June 12, 2025 • 32 mins
Mike and Dylan tackle relationship stress during graduate school and workplace drama that'll make you rage-quit.
Struggling with a partner who's prioritizing masters degree over relationship duties? Dealing with hypocritical coworkers? We break down real listener problems with brutally honest solutions.
This episode features a listener dealing with unequal partnership during grad school stress - we discuss communication strategies and relationship survival tactics. Plus, malicious compliance gold including a supervisor who got what she asked for and a forklift drama story. We also dive into our growing podcast community, upcoming live show plans, and why honest advice beats sugar-coating every time. Real problems, real solutions, zero corporate HR-approved responses.
We're hosting a Meet & Greet June 15th 2025 at 6 PM at the closed-down Denny's in Thomasville, North Carolina.
Join the guys on their new more concise podcast "2 Daddies Judging Baddies" or stick with MADHD for the deep dives and rambling stories they're known for.
Submit your own drama for Mike and Dylan to solve at https://MikeAndDylan.com or join the conversation on their new subreddit r/MADHD https://www.reddit.com/r/MADHD/ or leave a voicemail at (424) 274-1016
About LaborLama
When they're not solving your drama or unpacking generational trauma, Mike and Dylan are behind LaborLama, a clothing brand dedicated to creating comfortable, quality clothes for people who work hard. Unlike those shady print-on-demand companies sending you mismatched shirts that fall apart after one wash, Labor Llama delivers clothing worth your hard-earned money. Check out their quality apparel at https://laborlama.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Bear never bow down. Mike and Dylan hate drama, but
the Bow Wow. Oh, we're rolling.
We're rolling. I'm getting something.
To drink, Dylan's getting something to drink and I'm going
to welcome you guys to another episode of Mike and Dylan Hate.
Oh, there we go, he yelled from the back.
I don't know if y'all can hear it.
Hate drama where we honestly, wejust we give some advice, we
(00:22):
talk about life, we talk about, I don't know, just whatever the
fuck Mike gets hyper fixated on and then he regrets talking
about. So welcome back guys.
Today we have some advice. We have two Reddit things to go
about now. Tomorrow's episode, which is the
last day in the thank you guys, we're posting five days a week.
(00:43):
We'll actually be able to have advice because we're actually
going to wait in a good amount of days in between to to record
Fridays episode. So we will have that advice and
probably going forward, I think each episode will have plenty of
advice for that are from people so we can actually fucking do
what the podcast is supposed to do.
Well, yeah, I think, I think oneof the things is, is in order to
(01:06):
complete Mike's promise of five in a week, we have to batch some
of these to. So technically we're on Podcast
3 for the day, but ultimately it's it's one of those things
where we're going to be ahead ofthe game now.
And so we'll be we'll be good. But I wanted to shout out a
situation that I just ran acrossin the preparation of this
(01:28):
episode. Specifically, five days ago,
somebody posted about us on the Smosh Reddit.
So actually can't shout out we do not condone, we do not
condone posting about us and other people's reddits.
Like in podcasting, that's fine.Or in like mutual spaces, but
like on their direct podcast I don't.
I mean, I'm not saying everybody, but I'm just saying
(01:50):
thank you for being a listener and he basic they I don't know
whether it's a guy or a girl, but like they had just mentioned
like hey, does has anybody seen this new?
Podcast that is a hell of dope super nice gesture to do man.
That is a crazy. That's what that's that's wild
because then goes like you see these guys they're called as
unapologetic Yeah, that's right.Fuck you.
(02:12):
We're giving you real advice. We don't look, we're not here to
obviously make everybody happy. You can suck my God damn bitch.
You've seen my last three episodes.
Have you seen the last three episodes?
You can suck my Dick before I try to make everybody fucking
happy. So our takes are going that cuz
that when we start reading the Idid get goofy with a couple of
(02:33):
them on TikTok. Other than that they were like
real fucking takes. Like it's like how a human would
look at the situation. I'm not going to be scared to
say something I'm not going to if you know, if I have a take
that some people would call something sexist or if I would
have, you know, just a take thatgoes against like what somebody
(02:56):
thinks is like how you should goabout that.
Fuck that shit. I'm going I'm given the fucking
advice. And then Dylan can kind of do
all the patching things up and let's let's let's forget about
what Mike just said. Give real.
Only disclaimers when he promotes violence, which is
every time, but no. And I I think the thing to, to
(03:18):
focus on with this is like it's,it's cool that somebody actually
just saw it and was like, hey, is anybody else interested?
Like has anybody else seen this?Has anybody else like viewed
this episode? So I'm not condoning, I'm not
promoting, you know, posting us in Smosh or too hot takes
reddits. But like it was it was just cool
in the search to be like, oh, somebody, somebody is that's
(03:40):
watching actually. Likes us that much to say.
Hey people from this other subreddit, which ones got?
Downvoted to. All hell bro like y'all we ain't
trying to start wars OK because I will smite not just get out of
the fuck I'll fuck them up. I am a I'm great at coming up
with jokes. I am.
That is something I do like to laud myself with.
(04:01):
OK, sometimes I do be like play an expert when I should not be
playing an expert. I'll be given a take that I
think is above my knowledge of the subject.
I do that sometimes. I'm also a man.
Not to say I don't have enough knowledge on something to speak
on it. You're just supposed to have
opinions that are facts in your mind and you just die on that
(04:23):
hill. Then I'll tell you that I'm I'm
bro, I'm in the sauce. I read a fuck ton for a dunga.
I do be reading a lot so I do know a lot about things.
And he doesn't stumble in his head at all, but just when he's
trying to read it on a piece of paper, then the stumbles come
out. But in his head it's fluent and.
Clear then I have to like keep up with the words and sometimes
in words get kind of big and they're kind of hard so it does
(04:45):
it does make it quite difficult That was a really cool gesture
we do have the other side that is going to start debuting on
the. It already has, according to
this podcast. Yeah.
So yesterday we are debuting which you guys got the first
glimpse of the other side. And this is also a place where
we can kind of talk about the things that go on on that show.
So we don't have to ramble too much and fucking we can get down
(05:06):
to, you know, doing a quick story, doing some rambling and
really keeping that concise as possible for people that but
they but here you get kind of like the background stuff.
They know if they've heard any of this week's podcasts.
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's definitely been an experience.
Tomorrow's podcast will be back to business as usual where we
(05:27):
have the, you know, advice and have some calculated structure,
You know, especially now coming out with the voicemail too.
I think that's really going to help Mike and Dylan that that's
the one thing I've always wantedwith Mike and Dylan, though, is
it is a place where we can be free and have conversations and
ramble as long as we fucking want to.
But I do want a little bit of structure because at the end of
(05:47):
the day, I do care about someoneturning on a podcast and having
fun from the time that they turnit on to the time they get off
of it. Am I going to say some shit that
you don't like? Of course.
Am I going to say some shit thatgoes against your way of
thinking? Yes.
But that's just me. I'm just going to say it.
That's how I feel. Well, and to feel at the end of
it that you didn't waste your time and, and I think that
that's even in our worst episodes, I feel like at the end
(06:09):
of it, people don't feel like, well, what the hell did I?
Just no, I'm, I'm more concernedwith the entertainment.
I feel like they waste their time.
I feel like, listen, bro, you could spend an hour listening to
these podcasts. You could take up Magic the
Gathering, learn Texas hold'em, become a really good poker
player while you're driving. Yeah, just just just turn around
your life. While you're driving or at work
(06:30):
or like the places that everybody listens to us is not
while they were could have been spending time with their family.
It's when they have like they want to just put on something to
entertain themselves like and drone out whatever they're doing
when I. Worked 45 minutes away in
Greensboro. I used to have my phone on my
knee and then have a movie on because I'd go at 3:00 in the
(06:50):
morning. Nobody on the roads.
Yeah, better be for watching a fucking movie.
