Epstein AI, Gooners, and Gas Station Racism Gone Wrong | MADHD EP37 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Bear Nimble, Bow down. Mike and Dylan hate drama, but
the Bow Wow. Are we rolling?
We're rolling. I was on my phone, man.
I was. Fucking off, as they would say.
No so welcome back to another episode of Mike and Dylan hate
hate drama where we, I don't know, we talk about shit, we get
some advice. Look, it's a podcast, all right?

(00:21):
That's we're going to talk aboutthings.
We're going to do what we want when we want to.
And if you don't like it, then I'm sorry.
Please keep watching are. You going to break the
heartbreaking news to them? Well, heartbreaking news.
That's a conspiracy podcast. Oh yeah, So we're not going to
look. We're just going to talk about
shit on here, man. This is another one with another

(00:44):
one. All the shit.
Look, another one. Fuck that.
Yeah, I'm trying to be a fisherman right now, so.
Mike has put in like a solid, like he's trying to get his
10,000 hours of fishing like within like this year.
Like he's trying to, I don't know how many hours are in a
year, but like. I had my tooth removed three
days ago. Everything's going well.

(01:06):
Not in pain anymore, so I can enjoy.
I can enjoy life. And I decided to take up
fishing. The problem is I mean I have a
daddy and I don't know how to. Fish.
Well, it's, I mean, does Claude really know?
Like any tips? Because that's been your daddy
for the past little bit. He has tips, but his tips are
generated from the Internet so it's all essentially the same

(01:27):
stuff. Out of two days of fishing,
brother, I have not. How many hours too?
In the past three days, probablyaround 20 hours, like almost one
full day. When are you doing it?
Because like, I haven't, I haven't fished in a while.
So like I'm not like, you know, the best, but like it was, we

(01:47):
always were fishing at like duskand dawn were like the hot
times. Middle of the day kind of sucks
because it's like really hot unless you're going to shady
areas. But like, fish don't really like
and then like at night time, they're not just like going
wild. So it came up because my middle
son was like, you know, dad, I want to try fishing out.
I was like, all right, So got some cheap Walmart poles and I

(02:12):
was like, let's go, bud. 20 minutes.
And he was like, it's too hot. I don't like this.
This is all stupid when I reallyAM and I don't know what I'm
doing here. I caught a fish and I at least
cast it out twice. Yeah, no fish on here.
He thought like as soon as we went in, he was like all right,
where they at and I was. It don't work like that.
So then, well. He's probably played one of
those like, video games where you're like fishing.
It's like. You're just, you're just racking

(02:36):
up the fishes. So of course, you know my
daughter who just likes hanging out with me, who's like, yeah,
let's do anything. She she goes with me and then
she starts. She really enjoys it.
So we have just been struggling really honestly conversating.
I don't even go out to fish hanging.
Out. Yeah.

(02:57):
And what's so funny is if you would have seen yesterday,
yesterday we didn't go for that long.
The second time we went out. The first time we went out, we
went out for like 2 hours and catch nothing.
The second time we went out from, I think about eight, 8:00
at night to 1:00 in the morning.And then I come home and I was
wearing this white shirt and yeah, I'm drenching sweat and

(03:19):
sardines and all sorts of stuff.And it, I don't, it is, it's
therapeutic in a way, because honestly, I, I want to catch a
fucking fish, right? I'm trying to say it's
therapeutic. I'm trying to be like, look,
yeah, really out there in the lake, We, we, we find ourselves.
I am. So I'm like, wow, I'm fucking

(03:41):
retarded, bro. Like happy no more.
In a minute then just like. Snap the right yeah, where are
you? What the fuck Like I mid mid
conversation. I just look at the lithium.
I'm like bro if if we were from like 100 years ago bro y'all be
dead. Well, yeah, like I mean if you
if. There is not like y'all be like,
oh we got this dad who can't catch a single singular
motherfucking fish. Well, if the apocalypse were to

(04:01):
happen right now, like if, if you know, like the whole, like
the end of all things that we know right now, you'd be like,
Oh, well, I guess we're starving, which I haven't fished
in forever. So I, I don't, I can't like talk
mad shit either because I, I grew up with a pond in my front
yard. So we fished all the time.
Like it was just like, that was the thing to do because we
didn't have video games, we didn't have anything.
We had a pond in the front yard.And then my dad was like,

(04:24):
especially during the summer time, he's like TV off now, get
the fuck outside. And so we were, you know,
catching frogs, catching tadpoles, fishing, doing all
that stuff. And so I did a lot of fishing,
but then once I had found drugs and girls at like 15, I was
like, this sucks. No, this is way more fun to do
these other things. So like once I and then when we
moved down to North Carolina, I like was never around.

(04:47):
My parents used to go out fishing when we moved down here.
They we still have like a canoe that we brought down from that
pond. And so they'd go out on the
lakes and, you know, go fishing every Saturday and Sunday.
And I was like, once again, drinking and hanging out with
girls. That's way cooler.
So that's what I always spent mytime doing.
And I guess at this point I've got 2 kayaks.
I'd take them out from time to time, but it would be fun to,

(05:09):
you know, just drown some worms and make some fish late for
dinner. I.
Fucking love hearing Dylan talk about his just like, poor child.
He's like, yeah, and you know, the pond we have out in the
front yard and. In front of our single wide
trailer bro. Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, you know. It was a.
Jurassic Park one there in a little mobile home that's like a
that's like a $200,000 operation.

(05:30):
It was in BFE, New York and it was a rent to own situation
where my parents rented the the trailer.
And then in the 90s my parents started doing better.
So like by the time I was like 10 or 12, like they decided they
were going to buy the place. And then by the time we were 15,
I was 15, my mom and dad both had decent jobs.

(05:51):
My mom worked in a factory, my dad was painting for a a ski
resort. And so since their jobs were
decent, we upgraded from a single wide to a double wide.
And then in the process of from the time I was 15 to the time I
was 18, my parents lost everything because like
basically my dad lost his job. There was, you know, falling out

(06:12):
of our finances and then so we declared bankruptcy and came
down to North Carolina to be closer to my brother.
So like, I mean, yes, there werelike high times in it, but like
when I between the time I was like, you know, born to the time
I was probably 10, we were getting like, you know.
My uncle bro, you ain't got. A lot of food, whatever it is,

(06:34):
like peanut butter in the big fucking tin cans and like cheese
blocks from like the food pantryand all that stuff.
Like I said, my parents would goand do all that stuff you said
your parents were too proud to go do.
That What the fuck, man? I'm like, listen, I'm cool with
them being a crackhead. Like my parents can be a
crackhead. Use the food stamps for food,
Yeah. You ain't got either for like.
I'm ashamed to do it. That sounds like as a man, it's

(06:57):
hard for me to go up to one of them churches and and it's hard
to look a man in the face and tell him that you need help
because, you know, you try to get by in society.
And it's like the more you struggle and the more you try,
the harder everything gets. And it's just hard for me to
look a man in the eyes and say, Hey, I need help.

(07:19):
And I'm like, bro, I get that look.
I get that. Stop smoking crack.
Like if if he just did that, youwouldn't have to do that, OK?
You wouldn't have to do that if you just stop.
Just just stop smoking crap bro.And stop selling the food stamps
for money to buy crack. That's all.
That's all you had to do. Tell you what, give me the food
stamps. I'll go buy the food and you

(07:39):
don't honestly do it at all. Hearing about your childhood and
you're like, and I was like low and then there was UPS and then
there was Lowe's. And so I just like a good It was
yours. Was just consistent the.
Whole like, I didn't get used toanything.
I wasn't like, you know, we got a steady supply of Hot Pockets
in the freezer. So everything's going pretty
great right now. But yeah, I mean, fucking the
fish. I don't know, I guess they're

(08:01):
not biting. Maybe there's like a conspiracy.
Maybe I need? To I think it's the timing.
You're fishing in the middle of the night the whole time.
So like you got to figure out what is going to be biting in
the middle of the night and it'snot just.
Nothing, nothing. There's nothing out there I
don't think. Well, I think catfish are I.
Don't think there's a fish in either lake that we go to.
And, and you're fishing from thebank.
So once again, like, it's it's like, I know a lot of people go

(08:23):
out like cat fishing through thenight, but they're not, they're
like in a boat going to where the catfish might be rather than
just being like fishing off the side of the lake.
So yeah, maybe we can get some input on the proper technique to
fish off the side of the lake. Or I can let you borrow my kayak
and, you know, you strap it to your car and you guys go out in
the middle of the lake in the middle of the night and.
I'll dead ass do that. My daughter's gonna be so

(08:46):
scared. She's like, are we trained for
this? Really?
Not at all. I'm not at all.
I'm going to where the fish are.Where are they?
I'm going to where they're at. Obviously when we get there,
we'll see where they're at. Imagine if she catches a fish
and then it just starts like pulling her way and you're like
sitting there trying to paddle to catch up to her.
She's like, I can't let go. I said like a guy was catching

(09:09):
sharks from a kayak and I was like, like, if you die, what do
they say at your funeral? He had a fun riding at the end.
It's just like the with the Jeffrey Could you imagine having
to be the priest at Jeffrey Epstein's funeral?
Even I think he's Jewish. But imagine, all right, well,
they got to say good things about it.
Like they have to like, imagine when Bill Cosby dies, OK.

(09:30):
And they have his funeral and look, the the guys are just like
sitting there, They're waiting. The all funeral service guys.
They're just, they're happy people.
Because I guess when you see that much death, you you can
only see the optimistic things in life, which when my grandpa
died, they came to get them. And as they were about to walk
in, I was like, wait a second, guys, I just want to warn you.

(09:51):
There's a dead guy in there and they were like the funniest
fucking people, bro. They, they crack so many fucking
jokes and they're so they're so morbid about everything.
But Can you imagine them just like sitting there and because
there's usually like 3 or 4 guysand I go, what's his name?
And they're like Bill Cosby. I'm like, oh, that's, that's
crazy. That's crazy.
Like the celebrity and they're like, it is, it is him and he's

(10:13):
like that sure. That's, that's you George.
I was like Jordan, I'm fuck thatshit.
Is this that's you Ricky. And then, you know, fucking
during the services, like Bill was a godly man.
He he definitely touched a lot of people.

(10:33):
Some say that his, his personality was intoxicating.
It's just like, it's got to be fucking.
It's got to be rough because youdo have to say.
You do have to say good things. I think they always like subvert
it by being like, you know, he wasn't a perfect man, but you
know, deep down he, he, he really meant well.

(10:55):
Like he tried to make sure that,you know, he spread good amongst
the people. That's my thing.
I've had some hellion friends die, Yeah, and they'll just be
like, and deep down and I was like, brother, I don't know.
I've been up with that guy to like 5:30 in the morning.
You know, I've seen deep down doing, I've seen all the way
through this guy. It's just all crazy shit.

(11:18):
And then we're like, you know, he did love God and want a
relationship. So now you guys.
So you remember that video that I was showing you where he's
like, fuck God, I don't give a fuck, you know I'd fuck Satan in
the ass. That guy is the godly man that
you were talking about. Oh no, I don't think that was
the same guy. No, not at all.
And they always do that too. I don't know if funerals are

(11:39):
just lame, man. Like, I get it when you die, I
guess we're all supposed to be sad and, like, show up to a
place and cry. But just like, I don't know,
celebrate the person. Just do that.
Don't go to a place where you'reautomatically just going sad.
We got to go into his funeral and shit like that.
And that if you got like a dead kid, don't fucking at me because
I don't know how to deal with that shit.

(12:00):
I don't fucking like. Yeah, just.
I'm burning the world down. Yeah.
It's just like. What sucks is having three kids
because you can't just like. You can just be, yeah, no,
because you still got to do be there for the other two.
But no, I so I've got my wife reading into like stoicism and
stuff just and like, that's The thing is like I don't adhere to
any specific mindset thing. But like one of the things that

(12:23):
really fucked her up the other day was she was listening to a
podcast about it or like, I think it was an audio book.
And it was talking about like how the Stoics, like I think it
was Epictetus or Marcus Aurelius.
But like one of them was talkingabout how like any time they
kiss like like their loved one, like their partner, they're
like, they just imagine their death.
And so that they're like, they prepare themselves for the worst

(12:47):
things always. And like I was just like that's.
That's before they got a war, right?
No, no. No, just all the time, everyday,
like they, they just imagine like the worst.
So they're always prepared for the bad things that are going to
happen in life. And like, I, I get the point of
like not being scared of the badthings in life, but like to like
preemptively just constantly be like, Oh yeah, I know my wife's
going to die. She'll, she'll eventually die.

