Happy Gilmore 2 is TRASH & Pit Bulls Love Toddlers | MADHD EP42 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Bear never bow down Mike and Dylan hate drama, but the Bow
Wow. Oh, we're rolling, we're
rolling. Oh my goodness, guys.
Welcome back to another episode of Mike and Dylan hate hate
drama where sometimes we give advice, sometimes we talk about
what's happening in the world that people do tend to get
angrier when I touch on religionor pop.

(00:22):
They're just like, just be funnyat all times, fat boy, and never
make us think that we we don't listen to you to think like
also. My favorite thing is those like,
at what point do you lose the ability?
Because like most of those people, if you were to go to
their Facebook profile, it's nothing but fucking politics.
But then you no, no, no, shut the fuck up.

(00:42):
You don't get to talk about politics.
You're just the funny guy. Don't, don't, don't have any
opinions. My favorite part is like when
I'm just like, you know, you know, throughout every religion
there's a similarity and it's like God created us and his
image. And then I'll be like, so you
know, I have the ability to unconditionally love.
I'm going to believe that my father who art in heaven has the

(01:04):
ability to unconditionally love.And then godly people will be
like, Hey, how about you not talk about God and you just you
don't know anything about it. And I was like, what?
But it's a godly person saying, Hey, you shut the fuck up.
Don't Gee, don't bring that guy up.
OK, God, Look, there's a time and a place to I already got to
listen for an hour and a half onSunday.
But look, if I was a God all right, and I create this, you

(01:29):
know, heaven and universe and everything like that, I am a
father and no point would ever make my kids like have to sit
somewhere. Imagine making your kids sit
somewhere for an hour and a halfon Sunday.
Well, I just talked about me andmy life stories and stuff like
that and not. Even you talk about you, it's
it's having somebody else in your place talk about you and
how great you are the whole time, right?

(01:50):
Kids, listen up. This guy knows what he's talking
about. He's, he's talking.
About me. I remember when I used to like
sit in church, which is where you meet like the nastiest
people, the the people who are like, you know, you know, I love
God. I don't go to church.
Those are the nicest fucking people.
They are they. I think it's once you like get
around each other and it starts the holier than thou contest, I

(02:11):
think that's where it just kind of gets like a little bit.
I think it depends. I think that's one of the things
like I've met some really great people.
Like I have been to church maybea dozen times in my life.
Like definitely wasn't raised that way.
But the one thing that I miss asbeing not religious is like the
community. Like there is a lot of lot to be
said about like the gathering and communing together and like

(02:32):
being like, yes, there are probably shitty, shitty, shitty
people in that, but there's alsosome really good people that
people. On the Bible Belt especially
will understand that when you are a kid, you have no choice.
You going to church like whetherit is with your parents or with
like friends parents, you're going to church.
And I would be sitting in there just we would go through the

(02:54):
little Sunday school, which Sunday school was always like
weird. It was like, you know, we're not
really gonna talk so much about God as much as we're gonna like,
color pictures and of like, you know, Daniel sitting in a lions
den or something like that. And then after that, we're all
gonna go gather around in the Chapel so the preacher can scare
the living shit out of you guys with the love of the Lord.

(03:15):
Yeah. And you better if you were
sitting there right now and you,you look into your body and you
can say, Hey, I am not doing thethings that I need to do.
You better get right with God oryou're going to be burning in
the lake of fire for all of eternity while I'm singing with
the Lord. And then you're just like
sitting there half scared, half bored out of your mind.

(03:37):
Because the thing about look, I give the mega mega church is a
lot of shit. OK, if that's if if there's any
demons and devils, they're they're definitely, you know,
dancing along in the mega churches.
They make it exciting. Look that that preachers always
say he's always a disproportionately angry about

(03:59):
something. And it doesn't matter what like
right now, the biggest like happening with like a celebrity
is still the Joey Swell thing and.
I saw him, he came back like he's back at.
It no. Well, I look, here's The thing
is in one fell swoop, he pissed off everybody.
He he calls, he calls black people colored, which he's like,

(04:20):
I was told it was an outdated term.
I was like, brother, I knew thatin like first grade.
And if I did it, I'd just be like, man, you know, I was
trying to say people go, yeah, well, I don't know what to call
people. Like it's just easy to say
honestly, if he would have just did all that, ignored everybody
and continually posted like he posted, he would be infinitely

(04:41):
more popular. But then what he does is you
have the whole side that's like,we don't like people getting
cancelled. You should be able to, you know,
say what you want, freedom of speech, still have your
platform, yadda, yadda, yadda. He then gets on there and
apologizes and then the freedom of speech, people's like, oh, we
don't want you to apologize. We want you know nobody to have
that freedom. You didn't do anything wrong,
you just just. So so then he's he's at 1:00 and

(05:03):
1:00 fell swoop. He pissed off both sides, which
if I am Joey Swoll's fucking Pennsylvania guy, PR guy, I'm
just gonna be like, all right, so you said colored athletes.
What we are now gonna do is you're gonna do a whole bunch of
videos with black athletes like that's that's it.

(05:25):
Yeah. No, no context as to what is the
happening. And you know what I'm saying?
Just so you give one side kind of like that validation, be
like, yeah, see, what he said isn't racist.
He's hanging out with black athletes right now.
Yeah. What are you guys doing?
What are you? Because honestly, you are like
the side that's just like, oh, look, what he said is the side
that says that doesn't really doanything for the community.

(05:45):
I mean, neither side does anything for community.
Nobody fucking cares about community anymore.
But they're not doing that. It's to really look good.
And then, you know, somebody bigenough, we'll talk shit about
Joey. Swell.
They'll absorb the people who are following Joey.
And then, you know, this guy's going to be the new guy that
does everything for that side. And then he's going to fucking
say a micro. He's going to call a Asian

(06:06):
person a Mexican. So and then when you say that
though, like all I can imagine is my daughter plays this game,
it's called like holes or whatever, and you just go around
and like eat smaller holes to become a bigger hole and like
you get to eat like buildings and all that.
And I just when you said like, you know, this influencer ends
up beating this person and like I just.
I miss the I miss the days my kids played those games because

(06:26):
those games were like real fun and they're so easy.
And I'll be like, bro, I'm just so cracked at it.
And my daughter would sit there in awe and just be like, bro,
how are you this good? And I'll be like, bitch, I play
Dark Soul games and Elden Ring like playing that because the
funniest shit, I was playing Elden Ring and I'm doing like
probably my 60th playthrough andI'm doing a heavy.

(06:50):
I'm doing a because the first time I did a playthrough was on
stream. I did a heavy weapon, a colossal
weapon naked run, which is very,very hard.
And for those listening, I did beat Melania.
So absolutely give me the praisethat I deserve.
I am a God amongst men, but it was rough.
So this one, I was doing a colossal weapon, but I could

(07:12):
have armor because I was just like the DLC came out.
I didn't really have money for the DLC when it came out.
And then I just kind of like didn't play.
And I was like, oh, I'm gonna dolike a run like I did back in
the day to kind of like get intothe DLC even though I'm not
streaming anymore. I was just like, this will be,
you know, a fun thing to do, which I was just like Mike, we

(07:33):
got to like, I don't know, get into a bleed build or something
like that. This is fucking rough, but I'm
playing it and my daughter sits next to me and she's watching
and she's like, man, I want to play this.
I immediately just and I showed her how to do everything.
I was like, look, this is how you, you know, roll and stuff
like that. And she was like you said, I
remember you used to say a lot of stuff about Perry and I was

(07:53):
like, listen, girl, I have like thousands of hours in this game.
I still don't know how to do that.
So you could try that if you want to.
I'm showing her like because youhave to time it exactly when
like the weapon goes to hit you to Perry, the people who that
who could do that is even gaudier amongst men.
But she's like playing it and she's like, why is it like this?
And I was like, I don't know, Asian people made it that way.

(08:15):
And it's like the fucking best video game ever.
Like it rewards you for trying hard.
That's why I tried to explain toher and she was like, Dad, this
is gay. Like it's just hard for no
reason. You are just going through
something you don't have to go through.
No, she's playing that. And then I start like I open up
my phone and I start playing like a Pokémon emulator on my
fucking game or on my on my phone and I'm like this look,

(08:37):
see, I'm actually doing something easy.
Like I have my easy games that Ilike relax with.
And then I have my hard games where I'm just like, let's be
mad for three hours just at the you'll be fighting a boss and
say like you have an open field boss, which is different than
like you're going into an arena.So arena is kind of like a

(09:00):
closed off. You're fighting a boss there.
You go through like this yellow smoky looking gate and nothing
can really intervene. But if say, you're fighting like
a open field boss, like a fucking Sentinel or a archery
guardian, then like if you back up too far, you'll just start
getting attacked by other people, like other fucking
enemies and shit like that. Yeah.
And I'll just be like, I soundedlike this fucking guy just

(09:22):
jumping in and shit like that, which is why my youngest son,
he'll just walk around. He'll be like Jesus Christ,
fuck, fuck Jesus Christ while he's playing.
Yeah, because that. No, no.
You're talking about he's. The youngest one, Yeah.
Because he, he just picks up on phrases that he hears.
And what's so funny is like, if he ever goes to school and
someone's like, you know, he's saying these words a lot.

(09:43):
We hope that everything's OK around the household.
My wife's just feeling, oh, that's when my husband plays
football or his Eldon Ring because my wife, she has that
real country voice. And she's like, it's not like
any kind of abuse that he did headbutt her, by the way.
Your wife or? Yeah, so he's throwing a temper
tantrum and he like he'll throw his head back, which is at this
point four years into it. Lady, you got to be on your

(10:05):
toes. You have to know that this is
gonna happen when you're like, he head butted me in the mouth
and you're like trying to get sympathy from me.
I'm just like a like you're playing with fire.
Why'd you? Even get in, you're going to get
something. Why'd you put them?
Right, Why'd you get that area in the danger zone?
But she had a big bruise from here and every time she went to
the grocery store I was like, I bet people are looking at her

(10:26):
like she'll listen next time shewill.
So whatever she didn't have ready, she will have ready next
time. So fucking I look, I have to
make, I have to make the jokes and then what the fuck are?
We talking about, see my, we were playing PlayStation
yesterday. It was me and my 4 year old and
we were playing Tony Hawk. And she only likes it when

(10:48):
there's no time on. She's like, let me just play
where I can just skate around and I put all the cheats on so
she can do tricks and things like that.
And so I took over playing for alittle bit and I was trying to
like actually go through the career and like do all the
things. And my wife sits down never
playing it before. And she's like, this seems like
kind of like a pointless game. Like there's no like challenge

(11:09):
to it. And I was like, well, there's
like the list of like 10 things that you got to do per thing.
You got to find all the things and you know, do the tricks
where you got to do the tricks you got to do, you know, the
certain amount of tricks for thetotal thing, combos, blah, blah,
blah. You got to do all this stuff.
And she's like, oh, not interested at all.
But then the four year old I waslike trying to accomplish like
one of the things. And so I had to play through

(11:32):
like four or five times, but. She's looking at you like you're
a failure because she's like, this game's the easiest game of
all. I get on here, I play, I get a
lot of points. It's so easy.
It's like, why are you falling? Like this Doesn't make any
sense. But yeah, so I'm trying to do it
and I'm swearing. I'm like fuck shit.
And she's like, Dad, I think maybe we should put on a
different video game because youseem to be getting frustrated.

(11:53):
And so rather than you get frustrated.
And I was like, no, honey, this is The thing is this is what
makes it fun is that I can't getit the first time.
It's like a challenge. And when I overcome it, then I
get the dopamine of being like, yeah, I did it.
If I got it the first time everytime, this would be a very
boring. It's like you were fishing
though, because I was like real into fishing because I could not
catch a fish. And then I catch that humongous

(12:14):
bass and everybody's like, brother, it's all downhill from
there. And I'm just like now I don't
even want to fish anymore. Yeah, now I don't want to even
just don't even want to fish. And plus the next time I went
fishing, I caught 2 fish. Did you?
Yeah, they went as big. So I was like, I'm not going to
like take pictures of it. And it's so fun.
One was a bluegill and then one was a catfish, which I felt like

(12:37):
a failure because I'm like, not fishing for those and fishing
for bass, yeah. You don't really get to pick
which fish you catch. Like I mean, yes.
Well, you get fish for a bait like imagine I catch this bass
all right, and I'm like my thirdeye is open eye and one with
nature. I am a pro bass fisherman.
So I, I get the old city Lake and I'm just like, all right,

(12:58):
now I see the way the currents going and like, you're like
third eye on that shit. And you're like, this is where
they are. And then you you're catch fish
like, well, this ain't a, this ain't a bass, all right, put
that back. And then you catch a fucking
cat. And the catfish was like a
little big, though. The bluegill was bigger than
that. Really.
Yeah. And I'm just like looking around
at nobody else catching anythingtoo, Because so when I do

(13:21):
something, I do a lot of research, like every time I'm
not catching a fish, I am not like going out in community and
being like, hey, This is why I'mnot catch.
I'll go on to once again, YouTube is the greatest because
you have professionals there that are like, hey, this is what
you're doing wrong. As long as they're not well,
This is why you're not catching fish because you don't have the
new lure master 5000 where it spins and then it fucking

(13:43):
fingers the fish in the butt hole and they really fucking
like and you'll catch any fish you want.
No, it's like people like doing like technique and stuff like
that and like where what you should be looking out for.
I looked at a lot of those videos and I'm out there fishing
and I'm like nobody else is likegoing by what the people on the
videos are and I'm out there catching like the the 2 fish and

(14:06):
there's a guy so I don't know, also likes a big circle.
All right, I'm over here where the dam is and I'm on the other
side of the dam for the people who watch the video.
I'm actually like doing the where everything is.
So I'm over here on the dam sideand there's a guy over here with
his kids and he's just like fishing where like people have

(14:27):
their feet in the water and stuff like that.
Which technically like how far he's casted now, he's still
wouldn't be like deep, deep, butalso there's no structure.
And I was like, well, they're not going to be hanging out, you
know, towards the shallow end with no structure.
And also it's really hot out. So they're going to be hanging
out during like towards the deeper, yeah, the deeper water.
But I and fish for bass and I'm like, I don't think they're

(14:50):
gonna be out in the deeper part of the water 'cause there's the
really big current from the dam.So I go over to the other side
to where there's, it's all shaded from the trees all day
and you got shit falling in the water from trees.
So I'm like, this is where the fish are hanging out and I'm
catching these fish the whole time thinking I'm a failure.
And if the guy across there knewthat I was thinking that I was a
failure, he probably wouldn't fish anymore.

