have the talk with them
about because he's your friend. Yeah, because he's your friend
about, you know, maybe we put ona little bit deodorant and it's
hot in here. And I was like, how do I have an
adult conversation with a guy who's around my age about hey,

(41:33):
buddy, you smell like balls, bro.
And it's not even he it's not even swamp ass that he smelled
like. It's he He just smelled like
stinky shoes. Why don't you just do your
normal like guy jabs where you just make fun of him for
something that's kind of. Like, he's not the type of guy
you could tell who's the type ofperson that could take those
jokes, you know, like the personlike you poke fun at and they're

(41:53):
like, well, you know, I try to work out a little bit.
I've been walking more than he was like no, I'm a.
Monster. Well, that was fucking yeah.
That was right to the quick there.
Yeah, I'm all fucking. I'm just the the evil guy.
Like fuck. So that's why you said that joke
to. Me which one?
I told you I've been trying to work out and you're like making
fat jokes about me. What did I make a fat joke
about? Just right now you're, you're

(42:15):
bringing up that because it was like pertinent to me.
And I just call you the health guy now because we went and got
some water bottles for the watercooler thing Dylan has over
there. And I'm assuming I'm going to
grab one of these big ass water jugs and Dylan grabs both of
them. And I'm just like, that's right.
He's the, he's like the health guy.
The I can do it guy. So I was like, fuck yeah.

(42:37):
That's just how I am anyways, stubborn asshole.
Me is my fat lazy ass. I grab one of them bottles man,
throw my neck out. I don't even know how it works,
just throw my neck out. You'll see The thing is carrying
one's way hard, but carrying twobounces you out.
So they are all like that. They're pretty bad, yeah.
I don't know where all the creamof the crop went because I mean,

(42:58):
we had a hot run for a little while of just.
So many, I guess we've just solved everybody's problems.
Like they listen to this podcast, they're like, we know
how to navigate life. Well, see, that's why people
need to share the podcast so that more people ask for our
advice. Right, because like you guys are
now probably I'm assuming. Millionaires.
Yeah, millionaires. And you know how to make a woman

(43:21):
come 17 times and. Happy, healthy relationships,
great father, mother situations.Like we've, we've fixed
everything so now you guys aren't sending anything else
because everything solved. Got to share it to other people
like it's, I understand you wantto hoard the the like if
somebody's giving you premium knowledge about something, you
don't want everybody else to be happy, right?

(43:42):
No, because how are you going tobe Jeff Bezos if everybody can
be Jeff? That's what I imagine rich
people are like. They're just like the like the
fucking 1% billionaires. They're like, fuck, we can't let
anybody else get billions of dollars.
Fuck that shit. But this title says, I know I'm
the asshole and completely regret this, but this is the
story how I kind of sort of lit myself on fire.

(44:03):
You ever lit yourself on fire? Yeah, no, yeah.
I mean, I've, I've been on fire,yes.
We were doing a, you know, when you had the Axe spray and you
used to make flame throwers. Everybody did that as a kid
watching or we had someone we were like playing with it.
And he was like, yeah, I don't play with those because I heard

(44:24):
of somebody at my school blew their hand off doing that.
And I was like, what do you meanblew their hand off doing that?
And it was like, well, it can suck back into the can.
And I was like, well, obviously you're stupid because it blows
out and then I'm doing it. And then when I stopped doing
it, there's a little fire at thetip of the can.
So I like thought never again, never get that.
And me, because I had it was synchronicity too, that I heard
it. And I guess I'm just like

(44:45):
looking for it. Probably did it before and I
just didn't notice. And thank God I didn't like blow
my hand off it. Won't suck into the can.
Man, did you see that one guy? I think I talked about it on the
podcast, but he blew his hand off during the 4th of July.
He works for. What's this, Adam 22?
So the only so the only reason Iknow about Adam 22 is because he

(45:05):
is what the fuck is his girlfriend's name?
It's like Lila or some shit likethat.
But he let his girlfriend because he, I guess he wanted
to, he's, what do you call it, the cold?
He wanted his girlfriend to sleep with a black guy or
something like that. I have no idea the back story of
what went on. I don't know if his girlfriend's

(45:25):
also like a porn star. So that could be it.
And I mean, I guess you know, ifthere's already 1000 videos out
there was the difference between1002 videos out there, 1001
videos out there. But he let his girlfriend sleep
with a porn star. So that's how I know who he is.
And at first I was baffled because like with the first
comment section I looked at was just like, Oh yeah, bro, like

