FOUND OUT My Dad Isn't My REAL Dad | MADHD Podcast Ep29 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Bear Nimble, Bow down. Mike and Dylan hate drama, but
the Bow Wow. Oh man, look at all the all the
advice. Oh, there's like 12 pages that
is. That's that's a lot of advice
guys. Welcome back to Mike and Dylan
Hate hate drama where we give the people life advice.

(00:22):
And who better to give life advice than a TikTok comedian?
I was going to say a degenerate,but a.
TikTok comedian and then a guy who well, actually Dylan has his
life together and runs pretty successful business.
So he he's pretty good. At life festival but that was

(00:42):
like 2 years ago before I met you.
Right. Yeah, before I dragged, before I
dragged them down. And I was just like, hey, man,
you know, you want to make some content.
I mean, if we would have just started off with like Only Fans,
we would have found our niche bynow.
Yeah, I mean, still there's the whole eating cake with your butt
thing. You might be able to might be
able to make that work. I could do that.
I actually was listening to a podcast the other day and they

(01:04):
were talking about taking down like Pornhub because like, I
think they took down 91% of their content because it didn't
like anybody can upload to it. And so there's like a bunch of
revenge porn and like sex trafficking and all this other
stuff. And I was like, that's pretty
well like that. It just went unchecked for like

(01:25):
13 or no, I guess it's over. Almost coming up on 20.
Years. You making that much money, you
got to overlook the bad stuff. Yeah, you feel in your pockets.
And then once you've made enoughmoney, then you're like, OK, I
guess we'll take it down. Yeah, the way they got to him
was by getting the credit card companies.
Like they're basically were saying like, hey, you're
supporting sex trafficking and like rape and all this other

(01:47):
stuff. And you guys are doing that.
And so they're like, Oh yeah, we'll, we'll stop allowing
Pornhub to. Process and to how and we have
the beard back so now I'm not going to stop touching it but I
found out if I shave the beard then I just like touch my nose a
lot so. You're like, digging in there.
Yeah, with like, a itchy nose hair.
Did you trim your nose hair? No, no, no.

(02:07):
I could be like, this is such a big problem on the podcast.
I look, people just kind of think I do blow before the
podcast. You know what?
For Father's Day, I'll get you anose hair trimmer.
But then I have to use said nosehair trimmer too so.
But fuck, I always forget what Iwas about to talk about.
Yeah, you just keep rolling on into the next one.
Oh yeah, no, but you see how instead of like, you know, going

(02:31):
out in the streets and fucking destroying shit, which has been
like the fad for the past 15 years on on trying to get stuff
changed. People were like, Oh, well,
we'll just go after the credit card companies tell them that
we're going to stop using them if they keep if they keep
fucking, you know, using Pornhubor or their credit cards are

(02:54):
usable over on pornhub and shit changed.
Man, if people would just learn that you, if you want a company,
a government, whatever, to fix apolicy, you take what they love
most, which is money. Yeah, take what they love most,
which is money. We go out there and fucking, you
know, destroy a couple shops. I mean, it's good for news.
It's good for publicity. I ain't going to lie.

(03:16):
It is really good for awareness.But then I mean, a, the big
companies, they don't even care.They're making all their shit
back with insurance. The insurance company loves it,
the media loves it. Like everybody's making so much
money when people got there and do that.
What is the incentive to then change anything?
Not much. Right.
You just are like, OK, well, fuck it, we're not going to use

(03:38):
you anymore. We're not going to fucking buy
your product anymore. And then I hit, wait a minute,
brother. What do you mean?
We can, we can change all this. We can.
We can fix everything. See, I think the hard part
though is like you have to basically just stop using it
forever. And like, that's one of the
things. It is not hard bro.
Like listen. Well, everybody does all these
like protests and like, we're not going to do this.

(04:00):
And then they do it for like twoor three days a week and like
that's never going to change anything.
That's the fucking problem. Problem, man.
Look, liberals, all right? I'm looking at you guys like
there's there's things that the left goes that like problems
that arise that I fuck with and I'm like, all right.
And then they're like, we're just going to shit on normal

(04:22):
people that feel differently than us and actually like try to
change the problem. It was like the Starbucks
situation. Just don't fucking go to
Starbucks. They couldn't even do that.
Like they can't even do that. If you find something
egregiously wrong and you're like, hey, well.
They stopped buying Teslas though.
They never were buying Tesla. Yeah, they were the original

(04:44):
people would glop at it. Yeah, but the fucking that's a
funny guy, Elon, such a fucking moron.
How do you how do you go from because you're right, like the a
lot of the, you know, eco friendly, save the earth Tesla's
and then he's like, you know what, I'm going to shit all over
those guys. Because he need to open up a new

(05:04):
market and so you got like a bunch of.
But that market was like, we ain't buying that God damn show.
I'm going to use my fucking diesel truck.
What are you talking about, Elon?
So then he shits on the people who buys his cars.
The other side's not really buying his cars.
So then he's like, I'll fuck, I got it.
Now flip it again. Which technically the, I mean,
the only reason that Elon did that whole shit with Trump is so

(05:25):
everybody would like take their eyes off of what was going down
in fucking Memphis, TN with his supercomputer just destroying
the poor part of Memphis. I mean, mother fuckers down
there can't breathe. But I don't know, you, you start
arguing with the president, thenthat takes the that takes the
eyes off of, you know, the terrible shit that you're doing.

(05:47):
Like, he doesn't, he doesn't fucking care.
He's like talking shit about thebig beautiful bill, I guess,
which is dog shit. And then, yeah, doing the
insinuations with, you know, he helped Donald Trump during the
election and all that shit, all of that.
Just to be like, you know, a, cuz he's like, look, look,
liberals, I need y'all to, I need y'all to buy some Teslas

(06:08):
again. And then B to be like and also
just don't pay attention to what's going on in Memphis.
I bet he got quite a few right wingers to buy like a cyber
truck and stuff like that. Not like farmers, not like Joe
Schmo, but like there was a. Lot of cyber trucks.
So obviously they were a ton. Yeah, they were.
And I guess maybe that's why he did the like, the like the

(06:31):
sudden flip was because he's like, we got this truck coming
out. So who buys trucks?
Yeah, there you go. I mean, it could be, but yeah,
no, it's, it's just wild. Like that's my thing is 'cause,
you know, my parents are definitely left left of center
to say it nicely. And they're always like, well,

(06:52):
we're not doing this anymore. And they're good about it,
though they'll go like, you know, forever without actually
doing it. But I'm like for the most, for
the most part, like with like I know everybody was like up in
arms about like Walmart. One of the heiresses of Walmart
was supporting the no kings rallies and stuff like that.
And like we're not trumping at Walmart anymore.

(07:12):
And it's like, how long are you actually going to hold up with
that? Because like eventually it's
going to be like, this is reallyinconvenient.
Maybe we should go get this at Walmart until they and then it's
back to. Until they find out that what?
So Walmart was back in that movement.
One of the like daughters. Here's the thing about
businesses, man. God damn it.
I understand you want to do youryou want to show support.

(07:38):
Yeah, I'm throwing this up. Support.
It's just like a pride month shit.
You throw a fucking rainbow on your logo because you're like,
we need that gay money. We.
Didn't do that for MADHD. Should we do that for this
month? I mean, I we're not all the way
done with it. Oh yeah, yeah, we could do it
for labor. Llama fucking have a rainbow on
it. But it is essentially to be
like, hey, you know, we're the good guys.
We want your money, We want yourmoney.

(07:59):
Which is stupid again, because look, companies do it.
Companies are just, I feel I don't know what the marketing
people are thinking because so firstly, you got the Budweiser,
they have the Dylan Mulvaney doing the Budweiser.
Thing with the craziest thing about that, though, was like,
they literally offered that to like hundreds and hundreds of

(08:21):
influencers. And so that was just one of the
people that got it. It wasn't, but then somebody saw
it and like lost their mind about it.
But like, they literally did that for like a shit ton of
people and they just happened topick a transgender person as one
of the people. It wasn't like they're like,
this is our spokesman. They just offered it to a bunch
of people. One of them was transgender and
then they're. Like, Oh my God, Bud Light.

(08:42):
I'm like Kid Rock, I'm going to shoot them all.
Right, yeah, I'm going to shoot all my Bud Lights.
And then Bud Light was like, we're working with the UFC now
and they were like, all right, we're back fucking you.
Yeah. I mean, I love look, I enjoy the
the UFCI. You drinking bud light now?
Here's the shitty part though isbecause once I'd be talking
shit. So that's what loses us all

(09:04):
opportunities. All opportunities is the UFC
pays fighters like garbage, complete shit.
I mean terrible. And now me saying that, fuck,
I'll never be able to just, you know, do anything with those
guys. But I I mean I couldn't anyways
because they do get fucking justpaid horrendously.
Like everybody up and down the ticket or a lot.

(09:26):
Of people get paid like, you know, 5:00 and 5:10 and 10:00,
which is 10,000 to show, 10,000 to win from a company that last
year probably profited at around$1.5 billion.
And people are like, well, they got 1000 fighters on their card.
Do $1.5 billion or 1.5 billion /1000 and tell me people can make

(09:47):
a little bit more money. Well, and there's difference
between profit and revenue, likeif you did 1.5.
That's what they profit. That's what I'm getting.
That's gross. It's like so that is after
paying all the. After paying everything, that's
what they had to work with to pay more fighters.
And I mean UFC is the essentially the NFL of mixed

(10:08):
martial arts. That is where you want to make
it to. So you got these kids who are
just like, you know, killing themselves to get up there.
And I mean I kind of understand from a standpoint, but then the
fighters have they're not makingmore money.
The price for bro, if I want to watch every UFS, I got priced
out of watching UFC like you have to.
So you have to have ESPN plus, which charges you a monthly

(10:31):
thing and then each pay-per-viewis around 70 to $90.00 per
pay-per-view. And then and then they'll have
some fight nights over here on fucking.
They got a big one coming on ABCI.
Don't even know what the fuck I got that gets ABC.
That's why I say if you're goingto watch UFC, go to TikTok live,
bro, TikTok live be killing it. And now I said something so

(10:53):
they're going to fucking they'regoing to fucking know about
that. But like, you got these
companies that just want to lookgood because, you know, they
want people to buy their product.
And it's so stupid because they just, they just they, they get
behind the wrong shit. Like when Tractor Supply was
doing the gay pride parades and stuff like that, Like, cool, you

(11:18):
won't get people money. I don't know the percentage of
farmers that are gay. You know, I'm saying like
they're that are really just like out there.
Like could you imagine going to a farm?
It's just a guy fucking out there, assholes.
Chaps cowboy hat just is my farm.
That's the crazy thing though, because like farmers really are
like I think a lot of them there's still, there's always

(11:40):
that minority that's going to give people a bad name.
But farmers I feel like are the epitome of like, leave me the
fuck alone. I don't care what you do.
Like just leave me the fuck alone.
You do what you want to do and just leave me here to to do what
I need to do. I had another one, it was
tractor supply that. Been in Carhartt.
Budweiser. I don't I don't remember what
Carhartt did. Cohort they.