(15:12):
Because every time like I catch,they like look, daddy, that guy
caught a fish. Look at that guy over there.
He's getting the fish. The fish are over there dad and
the dad the whole time, just like it's not about the it's
about just being out here and relaxing.
Oh, I know it's about catching these goddamn fish, but if you
ain't really nothing, you're a fair.
I'm just fucking I wasn't like the czar fishing, but still I

(15:32):
was over there catching things that were not bass.
What's so funny is my father-in-law, he like fished
all those spots. He really like fishing before,
you know, he died twice. By the way, guys, he's back
home. Well, mechanically now he's back
in the hospital because he got like E coli and shit like that.
And we got a staph infection from the surgery.
And surgery was real hard. When you have a big surgery.

(15:53):
They fucking put that thing in his leg and it took all the
blood away so much that his leg was white.
All the meat in his leg was white.
And they thought they were goingto have to amputate it.
But he was like, yeah. And he was like, you can give up
on that bass dream because the, all the years that I've been
there, I've never caught a bass.So I catch that bass and I'm
just like the big one. Well, yeah.
And I was like, well, sometimes you just got to get good.

(16:16):
You just got that's I hate beingme though, because I can't
fucking do anything unless I'm being competitive.
Like I can't, I can't enjoy something unless I'm like, like,
I can't just do something. I can't sit down and play a
casual game with friends. I can't sit down and do fucking
casually. I'm like, I got to be the best.
Like no one ever was to catch them is my real test.

(16:37):
I swear to God. Like if you understood Pokémon,
you'd understand I was singing in the intro.
But that's what I want to do. Like I'm sitting there talking
about how you know, I'm playing Pokémon on my phone and that
it's real relaxing. When in all actuality I am at
the battlefront here, which is like a post game thing.
And it's, it simulates like competitive battling where you

(16:58):
got to focus on EVs and Ivs, which is like a hidden, a hidden
stat in Pokémon. People that enjoy Pokémon that
don't, that played the games might know what I'm talking
about. That's how hidden this shit is.
Someone can do a whole playthrough of Pokémon and not
know what an EV or an IV is. But I'm doing that to like

(17:18):
fucking battle against these guys.
And then I'd like get my ass full because the AI for the
Pokémon games, like we'll get extraordinary lucky.
It's called hacks, but they'll get extraordinarily lucky where
you want won't. So you have to build like this,
you know, super consistent weirdthing and like keep working on
things and it's a really tough challenge and that's what I'm
doing in Pokémon. I can't ever just like it and

(17:38):
just fucking enjoy it. I can't just be out there
fucking playing with my squirrels.
OK, I can't do that. I have to be like, all right,
well, you know, I have a still psychic.
It's going to be weak to, you know, a dark type of attack,
which I don't know if this is when still resist the dark.
Yeah, I mean, I'm doing a playthrough of Gen. 4, so still

(18:01):
resist dark. So what she'd be what the fuck
would a steel psychic fire deep?Oh yeah, I'm getting too deep.
I'm sorry. Real deep.
Yep. See, because I start thinking
about it. Well, there's like and what I
could build. I think this is one of the
biggest things with any of thesegames or anything like that. 90%
of it is the jargon, like what means what.
And like most games aren't supercomplicated except for how much

(18:23):
terminology and like what the back story is for things.
Like if you understand a lot of that, it's not that hard.
And probably going from like oneof your card games to another
isn't as hard as like learning the first one.
Like it's like learning a foreign language.
Like learning a second language sucks.
Absolutely. But then throwing that third one
in is slightly less sucky. So, you know, if you know how to

(18:45):
play Magic the Gathering, a jumpto Pokémon is probably pretty
easier. Or, you know, going from Pokémon
to, you know, Yu-gi-oh. Probably none of those games
share any commonality. But it's still a concept, like
it's still like there's terminology.
They can't be that. Fun.
You don't even understand. They can't be that.
Different dude like it's a card game.
So besides having a deck? OK, You're telling me you're

(19:08):
saying they can't be that different?
OK besides having a deck like having cardboard, magic the
gathering and yugioh shared no commonality.
A0 like 1 is like a resource oriented game.
You play lands to cast and the other one is like wombo combo.
I'm gonna play out my whole hound.
I'm a build a board where you can't break it.
Like the cards can do things. That's another commonality.

(19:30):
But after that, they really. Do like yes it.
Like you, you, you could play Magic the Gathering your whole
life. That's like saying and then try
to touch Yu-gi-oh and you'd be like, I don't understand a thing
that's going on in this game. But that's like saying that like
playing fucking poker versus playing blackjack is totally
different. Like there no, no, no, that
would be like in Magic the Gathering playing standard

(19:51):
versus playing commander within the realm of Magic.
Like the universe of Magic the Gathering.
Once you like branch out, it would be like playing poker
versus playing Uno. Like yes, you have you're
playing cards, but the cards do vastly different things.
Yes, but if you understand a card game, you're going to be
better suited to know the next card game.
Like yes, playing Pokémon is better preparing you than coming

(20:12):
in from nowhere. It just is like having some
understanding of one of these fucking cards.
Pokémon. I would say yes because like it
is, it's also resource based. But if you played Magic the
Gathering and then tried to playYu-gi-oh, it does not matter how
much you know about Magic the Gathering, the card game and
what they do, it translates zeroto Yu.
GI Oh, I'm not saying that it like makes you a good player.
I'm saying you at least understand the basis of like

(20:33):
somebody could explain the rulesto you a lot faster than Joe
Schmo that's never played it before in their life.
You couldn't, because when I tell you how vastly different,
it's apples to oranges night andday.
How different Magic the Gathering is to Yu-gi-oh.
Then why is it that so many people that play one of these
games plays the other games? What do you mean?
There's got to be some sort of like thread in the middle.

(20:54):
Of it, I think it's just like card games.
OK, then there's there's some thread to it that makes it so
that you can jump from one to the next and like be at least
understand. That's why they play both of
them, because of how bad. Like anybody who plays these
games will understand what I'm saying.
Yeah, and, and like, if you're in thick in the sauce, all I'm
saying is you take Joe Schmo that's never played a fucking
card game. And then somebody that's played
one of the two of them, the person person that's played one

(21:17):
of those games probably is goingto pick it up quicker than Joe
Schmo that's never played a fucking card game in their life.
So there has to be some sort of basis of terminology and
understanding of how the game works, how a card game works,
like playing with the little fucking stories and all this
other stuff. The person playing any of those
games, Pokémon, Yu-gi-oh. Magic Gathering something.
Like that I would say give you better understand you would have

(21:39):
a slight a slight advantage justbecause you understood things
like resource management and stuff like that, which is not
necessarily a card game thing. It's a overall strategy and you
know, video games and everythinglike that, like it's.
But like if if you took somebodyplaying Magic the Gathering and
then threw them on to play a fucking video game where you

(22:00):
have to understand all the controls and the moves and all
that stuff, like it's not going to.
That would be the same as learning Yu-gi-oh, yes.
That would be the same as learning Yu GI.
Yeah. I don't get what we just said.
Then I don't get what you just agreed with.
Because you said it wouldn't translate that well then playing
video games, but it would translate almost exactly to a
tee. Like you'd have.

(22:20):
You'd still have some things in that game.
You'd have life. Yeah, I'm saying if you had, I'm
not saying. If you played Magic the
Gathering card game and then tried to play it on a fucking
Imagine console, I'm saying. Imagine, imagine I'm sitting
here talking about cameras, bro.I don't know a goddamn thing
about cameras and videos and youlike know all this stuff and I'm
saying something so like egregiously wrong and.

(22:40):
No, no. But see, this would be like if
you took photos on your camera or on your phone, and then you
actually do that, and then I tryto teach you how to use a
professional camera. You would have at least an
understanding. Do you know what base 10 is?
It's a fucking like Uno type game isn't it?
OK, so if you play Texas Holdem the whole time and then I taught

(23:03):
you how to play Face 10, do you think you're gonna be?
I mean, besides, like, no one, if you've never played cards at
all at all, ever, never played any sort of numbered card game.
But you're like I'm saying, lighter than a person, slightly,
right? Yes, slightly.
And that's the point. That's the translation over to
Yu-gi-oh. Is this very minimal, very
slight because of how vastly different they are?
Where Pokémon? Like if someone's coming in, not

(23:26):
Pokémon to Magic the other, because Magic's probably the
hardest, like the hardest resource base card game to
learn. Where Yu-gi-oh is the hardest
card game to learn. It is just the hardest they
have. It's just.
Stupid easy, like there's I thought Yu-gi-oh you were like
it's like 2 turns and then done and.
That does not mean that it's easy.
There's a lot of like interactions and really boring
was when you. Yeah, yeah.

(23:46):
Because. OK, so a lot of it is it's very
RNG based where magic the word. So that people know, because I
don't know what RNG means. Random, numerical generated,
whatever. And this is this is what my this
is what my topic began with was the the terminology.
When you start saying RNG, nobody has the basis.

(24:07):
But that's not a card, that's not a card game thing.
That's a fucking that's a thing in that's just a it's.
Not a thing in life. RNG is just.
It's in a lot of things though. It's in yeah, certain style.
RNG is lost. I don't know what RNG stands
for. OK.
But like that's The thing is theterminology.
That's exactly my point is if you don't understand a lot of
this terminology, you were just speaking in a third language

(24:29):
that a lot of people don't understand.
And so yes, for you that makes sense and like.
Random number generator. All right, so that's but but
what it like it's not actually that's what I'm.
Getting at though is is like your ability to know all these
little acronyms and all these little things.
If you know it from one game, you will then be able to
understand what somebody is talking about in another
resource management. RNG and stuff like that is not a

(24:51):
card game, it's exclusive thing.Yes, it's a gaming thing.
But it's not a card game exclusive thing.
It is predominantly I've never heard of that and I play video
games and stuff like that. I don't play like Eldon Ring and
like certain games along those lines, so a lot of that stuff
doesn't translate. It's not like you're playing
against somebody. Yeah.
And so that's what my point is, is a lot of it comes down to the

(25:15):
terminology, the understanding of how the concept works.
It might not be apples to oranges, like apples to apples
type. If you know how to play this
game, you know how to play this game.
That's my point is the terminology and the
understanding of what you're talking about is 90% of it
before you even get to the actual rules of the game.
Because you're talking in all these terms, you're like, well,

(25:36):
and you do the IV and then the EV and then all the stuff if you
don't actually ever breakdown what that stuff is.
If I told you, if I told you, OK, if you have a deck of cards
and I say, all right, so this phase is the draw phase, what do
you assume you would do during that phase?
You draw a fucking card. OK, which you would understand
because you played a card game before like I've played poker,

(25:57):
so. I know any draw, I think anybody
would understand draw phase because you draw a card.
Like if you played a card game before, if you've never played a
card game. I think.
I think like with just like the poker and like Texas Hold'em and
stuff like that, I think, you know, people know what?
Drawing if I were to talk to my 13 year old who does not play
card games, I probably would have to explain.
And that's once again back to mypoint of the understanding of

(26:20):
certain terminology, certain things like to you it's natural
because you've played this literally since you were a
teenager, right? So you've got more time playing
this video or this card games than you have.
But I just time to ask you what someone who doesn't play card
games. I do play card games, just not
RPG or whatever the fuck terminology you put put on
these. Cards, yeah.

(26:40):
But OK, so, so like once again, I don't think the like the what
I'm saying is the rollover of information that you get from
Magic the gathering would not roll over enough to where you
would have that advantage. Like if you just knew the
fundamentals of how to play Magic, not that you're like good
at it or anything like that. The fundamentals of like that

(27:03):
rolls over into Yu-gi-oh would not give you an advantage over
somebody who has common sense. Like if I told you you had life
points, OK, it would be common sense that you don't want those
to run out, right? That you don't want to hit zero
life points, right. So the common sense aspect of

(27:23):
the differences between or the the similarities between, you
know, having life in a card game, drawing a card during a
card game, that stuff. I don't think it would even if
you played card games would giveyou the competitive because
that's just like common sense stuff.
When I try to explain how vastlyjust crazily different these two
card. Games and that's fine.
I'm saying the terminology, a lot of the things you break it

(27:45):
down into acronyms all the time.And so that's where you lose me
like I. Think, I think if you were, if
you were learning. And this.
If you were learning, like if you went from magic and then you
learned Yu-gi-oh from somebody who played magic, maybe because
they could like kind of compare stuff.
But it is like a whole, it is a whole genre on YouTube to like

(28:09):
read cards to like Yu-gi-oh players reading cards to Magic
players, Magic players reading cards to Yu-gi-oh players to
determine if that card is good or not.
And they are shocked and awed. That's why it's such a big thing
because these like, it's so vastly different.
They're like, what the fuck? Like they read this big card and
it's like, no, because our card game is so much vastly
different. This card fucking sucks.
Like in Yu-gi-oh. In Yu-gi-oh you could have a

(28:31):
card that says you start with 8000 life points.
You could have a card that says pay 7999 life points for the
rest of the game. You cannot draw a card.
If you do not win on this turn, you lose the game.
Draw 2 cards and that card wouldget banned like you could not
like competitively. Ends the game pretty much.

(28:52):
No no no no no no. You lose the game if you don't
win this turn. That's what I'm saying.
You pay all your life points butone life point and then you draw
2 cards. OK, in Magic the gathering you
can have, you know, tap three, you know, discard 7 cards, draw
7 cards. In Yu-gi-oh, there's a card band
that says draw 3 cards, discard 2 cards.

(29:13):
Like it's just, it's so vastly different and how they're
played, how you get resources because in in Magic the
gathering, it's a resource basedgame.
In Yu-gi-oh, you don't need resources anything in your hand.
You can just kind of play down and do things with every
Summoner mechanic is different every, there's no every the tax
steps different. All this stuff is it's like

(29:33):
completely different to I wonderhow people who do not play card
games at all are listening to this.
Well, that's what I'm getting atthough.
Is like I. Think you should play it is if
it is fun, you should try it. Outlook.
It is a little bit nerdy, but I.Think my whole point though is
like there's so much learning toit and if you know one of them
you are better suited to then pick up the other one just

(29:54):
because. Like there is so much nerdiness
around the fucking game that like if I were to teach you how
to play fucking Tony Hawk Pro Skater and know how to do all
the combos and all that stuff init, it would translate
substantially easier to another fucking extreme sport.
Whether it was biking, snowboarding, something like
that. Even though they're completely

(30:14):
different, you're doing different things.
You're not doing grabs. You're not doing.
I kind of see, look, listen, when you said that I, I get like
the maybe because like you're, you know, how to, you know,
control your analog sticks and stuff like that and.
Better than if you were to switch to Zelda.
Or yeah, but. That's a totally.
Different. It's just how crazily different
they are. Yeah, they.
Can be a completely different game.

