I Did Something TERRIBLE! Confessions & Workplace Revenge Stories | MADHD Ep26 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Bear never bow down Mike and Dylan hate drama, but the Bow
Wow guys welcome back to Mike and Dylan hate drama where we
help people in life Oh yeah fuck, you forgot to do that
brother. We just ran through it.
We just, we help people in life,we help people get through the
the toughest moments of their life and that's beautiful.

(00:23):
And. Oprah Winfrey asked.
Except I would never ever give everybody free dolphins and
shit. You know, everybody had to pay
like a bunch of taxes on that. And so like it was kind of like,
here's this tax bill for you forlike a brand new car.
So it was. You get a car, you get a car,
you get a car. You get a tax, you just.
Get mouth herpes, you get mouth herpes.

(00:44):
You get mouth herpes, you get mouth herpes.
Who drank after Mike? Like so?
Yeah. So do we start off with the
blackface story? I think we should start off by
trying to convince a few other people to meet us at Denny's.
Oh yeah, yeah, we have. We have.
Denny's coming up, guys. It is this Sunday.

(01:05):
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, June 15th, which happens to be
Father's Day, when the people who watch in like 2026, it's
20/20/25. Yeah, When Mike first said it
out loud, I was like, I should probably check that date to see
whether it's like a Monday or a Thursday or whatever.
And then I was shipping out someLabor Llama stuff yesterday and
the lady was like, yeah, I want to make sure it's here for for

(01:27):
Father's Day. And then I looked up when
Father's Day was and I was like June 15th.
OK, this should make it there bythe time that they by the time
they get there. And then I was walking to the
post office to drop off the packages and I was like, wait,
June 15th, Father's Day? That's the day we're going to be
behind the Denny's. That is, we are going to be
behind a Denny 6:00 PM Eastern Standard Time and.

(01:49):
Thomasville, NC. We should have, we should have
took over unders to see who was going to be there because I'm
saying two people besides us. I'm saying two people, including
us. Well, no, if you bet on that,
that would be insider trade. I don't fucking know what they
call it. It just be you can do that is
cheating. You're cheating, brother.
God, do we stop? I don't know.

(02:10):
I kind of want to save the blackface story.
No, especially if like we use like part of the blackface story
for promotion. You know, people's going to be
coming here and be like, oh man,like we can ruin this guy's
line. There are some people like that.
Yeah, I mean, there's plenty of ammunition that people do in
your life. Yeah, there's way.
If you're just blackface is likea drop in the bucket on the

(02:32):
especially. Because of the circumstances
that you were in and all the other stuff.
Like once we get into it, they'll be like, oh, maybe he's
not the asshole. Maybe he's not the asshole Kane.
Maybe he tastefully did blackface.
No, that's not. Like what?
Under what? I'm sorry, I got like a booger
on my nose. Are you using anything?
I don't see nothing. As you always do.
That tickle yes bro, my face hair tickles my fucking nose.

(02:54):
I cannot stand it. I cannot stand people will be
like mine. Why do you?
Can trim your nose hairs with the.
Nose. No, and they're just in there.
Oh, that's a great idea. That's probably what it is.
Just like a super. Long I always just thought you
were doing a little bump in the bathroom before you restarted
people. Probably think that.
Probably like Mike's, like they're fucking geeking on you.
I'm like a nail I hate. You didn't give me the opening

(03:17):
though. You're like, welcome back to
Mike and Dylan. Hey, drama.
And you just went through it rather than doing your normal.
I think it's just, it's exciting.
You're excited about this episode?
Yeah, well, we had the other side debut on 2 Daddies
yesterday and then we have todaywith the blackface story.
And finishes out our five day marathon.

(03:38):
We have, we've had a lot of growth.
It's so tiring. Also, we do have to let them
know next week going forward we're only doing 2 episodes of
Mike and Dillahan drama, 2 episodes of Two Daddies, Judge
and Baddies because we're fucking tired brother.
We have to do everything around like we don't have a team.
Yeah, once we get together enough.
Technically we have like an antiteam.

(03:59):
We have a team that wants us to do less.
Yeah. It's like a duo that's like
actively prevent and always likeguys fucking stop.
So yeah, we have like an anti team.
So in order to I think to in order to like have a big stack
of advice, to have great storiesand to have, you know, the other

(04:19):
side on 2 daddies judging baddies, which by the way over
there we do not tell people that.
We didn't even mention that it was just made-up.
So some people are going to likeview that and they're like, she
sent in that story. She is, she is not.
I'll tell you what, I will not listen to a song from the Cuddle
Bus Squad. Not me.
I do not support the Cuddle Bus Squad and honestly I think they

(04:43):
should die. Those names that you came up
with, those like, where did you find these names?
Which ones? Cornelius and Magnus.
Look, that rich white people names.
Yeah. I was like, I can't think of
any. I was going to go with like
Gunther. I don't like Gunther.
I've never met a Gunther. I think I've met one I've never.
The only people I feel sorry about is like Keith's.

(05:04):
Well, every kid now is like Rylan Braylan Jalen.
Galen or and all the girls are Lee's with Leigh and which, you
know, southern people get the shit for that.
But northern people, they like fucking.
They name their kids like River honey.
Well. That's like the the bastions of

(05:27):
wokeness. Right, yeah, they fucking they
name their kids off of like off brand yogurt flavor names.
So all right, we're going to getinto some a bit of a vice versa.
I have decided in my brain whichone I want to do.
Make them wait, tantalize them. I want it hard and ready to go.
Listen, if you don't do a littlebit foreplay, you got to put in
a lot of work during the intercourse and I'm not that.

(05:49):
Listen, I can't be just like bouncing on it all.
Fucking look, you got to you guys got to hurry up and come.
All right, So the name is prickly Pear witch.
The title says I am an asshole and love it.
And it starts off with my friends called me one day
instead of dear Mike and Dylan. So I mean, we could tell you're

(06:11):
an asshole. We we already got that.
My friend called me one day complaining about a Co worker
and her supervisor. They work for a local
government. The new Co worker was, I was.
Just getting a drink, sorry. Were you dead ass?
I thought you were like off camera, like just like trying to
do a side of The Who. Happened in shaking my water
bottle you. Had a little bit of white stuff

(06:32):
all out of your nose. Mike the new the new Co worker
was a know it all type newbie. My friend made a complaint about
the newbie to her supervisor because the newbie didn't want
to pull her own weight. The supervisor acted like an ass
and yelled at me and my friend. My friend found out later that
her supervisor in the newbie were trying to get her fired.

(06:52):
Several days later the new Co worker sideswiped A bollard at
work. Bollard.
Yeah, bollards. What is that?
So it's like the, you know, the yellow painted things that keep
cars from running through or forklifts that work like.
The fuck out of a support meme at work.
Look rattle the green. I got a name from like forklift

(07:15):
content bro. You do not want me on one like
you do not. And I'm like trying to get shit
done and then like my whole. Body hurts because it don't
move. It don't you move like all that
vibration goes back through through your body.
I I remember one time this guy got on the lift and he didn't
have he wasn't supposed to be onthe lift and he as soon as he

(07:37):
got on, he said he was. I know I'm not supposed to be on
one. As he cranked it up and then ran
over a guy's foot. He didn't run over his foot.
He the forks were in a pallet and then the pallet ran over his
foot. Yeah, fucking like skin.
The top of his foot fucked him up.
I was just like, he even said it.
It was like great self-awareness, bud.
No. One time we had one of the, what

(07:58):
do you call it? It's the lifts that go like
really, really high scissor lift.
Not a scissor lift. Cherry picker, I guess.
So the ones that go like 60 feetin the air, I can't remember.
What they're fucking. That's crazy, but.
You don't like lift material? Yeah.
And so we got done working on one of the machines because we
had to get over in order to be able to work on it.
And so I, they're like, take this outside.