(12:05):
Fuck if I know. I don't fucking know.
Tractor Supply did that. There was another one, Elon.
All of them do. It yeah, all of them do it and
they're just like I don't know it's so easy to tell though that
a I'm just doing this so this demographic will buy my stuff,
which I mean bro, listen, it's it's terrible because you do it

(12:28):
just because you want people to buy your shit.
It's then moronic when it goes against your actual bases
fucking you know what they like and shit like that.
The majority of people that keepyour company running bro, if
labour llama, look, I'm poor brother if labour llama was
fucking hoisted up by just like,you know the fucking worst type

(12:48):
of people, I'm not going to be like say shit against them.
You know, we so labour llama when we created that it's for
like blue collar workers and whether you like to believe
that, you know, blue collar workers are mostly left, mostly
right. It's like split down the middle.
Yeah, it's pretty 5050. So I mean, the, I don't know,

(13:12):
the shit that we could do is like, because we're going to be
doing advertisements for pretty soon, a ad type thing, if you
will, and me and we already havethe, I think we're going with
the one we originally planned, right?
Yeah. The one with the supervisor,
because you know, it's you ain'tgot to be political to sell

(13:35):
shit. So life alarm is not going to be
political to sell shit. We made one that was just like,
just like this goofy ad that wasjust kind of like poking fun at
the left, but then they were on the right.
They did have a, a substantial, just like Nazi movement on the
far on the far, far right. I'm not talking about, you know,
normal people who are Republicans, just like the crazy

(13:55):
ones. They had a Nazi movement.
So I was like, oh man, this ad that and already struggling.
New businesses are fucking struggling.
And we blew 5. $1000 on this ad that we shot, we was like, well,
can't fucking send this out. I didn't think that was going to
happen. And then what's so funny too, is
like, you know, a couple of my friends on Facebook, they were
like changing their fucking profile pictures to like Hitler

(14:18):
with like a cowboy hat on and shit like that.
And then I started seeing posts of, well, you know, if you read
the real history and when what Hitler was a bad and I'm just
like, God damn it, man, fuck. Why can't, why can't we just be
fun? Look, it used to be fun.
We, we used to just say little jokes about each other.
You know, I'm saying like just fucking crack back and forth.
We used to talk about real issues.

(14:40):
And now, and The funny thing is though, is the far left, like
the real crazy far left, they also have Nazi tendencies and
both sides call each other Nazis.
And there was the dark episode. Look, I'm going to talk a little
bit about the dark episode and why.
It will never come out because we don't have the footage for
it. And we don't have the footage

(15:00):
for it, but there was an instance where I said I'm going
to show them what real Nazis are.
I'm going to start a Nazi movement.
All right. I would be the new.
Hitler to get everybody to come to get.
Everybody to come to that though, but the the point of the
argument was is like during 9/11, we came together as a
nation. So that's what we need is
another 911 and who better than you know what I'm saying?

(15:20):
Like if I feel real. I think this is how manifestos
are made though. Yes yeah.
I really I'm just I'm like that side I.
Solved it. I know how to fix this.
And let me write it down real quick and then. 45 pages maybe?
All these guys are just like Mike and they have good
intentions, but when they start writing it down, the ADHD takes
over. I don't know.
I've never read a manifesto of somebody who's committed a

(15:42):
atrocity. I think millions of people
dying, I think that's, that's where you can't say like, well,
maybe they had some good. No, they didn't.
If it equals that, that's no, there's no good ideas here.
I don't know, man. It's just they're, people start
to think that like the majority of people are the people who are
on the four sides of the spectrum and they're not 99.9%

(16:05):
of people are right, center, left, center.
You know what I'm saying? There's people that are like,
oh, I agree with, you know, someof this on the right and I agree
with some of this on the left, but it's, I don't know, that
doesn't make for a good show. Well, it's whenever you talk
about groups of people rather than because like when I was
working at one place, they're like, you know, black people

(16:26):
this and black people that. And I was like, well, what about
this black guy that we work? No, no, he's different.
And I'm like, no, he's not like that.
Is that like there's a bad people in all groups?
But like, as soon as you just put a label on it, like gay
people this, transgender people,this black people, this, like as
soon as you put it in a group and take it away from like the
people you know, the people thatyou know in your community.
Like once you start saying like,OK, when I'm talking about a gay

(16:50):
person, I do know a gay person that is a decent person.
Well, think about it that way rather than just like the worst
ones that have been shined a light on by the media.
Like think about them as the person that you know, that might
be transgender and they might bea shitty person too.
A couple. Transgender people.
I have never met one that was like, it's ma'am.
I've never ever like if I fuckedor if I fucked up.

(17:12):
You know what I'm saying with the pronouns.
Difficult. Anyways, I look, I don't give a
fuck, but I never met one that was like, fucking just like
what? What?
You want to fucking take it to your brother Like I've never
this never happened. But once again, that's all about
you want people to watch your shit.
So you have to be real crazy with it.
You have to be just like Outland, essentially a

(17:35):
caricature. Yeah, of what your side
represents, because that's the only way people watch it
anymore. Well, I think if you're like
disrespectfully, like, you know,somebody says hey, like I'm a
woman, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
If you slip up, that's one thing.
If you're doing it in a hateful way, it's a different thing.
Like just be decent to people. That's.
It I'm not going to partake in their fantasies Yeah shut just

(17:57):
shut the fuck up man Like God damn like it is so easy.
There ain't been a motherfuking law change.
Nothing fucking changed. Just cuz someone was like, I'm a
woman. Ain't nothing happened.
Look, bro, just shut the fuck up.
If you don't look, if you can't comprehend it, you can't wrap
your mind around it. Rd. just shut the fuck up.
It doesn't fucking affect you. If there was one day, like one

(18:17):
day if they were, you know, lawmakers were like, you have to
bow down to transgender people and allow them to cut in front
of you in line when you're at a grocery store.
Start talking shit. Yeah, start fucking talking.
But other than this man and they'll be like, well, you know,
they're attacking our children. How about shut the fuck up
because you got a whole motherfucking list of people,
rich people who are attacking your kids.

(18:37):
What the fuck happened with that?
Nothing, nothing. We went back to The Who might be
fucking with our kids. That's why I can't stand that
shit man. Like all these fucking there's
are big podcasts out there that still talk about well, this
person when they need to be checking, you know, his history.
Y'all have a whole motherfuckinglist.
And until you do something aboutthat.
And they're never. Going to shut the fuck up man

(18:58):
like this whole deporting Mexicans man like I fucking I
already told y'all Mexican my favorite race.
Why die if there's reincarnationbro put a sombrero on me baby.
My thing is is a motherfucker. They wake up and they do the
jobs that nobody in this fuckingcountry wants to do at all, not

(19:19):
even in their fucking like bro, just once again, white people
and black people are y'all mighty'all like to think that y'all
are just like completely different and y'all are
separated and y'all have these just like fucking unique
cultures. Y'all y'all might have different
shit that goes on inside of yourhouse.
Y'all are the same motherfuckingpeople with the same greed, the
same just what it? What is it the opposite of

(19:44):
empathy apathy. You have the fucking apathy for
everybody fucking else. Y'all are y'all are one and the
same. So if you were going to deport
people, if we're like, hey, we want to make this country
better, just go to a sheets at sundown and just take the people
that are in front of it, bro. Like the people that are like
barraging you about hey man you got $0.75 If you did that

(20:04):
instead of going after Mexicans like the fucking culture would
be better. That aren't actually
contributing and could contribute but choose.
Not to. What about all the gang members?
Every fucking race has gangs, OK?
Well then get rid of the gangs, but not the.
People that aren't like, yeah, we're cool with that, but also
back to the white and black gangs too.
Like fucking deport them. Don't deport the Asian ones

(20:24):
though, because for some reason they're the only ones that when
you think about like an Asian gang, you're like, oh that's
cool bro. Once they got swords, once you
ride crotch rockets and using swords and shit like you have,
you have transcended gang culture into something that's
like. All right, you're going to
include all this in your manifesto.
Yeah, my manifesto. And that's why I targeted no
Asians. Fucking Jesus.

(20:45):
We're going to get to some. We're going to get to some
advice. And we started a new rule.
I told Mike he's not allowed to shuffle these anymore because we
have so many. And if we keep mixing them up,
like a lot of these aren't goingto like surface.
And we have a stack. We'll get to what we get to.
OK, Yeah, we'll get. To all of them at some point in
episodes but. Because if I just read through
these, how am I going to be ableto dissuade people with my flip

(21:06):
floppy? Political speak isn't.
It going to be funny, one of thestacks like this tall and we
just can't get through them all.Maybe.
All right, here we go. I don't think it'll ever get
that big, Dylan. That's what she said.
That's what I said when I was a kid, and then puberty really
surprised me by confirming what I thought.

(21:26):
All right, the title says my dadisn't my dad.
Listen, we've all been here, dear Mike and Dylan.
I'll try to keep this concise. Lies.
You failed, but that isn't my strongest quality to start with.
A little back story, my parents split in 2017 by my mother just

(21:46):
randomly leaving one day saying she was done packing up and
driving away. At this point they had been
married for roughly 22 years. I was 25 at the time married and
my wife and I lived on our own. We also have younger siblings.
2116, both or at the time both living with our parents.
After my mother left me and my siblings cut all ties and
communications with her for quite some time.

(22:08):
Eventually my sister the youngest got back into touch
with her and they have a close relationship and she has cut our
father out. I've also cut my father out
roughly 2 years ago after finally realizing the kind of
person he is. A master manipulator,
narcissist, man whore, and just overall a shitty person with a
bunch of other negative qualities I won't get into right
now. Anyways to get up to what I'm
asking for advice on nice and I like the the preclude we got

(22:32):
some back story off of people will be like listen bro is my
wife a bitch for doing this and I was like what happens?
Give us some details. Right.
Unless it's like one of those like nuclear moments in a
relationship. Suck three guys Dicks in front
of me. Yeah, I'm like, well, you know,
I don't. I don't need much more than.
That yeah, I don't need much more than that to be like, hey,
also, I don't know why you sent this in.

(22:52):
What? Did you do to make her suck?
I want. To know what you did, to have to
send this in for advice, for me to be like to pick a fucking
ethical side. Hey, just for don't pull the
maps. Mayonnaise Dick.
Yep, mayonnaise Dick. Last year my wife convinced me
into doinganancestry.com test that she was already going to do
because she wanted to find out more on our family history and

(23:13):
my knowledge on that was slim because nobody ever really
wanted to share that stuff with me and I no longer had
communication with either parent.
After doing the ancestry test and seeing the results and
apparent relatives I've never heard of, we got inquisitive.
My wife loves doing Internet andFacebook deep dives on people.
All women do. Yep we have a rough out here.

(23:34):
Bro did. You see this five years ago.
All of them are detectives. Yeah.
So through her digging, found out a couple different options.
But either way, the man that raised me and I was told my
father and I was told was my father was not.
My real biological father isn't.That pretty much your story
except for not through ancestry and all that stuff, but like.

(23:54):
I mean, it was. You went the longest time
thinking that your dad was your dad.
That was there was your dad, butit wasn't.
Right, that he was not there Well.
Till you were three. Yeah, like I said, the real dad,
he left before I was born and the dad that was like I'm a step
up and raise this boy. He left when I was like 4 so.
It was all your fault. Too.
It was yes, I'm a terrible. I'm a terrible kid.

(24:16):
There's a full episode. I think it's like episode 3.
We should like, get like a so then when we drop these, we're
like, yeah, go back to episode 3for Mike's family history
episode. I don't know if people when they
start watching a podcast if theygo back to episode.
One well, most people listen, Mike, I know you keep thinking
that people watch I. Don't know.
I don't know how podcasts work. After debating for a month on
what to do, I finally got in touch with my mother recently

(24:38):
and she did tell me the truth. Or at least her side of the
story to my life. Apparently my biological father
was a guy she dated back in the day and was a serious
relationship. But after finding out she was
pregnant with me he said she wasto either get an abortion or get
out of his house. So she left him and kept me and
never had any more connection with him.
But now to this day I'm 33 yearsold and just found out my dad

(25:01):
who just found out that my dad isn't who I've been told he was
my whole life by everyone in my family and had kept it a secret
from me. The one that raised her wasn't
actually her dad. That's what I got.
I got that. I got that part.
What part are you confused about?
Then had the youngest a handful of years later.