(30:36):
All I'm getting at is there's a lot.
This is my thing with cameras. That was your example.
If you know the terminology of acamera, it can be a totally
different operating system and you will find your way.
You'll you won't be as good as somebody that's native to.
That don't use my thing to turn it around to prove your point.
Don't do that. All I'm getting at is the
terminology is the vast majorityof like, that's why I don't

(30:57):
understand these card games is because like you especially, you
like to truncate and shorten every little thing.
You're, you're like a Gen. Z guy, like telling people like
bet no cap, blah, blah, blah. Like you use all the terminology
of the card games and then you're just like, you don't
understand what I'm talking about.
But no, it's it's a whole. Well, how about?
How about truncating? If I'm shortening, that's a.

(31:18):
Truncating is shorting. No, truncating is elongating
something, Is it? Yeah, blowing it out of
proportion. I thought it was.
Look, I just learned. I just learned to something.
Well, I'm gonna have to look. Don't ever say.
And then also, if there's peopleon here, if that's like a common
thing, don't ever say you don't listen to Mike and Dylan hate
drama and learn something. Oh, yeah, they're gonna.
They're like, yeah, we gotta listen to mom and dad argue
about a card game. For 10 minutes, they like when

(31:40):
mom and dad argue. They do, they enjoy it.
And then they get on one side orthe other and tell the other
person why they're. Usually my side because they,
you know, watch the work videos for years so they I don't.
Know there's a good good amount of team Dylan on there, but
it's. I think the Mike Elite, that's
what we need to do. We need to do like a Team Edward
team. Yeah.
Jacob shirt. Yeah, you're going to sell out

(32:02):
more. I want to be the pedophile
werewolf guy. Is that what?
No, he wasn't a pedophile. He was the he.
Like he was attracted to Bella because of the kid she was going
to have in the future. And then like I I understand
he's like the kids protector butit come out it came off like
real. I'm a diddle this kid.
I can't wait for it to get olderso I can bang it well.
He already liked Bella before. No, but he liked Bella because

(32:24):
of the kid she was going to have.
Listen bro, don't tell me about this shit.
I've had to watch it multiple times.
I thought it was like movie 2 orsomething when he she was
getting pregnant that he was like about the kid.
No, movie 2 is where Jacob like he's a werewolf. 3 is so there's

(32:44):
Twilight, new moon, something dawn, Breaking Dawn.
I think that's the last ones, right?
That was two of them. It was.
Broken. Yeah, that was Breaking Eclipse.
Eclipse was the third one where they had like the they were
making the new little vampires. And then Breaking Dawn Part 1 is
where she gets pregnant and theyall go to this house to fight

(33:04):
the Volturi who are kind of look, I know a lot about listen,
my girl is just like, I love this.
If you this is what people don'tunderstand.
Like if your girl is really intosomething and you're like, this
is the dumbest shit I have ever fucking laid eyes on.
If you're sitting there watchingit where they're like, Oh my
God, like listen, the the twistsand turns, which there is none
in twilight, not a single one. Everything's super fucking

(33:26):
telegraphed. Everything is so telegraphed.
But if you're like, wow, that's a that's a crazy thing that just
happened there. If you sit there and you watch 2
Twilight episodes while she's like snuggling on you, you are
getting fucked. Like the she is going to to ride
that thing like it's the first time y'all met and I don't
understand because guys will be just be like my wife never wants
to do anything. I'm like, well, what do you do
with her that makes her feel like a person you know, Cuz as

(33:47):
soon, as soon as you're supposed.
To make them feel like yeah. It's crazy.
It's a crazy thought. I would, I would have never
thought it. But you know, anytime another
wait, I wanna make it more offensive.
Anytime I want pussy. I make her feel like a human and
then she wants to sleep with me.You gotta make it bad.
No, I miss out on that cuz like yeah I will not sit and watch
Twilight. It's just something else to do,

(34:08):
like. The easiest way?
Well, I think. My wife went through when we
first started dating and everything she went through on
the new Netflix account that shewas attached to or whichever one
of them had it at the time, but Vampire Diaries started from
fucking episode 1 all the way through.
She like she actually wanted to name one of our kids after one

(34:29):
of the characters on there. I was like, no, which one?
Alaric. If it was a boy, she wanted to
name it Alaric. I was like fuck no, no.
Alaric is like the, I think he was a teacher.
And then Vampire's Diaries, theythey kind of, I watched that
with her too. You know my buddy that was in
that one? Was he?
Yeah, that was one of the one. What did he did?
What did he play as? He got decapitated and I can't.

(34:51):
Remember nice. A lot of people did.
But then he got paid also because they showed his
decapitated face so that that counted as him being in.
Being on camera, yeah, that's dope.
Yeah. See, I just want something like
that. But yeah, he was like a the
teacher character. He's a real.
Wasn't he like one of the dads or no no.
No, no, he's not one of the dads.

(35:11):
He was a he. He's like a dad figure on there,
but he was, he was essentially one of those where everybody's
like, you don't know if they're good or evil, yadda, yadda,
yadda. He's like one of the standard.
I'm a good guy instead of like the standard, I'm a bad guy or
everybody's. So I just.
Couldn't imagine my kid getting picked on because with a name
like Alaric, you're getting picked on at school.

(35:31):
You are. So what's so funny though, is
now is that, you know, The Vampire Diaries was like a thing
where I'd walk in the room and I'd sit down by this dumb shit.
I'd be playing my Pokémon and then I'd look up and I'd be
looking at the screen and I'm like, damn, he really did watch
it. I think she's falling in love
with the brother. And then and you know, you just
like start and you're like, well, let me let me watch a

(35:52):
couple of the beginning episodesso I know what I'm talking
about. You know, I don't want to sit
here and say things that are just dumb and act like I know
about card games. You know, let me let me sit here
and watch this. And then I was just like, you
know what, Fuck it, this is, this is all right towards the
end. And that's one thing with a lot
of the show she showed me is that it gets repetitive.

(36:14):
Just very, very like True Blood.We watched that too.
True Blow was really, really good for like 3 seasons.
And then it's just like, all right, we're going to introduce
this. We're going to have our Sookie
and Bill get fucking mad at eachother and something's going to
happen. They're going to come together,
they're going to, you know, beatthe bad person or whatever.

(36:34):
And it just like kept repeating and repeat like just the same
cycle. Of so when they say that like,
because they, this is one thing they talk about with like porn
and guys is like, you know, theykeep looking for like edgier and
edgier and like crazier porn to watch.
Like, is that where women have gotten to like they started with
like Twilight and fucking True Blood and all that stuff, and
then it got to like 50 Shades ofGrey and then from 50 Shades of

(36:56):
Grey. It's not, you know, I think
those are different. It's like Dragons.
Those are different demographics.
Like when you're in 50 Shades ofGrey, like if your girl has a 50
Shades of Grey love. I'm just like, I think, I think
they're a romanticizer. Where people who like True Blood
and Twilight and stuff like that, they like fantasy stuff.

(37:19):
It's just like liking Star Wars and shit like that.
It's exactly like liking that people love a fantasy world
where there's fucking Dragons and powers and shit like that.
I think where it's different is,is a guy's like, you know, I
want to see a guy overcome something, you know, and a woman
will be like, well, fuck, I likea fantasyland, but there's no

(37:40):
goddamn feet. Women, prominent women in Lord
of the Rings. You know, there's no fucking big
woman character that's like out there fucking.
I was talking more about the theromance, the.
No, that's what I'm saying. There's a difference.
There's a difference. There's a romanticizer who likes
the romance aspect. It doesn't have to be in a
fantasy type thing. Like my wife, all the books she
reads, all the shows she watchesis like fantasy stuff.

(38:01):
Dragons, vampires, werewolves, shit like that.
Just like a guy would if it didn't have the, you know, the
emotional lovey dovey aspect of it.
It was like an adventure thing and overcoming obstacles,
because that's how, that's how aguy views himself as like, you
know, like if he was put into a predicament, would he be the
hero? Would he be a villain?
It's, it's, it's honestly the same thing like when a guy

(38:24):
watches anime and then they're like talking shit about like
Vampire Diaries, bro. There is no anime that has more
depth than van powered errors. They have the same amount of
depth. If you're sitting there talking
shit about Twilight, I am sorry.Every single anime you have,
they'll be like with this. This guy's conflicted.
He has the same, you know, either face arc where he turns

(38:48):
into a good guy turn into a bad guy arc, bad guy turn into a
good guy arc. Well, he's bad because of this
really traumatic thing that thenyou know he he didn't want to go
through. He had to go through and that's
what made him a villain. Bro.
There's no substance and either one of them, people just like it
because it is like this, you know, fantasy thing.
Is it good? Is it?
And then literally like the judge of animes is like, well,

(39:11):
how much talking did they do versus like action and vice
versa? Because in Dragon Ball Z you
have no action, fuck loads of talking.
And you're like Jesus Christ, guys fucking fight each other.
And in something like Attack on Titan, like they'll give you 1
plot point and you'll be like ohfucking cliffhanger, I want to
know what happens. And you'll get 4 episodes of
fighting and you're just like stop, just run away.
You don't even have to do this. Like just stop fucking fighting

(39:33):
for five seconds so we can get some God damn plot.
There is literally as much depthin Vampire Diaries Twilight as
there are in animes. There is nothing.
There's no anime you're going towatch that is going to fuck in
like shock you to your core. There's no anime you're going to
watch that has all these like just like big brain twist turns.
Literally all of them have the same style characters, just like

(39:54):
in American film today, the samelike, you know, typecasting.
Of course you could have good like really well written
characters in anime, but it's nothing different than anything
that a woman has watched where there's not been a character in
it. But they'll talk shit about each
other like oh, that guy likes nerdy stuff.
It's the same thing you're watching or that you know, guy
will be like, oh, she likes these Oh very romance love me

(40:18):
Stefan type shit. And it's the same thing he
watches and it's so weird because.
Y'all are watching like I have watched both and I could be like
y'all are watching the same fucking thing.
I was watching. I was watching Nardo.
OK? You don't know anything about
Naruto. So Naruto his his father was a
very prominent figure like a president called a Hokage.

(40:41):
He didn't know that OK? A demon attacked their village
and he, the dad sealed that demon inside of his son before
he died. That was his dying thing.
That's what he died doing, OK. And nobody talked about him
being the Hokage, who was the president, and then nobody
talked about him being because that would put him in more
danger than already having that demon inside of him.

(41:01):
OK. So he grew up, grows up as an
orphan. Everybody's like scared of him
because they don't know that he's like this hero son.
And he's like an outcast, OK? So he befriends another outcast.
That's what they like. He he wants to befriend on him.
Actually, it's like this fuckingjust bond, this destiny bond
that they always had. I'm not going to get into that

(41:22):
part, but he befriends this, this kid Sasuke.
And now Sasuke is was part of a clan called the Uchihas.
They had to do these power with their eyes.
It's Sharagan. OK, that was their power.
Kind of every all these clans have different powers and things
that they can do. Unless nobody cares about your
character, then we're not going to write any powers for him.

(41:44):
They're just regular ass fuckingninjas that is going to die off
screen. But Saske, people talk about
Saske in like the Nardo form. Like I joined a Nardo subreddit
and I literally had to get out of it because of how much they
they're like, you know, fuck youguys.
Like, he had to go through so much as a kid and all this
stuff. And because he was a, his

(42:06):
brother killed his whole clan, all the people in there wiped
him out. Who's brother?
Sasuke's brother. Yeah.
So Sasuke grew up with this family.
All of them got murdered by his brother, who then, like,
tormented him, put him through athing called Sukiyami, where for
years he's getting tormented in his mind and only last seconds
he has to relive the deaths overand over again.

(42:27):
So he's like, you know, a reallyfucked up kid.
And that's who, you know, Nardo attaches to.
And everybody's just like they're so enthralled with
because he's like the cool guy, the mysterious, the doesn't
really give information away. So all these weebs fucking nut
hug this guy and they're like, well, you don't understand.
Like if Sasuke could have done this and done that, I'm like,
Sasuke is a fictional character that was written, that was

(42:49):
written. He didn't do this because the
writers didn't write that, OK? He did something.
He was this powerful because thewriters wrote that.
Like there's no, there's not an actual yeah, there's no Sasuke
is not out here doing all these fucking, you know, big brain
things because bro. So Naruto is a anime that says

(43:09):
hard work beats talent when talent refuses to work hard.
That's what they're trying to gofor.
But they made the the genius kidbecause the Shahrangan is like
the greatest ability you can have like as a clan.
The the eyes. OK, well, they also made him a
genius. So out the gate you're starting
off with powers. Yes, but then also he does like
work his ass off. Like he trains his ass off.

(43:31):
He's not like a lazy guy. He's constantly working.
Nardo is like the kid is, is like the tarnish of no renown,
like he's just a, he's just a orphan.
That's what everybody believes. He's just this orphan and he
just works hard every day to prove that he isn't what
everybody thinks he is. That's what the story supposed
to be. And then they kind of lose that
after in in Shippuden, which is like the they're teenagers

(43:55):
instead of kids. Nardo was when they were kids.
Nardo Shippudens. When they're teenagers, they
have this thing where like they're trying to get the demon
out of Nardo Takasi arc and it ends with them fighting the sky
Payne. If the show would have just
ended there because then the whole village loved Nardo and
they accept him and they you know, it goes through the
timetable of them talking shit about him to finally accepting

(44:17):
him. If it would have just ended
there really good. But then they were just like,
you know what, we're going to take all these things and we're
just going to kind of like, because then Sasuke still had
that like good guy, I'm not going to kill people.
He was, he turned evil. He was like an antagonist
throughout Shippuden. Not really an antagonist, but it
shows him trying to like go his own path, which is not what

(44:39):
everybody else would have done. It's kind of what bad guys would
do. But he's still like showing the
good even though he's not a bad guy.
And then after that were they were like, you know what, we're
just going to now make him a like a irredeemable bad guy.
And everybody's like, well, you get you had to see it coming.
And it's like, no, no, if if right now I told you about Ted
Bundy killing all these people, you know what I'm saying?