(08:19):
And I was like, OK, so I took itoutside and I was like 21 at the
time. So me being me, I was like, how
high does this thing go? So I I just put it straight up
and then took it all the way up and that wasn't bad.
It was a little scary once I gotto the top.
The hard part was when you go tolet go or to let it down, the
hydraulic starts. No, they just drop like a lot

(08:40):
faster at the top than they do at the bottom.
And so like it drops like a footwhen I just like tried to just
like start inching it down. It's like.
And then the whole thing's bouncing and you're just in the
fucking whole 60. Feet in the air.
And I was like, this is terrifying.
I'm never doing that again. My fat ass would have never been
like, let me see how high this guy had to.
I wouldn't want to get. I wouldn't want to like on it,
which I mean, look, it's good for someone as big as I am to be

(09:03):
afraid of heights because my fatass plummet.
And because fat people, they don't follow, they plummet.
My fat ass plummeting from 60 feet in the air.
That's they got a whole subspecies of animal.
But you got the cushion for the pushing when you hit the ground,
you're. Still an impact.
It's a impact like it's a. It's a there's a crater
afterwards. OK, so the newbie and supervisor
devised a plan to cover up the accident so they don't get in

(09:25):
trouble. They must be in cahoots.
Cahoots. They fucking.
So my friend got pictures of thehuge dents going back, going
down the back of the truck, and I sent an e-mail using a fake
e-mail account to a higher management claiming that I saw
the accident and that she appeared to be under the
influence. Oh fuck.
What kind of lifts this throw them at first I'm like if

(09:47):
they're trying to get you fired,OK, that one under the influence
and that's whoa, that's rough. The next week the newbie was
quitting and going back to her old job and the supervisor is
acting more anxious like he got into trouble.
We are now devising plans to keep the heat on the supervisor
as he as he pretends he is a copand does a lot of illegal stuff

(10:07):
under the color of the law. God damn the under the influence
though, that was like they. They probably were fucking.
That had to be fucking Yeah, that definitely fucking I.
Wasn't sure whether it was a guyand a girl, a girl and a guy,
like how the dynamics work, but yeah, if the supervisor's like
looking out for his new hire andthey're like in cahoots as they
said. Like I remember one time I was

(10:30):
working at this place all right,and this was a fast food
restaurant. So it's a different setting.
I'm very, I'm pretty young at the I don't like 1819 and the
like the cook manager guy, he he's showing me how to like do
the cook and shit like that. And he points over to the girl
at the drive through window and he's like, yeah, I'm fucking her

(10:52):
and like my wife don't know about he's like talking about it
all. I'm like bragging, bro, how old
are you? He's like 30.
She was like 17. Yeah.
No, you can't brag. You can't just play, bro.
I'm a child molester. Yeah.
OK, run. All right, so here's the next
one. Dear Mike and Dylan.

(11:12):
That's that's the one who cares.Yeah, that's someone who cares.
Dear Mike and Dylan, do y'all have any Thanksgiving Day fights
between family members that y'all have witnessed?
Mine was not really a fight, butmy neighbor who had dementia
used to say that George Bush wastrapped in her closet and was
somehow that was somehow a cave and was being held hostage by

(11:34):
gang bangers. I was taking her a plate of
Thanksgiving food when she told me that.
So not really a fight, but I thought it was crazy.
That's where he painted all those paintings.
That is in your what was it, an aunt?
No neighbor in your neighbor's closet cave.
That's where he started doing the paintings because he feels
bad about the dudes who died in Afghanistan.

(11:54):
That's where he was doing that at.
What? Look, when you come from like a
very, very, very poor family, weused to have Thanksgivings at my
grandma's house before she got roaches.
And there was, I don't know, poor families don't really
fight. Like, we aren't talking about
politics and shit like that. We understand.

(12:15):
Like, they don't give a fuck about us.
We could just kind of like, go about our day.
Do we roast the fuck out of eachother?
Yeah. So my sister, she's like 450
lbs. So that's where it starts.
Obviously you got to go with theobvious.
And she always dates real skinnydudes.
That's the only she's only ever been with just real skinny

(12:36):
dudes. Well, they're like a moth to a
flame. It is.
It's like a it's like a moth to a flame.
God, I don't know what it is. It's the skinniest dude you ever
like. The you would be worried about
how skinny these people. Are like they're malnourished
like, yeah, Are you sure? Like.
And it's just so we, we used to have the song called Fatty and
Skinny Sitting on the Moon. Fatty took Skinny and used them

(12:58):
as a spoon, bro. We said like that's all we would
sing on things. We were fucking.
We were terrible. She's like, my sister knows she
is a hard person to be around, hard person to be around.
I was about to like plunge in some real personal stuff, but I
was like, it's probably best youdon't, but I'm going to anyways.
So she is pregnant. Oh, she is.

(13:19):
Yeah, and she is just, man, theyhave never, they've never rented
a house for more than three months.
She has like one child's bro. She's always like trying to get
sympathy for. She's like, oh, well, the doctor
told me this and doctor told me this and the doctor told me this
and I just know she's going to have a baby.
And now I'm have to raise that motherfucker like I just or the

(13:39):
she's like the baby so sick and she's going to start getting
sympathy for that. Isn't Munchausen where they make
the kid? Yeah, she don't kill that baby
bro. Like I can't.
I don't I God, I just look, I have to love my family.
I don't like any of them. I don't like any of them.
Bro I literally had to turn off yesterday messenger

(14:00):
notifications for my brother asking for money.
Where? Were you going to get the money
from? I don't fucking know I got you
and he does not have bills bro. I have actual bills so.
And bro he'll send like 9 messages back to I wonder if I
because I'm pretty sure I deleted them after I cut the
fucking notification off. I just want to.

(14:21):
Me and my sister have went back and forth between like when she
was younger she loaned me some money for a car and then from
there on out like I had solid employment and everything so
then she started borrowing moneyfrom me.
I looked at his profile too, because normally when I tell him
no, he'll post some. You know, in this world, you

(14:41):
only got one person that you canrely on.
You stop asking me for money then.
If you can rely on you, obviously you can't.
Obviously you was letting you down.
Yeah. God damn, bro.
I cannot. I like my middle brother.
He is, we don't ever talk to me honestly, which is great.
It is a big step up. And when we talk to each other,
we like we should eat dinner sometime together and we never

(15:03):
do it, but it's it's that's a beautiful relationship.
I take that over the other two every fucking day of the week.
Cannot fucking stand it. No, me and my sister, like
we're, we're awesome. Like she's, she's an awesome
human. And it's just one of those
things, like, at a certain period in her life, she was kind
of getting dependent on me beingable to, like, give her some
money. And at a certain point, I was

(15:24):
just like, no, we're not doing this anymore.
But like, yeah, no, if my sisterwas here, we'd be hanging out
like Best. Friends.
No. My sister's the type of person
that will like call a different family member and then randomly
just tell them a lie about you. I don't know why someone is
compelled to do that type of shit, but just creates drama for
no reason. And I'm just like, listen, I

(15:44):
don't want to be in youngster drama.
I don't want to listen. There's nobody that because she
had said I said something mean about somebody like my aunt or
something like that, and I have to tell my aunt.
I was like, bitch, I don't thinkabout you enough to say
something mad. Like I just I don't fucking
care. But she's the type of person
that does that. So it was 1 Thanksgiving kind of
back on trying to do their question.

(16:04):
We always do get off in these. It's Mike and Dylan.
It's not your daddy's. We can get off in tangents, but
she had done something, man. And we were going in on her
going in because that's you got to do it.
You can't punch her. We wanted to punch her.
We can't punch her. And she was like, you got, she
got back-to-back roasted so God damn hard, like back-to-back.

(16:26):
So the first one was like, the only thing you'll have to say
about me is that I'm fat. And I was like, yeah, because
that's all we can see. You bitch.
You take up all the other fucking.
We can't look at nothing else because you're in the fucking
way. A little guy scan your body for
a fucking two years to find another detail about you.
So that was the first one. And then like start crying and
she will all she's the type thatsays I'm gonna kill myself.

(16:47):
So she was like, I'm gonna kill myself.
And my uncle was like, unless it's unless it's from eating
food. No, you ain't.
So bro, back-to-back just got destroyed.
Listen, being fat does not prevent you from getting picked
on from being like, you should never get bullied for being fat.