(45:48):
live your life and stuff like that.
I was like that. That's crazy.
That's not the advice I would give.
But you know, you know what I'm saying?
Like that's not the advice I would give because the video I
saw was also him talking shit about somebody too.
And I'm like, the first thing I'm going for is that situation
right there. If I'm talking shit back, that's
the first thing I'm hitting that.
But he had a guy that worked forhim and then this guy, I seen a

(46:11):
video with him and him and I guess this guy was like, I don't
know, a fucking gang member. I have no clue.
They do their own podcast way bigger than us, way more popular
than us. So I mean, I guess if we, we now
know the formula to get popular,all right, go out there, babe,
Make us proud, Get us a lot of podcast watchers.
But yeah, he blew his hand off with a which I don't know, I'm

(46:34):
on TikTok. You would think you would get
the censored video. I did not.
And it was like, you know, in cartoons when they blow their
hands off and like they're just everything peeled back and it's
like, there's just like me. That's what I got to see.
And it was like, guy that works on Adam 22's podcast blew his
hand. And I thought, I'm like, all
right, well, that's why you don't do it.
I learned with Jason Pierre Paulnever to hold a firework.

(46:59):
Also common sense. They'd also tell me that like,
if something explodes, probably shouldn't hold it.
No, but every year it happens tosomebody like.
Well, that's because it's there's no surefire way other
than like being at a distance tonot actually because like, I
mean, I've been at a big one up in New York when I before I
moved down here and some of the even though it was like put on

(47:21):
by professionals, some of them had like fallen over and so they
start shooting not in the direction they were supposed to
be shooting at. So they're starting to like hit
trees and like exploding around people.
Like I mean it can happen any anytime with even trained
professionals doing it. So like, yeah, it's pretty easy
to get the blow up hand. The funniest thing too is like,

(47:44):
I'm just like, man, I would never hold a firework.
No. But then videos where the
firework just goes in the direction they don't want it to,
I guess because nobody gets hurtin the videos.
But I fucking love those videos.And it's always just like a Mama
or Papa or somebody that's just like sitting there in the
firework goes their direction. Have you seen the one video
where the pop all just like lights the fucking firework and
just like those that beside him and it's like exploding right

(48:04):
there while he's like laughing just walking off the porch.
I was like, that man served in awar.
We had one where we were shooting bottle rockets out of a
van when I was like 17 or 18 andone of my buddies tried to stick
it like out of the old school vans where the window just kind
of slides open like that. And he tried to stick it out
through there and it never went out.
And so it was inside the van. Oh fuck.

(48:26):
And then exploded and like it reminded me of a CKY video where
they had kicked a football at this van and or at this car.
And the guy's like, this is my brand new car.
And he's like, it's a 96. And this was like CKY 2K.
So it's like in 2000. So it's a four year old car.
And so like in that moment, likemy friend was like, go, my
parents are going to be so mad. This is a nice van.

(48:47):
And it was not. It was like in 1980s fucking
like shitty ass man. Like your parents aren't going
to be mad. Then we had a guy at our school
he, they shot fireworks into somebody's car, just like to
joke around and it like melted the car and the fire burned so
hot inside of the car, like it melted the fucking roof down.
And then here's the baffling part because one of the kids

(49:08):
left their wallet at the car andI'm like, under what
circumstance are you fireworkinga car?
And you're just like, fuck, I left my wallet there.
I don't know if it dropped out of his pocket, but he was like,
they had came to a party with usand he was like, what do you
think would happen? Because now it was all
surrounded by police and shit like that.
I was like, well, they know immediately now who did it.
Like, yes, you're the first person they're going to talk to.

(49:31):
Huh. There's no evidence around here
anywhere. Oh, this wall edge just.
Wow, I have the name and face ofsomebody who did.
Also. I got 20 bucks.
Yeah, well, that wasn't in the wall when we found it, but your
ID was buckaroo. Like how do you, how do you get
out of that? It's like, Oh well, yeah, I know
the person from that I did it toor whatever.
But yeah, that guy stole my wallet, Yeah.