(45:01):
You would be like, wow, that's afucking terrible guy.
Well, I'll be like, well, you don't you don't understand his
childhood, his family got murdered in front of him and all
that stuff. And then nobody's going to be
like, wow, deep character, like what the fuck, Because he finds
out. I don't want to spoil it.
No, I don't want to spoil the show for anybody.
Amas are weird and like how fastsomebody will like watch it
because like, you know, the thatkind of culture is picking up.

(45:22):
So something I'm like, you know,fucking I watched that show 15
years ago was done with that shit.
Somebody might be picking up on it now, but the reason for why
he then is like, I'll kill everybody.
We'll see. That's the craziest thing about
like, and I get that the first time watching stuff you don't
want like, you know, spoilers, but I've watched multiple
series, like knowing exactly what's going to happen, and it's

(45:43):
still an intriguing enough story.
Then I'll watch it again and again.
Jesus Christ, Amy's dad, like hehas gotten us on to so many
shows, but that's how he always starts.
He's like you guys got to watch Game of Thrones there they make
you fall in love with every character and then there's this
Red Wedding where they just fucking kill off all these, all
these main characters. I'm like, why?

(46:04):
Why would I want to watch it now?
If you're like telling me the biggest part and then I actually
watch it and I'm just like, eventhough I know what happens,
there's still like stuff that happens in between and I'm like,
what Game of Thrones was so good?
That is The One Show like lost cuz I anytime I talk about, I've
never never seen lost. I don't want to do it just
because I didn't have the hindsight of like how bad the

(46:27):
last season of Game of Thrones would be, but I had the season 8
of Game of Thrones was terrible and they destroyed so many
character arcs. They rushed through it because
they wanted to go shoot that fucking Star Wars movie.
And then they did so bad that they were like, you're not
touching Star Wars, which made me feel good on the inside.
But Lost, I think that is the worst.

(46:51):
And I like Game of Thrones. So the reason the fact that I
say I like Game of Thrones and Ithought season 8 sucked, but I'm
saying Lost is worse, even though that's saying something
because there's a scene in one of the seasons where the they
talk about the island being likea cork, OK, And if this cork
gets pulled in, like all this bad shit happens and this island

(47:11):
that they're on is like a cork. And then it's like a very
figurative, like really good, beautiful thing to say.
Like it makes you kinda to understand with depth and
there's like this gravitas to itthat's just like, fuck, it's
like a cork and it's you know, you pull the cork and then all
this fucking shit will happen and the whole world like fucking
implodes and shit. And then season 8 happened or

(47:33):
their last season happens, whichis the I don't know what season
was for them. And then you find out when they
get to the the location of whereeverything's at, it's a fucking
cork. A legit.
A legit big wooden cork in this fucking thing.
And the corniest goddamn thing you could ever Fucking yeah.
The corniest fucking thing you could.
Fucking no. See, it was a cork.
We told you it was a cork. Game of Thrones was so bad

(47:54):
because like they literally tooka guy who fucked his sister, had
had sexual children with a sister, killed people we liked
and just overall douchebag builthim up as a douchebag for two
seasons where I mean, you wantedthis whole family to die in the
most horrible way. And then slowly over time, like

(48:17):
you just like, I'm not going to like him.
Like there's no way you get me to fucking like him.
And as you keep going and going,like fucking like Jamie, get out
of there. You're you're going to die, bud.
Run. And then literally within two
episodes, he's like, he starts dating a character we all love
and she feels like nobody could love her because she's very
masculine and shit like that. And her and Jamie have a

(48:39):
relationship. Well, right after they have sex,
he's like, I don't love you. And then goes back to his
sister, the bitch. We fucking hate to die with her
in two episodes. It's just like, I'm fucking
ruining you. Got it.
Five seasons. Five seasons of fucking just
building it up. OK.
And then because people will be like, well, you know, there were
some Targaryens to go. There was a lot of Targaryens
that didn't go mad. It's not a thing about is it in

(49:01):
your bloodline to go fucking mad?
But Daenerys like for free and all these slaves and then season
8 starts, she has like had no hint of she's going to turn bad.
There's no build up to it. She just starts fucking killing
innocent people after her whole thing was like freeing slaves
and stuff like that. She's just so angry she had to
kill all these innocent people and for fucking no reason.
And then you get to the big threat.

(49:24):
The big threat was the like the white, the white walkers, like
we all knew, like the Game of Thrones, the politicking.
That was a very that was the show.
The overarching thing was like, what fuck it happens when this
army of undead like can they, can these people who are arguing
unite to fight a common enemy? And it's a real good play on
life and it's very, very poetic.They were like, we're going to

(49:46):
make it so dark. You cannot see anything if if
they're fighting at night, by the way, if CG, if there's a big
CGI happening at night is because they were like, fuck
God, we don't know if we can make this look good because dark
CGI doing CGI at night is betterthan day.
So you can't see fucking nothing.
They fight undramatically, like not no big characters die.

(50:07):
And that's what we thought we were going to lose a lot of
people. No real big characters that
people are going to be enjoy wasn't a big character.
Shut the fuck up. This is a character.
And then like, you have this child of prophecy like this,
this child born of fire and ice,and he is supposed to, you know,

(50:29):
destroy the big bad, whatever. And it's his sister who kills
the Night King. You know what's funny is we
started this conversation down this road with you not wanting
to ruin anime for people by giving them the.
No, I'm warning people not to not to watch Game of Thrones.
That's what I'm doing. I'm like, don't watch it.
I'm on a spoiler for you. So you die because there's
people to say it's like, you know everyone.

(50:49):
Started like what? What season was it on when you
started? 6.
See, that's, I think that's about when people were telling
me to start it and I was like, that's just so much fucking
watching that I have to do. That's the best.
That is the best. I don't want to watch a show.
I don't want to start a show in the first season because I don't
want to watch. Like, imagine the Game of
Thrones was still that beautifulmoment where you had to watch

(51:10):
every single week. But yeah, I can watch a whole
thing of Stranger Things. I can watch a whole season or
something. I'm not saying I don't want to
start something where it's like you watch an episode and you get
away and then you watch. Wait.
Till the seasons over. That's what I'm talking about.
Like you had six seasons of juststuff to binge, so that's what I
prefer. Right, that's the part.
That's the our new marketing strategy part of me like the,

(51:34):
you know, like the this is how you do successful things in
life. And like, I've gotten myself
away from like because I am an addict when it comes to like
starting a show, I'm just like, I want to watch the next episode
and next. I just got to find out what
happens. Yeah, and so like, I will
literally stay up all fucking night and then not get any sleep
and then come into work and I'm just like, oh God.
I should a good show does that though.

(51:55):
Yes, and like I've done that so many a.
Bad Show cannot do that. I did that like as soon as Ozone
came, like the the newest season, like I was just like,
all right, I'm just gonna watch one episode.
I really need to go back and watch because it was starting to
pick up. It just takes so fucking long to
really that's. The type of stuff that I'm into
though is like it's more. Yeah, but I've seen enough shows

(52:16):
where it starts to build and then they just fucking do fuck
all. They did great with theirs.
I, I feel like they, they playedit out, you know, in a very good
way that it didn't feel drug out.
It felt like it was nice and encapsulated and all the things
kind of buttoned up at the end. Like, I mean, there's stuff that
I didn't like about it, but it was overall the best small

(52:36):
encapsulated show that I've seen.
I never like, I never judged someone when they're like, I
just couldn't get into Breaking Bad because the first couple
episodes it is like a schlog andwe understand like, well.
I. Was in love from like 5 minutes
in but that was just me knowing what was like about to come of
the chaos. It's weird because I think until

(52:57):
episode 3 you don't really get that.
You have to watch and see what happens next.
Like if you're if you're like, yeah, I watched the first
season. I just can't get.
I'm just like, it only goes up from there too.
Like it's a great season and it only goes.
But if they're like yeah I watched the 1st 2 episodes, I
just couldn't do anything. I think that's where the ending
kind of messed with me, though, because it wasn't it was like
you had to watch and like so I was anticipating it so bad that

(53:19):
like I would watch it week by week and it was just like, God,
you feels like you're dragging this out you.
Know Breaking Bad wasn't shit until season 4 there right?
What do you mean like the? How many do they have?
How many seasons they have it? Was only four or five, wasn't
it? Was it four or five?
I think it was 7. Was it 7?
I can't remember. I can't remember it.
Yeah, there was. 7 was I think it had seven seasons.
Whichever way it played out, like when it was getting towards

(53:40):
the end, I was like, OK, I feel like you guys are just dragging
this thing out like. No, that's when I got, that's
when I actually like got mainstream big.
But did you watch some people, like talk about it?
Did you watch it through like while it was airing?
The last season, the like the final, the because remember they
split the the last season into two seasons.

(54:02):
I think it is 7 seasons. It might be five seasons.
No, it's five seasons. Yeah.
See, I was right before you saidI was like it's five seasons.
Yeah, season 4 is when it got big.
So it got big a season before itended.
Yeah, I was watching it from dayone.
I I watched and then so I could catch up to the season.
Season 5 Part 2, yeah. So it's like 6 seasons.

(54:24):
That's why I was confused on howmany seasons because they split
it up into two different sets. I've not I've not watched Better
Call Saul at all. A.
Lot of people said that Better Call Saul is better right up
there, yeah. If I think I false claimed one
time to watch Better Call Saul because I don't want to tell
people that I haven't seen it and they'd be like, it's better
than Breaking Bad. And I'm just like, I don't know.
I love when they like. That is one thing that I love

(54:45):
about it doesn't feel like a rehash.
It feels like telling a different part of the story.
And that's that's what I love islike, you know, not necessarily
like telling the after the before, but like picking a
character that is a very influential character and then
like telling the back story behind them.
Those those are cool break offs for.
I like that. Sometimes I, I, I enjoy a story.

(55:08):
Like, I look, I have enough knowledge of Better Call Saul,
like I've seen every episode's highlights, so I know the whole
fucking like I know about like Lalo and shit like that.
Ruin it though. No, I did that because I didn't
want to watch it, because I don't want to sit there.
I don't care how much more you try to get me to like Mike or

(55:31):
you know, his back story on how like everything fit in with the
fucking Salamancas and everything like that.
If I know that he died beside a lake because of a fucking
megalomaniac, you know what I'm saying?
He didn't have like, I know his story and how I know the ending
of his story. Jesus Christ, Fucking don't.

(55:54):
Look, I'm going to get it. Wait a second.
It's coming to me. Jesus Christ.
I can remember see everybody's fucking name.
The guy who ran the chicken place.
Kingpin Guy. What's that sound or no?
No, her. Her.

(56:16):
It sounds like you you're not getting.
No, no, no, no, because Hermanosis the chicken's place is the
chicken place Los Hermanos. Look, I can remember that.
Don't tell me I'm a remember, all right?
But we're going to keep talking about it.
Like him. I know that he, you know, I know
what happens to him. Don't look him up because I'm
going to. It's going to come to me.
You know Mike wasn't supposed tobe a big character, right?
Yeah, I know. I know.
But they show it was like Jesse.Jesse wasn't supposed to be a

(56:37):
big character. Oh, really?
Really. Yeah.
Jesse was supposed to die at theend of season 1, but people
liked him. So what they kept with him.
Yes. Jesse was not supposed to be.
That's crazy. That was kind of like a they had
a story and they kind of knew where they wanted to go with it.
And then they just kind of. Yeah, without Jesse, like, I
don't know, like, because that was such a good dynamic of like
the constant push and pull between the two, like, you know,

(56:58):
both of them kind of fucking up their way through, like.
Becoming the only thing I made. Drunking pins.
The only thing I hate is like, people will be like, man, you
know, Better Call Saul, the big brains, they had to fucking, you
know, when they're about to killSaul Goodman and he's like,
well, they have him. They have the grave, Doug, Jesse

(57:21):
and Walter. They have the fucking grave,
Doug. And he's like, did Lalo send you
guys? And like, that's when you hear
about Lalo, who doesn't fucking appear until a whole new show.
Like they had that. And I'm like, yeah, you fucking
you say anything right there andthen build the character behind
it. Like it doesn't have to fit at
all. But to, I don't know, it's just
like I watched it through, like the the highlights and stuff

(57:41):
like that because like, I'm so uninterested.
Like I don't, I'm not going to fuck.
What is it? Have you looked it up yet?
Because I cannot think about what the fuck I'm saying every
like I could say side characters, names, everything
like that. If I forget a name, I'm fucked.
Who owned Los Hermanos? What the fuck is his name?

(58:10):
And look, people are probably screaming at their phones right
now who are listening? Jesus, Gus, Gus Frank, God Bless
America. Look it.
I don't know why. And what's so funny is if you
have someone who's watched the show and you've watched Better
Call Saul, I say I. Haven't watched, I've watched
the first like few episodes. That's one of the things is like

(58:31):
when it's when it's released weekly, it's so easy to fall out
of like, oh, I just don't watch that anymore.
And at the first onset of BetterCall Saul, I was watching it
weekly because it was on like, what, FX at the time, Yeah.
And then and so it was like weekly being put out.
And I'm just like, meh, I haven't watched it.
And so like, I have not seen. I think I don't.

(58:52):
Think was it not on AMC? Or AMC, whichever one it was
like. I didn't.
I don't remember if it was on, but it.
Was a weekly it wasn't dropped. Like you know when stranger
things dropped I watched all of it like within the first like 3
days. The thing about it is too is if
something is like, if it's a weekly fucking show, you, you
don't know when to jump ship to,like if you're sitting there

(59:13):
watching that and then there's nothing like that's getting you
to watch the next episode, then you can be like, OK, this, this
show sucks. I can break away from it.
But like The Walking Dead, you have two of the greatest seasons
and an episodic series history. Yeah, great.
Just. Amazing.
The Walking Dead, the first, thesecond season, some of the
greatest television you could ever watch.

(59:34):
If you're like, hey, show ends there.
Fucking phenomenal, one of the greatest shows of all time.
Naked season 3 and you're like, well.
It's just good enough to keep mecoming.
Yeah, it's, it's all right. We got some and then like season
4 and then season 5 and you're getting just so far away because

(59:54):
a, they split up the plot so much.
Everything's so fucking redundant.
When you get like such tiny little, like you've got 7
stories going on and so you get a little update of each one of
those stories. Like that's it, like.
Just I think, I think Stranger Things really showed how to like
kind of do that. I'm not saying the stranger like
in the first season, they are cliffhangers were really good.

