Friendship Bracelets, Oil Field Justice & Cam Newton Rants | MADHD EP47 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Bear nimble bound down Michael Dylan 8 drama but the Bow Wow
here it comes to sit down guys here it comes to let the the old
member that oh, there goes oh, get down there, old buddy don't
get hurt. Oh yeah all right, you good?
I'm good good another another day of Mike and Dylan hating

(00:21):
hating drama. I just I fucked up the whole
intro. Adding that in there.
I liked it, but did you? Hating drama?
Yeah. Look, yeah, I could do it in
like various ways. Kept me on my toes.
Yeah, so I thought we really talked about this during the
last episode. Mike and Dylan hate drama.
I really enjoy this being like the therapeutic podcast.

(00:41):
It doesn't have to be like, if we want to do a conspiracy, we
could do a conspiracy if we want.
Doesn't fucking matter. Like this one.
Let's not be chasing waterfalls,you know what I'm saying?
Should we talk to them about thetrauma that they went through on
the last episode? Oh, yes, OK, yeah, OK.
Obviously you guys are masochists because a lot of
people still watch that episode and the odd.

(01:04):
So we shoot the whole episode and I mean, me and Dylan are you
can see it. We're enjoying ourselves.
We're having a good one. I had a blast.
Great conversation and we get upand Dylan is like doing the math
in his head on how long that wasbecause you know, the cards are
and the cameras are different times. 8080 minutes apiece, and
we had like 12 minutes or like, yeah, 12 minutes left on the

(01:26):
second card. So we did 80 plus another 68.
Yeah, he's like doing the math and he's all excited, and then
he puts it in the computer and we realized that there's no
audio there. And I like, sit there like I'd
just been told a relative had been shot.
Which is crazy because I don't like many of my relatives.
So it wasn't near as that was more traumatic, Yeah.

(01:49):
Yeah, this was more traumatic. So I have really nothing to
compare it to. And I was like, fuck it, we're
just going to put it out there. Yeah, even though we sound like
we're in a tunnel. It was bad, it was bad, but like
I've seen worse and I've heard worse.
So like I, I don't expect it from us and I will do better.
We're going to do better. We.

(02:09):
Probably loved it though. We promise you we'll do better.
So the podcast is, you know, I, I, the podcast is the, my
favorite thing that we do well on the other podcast, 2 daddies
judge and baddies. We're getting offers from people
like people want to be on the podcast, which is wild.
There is one Asian lady that used to be a pin up model,

(02:31):
something like that. Yep.
And she wrote a book about the fetishization of Asian lady and
black women. And I was just like, did you
watch our podcast? I mean, I I think she'd be a
great guest for a lot of different shows.
Ours probably not the best one for her, gaining a bigger, wider
audience, right? I think if anything, people are

(02:52):
going to go look at her old career on this podcast
especially, but the two days. So I mean, that's a good, that's
a positive direction because youknow, one day it's Asian lady
who did nude photos, posting a book about why guys look at nude
photos and tomorrow it's, I don't know, Mike Tyson.

(03:13):
Maybe that would never. It was such a scary podcast.
That would be a fuck because youknow, he's acting normal and all
of a sudden he's just like. And then I did, I wash in the
desert and, you know, next thingI know I'm a, I'm a dolphin
flying through space, you know, defeating aliens with my dolphin
hands. And it showed me life.
And I can feel my testosterone getting real, real bad right
now. And I'm, I'm starting to cry a

(03:34):
little bit and you don't know what the fuck my next moves are
going to be. And even if you did, you
couldn't stop them because I'm amaster of war.
And I just be like God, fuck, fuck.
Just. Tell me more, we'd be here.
Alone. Like maybe at that point we'd
have, you know, Scott in here. We're eventually going to have
our friend Scott kind of runningthe thing and looking stuff up.

(03:54):
So when I say something completely wrong about somebody
and I'm just like, well, you know, Jamie Kennedy used to
moonlight as a ninja or some shit.
I did a really good example because I don't want to, I don't
want to say run a pedophile ringor something like that, but he
will be able to show it. And imagine that's like my line

(04:17):
of defense while Mike Tyson sitting there crying and.
I mean, Scott is 69, but I I don't think.
He was Mike fucking Tyson. He.
Would not help in the slightest.I would cut through him like,
but the fact that you would evenput him against me makes me
angry. And I'm a beat both y'all
equally harder than I was going to do before.
I just watched that. And I'm just like, why?

(04:38):
Because he's also like, I'm not going to he's he seems like a
good guy. Oh yeah.
But he gets real emotional at the drop of a hat.
And it just that's, that's the most frightening people.
I don't. Not well.
So far he hasn't killed anybody on this podcast so.
Yeah, but. Scared a lot of people or once a
couple. Once once you think about like

(04:59):
his punches and the healing time, like once something has
like, you know, a recovery time,that's when I'm like, I don't
want to do all that. Now if we went and got most a
little Russian dude who I thought was a baby.
Remember Mike Tyson kiss him on the head, we got Hezbollah.
Like he'll get mad but that's like little baby punches.

(05:21):
You know what I'm saying? I bring my 4 year old autistic
son over here, whoop his ass, unleash him on there.
If you say to my son, he immediately like he just locked.
It's like he's a super soldier. I swear to God, because he could
just be playing everything fun you go, he just and looks at
you. Did you just tell me?

(05:41):
To like you're a fuck it and I doesn't blink, does it?
Nothing just stares at you. Tell me to.
And then you do it again. He's coming to whoop that and
like he will, he'll come over and just start whooping ass.
And that's the only thing that does it.
Just set him off. Right, so it's like he went
through his own MK Ultra thing. I'm trying to think of what I
watched. In the past life.
While Amy was pregnant. He was told to SH the wrong

(06:02):
time. Right.
He was like a World War 2 soldier, you know what I'm
saying? And then while he was dying, the
Russian guy was just like, or German guy.
We didn't fight the Russians, wewere teammates.
Imagine maybe? That's a different timeline.
But that's look at how beautifulthat is because you think about
how like crazy Russians rememberhow they used to say like,

(06:23):
because they used to be, you know, Russians were the the
craziest type of. And now Russians will be like,
look at American citizens, They're wild.
And those two countries, if theycould just get along and we
could just be drinking vodka, riding polar bears together,
that's beautiful. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure the
people will do that. The government's not so much,
but the people. You know, Mario, so we do have

(06:49):
submissions. We did it.
I, I think I actually messed up and might have skipped some over
the past couple weeks. And so I I found ones that I
think we have not done. We had a lot.
More we're going to we're going to take our time with them.
We're not going to like. You're going to need to send it
to its own e-mail address just so that it's not like in like,
no spam no. They're important stuff.

(07:10):
Which one does it go to? It goes.
It goes to my business 1. OK, you could have just read
like the first letter of it, nota known, but no, you wouldn't
have because your business one and then the one for the podcast
is they both start. The same one.
But we're going to do advice on these podcasts.
I like that just to kind of havethat in there.
And then, you know, people need,they need our advice because we

(07:32):
give the premium advice, premium, premium advice.
And it's not a Patreon thing. It's not like, you know, if you
do the Patreon, you get the advice, which shout out to the
fucking people that did it. Because I did not think like, I
think together we're at like, you know, with all the
membership things, 80 people, 80people were like, we feel bad
about you guys. So much like Michael obviously

(07:53):
needs to. Yeah, Mike obviously needs
therapy so bad that we've all done this.
And what that really does help us do because we've restarted
the old YouTube, it helps us do skits and stuff like that, helps
us get this podcast out farther.So that is, I do want to thank
each and everyone of you, even though some of you, Yeah, I'm

(08:16):
talking to you right there. You just looked over there all
like a. Look directly at your your
stereo. I would never tell somebody to
do something, but if you could, just why you think about it, if
you were like, should I do this,patron?
Think about that. Like in the arms of an Angel and
then me naked and like a duck. And I'll just look it up, yeah.

(08:37):
That should terrify you enough to just open your eyes.
I'm not gonna lie. If I was in the army and I like
busted into a house and it was like a trafficking ring, but all
people who look like me, I just,I just kind of want to leave.
What happens when we let these things out?
Are they gonna bite or somethinglike that?
I mean, big boys have to. Put them all down.
Like imagine if there was a bunch of me naked on PCP.
That's terrifying. Well, yeah, like all like strung

(08:59):
out and skinnied up by doing a bunch of meth.
I've met that meth it's I have. Yeah, they're the minority.
So we're going to get to some ofthis advice.
Well, one thing that I was wanting to say on that that line
of topic though, is like you don't feel you don't have to
feel the need to like sign up for the monthly thing we read on

(09:22):
2 daddies, judge and baddies that you know this person came
into a life changing amount of money and was.
Like, oh man, yeah. 2.5 million to one kid and then 1.5 million
to. Let me tell you, it was am I the
asshole? And it was, it was like if I
give one child 2.5 million and then I give the other child 1.5
million because she had came into a lot of money.
She ain't got no family. Her best friend's.