(49:52):
Oh, fuck, I think, I think he made it to.
Yeah. Well, you know, we're friends
sometimes. We, you know, you've never been
like, hey, let's exchange wallets for the day.
It's like, what do you have his wallet?
Like no. No, he wouldn't give me his.
Right. He ain't got his ID yet.
All right, so, OK, so 10 years ago when I was how did we get to
fireworks? I'll let him fire on fire.
OK OK so 10 years ago when I was17 I was at my buddy's house at

(50:12):
a party. His parents were out of state so
like five of us were drinking beer and smoking weed and I was
popping Xanax because I'm a drugaddict.
Nice. Somehow I'm still up and wide
awake at one or two in the morning, still kind of fuzzy.
That's crazy on Xanax. Dude.
My friend's house, my friend's house I was at decided he was
going to sleep and everyone elseleft.

(50:32):
The guy who didn't leave and stayed up with me apparently got
bored looked at me and quote andand I quote said you want to do
some G shit Me being fucking zooted son said well sure.
So I found myself being the lookout while he broke into his
truck while on our walk back. He was tripping about
fingerprints and whatever. I don't remember much during
this period but what I know for sure is we got a full can of gas

(50:53):
and we were walking back. Said truck poured gas inside of
the truck under the hood. I'm fucking wasted.
So this wasn't the fastest or cleanest pouring of gas by any
means. He pushed out and they want to
light it so I said fuck it we'rehere.
Lit that shit and my peanut brain didn't know the fumes
catch but sure as shit did. Fucking flames engulfed my
string being asked my arms. My face was prime real estate

(51:14):
for fire. Tripped and fumble, rolled over,
got up and took off running. Was terrified getting arrested
so I tried thugging it out. He was like damn.
Skin was tingling from my arms and face.
Finally two hours later I decided I needed to go to the
hospital. Second third degree burns all
over my upper body. And that's how my crime career
ended up because fuck that. Being a thief made me sick to my
stomach. I meet, I'm almost 100% sure

(51:37):
they immediately get the criminal who does that.
They're like somebody blew up this van.
We just got somebody in the hospital with second, third
degree burn. So.
It's crazy that people don't realize how like combustible the
fumes of gas are. Like, it's not the liquid.
It's not the liquid at all. And the fumes, you can't see
them, so you pour a big old puddle of it.

(51:58):
The fucking fumes are out three times further and like, no.
Don't. Well sometimes like you could
like more than stupidity is a thing because my wife when her
car gets low it will not crank. It's like the normally we have
good experiences with Kia. The past Kia purchase we had is
not a good experience. But her car won't start if it's
like got very low gas and she's a woman so she never puts gas in

(52:19):
it and she'll have like 5 miles left and be like will you take
it to get gas? I'll just put it on the way
home. So she knows, like when it's at
very low gas, because of how ourdriveway is too, it won't crank.
So I have to go get gas. And I get gas and I sit in my
passenger seat and I'm riding down the road and, you know, it
smells like gas real bad in there.
So I roll down the window. And I light up a cigarette.
Well, no, because I see something going on at the crack

(52:40):
motel. So I'm like, oh, like looking at
it and stuff. There's cars going by and shit.
So I'm like pulling it out and Igo to light it and I just
happened to just look over at the gas tank.
I wouldn't have looked over at it any other way.
And I'm just like, once you lookat that, my whole life would
have just ended with, you know, some crackheads here.
They looked over and I'd be likeI.
Don't think you're supposed to ride with the gas tank in the

(53:02):
front of the car. Man stop driving rolls the
stupidest fucking thing because who's going to remember that?
Nobody ever remembers that on fire.
I have never seen someone like get lit on fire like who in that
time frame of going through the most intense pain.
Just like I need to stop what I'm doing, fire out because the
first thing I'm looking for is abody of water.
Yeah, that's the best thing. If you got like a, if you like

(53:23):
stuff on fire and there's a lakeright there, I'm saying jump in
the lake. Don't stop driving wrong.
Like just yeah, unless you're like in liquid.
Gasoline that will then come offand like create a barrier of
like fire on top of the water. Wait, what?
If like the actual gas was on. Top of the water and you lit the
water on fire. That just be like a film of fire

(53:43):
on top of the water because the gas in the water don't mix.
So it would just, but you'd haveto be like Jurassic Park.
You'd have to be like super soaked.
In gas. To have that happen, probably.
I think you'd die if you're super soaked in gas though,
right? Because it just burns so hot so
quickly. Yeah, gas fire burns hot.
Like. Hotter than a normal fire,
correct? I don't know.