(01:00:15):
And the second, third and 4th, the cliffhangers dropped off of
their storytelling got better. So I think they show you how to
do that because they'll have like 3 scenarios going at once.
The Walking Dead had 15 and you get incrementally very little
and then you're. Like go a whole episode without
getting there. Multiple episodes because they
they have several different plotpoints going on and then they

(01:00:35):
are a very if the plot calls forit, I'll do it.
You know, if they're gonna be 30zombies in a building, well, we
got to clean these 30 zombies. It's gonna be really.
And then 2 zombies could be a roadblock for somebody and.
I'm just take 40 minutes, yeah and it.
Was just like when the plot calls for it.
The governor was a awful antagonist to follow up Shane
that's look, I understand you'regoing about comics and

(01:00:59):
everything like that. He is just, I don't know how it
is in the comics. Well, I think that was that's
one thing you can say about The Walking Dead is they they
stretched out the main plot withjust The Walking Dead far too
long. And then after extending that
out so long, then they started to offshoot new shows and like

(01:01:23):
they should have done it sooner.They should have ended at season
3 or 4 and been like nice bow all done.
Now here's the rest of the universe that we can start
showing you. Like we could just do the
fucking, you know, the governor and like have a little offshoot
go that way and, you know, not have it be like you're bought
into The Walking Dead proper. It could just be that plot line

(01:01:44):
and then tell like, cuz I mean, they're still putting him out to
this day. Like they're still Walking Dead.
Like beer, The Walking Dead, shit like that.
Yeah, like and. And that's The Walking Dead
Carols Carols thing. Had you not had you not ruined
it with the main one? Like because I've watched a
couple of them, like I, I reallylike fucking Anthony or what is
his name? The guy that was in, the guy

(01:02:07):
that played Daryl like I liked him from.
I like the Daryl R memes. What do you mean that you can't
fucking? Let me tell you like.
I don't think he's the greatest actor but I can't remember his
name but he was in fucking A. Now I can't remember the name of
that one either. It's about the 2 Irish guys in
Boston and. Latter Day Saints, No.

(01:02:30):
Yeah, it's Boondock Saints. Boondock Saints.
There you go. And I've watched that movie 100
times. But like, I like him as a just
as a guy. As a background guy, yeah.
Yeah. As a as a menacing looking.
But he's a fun actor in BoondockSaints and not to say that he
was like super great at acting, but like I love his his
character in the. Way blade?
I don't know, I think he was in Blade.
But I liked him in Boondock Saints and then I liked him in

(01:02:53):
The Walking Dead, and so I watched his little.
I think he's a good actor. Yeah.
I think they just made his character shit.
Like you were the most closed minded.
When someone tells you something, you don't really
listen. And then over and over again.
We're going to kind of like build it up where we get it, we
get it, you care. Yeah, we get it, You care.

(01:03:14):
But you, you show that you don'treally care.
Like you, you're so hard on the outside, but we get it.
You have a loving on the inside.And we're just going to do that
the whole time, the whole time, the whole time.
No, you're going to not care andthen you're going to care and
then you're going to, you're going to care, but you're going
to look like you not care. And we just want you to look,
not caring why you care. Well, then we're going to set up
like this whole thing with you and Carol like it's something

(01:03:36):
and then just never have it be fucking anything throughout this
whole like, you know, season after season after season after
season, like Carol's your person, but like you're just
like nothing really comes of youand Carol's like relationship,
right? I don't know Carol, the
character. I get it.
I don't. I can't remember the show that

(01:03:58):
well to be like, well, Carol's turning into a badass.
I think she just had the moment where she turned badass, where
she was just like, I don't thinkthere was like a moment where
she because you got to think shestarts off battered wife.
Oh yeah. Which is always great for a
character. Super battered, battered wife.
And then This is why I didn't like Carol.

(01:04:19):
And I could never just get into the and this lady's going to be
like a prominent. Oh yeah, you're going to be a
bro. Some badass badass wouldn't go
in the woods and look for a daughter.
No, I wouldn't. Wouldn't step inside of them to
go take a little peeksy. Dude wasn't.
She trying to fight to be able to do that but was being told
not to. No.
I didn't think I, I don't know. I haven't watched.
Daryl, Daryl had to go look for Sophia, Sophie, whatever the

(01:04:42):
kids name was. And Even so hell or high water
is not going to Get Me Out therelooking for my kid night and
day. I'm not going to come back and
go home and go to bed until my child's found I'll die out in
the woods. I'll get 8 like yeah she did,
but still like you know, I'll get bit like how do you get bit
by a zombie and still get away if you're a child?
That's the one thing they got. I would have rather them just

(01:05:02):
like. Mutilated.
She just found her body or something like that.
Well, that's what, you know, played for some story points
over on in Herschel's farm. So I mean just the fact of
wanting to find her still. God dammit, Shane was a fucking
great character. When you have fuck look, so they
go to that little fucking, you understand that maybe, maybe

(01:05:25):
Rick is not like the leader. Like they show Rick fucking up
and then you have this other guywho was leading everybody who
was doing a really good job. You know, he did fall in love
with his best friend's girl. He thinks his best friend is
dead, but no. He kind of left him for.
Dead yeah, he left him for dead so that that does kind of you
don't know that at first you don't know that at first so they
they're having this like thing and.

(01:05:48):
Did they have anything going on before like the world went to
shit or like. No, they were just, they were
just cop buddies sitting. There, yeah, I know, but the
wife, No. No no, no no no no.
So Lori 100% thinks that he's just dead.
He had died. He got 8 by zombies.
Shane knows that he's still in the hospital bed but he had to
get out of there. But figured.
That he probably would, right Which?
You have an unconscious friend who's been in a coma after

(01:06:10):
getting shot. I'm going to like, what am I
carrying you out of there? No, I'm gonna fuck your wife.
Like if if you're, if you're my child, I'm gonna carry you out
of there. I know you're probably gonna
die, like on the way to whereverwe're going, but I'm not gonna
let these motherfuckers eat you.I'm at least gonna like a grown
ass man like you do have to. There were zombies there.
Like you can give him a benefit of the doubt.
Not with the fucking the friendsgirl.

(01:06:30):
That's kind of fucked. Yeah, I would not do that.
Cuz it's only weeks in, right? It's only weeks that he was not
there for like months. Just like fucking dying in a
bed. I don't know what the, I don't
know what the time could. Have only been there he.
Could have only been there for like 7 days before he dehydrated
so. And then gets.
Finally catches up. Well, I don't think that's the

(01:06:51):
timetable that they were going by.
People don't put a lot of thought into the time, you know
what I'm saying? But even still, if it's like
less than a month and like you're already fucking home to
his wife, like you're you were playing on your game in that the
whole. I mean, the world is in and you
don't know what you do, but still OK.
And he he has his idea of what'sright, which is kind of right.
You know what I'm saying? Like if a kid from an opposing

(01:07:14):
gang who braggadociously rapes other fucking I'm killing that
kid like I have to to protect the people that I love.
I don't fucking love those people.
I don't. And you're already telling me
that they're shit people. I'm sorry, kid, we're gone.
Yeah, we're fucking killing you and Rick being like, we can't we
go with Coral. Coral, If Coral sees me killing
these kids, then he goes, oh God.

(01:07:36):
I got. I look like, shut the fuck up,
bro. You're in like there's no rules.
There's no law enforcement. You are not the law.
Like if these guys come back, they outnumber you massively is.
This, the show that you initially wanted to start was
the Mike and Dylan review movies.
I love it, I love it. I'm excited to see how people
take this kind of episode. I think a lot of people are

(01:07:57):
going to be like Mike, shut the fuck up about shows we don't cuz
a lot of people could not have seen these shows.
Did you watch the whole happy Guild War 2 or do you have to
shut it off cuz it wasn't. A lot of people love Happy
Gilmore too. Like, they sit, they sit and
they watch it. I get it.
It's like the Mario movie. Like I said, movies don't have
to be like. I think they did very good in
some parts and then did absolutely terrible in other

(01:08:18):
parts. I agree with you that they
didn't have to. Like I get for the story they
had to kill off the wife. No, man, she was like, do you
want to retire? If it's so stupid, I don't want
to see, I don't want to see the same God damn thing of something
bad happens and the guy gets back into the sport because that
just fucking retire like your wife was like you should retire

(01:08:39):
and. Oh no, she wanted him.
Where's? The time gap.
Oh yeah, she wanted him to keep going.
She should. Yeah, she should want him to
retire. What?
And what a fucking money hungry thing to say.
Well, she's just like. About your wife, No, you have so
you have so much more to account.
You have so much more money to make for me, bitch, I'm not
happy with $50 million. I want $100 million.
Look, you could have just, he could have just, it's been so

(01:09:01):
much time. Just fucking retire.
And then she all she said was like, golf's not done with you
or you're not. Yeah, yeah, something stupid and
then she fucking dies, bro, don't give me the same shit of
something bad. And then I made it to.
So he's in the grocery store, Crypto bro comes up, he's
starting this fucking new thing.He's drinking from a cucumber.

(01:09:23):
Hilarious. That's the shit I want to
fucking see. And then he's like, turn off the
cameras so I can beat this guy. And he throws them in and I'm
like, I don't want to see this. Like I don't want to see like I
wanna see the. Goofy stuff.
There was so much like I I thinkthat's the hard part is like to
like anticipate, like the one part that I didn't like and you.

(01:09:44):
If you, if you listen and enjoyed it, look, I'm not saying
there's any slide on you. I'm saying that I I feel like he
just shit out something for nostalgia instead of actually
doing like an Adam Sandler project where you can see the
corny passion behind it. He did shit out something.
I think he I think he did a great job of like, I'm not

(01:10:05):
saying it's a great movie. I think it's I think it's a good
one time watch. I probably won't find myself
watching it, whereas the original I'll watch.
Yeah, the original you can watch.
Multiple times over it, right? I think with this one there was
a little bit nostalgia. Just vomit some stuff out.
There was a lot of good parts toit, but there were a lot of like

(01:10:26):
just missteps. And like one of them was the
whole like fight scene where they did a lot of callbacks to
like all the the characters thatdidn't make it in the movie,
like Bob Barker and. He would have died.
He's. The he's the lady and like stuff
like that. And it was it was OK, but there
was those moments where I was just like, you're just cramming
this in there just to cram it inthere.

(01:10:47):
Like we don't need this. Like you, you got plenty of
other callbacks to other people.Like I mean, even like the Chubs
son, like he was a good character, but like him having
his hand off and all that stuff.You don't have to like fucking
same same. Everything has to, it doesn't
have to be that. It's like when I make a skit and
I'm like, it's like goofy, goofy, goofy.
It's like you don't need all that.
You can take some of the add some real, which I get like the

(01:11:10):
first one. He's a hockey player and he will
fight you and he's getting into this golf game and that's why it
was so good because he's like a hockey player.
He's he's very rambunctious and shit for and you know, it's
funny that he goes off on Bob Barker and Bob fucking punches
him and shit like that. And it it felt spaced out where
immediately it just like startedoff and I just man I could not

(01:11:31):
after the guy gets on the fish tank I just want to turn it off.
Yeah, and I mean, that's real early on.
I, I think it's worth the one time through just like, I guess
the part of it me is like, I know what to expect from an Adam
Sandler movie. And like, I mean, I even watched
like Jack and Jill and did not turn that off, even though it
was the shittiest movie I've ever seen in my life.

(01:11:51):
But like, it's kind of like whenme and you create a skit or
something like that, like the amount of time that we pour into
it to just do something that people are going to watch like,
you know, a minute or two of like I'm just like, I hope
people at least watch to the endto deliver whatever we were
trying to deliver to them, right?
And so like, it takes a lot for me to be like, Nope, not going

(01:12:13):
to watch it. Like I watched like 4 episodes
of some shitty show on like Apple TV and I was just like,
wait. And I was like, does this get
better? And I literally googled and I
was like, does this ever get good?
And people are like, not really.I'm like, OK, well, I feel OK
shutting that off. But for a lot of like, I would
sit through, you know, Breaking Bad or any of these ones with

(01:12:33):
the anticipation that eventuallyit's got to get good.
And so with the Happy Gilmore 2,I watched the whole.
Thing I want to be honest OK, soI'm going to be honest right
here and I'm going to get some shit for it because God damn it.
I am the first person that will say the Mario like the Mario
movie. That's fun and I defend Adam

(01:12:56):
Sandler a lot OK, and I'm like you know his movies.
He has a demographic and he makes it and they love the
movies. They go and watch it so
obviously his if his guys like it.
I have not watched really at Adam's day.
I watched Grown-ups and I was like, I can't, like, I can't
keep going like this. Wait.

(01:13:17):
You didn't start with like BillyMadison.
Or no. And this is the point that I got
to that I'm at grown-ups. OK.
And then the fucking the video game movie came out and I was
like, well, he is just on his own path.
He has his own vision. And I am not one part of that.
Yeah, yeah, I'm not. I'm not a part of this video.
I could see that, you know, And then Jack and Jill came out and

(01:13:39):
everybody said it was so hard and I didn't even touch.
It that was before grown-ups or anything.
What? Jack and Jill, no it was not.
Yes it was. No it wasn't.
Don't look. And for those listening, he is
currently Googling his own wrongness right now, so I have
in two. 1011. What was?

(01:13:59):
Jack and Jill. Yep, and then grown-ups was 2010
two. 1010 so it was in the same fucking time.
And he knows the fucking years in.
The same exact time frame like ayear is not but.
That's what I'm saying. That's what I gave up.
And then I saw Jack and Jill andI was like, I'm not even going
to watch that. Yes.
And so like all I'm getting at is like.
And then he had this video game movie and I was like, oh, the
the idea behind that has gotten me to and then I watch it and

(01:14:22):
I'm like, it's still not for me.And that's when I pretty much
like once look and once again I like how.
About like hotel I love. Adam Sandler to death.
He doesn't write these movies. Like he's not sitting there
fucking writing these goddamn movies.
So the y'all, y'all, I understand you love Adam

(01:14:43):
Sandler, the actor. He's not fucking, he's not
writing these. And I don't know who the fuck's
writing them or just shitting these things out, but they they
shit them out because you will watch like that's it.
You, you have nostalgia. Like imagine if they made a a
like if they worked on it and they actually, instead of just
being like, oh man, we're going to fucking cuz bro, it was what

(01:15:05):
They worked on fucking Bill for what, 6 months?
They worked on this movie maybe cuz it was like, oh hey, they're
going to do this. And then they fucking started
doing it. And then they immediately was on
Netflix and they shitted out because you'll go and watch it
and you'll talk about it and you'll be like, well, I know
it's bad, but yeah, it's Billy. Like it's my childhood.
What? They did to Billy Madison.
Not Billy Madison, fucking HappyGilmore, but like, it's my

(01:15:25):
fucking childhood. Like it's, it's what I
wholeheartedly expect with the popularity of this, that we're
going to get a big Daddy's too with fucking Cole sprouts.
And it's going to be just as it's going to be just as stupid
as that. Because it was stupid.
It was dumb. Like there's no, there's no
heart, there's no humor. That's a rich guy shitting out
shit. And you like it because people
like it because it's a it's nostalgia.