(13:08):
She's going to die so. Like, I mean, terrible things
often happen when you least expect it.
So if you go in every day just always expecting, I mean, you're
going to be, you're going. To fucking crazy.
You're going to just be like, you fucking just like Eeyore
over there. Just like, well, nobody died
today, but it's common. Well, see, they do it in a

(13:29):
positive, like it's, it's a weird dynamic that they've got
going on. Like they do it in so that when
it happens, they're prepared forit, but they're not like they're
very positive people in general,but like they're just making it
so that they're not like taken out of their element when it
happens. But like it's just like, that's
kind of like that's a a bridge too far for me to just be like,

(13:51):
OK, so like I'm I'm going to be prepared for this negative thing
to happen. So I'm just going to think about
like my wife, this happens. Great.
No, not every day. Can't do it.
All right, so we're going to getto a bit of advice and then I
don't know what's happening in the world today, right now.
You're the Internet guy. Somebody called me out on that

(14:11):
alert. They're like, does Dylan even
Internet? And I was like, no, I don't
think I avoid the Internets if Ican.
I mean we have the Epstein AI. That didn't happen conveniently.
Is that like a mandala effect or?
No, yeah, it's a Mandela Effect because we told you it didn't
happen. So you fucking, you sit there

(14:31):
and you fucking relish in the fact that it never fucking
happened. And if you think it did happen,
you thought wrong. Yeah.
If you keep thinking it, then we're going to get angry.
Like there's a, there's like a forced Mandela Effect.
It was like, yeah, we we got Epstein, all right?
We have them. And he has this whole island
full of children. We got a list.
We actually released some of them, released some of the

(14:52):
files. Had trials about it and
everything like fucking and. Then it's just like, no, none of
that ever, ever happened. He actually did kill himself.
The FBI investigated. And come to find out all that,
all that stuff that we were actually doing, it was made-up
and around that guy. Yeah.
That none of that, none of that happened.
He was just a who believes and Bill who who listens to that

(15:13):
because look, like I told you, Idon't like Republicans or
Democrats, but you got to be throating Donald Trump like you
got to have the whole cock in your throat and balls in your
mouth to to believe that. I think you got to buy in so
hardcore that like you, you can't admit that this person
that you've idolized could have any sort of flaws to.
Them people who like people who like politics, they're like

(15:35):
abused women. Yes, one day he's.
Gone. No, he's, he's perfect.
He's perfect autism. He was just drunk, Yeah.
Oh, see, you're looking at this all wrong.
Like, no, you got to understand the intent behind it.
Like he was, he was just there protecting us.
I went to I went to the gas station and got a drink and
because he mapped it and said that it only takes 2 minutes to

(15:56):
get there, 2 minutes back and I go.
I was gone for 7 minutes. He assumed I spent that 3
minutes fucking somebody. So really, it was my fault that
he beat my ass. So shouldn't have wasted that
time going to the bathroom because I had to shit.
Really. And then one day she walks up
and you're just like, so how's everything going?
And you're like, what do you mean?
It's like how you know you and you get away from Tim, probably

(16:16):
get away from Tim because he abuses you all the time.
It was like, no, he's never happened.
What? Who told you that?
You did. You bitch like the the gash is
on your face when I had to visityou in the emergency room you
fucking made Earl how to die. Like when we went to that whole
music video like what are you talking about?
I'm like, no, I think you are remembering it incorrectly.

(16:38):
I don't know why you put that onhim.
That nothing like that, ever. Happened that's so wild man.
That's so just, it just never happened.
Like, fuck it. Which that shows you that
fucking Republicans and Democrats can team up on
something and be like, yeah, hasthis never happened?
They're the same fucking people because like literally anything
that comes across that little stupid fucking box that all the
pundits talk about, it's like, Yep, no, that's the truth now.

(16:58):
It's the truth. Did you not see the new truth
that we have to believe in? Like that's what.
Did you not see the new truth wehave to believe in?
That's it. That's so good.
That's such a great representation of the world.
Did did you not see the new truth we have to do on those
guys? Yeah, you're an.
Ice Breakers, we are on. Well, come up two weeks, no
smoking, which I gotta say, everybody was like, oh, you're

(17:21):
gonna feel so great. I feel more racist, like I feel
like prejudice. If I assume that you are
something and you do something in public that I don't like, I'm
just immediately like whisperingslurs under my breath.
It is. All people like you.
Yeah, all people, I'm not like singling anybody out.

(17:42):
I mean, I single you out when I say a slur because there's not
slurs for everybody. But yeah, I'll just.
At what point am I just like, OK, this is great.
I like, I mean, I get it. I think you were way closer to
that on like day like 3 when than you are now.
Like I think you are more like edgy and like wanting a

(18:04):
cigarette than you were on like day three or four.
Like you're still positive and like, yeah, it's all good.
And I'm pretty much good. Like I don't I don't even think
about them anymore. And then now you're like back to
like the when's this going to? When's this going to be like the
two thing? And I was like, well, I'm not
going to be in pain and I'm haveall this stuff and like all the
stuff gone and be 100%. And now it's like we're in 100%.

(18:25):
We're good. Like now I'm not in the pain and
I feel normal again. And it's like we feel normal.
Like why are we not ingesting a fucked ton of nicotine?
But at this point my kids know so you can never go.
I can never go back to smoking because I fucking immediately
let them down. Look, OK, another thing, so

(18:48):
there was a video that came there's there's actually 2
videos that are pretty viral right now.
One and let me know what you would do in this situation.
A father is getting robbed at gunpoint.
OK And he takes off, leaves the kid in the car, to which the car

(19:10):
then got stolen with the kid inside.
What? So wait, was he in the car or he
was not in the car? Well, I think he was in the car
started getting jacked for the car.
He might have been going to the car.
I've not actually watched the video.
It's just a really popular video.
I'll I more enjoy the jokes of everybody roasting the guy it.

(19:31):
Seems like we're really fucked up.
Like, what do you do in that scenario?
Like like, I don't know, like where.
He then rebuttal. He then rebuttal which and
people are roasting the shit outof him and listen, I enjoy like
he could have had like the most legit excuse.
I just enjoy people roasting people.
OK, So he said that, yeah, he ran because he assumed he was

(19:56):
like just getting robbed. Like they're not going to sit
there and fucking kill a kid. He's like, not everybody is a
fucking murderer. And if they are murderer,
they're not a child murderer. This is what he was hitting at.
He did not wear it like that. I am giving him so much, like
just so much. I'm making him sound like
Socrates right now, like I am. Dylan, Dylan will tell you, bro,
I am like, if you, if you're a company and you do anything,

(20:18):
bro, I could be your PR manager.I could spend shit so God damn
well. But that's what he was trying to
get at. He's like, hey, you know, I,
he's from the hood. Like he knows more than you that
there's people who fucking ride people infinitely more than
there are people who kill peopleinfinitely more than there are
people who kill children. So he knew that literally he was

(20:40):
the only one in there now. Then he stole the car with a sun
inside. He got a son safe and that's all
that matters. OK, listen, but everybody writes
though. Yeah, there was one guy.
How was the son? Was he like a baby was?
Yeah. I think he's like two or three,
but there's one guy, he's on forklift, he got grill.
I can't repeat it because he says the N word.

(21:01):
Like it's the funniest fucking rebuttal to that.
I'm going to show you after the podcast.
But then another thing that's going on with the Internet is
the Coldplay video. That's what my wife was telling
me about it this morning and like when I was telling her
about like somebody commenting that I don't Internet and like
she she had brought up like thatthing and like told me kind of

(21:21):
the back story on it and I was just like, why do you like why
the fuck do people care about a random person that's fucking
cheating on their wife? Like that's their own problem.
And I get that. Like it went out there, but like
my wife said that like literallyit was like her whole feed of
everybody was fucking sharing and posting about this fucking
thing. And it was like.
A couple like one or two times ayear, you get shit that goes

(21:44):
like insanely viral. Yeah.
So last year we had, I think thelast really good example was
Haktuwa. Yeah.
And now you got, you know, this couple.
So they're at they're at the concert and they're doing like
the Cam where they like go to different.
People cams. Yeah, like the romance cams.
And it hits them and they immediately like duck down and

(22:04):
trying to get a what? Bro, if you to just it's a
concert. Nobody's like that's like
watching a firework video. Nobody's watching your video.
Like bro, look at this fucking video.
And it's just like you barely hear the guitar playing and it's
just like more you hear people and fucking shit like that.
Nobody's gonna watch this video,but it's.
It's the instant nature of like as soon.
As something wrong as. Soon as they were caught, they

(22:25):
were like, oh shit, now, like cuz like they feel like they're
ambiguous, like they're, they'reunknown in this big gigantic
crowd until you get on the fucking kiss Cam and then all of
a sudden it's like, you know, ohshit, we're found out.
Like they've just done nothing. They wouldn't be the most viral
story going on right now. So his wife now knows.

(22:47):
Obviously everybody's just doingtakes on it.
You could do that at the local fucking you know what the high
Toms that get like 400 people out to watch their fucking games
and like you could do that and you would be your wife would
know instantly, even though nobody in that.
Every single body would, yeah, everybody's just going to share
it because now you've made it's the Streisand effect.

(23:08):
It is the Streisand effect because they made something out
of something that was nothing like nobody would have fucking
thought anything about that. But they reacted like that and
it caused this big fucking reaction.
I'm telling you, man, a Streisand effect if how many
people we got watched the podcast 2000.
Well, it's like 3000 now all together, like 3000.
We have no idea. Okay, look, we try to get the

(23:29):
numbers from Spotify, Apple podcast.
They'll be like, yeah. There's people that there's.
Like 10,000 listeners, but you only have 15,000 active
listeners and I'm just like, allright, fuck yeah.
Well, and then there's 25,000 people that have listened, but
then there's only 300 people that listened in the past week,
but then next week it's 1500, but then this week it's 3000.

(23:52):
The funniest shit, The funniest shit cuz we go through Spotify
is our main one and then it distributes to the other
podcasts. So it'll be like your views on
Spotify today, about 1500 listens.
And then it'll be like on all the platforms combined, all
platforms including Spotify, including Spotify.
That's the big thing. It'll be like 1450 and I'll be

(24:13):
like also somehow on negative and good pods and everything
else. People negative, they suck.
They are not watching. They sucked out the fucking data
like a dementor from their phone.
They're fucking, they just ran up on somebody in the street
that listens to us and just likedon't fucking listen.
Just sucked out the knowledge from them.
They're fucking like, just like sitting in the catatonic state

(24:34):
on the side of the fucking Rd. But yeah, that's the that's the
two things going on right now. What do you think about that,
though? For like, people that they wrap
themselves up in these like, because I mean, ultimately, this
isn't like some guy that's a celebrity.
This isn't some woman that's like, you know, in the zeitgeist
in general. It's literally just like a
fucking moment. And like the fact that it

(24:55):
becomes this gigantic. Thing where everybody is talking
about when you was a kid, they said like you someone would and
you jump and you'd be like, oh, you got something to hide.
Yeah, you know, if you jump in like that boy, you gotta get
right with God shit that they would say during our childhood.
Exactly like they fucking. They obviously have something to
hide. They're not doing the right

(25:15):
shit. Yeah, but like, for the whole
fucking Internet to, like, focuson you for.
Absolutely. Right, great thing because
listen, they've been doing it for a long time without the wife
knowing he's. Been no, no, I'm not saying that
they're like, I'm not. I just like now the wife is
like, so yeah, great that they got found out.
I I agree fully. But like the fact that the
Internet is so fucking such a monster that it then it's going

(25:38):
to engulf the the wife, the kids, like anybody, like fucking
brothers, sisters, like any like, especially because the
Internet goes fucking wild and it's like, oh, we need to find
out like all this information and so they fucking know where
people live, what they do for a work.
Like we need to get them fired. We need to do all this stuff.
For like cheating, that's people.
That's people. Look, they did something where
everybody. You don't know what's gonna go

(26:00):
like that viral. Yeah.
It's just it's random things 99.9% of the time.
I can't tell you none of this would have happened had you not
had an affair on your wife to that bitch to a Coldplay
concert. Yeah, so I mean.
But like the fallout of everybody else involved because
of like, yes, they're cheaters and that's bad.

(26:20):
And like the wife should know. And if the other chick has a
husband, he should know. Like all that should come out.
But like the fact that the internet's going to like and
like people are going to focus on this shit, like, like it
fucking matters to them in the slightest.
Like that's that's why I don't Internet is because like
ultimately tomorrow. Angry man Shanks stick at
Internet. Well, like, no, it, it's like

(26:41):
you guys don't have enough fucking going on in your own
life that like I would never hitthe share button on somebody
else's like bullshit like that. Like I would never hit the share
button because it does not actually impact my life in the
slightest. So why do I give a fuck at all
what this cheating pair does? Unless it was like funny or
anything like that. You're not adding to anybody's
life. You are literally focusing on

(27:02):
people's miseries. So like, what is the benefit to
society? The benefit to like people in
general that. This thing is their misery.
It's just a funny. It's a funny instance that
happened like. It's not funny though.
Like, how's that funny? How's that funny that it's a
love Cam and then it hits them and instead of just being like.
I've never seen it, so like, I really can't even like.
Instead of being like just I'm amoose.

(27:23):
Like if you did that right. You probably would have went
just as Dick. Out right there and would not
have went viral. Oh yeah, it would have.
No it wouldn't have bro people all those are for doing like
weird stuff, just like fucking popping a titty whatever.
If they'd have just acted normal, done nothing if they
did. Nothing.
Yes, that would have been fine, but.
You've not seen a titty? Popping a titty out it would it

(27:44):
would have went far. Pulling your Dick out probably
would have went far. And I would people.
Flash that thing in New York allthe time, That show, that's like
a portal and it shows the UK might be flashing each other all
the time. Nobody.
Oh really? Yeah, nobody.
Look, titties ain't shit anymore, bud.
I used to be. I used to watch very pixelated

(28:06):
titties from Canada on over the air broadcast antenna.
You know though. It would like.
Barely show. Remember when you had the buzzy
TV? Yeah, that's.
What I'm saying is like Canada. Would have to have show click it
back and then click it back. Trying to get like a little bit
of just like, is that a boob? Well then back in the day,
pay-per-view used to give you the 1st 5 minutes of like any

(28:28):
movie. And so when they had like the
pay-per-view porn, you'd always hope that they got to the action
within the 1st 5 minutes, but itdid not.
All right, I'm watching it now. Oh, oh, you laughed.
You see that, Dylan? That's what I hate.
Because you fucking revel in people's misery.
I wouldn't share it though. I wouldn't fucking share it.

(28:48):
Like why is that share? Listen, imagine you saw that
first, OK? And you were like, that's a cute
little thing. I'm.
I wouldn't share. Listen, listen, before it goes
super viral, before something goes super viral, everybody
doesn't know it's super viral. You're just, it's just something
you send to your like, look at these fucking idiots.
Like you could have just done nothing.
And then everybody's talking about it and everybody's having
a good time and listen, understand what you're saying.

(29:09):
The way you prevent this and theInternet attached it to your
fucking life in this ship. You don't cheat on your wife.
Like if he had never done that, he wouldn't be on the Internet.
People constantly deal with shit.
Like every day is just one depressing story after another.
Let people laugh at a God damn look.
He fucking did it. Worried too much people.
Worried about him. I'm worried about the the

(29:30):
fallout of all the people in hislife that's really calmed down.
That and that, that's the part that aggravates me, is that
people are then like people become these like fucking
Internet sleuths, like when theyfucking find something they
want. To CEO of a company so they
don't have to they don't have toreally sleuth on it.
I mean look bro, they told his wife.
Well, I guess you saw or they told him.