(54:05):
I don't know the temperatures. Of fires.
Somebody, somebody will know thetemperatures of fires.
That's why it's so hard on the Internet to say anything like
matter unless you 100% know because then someone's going to
be like, well, you got this little factor because I'm
actually an expert on Reddit. Everybody's an expert.
I don't know how on everything. And I'm almost like baffled on
how they they do that. Everybody likes to fight like
they are the expert. Too Bro I'm on the.

(54:27):
Naruto subreddit and it's just like I don't want to be there,
but I like looking at the interesting post and stuff, but
as soon as I journey into them comments, it's just the most
unhinged fucking slop that you have ever seen in your life.
All right, so if we were to makea movie, how would you do it?
Like I think, I think that's Thething is to look.

(54:48):
At some low budget movies, see how they're done, see how we
could do them better. I feel like it's almost like a
little research project that we we find.
Like what's so shitty about low budget movies and then don't
make those mistakes. Well, they were made in the time
where inflation was. Well, I mean, we do have digital
cameras now. Well, and like, but there's a
lot of people out there. Making movies and like it's, I

(55:08):
don't want to say it like as in they're making bad movies, but
they're making movies that like I wouldn't necessarily be proud
to make, but it's there's so much that goes into it.
Like, I mean, edit matters. The fucking acting matters, the
writing matters, the shooting matters.
Like all of it matters. Does it matter if you're getting
attacked by pig monsters? Yeah, your pig monsters matter
at that. Point Let's just make a fucking

(55:30):
look, man. Let's just make.
A like a one person hour and a half horror movie where you
never see the monster. Yeah, I mean, that's like I.
Watched a good one and that's one of the ones that I want to
add to our like future reviews after we're of the War of the
worlds. It's a horror movie, but like,
it was done well. And I mean, it was probably a

(55:51):
high, a higher budget movie, butlike you could shoot it for dirt
cheap. What was it?
I'm not going to say it because it's going to be a future
episode and it's a movie was. It the dead stream, you won't
guess it. Have you seen Dead?
Stream No so swear a. Guy's live streaming and or he's
like a YouTube creator and then he lied.

(56:11):
Like he gets cancelled for doingsomething with cops and when he
comes back he's able to get sponsors and stuff.
So he goes to this haunted houseto see if it's like really
haunted and it is really haunted.
It's about him trying to survivethe house.
The only problem is, and listen,I had fun watching the movie.
I'm going to say the movie was fun up until like I thought the
guy was like playing it up for the cameras.
Also didn't finish it, so there could be some twist.

(56:33):
Wasn't that makes it make all like makes it make sense.
But like there's one part where he gets bit in the neck and he
kills somebody like a person. And then I found out, Oh, he's
not like YouTube acting. He's just, you know, he had a
really creative idea and when hemade the movie, maybe he's not
just like a, because I thought, you know, like his fear and
stuff like that was like, oh God, you too.
I'm so scared. But that was his like, that's

(56:55):
what he's really in fear. That's still how he was.
So I was just like, you know, and I thought the, the idea of
it was really, really fucking good that they did have a little
bit of money behind that though.That's what sucks, man.
You see all these movies, man, and like, you'd be like, fuck, I
think I could shoot that for treatment.
And like, the budget was $45,000,000 and you're just
like, where? Who'd you get the $45,000,000

(57:16):
to? And then what did you spend, you
know, $44.9 million on and then made $100,000 movie.
Like what happened? Because it just feels so absurd
to me that you could make that for $100,000.
A $100,000 is a lot of fucking money.
Yeah, but it takes a lot of people to.
Make a movie. And that's why I'm not, Yeah,
I'm not talking shit, but I'm saying like when?
You see some movies, you'll justbe like when they fall apart in

(57:37):
different areas. Like, I mean, a lot of it comes
down to the editing. Like the edit can really make or
break a movie like so much. And I mean, there's been movies
that I've watched where I'm justlike, there's like this
opportunity. Right here that you.
I see all the parts there. You just don't fucking put them
in this order or you don't. I've seen that with you.

(57:58):
That's what I was about to say because we've shot a bunch.
Of clips and I was like, this isnot going to.
And then there's literally me throw in fucking flour, powdered
sugar in my face and I'm like, fuck, that looks so good.
So yeah, I guess it does come down to the editing.
Well, not even on like a technical aspect.
Of that, it's just like storytelling and like the plot

(58:19):
and like there was this one movie that a friend of mine
worked on and when we watched the actual like the finished
product of it, the scenes at theend.
The lighting was so different that it.
Was like daytime, nighttime, daytime, nighttime every time
that it was cutting back betweenlike the different shots.