(17:08):
No one should walk up on you andbe like, hey, you are fat.
Look at your lardness. It disgusts me.
You repulsed me. That's fucked up.
If you are a shitty person and you say something to somebody,
bro, and they just start, all right, Lord ask God damn.
Look at them titties, boy. Yeah, a man ain't supposed to
have some titties on him. You got some double D's over
there. We used to give our friend

(17:29):
Turtle shit about that because he had like gynecomastia, but it
was also fat too, so it fit. But yeah, women titties and bro,
as soon as he would start talking, bro, that's the first
thing we start hitting on. You'd be sitting there talking
to girls and shit. I'd be like, turtle, lift up
your shirt, show you titties, you're great.
Just don't talk shit. If you talk shit, that's what

(17:49):
I'm saying. Just don't like, we're not going
to bully you just because like it's she's a Dick.
Like there's other people like my brother, he has a deformed
hand. We don't talk shit about his
deformed hand because he don't talk shit about people.
Yeah, like you, you get left outof it.
Don't start nothing. Won't be nothing.
Won't be nothing. Will we go there?
Fuck yeah we will go there. Like ain't nothing off limits

(18:10):
when it's shit talking. We try to hurt feelings around
here like we're trying to smite people with our words.
Yeah, that's what happened just before this podcast started.
That's why I'm behaving over here is because Mike smited me.
I. Had to.
I had to. I had to lay it down.
I lay down the law. Fuck, this one's all fucking
long as shit. Yeah, let me try to find a not
long one before I get into a long ass story about why I had

(18:32):
blackface on. All right, so they're numbered.
All right, cool. That one's a OK.
Now we got a bunch of new ones. I think that one's probably
going to be the. Is there any of that scary?
I'll tell you that. You was like man, I want to save
this one. No, OK.
All right, all right, so here itis.
The title is love Mike and Dylanshenanigan shit, all we do is

(18:53):
talk bro. We ain't out here doing like
Jackass stuff. I.
Have videos of me doing that but.
You got to put it on the Reddit.Hey, Mike and Dylan.
I like that. I like how they did that.
Put a bit of separation, little bit of separation.
They want to stroke your ego. They can stroke my ego.
That's the fastest way you want if you want to stroke something

(19:13):
else. Oh this is a woman too.
I apologize. I feel awkward like when I make
a real sexual joke and then it'slike a woman and I was like, I
seem like a predator. We just assumed this would be a
guy. I was like God damn blackface.
And he told one of his women followers she could stroke his
cock. They always make it sound way
worse too. Yeah, you alluded to it.

(19:34):
But they make right, they go, they keep.
Doing like the like the, the Hitler signs that people are
doing and it's like they look like waves and they're like he
just did it and it was like hailHitler.
And that's different. You pause it.
For a second if you pause it fora second.
I mean kind of though Elon I don't like yeah Elon's blah,
every politician like blah and he threw his hat in the palace

(19:55):
and guess what, you get hate toobitch.
I do want a self driving car though.
Yeah. I don't know if there's any
other because Tesla's the only one I hear about.
So they have like a really good marketing thing or they're just
killing everybody else. So technically I think it was
the Tesla. Mark Rober did a test on like
the different self driving cars and like how well they avoid

(20:15):
accidents and I think that one actually did the worst.
Allegedly we don't know statistics in front of us, so.
I'll watch the video. Again, right.
We'll update. Yeah, I don't want to get sued
by Elon who's telling me how to be an ammo focus for Africa.
They did like where there was like smoke in the way and then
they'd have like a mannequin there of like a child and just

(20:36):
drive straight as fast as they could to it and I believe.
Have you seen the video where the guy does the banana test
with the trunk? Oh yeah, he.
Sticks like a lot updated and hesticks his finger in and he's
up. No, that's great.
I love this. That's it's great.
My husband showed me one of yourtik toks and I couldn't get
enough. I searched high and low and then

(20:57):
found two daddies and you mentioned Mike and Dylan.
I love all your ramblings, tangents and stories.
Please read books if you ever run out of things to talk about.
Too Hot Takes really went left filled with some of their stuff
and other podcasts. Just want to put down some of my
life choices so it really makes me mad wondering why they can't
leave that stuff out. I love y'all's opinions LMAO so

(21:20):
much. Then she she's not caught up yet
she's not. Thanks for letting me.
Finally thanks for letting me find your podcast and listen to
it back-to-back. I drive about an hour away to
work and appreciate your banter.I wanted to stop this halfway
through and realize I should before you started to stop it.
I just wanted to stop it. As AUS postal carrier I

(21:43):
understand the hard working lifeand all weather and I'm happy
y'all have the courage to AKA take a chance with race my days
better. Thanks, Mike and Dylan.
Thanks, Mike and Dylan, keeping it real.
I called you Dylan. Dylan.
Dylan got Dylan. What would that make me?
Well, with Mike, it really wouldn't make.

(22:04):
You'd have to go with Michael. God damn, you have to fucking
put my whole name out there. People could have thought my
name was like Mycicle. That's the funniest look.
I didn't come up with that. That's the funniest goddamn
joke, Mycicle. God damn it, because MM get it.
You get it. You get it.
I explained it for some. Look, I love everybody, all

(22:25):
right? I understand there's some people
that's going to be watching thispodcast.
They're going to be like, I don't get it, Michael Mycicle,
like I don't. I didn't get it.
I'm sorry for your that whole reading.
I just did. Yeah.
You you doubled down. I doubled down.
It was funny as shit though. People are going to have a good
laugh out of that. Am I the asshole?

(22:45):
So I'm a musician. Well then it started off with
Dear Mike and Dylan, so. You are the asshole.
Going to be hard to pick your side bud.
Last night I played a gig and went over really well and we got
a lot of good feedback. Then when I was sitting at the
bar waiting on my food I had a couple women approached me and
asked me if I wanted to go play darts.
I'm married with kids and I don't know how to handle the
situation so I said sorry maybe later.

(23:07):
I'm waiting on my food and try to remove myself from the
situation without hurting anyone's feelings.
I hope I didn't think I was being mean, but at the same time
I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.
See, you know they make a lot ofare.
You gay is that I got to add homophobia to it now too.
You gay? There was two women, bro, you're
married with kids like that is nice.

(23:28):
That's a nice way of sending them away.
I'd be gone, which is. See.
That's the. Thing is like a Dame.
There's a whole bunch of, you know, like ways that women can
try to like shut down guys advances, but that's like the
disparity is like most of the time guys just freeze up.
Like oh shit, what do I do in this situation?
Cuz like, obviously he's a musician, he's been playing
shows. He hasn't ran into that

(23:49):
situation a lot and he's just like.
Wait. Waiting for my food, I'm hungry.
Like that's his best out, which I think you handled the
situation. Very well, not a great you're
you're married with a kid, you love your life, you don't want
to ruin it. That was a nice way.
Not everybody knows that somebody's married, OK?
Some people don't wear rings andshit like that.

(24:10):
Well, sometimes a ring is a magnet.
Right. So if you're wearing a ring,
honestly, you could be more meanthen.
But like girl, you don't get them lopsided titties on my God
damn face. I'm I'm waiting on some onion
rings right now. Bitch, they got onion ring,
onion ring, onion rings and somewings that I'm waiting on.
Come over here ain't even got anass like what the fuck am I

(24:31):
supposed to look at? Well, you, you want me to chill
my wife with a tube off? We'll get the fuck out of here.
Like you can be mean then, but no ring or you know, no ring or
you're like fucking they don't know whatever.
There's no real mean way to tellsomebody you're not interested
because fucking look, don't comeup to me just like still come up

(24:53):
to me. That's how that's my public
philosophy. Just don't come up to me.
I'll come up to you eventually. I'm like, you know me.
I'm like a I'm like a puppy. I get somewhere new, I'm kind of
scared, and then I realize everybody's OK and I start to
come out a little bit and then Istart saying racist shit and
everybody's like, God damn, Dylan, this is your friend.
No, I I didn't. Normally you don't say stuff
like that. That's why it's out of context,
really, what he's what he's saying right now.