(01:15:47):
Like they want to feel like theydid back then.
They want to like when you firstwatched Happy Gilmore, you were
younger, you were probably with friends or something like that.
It was on a fucking Saturday. Like you have fond memories of
that. And right now it's just a guy
saying, hey, you guys that I don't know if the same guy who
wrote, you know, Big Daddy, the big ones, Billy Madison, Happy

(01:16:09):
Gilmore, I don't think they got still writing for.
He might be, I don't know. I don't think he is.
I think he has his own production company now.
It might be Sandler right in these movies.
I don't think it is, but cuz it's not there, it's not.
I haven't looked in to any of it.
But it's just a guy shitting outmoney or just shitting out
something because you will watchit.
And that's just kind of like theoverarching problem with us

(01:16:33):
right now is like, well, I mean,we weren't going to get anything
better. Like it's like people
complaining about the Madden series games and they're like,
these games are so bad, but I have to buy it.
It's the only football. No, you have football simulators
from the past 1525 years that you could play that you could
play that not buy the new one. Well, they were like, well, if I
don't buy the new one, I'm just going to miss out.
Well, see, that's the thing though, I, I think the hard part

(01:16:55):
is, is there's something to be said about nostalgia and all
that. However, I think there's also
people that are far too, they expect too much from a redo of a
movie. Like I like watching super
Troopers. Super Troopers was such a
fucking cult classic. Just they nailed it.
And then on the second one, it was so far detached from it.

(01:17:16):
I enjoyed it. I I just thought that like they
did a good job of trying to bring that humor back.
The same thing that they had. They didn't try to just recreate
the same exact thing. Is it, you know, a step up?
Not really. Is it a step sideways?
Is it decent? Yeah.
And is it, like a step down? I don't think so.
But like, there's so many peoplethat are like, ah, this is just

(01:17:36):
played out, blah, blah, blah. I think there's a lot to be
said. Like with the Boondock Saints,
like, they did a terrible job ofthe second one because they
tried to make it into something that it wasn't.
The first one was kind of grittyand just like a lower budget
movie that was like, decent but not trying to be like a
Hollywood blockbuster. And then when they did the

(01:17:57):
second one, they tried to make it into a Hollywood blockbuster.
Yeah. And so they ruined the concept
and what was good about it. And then they like also tried to
do basically what I'm saying is kind of wrong with fucking Happy
Guilmore 2 is like they tried totake characters and like so the
the detective in the first one is now it's his daughter or

(01:18:18):
like, or somebody else playing. But like they're trying to copy
his mannerisms and like basically recreate his
character. And it's like, no, it can be a
completely fucking new character.
It doesn't have to be anything like this other one.
And like, that's where they really start to go wrong.
With it's not that. It's not that I'm looking for
anything out of a fucking. It's like, it's like Eminem,
man, like fucking back in the day, Like at least you got heart

(01:18:42):
from this shit, like you got passion and stuff like that.
Eminem is different because I think that he is just on his own
little. I think he's trying to like
resurrect the dead with his his rapping.
I don't know what he's doing like, but it's no, he's no
longer like a poor kid that was,you know, growing up in Detroit
or anything like that. He doesn't have the fire to be
on top of the gate because he's on top.

(01:19:02):
You know what I'm saying? So now he's just like seeing how
fast he can rhyme words togetherand how if he if if the heck of
the hedron of fucking entendre is possible.
And you know what I'm saying? Like he's trying to like do like
some 4D chess rapping and stuff like that.
So I get that. But Adam Sandler, like his
movies just don't have they don't have the heart, the

(01:19:23):
passion anymore. It's just like you could watch
Billy Madison and sure, you got a rich kid who's going back to
school. There's just as it's it's goofy,
it's not a good movie. There's no plot twist or
something like that. It just it's fucking it stinks
with heart though. Like it stinks with heart.
You watch Happy Madison and you got this hockey player who's not

(01:19:44):
going to make it as a hockey player.
His grandma's about to lose his house, so he tries out golf and
golf doesn't accept him and you know, he's just this happy go
lucky. It stinks with heart after
grown-ups and grown-ups started the trend of it stinks with I
have to make money. Like I have to keep this money
train going. Let me throw in all these

(01:20:04):
fucking celebrities. Like back then, bro, you fucking
you got known that like in fucking grown-ups you started
getting Kevin James and fucking David Spade and Chris Rock and
all these fucking crazy fucking names and like who cannot throw
in here? Oh, for Happy Gilmore to look.
I'm say Billy Madison to again for fucking just because look.

(01:20:24):
It's coming. They're they're yeah, it's
coming. Billy Madison who's coming Big
daddy who's coming and guess what?
Fucking happy go more to Eminem Carl from shameless like who
fucking cares about these fucking.
People Carl from Shameless did not even take.
Like there was not even a line for him in that movie.
But it's, it's just, it's I throw these people in here
because they're big people, because I no longer have the

(01:20:45):
heart to carry a fucking, to carry a fucking movie.
Think about Big Daddy, man, Big Daddy, we're going to piss on
the fucking restaurant. Just it's it's not, it's not a
movie where you're going to be like, fuck, it's just a movie
that I don't know. It feels like if we were to make
a movie, that's what it would belike.
It just it has heart and shit init.

(01:21:05):
And now it's just like I have tothrow the biggest celebrities.
If I make a fucking who's popping off all this fucking
this Midget in Game of Thrones, Let's get him in the movie.
Let's get that guy. I bet he didn't even know his
name. He's like, we just got to get
him in the movie. It's no longer about the heart
that's in and it's about how many fucking big faces can I put
in here? And then also too, like you
can't even say it's dog shit because the people be like,

(01:21:28):
well, it's just meant to be fun.There are movies.
Look, I am the first one that'lltake a movie side and be like,
bro, if you just sit back, you have no expectations.
I had no expectations. I was like, this isn't this, I'm
just going to have fun. And 10 minutes in, I'm like,
this is dog shit. This is dog shit.
Just make, I don't know, or quit.

(01:21:49):
Just you don't have to like that's The thing is like you
don't have to. You're so fucking rich, bro.
I get it, make your bag whatever, but to just like chill
out heartless shit, because people will fucking buy it.
Cool, good job. I saw this, you know, clip of
you know, they were talking about how critics destroyed
grown-ups too. And he's like, you know, well,

(01:22:09):
my audience loved it and I had fun with my friend.
No, man, your audience, they want the shit that we saw back
in the day and we can't get that.
So we hang on to just a little bit of hope that Adam will be
able to piece together somethingdecent for one fucking time to
get that heart, to get that fucking that feel goodness that
we had back in the day. And then we just get shit served
with big name celebrities and that's fucking look, I'm gonna

(01:22:33):
read a piece of advice. I liked it.
All right. I will say that it was funny
that they put Post Malone in there and Post Malone like
literally had like, it's like hehe literally was just.
Put him in there to put him in there.
That's all he does is put him inthere to put him in there.
I assume when you walk up on a, you could, I mean, look at Adam
Sandler. Now I assume when you walk up to

(01:22:54):
an Adam Sandler. Saying that was the thing that I
was. Going to say let me finish it
because they don't know they don't understand what we're
about to touch on even though wethat's one thing is we won't
finish an idea, but because we're so gay you know what I'm
talking about and then like you'll start finishing mine and
then people will be like what were they what were they going
on about go right, but I guarantee you when you walk up

(01:23:14):
to an Adam Sandler there's no passion on there He's like we're
gonna do this scene and we're gonna get it to look how he just
like walks the light he's just like fucking I bet you there's.
Fun though. I bet you it is a fun.
I guarantee you it's not. I guarantee you it 6 like they
did not shoot that shit for long.
I guarantee you I of course on Saturdays, yeah, you're going to
have fun, but it's like hurry up, guys.
We need to we we get the scene shot when you get this done.

(01:23:35):
We need to get this done. Like it was very let's, you
know, point A to point B to Point C where, you know, normal,
you know, shows they got like the hanging out and the goofy
stuff. I guarantee you very few moments
of that happened. And if it did happen, it was
probably like, oh, we could likeget this out there for like
bonus shit. I.
Bet you it's AI, Bet you it's a good.
Time I don't, I bet he just he goes out there, he's very let's
get this shit done now we're back in the day.

(01:23:57):
I guarantee he was just like, you know, yeah, him and Farley's
on fucking set. Just like fucking goofing off.
So the thing that I will say though, is like what we need to
do is figure out he had like 3 different podcasts on there as
like when home dude was trying to promote the new mock or maxi
league or whatever for the the new Golf thing.

(01:24:19):
He had like 3 different podcastson there.
One was shit. I can't even remember the names
of the podcast, but like that's what we need to figure out is
how to get onto the next Adam Sandler movie.
So then people watch Mike and Dylan.
Hey, drama. Like we just got to have that
that person It's. Just a part of it's a part of me
that's like, you know, I don't know what it is about.

(01:24:40):
I haven't. Maybe I was a Japanese dude back
in the like. I I guarantee I was one of those
like Japanese guys like getting onto a Adam's.
It's essentially like getting onthe rogue and getting on to an
Adam Sandler movie. I guess now, because everybody
will watch it, which is crazy because there was not this hype
for any Hubie Halloween. All the past 10 fucking things
that have came out, even the good, like the the good acting

(01:25:02):
he did in the fucking pawn shop movie.
That was a great fucking movie. He did.
He knocked it out of the park with like his serious acting and
shit like that. But you know the fucking
cobblestone guy, the fuck like his past, there's been no hype.
And it's because he did a movie from back in the day that
everybody just like jumped up and was like, oh fucking can't
wait. And get this.
If he fucking and I'm nobody, I understand this.

(01:25:24):
I am a nobody. I am nothing in the eyes of
anything. I understand this
wholeheartedly. If I read a script like that, I
understand people are like, you can make billions.
I could have fucking. I could have made at the height
of like fucking making stupid Internet videos.
I could have fucking did a coin.I could have done anything to
make money off of. That was my sole goal.
If comedy was my sole goal, entertainment was my my sole

(01:25:48):
purpose was just to make a fucking quick dollar and get
out. I could have fucked a lot of
people over a long time ago and I just didn't do it because I
don't like there's there's something about doing it the
right way that I am almost 100% sure now that I'm going to die
before ever doing it the right way.
One time. I think I think this.
Is this is a purity test, thoughwith you is like with what Adam

(01:26:08):
Sandler made with this happy go more to like you have a certain
lens that you're looking at through and like for all intents
and purposes, it is just a feel good movie that he just put out
to like basically do a re rebranding of the original
movie. No, it's that.
This this movie came out becauseNetflix was like, we paid you a

(01:26:29):
billion fucking dollars. You give us something good.
And he was like, all right, look, I can go to I can go to
the fucking remake. Well, because I know nostalgia
will do it so I can make you money like that.
And it's dog shit. Look, I fucking I love Adam
Sandler. I'm not talking shit about
anybody who enjoyed it. I understand.
You can sit down. I'm saying I couldn't do it.
Yeah, because I see. Yeah, but I see the fucking the

(01:26:49):
they could have done. You could do, you can do.
You can do callbacks. You could do a Happy Gilmore 2
and like, put something behind it.
He does not care. Like he is like, I can throw
this together. I could put Eminem in it.
Shameless, Post Malone, all these fucking people.
The story does not have to. The story can be just absolute
ass and that's what I can give to you like then, because.

(01:27:11):
But no, no, Adam Sandler is not built off of the best stories.
Like that's what you've said, like from the beginning, it
you've got fucking the water boy, you've got Billy Madison,
you got Happy Gilmore, you got fucking Big Daddy.
None of them are the. Story not being good and then
you delve more into the acidry of look, That's what I'm saying

(01:27:34):
too. Even when you had like the video
game movies and all that stuff, they weren't great.
They weren't good, like good by any stretch of the imagination
like, but I still, I still watchthat.
And I was like, yeah, I'm probably, you know, not in the I
would never watch that. Like you said, I would never
watch it again. It's a good one time watch and
that's about it. But to take something like that,
that had so much heart and then like shit on it's fucking

(01:27:57):
memory. Like it, like you said, I could
turn on fucking Happy Gilmore. I could watch that once a year
and laugh just as hard as I fucking did and see all the
heart in it. And maybe I do need it.
I'll, I'll finish it. Look, I'll finish it on the next
podcast. I'll update.
Yeah, I'm not saying you're going to like change your
opinion in great detail. I think there were good moments
and then there were bad moments.It's it's is one of the average.

(01:28:19):
It's never going to go down in history as one of Adam Sandler's
best movies. Yeah, but that's what I'm
saying. It could have.
And the only reason it wasn't isbecause Netflix is like, we paid
you all this money you have not even you're not even in the
ballpark of making that back forus.
And we need something. We need something big.
So you could sign your next big fucking deal.
My. My most recent favorite Adam
Sandler movies are like the Hotel Transylvania ones.

(01:28:41):
I enjoy those. They're like, and it's not with
them acting, but it's still got,you know, Kevin James, David
Spade, like. Did he do the Hotel Transylvania
show? Yeah, that's all.
I never knew that. Adam Sandler, David's or Kevin
James, David Spade, like all thethe main people in his and I, I
think even Chris Rock, like I think all of them.
Completely blown away by that. Did not know that.
That's them. And so like, I mean, they're

(01:29:02):
just once again feel good movies.
Like, I mean, it's for kids, butthat's right.
And it's like, meh, I've never seen them, but they're good.
I mean, they're not good. They're just right.
Yeah, It's a kids. I just want my kids.
They just didn't get into that. I didn't know that.
That's that's adorable. Yeah, and, and those are like
some of my favorites, but like it's not about.
And maybe it is. Maybe it is like like I could

(01:29:22):
enjoy it as a but I'm just saying man, I watch big Daddy,
Billy Madison, Mr. Deeds, all that shit now and I still I'm
just like man, and it's look. Ah loved the Mortal Kombat movie
when I was a kid, Little Nikki. I just watched that like 2 weeks
ago. But the Mortal Kombat movie, I
loved that as a kid. I tried to watch it now.
I was like, oh God. Damn.