(25:21):
So my siblings are only my half siblings as a surprise to me and
I have a whole other side of family members that were unknown
to me until now. Turn this piece of paper.
Should I try to connect with my bio father and or other family
members after finding all this out more than connecting with
him? I'm curious about any possible
family health history as I've been running into more health

(25:44):
issues as well. Also my main concern is that
everyone lied to me my entire life until now and that doesn't
really help me. Want to recreate any family ties
with anyone who knew all this and never said anything.
Hopefully that didn't take too long and to make the show or
hopefully that didn't take too long to make the show.
Sorry I tend to ramble like Mikeduring longer stories, but

(26:05):
wanted to make sure to include everything is possible to help
my situation. Love all the content and it's
one of the things I look forwardto listening to to get me
through my work day. Keep it up guys.
All right, so look reconnection.At the end of the day, anybody
can tell you anything that they can give you any kind of advice,
whatever. You ain't going to feel better

(26:26):
until you do what you want to do.
Me, I was like, ah, you know, I talked to him and everything
like that. But when it when it came time to
meet him, I was like, I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck. I too had one shitty side.
I looked at the other side. I was like look, can it be any
better just because somebody is shares blood with you?
Like I said, all the blood relationships I have, I have met

(26:48):
people who do not share my bloodthat that care about me more as
a person than than they do. So ultimately talking to these
people is up to you. I think that talking to your bio
father is only going to cause pain because he obviously told
your mom he was like get an abortion or get out of my house.
So I don't think over time he would have grown to like you,

(27:09):
grown to love you. You know what I'm saying?
Like missed you in any way, shape or form.
But once again, that is you're going to have questions, you're
going to have unanswered things until you try to talk to them.
As far as other by a family, listen, you're pretty much
correct. Like it you can recreate those
family ties and then maybe like one of them, like you really

(27:32):
fuck with and you know, you share similarities and stuff and
you have a good relationship. That's cool.
But also there's just like people who share the you know,
they share the same interests asyou do that they share the
fucking the same things you likeand shit that are not going to
be blood related that you can have just a good just as good of
a connection with without them having to be family.

(27:54):
So the whole family thing is really blown out of proportion.
Just because someone is blood toyou should I mean, honestly, you
should not give them any bias. If they're great to you, that's
amazing. Having a great father, having a
great mom, having a great, you know, sibling, grandparents,
whatever. That is really, really good.
But a lot of people aren't goingto have that.
A lot of people do have a lot ofpeople aren't going to have that

(28:15):
and you're not going to be able to, you know, brush that off as
easily because of the whole ideaabout somebody being blood
connected that they are, you know, owed certain like leeway
and shit in life. Like they can fuck up so many
amount of times because they're blood related to you, like they
can fuck you over or whatever. And then that you're supposed to
some for some reason magically forgive them.

(28:36):
If any stranger did that to you,you'd be like, fuck that guy.
Like I don't want to. I don't want to hang around that
person. So ultimately that's your shit.
I do hate that you have a shittyfather and a what looks like a
shitty mother. Also, 22 pretty poo poo parents,
I'm going to assume because of how your mom and dad are that
the man that she even before he was like abortion or get out of

(28:58):
my house, the man that she was with, I'm probably assuming she
doesn't pick great people. So like I said, it's it's
ultimately up to you because no matter what I tell you, if
you're the type of person that can't you have to have closure,
then you're going to have to getthe closure.
So, I don't know, just sit back and decide on whether
emotionally you can handle meeting people that are probably

(29:20):
not going to now, you know, the siblings and shit maybe, but
ultimately another parental figure that's not going to
really care about you. Yeah, I, me personally, just
from like your back story and everything, I, I think finding
the dad is the least of your concern.
I think finding family that might be related outside of

(29:41):
that, like if he was a shitty guy, doesn't mean that everybody
else in that family is a shitty person.
But I mean, if it is something that's like missing in your mind
now that you don't know part of your whole life, it's worth like
looking into and finding some information on maybe.
Drugs. Man, that really fills the whole
pretty well. Just so fucking snort your line

(30:02):
of coke and see how much you care about it.
You know I spent like 5 minutes while you rambled on and didn't
interrupt you once to let you finish.
That was important. If it's important, I feel like
we should say it, OK, you know, if it was important.
But I, I feel like it's one of those things where you know,
you, you are in a situation where you might, are you biting
your tongue over there? No, no, no, I'll just.
Fucking with you. But if you if you feel like it's

(30:24):
going to add to your life by just kind of pulling on that
thread and you don't actually have to have anything good come
of it, like you could meet them and they could be shitty and
you're like, OK, well, that's done.
But the mystery of that side of things, I could see where you
would want to reach out and, like, at least find out who
these people are, especially if they're like, somewhat close in
your geographic area where you're not having to travel

(30:46):
from, like, you know, New York to California to do it.
I think if it's pretty easy, it's worth the, if you do have
that mystery going, just go ahead and pull that thread and
make the connection. Say like, hey, yeah, your dad
was a piece of shit, right? Yeah.
He was my biological dad and told my mom to get an abortion.
Yeah, they could totally fuck with each other, all that, yeah.

(31:06):
And so you might, and whether you guys become friends or
family or anything after that, that's, you know, up to you guys
and how the relationship plays out.
But if it's like there's something there that you want to
just like kind of put a bow on, go do it.
But if it's something that you really don't care about and
you're worried about hurting yourself in the process of
finding out all that other stuff, leave it alone.

(31:27):
But like, it's really a personaldecision.
And like, some people really have to know all those details.
And some people are cool. Like, well, yeah, that's that
was the past. And if you're a freak, you do
have to, you have to realize that Oh my God, step sibling,
I'm stuck in the dryer is a lot different than Oh my God, half
sibling, I'm stuck. Yeah, that's that's what that's

(31:48):
why it creates those lumpy babies.
We're going to get into the nextone.
Yeah. Just just just ultimately it's
if you want closure or not. Once again, there are other
options doing drugs, just not giving a fuck and going about
your day man and enjoying your life with your friends and your
girlfriend seems pretty good. So I think I think you are
definitely turning the corner onthe whole whole life shit.

(32:11):
All right, so this one, the title of this one is am I the
asshole for testicle pain? Which I was like, I don't know.
I don't know how this could be written to where.
Well, she ties them up in like band or with rubber bands and
stuff and he wants to take the rubber.
Band yeah, you know a lot about the the BBBDSM stuff I'm.
Just thinking it up in my head right now.
What does BDSM stand for? Big Dick muscle.

(32:31):
No, I can't remember. Serpent.
I don't fucking know, Big Dick Muscle serpent.
Muscle serpent is a great one, bro.
And then she hopped on my. Masticism, isn't it?
And then what's? It's not sadism.
I have no idea. We're going to get roasted by
anybody. That's like.
Well, especially, yeah, we're going to get roasted by people
that are like, I watch a ton of BDSM, you know, that's.

(32:53):
What all those like romance romance novels are?
Is that all of them or is that just?
That was 50 Shades of grey. And my wife listens to those
books all the time and I call them smut books.
And she's like, they're not, they're fantasy books about like
fighting Dragons and stuff. And it's crazy how every time I
just happened to walk in while she's listening to one of these
books, it'll say some shit like,he sheathed his cock inside of

(33:14):
me. And I was like, that's a fantasy
book about Dragons. Yeah.
His meat dragon. Shut up.
Smut books. So I always call them smut
books. She hates that shit.
I, 31 male, have a girlfriend, 27 female.
We've been together for five years.
Sometimes we go out with her mother, her mother's friends and
my girlfriend's brother, 17, male.
Sometimes we go out with her mother's friend and my

(33:37):
girlfriend's and my girlfriend Brother, 17 male.
OK, today we went to our mother friend's house because the
previous tenants left without notice and we all went together
and one car to check the property out.
On the way there we packed on the On the way there we were
packed in with five people, two in the front and three in the
back and a small car, two in thefront, three in the back.

(33:57):
Where? Have you seen that porn?
That does sound like a porn. I previously had damage done to
one of my testicles and if I touch it in any way I have a
sharp pain and when we were jam packed in there I started having
pain and decided to stretch my legs out a bit.
My girlfriend's brother started to fight me about the space and
stretch stretched his legs out even more.
I had to close my legs completely and the pain started

(34:18):
to get worse. When I looked over at him he was
sitting comfortably and when I asked him to give me more space
he told me to stop complaining. Later when he made a comment
saying he feels better in that spot I commented yeah because
you have all that extra space and then my girlfriend said to
stop complaining about it. I had to tell them I had pain
but was ignored. I then became irritated because

(34:39):
I had pain for almost an hour and I got quiet and didn't speak
to anybody. Later when we got home my
girlfriend became angry with me saying I was rude and started
ignoring me. I expressed myself that I was in
pain and was angry that she had sided with her brother and I
only wanted space, not because it was unfair he had more room,
but because I was in pain and wanted some leg.
She's still ignoring me and is very angry with me.

(35:00):
What should I do? So am I the asshole for being
angry about my testicular pain? You a 31 year old man?
Well, then you. Smack that 17 year old in the
head and you gotta close your fucking legs, boy.
I got man nuts over here. Man nuts, You hear me?
Ah, backhand the shit out of you.
And then when my girlfriend was like, you can't hit my bra.
But bitch, that is literally therelationship.
Like we're together and if you ever want to get married, that's

(35:20):
gonna be my brother-in-law. And if you tell me I can't smack
my brother-in-law inside of my head, brother-in-law, first word
is brother. So I'm going to treat you, you
like a brother. I'm gonna smack you upside your
head until you close your goddamn legs.
Only 1717? Yeah, you balls ain't got that
much semen in it, boy. Well, and The thing is, is
obviously if you have testicularpain, isn't that communicated

(35:41):
with your girlfriend? Like doesn't your girlfriend
know that you have an issue withyour balls?
Like I mean, rough sex and stufflike that?
Wouldn't she know that? Hey, maybe, maybe we cater to
his. It could be one of those
situations where, like, you know, you're hanging out with a
group of friends and you're like, all right, look, I'm gonna
get on all fours and you push Jamie, push Jamie over, and it's

(36:01):
gonna be real funny. We're like, all right, So we do
it. And then Jimmy's laying there
and he's like, you guys know I have back back pain and back
surgeries and I got back condition like, well, you have.
This is breaking news, but that is breaking news.
You have never mentioned that one time in your life.
My bad. Not a singular time.
Yeah, sometimes you got to be. You have to be assertive,
especially as a man. You got to be assertive because
as soon as you or not, like if you once again, not a lot of

(36:24):
situations arise, don't you? Like if you're at a grocery
store and shit, there's not going to be many situations that
arise where you got a fucking, you got a fucking man, you got
to be a man. You essentially got a man up.
I'll give you. Why wouldn't be riding a bitch
in a car if there's a 17 year old like you sit next to your
sister, like I'm sitting over here and I'm man man spreading
or whatever they call it. Like, no, I'm not.

(36:44):
I wouldn't even put myself in the position of like, where were
you sitting in the middle, like girlfriends sit in the middle or
whatever the fuck. I like you not.
I'll give them two examples of what I mean.
OK, so Speedway, I'm there everyday. 20 minutes later.
Yeah, Speedway, every single dayI go there, I'm going to give
you 2 different scenarios that happened.
One scenario, like I'm standing there, a guy had already been

(37:06):
standing there and he's holding like all of his stuff.
And I'm standing in a way where it kind of looks like I'm ahead
of him. They, it's one of the like 2
lanes. You're supposed to line up in
one, but nobody knows how to do that because we're all
Neanderthals. Jesus, that that's one thing
that pisses me off. You don't know how to use a like
a dual lane drive through and ora dual lane line.

(37:26):
It's just super fucking annoying.
So then it opens up and the guy like, like he's a good go ahead,
Sir, I don't know. But you were standing here
first. Like just go ahead and do it.
Which obviously that guy was, you know, just, yeah, well, not
well, you should have because hefucking just like shifted his
head down real quick and just was like, oh, no, go ahead.

(37:46):
And I was like, oh, no, you werehere first, man, like go ahead.
But then also I'll be standing there and then somebody will
like go to walk up and I'll, I'll put my hand down.
I'm like, you know, you gonna see me standing here, You know,
you just walk up and then I'm like, Nah, I'm walk up there and
fucking I'm I'm a walk up to theline.
Something like obviously some people are going to be non what

(38:07):
is the confrontational? Yeah, non confrontational.
And they're not going to want todo that.
But you got to fucking. You got to be assertive,
especially if because you're going to get especially in this
where you're going to get taken advantage of if you are not
fucking just at least because I think people think that being
confrontational will lead to aggression or stuff like like I

(38:29):
said, I even worded it like you see me standing here like I
worded it like a Dick. I know 100% you guys could tell
how I talk to people you know out in public.
I'm not like a Dick, but it's normally not the way it's
supposed to come off. 99 times out of 100, she's not going to
escalate to a fight. Like no person, and especially a
person that understands anythingabout fighting is not going to

(38:52):
want to fight over something as mundane as that.
So you're pretty good. You could just fucking.
You got to cut in line in that situation.
You do have to be like, man, give me some fucking leg room.
Especially if they know about your testicular pain.
Yeah, I ain't doing that whole. Well, just be transparent about
it. Be like my fucking nuts.
Hurt my nuts. Hurt man.
My God damn fucking. You got little 17 year old nuts.
Why did they put the man in the back though?