Well, I mean, I wouldn't just like staring at a drive.
And I was like, essentially listening to it like you would a
podcast because I'm like, I don't listen to podcasts.
And then I'll turn on YouTube video that's like 45 minutes.
Long and just listen to. It yeah.
And I was just like, oh, maybe Ido like fuck with this, but it's
(07:11):
just not something that I don't know.
I heard podcasting and then I saw all the memes on podcasting
and I formulated my opinion off the memes.
You went with the the. That's consensus.
I think that's how you should doit though.
You should look at the memes, laugh at them, be like ha ha
every fat white guy starts a podcast.
And then I've never heard any ofthese before, but like the memes
that you talk about. Because I'm thinking the sauce
(07:33):
bro and everything I'm I'm. Real but like in the the popular
zeitgeist. Like I was listening to podcast
5-6 years ago when before they became like something that
people. I wish you were the guy in the
podcast then. So we'd be we'd be on Joe
Rogan's show every like 6 monthsor.
Yeah, every other day. So how what?
(07:54):
Have you guys been? Yeah, we we were podcasting when
you start a podcast in which letus be on your podcast.
Now everybody knows us from podcasts.
We're podcasts. Yeah, and I can I can say, hey,
check out this Sealy Tempurpedicmattress and we can make a bunch
of fucking money. Come on.
That's going to be that is goingto be weird when we fucking
really and I got to to. You know I've been in those
factories, right? Have you?
(08:16):
I worked at Legg and Platt whereyou made the mattress stuff, the
stuff that we made the mattress.The one that I worked for, we
made the fabrics for mattresses,so I don't a lot of times I'd
get to deliver like sample rollsand stuff like that.
Isn't that destiny though? Because me and you together,
we're making whole ass mattresses.
We were making the outer all thethings and you were making it
pretty. And that is, I'm telling you
(08:38):
man, it's it's destiny. We have some advice right here,
which is great for Mike and Dylan.
Hate drama? Came in on the Reddit post that
Mike just posted. And that's so in between each
one of these episodes, even though we're recording them
back-to-back, the advice is rolling in.
So thank you. That's why I'm saying Friday's
episode is going to be chock full of advice, which keeps us
more on track. Like we are still able to ramble
(08:59):
and tell life stories and shit like that, but we're also able
to get into the the the drama that everybody loves.
Was that just turned up just a little too far for you?
Yeah, I don't know why I was. Because you turned it up the
last time. Because I'll be sitting
different. Hi Mike, You and Dylan both seem
to have strong, respectful relationships with your wives.
Yeah, you ask our wives about. That yeah, we seen that's that's
(09:22):
how you beat them. OK, You just, you turn on the
good front that you're really good.
I just came. Up with a good.
And you're able to just like. And then what's great is when
she's like, she makes her TikTokvideo about how abusive I am.
It's like nobody believes you. He talked about how nice he was
all the time. I know that we would never be
able to talk them into this, butlike that would be a hilarious
segment. Is the other side where our
(09:43):
wives sit down and actually tellthe real the other side of the
story for. Right, I'm sorry, have you guys
listened to him? I'm pretty sure you should be.
She'd go in, she'd go in on me. I'm also in a relationship that
started with an unplanned pregnancy.
We're in our third year togetherand we definitely have our ups
and downs. I love my partner and he loves
(10:05):
me, but lately our relationship has been more work than fun.
He's in a master's program whileI work full time and the primary
parent to our daughter daughter while I work full time and he
primarily parent and the OK. She works full time and is the
primary parent to their toddler and her teenager from another
(10:26):
relationship. Once again, this whole podcast
could have been named Mike Can'tRead.
We also broke. We're also broke and it's hard
to find time to connect. Have you dealt with anything
similar? How did you get through it?
So I tell y'all, when me and Amygot together, it was rough, bro.
It was rough for a while. You said you're in year 3,
(10:50):
three. So it's rough for a while, man.
And it takes understanding, it takes sacrifice, but it also
does take time. And especially now while you're
doing like a master or he's doing a master's, you're working
full time and being the primary parent, which I don't know how
that's working. I feel like the guy going to
school. Well, I mean, yeah, yeah.
(11:10):
I mean, well, it's it's, it's the balance thing.
And like he's. Obviously they should be helping
like it's yeah, it should be. There should be no primary
parent. It should be teamwork.
Because then what this does is if one parent with one couple,
one person and a couple is carrying too much of the load,
it creates burnout. And that's what you don't want
burnout. You don't want someone who's
unwilling to talk. Who's if if you have a spouse
(11:33):
that keeps saying this is something that's wrong and it's
not something stupid. You know what I'm saying?
Like it's not something like toxic or anything like that.
And it falls on deaf ears. Eventually they just don't
complain about it anymore. They just live with the and
that's where communication dies off and then the relationship
dies off. OK, look, you can go to any
fucking relationship council in the world.
I shit on them, bro OK, I shit on them, which is going to be
(11:56):
shocking in my divorce. But you just, you definitely
have to find time. It's going to be rough right now
especially, I don't know, in a master's program.
I feel like you're not spending it like it's not a full time
job. Well, that's like, I have never
taken my master's or went for, Idon't even have my bachelor's.
I have an associate's degree. But like, it's one of those
(12:18):
things where I can't speak on that part of things, but but if
you're doing literally paying the bills, you're watching the
kids probably doing a lot of thecooking, cleaning and all the
other stuff. Like, is a master's program that
intensive that like, I mean, there's kids that do it.
Like everybody I've known to gettheir masters was also working.
(12:39):
I mean my dad did it but like. I know a lot of teachers and
they're in school and then they go, they're still going to
school for their masters. Yeah.
So to go in with the knowledge that I do know people have
gotten their masters and we're working at that time to say that
you know, they're in the mastersprogram, that does not absolve
you of being a parent. Well, and I think that's with
(13:00):
any relationship is like, you know, there are going to be
times and I think you're overarching point of like
communication, like being intentional about like, because
you're not being bitchy and whiny if you're saying like,
hey, like you got to show up here in this relationship too.
But you have to be mindful abouthow to say that because I
imagine a master's degree less so than the actual time
(13:23):
commitment. It's the stress that comes with
it because you have you're paying to get this education,
not an education. Like you're paying to do this
research and all this other bullshit.
I think my key to that is open communication.
Like my advice from the beginning, though, is like this
whole destiny of, you know, likemeeting the right one, the only
(13:45):
way that person's the right one is if you guys are both like,
we're in this and we're going tomake it through.
You're the right one all. It all it takes is one person to
like fall out of that to for it to fall apart, right?
You both have to want to see this through and it's through
open communication, being understood, being heard, and
(14:06):
then you also hearing them and understanding what they need.
But I feel like right now you'rein a communication like black
hole, like you need to communicate clearly, like what
you expect and how they aren't showing up for the current
relationship and how you guys move through to the next phase.
Because I don't know about you. I've, I've been with my wife for
(14:30):
eight years now and there's beenreally good times and then
there's been really bad times. And then that's followed up by
really good times and really badtimes.
And like at the bad times, you're like, oh shit, is this
going to make it through? Like, are we going to do this?
And then you find a way to communicate and understand what
the other person needs, and it'sback to one of those really good
times. Yeah, me and Amy will be in a
bad period and we'll be able to look at each other and be like,
(14:52):
man, we've not been in a good place in like 2 weeks.
Yes, and we need to start. And usually it does come from me
like, you know, allotting my time the way I shouldn't allot
it. And then I have to, you know,
kind of like step back. And but it is, it is always, it
does come down to communication and, you know, getting a
master's, I've never gotten one.I assume it is very hard seeing
(15:15):
as everybody doesn't do it. So that's that's normally what
gets me to be like, you know, everybody does podcast.
And so I was like easy. So because everybody doesn't,
but you just you have to have the conversations.
You have to once again work as ateam.