(01:29:44):
I think I made it like 40 minutes through and I was like,
nostalgia couldn't get me through that.
I could still watch those Adam Sandler movies just because,
like, there's AI. Don't like people saying like,
hey, you like this because you were a kid.
I like this because there's something to it that makes you
like it. Yeah, I watched Alf like I grew
up watching Alf. Alien life form the little, you
know, weird guy. I never watched that.
So that's my like my era of I was watching it on TV as it was

(01:30:08):
coming. Up.
You sounded so ancient bro. Yeah, I am ancient, but like it
was, it was great and I loved itand like I even like re fell in
love with it when I was a teenager because like I was
smoking weed in this barn and I I found like a Alf lunch.
And so like I re upped on my like, oh, this is fucking cool.
I love this. I remember this from when I was
a kid and and then when I was like probably in my early 20s,

(01:30:29):
one of my girlfriends like, oh, you like, oh, from here, I
bought you the DVDs and then I watched like 2 episodes and I
was like, fucking throw these out.
Like I don't want to ruin my nostalgia of how much I like
that show when I actually watch that show and it's fucking
garbage. I cannot sit through a fucking
episode of it. It's so dumb, but I don't want
to ruin it. Like, I like your Mortal Kombat.
Like it. I have the memories of how

(01:30:50):
awesome this was. They're completely make believe
because it was not awesome. I was just a kid.
It was awesome. But yeah, like with Adam
Sandler's movies, you can still look back on them if you like,
just stupid, silly humor and notreally, you know, concerned
about like, who is this story going to, like, you know, throw
me for a loop at the end. No, it's just a fucking cut and

(01:31:11):
dry, you know? Like flask like this just bro,
they're eating fuck you let it slide down your throat hole like
it's just I don't know. I always thought Popeye's
Chicken was made made-up becauseof that movie, because I've
never heard of it before. And then Popeye's Chicken is the
fucking chisnet. But yeah, I'd.
Love to say something real funny, but get Joey swelled on

(01:31:34):
here like I'm sorry guys, why are you apologizing?
Like you don't even make money off this shit.
I was just like, well, you know,at a time, there was a time when
I did make money off of it. And I don't know, I think I
hated created more than. You what?
I think I hated create creating content more than when I

(01:31:55):
actually made money off of it. Then when I was just like, I
don't even care anymore and there's just no money off of it.
I have decided guys, I'm going, I'm going back to work and maybe
that will bring back my love of I as soon as like it was like,
Hey, you have to do this to get paid this like you have to meet
all these parameters. I was like, fuck this shit.
Like it's not making jokes anymore.
Now it's dragging out a joke so you can make money from it.

(01:32:17):
Now it's, you know, doing this. And then once your whole life is
once your whole life is consumedby, and at this point, I feel
like the fucking monk that sets himself on fire where it's like,
right, you didn't have to do that.
Like nobody, nobody told you to do that.
And everybody's OK with you not doing that.
But like, I don't like to be like, Hey, we have to do this,

(01:32:39):
this, this and this. And that's how you make and
you're not going to get paid anyother way.
So you like conform to that. And then I conform to I'm like,
oh man, this is a really funny joke.
Well, we, we hope you can make that into a minute long thing,
because if you can't, then you're not going to make any
money off of it. And then you're like, well, you
know, I have made this like my, I was like, fuck that shit.
If I just, if I just go back to work, then it, I could just make

(01:33:01):
what I want to make. It's no longer make what they
want me to make. Well, and I think that's what we
found though with this is because like the podcast, we
aren't doing this because it's making a bunch like even though
I think it has the. Michael Hey, drama is
therapeutic for. Me.
But yeah, it's it's where we getto actually sit down and enjoy.

(01:33:21):
Anything, anything we want to talk about.
Like we talked about fucking, weargued about card games for 10
minutes and then we talked aboutand I don't know how watchable
this is to somebody else. Someone could be like I remember
that one fucking TikTok where everybody was talking about the
most exciting podcast ever and it was a joke because two guys
were talking like about a fucking toaster or something
like that, like parameters of a toaster.
They got into some shit like that and everybody was like

(01:33:42):
what? Riveting content guys, like
absolutely just mind blowing shit, but it does just feel, I
don't know, it just feels good to talk like it.
It feels good to I don't, I don't like to get into the
situations where I'm like, oh, like we got to bring on these
fucking guests and then, you know, we have to have moments
where I'm just like dying laughing and shit like that for
it to. No, I think it's the.

(01:34:03):
Get listeners and shit. It's the.
Genuineness of it, that is. What like, I mean, that's I, I
listen to podcasts in my normal day-to-day and it's the genuine
conversations. And even though a lot of the
ones that I listen to are learning based rather than
entertainment based, like it's still the conversation between
two people on an interesting topic.

(01:34:24):
It doesn't matter. Like it could be about video
games, it could be about, you know, health, it could be about
fucking movies, it could be about anything.
And as long as there's a interesting dialogue, a little
bit of like back and forth, that's what makes it interesting
for me to listen to hours while I'm driving or while I'm
exercising, while I'm walking. Like I'll, I'll listen to
podcasts through and through. And I honestly, I think that

(01:34:45):
that would be one thing that I would suggest for you is to just
put some of them on because it is.
I think I think you could tell the podcast where like I'm
enjoying myself versus the podcast.
I'm not enjoying like because they're it doesn't matter like
what you do like you have a podcast and when like when
something is like your financial.
Yeah. Like it's the like, it's like

(01:35:07):
how it like if you have to do it, if you're like, fuck this.
Like I don't, I don't want like,of course, if I could do what I
want to do and you know, make that, that's ultimately what I
want to do. But once we're like, well, well,
now, you know, you got to go over a minute or now you have to
do like this crazy fucking AI hook that just draws people's
that I'm like, I don't give a fuck about that.

(01:35:29):
I don't care about that. Like, I would much rather, you
know, make a just a corny ass joke that fucking that's the
like, that's where, you know, flowers fall started.
I was like, you know, even though I was talking shit about
like companies in the beginning,they were all like, they would
be like stupid jokes. And while I was doing that, I

(01:35:49):
was also doing the Waffle House videos where, you know, it was
like someone tried to talk back to you at a Waffle House.
One guy was like, you know, I asked for these sunny side up.
No Sunnyside up these eggs Sunnyside.
I was like, oh, no, you didn't bitch.
You asked for scrambled eggs. You asked me to put some extra
milk in those eggs, make them real fluffy.
You can't put milk and Sunnysideup eggs to make them fluffy.

(01:36:10):
Now, if you think, you know, I'mjust like, and the next time you
have a complaint, how about justtell me to come over here and
just go ahead and slap shit out of you because that's what I'm
going to do anyways. Like just like doing like goofy
stuff, which like people like they they yell in the comments.
They're like, Mike, you're gonnaget demonetized for this.
You saw that with the everybody.Mike wonders why he's
demonetized. And it's like the clip of me

(01:36:31):
just being like, yeah, I remember telling the guy telling
the guy that. Well, the listener doesn't.
That's the the telling the guy that he's like, you know, my job
sucks, what should I do? And I was like, you should take
a how many times are? You going to try and get us
demonetized with go? In there and commit a mass
atrocity and it's just like I'm just sitting there so

(01:36:52):
dumbfounded about it. Didn't get you the first time,
so you try to say it five more times so that we can get well.
That's that's one good notch on Spotify and podcasting,
podcasting in general is that I guess they just don't give a
fuck. Well, I think we're going to get
into some advice and now over anhour into this podcast, we're
going to be like, all right, well, let's do the advice part

(01:37:13):
of the podcast. Yeah, that's what we talk about
in the beginning and then we do an hour and a half long intro.
That's yeah, that's our intro guys.
Good God. All right, so the title is how
the fuck can your listeners givey'all money?
God damn it. The misquotes are horrible and
it's hot as shit. I love y'all's podcast, but you

(01:37:34):
don't have a space to contributemonetarily to the podcast.
Where do we need to send y'all money?
Well, we tried Patreon, but we have the Patreon.
We do not have access to the Patreon yet.
So thank God the minute that I got it to go live and like
publish the Patreon was the sameminute that they sent us an
e-mail saying sorry, your account has been disabled due to

(01:37:57):
suspicious activity. Which, you know, thank God like
1000 people didn't sign up. Well, I mean, imagine if that
was like a million people were or like 1,000,000, that's what
suspicious activity. And then once it clears, we're
just like, all right now we got tons of money and now we can
make the movies. That would be so great of a
problem to have. We can all dream my Lord.

(01:38:18):
This one says female guest. Hey there, y'all ever think of
having a female guest point of view?
I currently have no life but have lived a life.
First X in prison, second X was closeted.
Just saying. I think it would help a lot of
female listeners coming from Virginia Beach.
Let me know. Why would we want a woman's
point of view? Like, yeah, the fucking the

(01:38:41):
scenery is very nice while I look out of the kitchen window
doing them dishes not as fuck. Which butt I think, well, here's
the thing about guests too, is, is who the fuck?
Like who do? Who do we have on this podcast
where it's just like, I don't even know how you get a guest?
Well, I think that's the part that we need to figure out.
And it's still like in the learning phases is what we would

(01:39:05):
talk about if we were to have a guest, which it would just be
whatever topic they wanted to talk about.
I just realized that when I wentto get water, I forgot to to put
my arm slingy back on. And you didn't even give me any
shit for that in the first half.Oh yeah, so Dylan was jacking it
and. Lefty.
Lefty style and you know when you're doing it with the I'm a

(01:39:27):
let I am a left-handed individual.
So I have complete control mastery over that.
But if I try to do them all right, it would just be of like
a blind person trying to fuckingwrangle a stranger Yeah trying
to trying to wrangle an earthworm.
Let me let me get it a little bit more towards reality.
I was. Thinking more like slug.
So. Kind of very, very we.

(01:39:47):
Never even brought that up. Yeah, that.
Yeah, he heard his shoulder, so he's like trying to keep it in
place, but. It's like when I had my
fingernails all painted and I was like, hey, just bring it up
so that I can talk about it. And Mike's like, OK.
And then didn't bring it up at. All don't ask me to do anything
like don't be like, hey, Mike, during like, can you remember
this? Because no.

(01:40:08):
Well, I'm going to go into that.So I have a four year old and
she likes painting nails and we have these awesome like Disney
Princess fingernail Polish because my wife's like, I don't
want her using real nail Polish.It'll fuck up her nails, like
nail bed, blah, blah, blah. All this, you know, girl talk.
And I was like, OK, yeah, whatever, That's cool.
And then so she finally decided that my daughter can now use big

(01:40:28):
girl nail Polish. And so she borrowed some of her
sister's, like, gel nail Polish.Well, that is like the
antithesis of what we've been using.
We had the original kind that you could like, almost like peel
off or you wash your hands like,twice and it's off.
And this new stuff was like permanent, like as permanent,

(01:40:49):
like would have lasted weeks. And, and so like I'm sitting
there trying to wash all this stuff off.
Not that I I care about the fingernail Polish.
I really couldn't care less either which way.
But it's one of those things where like, if she wants to
paint my nails again, she's justgoing to paint more on top of
these nails. And then it's just going to look
like fucking God awful the more stacks.
I'm letting you explain, but I want to talk about something on

(01:41:11):
the previous thing we were talking about with the guests.
Where's that? Yeah, so like I we have now went
back from the hardcore gel nail Polish back to the peel off
kind. I bought some new stuff for us,
so you're probably going to see new ones on.
But it's it's the four year old wanting to paint my nails.
It's not me going through my goth phase again.

(01:41:32):
So Justin. Justin Danger Nunley.
He started a podcast. Oh, did he?
Yeah. I don't know the guy that he
started it with, probably. He's the guy that's real close
by here. He's like.
Just no, he's in Florida. Oh, OK, OK.
No, this is he's not. But I, I vividly remember them
just doing a podcast with the Undertaker or some shit and they

(01:41:53):
just started it and I was like, you fucking fuckers, like, wow.
Well, cuz they're doing guests and like that's you can get
guests. You could get guests.
I don't know how to get guests. How do I get guests?
Well, especially with the listenership that we already
have, like we could get guests, it would not be hard.
I don't know, I'd just rather say fuck Justin.
Like why? What come out the gates with

(01:42:14):
that? Like what are you trying to
entertain people? Trying to give the people what
they want? No man, like just make.
Them sit there how? The fuck do I e-mail somebody?
Just like, hey guys, why don't you come?
We'll pull up a a bucket, a cooler, a cooler you can come
sit on and yeah, we can bust outa fucking podcast.
I still think we should go for Post Malone.

(01:42:35):
It's so crazy that people even like because we argued for like
and 20 minutes on card games andpeople are just like I don't
even know what a fucking Yugi man is.
That's what I'm getting at. That's my point.
I don't know what a Yugi man is either.
And I'm like, I don't if I knew what are RNG and all this other

(01:42:57):
jargon meant, I might be like, oh, that sounds pretty
interesting. But as you're like, it's like a
brain surgeon being like, well, you cut the little nerve in a
bird and I'm like, before we getto another.
They're not the same. This isn't brain surgery.
It's fucking simple. None of these are like actual.
None of them are. They're not like actual advice.
It's just like, hey guys, start a Patreon.

(01:43:18):
Well, yeah, what was the one that I thought This one?
Yeah. There's one you can skip by.
I'll read it since you're just going to skip over our our dear
listeners submitting stuff. Family drama for MA.
ADHD is right there in the titleman.
I just kept seeing like Patreon and stuff like that and I'm just
like. Am I the asshole for keeping my
family at a distance? I-40 Male, married, married my

(01:43:40):
wife 37, female five years ago. I stayed mostly single for most
of my life and only had a few serious relationships
throughout. Since me and my wife have been
married there have been nothing but problems out of my family.
Everything we do is another reason to be mad at me.
The problems really started whenmy kids were born.
Both my kids are my world. They are both NICU babies and
are very lucky to be here. My family lives four hours from

(01:44:02):
me and will not come to me. They expect me to load my family
up and drive them if I'm going to see them.
I work in a steel mill and mostly work 60 hours or so and
so little time off. So the little time off I like to
be at home. I haven't cut them off
completely but I do keep them arm's length.
The drama is just not worth it. Talking does not help as my

(01:44:24):
mother just tells me that she thinks what she thinks I want to
hear in that moment and then reverts back to the same shit.
Just as an FYI, my mother and I used to be very close.
After I got married she became adifferent person.
My wife does try her best but she's not going to kiss anyone's
ass and I don't expect her to. Obviously a lot more I could go
into, but it's long already. Love the shows, Keep it up.