(09:44):
Kids, she has kids and everything, but she's just
wanting to be nice. Her so her best friend has like
kids and she's, she felt like she helped raise the older one.
She's given the best friend money too.
And I was just like, what who would be a who would be mad at
that situation? And then I reenacted like her
here in the news. I was like, yeah, so I, I want
to be honest with you, Samantha.I came into a lot of money and

(10:04):
you know, I want to give you, you know, 1.5 million, your baby
1.5 million and then your oldestdaughter 2.5 million.
And I don't want that to hurt your field.
And the whole time Samantha is just trying to like since he's
like 2, so he's 1.55 million andoh God, wait a second.
You gotta okay, I'm not mad. I just need you to stop so I can

(10:24):
breathe because like who the fuck is gonna be mad at that?
Well, and all I was gonna say islike wow, you guys are imagining
Mike in a kennel naked. You can just go over to the buy
me a coffee thing and rather than doing it monthly, you can
just put 1.5 million straight toit and then.
That's it, right? You do it.
Monthly, I mean you. Got to think with the people

(10:45):
that listen to this, they're you're 7 people away.
We're seven people away from Warren Buffett.
Show Warren Buffett this and then be like, listen for 1.5
million. I'll kill both of these guys and
he'll be like, good because the world will be better off so much
better. Yeah, because he's he listens to
it. He's like what the fuck are are
you? I don't think they're savable.
I think you got to just put themdown.
That's what I'm saying, yes, for, you know, just only $1.5

(11:07):
million. You know, Warren Buffett was in
the office. In the office, he appeared.
Yeah, he was in the episode where they were trying to
replace Michael Scott. He was the one.
He was asking if they charged iflong distance phone calls were
charged or if he made calls to other countries.
I have to remember. But yeah, he was in it.
That was the episode where Jim Carrey was in it and.

(11:30):
I need to just sit down and watch it.
I've watched episodes here and there.
I've never. Watched Everybody Hates Raymond.
I don't know that guy's name. He was in that episode.
A bunch of people in that episode.
Will Ferrell was in that episodeand then went on to be in the
next three episodes and fucking terrible.
Yeah, I like Will Ferrell. I enjoy some of his movies.
I like Will Ferrell in the Office, though.

(11:51):
He was not that was Steve Carellsetting and the energy he
brought was just not the IT wasn't the energy that we liked.
And they didn't know what to do with his character, so they kept
flip flopping and around at first.
He was a like an actually like an actual good boss and then at
one point like he's like screaming at cake because he he
keeps like taking a bite and throwing it in the trash can

(12:12):
because he used to be fat. And it is.
They did so many things with hischaracter that just kind of
fucked it all that. Was after Steve left.
Yeah, yeah, a couple, couple episodes after Goodbye Michael.
All right, so I'm going to get into a submission.
Like I said, I want to do just acouple of these an episode

(12:32):
because I still like the banter,the Taco chip back and forth,
the flirting. The lower the yeah, the lower.
That's what we call it. It's pretty gay.
We're going to be members of theLGBTQ.
Yeah, we actually ran into some people out there before we came
in and started recording this and they're like, so you're

(12:53):
going to be working for like 5 or 6 hours tonight.
Like how many hours? How many of those hours are you
guys going to be making out and.I immediately I was like, well,
if it's five hours, probably like 4 1/2, four and a half of
making out. The title says please keep Anon,
which is slang for anonymous if you were not in the know.
Yeah. It's not.

(13:14):
I can't think of 1. Q Anon, that could be it.
That is the rights version of. Does it still exist?
What's the left one? Antifa, Q, Anon and antifa.
That's all you heard shit about back in the day and now you
don't hear nothing about it anymore because come to find
out, when the media stops talking about it, shit that

(13:34):
wasn't real doesn't exist anymore.
All right, so am I the asshole for telling my girlfriend I
don't like the friendship bracelet from her guy best
friend? I'm so glad my wife doesn't have
a guy best friend and I have to deal with that.
Like, you know, conundrum message.
Not a ChatGPT story but I put itin there to make my writing make

(13:55):
more sense. Sorry, not a college student as
it's mainly useless. Not a college student as it's
mainly useless. All right, well, listen, I wish
I could run my reading through jet GPT like I just.
Reading. Yeah, just have a.
My brain. Yeah.
All right, so my girlfriend has been a little distant lately.

(14:17):
Her guy best friend who used to live with her and even shared A
room. That's weird.
Recently moved in, moved away for college.
Imagine busting in on your wife and another person and they're
just like, we're just sharing a room right now and then but this
person is just like. He sleeps on the top bunk, I
sleep on the bottom. There's no bumps.
Yeah, we just, that's what each side's called before he left.

(14:39):
He bought them matching long distance bracelets that I've
seen on TikTok where you press abutton and it notifies the other
person that you're thinking of them.
How? Does that even work?
I don't know like cuz I mean they have to have its own own
like cell phone plan unless likehow would it communicate?
Walkie-talkie thing. Like, I don't fucking know.
But yeah, like there's a limiteddistance.

(15:00):
If it's like directly connected,how the fuck does that work?
Not if you live under the house.Or it just automatically
randomly goes off to make peoplefeel special.
Right. Like all they're thinking about
me and they're the fucking dead.They've overdosed like 5 days to
go. They're a corpse.
It's just like a bunch of. Ants.
Oh my God, it's like, and then now, even though they're dead,
look, just wait, it goes off. They're thinking about me.

(15:21):
They. Still think about me and.
Then there's someone in Asia like, Oh yes, he'd think about
you. He'd think about that's why I go
off. He'd think about you.
I don't know why I was racist. Asian rock.
What? I was racist.
The no, because I could have done the Oh yeah, she really,
really thinking about you right now.
I could have just done that 10 shitty walk.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, he died.

(15:45):
My favorite Asian fake Asian accent is I think her name was
Misses Wong on. He looking like a man.
He looking like a man. Yeah.
At first I didn't realize what the bracelets were, but once I
found out, I wasn't very comfortable with it.
I feel like she should have toldyou that, brother.
Yeah, Like, why does that? Why does that keep lighting up
while we're masturbating? I'm like trying to Co

(16:07):
masturbate. It keeps like lighting up and
every time you look at it, you keep going harder.
You do that too? What?
Co masturbating who doesn't do that?
That's a that's look. It's a fun moment when you don't
want to do if you're like feeling lazy and you and your
girls trying to get it on. We can just do it ourselves
faster that way. Yeah, yeah, right.
Like, listen, we've been together for a while and you

(16:28):
know me well, but this guy, he has been with me since birth.
He knows exactly the right pressure, everything.
Then she brings out the rabbit. Yes, thus the the the Super
quantal clit pleaser 5000 and it's just like, yeah, this guy,
I don't know who the fuck made it, but they knew what to make

(16:48):
book all of our shit. Like if you look up stuff for
guys I ain't sticking my Dick inthat this is like may RIP off
Dick or some shit. Like I'm not sticking my Dick
inside of a fucking. The same thing is with like the
flashlight is like the flashlight.
Grab your cup right now. Like that's how big a
flashlight. Is flashlight there's.

(17:08):
Oh, it's just a flashlight. Very inconspicuous like.
Imagine a kid runs into the living room or something with a
flash. It's like you're like right, all
right, get back, just what the fuck are you doing?
Flashlights are stupid too because who wants to buy
something to then still have to do the work?

(17:31):
Yeah, because it doesn't. It's just completely manual.
I assume that you just like how do you sit there with the
fucking with that here and just Oh yeah.
What are you doing in there, Dad?
Dad, what are you doing? What are you doing in there?
Squishing grapes and they're stepping on.

(17:51):
Oh, y'all are making wine. You're making wine in there.
I just saw a video. We just went to that wine making
place. You're in there making.
You're stepping on grapes in there without me.
Yeah. I want to come in there.
I want to join you. I want to step on grapes.
What a blast stepping on the grapes, all right.
That's not appropriate. That is very all right.
This is because he often does things with her that feels more

(18:12):
like dates than just friend Hangouts, going out to dinner,
brunch, etcetera. I brought it up to her and I
told her I didn't like how thoseactivities seem like dates and
that the bracelets made me feel uncomfortable.
She told me there's never been anything romantic between them.
But since then she's been even more distant and has spent
several days and nights at his parents house with him.