If you are coming, him saying, hey, you know, if I'm working
full time and then I get home and I got to cook, clean, clean
up after the kids, give them baths, do all this stuff and
(15:38):
you're just. Going to school.
Yeah, going to school, I mean, there's got to be teamwork
that's happening. And if, like I said, two people
partaking in something takes theload off of someone else so they
don't get burned out. So you're so you're able to, you
know, keep continuing, keep fighting.
But it all starts with conversation.
And I know it sounds lame. Y'all are probably like just
(15:58):
punch him. And that's if you got to wake
him up, if you're freezes to do it, then I say punch him.
Have. You seen those those videos of
like the wife just absolutely smacking the dog shit out of her
husband and then he wakes up outof his sleep to like find her
sleeping? I'm like that once again it
roles reversed. If you were to switch the video
around and it's the guy, straight to jail.
Straight to jail. You go to jail now.
(16:20):
No, you let let's go brother. Let's go brother.
My favorite one and obviously they're skits, but he walks up
behind his wife and goes to justlike slap the hell out of that
and she like ducks down and he smacks the shot out of the back
of her head. Straight to jail.
Like I said, you can, you can. I like to it's like watching
wrestling, man. Like people who watch wrestling,
they have to, like you have to take yourself.
(16:40):
You have to take a step back away from reality to be able to
accept it. That's how I still watch content
because I wouldn't be able to because everything is God damn.
Yeah, it's all fake. Everything is just not real.
Well, yeah, talk, talk, talk to each other.
And I'm not interrupting you. You were interrupting me because
I was already talking. OK.
You're always talking. I am, but that's because I'm the
talker. You are the.
(17:01):
The rational. The rational.
The rational 10 second snippets.You're the guy with a good
haircut. That's you.
You are You bring them to the dance.
That face brings them to the dance.
OK, I serenade. Well, yeah, but like there's
been when you like to like harp on one comment that agrees with
your perspective, there's a bunch of comments that don't
(17:22):
agree with your perspective. That's like, hey, let let Dylan
talk for a second. Or CNS does are very few and far
between and 99% of the comments always agree with me.
We can just accept that Mike is right.
That's my last name too, so it'shard to say that I am not right.
It's in your last name. Technically it shouldn't be my
last name. But one thing that I want to say
(17:43):
though, to just finish up this, this advice is you're in a
chapter like the master's degreewill be done at some point,
hopefully. And so like you guys have to
figure out how to make it through that chapter to get to
the next one. And like, but you can't absolve
him of like showing up in this time.
He's obviously doing something, but you can't just like give
(18:06):
them a free pass because then that could be what your
relationship is after the master's program.
So like, you do have to communicate and be clear on
that, but it is a chapter in your lives.
The master's degree will be done.
What's the next chapter going tobe?
My eyes are watering, man. We got a lot of pollen right
now. You're crying.
I'm not crying. God, I'm just fat.
This is malicious compliance. Yeah, it's a fun subreddit.
(18:30):
What is it about the? So like basically if your boss
comes to you and tells you something like hey, don't clock
in early. You take it to the extreme.
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
All right. She wrote me up for being one
minute late so I stopped covering her entire shift when
she was when she ghosted. I understand.
IT I used to cover for my supervisor all the time.
(18:50):
Last minute call out, staying late, sometimes full double
shifts. Just trying to be helpful.
One morning I clock in at 901 instead of 9:00.
She wrote me up, no heads up, just straight to HR like I was
some kind of problem. So the next time she didn't show
up for her closing shift, which happens a lot.
I just left, left at 5 and told the manager that was my
scheduled time and went home. The place was chaos.
(19:11):
Phone rings, customers waiting, no one to close.
She called later asking why I didn't say and I speak.
I said I figured you just wantedme to be on time.
Funny thing, she hasn't asked meto cover since.
That's great though. Like what a bitch.
Yeah. Like, I mean, if you're late one
time after you've been like pulling some of her weight and
then she wants to call you out on like one minute, like because
(19:32):
one minute, I'm sorry, yes, it is late.
But like, if you're a stellar employee all the rest of the
time, no pass, No, like, okay, this is, this is acceptable.
Like this one time, don't make it a habit, but like one time
and then you're already getting written up for being late.
Like yeah, no. That's a bitch bro.
Like that is that is dastardly. That is dastardly or than a
motherfucker. And it's so nice that she's
(19:54):
like, you know, I just and then.Just walked out, yeah, and left
it in chaos. What just happens just doesn't
show up for a close and shift. This ones near and dear to your
heart, that's what. This one.
My coworker wanted me to stop hogging the forklift.
One joke. Just fucking put me in a box.
You made it way more than one time.
Yeah, because I made it that onetime and then people kept
(20:16):
comments, so I was like, oh, maybe I should make it another
time. And that's where I fucked up.
This person probably knows you. Right, I work in a warehouse and
have a forklift certification. We're short staffed, so I often
hop on the forklift to move heavy pallets.
One guy, Rick, who hates the onemanual labor, said I was hogging
the forklift and told the supervisor I was gatekeeping.
The gatekeeping is just so yeah,it's.
(20:37):
That and what's, what's the gas lighting?
People just use that like it's like, oh, this is a.
Term. I don't think people use the
term gas lighting a lot. I think.
I think you're just overreactingto people using the term gas
lighting. Oh God.
It's like a fucking, it's like aretard ability, man.
That's the opposite of a superhero.
It's just like you. Are a superhero.
To be funny, to just like, oh God, do it right now.
(20:59):
And yeah, it got. Dance Monkey.
Why can I got like like to be a banker or you know what I'm
saying, crypto like make me goodat something that would have
made me money, bro God, and he'slike he's going to be really
good at it. Oh, he's going to make a lot.
No, he's no and. He will be well known.
Somebody down with him. He'll be he.
He will be well known. Yeah, he will be well known.
(21:20):
He will die early. Brooke, my supervisor said let
others do it. You don't need to do any.
Everything all right? I parked a forklift, logged off
the system and left the keys in the designated lock box.
Leave on the forklift. I've never gotten on a forklift
and it's not. There like bro, I'd, I'd go to
the bathroom if I walked all theway to a forklift, got on, it
(21:42):
was like, oh, I got to walk all the way there to the log.
Imagine like that kind of company though that like it's
under lock and key for the forklift like.
That's not even a regulation. Like, that's not even a safety
regulation. If you shouldn't be driving the
forklift, don't get on the fucking forklift.
But the key is going to be thereso that the person that needs to
use it, it's right there. Right.
There's literally no, no safety regulation that says don't leave
the key in. Yeah, that's so crazy.
(22:04):
Rick's moment had arrived. Except, surprise, he actually,
he never actually got certified.He just assumed people would
look the other way When he trieddriving it away, he knocked over
a pallet of cleaning supplies. OSHA got involved, and he got
suspended. Why did OSHA get involved?
The supervisor apologized to me and reinstated me as the only
person allowed on the forklift until they trained someone else.
You wanted to turn, Rick? I hope the paperwork was worth
(22:25):
it. This sounds like an everybody
clap video. I I feel like it was like a
ChatGPT or one. Yeah, this this feels like a
everybody clap post. Where it was like and then I now
I'm the only one allowed. Yes, apparently this company
only has one forklift certified individual, which no.
Honestly the lock box is what made me.
Absolutely. Let's assume that it was like
(22:45):
this is probably written by a computer.
Story does not make sense not computing I.
Thought it was a great topic because it is based.
On they could have the law in like California or somewhere,
but it just all sounds like likeknocked over cleaning supplies.
Who called OSHA supervisor like well since you did that, I'm
calling out who? Well, yeah, like most companies
that I've ever worked for, like if you fuck up, they're like,
how can we? Yeah.
Actually not get OSHA involved. Nobody died.
(23:08):
OK, we're not calling. Did you call OSHA?