(25:19):
Blackface. That, yeah, we're getting.
We're getting to it. God Bless America.
This next one says I want on your show.
This one I wasn't sure whether we'd read on the air or not.
I just wanted you to read. It I'm gonna read it.
But it was somebody asking to appear as one of our first
guests, which we should be looking into here in the future.

(25:42):
But currently, at this point in time, we're still just Mike and
Dylan. People, they'll be hitting us up
all the time too, but we gotta go and get some guests on when
we have money to pay guests you.Don't you don't pay them, but.
Why you don't pay guests? No God damn come on down Joe
Rogan. I get look, I've talked a lot of
shit about politician. I get one of y'all as long as
like you're a known 1 like you have a name.

(26:03):
Bring some clout. Yeah, I can't have like, a
fucking Virginia district. Yeah, 11th District.
Fucking no. I want somebody that someone
either loves or hates, because either way is good.
I'm gonna get eyeballs on it, you know what I'm saying?
Right before the OR, right afterthe the black.
Then they got the blackface episode to go by.
But yeah, they just saw. They were saying that we're

(26:24):
funny and they want to be on ourshow and that they'll even pay
us to be on the show. Damn.
I ain't never been paid for it, you know what I'm saying?
That's a new new tactic for podcast that's paid to be on the
show. Really.
Oh God, cuz I'll tell Joe. I got Joe like $25.
I said a little bit of mean things to him the other episode.
I got like $25, though. It was out of love.

(26:47):
It was just like saying hang, you know, I don't.
Think he said anything? To me, yeah, get back to the
stuff. Get back to the stuff people
love. You don't God damn relate to us
poor folk. That's what I'm saying.
But still, if we, if there's, wecould pay to be out because
that's it right there. That's just A1 pager.
That's a 2 pager that you pickedup and stuck.
So I OK, so this is a 2 pager together.
OK, so we're going to keep that together.

(27:08):
We're going to the long one last, but before we get into
this, we're going to get into the blackface.
All right, guys. So look, what's so funny is when
I posted those on Reddit, I sentit to Dylan just because I was
like, man, the fucking what I comment underneath was so funny
and Dylan was like, good, get ahead of it before it gets out

(27:29):
there. I was going to nobody fucking
cares. Like nobody fucking but Dylan
was just like, Oh yeah, that wasa good idea.
I'm like, get out, get ahead of it.
And then you control the story. And I was like, that's never
worked ever. That has never ever worked.
I I can't think of an instance where a guy just, like came out
with it. Like, imagine if Bill Cosby was
like, look, yeah, that's different.
That's different. All right.

(27:49):
That is different. All right.
Well, let me think of what's something online.
Justin Trudeau or somebody like,wasn't there a big politician
that did it? I don't know, I'm paying
attention to fucking people. There was one a couple years ago
that was like a politician that did blackface.
SNL did a skid on it, and they were like, oh, we need to know
if anybody else has done it. And everybody had done it during
Halloween. And he's like, yeah, but what if

(28:09):
we did it, like, as a costume? That's what they kept coming
back to, which I'll admit, very funny skit.
No, I don't know what politiciandid it, but they were probably
eating alive. Yeah.
They're like, listen, I am goingto come forward with this
information. I fucked up when I was younger.
And they were just like, you gotto die.

(28:29):
Well, that's the crazy thing is like, at what point do you
become like old enough and responsible enough to like have
to pay for those decisions? Because like you can fuck up as
a kid, you didn't hurt anybody. Like you didn't physically do
anything to anybody. It was, you know, maybe poor
taste, but at that time, like in, you know, era's gone back.

(28:50):
Like it wasn't as taboo. It's become extremely taboo, but
like my I had a. You die buddy.
Have you not paid attention to anybody that likes politics?
They're like no, I will not accept this.
I am morally superior to you. Then you would die.
So my buddy, he had a banjo, right?
He got it handed down to him from somebody family wise.

(29:10):
And on this banjo, it wasn't a black guy on the banjo, like
drawn with like pencil and stuff.
It was a white person in blackface on the banjo.
Like, because you can tell, likeit, you could tell that it was a
white person that they'd drawn on there and then in blackface,
like it was, it was wild. All right, listen, I'm like

(29:32):
listen, that's an old banjo. It was an old banjo.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's going on
here. It's like what nots man, They
make some what would make somebody draw that on a banjo?
But look at like when they when like they made fun of black
people by making like the black like, you know, black fucking
what? Not shit Knick knacks, whatever.
What the fuck do y'all think black people look like?

(29:53):
Did y'all not have like eyeballs?
That makes it feel like, you know, a person has seen a black
person and they didn't see a black person for a while, so
they just had that memory to go off of and then that's just how
they always kept it. Yeah, they just make
caricatures. Of it right, All right so we're
going to get into the blackface story OK guys.
And I think an apology is what they always start off with.

(30:15):
And we're not going to do that, all right?
We just, I'm just going to tell stories, kind of deal with it
because I'm not sorry about, I'mnot going to lie to anybody.
Just be like, wow, sorry, I did it.
I mean, I am learning and I'm reading books because that's the
last thing I'm the last thing I'm gonna learn is or the last
thing I'm gonna do is learn and read.
That's what they all say. They're like, I am learning.
I am talking with people in the community.

(30:35):
I ain't got no black friends right now.
All right? I've been elected for a while
and it's not, you know, teaming with black people.
So they're I'm not speaking to the community.
I'm not reading books. And I apologize for not
apologizing. OK, so now we can get into the
story. Now, you guys obviously know
about my stepfather and he had ahankering for drugs, which

(30:56):
created a tumultuous childhood. Like it was, it was very rough.
And watch them do all that Drugsjust made me want to do
blackface. But if I had like a PlayStation
or an Xbox, it was not safe. Like it was a ticking time bomb
of when I was going to lose that.
It sucks. OK.

(31:18):
But if there was one thing that was safe inside of the house, it
was my step dad's musket. Now they're going to be like
musket. What?
That's a that's an old type of gun.
That is an old type of gun because my stepfather was an
avid avid. I mean he was thick in the
sauce. Civil war re enactor bro, when

(31:39):
people say like my life a movie,my life is a movie except for it
was like directed by Adam Sandler and for some reason he
put Rob Schneider as the main character.
It's crazy. It's a different literally I I
was raised by a man who did drugs civil war re enacted.
But like I he was. It's always beautiful to see
someone have passion like it. It was beautiful like it when he

(32:02):
talked about it, he sees twinklein his eye like that was his
love. I wish it would have been us and
not doing drugs like if that wasthat would have been a great
thing to like love. But unfortunately that wasn't
it. Now he would pester pester me
about getting out there, man, getting out there with the boys.

(32:22):
Really, you know, he's like you shoot this musket a couple
times. You're going to love it, you're
going fucking you're going to love it and you're going to be
out there and you're going to belike, man, this is a this is a
good time when we learn about a lot, a lot about history, real
history. And I'm just like, I don't want
to, I'm good. So no, if a look, I play card

(32:42):
games. So I'm well aware of what LAR
Ping is at this point. Yeah, because like he explained
it to me and I was like, so it'slike LAR Ping.
He's like, who's LAR Ping? I was like, where are the guys
like dressed up? And he's like, no, this is
teaching people about history. I've been to 1 where he was like
doing it and I wasn't doing it and nobody explained any history

(33:05):
to me. It was just a bunch of guys that
got out there, you know, a bunchof shots were fired.
It got real dusty, people fell down and then it just ended.
I learned nothing. Honestly, I don't even know who
won. They didn't even have a victory
lap. I couldn't even tell who won
this battle. So I was like, really does sound
like Larping and I don't want todo it.
So we moved to Denton, where hisstepdad also does Civil War.

(33:30):
It was passed down. Really.
Yeah, does Civil War reenacting.And so now I got two people best
around me. And I was like, it'll never
happen. It'll a if I was, there was a
thing coming up for like a Greensboro 1, I think, or
something like that. And I was like, if I got caught
dead at a larping at a civil warreenactment, that's it.