(29:51):
But that's the thing. You would tell somebody, like if
somebody would, if you caught your friend's wife out there
just, you know, sucking Dicks, you'd be like, hey, bud, I don't
know what's going on. Yeah.
I wouldn't like, blast it acrossthe Internet and like, I
wouldn't. I would be so I would be so
awkward because you know, it's it's 2025, people aren't doing a
lot of shit. So I would have to stop just

(30:12):
like hanging out with my friend.I'm like hey man, you ever?
Well, what do you think about cuckolding?
Yeah, You guys swing? Yeah.
What are you guys into? Like you ever heard of swing?
And you'd be like, yeah, man, welove doing that shit.
I'm like, all right, cool. Yeah.
So I'm gonna just drop. I'm gonna just drop that.
So you're cool with her sucking others?
But where did I see her at sucking that Dick like I go
back. Well, it was that hotel room

(30:33):
that I went to invited from Craigslist and.
Right. But like, you don't if you just
don't like. Yeah, no, I get it.
But like it's the the virality of it.
Like for my wife to have broughtit up to me this morning and
talk about like how her whole page was filled with people
talking about that, sharing thatand like reposting it and all
this other stuff. And like the fact that people

(30:54):
don't have enough going on that they don't like have to
commentate on this stuff becausethere is other stuff.
There's, there's like plenty of real shit that's going on that
people aren't talking about thatwhy focus on.
That's been human nature for a while, yeah.
And and I. But also too, I think you put
too much stock into it. Well, the way that my wife

(31:16):
explained it to me though, is she's like, like the way that
she sees it and she does it too,is like escapism.
Like if she's focusing on other people's stuff, she's not
focusing on her own shit. Like she gets to like just like
look at random stuff on the Internet and never have to like
take a second to just fucking like meditate on what's going on
in her own life, Focus on her own issues that are going on.

(31:37):
It's just like scroll scroll funny hop post share, like do
all this stuff and never have tolike take a second.
To just hell and breeze bro you as a fucking like a Japanese
samurai in your past life I. Mean I just don't like.
I think I think you are man. I think this is I think this is
an old man shake stick at Internet moment.
It's a good thing society, Yeah,anything that anything that say

(31:57):
escapism, that is, I mean, a good a good word for.
I do think you're putting too much stock in how much this is
affecting people's. Like, I see the video, OK, This
is 99.9% of the Internet that sees this.
OK, You got a very small percentage.
And and this is every person doesn't know how to use things.
That's the people who docks and do dumb shit.
But 99.9% of people, they see the video.

(32:17):
OK, that's funny. It's viral.
OK, so then other people are like making memes of it, making
jokes of it. And then you see one of those
you're like, so you share that. And that's why I think that's I
think you're thinking of they'rethinking about it the whole
time. They're like, oh, we got this is
our I'm. Thinking of the shit people.
Our main talking point? I'm thinking of the shit people
that are, you know, doxing and then like hitting up the wife or
anybody related and like people go down those rabbit holes and

(32:40):
like end up like fucking with people's lives that cuz like
honestly, the wife is a completely innocent party in
this, but I guarantee she got 6,000,000 fucking messages.
Oh, she probably doesn't know about this.
Let me find her and let me fucking hit her up and be like,
hey, did you know your husband was at a fucking Coldplay
concert? And he was like, what's his
blah, blah, blah. And so like about a million
people probably sent that to herbefore she actually shut down
her Facebook, right? So like having to deal with

(33:01):
that. And then you know, any of the
other outline, like now this company is which I because he's
a cheater doesn't mean that the company is any sort of problem.
Like fucking people at McDonald's cheat that, you know,
flip burgers and so do CE OS. So like it doesn't change
anything about the company. I don't know what company works.
We need to make anti Dorman skits.

(33:22):
Anti what? Dorman.
Dorman. Yeah.
He's the fucking guy that makes the the skits.
That's like the lady walks to a business.
A guy walks to a business and hewalks to the janitor and he's
like, excuse me, Sir. And the janitor turned around
and he's like, yes, how may I help you?
I have a meeting with the CEO that I must get to now.
Where are where is the office? And he was like, well, Sir,

(33:45):
right now the elevator is now I don't need a whole explanation,
Sir. If you could just tell me where
this office is. You, you janitor bum bitch, you,
your children probably stink andyou live in a shack.
If you could just tell me right now and three words, you'll ask
how to get there. I have an interview.
So he tells them and then the guy walks up to the office and
when he walks through the door, he sees the CEO taking off the

(34:08):
janitor out and he's like, hello, I am the CEO of this
company. And the guy's like, whoa, life
lesson. Maybe we shouldn't judge people.
And bro, his videos do God damn numbers.
Bro makes stacks off of that. Listen, that's all you got to
do, man. Fuck all this.
Doing shit the right way. OK?
Look, we're entering Mike's villain arc now.

(34:29):
I quit smoking. We're trying to live, right?
We're entering my villain arc because you got people like
Darman doing that shit. Mr. Ball and all these guys are
making money off of people died.Fuck that.
I don't bring races back, right?I'll make it mainstream again.
All right? Listen, we're going to we're
going to fuck in. We're going to get this bad.
I don't know. I just want to.
I want to do skits. I don't want to do work skits.

(34:51):
We are going to do some work skits but.
We don't have to anymore. We don't.
We can do whatever the fuck we want.
We're in that next episode, not where I'm not in an episode
right now. I'm just saying that's a next
episode conversation. But I just want, like, I just
want to really fucking. Like I think the.
Worst part is finding actors bro.
If we could find just like motherfuckers that were just

(35:13):
like, yeah, I'll be in it. I'll be in it.
They'll be like what are you paying bitch, we ain't making
money off of this what are you talking about?
I'll be in it and I work for free man.
I'm not going to knock us. I'm not going to not have people
in a KKK outfit. Do I got a KKK?
Oh, I was going to say where? Pull it up.
Yeah, bring my clan outfit. I'm surprised that like.
We had I do have a clan outfit over there hanging up.
I'm so surprised that like, the Adventures of Clever Sykes

(35:37):
really didn't do enough numbers that somebody didn't fucking
steal that and like repost that up.
Like that is wild. Cause like maybe episode 3 with
the ghosts is fucking just so fucking hilarious.
And the fact that nobody was like, you know what?
I don't know that Mike's going to keep this up forever.
Let's fucking steal this and make sure it lasts.

(35:59):
Like let's show this again. And you've posted it twice.
Like, 'cause we posted it initially and then you you took
it off the main channel and thenyou post it again.
I just. Didn't know how to market it
man. It's a fucking They were 15.
They were 15 minute episodes. I.
Bet. You know, if we were to put it
like with listeners and to like put it out there, we would do
better than it has ever done. I don't know.

(36:22):
We need to. I think what we do is we can
like remaster the episodes and release it as like a concept and
be like, ah, we're going to do it because that was it's shot on
essentially 0 budget. Yeah.
So if yeah, we lost money, so much money doing that and you'll
watch it. You'll be like, man, this is
like if they if we step it up a little bit, we can make because
we didn't have actors and stuff like that.

(36:43):
We're trying to make a fucking web series slash, you know,
series series. So we had to find fucking and
shout out me, man, I'm so good because I had to like guide
these No, because it was like, you know, we should have scripts
and I was like the people who have never acted before cannot
have scripts. I can have script.
They can't have scripts because they are going to I.

(37:04):
Just wanted to fucking script soI knew what the fuck was going
on. They yeah, but also we were just
not not efficient then. And I didn't know what the fuck
I was doing. I was like, oh, it'd be fun to
do this. And then finally, you know, you
get the experience into doing it.
I do want to redo the Adventuresof Clever Slice Peter Baskets
mockumentary about two guys getting kicked out of the
Illuminati. That's very, I don't know,
Trailer Park Boys esque. It's very Trailer Park Boys

(37:26):
esque. Yeah, mixed with the office,
mixed with, you know, it's always Sunny.
Like, just the ludicrous. It's it's, it's very ludicrous,
not really down to earth, but it's, I don't know.
I fucking, I enjoyed the fuck out of it.
We need to put it up somewhere. Maybe we just put up the fucking
3 episodes. I don't give a fuck.

(37:47):
Oh yeah, that's the hard part islike I, I feel like we almost
just do like a separate YouTube of just like almost like a not a
graveyard because that's kind oflike a shitty way of looking at
it, right. But just like a archived like
where we don't give a fuck what that that platform does.
But like we just put up all the old stuff that we have worked on
that we're really proud of. That was like some cool shit

(38:08):
because like, I mean, a lot of the skits that are have
disappeared, you know, like, fucking what is that pocket
fentanyl? Like those types of things don't
exist on the Internet right now at this moment.
Pocket fentanyl does. No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does. It's privated.
It's not out there. What do you mean it's private?
It is on it's you can see it on my TikTok.
On your TikTok and vertical, butit's not a vertical video.

(38:30):
Yeah, you can see it on horizontal on Facebook.
OK, but on a good searchable engine I get on.
YouTube like it's all gone this.Will we can, we can make up a
little YouTube. We should let listeners vote on
a name. Yeah, send in submissions on
what you want the YouTube to be called because we don't care.
We're just going to have like anarchive so people can just go to

(38:52):
it and fucking watch shit that we have done from back in the
day. But yeah, submit and then we'll
get the best ones and we'll be like, this is what we're going
to name it. I think that'd be dope, yeah.
But I think it's a good place tolike not put the pressure of
like, hey, we're trying to buildthis platform.
We care about the numbers or anything.
And it's not something that we'll continue to post to, but

(39:12):
like. What was the advice at right?
Here. Because we do have to, I mean,
we're, we're going to do a, thisis going to be like the podcast
going forward. I'm talking about, we're going
to talk about recent stuff, recent advance.
Maybe we'll have a subject that day.
Maybe we'll have a guest if theylike doing stuff for free.
Everybody goes on podcast for free bro, nobody gets paid.
To. Is that real?
Nobody gets paid to go on a. Podcast.

(39:32):
I need to know somebody who knows somebody.
The only thing you get paid for,like if, if we were to go on Joe
Rogan, they might put us up in the hotel and like pay for our
travel out there. They're not going to pay us to
be on there. Listen.
How? What does it say?
You're 7 people away from knowing somebody.
Yeah, that's what we we need. To get somebody.
So guys, I mean, collectively together, we got to be at least
five people away from knowing Joe Rogan.

(39:54):
Yeah. All right.
And listen. Well, especially you because
like you, you are friends with like technically and like
whether they know or whether they're listening to this
podcast. But like you have befriended
some like UFC fighters. Oh yeah, on like social media I
got like, I got like 4 friends that are around Joe Rogan.
But I know I like, I wish I could just hit him up and be

(40:15):
like, hey, man, you know, the next time you're around Joe, be
like Joe. You, you take pride in people
trying to do comedy. Well, that's a good way to put
it. There's this guy.
You might not or may think he's funny, but look, just put him on
the show. I need a fuck.
I just need to go do Ayawasha and then just be like, I saw
aliens. And then he'll be like, tell me

(40:37):
the experience what it was like.I was like, yeah, I did Ayawasha
and then I saw aliens. So listen.
I mean, I, I have done multitudes of psychedelics in my
life. So like, yeah, we, we've got the
stories for those. DMT.
Yeah, I tried DMT. It did not DMT me the way that
it should have you. Didn't blast off.
All right, so this title is lifeadvice.

(40:58):
Dear Mike and Dylan, I need advice.
I'm 21 on my second marriage. God, wow, starting young.
Yeah. It is going great and I'm very
happy. I also have almost a 2 year old
daughter from my first marriage.I was married at 18.
Thank you for answering that. And my first wife stabbed me.
That's a different story. Good to leave.
Yeah. Good, good.

(41:19):
Reason I can send in sometime later.
For now I need advice on how to stay focused on work and make
myself want to work more. I work at Amazon so it sucks but
it pays OK but the bosses are Dicks straight out of college
and I don't know what I should do.
Is that all of it? Yeah, fucking you live more life
to me, buddy. I'm like God damn you just just.

(41:42):
I think that's a dilling question.
How do I stay? We'll see.
I think the biggest thing with any of that is to like, just
because you're working at Amazonright now, like a lot of people
get stuck in like, oh, this is what I do.
Like when you jump from box shopto box shop, like it's good.
But like technically factory work translates to factory work.
So like, you don't have to stay at Amazon.

(42:02):
You can find another warehouse. You can find something else that
might treat you better. But I mean, for me, the biggest
surprise for me was like being able to go into the patrol
petroleum industry and like the amount that I was making at the
factory, I was, I was crushing it.
I was making like $18.00 an hour, $19.00 an hour at the
factory as a mechanic. And then my buddy's like I make

(42:23):
or I'm going to get a job for $23.00 an hour.
The bottom paying job was $23.00an hour and petroleum.
I was like, no, I wanna go there.
That's where I wanna go. You just like.
You just reminded me of a reallyracist thing that happened
couple days ago. OK.
So you said petroleum, so? Listen, does this pertain to
that vice? Yeah, I know it pertains to
Usain Petroleum. So I go to Speedway.

(42:48):
There's an Indian guy in front of me, all right, racist
already. But he was like, I want, I want
10 on Station 4 and I'm being listen, I'm being funny.
But it did sound right. Like he like the Indian guy was

(43:10):
smart enough to be like, hi, I get the joke.
But the girl behind the counter was like, God damn, that was a
fuck. Yeah, She was like, that was,
that was pretty. That was pretty up there.
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
I'm racist as fuck. But whoa.
Well, then I was like, so we do not sell petrol here.
I was like, we got gasoline. You go to a pump and get
gasoline. It's America, baby.

(43:31):
Well, to America, brother, like the Welcome to America was like,
hey, you're here. Not like a fucking Welcome to
America brother. Yeah, yeah.
This is how we do things in America.
The Indian guy was like fucking.He was like, this is, you know,
fucking station fucking pump petrol.
You know we measure things in fucking.
Gallons, not liters. No, no Americans, bro.

(43:52):
They'll be like, all right, there's a comic coming that's
the that's the size of two JC Penney's all right.
And we're thinking the, the blast radius, it's going to be
at at least the size of Lake Superior.
All right. And within that you'll be able
to fit 30,000 washing machines. Like they never, we never

(44:13):
actually use measurements. We're just like use what could
fit in it. What's the rough size of it?
So listen, it's funny. God damn.
We say gasoline, We're the only ones that do that.
But I was just like immediately,because he was like, stay as far
as like, we don't sell petrol here, buddy.
But I went petrol. I was like, fucking we have gas
here. This is America.