(39:14):
I don't know, respect for the mom and the friend Fuck.
That shit once again, fuck that shit.
But like why wasn't sister in the middle or brother in the
middle? Like why?
Like he had to have been in the middle for it to be like that.
Closed in or else home homeboy was in the middle.
And was there knees touching? But like I would just push like
whose legs are stronger? Yours are the 17.
Year old my brother. I'd sack tap the shit out of

(39:35):
them. Now, if I was riding in a car
with my oldest brother, I would like try to shift my legs in
because I shit, you know, I mean, when we were 15, we were
out at my dad's house and. Air quotes for that for the
listeners. Yeah, my cousins were there.
So you get a bunch of fucking, you know what I'm saying?

(39:55):
We're going to wrestle. It's WWE.
When we all get together, boy cousins, like all we do is
fight. And like, you know, videos you
see where people are like, picking each other up and
slamming people through tables and we're jumping off houses and
shit. That's what happens when boy
cousins get together. That's the type of shit that
would happen. So we're out there wrestling and
shit, and my cousin Rodney goes up to wrestle my brother.

(40:16):
And while they're wrestling, Rodney falls on my brother's
nuts. Crushes it.
Crushes crushes it like it the the way a testicle is, it's
round. His is not like when you think
of crushes, it's flat. It's it's when it's anything
other than a shape of Oval. It fucked the shit up.
And he said it was like the sizeof a mango for I was never like

(40:39):
you show me your nut sack. But he said it was like the size
of a mango for a month and it was fucked up.
But the funniest part about thatscenario was while he's sitting
there on the ground in the fetalposition like screaming in
agony. There's this beautiful little
butterfly flying around his ass and sometimes it would land on
his ass and they'd like get backup and it'd fly a little bit and
it'd land on his ass again. I just thought that was that was

(41:01):
funny. So a funny nut sack story is I,
I don't even remember who did it.
Oh, yeah. OK.
So we were over at my friend's house, his cousin's house.
And like he was, I want to say we were like 15 or 16 and he was
like a big coke head. And so he was trying to get all
of us to try coke. And whatever his girlfriend
walks in coke flies, like he throws the coke away and like
she gets mad bubble, blah. But he in that night, he walked

(41:24):
away and he's like, did you loseyour bubble gum?
And like one of the kids like bubble gum a lot.
So he's like, yeah, I lost my bubble gum.
And so dude, like turns around, unbeknownst to us, pulls his nut
sack out from his fly and then has it.
And then he turns around and starts digging in his pockets.
So you're looking at his pockets, but then there's just a
nut sack hanging out. And so like literally for years

(41:48):
I did that. Like that was like my go to
thing. Like I would just pull my nuts
out. Like I did it in gym class.
I did it. We were on a canoe and trip and
like actually. What would you do?
Just pull the. Skin out.
No, you pull your balls. The whole balls.
Yeah. You pull them out through so
that they're just dangling out there.
And we used to do it so much that like when I was still
living up in New York, we went on this canoe and trip down one

(42:11):
of the creeks. And while we were doing it, me
and my buddy, we stood up and like, you guys lose your bubble
gum. And we did it and nobody reacted
to they're like, no, we're not falling for that.
And so me and him both just dropped trout.
And then we just started canoeing standing up so that
people there is no way of avoiding.
Look, young people don't think about that until they're
getting, like, arrested because like a kid was like, well, we

(42:33):
were. Back in the like, I mean going
down the Creek, there's no houses, no nothing and so it was
just me and like 6 friends. Run my funny joke.
Can't even finish it. It's going to be hilarious.
Interrupt my story and we would.Have been able to clip that and
then put it out on the Internet and then people would actually
watch. You could still tell the joke
now, after I've finished my thought.
You know, I want to, I want to talk to the listeners real

(42:54):
quick, OK? Tell your mom about the podcast.
Tell your friends, tell, tell somebody you love.
Don't they deserve to laugh? Don't they deserve to be happy?
I understand. You're like, man, when these
guys explode, I'll be able to say, hey, I, I was there before
they exploded. You know what you could do too
is. But we have to explode to get to
that point. On on Reddit, not on Smosh or

(43:16):
too hot takes or anybody else's Reddit, but like on like the
podcast Reddit when people are like I need a new podcast.
Oh no, that's so that's so cornythough.
Just tell people just like, alright, go fucking go on to
like Reddit Slash podcast is a podcast podcast.
Podcast podcasting. Podcasts are US podcast.
I don't know. There's a million of them.
That's so weird too, because everything that I see with

(43:39):
podcasts is always just crazy shit.
It's just, I was like, hey, Dylan, did you hear about that
one time where my mom and Dylan's just sitting there like
like fucking laughing his ass off?
I. Think the bulk of podcasts
though is all business people trying to like get coaching
clients and get like. Oh bro, we could sell shovels on
this. Like do you?
Do you want to be able to take your business into a 7 figure

(44:01):
business? Why don't you sign up for my
course? That's your slightly ethical
crypto. So what business do you have?
A the crazy thing is, and I try to tell as many people on
TikTok, like I'll see a I'll seea post.
And it was like all these TikTokand I am the TikTok, you know,
guru guy and they'll have like 9000 followers.
Yeah, like 9000 followers. And I'm like, well, why don't,

(44:24):
why don't you use your tips? And then I tell people, just
don't, Don't fucking. Well, that's the thing though,
is it's easy. And in all honesty, like having
a coach that hasn't necessarily done it can guide you.
It's it's weird. But like technically, like, I
mean, I've had like a lot of video coaches and stuff like
that. And like they built something,

(44:44):
they did it like probably as successful as I ever got my
business. And then they started teaching
other people how to do it. And in all actuality, they did
help those people grow a business.
But it's one of those things where, like, yeah, why don't you
do like? Right.
Well, I mean, this is not. This is also not like a like a
tangible quality like martial arts and shit cuz you know, it's

(45:06):
the those who can do and those who can't teach.
But like that involves if someone's teaching, that means
they couldn't do it at the highest level essentially.
OK. And then you just got fucking
business people who don't know anything about business.
They're just like, I'll follow my and I will give you the 10

(45:27):
best things that's going to turnyour business into a success.
Well, and actually, number one, have something to sell.
This one may seem like really simple, but you got to have a
product #2 show that product to people who want it.
I'm not gonna elaborate 'cause Idon't know how to fucking do
this. See, if you didn't say it in
such a cheesy way, we could put that on TikTok.
And that was my next point was that that type of content does

(45:49):
so well because people save it. They send it to somebody that's
doing social media like that content of go viral on
Instagram. It goes so well just because
people are like, I want to go viral on Instagram and so it
actually performs the metrics like DM me for whatever.
And so then there's a bunch of comments and like I.
Should just do an hour long video and tell everybody what I
do because on short form we've essentially got that figured out

(46:13):
and we could grow a pretty like banging YouTube.
Except for I just I, there's notreally a niche that I'm like, I
want to wake up and make contentabout this everyday.
Because essentially, at the end of the day, if you don't like
what you were talking about, you're not going to like what
you do, no matter if it's like being a constant.
Creator And there's always that hill that you got to climb
before like it actually starts performing so you have to put in

(46:34):
a shit ton of. Work with all the knowledge that
we have now, the God we can fucking sell the course.
Let's do it. Fucking go buy my course.
It's only $7500. It's so funny because Mike.
If I get to people in a crowd, I'll be like, it's only 7500 and
I judge their face like what? But we're having a sale, it's
$7000 off, it's only 500 bucks. And then you'd be, well, OK.

(46:58):
And then we'll add in. Nothing get too happy, but there
is like a added course that well, that's so good we should
do us to get like that. That's the one thing I do want
to get back into is making skits, except for skits.
Once again, it takes A to do it.The only shitty part is when I
do something, I want to like do it and I want it to look like

(47:20):
great. What sucks is we have no money,
so costumes is hard. The hardest thing is finding
other people. That's the worst fucking part is
to find people to like playing the skits and shit.
And of course there's going to be two people that hear that now
and are going to message me. They're like, hey, buddy, I live
in Missouri, but I'm down. How the fuck am I going to make
that work? I just said, hey, I'm broke, OK.
And B, you're in Missouri. Yeah, let's just.

(47:41):
If you want to drive up here fora weekend, we'll we'll shoot
some content. We're.
Not We're not doing it on our dime.
You do. That it's rough.
Well, they won't have. To show us that.
But I think that's that's a funny one because he's just like
gauging it. And then they get like real
happy like 500. But if you really want to
succeed, there's another course that we tack on for 1000 and
that is our definitely going to make it course.

(48:02):
And everybody's like what like 1000?
But we're having a sell on that one too.
It's only 90. Nine, 999.
Look the 900 and what is it in 2727 cent than what they tell
you to do. Don't do, don't do $0.99.
It's like 997 is like the. 27 because the the human brain is
is is formatted to think sevens are cool.

(48:25):
I don't know what. Well, there is actual like
science behind it there. So JC Penney basically went out
of business because they did fair, honest pricing.
And so like a $20 pair of pants that they marked up to 60 put on
sale for 20. You're still getting a $20 pair
of pants no matter what. But they said that it was a
$60.00 value and people actuallystopped shopping there because

(48:49):
they wanted the $60.00 pair of pants that were being sold for.
They want the sale. And so like if you say like if
we all the sudden started listing our shirts as like
they're $50 shirts, but we're selling them for $33 like people
actually. Stop giving away the sauce.
Stop it, stop it. All right, guys, look, also that
really goes funny with the laboralignments having to sell the

(49:11):
hoodies because it's fucking summertime.
It's hot as shit. Or 30% off.
And you can use the code MADHD 30 to get 30% off labour llama
hoodies. That is mine and Dylan's
clothing company. All right, and.
We're going to let that run. Let's run that.
We'll run that till mid-july. We'll, we'll, we'll tell you
what the we. Just got to raise the price up

(49:33):
now about 30% since you said yeah, there we go.
And then it's like back at the fucking price.
They're $80.00. But it is real.
Yeah. We really have a 30% off sale
going on, on Labour Llama, that's LABOR lama.com.
We got hats, shirts. Yeah, let's.
That's it. I don't know why I fucking
didn't put A and in. There.
So Mike jumped the gun. We're gonna do 30% for you guys

(49:54):
listening. We're gonna do 30% off of
everything. Doesn't matter whether it's OK
or anything. 30% off for listeners, just for you guys.
Well, we had a thing for the hoodies.
That's. Why we got confused, We were
gonna we're gonna put them on sale, but I'll have to figure
out how to work the metrics of that so that it's not like 40%
off and then 30. Percent off.
So we have a we have a friend. I'm not going to name drop him

(50:17):
on here, but he's real. That's his whole life has been
like clothes and shit like that and he was like you boys are
obviously he's like you guys gota great.
Product you guys suck. Yeah, but you suck bad
marketing, Mike. You got to actually, you don't
don't be like, hey, yeah, buy this.
It's really good, but you don't have to.
He's like, stop saying that shit.

(50:37):
So he is. You have to buy Essentially what
he's doing is he's guiding us infor us.
So he he's grabbing it. He's like, obviously you can't
find the hole. Yeah.
And he's just, he's got it in. So yeah, you can go to
laborlima.com, use the code MADHD. 30 capital letters.
Does that matter? Damn M ADHD30 to get 30% off of

(50:59):
for podcasters? Anything.
Anything. Anything.
Anything. Not not reached around though,
because those are free. That shit was sailed.
All right, so the title of this one says alcoholic friend
ruining his life. Really.
That alcoholic friend? Look, all I want is just alcohol
and gambling. I get it.