(33:55):
I'm cooked like that's there's every R every bit of RI have in
high school done. So they they go to this thing
and my mom tells me about like how upset he was and that it was
just like, this could be like a good bonding experience for you.
I'm like, motherfucker, I am. I'm like 16 at this point.

(34:15):
It's I'm almost out. The time for bonding is gone.
Like I wanted to like look up tohim as a father when I was a
kid. Now it's we're past that point.
Like I would I would more so fight him than we bond as
family. So I remember she had that
conversation with me. OK, their thing, it wasn't in
Greensboro because it was like aweekend thing.

(34:36):
Monday I get into trouble at school, a lot of trouble.
I forget what I did. I think it was the IT was when I
hit a kid with the spine of a textbook because I got charged
too. So I had got charged.
So I was going to court and thenI had been suspended for 10
days. And I don't know how I worded it

(34:57):
when I got home, but I was like,bro, like I told people about
the paddle. He had holes drilled in that man
would he would beat the shit outof you.
So I was just like, he's going to be real angry.
I ain't got whooping in a minute.
I was, I was like, I think, I think he's like starting to get
scared of me. You know, I don't want to make
anybody especially that's a weird home life, you know what
I'm saying? So I was like, fuck, man, I
don't want him to like, you know, I don't get beat with a

(35:18):
fucking paddle or nothing like that.
So, and when I say paddle, like people think like a paddle, It
was more like a it was like thisthick, that thick and it had
holes drilled in. It was like he just, he just
bumped you with wood all over your body.
Fucking sucked. And if he was like, that sounds
like child, it was, it was childabuse.
You ain't got to you ain't got to word it differently.
But I was like, I need to get out of that.

(35:39):
And I was like, so the school had not called mom yet.
So I'm just sitting there and I'm like, man, you know, I think
I, I think I do need a bond withthem.
And I think that would be a goodlike experience.
So to to really get out there and you know, me and him, you
know, in war together, like, howis that not beautiful?

(36:03):
Like, right, like you. That's a bonding experience.
And avoid the beating. Come back with brothers.
That's right. Avoid.
That's what mainly what I wantedto do.
So like she calls him and lets him know and you know, he's like
real excited. So by the time he gets home,
I've been suspended. I'm going to court and she's
explaining this to him and I cansee him getting angry and I'm

(36:24):
just like, man, I'm so mad at myself, man.
I'm so angry at myself that because now you're never going
to let me go with you. And I, I really, I wanted to go
out there and, you know, shoot the muskets and see what it was
like. And he was like I said, well,
what did the boy do to you? And that's never been a
question. So I was like, oh, fuck, we're
getting somewhere. Oh fuck.
So I was like, well, you know, he was, he was a me.
I forgot what happened. I, I understand like what

(36:47):
happened post fight, but I forget what happened beforehand.
The kid like he's like now, I guarantee you I could look up
Davis County Jail. He's in there and he's always
getting arrested for meth and stuff like popped up on the news
and but it's not like one of those guys where you're like, I
would never expect. It was like fucking and again,
God damn, bud. But he had done something.

(37:08):
I forgot what happened. So he's just like, I explained
what was going on and he's like,well, look, he was like, well,
as long as you don't do it again.
I was like, yeah, sure. I won't hit somebody in the
fucking face with a textbook again.
So I won't do that. Agreed.
And he was like, yeah, and you'll, you'll come out with me.
It was like two or three weeks later and it was, it was in the

(37:32):
Mount. It was in Mount Airy.
And I was like, fuck, because it's cold outside too.
So I got a winter camp. It's not winter, it's like
October, but it's cold. So I was like, I got a winter
camp and Civil War enact at the same time.
So I have no clue. Like I said, I watched him do it
in Greensboro. That whole event was us driving

(37:52):
up there. There was a crowd of people.
We just kind of stood there halfassed watching them because I
can't see them anywhere. I can't fucking see anybody.
They all look the same. Yeah, they all look the same.
And leaving. So I'm like, I don't know how
this is going to go. I'm nervous because I'm I'm
like, I'm get out there is like,I don't know what's going to
happen. So Fast forward to the next
week. I know I said it's two weeks

(38:13):
later, all right, but honestly, I should just got beat, bro.
The punishment would have been much quicker.
It would have been much quicker.So we Fast forward a week and
he's like, come with me. I want you to do something with
me. All right, All right, sure.
So we leave and we go to this guy's house and I meet this guy
who looked like he was in civil war.
Honestly, like he did, he would look like a civil war guy.

(38:33):
Like if he would have been like,I was pretty stupid when I was
16 too. So if he'd have been like, yeah,
this man fought and said, well, I could have half ass believed
it, but they had some clothes out there and I was like, I want
to try it on. And I'm, you know, I'm a bit
pudgy. Clothes are kind of tight.
It's somebody else's. I'm using somebody else's.
I look really, really stupid outthere.

(38:55):
I think the stupidest part is I'm wearing tennis shoes also in
the pictures, you can't see it because the pants legs are
covering up, which was just a pain the whole weekend.
But I get the, I get the like the uniform on and I'm like,
man, you know, I look civil war,civil war.
And then they bring out a musketand I was like, OK, oh, we're

(39:15):
going to shoot it like that. Was that sound kind of fun?
Nope, Nope. Some other people came out and
we were doing because apparently, and I don't know if
this really happened, so I can't, I can't really think of
how the Civil War army acted. I don't think it was like really
in unison because when you read about it like they were the

(39:37):
something, something North Carolina Battalion.
So I assume there was just like a lot of people coming together
and was like, we just kind of doour own thing and go out there
and kind of fight. But no, we were going to do some
marches and some gun stuff, learning it.
Yeah. So there's another guy out there
that's like my age, which is offof his profiles where I found
the pictures. And I thought like, this is a

(39:59):
dead memory, bro. And I was just like, I didn't
remember that. I was like, oh, that did happen.
Which could have never been found out except for I was like,
MAGA folks, he's already. Because it's so fucking funny.
Because if I, if I tell all these stories that I'm like,
yeah, when I fucking did a CivilWar reenactment with my, they're
going to be like Mike. I mean, come on, bro, Sometimes
Mike, I give you all proof that he was there.

(40:21):
If I have proof, you all know me, I'll fucking name drop.
I'll name drop first and last names.
So we do our marches and stuff. Everybody's acting civil like
they're taking it very seriously.
Even this young guy. Yeah, yeah, but he was for some
reason like AI guess he'd been doing it for a while and he was
young and bro, they they talked about him like he was a prodigy.

(40:42):
Like he was like, yeah, he's going to be the guy.
I was like he's going to be the guy in like a make believe thing
that we're doing. He's just like he just really
knows what he's doing all the stuff.
And what's crazy is like there'sanother kid next to me.
They're really good at getting their kids to do it because it
was all there was No, there was no kids from outside families
there. It was just like you had to be
like related to the person or step.

(41:05):
Like you're going to get indoctrinated and like, this is
just normal. We just go out and do this.
This is fun, isn't it? But the kid next to me was just
like, yeah, like he was talking about him.
Like, bro, just, like, eats up pussy.
He's just like the short little fat kid and just, like, walking
around, act like a general, likethe other kid is in awe of this.
He's like, yeah, I want to like,like, what do I got to do to
really learn? And I'm like, honestly, like if

(41:29):
I died of a brain aneurysm rightnow, it'd be cool.
Like I fooled right off life right now.
Like I'm done at this point. I was like, I'm done.
That's why no one ever has to worry about me committing
suicide. I've been through way worse
shit. Like there's nothing that can
like 2020 was nothing to me, bro.
I was like, wow, this is. So back to the how you got into.
We're continuing. It's so hard.

(41:50):
OK, so we get done with that andit is time for the re enactment.
Now he drives up to Mount Airy while I'm at school.
This is I had gotten informationI did not know what's happening,
which put me in the car with another of the re enactors whom
I have never met who was AI mean?