Like who called OSHA? You're just on that like did
somebody get hurt with somebody like that happened?
Still there's ways to not get OSHA involved in that.
Someone would pretty much have to die for OSHA to be like, all
right, we're coming to investigate someone have to like
log complaints or something likethat.
So this does feel like a just itdid.
It didn't happen, sorry. I just wanted to get you back in
(23:30):
your TikTok early days feel thisis the.
This is the unapologetic cuz I'mjust like Bros fake shut up,
shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.
Now I'm gonna find this person. We're gonna IP track them and
just like Liam Neeson. Got a particular set of?
Skills. I have a particular set of
skills you. Correct me on the last one, so
now I know what what to say. It might be I have a specific
(23:52):
set of skills. I have no idea, I haven't
watched it in years so you get it.
I only watched the first one. DMCA strike or whatever it is.
I'm just going to look up what he says.
See, I'm like old school Netflix, back when they used to
send out DVDs. That's when I signed up, before
they ever had a streaming platform.
I remember when they first launched the streaming.
That was epic. And I'm going to do the whole
(24:14):
voice because I don't know who you are and I can't do a Liam
Neeson. That one's rough.
I don't know what you want. If you were looking for ransom
money, I can tell you I don't have.
Or if you're looking for ransom,I can tell you I don't have
money. But what I do have are a very
particular set of skills, skillsI have acquired over a very long
career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
(24:37):
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it.
I will not look for you. I will not perceive you.
I'm just going to do like a fucking Pirates of the
Caribbean. Well, if you don't, I will look
for you. I will find you and I will kill
you. Me.
I just be like, can you just give her back?
Why you gotta take her? I don't have any money so like
what I. Don't have money and also I just
I don't have any way to get her back.
(24:58):
Bro and I really do love her. She's.
Good luck. Just fucking fucking Russians
man. Always taking kids, according to
Liam Neeson. According to you know.
America is the number one consumer of child pornography.
Are they? Yes.
Yeah, by a lot. Pyres, man.
(25:18):
What is a pyre? Can you explain that and give?
The It's like a bundle of sticksthat we could gather, put them
all in a circle, throw some child molesters on it, and then
cover it with grits. Oh, I thought this was a song
that you'd heard before, but no,that's a great little Jingle
that yeah, that could be the Jingle.
Like always on the wrong with circle, but there's nothing.
No. Burkle.
(25:39):
Hey, Eminem, right? Eminem would have got it.
He would have freeze. He would have somehow.
Got surgical to circle and he'd be like surgical and then he'd
be like all right, fuck you. No, you're right.
He's not even saying the words. On the other hand, neither do
black people. Like everybody uses the slang to
have the rhymes fit. Because honestly, how boring or
(26:00):
how just not fitting is a rap song kind of sound?
Well, and it sounds like a like a kids nursery rhyme.
If you're like, oh, you know, rhyming all the words
specifically with another word. But like when you get creative
to make a word sound like the word that you're going to rhyme
it to, like then it's creative and you're like, oh, look at
that. And it's the novelty of it.
And the N word fits everywhere too to make a wrap like flow
(26:21):
better fit better. If you just need a filler word.
Great word. White people need a word.
The ones that I feel are lazy iswhen that is the rhyming word
and not only did you like it like.
Blank then that word and then blank then that word to like.
And and like they never rhyme because they just say the word
and it's like, that's not like you just continued to say the
(26:43):
same word at the end for every single line.
So like. What's a popular rap song from
when we were growing up? Name 1.
I mean, I, I am all like Tupac from back in the day, so.
I don't want to do Tupac becausehe was.
You want Snoop Dogg? Doctor Dre.
We are obviously from different times.
All right, we're going to do in the club, sorry, in duck club
(27:07):
and I'm going to I'm going to show you why right now rap songs
must be in slang because I'm a read you the lyrics.
If I was a normal person. All right, go, go.
What's a good way to turn shawty?
Go Shorty, it's your birthday. We're going to party like it is
(27:30):
your birthday. We are going to sit Bacardi like
it is your birthday and you knowwe do not give a fuck because it
is not your birthday. All right, you can find me in
the club bottle full of bub. Look Mama, I got the X.
If you're into taking drugs, I am not into having sex.
(27:51):
I am into making love, so come give me a hug.
If you are into getting rubbed, you can find me in the club.
Wow. And just it just.
What's your point that you're getting up here?
That you have to use Slanger. It sounds like that, and it's
just like you can't do it even if you'd like tried to.
When I pull up out front, you see the Mercedes-Benz on Dubs,
huh? I was saying the words but.
(28:13):
Oh, OK, yeah, I'm not a fan of. 50.
Or in the club I liked it was a window shopper couple songs off
of Massacre. Just wasn't my thing.
But what's your point though? Like you're you're saying, I'm
just saying it doesn't. Sound as funny if I ain't in
slang. And also white people need a N
(28:34):
White people need an N word. They need a word that they can
use that just everywhere you putit, it can cuz look, it's just
it's a very it's like the word fuck at this point.
Yeah, it encompasses a lot of utility.
Yeah. So if you use a word, it if you
use a word as utility and then it can't be racist.
I'm not one of those people. Yeah, fuck.
(28:54):
We got some comments though on this one.
I checked my phone on the Reddit.
No, on the podcast. I'm a real time read.
Some people's fucking look at this.
That's the world. I'm just going to say Mike is
right, Dylan, you're. I did.
Hear you say you were going to put down your daughter.
Yeah, that one's still like, I don't understand it.
(29:16):
That keeps Dylan up at night. Well it's a fucked up thing to
say. So like it's one of those things
where like, and I listen back toit, it definitely says.
Athena. This is from Athena, she says.
Where are all the dark episodes that y'all keep mentioning?
Are they wrapped into these somewhere else?
No, they are completely. They're darn because we never
posted them and then someone waslike oh, start a Patreon and put
(29:38):
I'm not starting a Patreon bro. That's, I mean, I think it would
be a good thing, but it's one ofthose things.
Where it's another, another place, so you need to go here
and then we got to keep track ofit and then I don't know.
I think the hard thing is, is like, we'd rather just put it
out so that people have access to.
It yeah, I don't want to be anything behind paywall.
I understand why people do that and like, honestly, we'd be
(30:01):
better off if we did that. Because don't catch the word I
said. Gatekeeping.
I did, yeah. I'm not the comedian, so I don't
pick on those things and then have a joke for it.
I think honestly, it would be great for us to have one.
However, that's not really what we would like to do.
Like we'd rather you just have this and not have to pay for it.
(30:24):
Do you know what is a freeway tohelp out The podcast though,
share it, telling your friends about it.
Word of mouth just saying hey, you know, going to a mountain
top and screaming. You know Mike and Dylan hate
drama 2 daddy judgment back. That is the best way because
it's free and if you're watchingthis on YouTube, just fucking
subscribe. We are like, yeah, 90 away. 99
(30:44):
problems. Yeah, 90 away from hitting the
follower threshold to get monetized even though the videos
are only going to make like $10 piece still, hey, it's $10.
I'd suck a Dick for that. Just the, the best thing is
just, it's just word of mouth. Behind the Denny's, June 15th.
Oh yeah, June 15th. We are closing in on June 15th,
6:00 PM Eastern Standard Time. Denny's in Thomasville, NC.
(31:07):
I think we're going to. This has actually been a quick
episode. You're going to wrap it.
Yeah, I'm all wrap it. Yeah, this is a 30 minute
episode. The next one we'll make extra
long for them. We'll make Fridays.
If we have enough advice and everything for tomorrow.
I think we will, and it's going.To be a bear, we'll.
Give them AI. Guess that would be a good way
to just put a cherry on top of the week and watch nobody has
(31:28):
submitted any advice. Then we got to like, it's like
the two hour fucking Dylan and Michael struggle.