(44:33):
Gasoline. You get gasoline at a pump.
Yeah, meeting me in public, bro,is like really hit or miss.
Either I'm just like super quietor.
It's funny because I've never seen that mic at a store before.
What the mic that you're talkingabout right now?
The Welcome to America. Well, so it's just the fucking,
the Quinness, the smoking, the Quinn, the Adderall and it's

(44:55):
just, I don't know, I'm getting more like me and Dylan come in
here and I'm doing things for a new tic tac that we're starting.
It's just like the like bite sizing of the asshole videos.
How long did I just sit over here and do them?
Like 2 hours? When the fuck has that ever
happened where I'm just like video video video video.
I was actually sitting there andI was like waiting because that

(45:16):
was like literally the day afteryou got your tooth done.
So like I was like, yeah, he'll probably get like 3 or 4 of them
and he's going to be like, fuck it, this, I got to, I got to
take a break and he got through 16.
Yeah, so I'm locked the fuck in,man.
I'm telling you, hopefully I gotlike a week left and then I'm
really going to start focusing on physical health because right

(45:38):
now, fuck that shit. I ain't going to go through this
shit and be like, yeah, I know Dave and Guy are going to let
him down right now. I got a picture of him on the
wall. Naked or no AI, just AI
generated. Telling me to shut the fuck up.
Really. And I know I'm letting him down
right now because he's like, you're fucking you just fucking
do it. You do the fucking diet and you
do the fucking cigarettes. I'm like, God damn it, David,

(45:59):
I'm trying. All right, so it's so hard.
I can't carry the boats right now, all right?
I'm dragging a boat behind me. Soon I'll be able to lift the
boat and start running with it. You got to calm down everybody,
ain't you, brother? He's like, I was just fat.
And I looked in the mirror and Iwas like, fuck this.
You fire miles. Yeah, I'm running 100 miles.
And then my. Legs are broken now.
Death and God and everybody cameout to him.
He was like, bro, you're dying because a human can't do it.

(46:20):
He's like, fuck all y'all, I'll run this bitch now.
And they were just like, what the fuck ever, bro?
David Goggins is a new guy. I'm sorry.
Like it just that's how it works.
Like Death came. He's like, Dave was like fuck
you, bitch. You.
Yeah. He's like, what are you doing?
You standing here talking to me?I bet there's at least one or
two tragedy tragedies going right now that you could be
fucking done. You ain't being efficient.

(46:41):
Go get your work done. Yeah, go get your work done.
Don't give me fucking excuses about why you being a bitch.
That's just like I got to run onthese.
Broken feet and broken ankles and broken.
Legs in there like we need to. We need to think about what
we're doing. He's like, oh, do we need to
think about what? I remember the dark Ages,
motherfucker. Like, you know, how long do you
take a break for? Fuck that shit.

(47:03):
I would never take a break. I'm a man.
Take naps, all right? The day I grow tits is the day I
take a fucking nap. Fuck you.
Oh, wait, that's John Berenthal.I want to fuck you.
Say his name. Oh yeah, I don't know how to say
his name. Bro I wish that motherfucker was
my brother. I don't know why.
Like I I watched The Walking Dead.
That was the first it. Took me so long to like, get
over that he's not his characterfrom The Walking Dead because

(47:25):
that's. He was so fucking good.
And bro, that show went yeah, assoon as he fucking.
But he, I'm not going to say it was just his acting, which was
phenomenal. Yeah, but it was the fact that
it was a great villain. Like it was a great villain.
And then you get just like a cheesy ass villain, like the
Governor, a cheesy ass villain like fucking Negan.
Somebody was like the last time I complained about The Walking

(47:46):
Dead. They were like, no, they're just
following the comics loosely, super loosely.
So shut the fuck up on that. It's a shitty show.
We can, we can, we can call a spade a spade.
I heard that's racist. Call a spade a spade.
And so the one weird racist termthat I have found that I don't
like, that they're like calling it racist because I don't think

(48:07):
it is, is the master suite, you know, they no longer call.
Yeah. Because it never was.
That it's like picnic and stuff like that.
Picnic is now a racist term too.But like when when?
Like when you're talking about like a in law suite or anything.
What's so funny? Too is like you think of an
innocuous word about master suite and like picnic.
On like king bed. Queen bed, Like what?
Come on, like. Yeah, and then they're like,

(48:28):
well, that is racist. Well, now yeah, cuz I'm thinking
about it. I was like, you know what's
going to picnic? And I was like kind of racist.
But look, how's I'll be real with you.
OK, OK. Was someone, was someone saying
something like, you know, masterthe master bedroom or master

(48:49):
suite is racist. Picnic is racist.
Those are black people that grewup in white neighborhoods like
they grew up. Well, they wasn't out in the
hood. They wasn't out with us.
You know what I'm saying? Where it's like fucking the
fucking Mexicans out there. We got some white people out
there, black people out there was it's us like out there, you
know what I'm saying? It's fucking they're like man,
fuck black people in the hood. They have to struggle like
that's a struggle, struggle. I want that.

(49:09):
I want that real hard, want a master without being like they
was like, man, I see hood motherfucker, I see gangsters.
How can I be that without havingto be there?
You know, I want the struggle, but you know what I'm saying?
Central heating and air is very nice.
I'm sorry, look. Well, that's.
We wasn't out there. You got to go to the hood today,

(49:32):
go out there and just be like, how do you feel about this?
Go to a fucking, it's like the cultural appropriation and that
guy goes to different cultures and shit like that and they're
like, you're fucking honoring our culture.
America is the melting pot. Like we fucking talk about this
melting pot of the world, bro. All these cultures values coming
together. When there's people like getting

(49:55):
mad just to get mad, like that's, that's kind of like what
my whole argument about the Internet stuff is, is like, I
mean, what does it actually matter if some, especially when
it's like little kids and stuff like if a little kid wants to
dress up as like a little girl wants to dress up as like
Pocahontas, like that's a fucking character she loves.
She's not being like, oh, this is a derisive.
But if you say Mexican, you know, sombrero, shit like that,

(50:16):
All that stuff is cool. You could dress up like a Native
American, an indigenous person. Dope.
Not Pocahontas bro. Not Pocahontas.
Have you read her life? Yeah, like, I mean.
Shit. Like complete shit.
But The thing is though is as a kid watching a fucking movie,
like blame Disney and like fuck Disney for whatever they did.
This is This is Disney Pocahontas.

(50:37):
This is not actual Pocahontas. This is Disney Pocahontas.
Yeah, but like, I mean, The thing is, is like a little kid
and like a parent being willing to like buy their kid a fucking
outfit. Like, I'm sorry, it's not this
fucking big racial thing. Like it, it was a thing like,
you know, like kids wanting to dress up as like Moana.
Like it, they have the culture, Moana, all that stuff is like,

(51:01):
it's not as like racist as everybody.
Else, I'm sorry if I see somebody dressing up like a
motherfucking Hawaiian. That's an American, buddy.
That's an American. Yeah, we look at that.
Look at that American right there.
Yeah. Like, bro, when I think of, like
Americans fighting both, like wegot black people, Samoans, white

(51:22):
people, Hispanic people, Asians.We got everybody, man, we
literally like say like shit wasreal fucked, apocalyptic shit,
but for some reason, like every country had to fight every
country, bro, we would destroy. We would fucking sweep like we
would sweep, because you got to think all these other countries,
they're just like bro couple races, all right, So they're

(51:44):
they're real specialized where we man, fucking real well
balanced, all right, got black people.
Listen, I'm sorry to the to the white guy listening right now,
OK? The motherfucker's athletic, OK?
And I don't give a fuck, people.I'm not racist.
I had a joke. Yeah, I had a joke in a stand up

(52:06):
that I did. And it was like I had said
something and then like it ends with like a like a black
stereotype, but it's like a goodblack stereotype.
Why? I think it was about, you know,
black people would be more athletic than white people.
And I was like, and then, you know, I was informed actually
that that joke was racist. And I was like, what do you what

(52:29):
do you mean? And I'm like, well, if you say
stereotypes, like imagine like you're saying like the
stereotypes where you wouldn't find bad, you know, like big
Dick fucking super athletic. OK.
And then a black, a black kid with a fucking tiny Packer and
Can't Sing, can't just sing. Even all black people can, Can't
Sing and just is not athletic. OK, Which we got to be talking

(52:52):
about the, you know, .001%, but whatever talking about that.
Guy that's so racist right? You make him feel bad.
A black guy came up and told me this like he was like, we don't
say that like we because then he's going to feel inadequate
his whole life because he's beenlike, fuck, you know, I can't,
you know, the whole football can't fucking sing.
I can't fucking I don't got a big ass Dick.
So I mean, I got what he was saying and I like learned a lot

(53:15):
from him saying that shit, you know, And as soon as that guy
walked out of the comedy shop, got hit by a car, but he was all
right because like he rolled across the window, did this
really cool, like double black backflip, landed on his feet,
stuffed his 12 inch Dick back inhis pants and kept walking.
So so it was because that also talked about how smooth black

(53:37):
people were. I couldn't remember the joke
verbatim. I thought you were just going to
finish up, be like, oh, so that black kid feels like me.
Because you know, well, that was.
That was the easy 1 though. Yeah, but you've said that one
before. Yeah, I've said that one before.
You should stop. Playing with your I don't know
that the listeners are going to love here and with your candy.
I like playing with the candy though.

(53:57):
I know, but it changes the way that you're talking.
I don't know that they're going to I.
Don't know. I love man, I love all like
races talk about like when I seea comedian, Mexican comedian
talking about it's just that's like we make jokes on each
other, especially if you go, if you're a comedian and you
fucking have a show, say you're Gary Owens.

(54:17):
Gary Owens is not opening to a mostly white show.
It's not happening. It's all black people like it
is. And he's just the, the, the type
of guy who can really fucking entertain that demographic.
And listen, sometimes you have comedy that just does that shit
and you got to, or we just not going to include black people.
Like, you know, you can make a like a tasteful, like we're

(54:37):
trying to be funny. We're trying to make everybody
laugh. And honestly, the best, the best
humor comes from like, you know,embarrassment.
The the the the gritty like the fucking office type shit.
The the innocuous life isn't always beautiful type shit.
Well, I think the best, like thebest version of that was when
like, and, and it's been done since then.

(54:58):
But like when Dave Chappelle came out, he came out swinging
for every single demographic, like gay, straight, fucking
religious, non religious, black,white, Hispanic, like, and he
just went hard on every single one of them in such a way that
like, like, you know, it was oneof those things though, like a
lot of people in the black community were like, hey, you
were making black people look bad.

(55:19):
He's like, no, no, no, I was just like pointing out shit
that's funny. Like this is stereotypical
because we have these people. Like this isn't wrong to like
make fun of like a crackhead andlike make a crackhead of
character. Like we got that.
Like it exists. So like I can poke fun at it and
like him making fun of white people will be an all snoopy and
all this other shit like. That's what's like, that's
what's funny because listen, we do have once again, I said, you

(55:41):
know, white people and black people are the same.
Do they allow them? Like you know, on Sunday
mornings when you wake up, thereare a few differences.
Yeah, that they have cultures, but guess what?
You can get a knock on your door.
If I get a knock on my door at 3:00 in the morning, I'm going
God damn crackhead trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner.
I'm not saying only is it a white crackhead?
Is it a black crackhead? Because don't matter.

(56:03):
Yeah, don't matter. It's a crackhead and it's going
to be one of them. It's not going to be a Mexican
crackhead. You don't see those?
You don't, bro. You don't see Mexican drug
addicts like they, they'll drinkand then like they'll just,
they'll just like go inside. And then they go to work.
And then they go to work. Yeah, they go to work.
They don't fucking. They don't do nothing.
Like you go to fucking Philadelphia, bro.

(56:24):
Go to Philadelphia, walk throughthe streets.
You're going to see. I guarantee you, you would see
more goddamn Tharian people. That's the the people who think
they're animals. You will see more of those than
you will Mexicans. Dead ass Asian people, man.
They don't do a lot either. I think it's just like it's
because they come in and they'renot like really in the American

(56:46):
spirit yet. Takes like a generation to get
there and they're and then you all and then it's just like it
goes on and we all just become more and more alike to where we
are just like a race of the samepeople, but we hate each other
because their skin colors are different.
It's just it's it's great. I mean, I look, I understand

(57:06):
there is racism out there. There are racist people out
there making a joke that, you know, is toeing the line on
that's not going to turn somebody racist and it's not
going to make a racist person not racist.
I think that when it's like the CEO ducking down during the

(57:28):
Coldplay video, once you make something like that a problem,
Barbra Streisand effect, once you really focus on something,
then it starts to become a problem because now you got
people that are just like, you know, when I remember when all
this like started taking off andyou know, there was like a lot
of white people going, well, I ain't doing this stuff.
And then they were like, we knowyou might not be doing it, but

(57:51):
they're the majority is. And I'm like, I ain't seeing it.
I ain't seeing it because they were like, you know, they're out
here killing trans kids who like, I'm not like walking like
if I was walking down the street, bro, and every 5 seconds
like the little transit gone, I'm just like what the fuck?
God, yeah, Jesus, there would bea problem.

(58:13):
Well, and I think the the problem is though, is like the
kids are taking themselves out, but it's not just trans, It's
not just, you know, people of the LGBTQ plus community.
Like I mean, there's plenty of straight most.
People that kill themselves are straight white men or straight
men white men just because we are the most we're the.

(58:34):
The majority the. Majority but I think I think
ratio wise just straight men kill themselves but it's.
Not right for the kids to be picking on, you know, other kids
for being different and all thisother stuff.
But like also it's not, it's notup to society to just like be
like bend over backwards to be accepting either.
Like that's the whole thing is like you do choose kind of your

(58:56):
own path in life. If you, if you wear fucking
furry little ears on your head, you know that people are going
to say something about it. And whether it's right or wrong,
if they say something, it's going to happen.
Like you're, you can't expect tolike single yourself out and
then not be singled out like it's, it's one in the same.
And like, not that it's right the people bully, but you have
to know that certain things thatyou do.