(58:40):
And it's like you can fix that. Like you can fix that with just
color grading. Like you can make daytime look
like nighttime and you can make nighttime kind of look a little
bit closer to daytime. Like it's all in how you light
it and everything like that. But even though they shot it
this way, like it's easy enough to make the daytime shots look
like the nighttime shots that like it didn't have to be so

(59:03):
egregiously wrong and take you out of the story because that's
ultimately you just want to be in the story as if it exists.
And it was just like literally like when you shot to you, it
was daytime and then you shot tothe other person.
It was nighttime. And it wasn't like you were
looking at like different parts of the sky.
So it was like the sunset. No, it was like fucking straight
up night. And then straight up day and

(59:25):
it's like, this doesn't work, Just fix this before you put it
out to like give it to people aslike this is the finished
product. Like do something to make that
believable. But it's those little moments
that like can just make or breaka movie.
And for most people, they're like, I don't know what was
wrong with that movie. That one's pretty glaring.
But like for a lot of people, like they're like, I just this

(59:46):
movie didn't feel good. But a lot of times it's just
like these little minuscule things that somebody could have
done better and just fell on their face.
I just don't I don't feel good about that movie and the whole
time like. Every every person shot is all
center, just like Center for him.
He's like what is wrong with this was like a high frame rate.
So it looks like you're watching.
Like Days of our Lives or something like that.
The Walking Dead man, they used to do that like.

(01:00:09):
Fuck it, it looked like a soap opera.
If you watch it on a really goodTV, it literally looked like a
soap opera. We'll see.
That's the actual settings. In the TV though, because a lot
of TV's they have like a refreshrate and certain TV's they they
were sold with, it does what theediting programs do, but it's
called like frame blending whereit will make frames between

(01:00:31):
frames. And so even if The Walking Dead
was shot in like 24 frames per second, it will make up frames
in between. So then it looks like smoother
motion, which is good for watching like a video game or
like a football game, things like that.
Like high action scenes. But for like a movie you want
the motion blur because then it makes it look more movie esque

(01:00:54):
like more. But like that's just a setting
in your TV you can turn on and on.
Only half of my friends TV when they were watching I.
Was like, that's just, I couldn't watch it.
Like Oh no, it's terrible because then it feels like
literally. Like it's a soap.
Opera like if you watch any. Show on those TV like I when we
were buying my house down here in Lexington, my buddy let us go
over to his house while our house was being shown up there

(01:01:14):
in Greensboro. And so we went over to his house
and we put on the TV and he he just leaves it on like those
settings and I had to text him. I was like, dude, I had to turn
that off. Like I could not watch anything
on your TV because like you've got the refresh rate set so that
it makes frames in between and then so then it looks fake.
Like it looks so real that it's fake.
Like it's like weirdly it looks so.

(01:01:36):
It looks like you're out there in the woods.
Yes, if you're going for a realistic look, sure, like go
for it. But it just yeah, I don't know,
it's uneasy, it feels wrong. Yeah, the whole.
Time I'm sitting there just like.
I don't even look at the screen.Well, there's a lot of directors
that had. Basically campaigned that like
it's OK to have those features on ATV.

(01:01:57):
However, when you deliver it to a customer, they should be
forced to turn them on, not be on by by like delivery.
Like when you deliver it, it should not have like all the
frame blending and all this crazy shit on there.
It should be like a sports setting that you turn on.
Not just every single fucking movie you've ever seen now looks
like shit because you are now making frames in between and it

(01:02:19):
looks too much like a Days of Our Lives instead of like the
way that they originally like. See, now I got a lot of.
Confidence in you on the becauseI was like fuck, man, I just
don't want to because I just watched one that a person from
one of the groups that I'm in one of the film groups they had

(01:02:39):
posted and I was just like fuck,that's a YouTube video, brother.
Yeah, so I was like because I did I was like I don't know the
price. It's going to because I'm not
I'm going to be honest with everybody.
I don't know shit about Wyden like I don't know shit about the
settings and stuff like that. That's not by Ave. so fuck look,
I will let's read this last one.We should say the last one for.
The next one because we're not going to get any more.