(01:44:46):
You're going to be big soon. I just know it.
I don't think there's really a lot to go on in there other than
like just, you know, families. They're shady.
Far away. Want me to travel to them?
Look, you, you don't. You're not obligated to anybody.
If you like it, if you enjoy working 60 hours and spend time
with your kids, race your life. Like and if they want to come
see you. Right.
Yeah, they can. They can pack, bro.

(01:45:07):
It sucks packing up kids. Packing up kids suck.
If you know you got a mom and dad that want to come see you
and they ain't got drive, drive your old asses up here.
Like especially if y'all are retired or whatever.
Just drive your old asses up here and see your grandkids.
You don't have to. You don't have to go down there
and fucking like load your kids up and fucking just do it.
Well, that's The thing is, like,I, I moved nine hours South of

(01:45:31):
where I grew up. And so like, I'm actually going
up next week for a high school reunion.
I literally went to school with these kids from the time I was
in preschool until I would have graduated with them.
But I left my senior year. And at first when I moved down
here, I was like, these fuckers.Like, they don't even, like,
care about me. Like, they don't even come down
to visit me. And then at some point in like

(01:45:53):
my 20s, I was like, wait a second, I don't go up and see
them, right? And I'm the one that like left.
So like if I really give a shit about going up and like spending
time with them, I go see them where they all still live.
And I left. So like I don't have to feel,
but I used to get like all of myfeelings like my Oh, my friends
don't give a shit. Look, all this shit is so hard
when I read all this advice because I'm just like, man, I'm

(01:46:13):
glad I don't like my family. Like I'm glad my family don't
like me. It's a beautiful relationship if
you think about it like it is a very, it's just a it's a
beautiful relationship that I honestly aspire for anyone else
because it's just it's especially if you came from a
toxic family to just be like, fuck yeah.
Like, well, I think The thing is, is like the people that

(01:46:35):
actually give a shit about you, like if there's family that
actually give a shit about you and try right, it's a totally
different. Thing like it works both ways
but if it if it's only a one waySt. and then you just you cut
that off man. It is a.
Yeah, like with these parents, like they're not willing to
travel 4 hours to see you, theirkid, and their grandkids,
whether they like your wife or not, like 4 hours is gonna

(01:46:58):
separate you. And whether you fucking take a
train, a car, a plane, whatever,like you're not gonna take that
travel, then why the fuck do youexpect me to?
Right, I don't know and. I think the next one is some
advice that you'd like to get into.
I wanna read it. Yeah, I wanna read this one.
All right. I'm sorry.
I just kept seeing. I'm like, listen, one is cool

(01:47:18):
because it's like a ha ha, we can do like a non non wink wink.
Well, these are the people that go check.
Out. Patreon.
They said all this stuff before we started all that.
Like the guy at the bottom was talking or one of them was
talking about how they wanted tobuy me a coffee because they'd
rather not do the reoccurring subscription thing.
They just want to, you know, send 10 bucks and call it a day.
Someone said not just not a story, just a suggestion.

(01:47:39):
Have you considered starting a cameo?
Cameo is the worst bro it is so bad.
Yeah, you take all that time to do all that and you get what,
like 2 bucks? Yeah, 3 bucks.
We got you a dollar. All right.
So different, different perspective on spouse versus
children debate. I've heard you guys mention on
the podcast that your number onepriority is your children.
While I don't disagree with that, also have a different

(01:48:00):
perspective. My children are a top priority
to me and my wife both, but we also put one another first.
I will be forever with my wife whereas my children will leave
home one day and require less care and attention as they start
families of their own. I love my kids more than
anything but feel that if my wife isn't getting the love and
attention she needs then my kidswill also be lacking that in
that area due to her feeling neglected.
Love the podcast and hope you guys are making it big.

(01:48:23):
I'm not saying neglect your wife.
No that's not. That's not what I am getting at
and I understand. Making sure your spouse is happy
and healthy is a good thing. In your household, there is only
a couple people who had no choice into being there.
OK, That you are now solely responsible for the are they

(01:48:43):
going to make this world a better place or are they just
going to be an absolute shit stain on society?
And that's your job. That is your responsibility.
When you have a kid, it doesn't matter.
I love my wife, she said. It's so lovely that we got this
relationship. It is your responsibility now to
be a father, to guide children into adulthood.
It's like it's they might not bewhat you want to do.

(01:49:05):
I have found joy in it. I have found fun in it, but it
is ultimately a responsibility. I think there's a lot of time in
the day where you can show your children love, show your wife
love. I'm not saying hey, like, you
know, because you love your children so much that I'm sorry,
wife you, you never get to see me or anything like that.

(01:49:27):
I'm not saying that, but I'm saying children in a house home
are the most important aspect ofthat household.
And it's always good to have conversations and keep up with
what they're doing and just, youknow, kind of have them at the
the forefront of decision makingand stuff like that.
Of course, you can still, you know, sit next to your wife,

(01:49:49):
rubber legs, make sure she's happy, talk to her, give her
love and attention. But y'all's goal as partners
should be how do we get these two kids into adulthood without
fucking them up? Yeah, and I, I think I'm like
right in the middle, like I'm I'd, I don't pick one or the
other. And I, I don't think anybody
really is. Nobody's saying like, you know,

(01:50:10):
my wife, fuck the kids and fuck the kids or like fuck my wife,
but I like I'll take care of these kids.
Like nobody's saying like, you know, to disregard anybody.
It's, it's all like, I mean it'scommunication.
Like we talk about all the time.It's communicating with your
wife so that she understands, like, what's going on, like why
you're doing what you're doing. Work, kids, her, like her

(01:50:31):
well-being. All this stuff is just talking.
But then, like with the kids, like, yeah, ultimately you chose
to bring them into this world. And I, I saw somebody had
commented, like, you know, nobody chose to be here.
Yeah, I get it. Like, all of us were kids once
and so we were. Yeah.
But you are choosing to pair up with somebody and be in that
relationship. And you do have to sacrifice the

(01:50:53):
here and now with your wife or your husband or whatever to
ensure that you're taking care of those kids.
And it's not like you have to like push them aside.
But yes, when it comes down to like if the kid needs time spent
with them or you need time spentwith them, the kid is going
through formative years and likeand milestones and all these
things and they need that support.

(01:51:13):
Like I guess the best way to putit and like side with you pretty
much on this is like if you takea newborn infant and neglect it,
but still give it food and water, it will die.
Whereas if you neglect your wifeor your husband for a couple
days, they'll be fine. And not to say that you neglect
either of them, but it without the human interaction, a child

(01:51:35):
will die. Whereas with adults.
I'm like, you want to make it through?
Toddlers love an open body of water.
They are magnetized. Anytime I read about and look,
this is not supposed to be funny.
It is a little bit funny how I word things.
But anytime like a toddler disappears from a house that
they always find it in the localbody of water.
It's just like a toddler. I don't know what it is, man.

(01:51:57):
It's like. Well, the puddles are pretty
strict around them. It's like nature or something,
like we're one with nature because as soon as a kid gets
out of the house and it's alwayslike a parent, they were like
looking at their phone or something.
They were like, I, I was just onFacebook for 5 minutes and I
looked up when really it's been like 55 minutes because toddlers
do not move that fast, bro. They do not move that fast.

(01:52:20):
Yeah. You've been on it for an hour
and a half just like in some kind of argument.
And you look up, you're like, Ohmy God, my toddlers don't gone.
It's just like as soon as they get away from their parent, it's
just like the like they hear this singing this siren, right?
Yeah. And then they fucking, they
start walking through the woods and they always find it, man.
They like they never just walk through just a patch of woods
and then they're just like foundin the woods.

(01:52:40):
That rarely ever happens. It's always body of water.
Well, my daughter, yesterday, wewere just hanging out and I
think I let my wife take a nap and she got to have the nap time
while I went and just kept the four year old entertained, which
I love to do. But yeah, we were just hanging
out and then she's like, I want to dip my feet in the water in

(01:53:01):
the bathtub. And ultimately she wanted to
take a bath without the cleaningpart, which is like exactly what
a kid wants to do. Like, they don't dislike baths.
They dislike the cleaning part of a bath.
They'll play in water all day long.
And so, like, all I had to do was we don't need a pool.
We don't need a fucking thing outside at all.
All I got to do is put 4 to 6 inches of water in a, in a

(01:53:22):
vessel of any sort. And she's like, whoo, party
time. Exactly.
Your point is like fucking magnets to play in with water.
But yeah, it's it's just funny because like, yeah, a kid is.
Susceptible, but there's like somuch.
There's like a food chain with that though, because you know,
toddlers will go right after thebody of water and then a pit
bull will go right after a toddler, like magnetized it.

(01:53:44):
Depends on how you raise them. Yeah, that's what they say.
That's what they say when it's all look, there was just one
that just happened and I was just like people, people post
the I don't know if you see you're not online a lot, but
like you'll get in the comment sections, say a black person
committed a crime. If you go in the comments
section, you'll see well, well, well, OK.

(01:54:06):
And that's like someone well, well, well, like, you know,
sarcastically, it's a black person committing a crime.
I'm not going to touch on that. OK.
What I am going to touch on is that's what I do when I see the
pit bulls at that. I'm just like, well, well,
didn't make it to not all pit bulls.
I think that's a appropriate place to use it, a funny place
to use it because listen, black people, white people, they do

(01:54:32):
terrible things, OK? Pitbulls always attack toddlers.
That's it. They always do it.
Well, this one was Pitbull boxer.
I'm sorry. Yeah, my wife wants to adopt A
dog now that Buddy's no longer with us.
And I'm like, I don't trust any like any dog.
Like if we got it as a puppy, but I don't want to go through

(01:54:53):
the puppy phase either. But like, I'm not just trusting
a random pound dog around my kid.
Like there's a reason why our old dog is not with us anymore.
And I'm not going to just bring a new dog into this scenario.
It's so weird to how people are just like, I'm going to trust
this animal that can up in one day just be like, you know what?
Chew my throat out. Right.
I'm just going to, I'm fucking angry.

(01:55:14):
And it'd be like, well, it's notthe, I mean, the toddler just
got into its line of eyesight ina weird way.
That's why the dog attacked. I'm like, it's not a fucking
bear. Like it's not a bear.
Like if you talked about a bear like that, of course I'm gonna
be like, well, you'd probably sneak up on a bear and then he'd
turn around and get startled. There's things you do with
these, you know, these fucking these pit bulls and there's ways

(01:55:35):
you train them not to kill. And I'm just like.
Well, why should I have to trainit not to kill?
Yeah, let's just not have it in the house.
Let's not look, I just, OK, I understand there are people out
there, they have a pit bull thatwould protect their kids.
OK, Until that. Yeah, until it gets old and it
doesn't understand that that's who they're protecting anymore.
And you know, it's in pain and shit like that, that you don't

(01:55:56):
know because a dog can't just belike, I'm in pain.
And once again, it's not just pit bulls.
Like this is like kind of like the political argument.
It's not just the right, it's not just the left.
It's literally for the most part, any dog that is big enough
can do this. It doesn't matter whether it's a
mutt. A fucking lab.
I mean, stereotypically it is pit bulls and rottweilers.

(01:56:17):
And yeah, because nobody trainedto.
Like kill little dogs when they attack somebody, it's just like,
yeah, I was able to kick that dog out.
A dog that's made a pure goddamnmuscle.
Yeah. It's like yeah this dog is 1 big
beef stick of just fucking look at this.
I like the dog because of its alligator shaped.
Hair. Just the jaw.
Muscles alone, like look, it looks like an alligator head and
then like it was attacking my baby.

(01:56:37):
I couldn't fucking unleash the alligator jaws that it had.
Oh my God damn kid. And I was like, well, just don't
get the ones that have the fucking alligator jaws, man.
You don't have to. Nobody's like, you know, be real
cool if we just had this fuckinglittle beast, this little bear,
like what if we had like a little bear, but it's not like
little enough where it's like not a it's still a problem.
If it got mad. I'm just like, no, I'm not going
to have anything in my householdthat if it if it gets angry, I

(01:57:01):
have a problem dealing with because I already got my wife.
That's enough controlling that when she's angry, God help me,
but just like a little muscular monster that's literally like.
Think about how I know you've talked about sometimes, like us
going over the line of where we're going to make people mad.
This Pitbull thing I think is like one of those things where
people are just like, man, not my Pitbull.
I don't give love and cuddle. It's not your Pitbull until it

(01:57:24):
eats you understand that Pit bulls, man, they anything is
good until it like fucking turn.It was like bro, I had the
perfect the perfect girl until Iwalked in one day and she was
getting gang bang by 4 guys. Listen, she could have been
great up until that point and something could have happened
here recently where you don't know she got into gang bangs and

(01:57:47):
then got gang bang by 4 guys. Cool.
But there's a point where she was great, all right, and then.
She's not. Gang bang by four guys.
There's a point where the pit bull's great, and then one day
your baby gets up and boots in on an injured nose that you
didn't know it had. There's a fucking infection in
your dog's nose and he just, youknow, takes a little.
Takes. We don't got to go in depth.
Little, little chompy chomp. And then it's a tragedy on the

(01:58:11):
on the news station where I haveto read and go.
It's always pit bulls. Well, well, well, All right,
guys, listen. If you would like to support the
podcast, you can check us out onPatreon.
Mike and Dylan, once again, if you join the Patreon, we're
going to send you an e-mail thattells you how to view the
videos. Because we are still not allowed
on our Patreon account because Patreon thinks we are

(01:58:33):
suspicious, but we'll still accept my still.
Take the money. Yeah, you can you.
Can still get memberships but y'all are suspicious.
Wonder if they'll pay us after this month is up even though we
weren't. I don't.
Know why this is fucking taking so long?
No, it's it's been 6 days now. I don't understand why, Listen,
somebody has to let like, what did you say?
You were seven people away from talking to the right person.

(01:58:54):
Somebody has to know somebody that can at least talk to five
other people to get us in touch with somebody from Patreon,
because this is fucking ridiculous.
But this has been a hell of an episode.
Listen, I hope you know more about card games, you understand
the dangers of pit bulls, and you kind of understand your
toddler's fascination with an open body of water.
But we will see you guys next time.
Later.

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Happy Gilmore 2 is TRASH & Pit Bulls Love Toddlers | MADHD EP42 |

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