(18:32):
Did I overstep or am I the asshole?
She getting her fuck on brother.I'm sorry, this is sad too, just
because it's an actual listener and so.
Like also love your podcast. Listen to both of them
constantly. As a Magic and Yu-gi-oh player,
they don't correlate very much and switching back and forth is
often very tricky. For me, that was written down
South. Suck a Dick, buddy.
All right, I'm telling that to Dylan, not not you, the listener

(18:54):
who is, who has a girlfriend that's currently sleeping with a
best friend. But I'm sorry, that is because
here's the thing, if you bring it up how it makes you feel
uncomfortable and then she gets obviously like this.
Or pushes further away. Right.
She gets defensive about it and then goes and stays at his
parents house with him for a couple of nights.
This is not a real guy best friend thing.

(19:17):
This is a they got and I don't understand why people they just
don't fucking date. And yeah, maybe it's a, you
know, she wants. He didn't leave any age things
and that, did he? No.
No. He said he the friend was going
off to college. So I don't know whether they're
like. You know.

(19:37):
Still fairly young. I mean when I was like 21 I
broke up with a girl because of that.
Very similar. Situation probably it is is you
know, he's going off to college and he understands that he was
going to be trying to get some pussy there so he was like we
need to break it off and then you know he leaves so she gets
with a guy but she's still in love with him and I mean

(19:57):
eventually that dude's going to break her heart but.
That's after he's. Well, and if they're.
All young socket enough. Listen, I I that sounds
terrible. OK, it sounds terrible, but I do
got to give you the harsh adviceto say cut it the fuck off,
brother, Like cut it the fuck off because this is not a
normal. She has a guy friend.
Well, if you tell a girl like, hey, I feel like some of this,
you know, stuff your guy friend,if she really does not have

(20:20):
feelings for him and has feelings for you, and she'll be
like, yeah, you know, I can, youknow, tell him to back off or
whatever is going to make you feel comfortable and shit like
that. But.
But to automatically get just defensive about it and then be
like, well, I'm not talking to you.
Going over to stay at his parents house once again, I
think that is a pretty good signthat yeah, look, just break up

(20:43):
with a man. We'll play some match together
or something. OK, Yeah.
Get her off your mind while I just beat your cheeks in a card
game. Elegant, elegant.
Way to go all along then. What?
You and your beating cheeks and and.
We have to do something where like people are like, it would
be so fun. And I'm the only fucking person

(21:04):
that would be like, no, I don't want to teach Dylan how to play.
It would not be fun for me. I'd just be sitting there.
Just no, you don't do it like that, bud.
I don't. Think it'd be fun for me.
I don't think it's a game that would be interesting in my
world. I think because you're so close
to Gen. X, you would because you like, I
don't know anything that's goingon, but I'm having a good time.
Like I'm here with friends and you know, I, it's something I
take personally and I'll just belike, why?

(21:26):
Why the fuck would you? I just thought I could do it.
You thought you could do it. Well, now you're going to
fucking lose to this guy. And I, I just guided you, guided
you to a victory. Could have won it if you would
have just listened to. Me.
Yeah. What if I just play and you just
fucking play it? What if I play this guy?
No. Now you fucking lose.
Dylan, What are you? What the fuck are you doing?
God, I tell you very seriously. Tell you about my basketball

(21:47):
career when I was in junior high.
Basketball career? Did y'all not have any black
people at your school? No.
OK, yeah. So not a single one.
Let's talk about it. So when I was in 7th grade, I
decided to go out for the basketball team just because,
you know, all my friends were doing it.
And that's like 9 kids in my 9 guys in my class and we were all

(22:08):
in the basketball team and I wasalways the one that similar to
my like gym story about like I'djust steal the fucking ball from
people. That's pretty much all I was
good at. Like I was not, I was not making
a single shot. I was not.
You pass me the ball. I need to pass it to somebody
else if we want to. Score.
And so literally every warm up when we were like at like

(22:30):
playing a game somewhere else orplaying a game at our, our gym,
it would always be while we're shooting like, you know, layups
and trying to like just warm up on the court.
Every single one, I'd throw it, I'd be fuck, throw it, shit,
throw it, goddamn it, every single time.
So like I was like literally, but like, I wanted to play, I

(22:52):
wanted to be better, but like, Ijust suck.
So like, I would be just as angry with sucking at that game,
but I just don't think it'd be that interesting for me.
So how good was the basketball team?
I mean, there were good kids on it, but like we also played
against a bunch of people that were white.
Like there was no. So there was no I.
Mean there's there's people of color around but like the it's

(23:13):
predominantly white area like because it's out in the sticks
where there's a bunch of farmland and like there's no
cities nearby so like if you were to go into the cities, but
once you get in I. Wonder how many people are
thinking like Dylan so woke because he said people of color.
What? I'm not going to say it.
Joey Swollway. Because there are, we did play
against colored. And it's like, whoa, brother,

(23:36):
what are you doing? It's like a little.
I am just trying to make this quicker.
That is all I'm doing. I'm just trying to, yeah, I'm
trying to cut some words out and.
But yeah, technically if you were to go to the City Schools,
like obviously that's a bigger population.
So you don't play against those schools.
Like it with the same 9 kids that are going to play all the
way through, never have to worryabout making the team.

(23:58):
Like, no, there's, there's no black people in those schools.
I've never heard of a like. A small town where it's just all
black people. A small town where it's all
black. Yeah, it's just imagine that
just you just go down there and it's just a small town of all
black people. And then it's, you know, it's
like a white family coming in and they're just like, look at
these mother fuckers coming in. There goes the fucking

(24:19):
neighborhood. Here comes a God damn.
I mean, they probably want to bewrong in their neighborhood
that. Comes a fucking Starbucks is
that they're going to start bringing their friends over.
They're going to be having barbecues.
Yeah, no, it's it's wild. Like I.
I hope that no, we're not bud, OK?
My whole family's scared to comedown here so.
They won't come to this neighborhood.

(24:40):
It's too rough. What's too rough?
The white side of town. Yeah, the, the white side of
town. I would like to think of roles
reversed. I don't see.
I think, look, I think the only reason talk this, I don't know
if this is gonna sound racist. It's probably gonna sound it's
probably gonna sound racist, butI'm gonna go for it anyways.
I'm gonna shoot for the moon, all right?

(25:01):
I don't know how long white people would have been slaves
cuz you know, I think at a certain point, but it was like,
why the fuck are they so goddamnslow?
You know what I'm saying? I can do it.
Faster myself, right, right. I need you to run down to the
store. I need you to run down to the
store and grab all this shit forme.
He's like, well, you've been gone for two hours.
Sometimes when I was running fast as I could master, I just

(25:22):
couldn't get there fast enough. It's like, Jesus Christ, fuck
you running like a fucking 54 white guy.
Just I'm just fucking shaking in.
That's what I'm saying. At some point, I listen.
I think that's like the least racist thing you've ever said.
We're just. Gonna let y'all guys go.
We're just going. Y'all just go off and do your
own thing. I think that is like the least

(25:43):
racist joke you've ever had. Was it pretty close it?
Was pretty good, right? Yeah.
Not very racist. Does it give innuendos A and if
anything, well? Now you can dig a deeper hole.
I'm. Trying to.
I'm trying to because you said it wasn't racist enough.
Not racist enough. I did not use those words.
Do I want to I was like, do I want to fuck up my joke?
Because if anything it would. It does.

(26:05):
It did show I'm going to read the next one.
All right. So am I the asshole for hitting
my Co worker with a wrench? Probably not.
They deserved it. Probably not.
All right, I 28 male, worked in the oil field for about a year.
We had just hired a 19 year old worm for the crew.
I thought he was saying woman and I was like, listen, I'm not

(26:27):
the type of person that's like, you know, just because they're a
woman, they get a pass. Have you seen the video of the?
Guy being I have. Not seen the video where his
wife was involved though. I've just seen him absolutely
laying him out, clearing out a fucking herd full of hoes like

(26:47):
that. He's just a bunch of bitches.
Just haymakers, that one. Girl that was against the car
like he got hurt like 3 times before she laid down he.
Did. And he, I'm not going to lie,
like he was, he was. He has pretty good movement
about him fucking him up. I mean.
I did not. His wife was like all the way
back because I was like, yeah, man, I would be.
He's just like, where's his? Wife.