(59:17):
Like when I used to have a fucking multi colored Mohawk
engages in my ears as like a 15 year old, I wanted people.
I'm just expressing myself, Dad.Yeah, but like I wanted people
to like judge me. And and then when they did judge
me, I wanted to be like, fuck you for judging me.
Like that was the whole thing. Like.
And so yes, when you dress up asa fucking furry, you know that
people are going to judge you. And you know, that's part of

(59:39):
what makes those people get their little kink on what do.
You mean those people fucking furries?
Furries have a heart out here, brother.
You don't know what's like beinga furry.
All the suffering that people's been through.
How many of those conventions did you go through?
That shit when people like they'll be like they hear black
people, you know slavery and fucking because look black
people did have a what's the opposite of a head start a slow

(01:00:03):
start. I don't fucking know, they were
held back a lot in the country and if out of anybody in like
American culture besides. Like Native American, indigenous
people, I don't know what they're called now.
It'll change next week. But out of those two, like
anytime anybody starts to try tocompare, they'll be like, yeah,

(01:00:24):
being, you know, being, being gay.
Yeah. Y'all go through like a slavery
or mass genocide here. And I'm like, now I'm like
Laura, well, you could complain.Look plain.
Sure. Bring back a little bit.
I'm really in, really in becausethose that's like the the
suffering because I look, I likeI said, I do believe you can

(01:00:47):
make jokes and shit like that. I do believe there's racist
people. The thing look, the thing I hate
more than the people complainingabout the jokes and then
completely racist people. There's there's one thing I hate
more than those guys and that's the guys where they're like, you
can't say anything funny anymorethat I hate that like comedy's
dead, bro. Cancel culture.

(01:01:09):
Fuck this shit. Jesus fucking Christ.
Like if you like Tom McDonald, bro, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I don't understand.
Listen, when I started listeningto Tom McDonald, he released a
song called Castles. I was into a lot of underground
rap and I was like, oh, you know, this guy's he's good, all
right. And then he released like white
boy during the height or during the like it's it's starting.

(01:01:31):
And he released white Boy where he's like saying, hey, we didn't
do slavery and anything like that.
Which I'm like, brother, they'renot talking about you dog.
You're Canadian. Like we're American, OK?
We're the ones that did all the bad shit.
We're the we're the ones out here fucking gangstring.
All right, look, we're we're here living it.
You Canadians don't include yourself in our our things, OK?

(01:01:54):
Yeah, I ain't doing it. Like you can't just be like, oh,
yeah, they're so they're hating on them.
We're included in them. No, Yeah, it's not how that
works. So it makes White Boy and it
does fucking numbers, OK, because if you got people
talking shit about your product,then you're going to have people
defending your product. The thing is, people are talking

(01:02:15):
about your product. So he was like, fuck, that's
really good. Then he releases the like the
politically incorrect. He did a response to the white
boy thing and then was just like, guess what?
I'm making this my whole personality.
Yeah, whole personality. And then he's like doing songs
where he's like calling people UN American for shit.

(01:02:36):
And I was like, brother, you arenot American.
New York, Canadian. Why?
Wasn't he living in Florida? So like I mean.
Fuck that shit. I don't give a fuck.
I'm rhyme. I'm a real racist bro and I
don't give what you Canada? You're a Canadian who is staying
in Florida. You are not American.
Yeah. You like that though, right?
I'm real racist. I fucking yeah, I'm so racist.

(01:02:59):
He's not even the right type of white people.
That's that's great. Like Brit I fucking God damn it,
fucking stab you with my zombie.Not if I hate, I just hate.
I don't like UK guys. Listen, the whole all your raps
sound the same. They do the same tune of
bullscus bullshit like it's all the same shit man.
I cannot. I don't like British people.

(01:03:20):
I do fuck with Canadians is the only Canadian I don't really
fuck with IS Tom McDonald and then the guys who killed that
one guy with a screwdriver. I was watching the heads of
state. It's like a thing with John Cena
and Idris Elba, I think are the 2.
They're playing like president of the United States and UK
Prime Minister or whatever. And they get caught up in a

(01:03:42):
situation and they're like whereyou guys from?
And obviously John Cena is aboutto say like we're Americans.
Like he's like, he's Idris Elba's like we're Canadians and
he's like, no, no, we're fuckingAmericans.
He's like, he's like, no, we're Canadians.
He's like everybody loves Americans.
He's like, no, only in America, like no, we're fucking
Canadians, like, because only inAmerica do people really,

(01:04:05):
really, really, really love Americans.
But anywhere else, it's like Canadians are like the, the, the
milk toast. They're like the vanilla, like,
Oh yeah, they're acceptable everywhere.
America. America's like, man, you
fucking. You get dressed to the night,
all right, do your hair fucking you throw on a necklace, spray

(01:04:26):
some Cologne. You're 17 years old, all right?
You feel like you're in tip top shape.
Five years later, you look at that photo, you got your hair
slicked back, all right, and it's still like wet.
You use too much jail so it looks greasy as shit.
You have on a button up shirt that has a big dragon graphic on

(01:04:49):
it and it's just a black and reddragon coming across with like
fire. You're wearing Jean shorts that
are also black, but they're likedown to here.
So it's like you just didn't even finish your pants.
And then you got on a fucking pair of New balances and that
the chain is coming around and it's fucking just some kind of
like dollar store medallion. And you look at that and you're

(01:05:09):
like, Oh my God, that is. I'm not proud of that moment
anymore, right? Maybe that's why the girls
weren't having sex with me, not because they're sluts that don't
care about men anymore. That's crazy that those people
exist. Listen, it is.
It's a fun. It's I love talking about like,

(01:05:31):
you know, people who go really far into cancer culture, which
is minority, like in the minority, not like just
minority. It's just minority, just
minority. No, it's way more white people.
White people love just being like.
Hey, I heard, I heard somebody was upset about this.
I don't know whether it was actually the culture that we're
trying to protect here, but somebody's mad about this, so we

(01:05:52):
should jump on board. No, no, man, every time like
something happens and someone says something like imagine
somebody clipped the the black joke that I made.
The first person that's going tojump on that's going to be a
white person because they're going to be like, I see this is
about black people. I want to make it about myself.
I want to interject like I everytime they do that, they don't be
a fucking lie. Denarius Targaryen fucking

(01:06:13):
getting crowd surfed by the fucking slaves.
So that's what they really think, bro.
They think they're the fucking just the the hero of black
people, the defender, the defender of minorities.
I used to be that back way back in the day with like with
dreadlocks like I was. I was so hardcore because you
had dreadlocks. No, well, fuck with dreadlocks
as like this. That's cultural appropriation.
And like, I used to like, give people, like white people a hard

(01:06:36):
time about it. And then I was like, I had
something. A black woman in a blonde wig
and you're like, that's different.
That's that's different. Well, I got over like it's it's
if somebody is there and they'reupset about it, like we can have
a discussion about it, but like there's no reason for me to like
preemptively like get mad for somebody there are good.
Points though, like there are good points.
Like there is racism here. There is like, you know, we do

(01:06:59):
want people to feel accepted. We don't want people to feel
bullied. We don't want people killing
themselves. Yeah, we don't want people just
going out and fucking, you know,hating a bunch of gay people
because they're gay, hating a bunch of transgender people
because, you know, fucking, they're just like, well, you
don't want people fucking bullying and harassing people.
You want everybody to be accepted.
I want to talk shit about peoplefor their flaws, not because of

(01:07:19):
the color of their skin, not because of.
And then we just went too far. Like we went too far.
Then we were like, well, you can't make fun of fat people.
And we're like, but you do that like I'm fat from my own
actions. All right.
Well, some people help that. Well, some people can suck a
Dick because you just eat a bunch of fucking food.
OK, fat ass. Like that's what you do.
That's how we get fat. We eat a we eat a bunch of food

(01:07:42):
and then they're like, well, now, like if you are fat, you
are beautiful. Which is crazy because if I was
just like, you know, she walked up to me.
I was like, God damn girl, you looking like Rebel Wilson right
now. She's like, what does that mean?
You call me fat? Whoa.
Fat is beautiful. I would but.

(01:08:04):
I bet you she'd flip you inside out.
She's a wild one. I used to make that joke about
Lizza, but then she started taking Ozempic.
Ozempic melting fat people out. There's something wrong with
that shit. But look, it's like you just
take it too far. Like you take it too far.
You have to do this. You have to understand
transgender. Well, no, it's body dysmorphy.
Like if effects fucking like honestly half the people that

(01:08:31):
you see that claim to be trans people were.
That's not that's not the real number.
Like there are some people that are just like making it up.
Then you got the people that like the mom that's like 3 of my
kids are transgender. And then the daughter raises her
hand. She's like, I'm four.
And then I'm like, oh God, bro, no, like you have a better
chance of hitting the lottery twice than that fucking
happening. That's when you start taking it

(01:08:53):
too far. That's when you're saying, hey,
like you must accept. Like once again, we are a, we
are a fucking, we're a state. We're a country of different
values, different religions, different things coming
together. Should you accept one another?
Absolutely. Do you have to praise and agree?
And you know what I'm saying? You can make jokes like you

(01:09:14):
can't like as long as it's like light hearted shit.
Like if you're going up to somebody and you're you fucking,
if you go to a gay person and you call him a faggot, that's
hatred bro. All right?
If you, you know, see 2 gay people kissing, you go gay.
I do that all the time because literally it's gay.
Like I'm just like gay. I've done that like twice in my

(01:09:37):
whole life. I got to do that to, you know,
like Tyrone. Yeah, they were just like, never
mad. Well, yeah, like.
One was friends. It's easy when you got friends
that are. Gay.
Well, and I think it comes back to your like your gas station
thing and it it is in how you present it because like if it is
light hearted and and fun, it isfunny.
But like if it's like gay, like mad, like angry, then it's like

(01:10:00):
well that's not fucking light hearted and fun.
Honestly, I don't know how you do that to where like like how
do you say gay to two people gay?
Like you can't. I'm like that's all hilarious.
Like the more animated you get with that, the better it is.
Also, you like you got to know how to like do shit tastefully
and you got to like take a fucking L2 like people who do
like say jokes and shit. You are going to say a joke in a

(01:10:22):
fucked way, like you're not going to be able to present it
the way you want to present it. And then you just got to be
like, damn, that did sound listen, that sound a little bit
racist, but you don't have to belike, oh, you know, I'm so
sorry, but I meant. That in a light hearted racist
way like. This is what I meant.
All right. New racist joke people just.
Dig deeper always works. Once again, the people I just
cannot stand is the it's cancel culture fucking.

(01:10:46):
It's just a bunch of unfunny thefuckers.
Like that's what it is. Oh.
Yeah, your your jokes are meant.Right.
You don't know how to like, yeah, you don't know how to spin
that shit in a fucking like, just like a light hearted way.
Well, then unfortunately there are people that you can't, you
can't joke at all about because they will get so offended.
Like there's, there's on both sides of that.
There's the people that literally can't say anything

(01:11:08):
funny because they're. Like those people ain't got
friends though so I never run. I like literally.
Like one of the guys that I, I used to work with his like one
of the punch lines for his jokeswas that like Mike Tyson was
black like and used the N word and I was like the punch line is
that he's black. Like that's the punch line.
I was like, that's, that's not really a joke.
That's just racism. Like there's there's no like

(01:11:29):
funny to this other than like you just use the N word to say
that he's. Black, right?
There's not even a double entendre.
Happening. There's nothing funny.
At all. It's just like, that's hateful
bro. That's just racism.
So like, no, it's not funny. Like, and I've heard plenty of
other racist jokes that can be made like they are funny because
of the stereotypes and other stuff.
Like, I mean, that's really whata lot of, you know, Eddie Murphy

(01:11:51):
and Richard Pryor and like some of the best black comedians have
done is, you know, stereotypicalracism jokes, but it's black guy
telling it so you can laugh about it.
But you know, like if it was a white guy doing it, it would be
distasteful because it would seem more like judgmental and,
you know, making fun of. And but like it when it's your
culture, you can do a little bitfurther into that.
But like when a white guy tells you a joke and the punchline is

(01:12:13):
the N word, it's like, no, that's just racism, bro.
Like there was no, like, there was no wit or humor to this at
all. It was just like, oh, I'm
racist. Yeah.
That's not I'm a little apple hate.
I just been in every way, but I'm just hateful.
Yeah. And and so like that's the,
those are the people on that's like we can't see anything
anymore. I do know that like fucking

(01:12:33):
there are racist groups and shitlike that, but they are
incredibly the minority on that.But I did I did tell you I had a
friend that was so he had went to Florida to join the Proud
Boys and I'm sorry people will be like, well, the on the proud
boys. This is not a racist organs that
you are all right. I have friends that are proud

(01:12:54):
boys. I'm sorry, like I did not know
the their inside ambitions when I had met them.
Honestly, they were different. I don't know what happened.
I think it was like it had to bewhen Harambe died, that just
shit just went so cartoony. We turned into fucking the the
Marvel Civil War fucking shit. But I start talking to him.

(01:13:17):
He doesn't have any kind of way to speak to him.
And I had told a friend of ours like, yeah, man.
Like he disappeared off the faceof the earth.
I just hope, you know, he's doing OK.
And he was like, do you have a Snapchat?
I was like, no, I can make one so I make a Snapchat.
Do you want to see my Dick? Yeah, I was like, I'm confused
as to what's happening. So then I get a Snapchat from

(01:13:39):
him. All right, So before then I'm
like, why? Why are we being secretive?
Like, did he murder somebody? Like, what's going on?
So I look him up and he was all over Twitter for like, you know,
doing some shit where everybody was calling him racist.
And so it was so funny. So many people were like
defending this man. They were like, just cuz he's a
proud boy. This is not a racist
organization. And then I'm talking to him and
he's just like, yeah, we're, youknow, we're a racist

(01:14:00):
organization. We don't, we believe that white
people are superior. We believe the that the the
America needs to be cleansed of.Inadequacy.
He was saying the quiet part outloud.
Yeah, he was just saying it and I was just like, wow, this is
just like he's opened up, which,listen, how comfortable do I
make people where you just like start open enough to have
because he's just giving me thatinformation.