(42:11):
This guy was like old. He had like half, half of a
fucking Gray ponytail in this. Like I was like, what?
No, you know, my stepdaddy, you're just trying to molest me
like this. He did not send you.
That's like, there's no way possible.
And he was like, yeah, he said, I mean, we're going up to a
name. I was like, oh shit.
So I get in the car with this man for the most awkward drive

(42:34):
ever because he has a cassette tape on this cassette.
It has like 2 songs. I shit you fucking not.
Has like 2 songs. And then it has recordings of
his wife's voice. That's weird.
Yeah, and it's like just him like saying her saying stuff and
then like he would just like play it over.
And then we talked some if you were like, well, Mike, why
didn't you ask about? No, like I'm not I'm not going

(42:56):
to fucking carry on this conversation any more than it
needs to be. I'm not going to I'm not going
to be like, is is she dead? Because if you're playing,
you're not over it and I'm not. We're not going to get into the
we're not going to open up that can of worms.
Now. It's only like an hour and a
half to Mount Airy. What?
Was she talking about like? It was like a fucking like a
voicemail type thing. Hi, like A and she's just like

(43:16):
talking about random stuff. Honestly, I felt hot.
Like my whole body felt hot. I didn't want to be in that
truck at all. Like I was still half convinced
I was getting molested. Like I was like, this is going
to happen. It's going to take a little side
trip right before we get there and say, bitch, I don't know
anybody got task tapped. You look just like my wife.
I'm like, man, she's like, yeah,she was very ugly.

(43:38):
It was very, it was fucking nerve wracking.
So we get there, bro. It was just, this is a traumatic
memory for me. This whole thing I hated so much
and I just felt hot the whole time in October.
So we get there, everybody has these white tents set up with
like sticks. It's like it looked like Civil
War time and everybody's walkingaround in Civil War clothes.

(43:59):
And I'm like, wait a minute, what's?
So this is like they have a weekend thing where it's not a
battle. They have a weekend thing where
people just come and they walk through and you're just there in
Civil War attire. In your camp, you camped there.
Yep, you camped there and it's it's fucking freezing.

(44:20):
That wool does nothing to keep you warm.
It's all like itchy warm or itchy woolshit.
It's fucking terrible. So not only do I have to partake
in the battles, but now I have to partake in the larping that
just goes on around. So you have to pretend you're in
that that era. Era, yes.
So I was like, ah, but at this point I'm like, I just should

(44:43):
have been beat. You should have done that like a
pirate. I could have been beat to death,
like we could have avoided all this.
So it's starting to like settle into the night time.
What's cool is not a lot of people came.
This is like the just why everybody was getting there.
So it's kind of like evening andshit too.
So it's the next day. Now there's like people walking

(45:07):
through. It's real.
I just skipped the biggest part of this whole fucking story.
So that night we're going to shoot to that night.
I'm going to let you guys know something about a Civil War
enactment. Not a lot of black people.
Not not a single one. I didn't see a single one.
Now there's going to be Civil War enactors, obviously, who
come out of the woodwork that are saying that we have them.

(45:28):
And I know this because I don't know how the topic of a black
guy got brought up because they were like, we were, we were
fighting for black people. And there was like, yeah, you
know, we get black people over here all the time.
I I swear to God, they started talking about this one black guy
like he was Bigfoot. They was like, yeah, man.
I said, you know, the one black guy, he was like, yeah, the tall
skinny was like, oh, man, I saw her.

(45:49):
I saw him over Miss Miss Susie'slittle thing with the dresses.
I think he was buying something for, for his wife or his
daughter. I don't know, because I've never
spoke to him what he's got. But he was over there in the
dresses. One guy like I swear to God, I
was about to use a pour pot. He walked right out.
Did like that to me. I seen him.
I was right there face to face. Start talking about start
talking about him like Bigfoot. So we shoot the next day.

(46:10):
This is where Mikey fucks up. So because I only only did it on
on the Saturday 1. I don't fucking know.
Maybe the battle was on one day.I don't think it was too bad.
I don't think we did back-to-back battles.
Yeah, honestly, my brain probably popped just has blocked
most of this out except for likethe obviously the horrible shit.
I got to start hashing through these memories when I find these

(46:30):
pictures too. So the battles happening or the
battles about to happen, and he's like going over the speech
of why we're in the Civil War. Yeah.
And like, I'm just like confusedabout it.
And I was I don't know why I brought up about slavery, but he

(46:52):
was like who he told he talked to me in like a coach Carter
giving 1/2 time speech type way.Getting you ramped up, yeah.
He was like, we were out here fighting the good fight for but
there was black people fighting in the in the Civil War.
Do you think that they would have wanted to fight if we were
against them? No, No, they are.
They are. We were brothers out there.

(47:14):
We were brothers. And just because there's not a
black guy out here doesn't mean that they weren't here.
And he was like, honestly, sometimes what we'll do is we'll
get, you know, people that you could play a black guy.
It's history. It was hit.
They literally fought for history.
And I was like, how do you play a black guy?
And he was like, oh, do you wantto?
I never know. I was like, how do you play a
black guy? I was just like, how does that

(47:36):
work? And that's how you got into.
That's how I got into it. So that's when they, I don't
know if it was the gunpowder or dirt or what the fuck is on my
face, but you could tell there'sa lot of it.
And he was like, you just put iton your face and and that's how
you do it and it's history. And then I proceeded to just
stand there. I have not agreed or denied to
this while a bunch of grown ass men are just smiling at me like

(47:57):
go home brother. This is your time, man.
Like you not only get to partakein history, but you get to be
black. Like this is a a wonderful
moment. So I fucking did it Was Mike out
there just like shit, Hell yeah.No, I was not.
I was not out there doing no voices or nothing.
Honestly, I enjoy being black. Nobody could really tell who I

(48:19):
was. Like man, like if something I'm
in Mount Airy, you know, an hourand a half I was like, but if it
happens, I'm done. Also, I went to a school and I
still had a lot of friends from like High Point when I went to a
school in High Point, this before I went to, you know, the
two other schools in Trinity. So I was just like, I'm cooked
if anybody sees me out here so honestly.
Can I ask a? Clarifying Black people help me

(48:40):
out that day. Can I ask a clarifying question?
Yep. Is that the same group of people
that was like part of the KKK and everything?
The stepdad? Yes, the stepdad's father.
So like these people that are talking about like they fought
alongside us, we were brothers, like and he's.
There. Yeah, yeah.
Wait, he might not have been there for this one.
Yeah, I think he was at the one where I was just like.

(49:02):
And still they're telling that narrative to themselves that
like, this isn't. This is a good man, like the
black they we were out there andwe were probably we were singing
songs and whooping the endorse ass and bro, they'd be like and
honestly, So what happened? We didn't even really lose.
If you want to be real, like we have to go out there and we have
to portray it historically because of the venue.

(49:23):
But honestly, like they just gotI, I don't know if they said
they got General Lee and they got General Lee drunk or was
like a poker game someone was talking about.
It was like a poker game that had happened.
And he just gave us like. Bro I would rather die than be
like, yeah man I lost. Like I stopped fighting for what
I believed in because of a pokergame.
But just say he lost like that'sthe easiest.

(49:43):
He put all the chips out there, he said.
I'm just saying though, they do say the South price again, if
there's a civil war Part 2, theygot a lot of people practicing
right now like that. They are.
I mean, it's still not. It's not the where you because
we all had a line up and that was a problem because I kept
shooting in people's ears. So I'm a rookie out there, all
right. It's like it's like LeBron
James. It's like Lebronie, OK, he put

(50:04):
them out there too quickly. Obviously I'm not ready for the
big leagues. All right, I should have started
off with a different kind of war.
Maybe like the fucking Revolutionary War Start me off
there before you transition me to like the big the big leagues,
all right, because I'm fucking up.
I'm shooting in people's ears and shit like that.
I'm dying when I don't like, I just see people drop dead.
I'm like, OK, I can just yeah, yeah, I can just die.