(51:21):
It's bad. OK, cigarettes are also bad, but
I'm not I don't see commercials.That's like, it's so fun to
smoke. This shit will kill you when
you're 6070 years old. You'll get cancer.
You'll get a hole in your throat.
Not one about alcohol. That's like, look, this is
fucking up your liver, not gambling about oh, you're going
to go poor. If you see an alcohol and
gambling commercial like an alcohol commercial.
Everybody's just like hanging around having a good time, like,

(51:43):
oh, this is so great. Look at all my friends are here.
No. Well, they always have a
disclaimer at the end, like call1800.
Drink responsibly. That's all they got to put on
there. Why can't the cigarette
companies just be like, smoke responsibly?
Because there's no responsible smoking.
There's no responsible gambling,essentially no responsible
gambling, no responsible fuckingalcohol drinking.

(52:04):
Well, I mean, bingo is gambling.You're saying bingo people are
addicts? Yeah.
Yeah, but if it takes, I just, Idon't know, Once again, there's
going to be people like, well, the people who are.
I mean paying the. People who knows how to drink
responsibly, like that's gettingruined by people who fucking
listen. Cigarette deaths are 100% blown

(52:27):
out of proportion. They were like this 80 year old
man, he died because he smoked cigarettes or he's fucking 80.
They were like, well he got lungcancer.
Most people who get lung cancer do not smoke cigarettes.
You could say it increases your chances all day long.
Yeah, most people who get lung cancer have not ever smoked a
cigarette. You can fucking look that
statistic up. But.
Then there's also like, you know, workplace hazards and all
this other stuff that 'cause. Right.

(52:49):
And then there's just like half of all humans will get cancer.
That's just a fucking. That's a factor of life.
As you get well, as you get older too, your body's no longer
too because a cancer cell is a cell that is growing.
You have a cancer cell in your body that grows every single day
except your body knows how to fucking get rid of it.
Well eventually 1 grows and yourbody's like ah we don't know

(53:09):
what to do with it and if fucking.
Grows just a mutated DNA sequence that causes it to go
out of control but. But deaths from smoking and shit
like that is dramatically blown out of proportion to where we
can put alcohol and gambling, things that are going to ruin
lives. They're going to kill you like
they're going to fuck your that's going to fuck your body

(53:31):
up a percentage. Like if you drink every single
weekend for 40 years, binge drink, Yeah.
No, if you drink every single weekend for 40 years, just that
one day and you drink 88 to 10 beers, whatever, whatever, your
alcoholic drink is only for onlydrink on Fridays and Saturdays,
that's going to fuck up your body.
I mean, so is eating a fucking cheeseburger from McDonald's.

(53:52):
Like I'm just saying where? You're saying we shouldn't have
where? Do you draw the line though?
Like at what point are you like you're responsible for your all?
I'm saying is look, look at me out here fighting for Newport.
All I'm saying is let Newport make a goddamn commercial where
they're like, so fun. No, don't make any.
Like, why do I have to get? But also, that creates a fucking
that creates a stigma of people out there smuggling, like, oh,

(54:13):
look at those nasty degenerates out there.
We'll just get back to smoking apipe, like just a little where a
guy who's drinking every single fucking day is.
Well, yeah, the pipe is classy. Yeah, but if we make a movie
also, then I'm classy for smoking.
But then it's rated R automatically.
Second, a cigarette, cigarette pops up, it's rated R.
Is it really? Are you serious?

(54:33):
100%? I think you're fucking lying.
Nope. Are you kidding?
You're not kidding at all. That's what I'm saying.
But I can adults only. I can drink alcohol.
I could be thirteen years old sleeping with an adult showing
the like, not showing nudity, but showing the.
That's fucking weird bro. That's got to be rated on.
Wait, where's that at? That movie 13, I guess that's
what it's called. Oh, I don't know.
It's like one of my wife's favorite movies.

(54:55):
It's about a 13 year old girl who meets another girl and then
they're just like, OK, it's likepeer pressure.
The movie essentially, that's what they oh fuck who, who said
it? Fuck y'all for making fun of my
essentials because people are like, they're like, Mike says.
Only one person noticed. Listen, I don't care.
One person noticed essentially. Don't you love it how when one

(55:17):
person notices something I do, I'm like everybody's saying it.
And then if everybody says something that's like negative
or the like supporting. Me or.
Yeah, yeah, MM keeps interrupting Dylan.
I'm like, that's just bro, it's 10 people out.
Of a few people. That's a few people, but one
person says something about my essentially.
OK, essentially, you suck my nuts.
All right, we're going to get into the store now.

(55:38):
Alcoholic friend ruining his life.
Message Mike and Dylan. I need to know if I'm going to
be an asshole in a situation or not, but I also need some
advice. So let me know if I'm going to
be an asshole while giving some fan fucking tastic advice.
All right? I like it.
Very confident in the advice that he's going to give.
Has he seen the show or heard it?
I'm confidentless. If the advice is stupid, I'm

(56:00):
still confident in it. I'm a, I'm a very confident
moron. If you're gonna, if you got, if
you're gonna be tough, you got to be dumb.
One of my best friends, who I'veknown for 10 years, has always
been a real heavy drinker. Let's call him Billy Bob.
Like a really heavy drinker. I'm talking about how he would
drink any type of alcohol. It didn't matter if it tasted
good or not, Billy Bob was fucking drinking it.
My other friends and I really never thought anything of it

(56:21):
when we first met because we were in college.
We were all drinking a lot and not exactly on Billy Bob's
level. Fast forward to today and he
still drinks like that. Billy Bob is 31 and just
recently got married. All of the wives within our
friend group all had a venting session about him and how his
drinking is affecting their marriage.
All of the wives when our friendgroup all had a venting session

(56:43):
about him and his drinking and how it is affecting their
marriage. I think it's probably just the
wife. I got it, but how your husband's
drinking really affects me. To be fair, she short, she sort
of knew what she was getting into when they first got
together. But his drinking slowed down for
about a month or two since they were going to have children.
They are still trying to have children, but he is getting back

(57:05):
into the heavy drinking. Look brothers, just like it
ain't going to work. Throw me a beer.
I am thinking that myself and myother guy friends in our group
need to have an intervention type of hanging out with him
when we meet up for our next DNDsession.
When he was over at my house about a month or so ago, he was
having the shakes. I've never seen Billy Bob's
handshake like that before. Right then and there I thought

(57:25):
of this intervention idea. Over the past couple of years,
myself and a few others within our friend group would make the
comments about his drinking. We would then tell him that it
seems odd and that it's a pattern and that every time we
get together, regardless of whatsituation it is, Billy Bob was
always obliterated while the rest of us will be slightly
buzzed and chilling. I will note that I'm not the
best storyteller or writer. I'm a bet I am much better with
numbers haha. But I love your guys shit.

(57:48):
I've been following Mike for a long time but let me know if I
am the asshole for wanting to have an intervention after we
have AD and D session. And let me know what you would
do. Obviously, if your friend is
doing something you got to like you have to say hey, and
sometimes it's better than that one-on-one setting.
You have that one-on-one setting.
They you know, they don't have that realization.
But if every friend's like, look, brother, you got you got

(58:09):
this thing going on. Don't like, I really thought he
was going to be like we're we'rethinking about just like
kidnapping him and taking him tothis like cabin and playing DND
session and like, well, he'll die like he'll die if you that's
the shitty part about alcohol. Is that his whole withdrawal,
his whole, you know, quitting has to be done with medical
supervision. That's one of the things about

(58:30):
alcohol is if you are a super heavy drinker, you drink every
fucking day. It is one of the withdrawals
that can kill you. That and benzos.
So it's got, I mean. Can you just wean off of it?
Like lower lower your drinking. Well, yeah, so I think that's
what they do. They start to get the shakes so
they'll drink or take a shot. I don't know.
I am not a medical professional.That is something that Billy Bob

(58:55):
wouldn't need to get. Maybe you do need to consult
someone in that field because once again, alcohol is one of
the ones where withdrawal can kill you do.
You ever watch it sunny? It's always sunny in
Philadelphia. I've seen clips of it.
They did this one where it was just like all of them and
they're like intervention, intervention, intervention.
I think it was for Danny to be. A clip of it is the one where

(59:16):
it's like, oh, we need to make asong about how we don't diddle
kids, we don't diddle kids, it'snot good diddling kids.
See, I know if I watch the show,I.
Think they were doing? How much I like the office.
It's going to fucking consume mylife.
I. Think they were doing like wine
in like a coke can or something like that, or Danny DeVito or
maybe a bunch of them were, but like they were doing wine in a
coke can so they could just walkaround and drink everywhere that
they were at. But then like their lips were

(59:37):
turning purple and shit. And then that's when they, I
think they have the intervention.
I've watched quite a few episodes of it but it's been
like 10:15 or at least 10 years since I've really watched it,
no? I don't consume my life and
right now I'm playing a lot of Elden range, yeah.
Magic priorities. Yeah, Magic's in a bad state
right now. They got to ban like 4 fucking
cards in the format before I canstart playing all right.

(59:58):
Let's not go into that 30 minute.
I will bro, I will. He did.
It the other day where he's like, I got to go home.
I I think you even had the shit.You're like, I got to go home
and I got to shit and then we got outside.
He's like come outside and whileI smoke and so we're out there
talking. He went for 30 minutes straight
of just like we'll see this thiscard here if you put.
Team it up there then you do. Man I would 100% start a Magic

(01:00:20):
the gathering podcast. I would need a the Co host that
didn't know something about it. I know you love Michael Dillon,
but it would just be me explaining shit to Dylan while
he's just like all right. Well I don't.
I'll just go sit here and just listen.
And I do. I'd listen for 30 straight
minutes and also. Once again, that community
because once listen, once you start going too far one way, all
right, it's really hard to do anything.

(01:00:41):
Also, if we like when you have apodcast, when you create
content, a lot of that is supported by like sponsorships
and stuff, which is when I was doing Steve and Mike, that was
impossible because it'd be like an episode where fucking Steve
raped me or something. I wouldn't be able to do it
because I would 100 percent, 99%of my shit would be talking shit
about Wizards of the Coast. Not really Wizards of the Coast.

(01:01:02):
It's Hasbro now that owns Wizards.
So just be really, really hard. But I would do it, man.
And I'd fucking I'd fucking rule.
Those would be like 6 hour podcasts.
It would be a passion project though.
I would do that 100% no in that I wouldn't make any money on it.
So once like this one or MADHD pops off.
Once we get it. Maybe Labour Llama.
Yeah, maybe Labour llama pops off bro.
I'll just start a just a for funone where I'm just like, don't

(01:01:27):
buy their fucking products. They're going to do a fucking,
they just did a thing with FinalFantasy and a, you know, a
regular pack, 5 bucks. Now it's $8 collector booster.
They were fucking $24.00. These are $60.00.
Look. Yeah, hand me another.
Look how you distracted have your intervention though.
It is a good idea, all right, especially if the one-on-one
settings not really getting to them.
How far are we into this one? About an hour.

(01:01:49):
About an hour. Fuck.
Look, this is an overtime. Overtime last. 1 was an hour and
45 minutes. Overtime advice.
Wasn't that a special though? No, no, it's just literally the
one that posted yesterday. Don't get used to it because
Mike started talking about something he loved them.
Must have been. I think that one, yeah, I don't
know. The title says I need some
advice dear Mike and Dylan. First off sorry Mike for making

(01:02:13):
this so long. Looks the people that are like I
made it long. It's not that long if you were
like I try to make it short it's3 pages.
That is so funny that that always happens.
Greetings from New Jersey. I love the podcast.
It gets me through my 2 hour commute every day.
Keep up the rambling. That's what makes it so great.
I think it's hilarious how Mike always interrupts Dylan God damn

(01:02:33):
it. And every once in a while
Dylan's like, dude, let me finish my thought.
Any who to get into the advice? That's only one person.
That's only one person. We'll look, we're going to
continue reading the thing you submitted.
OK And who to get to the advice I need?
It's not funny or and I'm out ofthe asshole situation.
Just straight up need advice from 2 good dudes.
We are funny, we don't know if we are good or not.