(27:09):
He's giving that bitch the business.
And then he goes back across thefield to his wife.
And I was like, I the first partof the video because they're
everybody's just like he was defending his wife.
I was like, she was out of danger.
He was that she was out of danger and he was just geeking
that bitch like fucking Oh my God.
I was, look, I'm not one to onceagain immediately be like, well,

(27:32):
just because, you know, she's a woman, but wife was out of
danger and she was not remotely close to the danger.
And that girl, that one specificgirl, I don't know.
See. Yeah, that's all I got is the
recording of. He was on the ground like

(27:54):
beating up. Beating up the blinders.
Two of them and then stood up toget the other.
And then stood up. She was.
I think pulling him off, I thinkthe one girl that he ended up
like laying down, like she was like trying to pull him off of
the other girls and then he justturned and fucking clocked her
like 4 * 3 four times. Clocked her shit up.
And like hit her like a like shewas a fucking dude that was

(28:15):
about to murder. What the whole Internet says,
hey, and look, it brings up the conversation.
If your wife is getting jumped, are you going to help her?
Which me? If it's a one-on-one fight, I
know my wife was not part of that.
You know what I'm saying? And if you run up on my wife,
no. Matter what, you're going to get
your wife out. However, you're going to get her
out of the situation, right? I just might throw a soccer kick

(28:39):
to help get her out of that situation.
Like. That's what I'm getting at is
like, if she's in it, you're getting her out of it, however
that has to happen. By any means necessary.
And then you can discuss detailsafterwards, but.
But yeah, it didn't look like a whole lot of defending the wife
because they look like he was like, finally, this is my time
to shout. I've been thinking about this

(29:00):
moment. I've been mad at her.
Yeah, for my yeah, I actually have a lot of pent up
aggression. Over a woman to put up with her
shit. And so I'm going to take it out
on you. And and by me doing this, maybe
it'll teach her a lesson not to fucking, not to get me real
angry this. Is what I could do this?
Is what I could do so I'm all pop off from like the fucking

(29:20):
1950s looking down and just like, that's exactly what I
that's what I would do to his memo if that bitch didn't have
my dinner done. Precisely.
I love God, look, I love it whenpeople are like, they
romanticize the 1920s and they're just like all the
fucking and you know, I'm just like, yeah, you got any black

(29:42):
friends, black relatives? Are you black?
Because they would not be havinga good time.
Also. Yeah, you having your little
romance and then you go out backand you're like, I'm a Darnold.
I don't want to go out there. He's like, he will go out there.
Shane slapped her up a couple times.
I'll come back in and dance withme and give me a kiss, darling.
So romantic. Beat your motherfucking ass.

(30:04):
Also, there's a big swan flu or yeah, swan flu epidemic going on
right now, killing everybody. And it's like, oh, we could just
take medication. There is none.
What, you want some leeches? Bitch blank.
We we can get you a bowl full ofleeches.
Like, oh, you're sick. You got the fever.
Fuck yeah, 1920s they were stilllike fuck the fever.
It's just everything. Yeah, you get the fever.
Fucking look, we're trying to brace for the winter.

(30:26):
That's when everything bad always was like the like the
fever, the winter, the war. It's like God damn all.
That's all that's going on rightnow.
But at night, if you are, you know, you got some money and
you're not poor, you can go out dancing with a guy who's
probably going to beat you or ifhe wants to rape you, and then

(30:47):
we'll not get in trouble for it.He's just a guy.
That's a guy urge, that's what. Were you wearing?
Right. Yeah, that's that's back in the
day where you had defenses of well, well, Your honor, my
client here is just he's a man. He has urges and it's like she
was. Showing her ankles.
Right, yeah, and the judge is like, I've had urges too.
Not guilty, honestly. Not only not guilty, I sent you

(31:10):
to beat that bitch's ass. All right, so he was green as
green gets and didn't want to listen to anyone.
I'm going to start over. I read one line.
Am I the asshole for hitting my coworker with a wrench?
I 28 male, worked in the oil field for about a year.
We just hired a 19 year old wormfor the crew.
He was green as green gets and didn't want to listen to anyone.
However, out there, if you're not listening to people to what

(31:33):
people are telling you, you're going to lose limbs or worse.
I told him multiple times do notput his hand on the handrail
when we were tripping pipe. He wouldn't listen and kept
doing it. Dylan, I bet you've tripped pipe
before. I've tripped and I worked for
the pipeline but never tripped pipe.
Fucking pipe tripper that look. New slider, new slur alert.
New slur alert. It's very racist.

(31:56):
I wish I had a job where I just came up with slurs.
I'd be good at it. Fuck, I'd be fucking great at
it. All right, so.
I told him it was a good day, a good way to lose a hand, and if
he did it again I was going to hit him with a pipe wrench.
So he did it again and I hit himin the head with a pipe he had a
hard head on. He then proceeded to quit the
job and walk out on the job site.

(32:16):
Not the asshole. It's like a shock collar man,
even though I don't like shock collars.
For dogs, Yeah. Why?
I don't fucking know. I mean it's not good, but you
also like the point of them isn't to shock them, it's to
make it so that they don't get shocked.

(32:37):
So like with my my parents use one for their dog and it's
mostly a beep color. Like as long as a beep corrects
him, he's good. And the guy type of a prisons
like, yeah, that Rifleman up there is not, you know, if you
run and so you don't run. Yeah, he's a good thing.
He is. He's a good thing.

(32:58):
Yeah. You know, you motherfuckers
down. Look, I feel like if you went to
prison before 1960, you a bitch.Like you suck at crime.
Why? How the fuck do you get caught?
Ain't no cameras. Literally a lot of people, if
anybody witness you do it, you can just kill them.

(33:20):
And then if you if you mow out like, you know, 12 people,
everybody that I just saw you, they're going to be like, sniff
the wind, Watson. See if you can catch a whiff of
It's like I smell vanilla. A bitch must have done it.
Like there's no way you have scientific, you can't just
fingerprint. It was probably even easier like
like the thing back then is likepeople didn't have.

(33:42):
If something happened outside here, 9090% of the people
wouldn't see it because they're just like this the whole fucking
time. But you could.
Literally what you're saying. I was like, I ain't got nothing
better to do than to look off inthe distance.
Yeah, it was up. Most other people keep it.
Through windows and fucking like, oh, the way it was so
locked in on at the neighbor's house, like what's what's going
on over there? I just watched an unsolved

(34:02):
mystery and it was from like 2021 and this dude and lady just
get killed on this bench. The guy just walks up and
executes him in front of a busy highway that's full of cars just
going by. Nothing.
Nobody saw a thing. Not a not a damn thing.
It's like, hey man, we know you get off of work and you would

(34:23):
have probably been driving by here at this time, did you?
See, one of our listeners was probably, oh wait, it was 2021.
So now. Yeah, I was like, did you drive
by this place? And he's like, there's a bench
there. There's like there's a fucking
yeah, it's underneath this one, like little bridge.
He's like there's a bridge there.
Fuck. It's like, wow, yeah, maybe
nobody saw anything. Fuck.
Yeah, well, and The thing is, islike, you think like there's all

(34:45):
these cameras around them, but the cameras are shit.
Like you can't see, you can't make out a single face.
Look, I can't, I can't stand when they're like, you know,
here's a picture of this fuckingplanet, you know, 7 galaxies
away. But still to this day they're
like, hey, have you seen this guy who fucking broke into this
place? And it's a fucking just a
pixelated from the IT looks likea 1970s photo.

(35:06):
Well, yeah, but there's like very, very, very high intent of
recording that one frame of the fucking planet from forever
away. Technically it's not a direct
picture. They say they they like generate
it from all these other picturesand stuff.
Well. Like when I used to shoot
astrophotography, I would take multiple pictures so that I
could get like the foreground, like the stuff close to me and
then get like the the stars in the sky.

(35:28):
And then you composite them together to make one photo
that's like very well put together.
And that's like a very intentional process.
But like if you were to try and like steal from one of these
places, unless they've got like a 4K fucking camera pointing
directly at where you walked into.
But like if you broke into the window that's just on the side
of the frame, like it gets supershitty over there.

(35:49):
And so then, but you're recording hours and hours and
hours and hours and hours and hours of footage, whereas that
was like 1 frame that they're like, we want the picture of
that planet. And so it's way more, it's way
easier to get a really crisp picture of that and then not
catch that. Explanation makes you sound like
a fucking nerd bro. I am a nerd.
I'm. Not going to lie, I'm going to
just say, don't make sense how you can take a picture of a

(36:12):
planet 55 light years away, but a motherfucker that breaks to a
bank. You're still asking us to like,
where's all that CSI technology where they're like, Unfuzzy the
photo enhance, yeah, enhance it,enhance it, enhance it, and then
fucking it enhances it to a 4K photo.
Yeah, it's like AI where it's like a fucking they got 14
fingers and like all these weird.
Knuckles and shit like CSI CSI tries to do.

(36:36):
It was like enhance the photo. God damn it.
Once again it's an Asian man every time.
God, this is the. Same one.
Every time we get these bank pictures, it's always an Asian
guy. Enhance.
Right. Yeah, man.
Why does he have 3 nostrils? An Asian man with three
nostrils. Over 900 crimes.
Every police station, every police station was still have.

(36:57):
Not ran across him once. Once elusive, right?
He one time, somehow he was at the same place at the same time,
in California and in New York robbed a bank at the same time.
Exactly like to the second. Every time you do the little
thing like the AI shit really itdoes, like people just get
slowly more Asian. It always baffled me.