Yeah, just as a struggle. So it's crazy how silver is a
color, right? Because it's not like what
primary colors make that they'remaking shit up now.
And it's just like what? And.
You guys like rambling, Here it comes.
Remember, guys, listen yesterday, make sure to check
(31:51):
out Two Daddies, Judge and Baddies where the other side has
debuted at this point. Yes, it will have debuted.
I really think that's what's going to set us apart from all
the other and all the asshole creators.
And it does give Mike freedom tolike kind of add his little
nutmeg on it. Check out the subreddit M ADHD
where we kinda. I just asked a question on there
(32:11):
today and. Give us a call.
Leave a. Mikeandeleon.com Yep, leave a
You can leave a voicemail or leave.
A. A submission.
Submission either one and we will see you guys next time.
Later.
Bear never bow down. Mike and Dylan hate drama, but
the Bow Wow. Oh, we're rolling.
We're rolling. I'm getting something.
To drink, Dylan's getting something to drink and I'm going
to welcome you guys to another episode of Mike and Dylan Hate.
Oh, there we go, he yelled from the back.
I don't know if y'all can hear it.
Hate drama where we honestly, wejust we give some advice, we
(00:22):
talk about life, we talk about, I don't know, just whatever the
fuck Mike gets hyper fixated on and then he regrets talking
about. So welcome back guys.
Today we have some advice. We have two Reddit things to go
about now. Tomorrow's episode, which is the
last day in the thank you guys, we're posting five days a week.
(00:43):
We'll actually be able to have advice because we're actually
going to wait in a good amount of days in between to to record
Fridays episode. So we will have that advice and
probably going forward, I think each episode will have plenty of
advice for that are from people so we can actually fucking do
what the podcast is supposed to do.
Well, yeah, I think, I think oneof the things is, is in order to
(01:06):
complete Mike's promise of five in a week, we have to batch some
of these to. So technically we're on Podcast
3 for the day, but ultimately it's it's one of those things
where we're going to be ahead ofthe game now.
And so we'll be we'll be good. But I wanted to shout out a
situation that I just ran acrossin the preparation of this
(01:28):
episode. Specifically, five days ago,
somebody posted about us on the Smosh Reddit.
So actually can't shout out we do not condone, we do not
condone posting about us and other people's reddits.
Like in podcasting, that's fine.Or in like mutual spaces, but
like on their direct podcast I don't.
I mean, I'm not saying everybody, but I'm just saying
(01:50):
thank you for being a listener and he basic they I don't know
whether it's a guy or a girl, but like they had just mentioned
like hey, does has anybody seen this new?
Podcast that is a hell of dope super nice gesture to do man.
That is a crazy. That's what that's that's wild
because then goes like you see these guys they're called as
unapologetic Yeah, that's right.Fuck you.
(02:12):
We're giving you real advice. We don't look, we're not here to
obviously make everybody happy. You can suck my God damn bitch.
You've seen my last three episodes.
Have you seen the last three episodes?
You can suck my Dick before I try to make everybody fucking
happy. So our takes are going that cuz
that when we start reading the Idid get goofy with a couple of
(02:33):
them on TikTok. Other than that they were like
real fucking takes. Like it's like how a human would
look at the situation. I'm not going to be scared to
say something I'm not going to if you know, if I have a take
that some people would call something sexist or if I would
have, you know, just a take thatgoes against like what somebody
(02:56):
thinks is like how you should goabout that.
Fuck that shit. I'm going I'm given the fucking
advice. And then Dylan can kind of do
all the patching things up and let's let's let's forget about
what Mike just said. Give real.
Only disclaimers when he promotes violence, which is
every time, but no. And I I think the thing to, to
(03:18):
focus on with this is like it's,it's cool that somebody actually
just saw it and was like, hey, is anybody else interested?
Like has anybody else seen this?Has anybody else like viewed
this episode? So I'm not condoning, I'm not
promoting, you know, posting us in Smosh or too hot takes
reddits. But like it was it was just cool
in the search to be like, oh, somebody, somebody is that's
(03:40):
watching actually. Likes us that much to say.
Hey people from this other subreddit, which ones got?
Downvoted to. All hell bro like y'all we ain't
trying to start wars OK because I will smite not just get out of
the fuck I'll fuck them up. I am a I'm great at coming up
with jokes. I am.
That is something I do like to laud myself with.
(04:01):
OK, sometimes I do be like play an expert when I should not be
playing an expert. I'll be given a take that I
think is above my knowledge of the subject.
I do that sometimes. I'm also a man.
Not to say I don't have enough knowledge on something to speak
on it. You're just supposed to have
opinions that are facts in your mind and you just die on that
(04:23):
hill. Then I'll tell you that I'm I'm
bro, I'm in the sauce. I read a fuck ton for a dunga.
I do be reading a lot so I do know a lot about things.
And he doesn't stumble in his head at all, but just when he's
trying to read it on a piece of paper, then the stumbles come
out. But in his head it's fluent and.
Clear then I have to like keep up with the words and sometimes
in words get kind of big and they're kind of hard so it does
(04:45):
it does make it quite difficult That was a really cool gesture
we do have the other side that is going to start debuting on
the. It already has, according to
this podcast. Yeah.
So yesterday we are debuting which you guys got the first
glimpse of the other side. And this is also a place where
we can kind of talk about the things that go on on that show.
So we don't have to ramble too much and fucking we can get down
(05:06):
to, you know, doing a quick story, doing some rambling and
really keeping that concise as possible for people that but
they but here you get kind of like the background stuff.
They know if they've heard any of this week's podcasts.
Yeah, yeah, it's, it's definitely been an experience.
Tomorrow's podcast will be back to business as usual where we
(05:27):
have the, you know, advice and have some calculated structure,
You know, especially now coming out with the voicemail too.
I think that's really going to help Mike and Dylan that that's
the one thing I've always wantedwith Mike and Dylan, though, is
it is a place where we can be free and have conversations and
ramble as long as we fucking want to.
But I do want a little bit of structure because at the end of
(05:47):
the day, I do care about someoneturning on a podcast and having
fun from the time that they turnit on to the time they get off
of it. Am I going to say some shit that
you don't like? Of course.
Am I going to say some shit thatgoes against your way of
thinking? Yes.
But that's just me. I'm just going to say it.
That's how I feel. Well, and to feel at the end of
it that you didn't waste your time and, and I think that
that's even in our worst episodes, I feel like at the end
(06:09):
of it, people don't feel like, well, what the hell did I?
Just no, I'm, I'm more concernedwith the entertainment.
I feel like they waste their time.
I feel like, listen, bro, you could spend an hour listening to
these podcasts. You could take up Magic the
Gathering, learn Texas hold'em, become a really good poker
player while you're driving. Yeah, just just just turn around
your life. While you're driving or at work
(06:30):
or like the places that everybody listens to us is not
while they were could have been spending time with their family.
It's when they have like they want to just put on something to
entertain themselves like and drone out whatever they're doing
when I. Worked 45 minutes away in
Greensboro. I used to have my phone on my
knee and then have a movie on because I'd go at 3:00 in the
(06:50):
morning. Nobody on the roads.
Yeah, better be for watching a fucking movie.
Well, I mean, I wouldn't just like staring at a drive.
And I was like, essentially listening to it like you would a
podcast because I'm like, I don't listen to podcasts.
And then I'll turn on YouTube video that's like 45 minutes.
Long and just listen to. It yeah.
And I was just like, oh, maybe Ido like fuck with this, but it's
(07:11):
just not something that I don't know.
I heard podcasting and then I saw all the memes on podcasting
and I formulated my opinion off the memes.
You went with the the. That's consensus.
I think that's how you should doit though.
You should look at the memes, laugh at them, be like ha ha
every fat white guy starts a podcast.