(01:14:21):
I just got to. He's like, God, I wish this was
just a text. I wish I wasn't like, hey, call
me, you know, I'm like, let's fucking catch up.
Because my face was like gettinghot.
And I was like, well, have you ever have you ever stopped?
Because I tried. Talk him out of it.
The best way I could, Yeah. I was just like, if you ever
stop the thing that maybe you should, like, put down that
book, like, because it was some book about a guy from like the

(01:14:43):
fucking 60s. He wrote a book that they use in
like the KKK and the Nazis use it.
But he's going over like this rhetoric.
And what's so funny is he would say something for like he would
say, I don't know if he had the book in hand once against his
over phone, but he would say like a Chapter 7 verse 11.
And he was like and to be under and he would fail every time you

(01:15:04):
say something, he would be like and to be unable to agree with
that means that you don't believe in the best possible
whatever for this country. And I was like, what is I think
this is what I think, buddy, I think you have surrounded
yourself with, and I'm not attacking you, okay, but the

(01:15:26):
wrong type of people. Are they Gen.
Xers because they made it their whole personality, their racism
is now everything about me so. They were older millennial Gen.
X, yes. Instead of CrossFit, they got
into. Racism, which, listen, they
clicked up pretty deep too. Like if you think of gangs,
they're like fucking 250 strong.They show up to like fucking

(01:15:47):
pride and shit. Yeah, how corny is that?
Showing up to a pride of friends?
Like I'm mad, man, Look at all this and making me angry.
Let me hold it to the time God hates you guys.
I must spend my whole day being mad.
We went to the one at Bull City a couple years back and like I
admit, there's certain events that aren't meant for kids.

(01:16:08):
Like, I kind of wish that as soon as you.
Get into like assless chaps. Yeah, fucking.
And like, those are the moments where I'm like, OK, well, this
one's not kid friendly. It's just not.
And like, I have no problem withpeople, you know, doing whatever
they want to do. Like, but there is a time and
place where kids should be and kids shouldn't be.
And like, when it is very sexually oriented, it shouldn't
be a kids event. And so like when we were there,

(01:16:29):
I think that one, there was I, Ithink some like drag event that
was going on. And I was like, well, maybe I'm
going to take my 11 year old andwe're going to go do something
else instead of, you know, participate in this, right?
It's just not, it's not meant for my 11 year old.
So we dipped out, but like whilewe were dipping out, like there
was like 50 people at like the church, like, you know, a block

(01:16:50):
away, like just with like God hates I'm.
So. Abortionist murder and like all
this stuff. And I was like, you realize
those people can't even see you over here, right?
Like you're a block away. Like, because obviously, like
the cops said, like, no, you guys can't come too close.
And so they had to be certain. But like, I was like Dang.
This bullshit is like deep in there and they own all that, so
it's not like you. They have to be far away.

(01:17:11):
But yeah, like, I mean, and that's the whole thing is like
I. Was sharp so they see someone
driving in. Can you relay the message?
God hates fags. Can you like you go in there and
tell them do you want to take the time we brought exercise?
Like if you could just tell themthat they are an abomination.
Just get in there. If you go up to the front where
they it's like right before you get into Bull City, they're

(01:17:32):
going to have a guy with a microphone.
If you just get on the microphone and just say hey.
The people across the street wanted me to convey a message.
Yeah, that God doesn't love y'all that would.
That would help me out a lot. Thank you brother.
Thank you brother. Well, those people like the
whole like Westboro Baptist. I remember, God H all right,
It's because they're going into a brat, right?
But like the whole Westboro Baptist thing, like where they

(01:17:52):
were like protesting like military funerals and shit like
that. It's like time and place guys.
Like I mean, what? What are you gaining by like
protesting a dead soldier? Like what?
What? That's just showing the worst.
That's like the media shows the worst of both sides.
Like they really do, but then when you do that, then people
start to think that it's a problem and that's when you get

(01:18:14):
other people. Well, I don't associate those
people with like right wingers like they're, they're very,
very, very, very, very, very farlike.
Nobody. They were never portrayed on the
news as like leftist. They were portrayed as white
well. No, they were, they were
Westboro Baptists, right? They were who they were like.
Then yeah, now they're conservative.
They love Donald Trump, everybody.

(01:18:36):
That's how they're portrayed. I mean if you have a Trump sign
and then you also have a God hates fag sign and like you're
all in the same group then like yes but.
Then you think about like that minority of people going against
like the fucking left minority of people who are just like, you
know, do they really say anything that bad?
Well, yeah, I mean, they compareTrump to Hitler and all the

(01:18:57):
other like they, well, they, they're not like, you know, Don
Brown, they're. They're they're doing their
Holocaust right now. The far left they hate to use
right now, do they? Zionists.
They call them Zionists. I'm just out of the internets.
Go back to that. Well, you got to call them
Zionist so you can separate. Like I don't hate Jews, I hate
Zionist, OK, Zionist, and I labeled you a Zionist, so I hate

(01:19:21):
you like I label you Jewish persons once again, like they're
fucking both sides. But that's what you get.
Like you're only going to get those sides.
You're only gonna get those takes.
You're gonna get the it's ma'am,like in a GameStop.
That's all you're gonna see. You're not gonna see someone
that's like. Wait is that a video I missed?

(01:19:41):
Like, I don't if you miss Jeremy, that's OK is.
That a video that I missed. What, like something that
happened? You don't fucking know It's
ma'am, no. I don't Internet like I I I
literally with my phone. So Mike and Dylan hate drama is
now looking for another Co host.We would prefer if your name
started with AD and had two syllables.
We don't want to like really rebrand.

(01:20:02):
Yeah we don't want to rebrand. MADSD is dope but it can't be
like Mike and Dartanian. Like you can't.
That's three syllables Dartanian.
That's what I'm saying it needs to be too, OK?
Because Mike and Doug, Mike and Doug hate drama.
Mike and Douglas hate drama Mikeand Demetrius.
Mike and Darren. Darren.

(01:20:23):
Replace you with a black guy. You know, it'd be funny if it
was an Asian and his name was Darren.
I like my no, we're going to replace you with a black Dylan.
I like my Dylan's white. You didn't hear the racist joke
that I just made? What's your name?
Darren. Darren.
So they can't pronounce their LS.
So like an Asian guy named Darren?
So instead of Dylan, it'd be Darren.

(01:20:45):
They can't pronounce LS. Yeah, Dylan.
So it'd be Darren, Darren. That baby, Darren.
Darren. Yeah, I tried bro, even pick it
up. Listen Cuz Darren.
I have a friend and it's so fucking funny cuz he, you know,
he likes the he's very left talking about, you know, you

(01:21:06):
know, people struggles and shit like that.
When we're like playing a card game and he's just like, we'll
bust it to a he busts into this big like Japanese or you're very
dishonorable to her. And then he looks over and sees
an Asian guy and he's like, fuck, I was like, I think you
just assuming that man was Japanese.
I think that's more racist than but that's what I'm saying.

(01:21:30):
Like once you see that, like people are like normal people
and like political parties are split values.
Once again, there is hate out there.
There is people who take innocuous things and make them
just fucking annoying as shit and they like, this is what I
believe in. You have to believe in it to a
tee. If not, you can't work and you

(01:21:51):
know your kids don't deserve to eat.
Once again, that's an incredibleminority, but that's all you're
going to be shown because the other shit doesn't get clicks.
I accept. I can accept.
I can accept the, the racist group of Proud Boys and those
and the I can accept those. I can't accept someone being
like, well, you just can't tell jokes today.
Like you can't fucking say anything anymore because you're

(01:22:12):
going to somebody. You're going to be in the big
YEAH. Well, I think the, the hard part
is, is when, and I think I spokeabout it in the beginning of
like when we first started this,like when I used to work at the
pipeline, there was a lot of oldschool guys and they were all
racist. And like, they didn't think they
were racist because they were like, well, you know, like I was
like, are you talking about him?Because he works with us and

(01:22:32):
he's, he's black and they're like, no, he's different.
And I'm like, no, he's not. That's The thing is you put all
black people in this bucket. No, they're not all fucking
black people. Just like all white people don't
live in a trailer park and you know, do crack.
Like they're not all black people are the same.
Not all white people are the same.
Not all Asian people like and assoon as you put it into a bucket
of like they're the problem because they're black, but not

(01:22:54):
the three or four black people that I know that are pretty good
people like those are different.They're they're the outliers.
No, they're the fucking majoritymajority and the outliers are
the shitty ones in all regions and cultures and everything.
The majority of people are decent people to hard working,
go to work, pay their bills, paytheir taxes, do their fucking
shit. Like that's the majority of

(01:23:15):
everybody across the board. But as soon as you can say like
Mexicans and it's all the illegals like, well, what about
that? The funniest?
Goddamn thing about black. This is the funniest thing about
black people. OK, think of all the bad
stereotypes that every race has,OK Think of all of them when,
you know, white people. Fucking think of, like, meth and

(01:23:35):
racism. Fucking what do they call, like,
colonialism? Colonialism, Yeah.
That's like, like con. I was like what I saw.
Someone talk about I was like, hey, colonizer, and they were
like, you mean conqueror, and I was just like, what you mean
conqueror, brother? Like you don't get to claim that

(01:23:56):
either, though, because if you can't be like I didn't colonize,
I'm fucking I'm from now, brother.
I didn't own any slaves. I still don't and they.
'D be like conqueror. That was my answer gay and
people talk about their ancestors that's that fucking
lame. My ancestor was a fucking he was
you know my grand my ancestors fucking you know they they
fought the revolution or whatever like I don't know how

(01:24:16):
far ancestor goes back and then my grandpa he fought in World
War 2 and my dad was in Vietnam and you know we just fucking we
go by the book in this house andbe like oh, what do you do?
I stand up there by the sheets that I beg for money.
Yeah, no, it was like fuck, you got like PTSD from serving in
the I never served in the war and.
Then on Fridays I said in front of the Court House and say
abortion is murder. Right, grown ass men like get a

(01:24:38):
motherfucking job. It must be nice.
Your old ladies must have some good goddamn jobs for you boys
to be sitting here fucking not doing shit. 2:30.
On making money for your family.Roasting those guys the funniest
goddamn shit. You know they live stream that
when they're doing that. Did they do that?
Yeah, cuz I walked by the other day to drop some labor alignment
shipments off and I walked by and I like they add up their

(01:24:59):
fucking little GoPro and live streaming.
And just like dress up as a fetus and be like, nobody asked
me what I want. Just got just go out there.
What what? Because look, I'll go out there
aggressively and then if one tries, if I will fight him.
Like you just get beat up by a guy and a weird like a fetus
thing. Local TikTok celebrity.
Think about like all the bad stereotypes that different races

(01:25:22):
have. Black people are the only ones
that fucking like rap about it. Like that's in their that's
their song. They're like, yeah, I'll be out
here spinning the block, killingpeople, selling drugs and shit.
And white people were like, ah, God, like fuck, you're
destroying the community. And like which?
Listen the rappers. The rappers that are singing
about it aren't doing it. Some are.
Listen, if you're from Chicago and you just heard that I'm not

(01:25:45):
including you, Saint Louis, the young kids coming up, they're
about that life. But like when we're growing up,
Lil Wayne, he wasn't a no, he wasn't a gangster.
Rick Ross wasn't a gangster. 2 Chainz.
None of these guys were fucking gangster.
Tupac wasn't. Yeah, Tupac, that mother fucker
was in a ballet school fucking in a fucking Tutu.
Just like I mean his his mom waslike in the Black Panthers and
like like I mean he had seen some stuff but like he was not a

(01:26:06):
gang banger. Yeah, he was not.
He was not in them streets. But yeah, that's the that's the
one like if fucking country museums like, well, I hate black
people and I love meth. Like shit like that.
Like they were just like fuckingI mean.
David Alanco was that, but like.Yeah, but people be like, if

(01:26:28):
they were playing that every dayand then like the, you know, the
white kids that listen to it were like, I love this guy
because, you know, he fucking smokes meth.
And he fucking yeah. That was like, they're the only
ones that just like, well, you know, black people are all out
here gang banging and they're out here selling drugs and shit
like that. And then black person gets on
TikTok and they're like, no, we're not.

(01:26:48):
No, you are racist and you are. What is it called?
Profiling just because of my skin color and wraps?
Like, yeah, I was out there killing people and selling drugs
and it was fun. And all the kids are saying that
shit too. They're just like.
That's the so this whole album, that's kind of what you you had
mentioned. What about what about this?
Oh, that was all that. That's all non fiction.

(01:27:11):
Yeah, it was a Brill ship. And then that interview, like
the, like the fucking the kids that are in it like that do the
crimes and shit, you know, because like it was like, So
what made you? It's always like a white guy
interviewing too. I was like, what?
What gave you inspiration for the song?
He was like, yeah, shit. I was fucking down there in my
mouth. I just spun it.

(01:27:33):
You know, you get back, you fucking, you got to lock that
shit up. I was like, I don't like back in
the day when one somebody that we knew growing up, like they
asked Lil Wayne, like, what inspired you for this Lil Wayne?
And he'd be like, yeah. And he'd be like, well, I'll
just, you go to the studio. I'll just be out there spitting

(01:27:55):
with my boy. They come in and like he's
fucking. He's explaining to me about his
day. I'm like, that's not gangster,
that's not gangs. And Rick Ross, get up there and
be like, we go fucking. We got to, we got to actually,
we got to afford all this stuff.We got to, you know, get in
these managers and shit like that.
And then like you ask these kidsthat really like for fucking
like Saint Louis, fucking Chicago and shit like that who

(01:28:15):
are out there living it, then motherfuckers be like, fuck,
kill everybody. Why?
Why snitch on somebody? I handle right now.
You don't understand how fuckingit was like, all right, fuck
yeah, fucking all right. This interview's done.
I'll I'll see you guys. Yeah, yeah, all right, bro,
there. It's always the skinny white
kids too that are just like, andit's so fascinating the the gang

(01:28:38):
war that's currently going on and then the fucking like carry
it, covering this shit, little UK kids with bobs and shit.
But yeah, so it does make it a little bit more difficult.
Like if we were to maybe push the black rappers who were like,
hey, we don't like to do drugs and I like walking through my

(01:28:58):
community and helping old women cross the street and everybody's
like, shut up, Will Smith, you cuckold you, you fucking your
wife beats you. Shut the fuck up.
Your rapping is lame as fuck. We want to hear these guys talk
about selling drugs and killing people and fucking.
That's all they rap about. That's it.
That's the only thing. And then, you know, a white

(01:29:19):
person will be like, oh, oh, oh,white ladies, just like I'm I'm
afraid that because, you know, they sell drugs and they're in
gangs once again, they're like, we're not doing that.
Who who told you that day That'sracism that told you?
Nah, motherfucker. He just told me that I was the
album, the radio. I accidentally went to 102 jams.
I was fucking I was surfing it and a literal black guy told me

(01:29:43):
that he's out here spinning blocks.
I don't know what that means. All right, but but then hey, you
saying he's so dope? I understood what that meant.
It's so funny when you think about it, it's the funniest
goddamn thing. It's just like nobody else does
that. No other.
Well, actually there's a there'sa type of I don't want to get it
wrong either because listen, I'll poke fun at everybody.