(37:18):
I heard the like in China on thestreets, they put like the
facial recognition thing. I feel like that's the worst
place to test that technology out at.
Aw, that's racist. That's not racist bro.
Look every I believe all white people look the same, all black
people look the same, all Asian people look the same, but all
Asian people look the same. A little bit more than the other

(37:39):
races. It's true like we ought.
Like if you are a race, you're going to have similarities of
other races. Asian people just have to happen
to have more similarities. Like, you know, the facial
recognition thing goes off. They're like, we got them.
You know, we've got when we've scanned their face, we've
narrowed it down to 4.5 million individuals.
There are a lot of a billion people over there too.

(38:00):
They do have a lot of people. Look, I'm saying cuz God Bless
America, if you ask black people, they'll be like, yes,
all white people and all Asian people look the same.
They will say if you ask Asian people, they'll be like all
white people. Black people look the same.
That's the thing though, is likeif you're in the culture, like
if you are one of those people, it makes it way easier to
differentiate between other people.

(38:21):
Like so white people can differentiate between white
people way easier versus when welook at another culture, we see
the similarities more so than the differences.
And like it's, it's just simpler, like simpler for them
like. This, this is what we should do.
When we have money. We're going to do like Mr.
Beast. Games with ours are all going to
be fucked up. What we'll do is we'll give a

(38:42):
guy a picture of a random brunette woman.
OK, just a 19 year old, not skinny, not fat, kind of in
between, not thick, between thick and skinny white woman,
OK, with pants on, with a hole in it and like an American eagle
jacket. And then we're going to send him
into a Taylor Swift concert and he has four hours to find that
woman. Man, that's like worse than

(39:04):
Where's Waldo? That's what I'm saying.
Like there, he's going to walk in.
He's just going to be like, oh fuck, they all look alike.
That's what I'm saying. It's not Jesus Christ.
Everything is not racist. But everything you say is.
I mean, kind of, but still. Imagine being like, oh, I wanna,
you know, I feel like I'm picking and playing with my
other humanoid brothers and sisters.

(39:26):
So we didn't mention Latin people like what do you, where
do they fall on the the look alike scale?
They all look different until they get old and then they all,
you know, turn into the they turn into the same people.
Have you noticed that? It's like how an Asian person
that until they're fucking 90 years old, they look like

(39:48):
they're 22. Year is that white people age
the worst out of everybody. I don't know, I feel like
because we get fucked up by the sun, man.
Well, I think, I really think that.
I think we age. Earlier and then like what?
If we are aliens, what if we're not actually supposed to be
here? What white people?
Yeah, because you think about it, man, think about how long
like evolution takes and shit like that.

(40:09):
And it's not been that long since we've been on here and we
just got, we look like we have zero color, 0 fucking color.
And you go right down to Mexico.You know what I'm saying?
Well. We're not from here.
Oh yeah, I'm fucking. That was retarded.
That was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever said.
OK, Europe, you're pretty fucking big.

(40:31):
All right, look, hey, listen, mybrain thought it was on to
something, but still, like, we weren't in there that long.
It was like everybody was fucking bronze color back in the
Bible times I think. I don't think any white people
were mentioned. I think this.
Is the this is the hardest part?Well, they don't really mention

(40:52):
color in the Bible. Like it people are just people
in the Bible. But I think one of the hardest
things though is, and this is very Joe Rogan adjacent, but
like, I think our timeline's fucked up.
I think human civilization has been around a lot longer than
what our history books have toldus and what we believe.

(41:12):
And like, we don't know. Yes, people can guess certain
things, but there's a lot of it that makes it seem like it's
possible that we could have beenaround for substantially longer.
And then like if everything wereto go out right now, we lose all
technology, it all goes to shit.We'd basically be cave people
again, hunter gatherers, we'd lose all of our science and

(41:36):
mathematics and all that stuff would have to be relearned in
the future because you're not going to piss away your fucking
time doing math and shit when you have to hunt to survive.
Like so if society were to go downhill that far, it would
basically be like the reset button.
So then. We have all these big structures
and shit that. Just that would crumble to

(41:57):
fucking nothing. These these things will not last
100 years after people died. If people died right now, every
single thing in Lexington, NC would be covered in vegetation.
You're blowing my mind. So what if at one point we was
here and then it No, I'm talkingabout white people because then
I sound less stupid now and theneverything crumbled and for some

(42:19):
reason we went back over to Europe because it was like, hey,
at least the sun ain't out therethat much.
You know what I'm? Saying, I mean, we just go
north, we go to. But yeah, you're just trying to
say like we were here, where are.
North America from France. France.
Yeah, Yeah. Look, see, I am smart,
Frenchies. And I do know.
I do know that we came here, OK.I know the story of Christopher

(42:42):
Columbus discovering the What did he discover the Caribbean or
something? Yeah, But they it alerted people
that there was land this way. I know all this.
Just when my brain was firing about us being aliens is a funny
joke. I did.
I was like, I forgot. Look, I this I'm sorry to the
Native Americans, all right, That's who I'm sorry to because

(43:03):
we did. We really did come over here and
we was just like, y'all gotta we're sorry.
Take a walk it. Wasn't.
It wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't.
Me, I didn't do it. It wasn't our families at all.
Yeah, no mine. Mine came here in the 1800s,
right? Late late 1800s.
After they'd already decimated this whole.
Country and yeah after. Pushed everybody off.

(43:24):
Mine were just a bunch of potatoeaters, all right.
A bunch of Irish. Irish eating potato
motherfuckers. Wait, potato eating Irish
motherfuckers? There we go.
There we go. Irish eating potato
motherfuckers. That'd be the British.
Irish eating. Yeah, nobody talks about how
shitty the royal family is. I think they're, yeah.

(43:45):
I mean. I mean, cuz that when people
talk about like the potato famine and shit, there was not a
famine like there was an there was an abundance of food and
shit like that. We just had to send it all to
fucking different countries, mostly to Britain and England.
It is England at this point. But what do they still refer to

(44:05):
it as? Britain?
Yeah, like fucking I think so. That area, Britain, British
Kingdom or I don't know, I don'tknow what they refer to it as
now. I just call it.
I'm not cultured. Yeah, I just call them British
because that's who we clapped in1776.
So I want them to remember ain'tno name changes going on now.
I. Think they just have a fuck ton
of names. They just, they'll just be like

(44:26):
London, we're London, England, that's it.
No, you're the British. Y'all got fucking, y'all got tea
bagged by by some people was like, you know what, I bet we, I
bet we could cross that motherfucker tonight.
You think so? I think so.
I got some toilet wine in the back.
Look, let's, let's all drink a little bit of toilet wine.
We're going to see if we're going to cross this, We're going

(44:49):
to see if we're going to cross this river tonight.
Did they have toilets to make toilet wine?
They had. They had.
Houses bell pans. Yeah, there you go.
Some some bed pan wine we're going to drink.
I guess what was a chamber pot would have been.
There you go. The term the chamber pot brews
that they were making then we'regoing to drink some of this and
then we're going to go fucking and you know it starts off the

(45:09):
like when they're like they're starting to get confident when a
drunk guy starts to get confident, he starts pee yeah
his arm and he's like Peacock and he's like, well you know
what the fuck? I feel like I feel like they'll
do that, you know, they start doing that shit.
I. Think we're about to do for one
of those what, another Tea Party, but not not the crazy one
happening. No, it ain't going to happen.
People like people like their politicians too much.

(45:31):
Don't talk about politics wagging Dylan.
I saw somebody just. Be racist.
They were so mad about the Epstein thing.
They're like, well where have you guys been at for four years?
It's just cuz it's the orange man.
And I was like either which way,I don't get how that absolves
the situation. If it is just to take out the

(45:51):
orange man. OK, but like there's still
pedophiles, whoever the fuck they.
Are it's like doesn't matter like what if Obama's on it?
OK, go fire like. Take them out.
All of them. Like what are you talking about?
Like it's. Cool.
And The thing is though, is likethey say, like the people on the
left weren't saying anything, but it was because it was so
feverishly promoted by the rightof Epstein and kill himself.

(46:15):
The whole meme was all on the right.
And then now surprise. Guys just got on different
things and they ended with Epstein doesn't kill.
And then like that's the guy. They know the truth.
Have you done your research? Have you done your research,
brother? Because I did my research.
Well, now it's fake. All your research was fake.
I did different research, come to find out, as soon as he said
that, I thought about for five seconds.

(46:35):
That was my research. And I believe him, which I don't
think it's a lot of people that believe.
I don't think they think he's a.But it's just wild to see
somebody that's just like so adamant that like, oh, the only
reason that people want any of this to come out is because it
will take out Trump. And like, I'm sorry, but even if
that was true, that's it's. Not so gay, man.
I'm not it. Was true.
Like just just take out all the pedophiles.