(50:26):
And then, like a guy would come,he'd be like, come on, brother.
And I'm like, how am I alive again?
Like he's just like, come on, brother.
I'm like, I'm dead. Like it's, that's not, it's not
Call of Duty, you know, I'm. Just I'm going to take a nap.
It's real loud, but I'm going totry and catch some ZS here.
And there's, there's one good, Iknow there's one good clear one
that's like a front on shot of my face.
I cannot find it. I want it so bad because it was

(50:47):
like I relived all that stuff the night I posted on Reddit and
I was like man, I just. What made you go looking for it
for this episode? Or so I had looked up my step.
I had used Facebook. Well, Facebook now has this
feature where it'll show you shit he's tagged in.
So the people he civil wars withtagged him in a whole bunch of

(51:09):
shit. And one was very old and I was
like ain't no fucking way. I was like ain't no fucking way.
And sure as shit like cuz I was like, man, hey, everybody else
had like you could tell from thepicture like everybody else had
like the from the hats and everything.
Yeah, they were they were like decked out and I obviously got

(51:31):
hand me downs like that just gotlike the pieces that like people
had. That was extra because once
again, I don't know if I showed you one the one where you I have
more photos of them. Yeah, I have more photos of it,
but it just gets more blurry like I'm Bigfoot.
People keep posting on that, which is good, but see my hat
compared to everybody just like a Yeah, but it's just like a

(51:55):
just like a floppy fucking thingright there.
I have the picture on here of myfeet.
Like I said I wanted to find thethe really clear one, but I know
that was done by a person who actually like takes pictures for
them at the Yeah, this was this was a person who just like he
had his girlfriend out there taking pictures for him.
She goes out to the yeah and I'mjust like that's a teach their

(52:18):
own look they'll be together forever.
Can't tell me otherwise. Where's the good photo of OK,
here you see me That's right there before I fucked up before
we fucked up and brought it up blackface Yeah, before.
So for one, don't don't try to cancel me telling me I don't
know what it's like to be black in America.

(52:38):
OK, cuz I was black in America during the worst time
periodically it was to be black in America.
What do you know about that? Well, no.
They were you. They were brothers.
But do you see how my pants legscover the shoes?
Yeah. It's because they're just like
fucking New Balance or somethinglike that.
Which look, I felt also really embarrassed when people would,

(52:59):
like, come up. Oh wait, does they have the kid
who was like, really into it? Fuck I would show some of these
but like it. Yeah, we're not.
We're not giving people. Yeah.
And then docks his people, which, you know, they fought
along, they fought alongside, they were black people, were
their brothers. But they didn't do blackface.
That's right, they're not as. There was only one, there was

(53:21):
only one man there with the courage to relive history and
that was that unfortunate personhad to be me.
So that's the one. He was like the he's looking at
me making like jokes because I can't stop making jokes.
That kid right next to me was really cool.
The one in front of me, he was fucking in it, bro.
Like he was locked in. You couldn't tell him that we

(53:43):
weren't in the Killing Yankees. In the documentary that comes
out about this, they're going tosay that that was Mike's idea
and. He right.
Yeah. This is our Horror Story of how
one boy turned a day of harmlessCivil War reenacting into a
night of terror. And it's like surviving, Mike.
It's just like he was out there.He's like, I want to be black.

(54:05):
I want to have like hidden videos of like, people shaking
in their tents. He's like, I'm a black man.
It's like just like I'm saying the most hard stereotypical shit
stuff. God.
But yeah, essentially that was the story of God.
It was so embarrassing back then.
And I, I almost died laughing when I was like trying to

(54:29):
explain it. I tried to explain it to my
daughter. Yeah.
And she's like, So what happened?
And she's like trying to understand.
She's like, there's people that do that.
I was like, yeah, there's peoplethat.
That still happened. Like, I mean, they still do it
to this day, don't they? Yeah, cosplaying is real popular
now. I assume they just fit right in.
Yeah, I don't think back then when you did it.
I mean, it's kind of like outcast stuff, but now it's just
it's accepted, it's fucked. And the craziest part, bro, is

(54:51):
people like when we got done, people were like, you showed a
lot of courage out there, brother, like, and they fucking
meant it. And I'm like, it's not real.
No, this is real. What the fuck is happening?
It is a it hurts your fucking brain, bro.
Like it hurts your brain how they speak out there.
Because it's like I go out here and I risk my life every
weekend, Susan, like you're telling me, why am I gone?

(55:13):
Leaving you with four kids? I have to go out there, all
right? This, this.
Sometimes they flip flop, though.
Sometimes they play those Northerners.
What? Sometimes some some wouldn't do
it because they would never playas a damn Yankee, but some did
do it. He's like, this week, I'm going
out there, OK? I'm defending the South's here.
I'm defending MyHeritage, darling.
And, and if you can't, if you can't just if you can't be OK

(55:34):
with that, maybe I chose the wrong one, right?
It was fucking, it's like the goddamn Twilight Zone.
I was just like, bro, that's a just, it's like superheroes,
man. You don't know you.
You just walking down the road. You don't know who that guy.
You don't know if that guy's just out there laying down his
life. Every weekend.
Every weekend with a little, they put little gold caps on,

(55:56):
put a little gunpowder in there and then pop and it makes pop.
There's a bunch of there's a bunch of smoke, man.
You know how much courage it takes to do that?
Literally people would fucking they would talk like that, like
that kid, he was like a fucking prodigy, man.
He was really good. He was like the best.
Like he was going to be better than I was.
Like, how do you, how do you pretend better than somebody
else? I don't understand how this is

(56:16):
like he's pretending real good. Like imagine I'm watching my
daughter like, you know, play with some toys, all right, and
fucking superheroes, Batman. I'm like, look how good she's
playing pretend, man. She's going to be better at
playing pretend than any other person ever that ever existed.
Right there, right there. And I'm sorry, look, I'm
Southern too, and I'm doing a Southern accent.
That's all that was out there. I'm sorry, guys.

(56:39):
I'm not saying the whole S is just Civil War enacting people,
OK? See, I think up north they did
more of the Revolutionary War reenactments.
That's a good. That's one I can get behind
though. I can get behind that.
Yeah, there's freedom. I'm not going to.
I'm not talking about like reenacting.
I would never want to do that. I don't want to reenact a war.

(56:59):
Also, they won that too. Well, isn't the wild thing
though that like, you know, other than the Revolutionary War
and Civil War, it's not like they're like.
Yeah, let's reenact World War 3.There's like a, call it an air

(57:19):
strike. And it's just like, it's just,
he's like fucking flat over the field like a goddamn fucking
airplane. Have like a cardboard like.
You guys are dead. You guys over there are dead.
An airplane bomber. Just like God damn.
Well, you can like shoot like a Roman can.
Roman candles. Yeah, he could.

(57:40):
He could be running. Everybody in 60 feet is dead,
brother. It was.
I went through some shit when I was a kid, man.
Yeah, I never thought we were going to cover a blackface story
on this this. It happens man, it happens.
Sometimes you try to get out of a whooping and connect with your
stepdad and you end up doing blackface.

(58:02):
But God Bless America, how deep are we in this?
I don't know, probably 45. Minutes that was I think that
was a fucking that was a great one.
We got to come up with some kindof call back to that now.
Everybody within 16 years there.God damn, that was that was
good. We're going to get to the next

(58:23):
bit of I laughed too hard on that.
Felt like I was going to pass out there for a second.
Look how look how I'm sweating. I'm glistening over here.
Oh. You're always sweating, that's
why you wear the black hoodie. See, We can't see your moves.
With Bill for that's right, Billfor war, baby, I served.
Did you serve? I don't think that counts, Mike.

(58:46):
I think it does. I'm going to say it does.
Stolen valor. Were you there in 18?
Did you not see me out there battling in 1965?
Because if you didn't shut the fuck up.
Time Machine all. Right here we go, the title is
How to deal with an asshole manager message.
Hey y'all awesome young young bitch cuz I'm not going to tell

(59:07):
you my name is Alec. I'm a 23 year old male and have
a bit of OR and have bit of an issue with a manager at my job.
Kyle. I work at Chipotle in
parentheses, which isn't glorious, but it pays the bills
and feeds the kids. And about half of my work week I
have to put up with a very obvious rude attitude, a poor
work ethic and pure laziness when he's on the clock.