And then I've never heard any ofthese before, but like the memes
that you talk about. Because I'm thinking the sauce
(07:33):
bro and everything I'm I'm. Real but like in the the popular
zeitgeist. Like I was listening to podcast
5-6 years ago when before they became like something that
people. I wish you were the guy in the
podcast then. So we'd be we'd be on Joe
Rogan's show every like 6 monthsor.
Yeah, every other day. So how what?
(07:54):
Have you guys been? Yeah, we we were podcasting when
you start a podcast in which letus be on your podcast.
Now everybody knows us from podcasts.
We're podcasts. Yeah, and I can I can say, hey,
check out this Sealy Tempurpedicmattress and we can make a bunch
of fucking money. Come on.
That's going to be that is goingto be weird when we fucking
really and I got to to. You know I've been in those
factories, right? Have you?
(08:16):
I worked at Legg and Platt whereyou made the mattress stuff, the
stuff that we made the mattress.The one that I worked for, we
made the fabrics for mattresses,so I don't a lot of times I'd
get to deliver like sample rollsand stuff like that.
Isn't that destiny though? Because me and you together,
we're making whole ass mattresses.
We were making the outer all thethings and you were making it
pretty. And that is, I'm telling you
(08:38):
man, it's it's destiny. We have some advice right here,
which is great for Mike and Dylan.
Hate drama? Came in on the Reddit post that
Mike just posted. And that's so in between each
one of these episodes, even though we're recording them
back-to-back, the advice is rolling in.
So thank you. That's why I'm saying Friday's
episode is going to be chock full of advice, which keeps us
more on track. Like we are still able to ramble
(08:59):
and tell life stories and shit like that, but we're also able
to get into the the the drama that everybody loves.
Was that just turned up just a little too far for you?
Yeah, I don't know why I was. Because you turned it up the
last time. Because I'll be sitting
different. Hi Mike, You and Dylan both seem
to have strong, respectful relationships with your wives.
Yeah, you ask our wives about. That yeah, we seen that's that's
(09:22):
how you beat them. OK, You just, you turn on the
good front that you're really good.
I just came. Up with a good.
And you're able to just like. And then what's great is when
she's like, she makes her TikTokvideo about how abusive I am.
It's like nobody believes you. He talked about how nice he was
all the time. I know that we would never be
able to talk them into this, butlike that would be a hilarious
segment. Is the other side where our
(09:43):
wives sit down and actually tellthe real the other side of the
story for. Right, I'm sorry, have you guys
listened to him? I'm pretty sure you should be.
She'd go in, she'd go in on me. I'm also in a relationship that
started with an unplanned pregnancy.
We're in our third year togetherand we definitely have our ups
and downs. I love my partner and he loves
(10:05):
me, but lately our relationship has been more work than fun.
He's in a master's program whileI work full time and the primary
parent to our daughter daughter while I work full time and he
primarily parent and the OK. She works full time and is the
primary parent to their toddler and her teenager from another
(10:26):
relationship. Once again, this whole podcast
could have been named Mike Can'tRead.
We also broke. We're also broke and it's hard
to find time to connect. Have you dealt with anything
similar? How did you get through it?
So I tell y'all, when me and Amygot together, it was rough, bro.
It was rough for a while. You said you're in year 3,
(10:50):
three. So it's rough for a while, man.
And it takes understanding, it takes sacrifice, but it also
does take time. And especially now while you're
doing like a master or he's doing a master's, you're working
full time and being the primary parent, which I don't know how
that's working. I feel like the guy going to
school. Well, I mean, yeah, yeah.
(11:10):
I mean, well, it's it's, it's the balance thing.
And like he's. Obviously they should be helping
like it's yeah, it should be. There should be no primary
parent. It should be teamwork.
Because then what this does is if one parent with one couple,
one person and a couple is carrying too much of the load,
it creates burnout. And that's what you don't want
burnout. You don't want someone who's
unwilling to talk. Who's if if you have a spouse
(11:33):
that keeps saying this is something that's wrong and it's
not something stupid. You know what I'm saying?
Like it's not something like toxic or anything like that.
And it falls on deaf ears. Eventually they just don't
complain about it anymore. They just live with the and
that's where communication dies off and then the relationship
dies off. OK, look, you can go to any
fucking relationship council in the world.
I shit on them, bro OK, I shit on them, which is going to be
(11:56):
shocking in my divorce. But you just, you definitely
have to find time. It's going to be rough right now
especially, I don't know, in a master's program.
I feel like you're not spending it like it's not a full time
job. Well, that's like, I have never
taken my master's or went for, Idon't even have my bachelor's.
I have an associate's degree. But like, it's one of those
(12:18):
things where I can't speak on that part of things, but but if
you're doing literally paying the bills, you're watching the
kids probably doing a lot of thecooking, cleaning and all the
other stuff. Like, is a master's program that
intensive that like, I mean, there's kids that do it.
Like everybody I've known to gettheir masters was also working.
(12:39):
I mean my dad did it but like. I know a lot of teachers and
they're in school and then they go, they're still going to
school for their masters. Yeah.
So to go in with the knowledge that I do know people have
gotten their masters and we're working at that time to say that
you know, they're in the mastersprogram, that does not absolve
you of being a parent. Well, and I think that's with
(13:00):
any relationship is like, you know, there are going to be
times and I think you're overarching point of like
communication, like being intentional about like, because
you're not being bitchy and whiny if you're saying like,
hey, like you got to show up here in this relationship too.
But you have to be mindful abouthow to say that because I
imagine a master's degree less so than the actual time
(13:23):
commitment. It's the stress that comes with
it because you have you're paying to get this education,
not an education. Like you're paying to do this
research and all this other bullshit.
I think my key to that is open communication.
Like my advice from the beginning, though, is like this
whole destiny of, you know, likemeeting the right one, the only
(13:45):
way that person's the right one is if you guys are both like,
we're in this and we're going tomake it through.
You're the right one all. It all it takes is one person to
like fall out of that to for it to fall apart, right?
You both have to want to see this through and it's through
open communication, being understood, being heard, and
(14:06):
then you also hearing them and understanding what they need.
But I feel like right now you'rein a communication like black
hole, like you need to communicate clearly, like what
you expect and how they aren't showing up for the current
relationship and how you guys move through to the next phase.
Because I don't know about you. I've, I've been with my wife for
(14:30):
eight years now and there's beenreally good times and then
there's been really bad times. And then that's followed up by
really good times and really badtimes.
And like at the bad times, you're like, oh shit, is this
going to make it through? Like, are we going to do this?
And then you find a way to communicate and understand what
the other person needs, and it'sback to one of those really good
times. Yeah, me and Amy will be in a
bad period and we'll be able to look at each other and be like,
(14:52):
man, we've not been in a good place in like 2 weeks.
Yes, and we need to start. And usually it does come from me
like, you know, allotting my time the way I shouldn't allot
it. And then I have to, you know,
kind of like step back. And but it is, it is always, it
does come down to communication and, you know, getting a
master's, I've never gotten one.I assume it is very hard seeing
(15:15):
as everybody doesn't do it. So that's that's normally what
gets me to be like, you know, everybody does podcast.
And so I was like easy. So because everybody doesn't,
but you just you have to have the conversations.
You have to once again work as ateam.
If you are coming, him saying, hey, you know, if I'm working
full time and then I get home and I got to cook, clean, clean
up after the kids, give them baths, do all this stuff and
(15:38):
you're just. Going to school.
Yeah, going to school, I mean, there's got to be teamwork
that's happening. And if, like I said, two people
partaking in something takes theload off of someone else so they
don't get burned out. So you're so you're able to, you
know, keep continuing, keep fighting.
But it all starts with conversation.
And I know it sounds lame. Y'all are probably like just
(15:58):
punch him. And that's if you got to wake
him up, if you're freezes to do it, then I say punch him.
Have. You seen those those videos of
like the wife just absolutely smacking the dog shit out of her
husband and then he wakes up outof his sleep to like find her
sleeping? I'm like that once again it
roles reversed. If you were to switch the video
around and it's the guy, straight to jail.