(01:02:54):
My wife 27 female and I24 male have a 2 1/2 year old daughter.
I work as a lawn technician at afertilizing company.
I've been there for about a yearand a half.
I work 12 hours, or I work 12 hour days, an hour and a half
away from home. Monday through Friday, that is.
That's the shittiest part too, because people will be like,
what, 12 hours? You still have 12 hours in your

(01:03:15):
day? No, the fuck you don't.
You have the commute there back.It doesn't like sleep.
Yeah. You don't get there immediately
and then get to leave. Fucking just like, right.
It's so much shit. So I'll leave around 4:30 AM and
get back to the house around 7:30 AM.
We're asleep around 10 or so, soI can get up early during the
week. We only have about two hours
together per day, minus the timefor showering and cleaning and

(01:03:37):
eating out and whatnot. Doesn't leave much time to spend
together as a family. I love my wife and daughter.
They are the most important things in my life and I'd love
to have more time all together or go out or enjoy my life.
I should add on Sundays I do work on the side for most of the
day, so Sunday is our only full day together.
I really hope they're like should I start a business
because something in like this. There's a fuck ton of lawn
companies. There's a fuck ton of lawns

(01:03:58):
though. That's the, that's the, that's
the good thing about that. There's, there's a lot of like
landscaping doing all this shit.If you have something like that,
that you can consider a trade that you can do on your own, you
should 100% a start doing it on the side.
And then when you have a big enough fucking clientele base,
start doing it full time becausea, you're going to get the money
that you should be getting and you're not going to have to work

(01:04:20):
the hours that you should work. The best way to do that is while
you're working, do shit on the side, get a clientele base.
If you're someone who's in a trade working as a like a, a
apprenticeship or something likethat, you should already, you
know, be trying to, you know, talk to clients, stuff like
that, 'cause once you have, you know, a good client list that
you know, you can sustain your life off of, that's a great

(01:04:40):
base. And then when you're actually
doing it, you could spend, you know, some of your time doing
the shitty part, which is advertising, talking to people.
But since you already have a, you know, big clientele base or
just like a list of people that you know, because if people
that's one good thing is people talk if they're like, Hey, you
know who fucking who cut your grass like this shit looks good.
They'll be like this person does.
So that's a real if you already have that before you go into

(01:05:02):
that business setting, do not ifyou were like, Oh, I want to
start a business. What should it be?
Lawn care and you know nothing about lawn care.
Don't fucking do it. And you don't have any kind of
clientele list. That's the best thing.
So hopefully this is this is what this is about.
I'm trying to start working for myself doing landscaping and
construction but right now I only have two regular customers.
I want to work for myself to be able to spend more time with my

(01:05:25):
family and go out, visit and visit places, as well as be able
to attend events with my daughter when she is going to
school and whatnot in a couple of years.
I currently make 25 an hour so it's hard to take the leap of
faith and quit without knowing how things will go.
And if I leave they won't acceptme back again.
What should I do? And at what point did you guys
know you could quit and not haveto worry about it and that you
have enough for the bills? Never again.

(01:05:48):
Sorry it's so long and boring, but I trust you'll be able to
make it funny and also feel freeto roast me.
PS I love how both of you talk about how your wife and kids are
so important to you. It's not as common anymore to
find people like that. Keep up the great podcast.
Can I give a quick tip? It's like that Lady on TikTok
who was like, oh, I'm not going to mention that because I have
not confirmed or denied if that was real, so I'm not going to.

(01:06:09):
Say that. So quick tip is like, I think
first solution is to get your commute time back.
Like there's like Mike said, there's a million other
landscaping things. So if you can find another one
that pays $25.00 an hour, that's20 minutes away, you've just
gained hours back to your day, which then allows you to now put
more time into your side jobs and other stuff like that.
If you still want to like kind of keep the same work hours of

(01:06:32):
like putting in the effort to grow your side thing, but like
the biggest thing that's eating into your time is your commute,
You know, like get some of that time back because there's
another option there. And then like, yes, you can
start your own business. The, the big thing is, is with
business, it's not. I guess with lawn care it's
different. Like with my business, it's like

(01:06:54):
project nothing, project nothing.
And so there's like always this feast and famine.
At least with like landscaping, if you're doing lawns and stuff
like that, people are paying youmonth to month.
To month, right? It's a it's a big difference
between like, I need this guy, you know, $50, that's what I pay
him versus a video package. Yeah.
And so like the only thing I'll say on that front too is then
find, you know, the version of you where you get somebody to

(01:07:17):
come out and help. And so if you do have to go do
something, they're there to do it.
Like that's my wife has a plant store and she hasn't like
somebody that works with her, but like it's training them to
be able to do a lot of the responsibilities and stuff so
that you can, like Mike said, goout and market and meet people
and try to figure out how to gain more customers.

(01:07:39):
But you're still actually makingmoney while you're doing those
other things rather than just like, if I'm not out cutting
lawns, I'm not making money. Like figure all that stuff out
because ultimately the best landscapers have a team of
people. Like, so they hit the lawn,
there's somebody weedy and there's somebody.
They're there 15 minutes and then they're out.
But also, if you're doing it on your own, it may take longer,

(01:08:01):
but you're not paying a whole bunch of people so.
But you make more money if you pay people like it's just that's
why the business is working. Well, he's not.
Going to be able to start off doing that unless he has any,
yeah. I mean, you get somebody that's
off in the summertime because most of that work's going to
happen in the summer. You find a kid that needs a
summer job and now he's the guy,Weedy.
But what I would want to say is definitely making an LLC is not

(01:08:23):
expensive. No, making a website on
Squarespace is not expensive. Putting those two things
together, 50 bucks and then another.
There's a couple 100, but yeah. For the LLC LLC Filey.
At least here in North Carolina it's $150.00 to start it.
It's $200 every year to like redo.
I didn't. Have to pay that when I started
mine. We have it.
You don't. Yeah, it's 150 bucks.

(01:08:44):
To file the the forms it's 150 bucks.
Is it really? Yeah, I do it myself.
Like you can go through LegalZoom and all these other
things, but technically to file the actual paperwork, it's 150
bucks. I just filed it for the state
and I don't know, it was just for a reset and then it's $200
and I got it. Yeah, it's to get a resell like
and then it's $200 every year tolike keep.

(01:09:04):
I would listen to that. I would listen to that.
He is more knowledgeable on the LLC filing part than I am
because ours I never fucking. I didn't file that yet so but
besides that too, just creating the website is what, $15.00 a
month I think? Yeah.
I mean, it's there. I mean, you get the, so you, you

(01:09:25):
can buy a URL through Squarespace, whatever your name,
your business or want to do withyour website and then it's like
$15.00 a month. So then you could look into like
SEO and that's just like how youword things on your website.
So within your community when they search it up, if your thing
pops up before everybody else's.But then once you have that
website, go around and fucking just print off a stack of

(01:09:47):
fucking papers that talk about your lawn service.
I'd have a little deal on it just so people are like, why
wasn't this a business card and fucking go to a Walmart and
stick that in people's windshields.
Just stick it as you walk down somewhere.
Just fuck it. Stick it in people's
windshields. It is annoying.
That's technically called soliciting and it's illegal in a
lot of places. Oh, is it?
Well, check with your local lawsbecause everybody wants you to

(01:10:07):
go through somewhere to be able to advertise.
But it's a great way. It's a great form of
advertisement, but do that because a, it gets people
talking. Well, even if somebody doesn't
like what you do, once they're thinking about they need lawn
care service, your name's going to pop up.
It's like Crazy Kevin Powell in fucking North Carolina.
That dude's super fucking annoying.
But when people think about a car or a place that sells cars,

(01:10:29):
guess who's the first person they think about Crazy Kevin
Powell. My daughter went to a race
because she goes to races all the time.
She loves it. She heard him talk and she was
like that I couldn't, I was like, man, I want that guy to
shut up. And I was like, you'd be glad
you're not subjected to radio cuz back then that's all we had.
You turned. There was no connecting it to a
car. So the thing that I would say

(01:10:50):
your biggest leverage piece right now is your two current
clients offer them some sort of deal where like you're going to
do next month's for cheaper if they get you, you know, 3 or 4
leads. And it doesn't have to be people
that I've actually bought, but just get you in the
conversation, right, Because your customers are going to be
your best advocates to get you new people.
And so like once you get that 3rd and the 4th and the 5th,

(01:11:11):
like you use those people to seeif anybody else needs any of
your services. Like if you put a new deck on
somebody's house, like then be like, Hey, do you know anybody
else that their decks old and you know, looking like shit and
would like to maybe expanded or whatever.
And like use the people that you're already working with.
Or even if you have people that have done like 1 offs, just
reach out to them and say like, Hey, I'm, I'm starting to go on

(01:11:34):
my own and I could use some moreclients.
Do you have anybody like relatives nearby or friends that
would also use these services and would like, you know, like
my, my mentality of how I operate?
If you know, anybody, just give me their information and I'll
cut you a deal on this next thing that I do for you, right?
It's like the antithesis of likewhat most things do, like, you

(01:11:56):
know, Spectrum or like any of these cable companies, They're
like, hey, sign up and we'll give you a, you know, cheap
thing. And then once you're there, it's
like, OK, we're going to double and triple it.
And then they're like, oh, you've been with us for five
years. We're going to triple it again
rather than giving you a deal for the time.
And another thing is, too, is when you come across people in
your community that do lawn care, just fuck with them like

(01:12:18):
friends. Yeah, like, once again, business
is a competition. It's not a rivalry.
All right? So you can be, you can be
friendly with the people in yourcommunity that do the same
things. Because there's going to be a
lot of times where they're like,fuck, we're booked, but we know
this guy can do it. And they want somebody that they
can hand out your name and know that they're gonna.
You're gonna do a good job so. You look good, you make them

(01:12:40):
look good by doing a good job. Like with video, we have like a
group of us. There's like 80 of us in a
Facebook group that are all herein North Carolina and we call it
coopetition. So like, we are cooperative, but
we're also like fighting for similar things.
But there's so many people out there, especially with lawns.
But like even with video, like, I mean, there's so many

(01:13:01):
businesses that I could talk to that have never been talked to
by a video person. So it's not like there's not
enough work out there for everybody.
Don't go shuffling them. No, no, I was looking at them
because you said don't go shuffling the next one's rather
long, so I think now's a good time to wrap it up.
You like making these short, everybody wants them to be
longer, and you like making themshort.
You said we were over an hour in.

(01:13:21):
Yeah, where we started that one.And people love the like hour
and 45 minute ones, not the 45 minute.
Ones, do they like the hour and 45 minute ones?
Yeah. Everybody's like as much as much
rambling and banter make them longer.
Like that's once again your yourbias on the comments.
Like not a single person's like God, these are too long.
But like literally there's been probably 15 that are like, go as

(01:13:43):
long as you guys can. Well that was before like we
started like consistently going over an hour.
Now I'm scared of going like that too long.
I haven't checked the watch timeon this.
Let's get to a three hour 1 and then we'll talk about.
Fuck that shit. I'm sweating in the city man.
I gotta just, he just. Wants a cigarette?
That him delicious? You want a little nicotine
packet to get you through? Now they're they are delicious
and good for me. I do.

(01:14:05):
I love them. What do you I listen, listen all
right, once again I'm look, I'm start advocating since y'all
ain't going to make the drinkingas dangerous commercials or the
the gambling can ruin your family.
Why do more people need to smokein order for you to be happy?
No, no more. People don't need to smoke.
That's whatever they. Shouldn't it's just if you?

(01:14:26):
It's like, we're not going to advertise something that gives
people cancer and kills them. Alcohol does the same thing.
McDonald's. Wendy's.
Correct. Taco Bell.
But you have to talk. You have to talk about like the
ingredients and the actual carcinogens.
Yeah, because of they're trying to make the cheapest product
that they can. Right.
So I mean, you can make, you canmake a anybody technically
anybody can make a commercial about anything.