(46:57):
Just show the show the list. Just show the list.
Defending a dude that hard? That's gay man.
Like that's some gay shit. And not the happy go.
Imagine, like, imagine you're trying to sit there with your
boy and he's just like, yeah, man, Don, you know, Donald Trump
do this, Donald Trump that. He has a Donald Trump T-shirt
on, Donald Trump hat. He's just, I'm like, brother, do
you want to suck his Dick? Like do you want to get on all
fours and fucking just suck the Dick while fucking playing with

(47:19):
the balls? Well, if he needed to, you know,
relax before he goes and talks to Putin or something.
Right. God damn, that's one thing, man.
Like I ain't gonna lie. The liberals will get on social
media and I'm like, if you are racist, I don't fuck with you.
That's the lamest shit, bro. That's the lamest.
And they, oh man, do. They really do that.
Bro so fucking much. They do the cornea shit, the

(47:41):
cornea shit. Like they'll come up with rhymes
and stuff like that and when they have like their little
gotcha things like that, they have to do it in such the
corniest fucking ways. That's corny though, But to just
sit there and just vehemently just black.
He he didn't do that. He loves us.
He fucking he he cares about he was you black bra.
That's gay. That is that.

(48:03):
And then they'll be like, haha, these are liberal cucks.
I'm like you literally brother of the day.
Listen, listen right here all right?
All y'all do was talk about thatman They're.
Not cucks if they're participate.
And so if if they're trying to participate in the, you know,
give him an, giving him a blowy or something like.

(48:23):
That had a person tell me a story about.
He was like, yeah, And they, he wanted me to sleep with this
guys. And then he joined in and I was
like, this is a gay story, buddy.
This is a gay story. He was like, well, it's
bisexual. And I was like, what's?
Splitting hairs here. Now, yeah, we're just, yeah,
tomato, tomato like we are. We're talking the difference
between an apple and a Granny Smith like that.

(48:43):
We're not going too far out right now.
All right, they'd be like, whoa,whoa, buddy, I don't like men.
I like both you, you like men and you like women.
So there's there's definitely gay there.
All right, I don't know. Look, people, how do we get
people to listen to those podcasts?

(49:04):
We've already listened because I've talked about this strangely
on the Two Daddies Judge and Baddies bonus episode where I
was like, we're going to turn Mike's villain arc.
Mike is no longer censoring anything.
We're releasing some skits next week that are like a lot of them
do have some rough jokes in them.

(49:25):
Like they have some, some tough jokes in them and I just want to
do me shit. I want to.
I am a very goofy individual. I have someone who likes to play
like wacky characters and stuff like that.
And I do like to make jokes where people go aw, fuck, but in
a funny way, you know, I don't want to.
I don't say the jokes just to beshocking.

(49:46):
And I'm, I'm a person too. I'm like, I can make a fucking
joke about anything and it can make people mad.
I'm I've always been of the person you guys hear how I talk.
I've always been the type of individual that says cancer
culture isn't real. Like it's real to guys who are
like fucking teenage girls or guys who fucking trap women in a
hotel room while they beat theirlike look and see Lucy K, you're

(50:09):
telling me that cancer culture? I'm like, the guy was beating
his Dick. Like imagine your girl goes out
and she calls and she says, hey,I'm in a hotel and this guy has
to be trapped in here and he's just jacking his Dick super
hard. You'd be like, oh God, I'm
fucking, I'm coming, baby. Stay on the phone with me.
Stay on the phone. Like hurry, please, because I'm

(50:29):
really scared of Louis CK. Like S Louis CK, come on, babe.
He's a fucking comedian. Like what are you trying to do?
Call me when he's done. Like what the fuck are you
talking about? Like that is I believe.
I mean, I look that one guy, what was his name?
If it's like E40 cup, I don't fucking know.

(50:51):
He's a big fat black guy who used to stream, but he got
caught several times trying to talk to like, you know, underage
girls, people. There was a cupcake meme that
went on, I forget why, but he would like send the girl
pictures of his shit and shit, like pictures of the turds.
And he look at this fucking turdof his.
Yeah, obviously he had nobody else to hit on but children, but

(51:15):
still, he had a fucking audience.
Like he would go stream and there'd still be like thousands
of people in his stream. That's fucked.
Even after it was fun, even after, well, the platforms were
like, we're just going to ban them off there.
And I didn't really hear anybodysaying, oh, they're cancelling
him. Well.
He didn't pull Andrew Tate and get everybody to share his his

(51:36):
media. Afterwards, is he still pretty
popular because I don't hear anything about him anymore.
Andrew Tate, Yeah, I have no idea.
No, I'm just saying, like the when I first was introduced to
Andrew Tate, through the absolute fucking tsunami of
content of him coming out, he'd already been kicked off all the
platforms. But like, he had his little army
that he had built of like, yeah.Because they already paid that
motherfucker monthly. Imagine.

(51:58):
Imagine his. Content like Nonstop.
I'm actually trying to talk shitto somebody.
And you, you paid monthly for something called Hustler
University, where a guy tries totell you how to hit on bitches
better. I'm just like, brother, I'm
gonna let you know something, all right?
That's gay. That's gay.
If you someone's going to look at the phone and be like Mike.
Well, I did it. Listen, maybe you are in

(52:20):
recovery right now, but it was gay that you did that.
I mean, what do you do if, like,you just don't know how to talk
to women? Well, I mean, I think, I think
the intention behind it like. It was to be a man, to be
masculine. Yeah.
And honestly, look, I joke. Liberals are the ones who
created that, though, because every goddamn thing was white

(52:41):
people's father. And then, you know the white
people of the. White male was like the biggest
burn that you could have and youare.
There is no way that you're not a piece of shit if you're a CIS
hat white male. Like fucking and the fact that I
even know that that's what they said.
Wait, wait a minute. Why do I got to get called to
different names? Why am I now CIS?
You know what I'm saying? I was just I was a dude and it

(53:02):
was like, listen, I look, I'm the type of person I'm like,
live your life. All right?
If once again there are trans people in in in the realm of me
saying there is someone who you know, was born a guy that now
says they're a girl they like though, you know what I'm
saying? Have their life as.
A woman going to sit there and talk shit at the same time.

(53:24):
I don't want to be called something else now though.
I didn't sign up for that. I'm not going to like, yes, I am
a sis white man. No, I'm just a hat.
Because you're heterosexual, so.Hat, hat.
Hat White. Male.
No, that's, that's gay. I'm going to just be like, hey,
brother, I'm a dude. I'm a white dude from a from
Lexington. I'm a I'm a white man.
That's my problem that I've said, you know, is the problem

(53:45):
with both sides and all, all thecraziness is you got to put
people in their little boxes so then you can judge them as the
little box that you. Right.
And then the last is also like, hey, we don't want to box people
up. Whoa, not all black people are
gangsters, all right? But all white people are the
same. That is and I'm like this look
guys, we're. All rich colonizing like

(54:05):
terrible people and I'm sorry, but like that's that's really
and you. All own slaves, and that's.
Where you I think the point you were getting at is.
Like, that's what created the Andrew Tate's to rise, the
Donald Trump's to rise up because then everybody felt
like, you know, they were being attacked.
And yes, boohoo, I'm sorry, yes,boohoo.
If you're one of those people that felt like you were
attacked, like boohoo, like I, Ido not agree that you were

(54:29):
subjugated, but you do from the left.
Yes, you do make those people. I don't mean anything by those
people, but like, you do, you make this type of white males,
like, feel like they've been pushed aside and then they are
going to feel like they need to do something to, like,
counteract that. And that is where guys like
Andrew Tate come up. Guys like, yeah, Donald Trump or

(54:51):
any of these, like pretend, like, pretend macho guys because
they're not actually. White people will be on here
just like, you know, it's hard being a, a straight white man
and and these I'm like, it's not.
People are just talking about shit about you online.
If you didn't watch any Internetstuff, nobody would give a fuck.
You know what I'm saying? Like most.
Part it does not affect. You, yeah, it does not affect
you at all. But still, like there were
people talking shit and that's what just this whole animosity

(55:13):
was just stupid shit really pushed by the media created and
then everybody's talking shit, creating a stronger, insane
version of the the shit that they were talking about.
And it just got so wacky and honestly fucking corny.
Look, I am of the, I am of the. We've had our run.
It was a good attempt, people had a good attempt, but I think

(55:36):
it's time for the meteor like. We're coming, Yeah.
I think it's getting closer, like the whole us doing
ourselves. Fight it, just fight it.
Fuck out, nuke each other. Maybe the thing that rises from
the ashes, which I still think, look, if we start over, we're
going to be racist again and we're not going to get along.
Here's the thing, people are different.
People are going to think different things are going to
come from different places. And people are.