(01:30:03):
I would not poke fun at the cartel.
Then some hard working men all right, not doing that.
But they have like a style of music where it is kind of like
that lifestyle and shit like that.
And then they have anti cartel music too, which don't know why
you would get into that genre ifyou are in Mexico.
I'd probably avoid that one. Like imagine there was a just a

(01:30:24):
specific genre of rap called just like anti O block EBT
fucking talking about like the the thick of it in Chicago,
which apparently I I'm not up todate, but I heard that was over.
They might be going back on again.
I don't know. I'm not in the.
See, all I can think of is like the the bluegrass and stuff that
I listen to and where they're talking about doing like meth

(01:30:45):
and like all the like opioid epidemic, but they're not like
bragging about it's. Not culture.
Like, it's not main, it's not mainstream.
I mean, yeah, but like technically that rap is like
more underground than it is. Like I there's still plenty of
rap that is on one or two jams and like mainstream that is
still talking about that. But like the the real serious,
like actual murderers and shit like that isn't hitting like Top

(01:31:07):
40 like #1 hits, is it? Yeah, So what are you talking
about? Like SoundCloud is like, so
there used to be underground rap.
OK. Yeah.
And then like, yeah, like shit like SoundCloud was like, oh,
anybody can. That's when people like, started
discovering motherfuckers off there.
So now people want to discover somebody before everybody else
gets on them. Like people went through their
little hipster movement. Look, we respect it.

(01:31:29):
We've been through it too, all right?
We're still currently going through it.
That's why Starbucks is doing sowell.
So. But like they do that like they
fucking so now the mother fuckers popping off or either
relatively new or just like they've been in the game for
they're just like undeniable, like you're fucking Kendrick
Lamar's your Drakes and shit like that.
But now, man, like the shelf life of just like a rapper being

(01:31:52):
popular, like Roddy Rich fuckingcame up, just fucking fell off,
baby came up, fell off. And then you got like the like
the fucking, the real motherfuckers, like fucking, you
know, King Von dies, FG Duck dies.
Like it's like so. Like.
Radio. It's like fucking just cycling.
Well, that's what I'm saying is like, did they make the radio?

(01:32:12):
Nobody listens to the radio though.
Like nobody. Like that's just not AI don't
understand. Well like what would it be like
billboard like #1? Like one O 2 jams is like
shifted more towards like R&B and shit like that too.
So because like a lot of it, youjust can't play like a lot of
the shit that is well. Yeah, when you have to bleep out
like literally every other word and.
Some which it's not because people they they harp on mumble

(01:32:35):
rap too much, which even drill like you can understand what
they're saying. Mobile rap was just a we don't
know what that was. That was a yeah, that was a kid
who got spanked and couldn't handle it and was like, I don't
know how to make music, but whatif I convinced everybody that I
the music that I don't know how to make is good and we're just
going to fuck in. We're just going to do that

(01:32:55):
weird time. It was a weird time in just
America, American history. But you know, after that, just
everybody, it's it's very intelligible.
You can understand everything. Honestly, I fucking I enjoy
drill, but that's not my life though.
So you know what I'm saying? Like I listen to it.
Sometimes I get hyped up a little bit, but then you know,

(01:33:17):
I'm I'll drive by little thing and it'll be like this Sunday,
come to the fairgrounds to watcha little jousting event and I'll
be like, that sounds like a lovely, lovely time with the
family right there. Jousting.
You know what a what a very niceevening that would be.
And then I was like, OK, I'm notgangster, but I just think it is
a fucking hilarious concept thatit's just like a fucking, you

(01:33:40):
know, stop, stop fucking stereotyping me and fucking
stop. And it's like, yeah, I do all
that shit sounds like. Exactly like a key and Peele
like skit. It is, yeah, but I'm telling
y'all, if I, if I did stand up, I'd fuck the game up.
But I love my family infinitely more than I like, like comedy
is. I love comedy.

(01:34:00):
I like movies. I like, you know, writing stuff.
I just like my family more man like them more.
I think this will end. Up.
You're not going to read the last it.
Was like a review. We'll do one more bit of advice,
but shit, this has been a good one.
Yeah, been a thick one. So the the second one for this
page, because Mike was going to delete this page and this would

(01:34:21):
never hit the air, but it says Iwant my reach around Mike.
Dear Mike and Dill Pickle. That was actually my nickname in
high school or junior high. I've called you dill pickle
before, 'cause just like Dylan and everybody called me that.
Oh, you should have been like. I don't really care for it.
I said it, man, Like, ah, yeah, I just let it die.

(01:34:42):
I just white people though, we're always on it.
Like black people make it cool and then we hear about it and
we're like, oh shit that is. I'm gonna use.
That wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
That is fleek. Oh God, I said it.
Isn't it on the fleet? Oh yeah.
It's on fleek. Look at that thought over there.
I love white people. Listen, I love white people.

(01:35:02):
I love black people. I love Mexicans.
Yeah, we're just. So I think the human race is
corny, bro. Like we're just corny as shit
and we just can't accept. If we could accept how corny we
really fucking are, we could really be just just like a just
the innocuous problems we createfor ourselves.
If we could just be like look, you guys are all ego driven
buffoons, everybody ego driven buffoons.

(01:35:24):
If y'all can just get over that and just let's just have fun.
Go play some pickleball. Man, I've not played pickleball.
There's there's a court nearby. We should.
I think white people started that.
That's the first thing white people started.
That's why it's so popular. We should go by the the little
pickleball court, by my house and.
Is it done? I mean, it's just a tennis court
is. It like 4 squares.
Yeah, it's like a smaller tenniscourt, but bigger than a ping

(01:35:46):
Pong I. Do want to start like AI Don't
know. I don't like doing, I don't like
YouTube pranks, but I like beingsuper serious when the time is
like not needed for it. Like we're walking back to the
car last night and there was like a bunch of people on the
dock. So there's a bunch of people out
there fishing at night. No, no, it's just an annoying
group of fucking teenagers. But they're on the dock, they

(01:36:10):
have a boat and they have the boat parked at in the dock and
they're playing on the dock and I want to fish beside the dock.
All right on a bottom fish beside the dock.
Some structure. It's the only goddamn structure
I could fucking see. They keep saying fish near
structure Mike, where? Where's this structure?
Are they building it under the water?
Like how do I find this? All right, so.
Your dad told you that? No YouTube.
So listen, I see all these people and at first Lithi wanted

(01:36:35):
to be like, well, let's just like walk out and just like, and
like actually we're going to chase them a little bit.
And I was like, Nah, because toomany people want guns.
I don't think any of those guys do.
But you. Just you.
Don't want to take the chance? That's and she was like, what do
you want to do? I was like, let's just be like,
we're really upset. And I'm just like, fuck, we
didn't catch a goddamn thing outthere.

(01:36:56):
And listen, was like, I'm so hungry.
I was like, well, fucking dad don't know how to fish.
So we're just like walking back to the Caribbean Rd.
That's what I like. Like something that doesn't
directly involve somebody. Like if you walk up to somebody
I love seeing videos of y'all getting shot.
Love it. It makes.
Fucking like knocked wide open like.
Chasing people like when you like, like you have YouTube

(01:37:16):
videos, you chase people and then I read it's like Alabama.
YouTube gets shot and dies. I'm just like.
Something right in the world. One thing and look, you guys
know I'm a person that does not I don't like death, I don't like
wishing for death. I do not like people exploiting
people for profitable gain, which is why fucking I can't

(01:37:37):
stand true grammars ma'am, because they're just like, I do
it respectfully and I make sure to honor the family by telling
you to like and share. So as many people see this so I
get all this fucking. As soon as you monetize
something, it is no longer in the interest of helping other
people besides yourself. Like if you're coming from a
helpful place, like if you're like, you know, this family died

(01:37:59):
and we got a really, you know, everybody's been arrested and
convicted. So what about like all the?
Secrets are over. Wait a second, we're going to do
this video to keep the victim's name alive.
And this video is sponsored by Rage Shadow Legends.
Like, no, it's not like you're not doing it for people anymore.
So what about like the people that make movies based upon real

(01:38:22):
life scenarios? Those were the original Dick
wads. Like though, everything's gonna
be based off something. There's not a unique fucking
like murder mystery you can makeright now that's gonna be
fucking unique to anything. So everything's gonna be based
off something. I just grabbed a lot.
I'll grab the last two. So.

(01:38:44):
So nothing's really gonna be unique.
I can't stand Netflix doing it. That shit's so.
They do it so fast too though. Yeah, like it's like
instantaneous. Like what happened to Gabby
Petito? We saw it live.
And then, like, they'll fucking push their little thing, but
it's like, what if everything you knew about this situation
was wrong? And then you watched the whole
thing and it was like, no, you were right the whole time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just thought.

(01:39:06):
We thought something could be different, but it wasn't so.
You'll see there's all these other things that it possibly
could have been, and so we're gonna take a whole episode to
just pull that thread, and that's not actually what's gonna
happen, but it's gonna keep you watching until the end of the
4th. Success God, man, like imagine
you're just your child getting murdered and then someone just

(01:39:26):
like, all right, spooky goalies,fun.
Today we got a real scary treat for you.
OK, So what would you do if you came home to your child filleted
and stapled to the wall? I couldn't even imagine like I
if I saw that, I would probably faint.
I would probably do that, but tomake sure I don't faint, ice and

(01:39:48):
the smelling salts. Which brings me to today's
sponsor. Bro what?
And like they're like, yeah, this is good, This is good.
Don't be racist online, OK, Don't fucking don't be mean to
people. Don't fucking.
And it's like, but exploit the dead, you know, fucking.
All the worst of humanity is that we don't focus on that, we
focus on, well we could argue and be mean towards each other
so fuck I hate. This you shake and stick at

(01:40:10):
Internet. Right now, yeah.
No, look, I have no I have my old man shake stick at Internet
things bro. We, we, we started with me and
now we're we're finishing that, I think.
Mine is like an actual problem and yours are just like he just
he just minded your business andthe viral viral wouldn't happen.
You sound like an old person that doesn't know what viral is.
You just keep hearing about it. I just have and you were like,
look, I have a if you want to avoid the viral, you just go on.

(01:40:32):
You do your goddamn job, you go home to your family, you pray to
God, OK, You take a shit shower and go to bed.
OK, That and Byron won't come get you.
It won't. It won't come get you at all.
I have a fucking life outside ofmy phone and I don't need.
To but yours was more old man shakes ticket Internet, mine was
more of. Old man shakes ticket.
Internet creator same thing and.Then, like Mr. Bond, just like

(01:40:54):
stares into your soul. The crazy thing is is on Reddit
like it's it's any talk about podcast.
It's always what's the new truth?
Like I need a true crime podcast.
True crime, true crime, true crime, true crime like
everybody. And I think it's mostly women
because women love. Like my wife will not watch a

(01:41:15):
horror movie with me, made-up, fake violence, terror or
anything like that. Will not watch it.
But when you're talking, here's the worst.
Instances of women annihilating their whole families and we will
go through each and every detailabout how they chopped up their
kids and how much pain they felt.
On the edge of her seat all the fucking time for actual
monsters. Like real monsters.

(01:41:35):
Real. Yeah, real.
These exist. Yeah.
This is not like there's a monster under my bed.
No, those don't exist. It'd be like, yeah, there's a
guy staring at me through my window and you're like, what the
fuck? Like those are like, there's
real monsters out, like familiesmurdered, cut up into pieces,
eaten, all that stuff. It's like, oh, I got to watch.
We love it so much. And then you got like, what are
you talking? Some fucking, some fucking just
gooner on the you don't even know what that is, man.

(01:41:57):
God, you are just so uncultured.Jesus.
I'm an old man. All right.
So look, I think I, I think I should get into this real quick.
So just to I what I could do? Look, Dylan teaches me how to be
responsible adult. So I could teach Dylan the ways
of the Internet. OK, so gooners are people who

(01:42:18):
watch porn and they do things like they're they're really into
masturbating and they try to seehow long they can masturbate.
Oh, like edging. Yeah, like edging.
OK, so you know what edging is. OK, so you're halfway there.
All right, so love like, you know, I liked the Gooner memes
as it was coming out. Then like, like, you know, the

(01:42:40):
the kids who are only on the Internet and they have like,
they'll take it too far. Mental disorders and shit like
that. They really become enshrined in
that. So that started this.
We're going to talk about something different.
So it'll kind of lead into it. It'll connect.
OK, so then you have the the Nofap community.
God, I fucking I love Reddit. I go bro, going to Nofap because
if you got it, this is what's sofunny, bro.

(01:43:02):
You can go to anybody on the Nofap Reddit and if they've been
like, I've not masturbated for five months, they're talking
like Gandhi in there. Like they it's like they're
trying to use words. It's like, you know, I've found
my inner being. I found my purpose and shit like
that. I was like, bro, you're, you're
lame as fuck. But that is also that it's the

(01:43:22):
gooner community that is also the Nofap community.
There's people that cannot not think about masturbation.
They're the same. They're just, they're the same.
They're the same and like they'll fucking talk shit about
each other, but they're the same.
They're the same fucking people.What's so funny too, is that
with the Nofap thing and you know, you get fucking people
like, you know, Jake Paul and you're fucking entertaining your

(01:43:43):
guys and be a man and you don't fucking beat your meat and shit
like that. So, you know, as animals, if you
look at animals in the wild, OK,once you stop mating, once
you're out of the, once you're not mating anymore, you die like
your body literally like, like, all right, it's time to fucking
know we're not mating. It's time to just fucking die.
And they're like, man, I feel healthier.