(01:14:47):
So you can make a like a list ofcarcinogens and be like, this is
in Wendy's, McDonald's, whatever.
Yeah, but like the I don't understand what your issue is
with like cigarette companies not being able to promote like
it it doesn't affect you. You're still going to you're
doing a straw man. You're like Benchmar right now.
Yes, I I'm saying I feel like alcohol and gambling should not

(01:15:11):
be able to have commercials where they're like, this is so
fun and everybody loves it and everybody's having a great time
and everybody's partying while they do.
It and at what point do you do you because alcohol because like
legitimately the shitty food like Cheetos and Coca-Cola and
all the other things, like at what point at what point do you
say nobody can advertise becausethat's basically what you're
advocating for you? You've got an issue with alcohol

(01:15:33):
and gambling, but it does not stop there.
There's a ton of other things that aren't good for people that
get to advertise. So like at what point the
Domino's fall do you stop advertising?
Because legitimately obesity andall the other things that kill
people, heart disease and all this other stuff comes from
other things. So like, I get you have an issue

(01:15:55):
with gambling and alcohol, but they're not the end.
So how far are you going to takethat?
You have that issue with those two, but there's a multitude of
other things. So like, you're mad about
cigarettes and so you want to lump those other two together,
but then there's soda pop and food and right cosmetics and all

(01:16:16):
this other stuff. Who else can't advertise if you
want to knock down those other two?
I'm more speaking on the like the addictive ones.
Yeah, cosmetics. McDonald's.
Fucking the fast food is addictive and all that shit.
I mean, I understand it's addictive, but it's on a
different level than fucking alcohol and gambling.

(01:16:40):
They're not. No one's ever fucking ate
McDonald's and ruined their whole fucking family because
they. You're saying ate a bunch?
Of cheeseburgers. No kid has ever died in a
fucking field because he overdosed on fucking hamburgers.
Nobody's ever fucking done that.Nobody has ever fucking mortgage
their fucking house so they could keep eating hamburgers.
It's never happened. I'm talking about the two I

(01:17:01):
understand. You can eat McDonald's for 10
years, it's going to fuck up your health.
Correct? That's the same way with
alcohol. But nobody can go into a field.
A 16 year old cannot go into a field because it's so fun and
it's so fucking fun to do. Eat a bunch of hamburgers and
then die right there while all his friends fucking stare at him
and laugh. OK, but see this is like.
That's where it stops at you. Have this thing of.
Those two are the worst ones I understand.

(01:17:23):
I get it, but like, let me finish this.
You talk about puddle jumpers not killing kids like it's the
same thing. It's a irresponsible parent.
It's it's bad upbringing. It's not teaching your kids the
proper way to do things like that exists the same way it's.
It's no responsibility. Like you can't just make
everything different argument though you are.
It's the same thing. You're saying that the alcohol

(01:17:43):
is killing kids. No, it's the kids making poor
decisions. It's them not understanding
making poor decisions too. There are a bunch of people who
died and that's fine. That's personal responsibility.
When you drink too much alcohol,alcohol, there's a bunch of
people that die from alcohol poisoning, but then also too not
only the alcohol poisoning. You didn't have people who drink
for fucking 10 years, then they get cirrhosis they're making.
People that literally have smoked a carton of cigarettes in

(01:18:04):
a day and have died. So like what?
Like you're campaigning for cigarettes having commercials,
but like, it's the same thing. Wait, you're talking about like
nicotine poisoning, something that's like super incredibly
rare versus alcohol poisoning, which happens.
There's deaths on that fucking every every day.
That's a big different. Like I should be able to say,
hey, I think this without someone being like, well, this

(01:18:24):
happens very fucking rarely. Why aren't you saying that?
That's the argument that you're presenting.
I'm saying that alcohol and gambling are they extreme
addictives. I get McDonald's is addictive.
Fast food is addictive. OK, once again, you can have you
can have poor health. You can have poor health for 20
years and then shit'll start happening.
Gambling. People fucking are, you know,

(01:18:45):
live paycheck to paycheck. Look how fun it is.
You can become rich like that isdetrimental to people.
People don't mortgage their houses over Coca-Cola,
McDonald's, shit like that. They don't ruin their families
over that shit. They don't fuck in, like I said,
eat a whole bunch of hamburgers.They die in a field, and then if
they don't die in a field they get cirrhosis of the liver.
But it's like it is very equal to your puddle jumpers not

(01:19:07):
killing kids and it's an irresponsible parent that killed
the kid. What do you?
No, there is no gambling. If you cannot handle gambling,
you're going to ruin your life. Yeah.
But like that's a personal choice.
Like it's just like somebody in.Cheeseburgers and every.
That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
But then at that point you should not be able to make a

(01:19:27):
commercial about it going look how fun this is.
But they do that with. It's not one or two people that
fucking go off the rails on gambling.
There's enough people where theyhave a fucking hotline for this.
Like it's not like McDonald's bro.
It is. Because like our, our whole
society is obese. Like we are obese as fuck,
right? And so is that not an issue?
It is an issue and people, people do bring that up and they

(01:19:50):
still. Get to go.
Oh, look at this. Delicious.
Just cheeseburger. It's the same exact.
Thing. It's not the same exact thing.
The the you. Are so you're saying cocaine and
McDonald's are the same exact thing?
Do they have cocaine advertisements?
That's what I'm getting at. You're saying like they
shouldn't be able to advertise. At what point do you cut that
off? Yeah, but you're taking

(01:20:12):
something that is like not as bad as something just because
something's fucking up here and then there's something down
here. It's a a whole scale of a bunch
of shit that like, that's what I'm saying.
Well, you know, McDonald's, McDonald's does it.
And then so we can't make everybody not do it.
You're saying knock down alcoholand gambling.
At what point do you stop? Because there are other things

(01:20:34):
that are detrimental to people'shealth.
They're addictive like social media people sitting on their
ass watching TV all the time. It's a personal choice.
At what point do you stop advertising social?
Media advertisements, and I willadmit McDonald's is bad, but I
think it's more of people being overeating and then also just

(01:20:54):
not moving at all. Yeah, like it's a culmination of
things where it's not just McDonald's, where just gambling
can fuck up your life. Just alcohol if you take it.
To an extreme, yes you can and. Who, like takes McDonald's?
Who's eating McDonald's three times a week?
Nobody's doing that. I understand.
They're fucking shitty shit food, I don't think.
A bunch of people do not cook food at home and only like we

(01:21:14):
had a a person that only eats cheeseburgers and pizza, right?
And that exists, and there's plenty of people out there that
are. Saying that that 100 lbs like
once again, I don't care if likeyou drink or anything like that.
I'm just saying that's what I'm getting.
I don't feel like they should beable to.
It's so fun. I don't see them.
I I literally don't see any advertisements maybe or bud lie
every once in a Miller Lite and Coors lie and DraftKings and

(01:21:37):
fucking I hear the DraftKings onlike podcasts and.
Stuff, but once again like. On every single thing.
I can't escape Vandool and DraftKings and all of that
stuff. And not once has it made me want
to do it. And like if somebody wants.
To but it's like they're targeted towards kids.
They're that's fun. It's targeted towards young
people to go have this fun and gambling is it does the same.

(01:22:01):
Like it does the same thing to your brain as fucking drugs do
with the serotonin release and shit like that.
I understand McDonald's, does itnot?
So does social media. Yeah, not at the level that this
does it. Like nobody is mortgaging.
Like they're not fucking gettinga second mortgage.
People are buying. Fucking Nikes or a nice fucking
car. Yeah, they're they're
overspending on things that theyshouldn't overspend on and going

(01:22:22):
fucking broke doing it. It's not.
The same as people sitting in a casino like fucking shitting on
themselves while fucking playingslot machines.
You're trying to dictate what people do with their personal
choices. No, I'm not.
I'm not dictating what people do.
I'm saying they shouldn't advertise those.
The gambling companies, the alcohol companies shouldn't
advertise for it. I'm not saying I said hey, if

(01:22:44):
you drink and you gamble, that'sfine and I don't look down on
you or anything like that. I'm just saying that it is
something that is harmful and should not be advertised to
young people. That is all I've said.
I'm not dictate. I'm not dictating a single thing
in anybody's lives. I just don't agree.
That's it's OK to not agree, butdon't then say hey, well,
McDonald's wait, hey, hey, this the next time you bring up a

(01:23:04):
problem on a podcast, I won't I say this, I'm just going to
forget. We're going to forget about this
like 10 minutes after the podcast, but I'm just, I'm all
fucking you're. Advocating for cigarette.
I'm a cigarette advertisement. That is not.
I didn't even. Nope.
You said, I think it should be able to just say.
Alcohol is able to say, hey, funfor young people if gambling is
able to say fun for young people, fun for young people.

(01:23:25):
Doesn't say it. It it represents it bro.
You can read into it however youwant to, but that's not what.
You sound like. You sound like.
Well, yeah, they didn't say it. You're trying to.
Legislate something that is likeit's already legislated, like
drink responsibly, like it what?What more do you want from that?
Cool so that's what I'm saying if something that is on bro

(01:23:47):
alcohol same scale as fucking tobacco and shit kills both of
them. Kill a bunch of people a year, a
lot of that is attributed to just people getting fucking old.
And they'll be like, well he would.
He smoked 5 packs. Yeah, and they didn't have a
bias on. That anyways, so you have a bias
because you are a smoker and so you are going to be biased
towards smoking is not that big of a deal.

(01:24:08):
I mean it gives. You heart disease, bro, it gives
you fucking, it increases your chance to end the lung cancer
and. One of the most addictive things
that you could ever exist in this world, like nicotine is
like the biggest addictive for gambling, yeah.
I won't say for alcohol because I don't fucking, you know.
So are you going? To get that much into fucking
alcohol. Like I mean arcades with the
little fucking grabby machine that's gambling for kids.

(01:24:31):
Are you going to get rid of the little claw machine because it's
gambling and kids are wasting all their money trying to?
I've never seen a kid waste their money in the gambling or
in the fucking claw machines. Literally all kids that are in
arcade, they're like, oh I want the stuffed animal and so
they'll spend fucking. I try not comment on anecdotal.
I've never. It's not anecdotal, it's
gambling. It is you have the opportunity
to try and get. That, like you said, you've seen

(01:24:53):
a bunch of kids at them. I'm like, I've never seen
anybody at them. OK, but you have exists
frequented them, but they obviously make money because
they're sitting there and kids spend money on them all the time
that is gambling. I don't have any any information
behind that, I'm just saying I can't comment on it because of
but the only thing I have is my.It's a kid experiment.
Gambling machine is Should we get rid of those because it

(01:25:14):
promotes? Do you have the?
Statistics on how often they areused?
Do you have the? Statistics on exactly how many
people mortgage their house on gambling.
I can pull it up. You can pull it up.
And that's The thing is, is we're having a discussion and
I'm bringing up points that are saying like, at what point do
you stop, is my point? You're like, they shouldn't be
allowed to do this, but like. I'm not saying no one should be

(01:25:35):
allowed. I have never once I'm saying
advertising. How many claw machine
advertisements have you seen? But you're claiming that it's
just for kids. It's not for kids.
They're trying to make it exciting for everybody.
And kids don't have fucking money.
They don't have money. So like, are they mortgaging
their house because kids don't also have a house?
Like at what point? We can leave it like.

(01:25:55):
This Mike's right, I'm wrong. The people will fucking comment
who is right, and they'll be like, hey, Mike, this is like,
think about this or Dylan, thinkabout this.
Because hey, it's two people that do not have statistics in
front of them arguing about something.
Yeah. And you have a vendetta.
I'm just saying like. No vendetta against alcohol or
gambling. Neither one of them have ruined
my lives. Yeah.
And I'm not sitting here being pro cigarette either.

(01:26:18):
I'm saying I don't care if you do those things, but you should
not be able to advertise them toyoung people.
And I don't care if you're like they've never said, hey, young
people because it's all young people in their product.
All, all product. It's all young people.
When you do that, you are advertising to young people, the
people in those types of in. Their 20s or like what?
What constitutes a young person?It's.
Just a bunch of young people. Fucking party.
Are they 14 or 15 or what? They're 20 year olds.