(01:03:00):
Submissions till then, no, the next one is just us talking
about. A movie or something?
OK, let's get this one. Or the.
World's burned out and. Just be done with it.
All right hand. We're gonna do the last one cuz
this one's a rough one. Too.
All right, my horrific first boyfriend.
Dear Mike and Dylan. Nice.
God, you know, it's so long since someone actually put that

(01:03:21):
so, so I could be fucking this guy right now, but I got to send
this first so I'm making him wait.
So I was 16 and when she threw in the 8:00 I was like, how?
Old are you now? Like, yeah, she was like, I
could be fucking this guy. Right now.
But I got to send this first. I had never, never had held
hands with a boy before. He was 19.

(01:03:43):
I had no idea what I was gettingmyself into and I'm just going
to list it all off for you guys because I don't know where the
fuck there is to start. So I wasn't allowed to talk or
look at other guys and when we were checking out somewhere he
would make me give him my creditcard so it looked like he was
paying. Look, at least be the boyfriend
that like hugs her back and it'sjust like, oh I love her so much

(01:04:04):
while she's buying your PS-5. Like at least be one of those
guys. I let him use my car, I gave him
a place to stay, I paid for rentfor food, I paid for literally
everything. I gave him 2 grand to help buy a
car. He came back with two bongs
birth both worth $2000 and said that he bought them for me and
then got pissed when I was upsethe spent the $2000 I gave him on
bongs. I bought them for you babe.

(01:04:27):
They're a gift for you with yourmoney.
God, how can you not see? You gave me money for a.
Car I can't. I've got you a present with it.
That's like 2 bongs. That's like so fucking good.
Like it's I got you these gifts.It'd be funny if she doesn't
smoke weed. I drove him to work every day
and made his lunch and breakfast, latest clothes out

(01:04:47):
for him because if I didn't he would lose his shit and then I
would be late for work. I'll get up at least 30-40
minutes before him every day. And in the winter I was always
the one to go out early and clear the snow out the car and
started it in the cold even on days I didn't have to work or go
anywhere because again, he wouldlose his shit.
He never brought me on a day, henever got me flat.
Oh he got me flowers I think three times over the course of a

(01:05:08):
year. Year and a half.
I wasn't allowed to see my best friend or any of my friends.
It's been 2 years since we brokeup and I recently found out he
has an entire Instagram page about me talking about how much
he misses me and shit and how hecan't sleep anymore without me.
Two years. My name is in it.
I don't know, it's fucking crazy.
He raped me when I was tripping balls on acid.
I don't think he fully realized what he was doing.

(01:05:29):
I honestly don't know but he wassober and I did not want that.
I was never allowed to wear makeup or anything nice.
Usually all I wear is oversized T-shirts or something.
I really don't care. I never wanted to dress slutty
or anything but if I did or. But if he could CLD was that
good. But if he could as so much see

(01:05:51):
the outline of my tits he would make me change.
He used to say I wasn't allowed to look good because he didn't
want other guys to want me so I had to wear clothes I didn't
really want to wear. At the end of the day I should
have just ended it sooner, but Ihad better or I should have had
better boundaries. I should have stood up for
myself. I didn't know how fucked up it
all was until I left. It was my first anything ha ha.
I thought y'all might get a crack out of this anyways.

(01:06:11):
And yes, a poor man waiting for A and yes a poor man waiting for
a banging is fine. I gave him beer anyways.
Love you ha ha. Chuck sent me your way.
Thanks Chuck. Who the fuck is Chuck?
I wonder if Chuck's the guy thatshe, she wasn't riding to write
that. So listen, apparently she's

(01:06:33):
eighteen. Yeah, that's what it sounded
like. I don't want to give.
Kid advice I don't want to hear about.
Kid Sexapades. But sometimes, you know, when
you first start dating, you justsee that in a person.
You're like, Oh, well, you she said she didn't as so much hold
somebody's hands. So maybe she had some like
insecurities or something like that.

(01:06:54):
A lot of people get stuck into the habit of, you know, well, I
can't find anybody else. Nobody else is going to love me.
And then, you know, manipulatorswill do that guy or girl,
they'll fucking, you know, tear you down the whole time, not
make you be able to fucking wearthe things you want to wear.
So, you know, I guess nobody else finds you attractive.
Just stop having sex with peopleuntil you're 40.
That's a good idea. Just don't, don't, don't do it.