Straight to jail. You go to jail now.
(16:20):
No, you let let's go brother. Let's go brother.
My favorite one and obviously they're skits, but he walks up
behind his wife and goes to justlike slap the hell out of that
and she like ducks down and he smacks the shot out of the back
of her head. Straight to jail.
Like I said, you can, you can. I like to it's like watching
wrestling, man. Like people who watch wrestling,
they have to, like you have to take yourself.
(16:40):
You have to take a step back away from reality to be able to
accept it. That's how I still watch content
because I wouldn't be able to because everything is God damn.
Yeah, it's all fake. Everything is just not real.
Well, yeah, talk, talk, talk to each other.
And I'm not interrupting you. You were interrupting me because
I was already talking. OK.
You're always talking. I am, but that's because I'm the
talker. You are the.
(17:01):
The rational. The rational.
The rational 10 second snippets.You're the guy with a good
haircut. That's you.
You are You bring them to the dance.
That face brings them to the dance.
OK, I serenade. Well, yeah, but like there's
been when you like to like harp on one comment that agrees with
your perspective, there's a bunch of comments that don't
(17:22):
agree with your perspective. That's like, hey, let let Dylan
talk for a second. Or CNS does are very few and far
between and 99% of the comments always agree with me.
We can just accept that Mike is right.
That's my last name too, so it'shard to say that I am not right.
It's in your last name. Technically it shouldn't be my
last name. But one thing that I want to say
(17:43):
though, to just finish up this, this advice is you're in a
chapter like the master's degreewill be done at some point,
hopefully. And so like you guys have to
figure out how to make it through that chapter to get to
the next one. And like, but you can't absolve
him of like showing up in this time.
He's obviously doing something, but you can't just like give
(18:06):
them a free pass because then that could be what your
relationship is after the master's program.
So like, you do have to communicate and be clear on
that, but it is a chapter in your lives.
The master's degree will be done.
What's the next chapter going tobe?
My eyes are watering, man. We got a lot of pollen right
now. You're crying.
I'm not crying. God, I'm just fat.
This is malicious compliance. Yeah, it's a fun subreddit.
(18:30):
What is it about the? So like basically if your boss
comes to you and tells you something like hey, don't clock
in early. You take it to the extreme.
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
All right. She wrote me up for being one
minute late so I stopped covering her entire shift when
she was when she ghosted. I understand.
IT I used to cover for my supervisor all the time.
(18:50):
Last minute call out, staying late, sometimes full double
shifts. Just trying to be helpful.
One morning I clock in at 901 instead of 9:00.
She wrote me up, no heads up, just straight to HR like I was
some kind of problem. So the next time she didn't show
up for her closing shift, which happens a lot.
I just left, left at 5 and told the manager that was my
scheduled time and went home. The place was chaos.
(19:11):
Phone rings, customers waiting, no one to close.
She called later asking why I didn't say and I speak.
I said I figured you just wantedme to be on time.
Funny thing, she hasn't asked meto cover since.
That's great though. Like what a bitch.
Yeah. Like, I mean, if you're late one
time after you've been like pulling some of her weight and
then she wants to call you out on like one minute, like because
(19:32):
one minute, I'm sorry, yes, it is late.
But like, if you're a stellar employee all the rest of the
time, no pass, No, like, okay, this is, this is acceptable.
Like this one time, don't make it a habit, but like one time
and then you're already getting written up for being late.
Like yeah, no. That's a bitch bro.
Like that is that is dastardly. That is dastardly or than a
motherfucker. And it's so nice that she's
(19:54):
like, you know, I just and then.Just walked out, yeah, and left
it in chaos. What just happens just doesn't
show up for a close and shift. This ones near and dear to your
heart, that's what. This one.
My coworker wanted me to stop hogging the forklift.
One joke. Just fucking put me in a box.
You made it way more than one time.
Yeah, because I made it that onetime and then people kept
(20:16):
comments, so I was like, oh, maybe I should make it another
time. And that's where I fucked up.
This person probably knows you. Right, I work in a warehouse and
have a forklift certification. We're short staffed, so I often
hop on the forklift to move heavy pallets.
One guy, Rick, who hates the onemanual labor, said I was hogging
the forklift and told the supervisor I was gatekeeping.
The gatekeeping is just so yeah,it's.
(20:37):
That and what's, what's the gas lighting?
People just use that like it's like, oh, this is a.
Term. I don't think people use the
term gas lighting a lot. I think.
I think you're just overreactingto people using the term gas
lighting. Oh God.
It's like a fucking, it's like aretard ability, man.
That's the opposite of a superhero.
It's just like you. Are a superhero.
To be funny, to just like, oh God, do it right now.
(20:59):
And yeah, it got. Dance Monkey.
Why can I got like like to be a banker or you know what I'm
saying, crypto like make me goodat something that would have
made me money, bro God, and he'slike he's going to be really
good at it. Oh, he's going to make a lot.
No, he's no and. He will be well known.
Somebody down with him. He'll be he.
He will be well known. Yeah, he will be well known.
(21:20):
He will die early. Brooke, my supervisor said let
others do it. You don't need to do any.
Everything all right? I parked a forklift, logged off
the system and left the keys in the designated lock box.
Leave on the forklift. I've never gotten on a forklift
and it's not. There like bro, I'd, I'd go to
the bathroom if I walked all theway to a forklift, got on, it
(21:42):
was like, oh, I got to walk all the way there to the log.
Imagine like that kind of company though that like it's
under lock and key for the forklift like.
That's not even a regulation. Like, that's not even a safety
regulation. If you shouldn't be driving the
forklift, don't get on the fucking forklift.
But the key is going to be thereso that the person that needs to
use it, it's right there. Right.
There's literally no, no safety regulation that says don't leave
the key in. Yeah, that's so crazy.
(22:04):
Rick's moment had arrived. Except, surprise, he actually,
he never actually got certified.He just assumed people would
look the other way When he trieddriving it away, he knocked over
a pallet of cleaning supplies. OSHA got involved, and he got
suspended. Why did OSHA get involved?
The supervisor apologized to me and reinstated me as the only
person allowed on the forklift until they trained someone else.
You wanted to turn, Rick? I hope the paperwork was worth
(22:25):
it. This sounds like an everybody
clap video. I I feel like it was like a
ChatGPT or one. Yeah, this this feels like a
everybody clap post. Where it was like and then I now
I'm the only one allowed. Yes, apparently this company
only has one forklift certified individual, which no.
Honestly the lock box is what made me.
Absolutely. Let's assume that it was like
(22:45):
this is probably written by a computer.
Story does not make sense not computing I.
Thought it was a great topic because it is based.
On they could have the law in like California or somewhere,
but it just all sounds like likeknocked over cleaning supplies.
Who called OSHA supervisor like well since you did that, I'm
calling out who? Well, yeah, like most companies
that I've ever worked for, like if you fuck up, they're like,
how can we? Yeah.
Actually not get OSHA involved. Nobody died.
(23:08):
OK, we're not calling. Did you call OSHA?
Like who called OSHA? You're just on that like did
somebody get hurt with somebody like that happened?
Still there's ways to not get OSHA involved in that.
Someone would pretty much have to die for OSHA to be like, all
right, we're coming to investigate someone have to like
log complaints or something likethat.
So this does feel like a just itdid.
It didn't happen, sorry. I just wanted to get you back in
(23:30):
your TikTok early days feel thisis the.
This is the unapologetic cuz I'mjust like Bros fake shut up,
shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up.
Now I'm gonna find this person. We're gonna IP track them and
just like Liam Neeson. Got a particular set of?
Skills. I have a particular set of
skills you. Correct me on the last one, so
now I know what what to say. It might be I have a specific
(23:52):
set of skills. I have no idea, I haven't
watched it in years so you get it.