(01:26:41):
Like people that are going to beusing the product.
OK, but then once you go to onceFanDuel and fucking DraftKings
goes to these content creators whose audience is 14 and 15 year
old people, you are then advertising to young people.
They know what they're doing. It doesn't matter if you say it,
it is by what you do. And how much money do those kids
have to spend on FanDuel? It doesn't matter if you in 1415

(01:27:06):
years old, there's. Also regulations on whether you
can gamble, like there's, there's age limits on when you
can gamble. So like they have all those
regulations in place, like you were trying to dictate more.
Regulations on or DraftKings askfor your Idi.
Imagine so I I don't, I don't. Know.
I don't either, but like I guarantee.
You could just go in there and make an account without showing

(01:27:27):
identification. And that's assuming like you,
you can't go on to like. And we'll see.
I didn't get my phone. But that's The thing is like
you, you are putting a bunch of assumptions and you have a
vendetta against those two. I don't care what you say.
Like there's no vendetta, there is a you should not be able to
advertise something that is going on fucking ruin somebody's
life that is that addictive. Like when this is a different

(01:27:49):
level of addiction. They McDonald's cheeseburgers.
They advertise every fucking pharmaceutical that ever comes
out. Oxycontin was once on TV.
Like ask your doctor about Oxycontin.
I don't think any pain medication had a.
I would almost guarantee it. I think there's actually
regulations against and now any narcotics like.
Now I would guarantee that back in the day when it was hitting

(01:28:11):
its prime, they were like, ask your doctor about Oxycontin and
it's a sitting inside your doctor's office with a little
cute pamphlet of a fucking hot chick with a puppy.
Like when? You know, you know, the
advertisements is not for it's not like the it's for name brand
things that like the brand is fucking doing the commercials on
which the brands are owned by fucking Pfizer and all that

(01:28:32):
shit. They're not like this just new
new medical company. It's just the name of the
medication, but they're doing itfor that.
They know that doctors are goingto prescribe the other.
So I don't think they've ever made the commercials for
Oxycontin, any of the pain medication they might have.
I would guarantee they didn't. They'd have to be back in like
the early early 2000s, but. But it's the same thing, like
it. And at what point do you stop?

(01:28:55):
That's my thing is it's a. They don't do.
It's a domino. It doesn't happen.
Now, they do advertise pharmaceuticals, like not
narcotics, not the things that are addictive.
And that's just because of the FDA and what they allow.
The same fucking FDA that didn'tallow marijuana for a long time,
that doesn't allow actual good things in lieu of other things.
Yeah, that does that just because I'm saying, you know,

(01:29:20):
I'm targeting too. And you're like, we want to
target all of them. That's cool.
That's a fun, fantastical world that we can live in.
But how about it's so crazy to bring up a problem like say,
hey, these are two very big problems and this is what I
don't like, and I don't think they should.
You do it from McDonald's and all this other stuff.
If it's a problem then you like,that's my point.
But that's what does that stop you.

(01:29:41):
You have demonized these two things and I don't care what you
say, you always lump this together as those are the two
things that you won't you won't fuck with.
And I get it and I understand why you don't want to support
it. But to tell industry that they
can't advertise but because you have a vendetta against it does
not make. That they are on the same level
of the other things that do not have.

(01:30:03):
Advertisements, OK, and maybe one day that stops, but like
you. That's all I said.
It was just a. Fucking passing thing.
No, it was not a passing thing. You've said multiple times like,
well, Newport. Should that's right, do not.
Have a happy. Nope, didn't say that.
You said if you allow those things they should allow
cigarette companies, but they donot.
Newport should have a cool thing.

(01:30:23):
They are. Not allowed.
They are not allowed to make their.
Cigarette commercials, Yeah, because there was a big fucking
lawsuit and all that shit happened and then regulations
happened. But like, ultimately drinking,
smoking, gambling, all of that is a personal choice.
If you get fucking marketed to and you decide to fucking pick
up meth because, oh, it was a really cool commercial with

(01:30:45):
fucking like young people. All the young people do meth.
Like, I'm sorry you made that choice to do fucking meth.
Like the marketing did not make you like.
It does not equal you being thatperson.
Like just because McDonald's advertised doesn't mean one is
automatically become a McDonald's customer, right?
So I don't know. That's a wild thing to say about

(01:31:07):
the marketing of meth because once again, we're taking
something that we know is wrong.We know is wrong, wrong.
Like you should not smoke meth because it is what?
What's wrong with the meth that fucking?
I mean, they don't do that. In fucking ADHD medicine like
it's meth. It's a stimulant that fucking if
you were to take enough of them,it's like doing math.

(01:31:29):
But we know that's wrong, correct?
So then why can't we just treat alcohol who was on the same
level of meth? Deaths, addiction, all that shit
because of. People's personal.
Show this fun fucking commercialwhere everybody's young and
having a good time. Having a couple beers is fun.
You don't like to do it, but a lot of people do.
OK, some people like smoking a little bit of meth.

(01:31:51):
Is does that make it bad? If if fucking Walter White wants
to put an ad, then we're good. I think we both want to argue
about something but don't know how to argue about it.
I know that's what I think is I think is happening.
It's two people with ADHD tryingto argue about something and
we're we take the points in different directions.
We're we're going to watch this back and be like, this is the
stupid shit we ever seen. But y'all are going to see and

(01:32:11):
y'all are going to put in your opinions and I really feel like
the people who drink are going to be on the side of alcohol.
The people that don't drink are going to be on the side of.
Well, there's responsibility in all of it.
Like you correct, you can overdoanything.
That's what I'm saying. You can overdo anything.
These. I'm just saying there's a scale
of the most dangerous ones and there's two of them that have

(01:32:33):
advertisements that should not have advertisements.
I'm saying each their own. You can do whatever you can.
Fuck it. If you want to do coke pills,
it's cool. There's not cocaine commercials
out there. There's not pill commercials.
Out there, if they if, if somehow a company could be
started that sells cocaine, there would be fucking cocaine
commercials like marketing is marketing it's.

(01:32:53):
Just is. But there's not because cocaine
is addictive and can and can kill.
I've never heard of anybody thatcan kill people, so there's not.
But we have something that killsway more people than cocaine
does and is just as addictive. Alcohol, I don't know if it's
just as addictive, but. It's like, and once again

(01:33:16):
though, it's a personal decisionthat people make and they fuck
up their lives. And there's plenty of other
things that people fuck up theirlives with, but those two are
being. And I know once again, I'm not
demonizing people who fucking gamble and drink alcohol because
I. You're saying the company
shouldn't be able to market? That's right, they shouldn't be
able to fucking be like, look kids, how fun this is.

(01:33:38):
And you always bring it back to the kids.
It's. Literally, that's who's gonna do
it. They're gonna emulate what the
fuck we're doing. And at a young age, playing
FanDuel and playing fucking DraftKings is not good for you.
That's like having a cocaine company, exactly like having a
cocaine company saying, hey, it's fine because adults will do
what they want to do. And then you're selling it in
stores and kids are getting a hold of it in mass.

(01:33:59):
It's just like the vape shit. It's just like the vape shit.
Kids are getting a hold of it inmass who do not know what to do.
They don't know how to do this responsibly.
Their brains are not developed. But there are all these
commercials in tandem. There we go.
I was looking for the word in tandem of watch people do it.
There's these fun ass commercials.
But wow, look how fun cocaine is.

(01:34:20):
They don't use all people in their ads.
Nobody does about how fun something is.
Did you start smoking because ofan ad or did you start smoking
because all of the fucking people around you smoked
cigarettes? All of the young people around
me, yes. No, the fucking adults that you
stole a pack of cigarettes from.The first time I ever smoked
cigarettes was because we stole cigarettes from parents.

(01:34:41):
Like it wasn't because we went to the store and fucking bought
it. We didn't come about it through
legal means. We started this process prior to
being able to actually access those things.
So like, you can say that they're marketing dork kids and
all this other stuff, but if your parents aren't sitting
there fucking gambling, if your parents aren't drinking all the
fucking time, you're less likely.
So it becomes that fucking puddle jumper debate that you

(01:35:02):
have. It's the responsibility when.
They started smoking and shit like that.
They wanted to look like fuckingpeople in movies and shit that
smoked and shit because all their.
Parents fucking smoked that's fine.
They didn't come from non-smoking fan that's fine.
Cigarettes. You don't advertise them
anymore. They're not cool anymore.
I'm saying put alcohol and they're.
Fucking $10 a pack, like that's how your prize has nothing to

(01:35:25):
do. It does.
A kid could buy a vape pen of weed for fucking 20 bucks or
they can buy a pack of cigarettes, which tastes like
shit, fucking give you nothing. You don't catch a buzz, you
don't get high. And you, you put those two in
tandem together, they're going to pick fucking smoking weed
like they're going to smoke the vape.
They're going to do that insteadof buying something that is

(01:35:50):
completely worthless. It does not give you a buzz, it
doesn't get you high. It doesn't like, and it's not
the cool thing to do because society has determined that.
But like as when I was a kid, I smoked because my parents smoked
and because everybody around them smoked.
Like it was, it was the community.
That got you into it and anecdotal.
I'm not claims you are. That's literally saying how I

(01:36:12):
did it. That's anecdotal.
That's an anecdotal plan. But the community around me,
there was no fucking advertisements for cigarettes on
on TV or anything like that. In my youth, there was none.
I think that stopped in like thefucking 80s.
So there was no, no cigarette ads.
The only thing you would see is maybe a Marlboro Man in a
fucking magazine. Other than that, I did not get

(01:36:34):
advertised to and all the peoplearound me that were my age did
not get advertised. All this argument and smoked
still because of where did you access them?
You access them by illegal means, through your parents,
through older friends that couldbuy them.
You did not get them. So even if Marlboro was
advertising directly towards me,I don't have the means to

(01:36:55):
actually do that. And so it wasn't the advertising
that got me smoking. It was everybody around me
smoking. That's like, hey, I'll smoke one
of those. That's how it equalled out.
It's not, it's not that the advertising is convincing kids
to fucking do these things. Like if anything, it's the the
video games and stuff that have like a million add on packs that

(01:37:16):
you got to buy in order to fucking play the game before you
get slapped with ads or it tellsyou you can't play for the rest
of the day. That's more gambling than
fucking FanDuel or DraftKings oranything like that.
They're getting primed in their games and their apps that they
already have where they have to pay to play.
That right there is eating up more of their money than betting
on a sports game. Younger people actually don't

(01:37:36):
play mobile games as much as older people do.
And I'm talking about like what's like the 21 being the for
older and younger. OK, because they have the money
to spend on it and so they get to pay to play.
And it's the same thing with FanDuel and like.
Listen, you're 14 to disagree. Yeah, agree to disagree.
OK, I'm just saying it's a slippery slope.

(01:37:56):
It's not a slippery slope. It is, but once again, look,
it's OK to have debates like this with your friend.
Do you see how we have not personally attacked each other?
I mean, I did call Mike Fat one time, but I think I set it under
my breath. Yeah, fucker, damn it, fat
bitch, you motherfucker, but it's OK to argue amongst

(01:38:17):
friends. Y'all are going to fucking now
we're going to decide this is what's going to get the people
and now me and Dylan just going to argue every goddamn podcast
because everybody's going to comment on this now because
they're going to hear it and be like, I want to put my $0.02
into it. So yeah, get prepared for Mike
and Mike. This is Mike and Dylan hate
drama. They just fucking just go at
each other. But yeah, I think this is a
great time to wrap up the podcast.

(01:38:38):
What a great ending though it. Was especially since it ended 30
minutes ago. Right, Yeah, technically it
ended 30 minutes ago, but oh, isthat camera?
No. Oh yeah, I'm fucking.
I forgot. We don't have to fix the cameras
anymore. But guys, yeah, let us know what
you fucking think and we will see you next time.
Later mayonnaise stick.

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FOUND OUT My Dad Isn't My REAL Dad | MADHD Podcast Ep29 |

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}FOUND OUT My Dad Isn't My REAL Dad | MADHD Podcast Ep29 |