(59:29):
The fuck they paying you a Chipotle where that's feeding
the kids, though. Yeah, that's how he's like.
I work at the best Chipotle. This is we also we're like a
undercover drug smuggling operation.
So I can't say that out loud in this economy.
That's that's that's dope. Maybe he's like high up, look,
I'm more, I'm working. I'm like, how is that happening?

(59:50):
He leaves for 30 to 45 minutes at a time.
The smoke comes in late almost daily and makes horrible excuses
to leave work early. Like me.
Like the fucking that's me, that's yeah, that's me here.
Like I'm like shit. How he got management is beyond
me. I know the bar isn't high at my
job but God this last work shiftpushed me to ask for advice
before pushing him out of a draft through window.

(01:00:11):
I came in to Kyle working the window complaining about not
having any help. So as the decent human being I
am, I jumped over to help the drowning mole rat out of the sea
of orders coming his way. About 5 minutes in the help I
look beside me and he was nowhere to be seen.
His first mistake. A little bit of his first
mistake. His first mistake.
A little while later he finally clocked out and came through the

(01:00:34):
drop through himself, asking me to hand him a bowl.
What? That's crazy Rd.
I annoyingly obliged and did what he did what he wanted, his
reply or asked what he wanted. His reply was everything which
was wildly non descriptive, which was which is wildly non

(01:00:54):
descriptive given you can't physically fit everything into a
bowl. I asked him to tell me exactly
what he wanted because I didn't understand.
His response was to repeat the words as if I were stupid.
I politely and calmly told him Istill I still had 30 minutes on
break his I still had a 30 minute break this shift and he
wasn't on the clock. So it was probably smart that he
mind his tone and did the spat momentarily.

(01:01:17):
But telling him that he could get beat up hasn't resolved it
indefinitely. What do I do, beat him up?
I wrestled through high school and as an adult took up jiu
jitsu. He can't fight his way out of a
wet paper bag. We know this because he's been
choked out by a previous Co worker.
You can't get choked up with twomore Co workers.
Can't do that. I'm not a big dude by any means,
A bean pole really. Five 11135 lbs.

(01:01:38):
But compared to him I'm a giant.He's shorter than my girlfriend,
she's 5/2. I feel like fisticuffs with this
guy would be ruthless overkill. Also, I love the podcast.
Y'all Mike, I've been following you since the original Steve
videos which were hilarious as well.
Now that you've moved past content creation, the podcast
you and Dylan have is OR The podcast you and Dylan have made
is also hilarious. I fall asleep with Airpods in

(01:02:01):
and my poor girlfriend has wokenup numerous times to me laughing
uncontrollably. Dylan, I hadn't heard of you
until the podcast, but your advice is really great and
you're as funny as hell too. I hope to see more content from
you and even solo shit, drop theapps.
That's really sweet though. But they don't matter how small
someone is, anybody can catch anass whooping like bro, you could
be in a wheelchair if you're sitting there, you saw yell

(01:02:23):
something out at my dog. You catch an ass whooping like
you say something about my daughter or wife, you can get
more paralyzed like it's the thing like that.
You are not at the if a guy in ahospital bed hooked up to two
said I'm a elbow drop them. If you talk shit about my family
on my elbow drop. No one is no one is too small to
anything. See they need.

(01:02:45):
Handicap, yes, OK. Like if there's like a kid he
can't control it maybe. Depends on what he says.
Depends on what he said. Also, they're pretty strong so.
So he needs to get advice from the first story where they, you
know, caught the evidence of thedrunk driving thing and and it.
Wouldn't be hard to get him fired honestly.

(01:03:05):
Yeah, just get him, get him out rather than worrying about it.
You don't have to whip his ass, just set him up.
Or set him up to get his ass whooped.
You don't have to do it. That's the crazy thing too is
you don't have to do it as long as someone catches an ass
whooping. I mean, I feel I feel OK at the
end of the day. And then they could just drop a
line like, hey, this is from whoever who they didn't say

(01:03:26):
their names. Whom, Whomever.
Yeah. When do you use whom and who?
No clue. It's like the the apostrophe S
and then the S apostrophe. Or the like.
When you say it's when is there an apostrophe?
I have no idea and every time I do.
It. It is.
That's the only time you use theapostrophe.
Really. Yeah.
Well, cuz like, there's this onestory that I had to like, you

(01:03:47):
know, do the spell check and everything on and.
Yeah, there's two different it'sit's the one it is for when it's
a it is, and then the other one's for when it's it's.
Well, now you know. Yeah.
I'll probably forget it. Yeah.
And then also know the S apostrophe S for when you're
describing like all of somethingand then the apostrophe S is for

(01:04:09):
in like an individual. I know whom and who too.
And I'm just look, I'm special, man.
I know a lot of stuff and then cannot remember it ever.
Yeah, some. Sometimes I'm decent at
spelling, except for out loud. I can type and write, but I

(01:04:30):
swear now that I don't right with my like actual like
handwritten stuff. Very often I end up thinking
that what I wrote down looks wrong.
It always, it just always looks I'll type it out.
I'll be like that is not that isnot correct.
And it's like super simple wordsand I'm like that is not
correct. If you guys heard vibrating,

(01:04:50):
that was my phone and our Labourllama has gotten inundated.
I've gotten probably 15 phone calls in the past two days but
it's all whenever I pick it up. It's like your Google listing is
is not approved do you blah blahblah blah blah.
Oh my God, getting spam calls all the time.
That's that's the only people who want to talk to us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But look guys, I think.

(01:05:12):
I think now's a good time for the.
Yeah, I'm not a Rouse wrap up mode right there, no.
We. We have a fucking voicemail bro.
Voicemail from y'all ready from Ricky, Oklahoma.
Hey there Mike and Bill, and this is Ricky from Oklahoma.
I'm listening to two baddies, 2 daddies and you guys are talking

(01:05:36):
about kids going over somebody else and making them clean.
My fucking sister that fucking fat bitch tried that with my son
back when he was a little guy. I told him to tell her no
because we had just literally showed up at her house and she
tried to make my son clean up her kids mess and I told him to

(01:05:57):
tell her no. Like this time like no I didn't
make this mess. If you have a, if you have an
issue with it, you can talk to my dad and I know they don't
want to talk to me, so. I'll get her.
All right, man, keep up the goodwork, lighter tighters.
I'm hella convinced everybody has a fat sister they don't
like. I don't, but yeah, everybody

(01:06:17):
else. I don't know what it is man.
Like look, when fat people do annoying things it annoys me
more because I get but I don't know.
But also, when fat people do funny things, I'll laugh more.
So it's just like adds, adds more.
Season you want to really fuck somebody up, bro, if you or beef

(01:06:38):
on somebody and they are a person of the larger variety, if
they ever do anything just like something fucking that involves
like speaking to somebody, just be like, wow, you're so brave.
You have so much courage. Remember guys, Lizzo is very
beautiful until someone calls you that.

(01:06:59):
So I think this is a good point and we've covered everything.
I've got the racism, homophobia,sexism, fat shaming.
You did talk about handicapped people.
Handicapped people, Yes. Anybody else?
No. I don't want to leave nobody
out. Nope bro didn't.

(01:07:20):
All right, yeah, I think that's a, that's a fucking Fleet
episode right there. That is A and.
This is the cherry on top for the week.
For the week, yes guys. Thank you so much.
Like I said, I will we drop it to next week and that'll be the
schedule moving forward. Two of those 22 daddies, judge
baddies, make sure to check thatout.
We did the other side the first one for that yesterday.

(01:07:41):
Yeah, for yesterday. So make sure to check that out
and we'll see you next time. Later.

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I Did Something TERRIBLE! Confessions & Workplace Revenge Stories | MADHD Ep26 |

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I Did Something TERRIBLE! Confessions & Workplace Revenge Stories | MADHD Ep26 |