(01:07:16):
It's overrated. How long till your wife turns
40? What do you talk about?
So don't have. Sex different.
I'm 32. OK, I'm a grown man.
But when like 18 year olds are hitting up and I'm just like,
you guys are children, just stophaving sex.
All right? Well, that's the thing.
It's like, you know? I faced the same thing as
throughout my youth was like, I always wanted to have somebody

(01:07:38):
around. Like I always, always like
whether it's, you know, a fling or somebody serious, but like,
there was always a time like I was very few times where I was
like, I don't need anybody. But like, those are the best
times of your life is when you're just like, I'm just going
to figure my shit out. I'm just going to do me.
And like, that's How I Met my wife was like I was in that
period of life where I was just like, no, I'm just going to do

(01:08:00):
what I want to do and spend timewith myself doing whatever I
want to do. And then if somebody like finds
their way in, in this time period, then that's OK.
They can come along for the ride.
But I'm still on the same ride. And at 18, that's what you
should be doing. You should be focusing on like,
you don't know who the fuck you are, so don't just cling on to
somebody and be who they want you to be.

(01:08:21):
Like there's no reason that guy good, good job leaving him.
However, like this new guy, are you doing the shit that he wants
you to do? Are you kind of like fitting
into his mold of like what he wants and then you're not going
to see it until years later downthe road?
Are you actually? Happy are you actually doing the
things that you want to do if you're going out and he's not
making it you know as long as you which I guess when you go
through that for two years like you would see it like start to a

(01:08:44):
lot of times you find the same people again and.
Again like you find people that are very similar to the person
because you are missing that person.
Even if they were shit like you still like like when I.
Was dating like. I would find girls that I could
like fix up, like girls that were like down on things.
And so like they needed like basically to be fixed to become

(01:09:07):
like a flying bird again. Like that's what my wife says is
like, I found like a little, youknow, bird with a broken wing
and then helped her like get back on her feet.
And then that's where we're at. And so like, it's, I think my
wrist is broken. Oh well.
Sorry, I can't fix that. No, it's been.
I think we mentioned on the. Podcast how bad it's been
hurting yeah so like when I rub this one there's.
Nothing when I rub. This one, it's like a just like

(01:09:30):
a little jagged bone bit right there.
I don't fucking that could be like a did you fall?
I don't remember. What I did, that's what I'm.
Saying you're not even on drugs anymore and I.
Just like slept on it weird I think.
I'm just going to practice. I don't know, it could be like a
pinched nerve. You're just too strong for your
own good. Too strong?
Too strong for my own good. So I think the next one, we're
going to talk about the movie that came out.

(01:09:53):
We're going to be pretty critical of it.
Also, I'm probably going to be very angry because tonight is,
you know, the first night of preseason.
I will the first night for Carolina's pre season.
So the starting offense is planned to drive.
So if they go out there and theylook like shit and they're
terrible, then I'm probably going to be very sad because
we're getting into football season.

(01:10:14):
So for the next, you know, fucking 25 weeks, my whole mood
is going to be determined by fucking football team.
And I know it sounds stupid, allright, And I wish I could give
myself advice on it, but I triedto do it before and it's never
fucking worked. I just turned it off.
If you guys would like to support the podcast.
You can go to patreon.com/mike or Dillon and look, nobody's

(01:10:37):
telling you to do it. Nobody's saying, you know, we,
we, if you cannot do it, we do not love the people that do it
more, more, you know what I'm saying?
Like we love everybody the same.But when we are doing the reach
around at Denny's extra tug, Yeah, that guy, I mean and and
the. Grip's going to be.
Superb. Also if you would like to submit

(01:10:58):
a story, if you need advice in your life, then you can go to
mikeanddylan.com, MIKEANDDY lan.com to submit your advice.
Dylan, you got anything else? And then on on there if you
would like to. Not like sign up for a monthly
thing and you just want to like buy us a soft drink or a energy
shop for Mike or bang energy forme.

(01:11:18):
Then you can go to the buy us a coffee and just, you know, give
us a couple bucks if you want todo it that way.
You should have a price on thereto see how much.
It is to bang you. You'd have what price?
Would you put on that? You'd have to talk to my wife.
She's. She's the one that.
Gets control over that She's she's my pimp.
She's your pimp. All right, so we'll get the
I'll. Get the prices from her and I'll

(01:11:39):
mention it in the next 1, so we will see you next time guys
later.

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Abusive Relationships, Failed Criminals, and The Truth About Lexington BBQ | MADHD EP43 |

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