(55:58):
I think it's just people. They're going to like the things
that they like so much that whenthey encounter something
different, they are not going tolike it.
And we are going to live in thisperpetual cycle of humans just
being Dick bags. Listen, dolphins need to rule
the universe next because all them bitches look alike.
OK. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, you got the weird river dolphins.
But then there's not a lot of them.
They'll die out. Yeah, they'll they'll die out.
Regular dolphins, or would it beorcas?

(56:19):
I don't know. Which one are smarter?
No, I think dolphins. I think they said octopuses was
but octopuses? Definitely are.
They're definitely aliens though.
Yeah, they came from like a meteor.
Yeah, they come from like a meteor.
But I hate when scientists say dumb shit like that.
They'll be like, well, octopuses.
Nothing would buddy, nothing. We we literally either if if we
came from evolution or just the perfect design of perfect

(56:43):
designs to fucking get onto a planet and then be able to do
shit. If you think there is a, they're
going to be a humanoid being with probably at the opposable
thumbs unless they've had more time to evolve out of that you.
See the weird thing is is octopuses are the closest thing
to like they could. They can literally get out on
land and walk to another water hole and then get back in the

(57:03):
water hole they can like. Yeah, but they can then like
mudfish, they're just like, yeah.
Can a mudfish open a jar and like, get its food out of it?
Can it like escape through the whole of as it can go through
something as small as what its beak can go through so
literally? Because it could do all that
weird shit it has, all that weird animal stuff.
Doesn't mean you can fucking program a computer.
Doesn't mean, actually it doesn't mean it can build a

(57:25):
fucking well, maybe. Eventually.
Doesn't mean it can speak. I love how every single alien
movie or whatever, all them aliens, they be speaking
English. They come down here, they're
like, what's up? I'm like, oh fuck, I could talk
to them. Hispanic guy just come and be
like, well, what do we do? Well, I talk to him.

(57:46):
He's not. He's he no mad, no angry.
Have you ever had a talk to somebody that you just did not?
Oh, you. Can't communicate through.
Yeah, I mean, I did at the factory a lot.
Yeah, I just bro, I worked with a bunch of guys from Vietnam.
Not me too. Yeah, from Vietnam.
I was going to be like, not the.War, Moncton, yards or whatever.

(58:08):
Monton Yards and them guys just be like, you know, so far, so
far, like we had our own little shit talking.
See, I always I ain't. Going to talk, I ain't going to
say how I would talk shit to himbecause they look at me up.
It should be doing some crazy shit bro.
We'd be making paper mache ads and stuff.

(58:29):
I used to just get one of the other ones to translate for me
like because there's always one that could.
Be like 2 of them, yeah. And then I would always get one
of those guys to translate with like the African guy from like
fucking Nigeria or Kenya or something like that, like.
Here's the crazy thing. Like.
To each other. I've worked at factories where
it was like most Cambodians. I've worked at factory, you

(58:50):
know, Vietnam, Laos, Hispanics. When you go somewhere where it's
Africans, all them motherfuckersspeak English.
They all do. They just, you know, fucking.
They speak. Well, the crazy thing is, is
like that they've got so many different languages, though,
because like, some of them are speaking French.
Yeah, but. They speak English too, and it's
just like the crazy. I'm like how does this fucking?

(59:10):
How does this work that you justknow 19 different languages?
Yeah, they're they're good in. It they are and all Dallas
Cowboy fans, that's crazy. I don't know what goes on in
Africa because you think they would be like Buffalo Bills fans
because they would think that Buffalo was the champion. 4
Super Bowls in a row, the greatest dynasty ever.
Buffalo went to the Super Bowl 4times and lost each time, but

(59:32):
they still make all the Super Bowl gear and then they'll send
it over to countries that are like, you know, poor and.
So they get off. So they're just like, they're
just like they got a whole bunchof right now, they would have
chief shirts and Chief Chiefs would be the defending champions
because they just lost to the Eagles.
So over in Africa, they would get their shirts.
But yeah, all of them across theboard, man, Dallas Cowboys.

(59:54):
And I'm just like what goes on in Africa, where it's just like
Dallas Cowboys. I saw a funny skit and it ended
up being fake. It had to have been fake but it
was a girlfriend telling her or her.
Either a girlfriend or wife telling her husband or.
Boyfriend that she was looking to buy a VCR and he's like, we
don't need AVCR. We've got all these streaming

(01:00:15):
services. We've got, you know, all the
stuff. And like if we're going to get
anything, we'd get a DVD player because like a DVD is way
better. And she's like, no, but like
what I want to watch isn't goingto be on that.
It's like so old that it wouldn't be on anything like
that. And she eventually gets to the
punchline, which was she wanted to get him some VHS tapes of
when the Cowboys were actually good and then the Super Bowl.

(01:00:39):
Look, I can't. What sucks though is I can't
partake in like the funny cuz Caroline's never won Super Bowl.
No, but like I think it's. I had a lot of hopes for him
this year, man, but I'm startingwe're it's getting close to the
season and like realistic Mike'scoming out and I'm just like,
man, bro, that's gonna be good. Probably not gonna be good.
Like, I mean, I don't know, I I guess I, I had kind of reserved

(01:01:01):
or resigned myself to giving an actual shit about whether they
won or lost. Like I each game, yes, if they
lost, I'd be kind of like let down, But overall I was like, I
still enjoy watching it. Like if I'm if I'm going to
follow it, like I enjoy watchingit whether they win or lose.
Like it's because it's your team, Like and that's how I had
gotten to a roundabout the time that I.

(01:01:21):
Stopped. My favorite part of my favorite
NFL seasons was when kneeling during the national anthem was a
big thing. Because then people be like,
fuck my fucking team. They're going to go out there
and kneel like a bunch of pussies.
I hope they fucking lose and then they start losing them.
But I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
I stand with Colin Kaepernick. Just win guys, please.
I didn't tell that for a loco story.

(01:01:42):
I went to a Panthers game and drank 24 locos before I went in.
Really. Oh, really?
Is not a good. Yeah, it's not a good.
What happened? So we were driving down to the
Panthers game. The girl that I was dating, her
dad had like season passes through like the corporate
thing. And so we get to go down there
quite often and it was before her brother was getting married.

(01:02:05):
And so we all went down there. It was like me and my
girlfriend, her brother, his fiance, her dad, I think her
uncle, like a couple other people.
And like on the way down we decided we'd get some 4 locos.
I think me and my girl got one and then I I don't think anybody
else. We might have gotten a couple
extras but nobody else is going to dream.
So I like start drinking mine real fast because I know that we

(01:02:28):
got to go into the stadium. So I like start pounding it and
you know me like I don't like towaste things.
So my girl opens hers, drinks like 2 sips out of it and.
She's like, so you're just like,fuck off, yeah.
She's like, this is terrible, soshe didn't want to drink it.
So I was like, oh fuck it, I'll drink it.
And so I chug it, like chug it and then like made it into the
stadium. I was pretty good, but then by

(01:02:50):
like half time I was inviting everybody in the circle around
us to the wedding that was goingto be happening and I was like,
hurry, I was just you should cover the wedding.
You're cool, motherfucker. You should.
Cover the wedding. Oh God.
Like, it just turns into a shit show.
And like, at the time, Delome was the the quarterback and so
he, I can't remember what he did, but he fucked up the end of

(01:03:10):
the game and like we lost. And so walking out of the
stadium, I was just like, there's somebody in front of me,
like probably 50 steps ahead. They were wearing the loam
jersey and I was like, fuck, jigged along.
Fuck, fuck that guy. He's just terrible.
And then in that same like statement, I just like kind of
lean over and start throwing up everywhere and just I do not
miss a step. I keep walking, throwing up

(01:03:31):
actively and then as soon as I'mdone, I'm just fucking jigged
along. God damn fucking piece of shit.
Was it a playoff game? No fuck I know dude, I don't
even remember at all. Like I mean I remember but I do
not remember. I was just wondering if it was
the game with the Cardinals because I would also been like
fuck Jake Long. Yeah, I was.
I was very, very inebriated. That that season started off

(01:03:53):
like so spectacularly. We started off playing the
Chargers at home and beat them on the very, very, very last
play of the game and it just started this very magical
season. I think the only teams we lost
to that season were the Buccaneers, the Vikings, the

(01:04:15):
Giants and one other team. Who the fuck did we lose to the
Giants? We should have won that game.
It was a big run fest. But that's back when we had that
was during Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams 1000 thousand
season. But I knew from playing the
Cardinals earlier in the year that this was going to be a
tough game. And then Jake Delone was just

(01:04:38):
like, where's the fucking card? And I could throw it to.
And I was like, fuck, brother, you got to fucking stop.
You got to stop. We had brought moose bags.
And it was just such a good fucking team, man.
This is back when we had like, Chris Gamble, John Beeson, like
it was just a fucking cohesive. Was this like 2011 12 somewhere?
2009. 2009. Yeah, 2010.