I only watched the first one. DMCA strike or whatever it is.
I'm just going to look up what he says.
See, I'm like old school Netflix, back when they used to
send out DVDs. That's when I signed up, before
they ever had a streaming platform.
I remember when they first launched the streaming.
That was epic. And I'm going to do the whole
(24:14):
voice because I don't know who you are and I can't do a Liam
Neeson. That one's rough.
I don't know what you want. If you were looking for ransom
money, I can tell you I don't have.
Or if you're looking for ransom,I can tell you I don't have
money. But what I do have are a very
particular set of skills, skillsI have acquired over a very long
career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
(24:37):
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it.
I will not look for you. I will not perceive you.
I'm just going to do like a fucking Pirates of the
Caribbean. Well, if you don't, I will look
for you. I will find you and I will kill
you. Me.
I just be like, can you just give her back?
Why you gotta take her? I don't have any money so like
what I. Don't have money and also I just
I don't have any way to get her back.
(24:58):
Bro and I really do love her. She's.
Good luck. Just fucking fucking Russians
man. Always taking kids, according to
Liam Neeson. According to you know.
America is the number one consumer of child pornography.
Are they? Yes.
Yeah, by a lot. Pyres, man.
(25:18):
What is a pyre? Can you explain that and give?
The It's like a bundle of sticksthat we could gather, put them
all in a circle, throw some child molesters on it, and then
cover it with grits. Oh, I thought this was a song
that you'd heard before, but no,that's a great little Jingle
that yeah, that could be the Jingle.
Like always on the wrong with circle, but there's nothing.
No. Burkle.
(25:39):
Hey, Eminem, right? Eminem would have got it.
He would have freeze. He would have somehow.
Got surgical to circle and he'd be like surgical and then he'd
be like all right, fuck you. No, you're right.
He's not even saying the words. On the other hand, neither do
black people. Like everybody uses the slang to
have the rhymes fit. Because honestly, how boring or
(26:00):
how just not fitting is a rap song kind of sound?
Well, and it sounds like a like a kids nursery rhyme.
If you're like, oh, you know, rhyming all the words
specifically with another word. But like when you get creative
to make a word sound like the word that you're going to rhyme
it to, like then it's creative and you're like, oh, look at
that. And it's the novelty of it.
And the N word fits everywhere too to make a wrap like flow
(26:21):
better fit better. If you just need a filler word.
Great word. White people need a word.
The ones that I feel are lazy iswhen that is the rhyming word
and not only did you like it like.
Blank then that word and then blank then that word to like.
And and like they never rhyme because they just say the word
and it's like, that's not like you just continued to say the
(26:43):
same word at the end for every single line.
So like. What's a popular rap song from
when we were growing up? Name 1.
I mean, I, I am all like Tupac from back in the day, so.
I don't want to do Tupac becausehe was.
You want Snoop Dogg? Doctor Dre.
We are obviously from different times.
All right, we're going to do in the club, sorry, in duck club
(27:07):
and I'm going to I'm going to show you why right now rap songs
must be in slang because I'm a read you the lyrics.
If I was a normal person. All right, go, go.
What's a good way to turn shawty?
Go Shorty, it's your birthday. We're going to party like it is
(27:30):
your birthday. We are going to sit Bacardi like
it is your birthday and you knowwe do not give a fuck because it
is not your birthday. All right, you can find me in
the club bottle full of bub. Look Mama, I got the X.
If you're into taking drugs, I am not into having sex.
(27:51):
I am into making love, so come give me a hug.
If you are into getting rubbed, you can find me in the club.
Wow. And just it just.
What's your point that you're getting up here?
That you have to use Slanger. It sounds like that, and it's
just like you can't do it even if you'd like tried to.
When I pull up out front, you see the Mercedes-Benz on Dubs,
huh? I was saying the words but.
(28:13):
Oh, OK, yeah, I'm not a fan of. 50.
Or in the club I liked it was a window shopper couple songs off
of Massacre. Just wasn't my thing.
But what's your point though? Like you're you're saying, I'm
just saying it doesn't. Sound as funny if I ain't in
slang. And also white people need a N
(28:34):
White people need an N word. They need a word that they can
use that just everywhere you putit, it can cuz look, it's just
it's a very it's like the word fuck at this point.
Yeah, it encompasses a lot of utility.
Yeah. So if you use a word, it if you
use a word as utility and then it can't be racist.
I'm not one of those people. Yeah, fuck.
(28:54):
We got some comments though on this one.
I checked my phone on the Reddit.
No, on the podcast. I'm a real time read.
Some people's fucking look at this.
That's the world. I'm just going to say Mike is
right, Dylan, you're. I did.
Hear you say you were going to put down your daughter.
Yeah, that one's still like, I don't understand it.
(29:16):
That keeps Dylan up at night. Well it's a fucked up thing to
say. So like it's one of those things
where like, and I listen back toit, it definitely says.
Athena. This is from Athena, she says.
Where are all the dark episodes that y'all keep mentioning?
Are they wrapped into these somewhere else?
No, they are completely. They're darn because we never
posted them and then someone waslike oh, start a Patreon and put
(29:38):
I'm not starting a Patreon bro. That's, I mean, I think it would
be a good thing, but it's one ofthose things.
Where it's another, another place, so you need to go here
and then we got to keep track ofit and then I don't know.
I think the hard thing is, is like, we'd rather just put it
out so that people have access to.
It yeah, I don't want to be anything behind paywall.
I understand why people do that and like, honestly, we'd be
(30:01):
better off if we did that. Because don't catch the word I
said. Gatekeeping.
I did, yeah. I'm not the comedian, so I don't
pick on those things and then have a joke for it.
I think honestly, it would be great for us to have one.
However, that's not really what we would like to do.
Like we'd rather you just have this and not have to pay for it.
(30:24):
Do you know what is a freeway tohelp out The podcast though,
share it, telling your friends about it.
Word of mouth just saying hey, you know, going to a mountain
top and screaming. You know Mike and Dylan hate
drama 2 daddy judgment back. That is the best way because
it's free and if you're watchingthis on YouTube, just fucking
subscribe. We are like, yeah, 90 away. 99
(30:44):
problems. Yeah, 90 away from hitting the
follower threshold to get monetized even though the videos
are only going to make like $10 piece still, hey, it's $10.
I'd suck a Dick for that. Just the, the best thing is
just, it's just word of mouth. Behind the Denny's, June 15th.
Oh yeah, June 15th. We are closing in on June 15th,
6:00 PM Eastern Standard Time. Denny's in Thomasville, NC.
(31:07):
I think we're going to. This has actually been a quick
episode. You're going to wrap it.
Yeah, I'm all wrap it. Yeah, this is a 30 minute
episode. The next one we'll make extra
long for them. We'll make Fridays.
If we have enough advice and everything for tomorrow.
I think we will, and it's going.To be a bear, we'll.
Give them AI. Guess that would be a good way
to just put a cherry on top of the week and watch nobody has
(31:28):
submitted any advice. Then we got to like, it's like
the two hour fucking Dylan and Michael struggle.
Yeah, just as a struggle. So it's crazy how silver is a
color, right? Because it's not like what
primary colors make that they'remaking shit up now.
And it's just like what? And.
You guys like rambling, Here it comes.
Remember, guys, listen yesterday, make sure to check
(31:51):
out Two Daddies, Judge and Baddies where the other side has
debuted at this point. Yes, it will have debuted.
I really think that's what's going to set us apart from all
the other and all the asshole creators.
And it does give Mike freedom tolike kind of add his little
nutmeg on it. Check out the subreddit M ADHD
where we kinda. I just asked a question on there
(32:11):
today and. Give us a call.
Leave a. Mikeandeleon.com Yep, leave a
You can leave a voicemail or leave.
A. A submission.
Submission either one and we will see you guys next time.
Later.
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