(01:44:03):
I feel like testosterone and shit like that.
I'm going to kill myself. I'm gonna fucking kill myself.
But God, I got the testosterone.Everything is wrong with me
right now, bro. If you, if you cannot stop
thinking about masturbation, if you are a gooner or no Faber.
And it's, it was like funny jokes.
And then I got really thick all right into the like the war they
were having. And I, I couldn't understand it

(01:44:24):
either because it was like, it felt like you were here in two
sides of the same argument. And I was like, I don't
understand what's happening. And then I got into where did I?
Where did I got enlightened? Actually, I can't.
Which subreddit did I get on land on?
Comedy heaven. OK, so I go to comedy heaven and
it's like a it was a Nofap host about a kid who was bragging in

(01:44:47):
the family chat about how he hadbeen sober for masturbation for
10 days. And everybody's like, fuck,
that's nasty, right? We don't want to hear that.
Yeah, like your family, but you should be.
Proud of me, like I am transcending my God damn life.
And he that's how they explain the connection of it's people
who are like chronically thinking about masturbation that
are in these. I was like, wow.
Like I would have never. I was like stuck.
I was just like, I don't there'ssomething here.
There's a piece that's missing. That person was like my Da Vinci

(01:45:09):
Code. Like he fucking he fucking put
that for me there. And I was just like, now I know.
Yeah. They're the same and just.
But God, just if you want a goodlaugh, just go to nofap and
just. I've heard of like.
Go to the no to the yeah, go to the search and just type in like
6 months, seven months, one year.
And as it keeps going on, they'll be like hello fellow
human beings. Today I went.
Outside so is this no like getting off at all So like you

(01:45:32):
can't like hook up with a girl and this is just they do not
pleasure I do I assume they're just the people that don't get
I. Assume this is the Hustler
University. People who didn't like where
Angel tastes like girls don't love you because they're whores
and they're out here sleeping with everybody.
Well, she's not adding up them, brother, because they're
sleeping with everybody and not you.

(01:45:53):
Well, it's because it's because I have self respect and they're
whores that won't sleep with me.It was like, but but you want to
sleep with them. Yeah, but they won't sleep with
me because they're whores. So wait.
Yeah, I did. Did.
None of it makes sense. Yeah, it's just the cornet.
That's what happens when you have the Internet.
Like I should not have a platform.
But isn't like wasn't he the guythat like was talking shit about
women sleeping with all the guysbut he would sleep with like?

(01:46:15):
I'll take care of, OK, take careof his kids and shit like that.
They have different women and a.Shit ton of women and that was.
Like, that's being a guy. Listen.
And Andrew Tay, if you see this,like, fucking, I don't want to
fight you. Like, I just think your opinions
are goofy and you could think myopinions are good.
He's a really good kickboxer. Oh yeah.
That's how he got famous. I do want to say I am from North

(01:46:36):
Carolina, so we have a martial art here called.
Guns. Yeah, projectiles.
So we're all talented in different areas of martial arts.
OK. I'm just saying I'm from like I
am. I am no more than two phone
calls away from a rocket launcher at any moment.
Seriously, we're from the South.Like if I'm just like fuck, I'm

(01:46:58):
like I need. A 7°.
I need AK47 now. I am literally, Well, I'm trying
to call. Yeah, I just call my brother
then. And it's like, hey, bro, hey,
bro. And he'll be like, look at this
modified monstrosity that I have.
I'm like, damn, are you, like, at least gonna like, shoot up
like a shopping mall or something?
He's like, no, it just exists here.
I'm like, well, all right. No, the cans are gonna get it.
Like what? Are you using?

(01:47:18):
He's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, I'll just, I'll
go shoot it sometimes. The the ammo's real expensive,
so I I barely ever shoot it. Yeah, it's only like $100 every
time I take it out. Right?
Title. I want my reach around Mike.
Dear Mike and dill pickle. Dill pickle is what caused this
whole next the whole. Thing yeah but this is my game
like drama y'all are just gonna get like we're gonna talk about
funny shit so we can thumbnail this shit like we could put it

(01:47:41):
in the like what is this AI Epstein and gooners bro?
Who doesn't click on that? Dear Mike and Dill Pickle, I was
planning to show up to meet y'all but two hours into the
three hour trip up there I was Tboned and my car was destroyed.
I am OK and so is everyone involved.
We have since gotten a new car and would love to see you all at
the next meet, hopefully behind Waffle House this time.

(01:48:03):
In all seriousness, kind of gladit happened because I was able
to get my wife her dream car butI'm still sad I didn't get to
meet you guys. So for the love of God please do
another meet up. PS Love those man tits.
Which which tits? Like I'm the one that with my
tits always out. You're the one that's.
You're like a yogurt woman. That's like, I'm sad fat.
Well, my tits are always showingin my shirt.
You're you're always wearing thehoodie because you don't want to

(01:48:25):
do the fat pole. You know, one time I tried to be
real funny. I'm a girl, Amy.
Yeah. And was like, well, just jog a
little bit, yo B scale. And she was like, I was like,
obviously you see the jug. She was like, she was like,
yeah, I see it, I see it. And you're going to be like,
let's food tastes funny. Well, probably not because you
eat it so goddamn fast. But yeah, I would try to.
I'd do a little, but Amy can hold her own against me.
Like she was like, I'll do a little before each bite to see

(01:48:48):
if you're taking a little bit ofClorox.
She was really good. She's like, and lithium bro,
that like don't talk shit because we, we hurt feelings.
I think I've told the when I smoke cigarettes.
And her friend was like, oh, yeah, yeah, your dad.
She was like, she was like your dad, Yeah, but your dad smokes

(01:49:09):
cigarettes. And she was like, yeah, but at
least my dad loves me. And I was like, like, oh, you
can't do that. Like you can.
And I was like, well, you was like, well, when they're.
Yeah. When when she was like, but when
you said when they're bullying, it's no holds bar.
I could talk about if they're fat or you just go for the
easiest thing. And I was just like, yeah,
you're right. Well, you know.
Yeah. Listen, look for a minute.

(01:49:31):
I lost my way and you helped gotme back on that track.
OK? You did that.
OK, because if I see somebody, look, I understand life's hard.
Do you fucking talk shit to me, man?
You guys a fucked up, I'm going for it fucked up grill.
Oh God. There was one guy I argued with
back in the early days of TikTokbefore I popped off.
I did a joke about something andhe shot a video in a room talk

(01:49:56):
shit about me or some shit. It was like the fame was on
brought up a grill like it was just Jack and I did a video back
talking about how I will not like I'm not going to be like
I'm not going to lower myself totalk shit to somebody that's not
I'm not going to do that. Like I obviously like I am a
lion. I I was using like all these.
I was like I am a lion and lionsdo not concern themselves with

(01:50:20):
the opinions of sheep and all this shit.
And I had Nelly grills playing in the background.
So it was like. You were roasting them, but like
not roast like roasting them in the.
Only thing is like, we as Americans, we are pretty stupid
because 99% of it was like, wow,to just talk shit about them.
I didn't. And I was like, oh man, that's
fucking dope. And then the other people were

(01:50:40):
just like, well, listen, if they're being mean, sometimes
you need to stand up for yourself, OK?
You need to, you need to really talk shit to them.
But they could also just not know what a grill is.
I feel like if I say grill to anybody, they're going to know
like teeth or mouth or whatever.Somebody would like try to talk

(01:51:02):
shit to me. They'll be like, you know,
brother, your, your teeth are a little yellow.
I'm like, I fucking did drugs, smoke cigarettes, my whole God
damn life. Literally since nine years old,
I've been doing drugs and cigarettes.
I'm lucky to have teeth all right in there fucking straight.
So listen, I have Dylan throw onthe white light and we'll be

(01:51:23):
good. He knows how to make him not
look like that. So fuck you buddy.
But look guys, we have fucking. I think this we're not, we're
not at 3 hours, but we're probably in the two hour range
now. Oh yeah.
We're definitely, I think we're definitely in the two, but they
wanted this and I don't smoke. So yeah, y'all are getting some
shit, man. Y'all are getting some shit.
We are. God this was fun though.
I think this was our best 1 yet.I just don't feel like compelled

(01:51:45):
to get through something. So I think that's why I would
interrupt so much. I just like, I'm like, Oh well,
we got to get to the point, you know what I'm saying?
We got to do this. And I'm just like, bro, we're
just going to talk. But we might lose people for not
going through a whole stack of advice.
But I think actually it's probably like we this we had
better conversation in this one.Yeah, I mean, we'll definitely
do the advice because the advicelike the dill pickle that

(01:52:07):
fucking started a conversation. But guys, listen, I'm not going
to tell y'all to rate and whatever platform you have or to
comment 'cause you ain't gonna fucking do it.
Don't do it. 2 daddies don't do it. 2 daddies judging baddies
did though, 'cause we had the little argument.
Yeah, MADHD people were like allfirst time.
Yeah, the first time. So cute.
The first time you've seen a spat between Dylan and Mike,
which is so crazy. I'm like, do y'all got like, how

(01:52:29):
are y'all friends? Like y'all don't ever argue,
Never at all. Well, we both of us are so
fucking opinionated and like most of my arguments with you is
because I'm like, you're just like so fucking stuck in this.
Like, that's not really like there's something to like.
And we call each other out too, like you heard like the first
thing I was like, bro, this old man shake stick it like we we do
call that out and sometimes likewe get heated in that moment,

(01:52:51):
but people will be like, Oh, I just don't.
You guys seem like you would never argue.
What do you think? We're just fucking all the time.
Like God damn, we're not objects.
I'm glad you like to think that when it's just, this is just all
just peak sexual male activity. But look, people have feelings,
all right? We are very opinionated.
We have a relationship outside of this like.

(01:53:11):
Sometimes you have stupid opinions like the fucking
amniotic fluid. Well, then you.
That I can look up the fucking they.
Didn't get layered in the amniotic fluid for 5 minutes
before the nurse was. Like like look at.
I know you have people agreeing with you.
No, no, no. No, no, no, I'm saying like
scientifically. I I googled it this morning when
somebody had mentioned something.
Because I saw that too. It's.
Literally through the birth canal you do get.
Like, there's what I'm saying is, is that they damn, they

(01:53:34):
agreed with you, all right? No, they.
Didn't they agreed with you? What did the the amniotic fluid
is? That's how stupid.
I am because I use so many big words.
I'm just like they're agreeing with Dylan.
There's no way no that is they're.
Agreeing with you, but like actually I like just a quick
Google search and it said like technically C-section babies are
not as healthy can can suffer from like not having a strong

(01:53:56):
immune system like advert like ability to not have allergies
and certain things like there, there is something to be said
about regular natural birth versus C-section and not that
I'm saying like C-section babiesare bad, but there is something
to be said about like the actual.
I'm just travel down the 1950s in the 1950s when pop all would

(01:54:17):
slap you across the back of the head with the hands head rings
on and say eat the goddamn food.I'll give a how fuck.
I'll give a goddamn how itchy a goddamn throat is.
This was not a problem. People were getting through it.
Look, I think that honestly, if you start having a peanut
allergy and I'm going to give you a medical advice right now,
just stop it. Like just don't.
Just. Quit.
It's like anxiety. It's like anxiety, just fucking

(01:54:38):
just like, no. Touch the grass.
Yeah, my body is a fortress. My body is.
I hate people giving me like they give the same generic
advice. They'll be like, well, you just
breathe. I'm doing that.
I'm breathing. It's funny because, like, I did
that my whole life, right? Yeah.
People like fight it well. Breathe deeper.
Dylan sees like when I fight, I was like is.
He going to go down. Yeah, I'm going to have to like.

(01:54:58):
Like I can't walk his shit like that.
Is he going to crack his skull on the paper?
He's turning on myself a little,but I've been to the city twice
since quitting smoking yes And both Times Now it was like, I
don't know what's going on, but I think that I don't know if
it's like you got the nicotine in your body, the blood
pressure's up, you're not dealing with like your actual
emotions and shit like that. You're not like regulating.

(01:55:19):
I don't know what it is, but it's been a fuck ton better.
So we're actually about to I'm about to do this thing where I
will. I'm going to do resistance
training because you got to do weight training.
I'm not going to get real into it because I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to loosely, I'm going to go like within you're.
Going to be healthier. Yeah, like a 10% range of
macros. I'm not going to really give it
like my fucking all I am going to do Internet fasting just

(01:55:44):
cause like I have stomach problems, garden shit like that.
So it is just good to not eat. But also I want to wake up and
then just like hit a exercise bike for two hours at a
conversation pace. That means I'm fucking just
lackadaisically doing it while watch TV, listen to some music.
So I want to try that out. If it doesn't work, it doesn't
work. But I'm also doing the
resistance training, so eating better and.

(01:56:05):
It's never going to like not work.
Like yeah, the results may vary on what you get, but like it's,
it's kind of like you not smoking.
That alone is healthier, right? Like it just is.
And so it's not on whether you have 6 pack abs it's well.
You're not healthier. Smoking is not healthier.
If you quit smoking then you gain 50 lbs.
Yeah, no, that's true. But technically the second that

(01:56:28):
you do any sort of exercise, walk for 1/2 mile, you know,
bike for whatever amount of time.
Fuck time, I want to make some fishing content bro.
Standing up so I can healthier than sitting down telling.
Me, we should do some fish content we can do it let's.
Go ahead and wrap this so that Ican go.
Fuck, yeah. All right, Yeah.
I don't know. If you want some advice, go to
mikeanddylan.com. We might get to it later.
We'll. Get to it.

(01:56:48):
We done. Wrap it up.
Yeah, later.

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Epstein AI, Gooners, and Gas Station Racism Gone Wrong | MADHD EP37 |

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Epstein AI, Gooners, and Gas Station Racism Gone Wrong | MADHD EP37 |