(01:05:00):
I don't know if we, I know Jake was not there.
I think he had already left because 2010 was no Yeah, 2010
was Matt Moore because we had benched Jake in 2009 after the
because he comes back with the Eagles the very next season
after he throws all the picks with the Cardinals, then
proceeds to throw pit 3 picks inthe first half against the

(01:05:21):
Philadelphia Eagles and he got benched.
They said they started the wholeevery time a quarterback's doing
bad, like doing bad and they have to bench him, the starting
quarterback, they'll be like something's wrong with his hand
just so they're not they don't have to say, yeah, he fucking
sucked. So we got to pull him out.
But then we got Cam and I want to I just want to go back
because talk about a guy who could take a team, just a shit

(01:05:43):
team and fucking win with them. Just a force.
And then you know, his body's destroyed.
He fucking he he's sitting thereplaying with a bunch of wide
receivers who would not be a second string wide receivers on
other teams. He's got Philly Brown, Ted gun,
junior fucking Devin Funchess. We had Calvin Benjamin.
We that was he had came off 1000yard rookie season, but he had

(01:06:05):
fucking tore his ACL and he tookthat fucking team.
We had a decent defense too. People say we had a good we had
a decent defense. Yeah, and I mean, I just, he
fucking gave his whole body. Oh yeah, cuz he had no
protection though. That was the biggest thing is
like people would just come for him and just fucking mutilate

(01:06:25):
him. So the big thing was is he
didn't do like a three-step dropback.
He did like a five step drop back and fucking Von Miller's
bitch ass fucking figured that out because he's fucking great
fucking Dick. What a what a what an asshole.
So his drop back was just so bigthat Von knew how to take
advantage of it in the Super Bowl.

(01:06:46):
Literally Von Miller won the Denver Broncos, the Super Bowl.
But you got to think about this guy and not only is, you know,
he deals with the sacks, but he also, you know, it's 4th and 15
third and 15, whatever. He goes and gets the first down
because he's like, God, you know, Tegan Junior and Philly
Brown, they he were fast, but they dropped the ball like
nobody fucking else. Devin Funchess, he had decent

(01:07:07):
hands, but he couldn't fucking he couldn't, you know, break
past the fuck. He couldn't get separation.
So then he would be like, fuck it, I'm a run.
And he would take big hits too, a big thing that he would not
fucking do. He wouldn't fucking slide at
all. He'd just do that forward dive
and everybody be like slide Cam,please fucking slide.
And by that point, because he doesn't jump on the if he jumps

(01:07:27):
on the fucking ball, we still lose.
Like we still lose. They went in there with a
phenomenal game plan and that's it.
Like the after the Jericho Katri, like after he caught the
ball and they said it wasn't a caught ball.
I already knew what playing was in place.
I was like, we ain't going to win this game.
Even if we have a good game, we're not going to win this
game. I had already known, but just he

(01:07:51):
didn't jump on the ball. His body fucking hurts, man.
And then the first game of the next season, rematch against the
Broncos just gets fucking, you know, annihilated blind side
hit. I mean, I I guarantee he was the
most fucking roughed quarterbackin his whole tenure as a fucking
football player. Well, not very little.
And to watch the whole fan base just fucking turn on a guy, bro.

(01:08:14):
You put anybody fucking else as the quarterback of the team that
Cam Newton took to the Super Bowl.
They go at best nine and seven. There was only 16 games played
in the end then, or seven and nine.
It was a shit fucking team. Yes, they had a a good defense,
but literally Cam was everythingthat he was our fucking leading
rusher. He was every fucking thing.

(01:08:34):
When you think about MVPS, Cam Newton was one of those like
true MVPS. If you don't have Cam, you don't
have shit. You don't have a mother fucking
thing and watch the whole fan base turn on him.
You put and that's what. Because it was picked it apart
because of his attitude. Like because.
And then he would. Have and then his style and like
the way that he. When he had an attitude, he was

(01:08:55):
a thug. When Tom Brady has an attitude,
it's like, oh, he's really passionate about the game.
So is Cam Kim. Unlike Tom Brady, Kim had does
not have a team built around him.
And people will still like they fucking suck Jerry Richardson's
Dick. Fuck Jerry Richardson with an
iron pole. I don't give a fuck that he's
dead. He sucked.
He sucked as a fucking owner. He was just like, we're not
we're not going to ever fucking invest in any kind of weapon on

(01:09:16):
offense. He was a, you know, defense
first run, really hard type of guy in a fucking league that was
evolving. And I'm just like, look, you
have this fucking guy who can dothings on his own.
If they were to if they were to go in that year, we were so cap
fucked by, you know, Marty Herney, which is crazy that they
fucking brought him back becausehe would pay old players who are
on, you know, on their way out on the decline, millions of

(01:09:38):
dollar contracts. Like he, he here's what you did.
Like we're going to give you money for what you did instead
of what you can do right now. So it was a very tumultuous
time, but you still could have done it.
If you give Cam one, maybe 2 pieces during that fucking 2015
season, they win the fucking. So if you're like, OK, Cam,

(01:09:58):
instead of this being 99% you, we're going to make this 75%
you, 70% you. They win the Super Bowl.
If they had one other piece, every single team that year knew
their game plan was to stop Cam Newton.
They went 15 and one. They went 15 and 115 fucking

(01:10:19):
teams. And then who do we play first?
The Seahawks. So and then the Seahawks and
then the we just blow out the fucking Arizona Cardinals. 17
teams knew 100% I stopped that motherfucker.
That's it. The Philadelphia Eagles, I mean,
you saw what it was. They were like, if we stop
Patrick Mahomes on offense, that's it.

(01:10:41):
That's what we have to do. They did a good job at that.
They flustered him, blew him thefuck out. 17 teams said, hey, we
need to stop Cam Newton if he had anything else anything else
that was a fucking threat. They win the Super Bowl and
because they started the whole thing about Jalen hurts being
better than Cam Newton he's not he Jalen Hurts is on what you

(01:11:01):
would consider a fucking super team great receivers.
Saquon Barkley is his fucking Saquon put Saquon Barkley too.
We'll put him with Cam Newton. They win the Super Bowl like
that is a fucking that is preposterous thing fucking A.J.
Brown. They just have such a fucking
there's so many things you have to worry about and they have a
great defense. But if you put Jalen Hurts on

(01:11:23):
that Carolina Panthers team, they ate and eight you put Cam
Newton on that Eagles team, theyI don't think they lose a game.
And that's not me being a Carolina Panthers fan saying all
this stuff about Cam Newton. It's that yes, I watched every
single game that Cam Newton played in.
There was I was never in instance where I was like, fuck

(01:11:44):
Cam cost is that game. And if he does throw a pick
trying to save the game, I'm like, damn, Cam doesn't save us
that game. That's that's all it was,
because literally. Yeah, it was on. 4th and 21 he's
fucking breaking 19 tackles to get a first down, getting hit 17
times and still fucking going back flipping or front flipping
over defenders to get into the end zone.

(01:12:05):
And then our, our fucking fan pace is just like, I can't stand
that thug. He's so fucking passionate.
Yeah, cuz he's playing with a bunch of fucking shit people.
He has a shit offense around him, a fucking shit offense, a
shit and giving it. Look, I don't even wanna.
I'm in the podcast right now. I'm gonna get a little bit too
upset if you guys want us to answer if you got some advice

(01:12:30):
you need taken care of. Just don't talk about the
Panthers because. Yeah, I, I, I get so fucking, I
get so fucking madman because hedoesn't, he doesn't get his like
right off into the sunset. That that's what fucking sucks
about it, to see someone give somuch to a football organization.
And it's like Walter Payton, except for Walter Payton got the
ring. He didn't get like the Super

(01:12:50):
Bowl touchdown. They gave it to the fridge
because, you know, jokes and lasted shit.
I can go on about that too, but you know, you can submit it at
Michael dylan.com, MIKEADDY lan.com.
If you would like to support us make a skits doing our little
thing, you can go to patreon.com, Mike and Dylan.
And also buy us a coffee. Yep, and then also there is the

(01:13:14):
Reddit. We have MADHD subreddit, you can
go there. We could talk some shit about
some Panthers or whatever you want to talk about.
OK guys, we'll see you next time.
Fucking shit. Later.

All Episodes

Friendship Bracelets, Oil Field Justice & Cam Newton Rants | MADHD EP47 |

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

24/7 News: The Latest

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Friendship Bracelets, Oil Field Justice & Cam Newton Rants | MADHD EP47 |