Strip Club Disaster Stories In Da Club | MADHD Podcast Ep27 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Bare nimble bow down my candela Nate.
But the Bow Wow life is short. But this time it was now that.
We're monetized, don't get us demonetized by singing
copyrighted music. Bro here, not there.
There's no algorithm that's going to pick that up as like
any actual singer sung that. Y'all officially did it.

(00:22):
Yeah, we are monetized on YouTube.
Wow. Welcome back to another episode
of Mike and Dylan Hate hate drama.
Nice. Last episode I forgot to do
that. Just like skip by and then
you're like you forgot to do it.Well, so happy to get into the
blackface story. Yeah, you were very amped on
that. Yeah, some things will happen.
We were just going over some drama that old friends were

(00:46):
having. Apparently somebody had stole
some like a PlayStation and thenone was like he shows, he shows
the guys a video of another guy stealing it and that other guy
messages I know you or comments on on a public thing.
He was like, well, now everybodyknows you're a snitch.

(01:08):
You just admitted it. You just.
Admitted you stole the PlayStation.
So then that guy posts a screenshot of the dudes in him
Cash Cash out money. He was like well did he send me
this for cocaine? So I just there's it's this huge
argument and then one GIF I put a like Jon Stewart like
viciously eating popcorn while staring so.
Well, it's just funny because, like, now they're all snitching,

(01:29):
aren't they? Like.
Yeah, it's, it's hilarious. I'm I'm super excited to see.
It's probably it'll probably be taken down by the time I check
it again, which sucks, but you know, work before pleasure.
Yeah, well, we can't comment on how the meet up went because
this is being recorded on Fridayand the meet up's not till
Sunday, but I imagine there's going to be like 100 people

(01:52):
there. Right.
Well, well, I mean, we'll let everybody know on Wednesday how
it went, unless we get murdered,because I think that's a good
way to get my just tell everybody where you're going to
be at. Yeah.
Well, then I have any enemies like that is just like, and I
do. I have many enemies.
You guys, you guys see, see whatI'm like?
So you, Mike, Mike's got a couple of foes out there.
All the name drops that you've been dropping.

(02:14):
Yeah, a couple of OPS out there that's ready to like, I'll give
him a reach around and then the guy that he has is going to like
help him kill me is like, I don't even know how you could
put that into like murder terms,bro.
It just sounded gay. Like that was it.
So I mean, we have tons of submissions.
Thank you. Yeah, yeah, thank you.

(02:36):
Because it is a lot harder to doa podcast on advice when you
ain't got no. Advice.
We could just go from the hip and give them on.
What is it? Unrequested advice?
Yeah, pick a topic. And it's like fat people we
love, boy, if you, if you even mentioned something about losing
weight in front of a fat person,they're going to tell you every,

(02:57):
yeah, every diet there is in theworld.
I'm like, don't do that. Do this.
Well, I guess they wouldn't mention the exercise programs
because they're not doing them. I mean, they will, yeah.
Everything you got to do like hit like 3 times Pilates.
What you want to do is get your heart rate up and you want to
slow down a little bit and look.We just look it up a lot.
I guess I'm in that category nowbecause I was skinny at one

(03:18):
point and I did exercise and nowI'm fat and don't exercise.
Somebody tells me that they're going to like work out and be
healthy. I'm something.
Couldn't be me. I'm ready to go.
I love when people are like, well, you know, I want to live
till I'm 75, four. What like, well, what do you
want to live for? Everything gets more expensive,
shittier. Your kids I.

(03:40):
Don't know it. It sounds sad.
When I said that, I was trying to like make a joke and it'd be
funny and I was like, oh man, God.
Oh. I might need some Cymbalta.
Yeah, I think I told the joke onhere about my oldest daughter.
When? Because I'll play around and
I'll tell her I'll be like, you know, I didn't have a dad, so I
wasn't sad when my dad passed away.

(04:00):
But you have a good father. So it's going to really mess you
up when I pass away. And she was like, not if I, not
if I die first. Oh my God damn, that's cold.
Jesus Christ. We're going to get into a bit of
advice real quick. I felt that felt real fast.
I felt real fast looking locked in, locked in, locked in Title.

(04:22):
The girl I like is leaving for college.
Dear Mike and Dylan, Oh this person is 1919 watching this
formative years. What you were was that when you
were going to jail? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was right
before, right before I turn likemet aim, turn my life around.

(04:42):
So yeah, we're going to turn this kid into a serial killer.
Here we go. I'm 19.
I met this girl a few weeks ago and at a party.
Or oh, I met this girl a few weeks ago and at a party when we
were both drunk we told each other that we both have feelings
but then nothing happened because we both got too drunk
and fell asleep. Damn, you ever got too drunk

(05:03):
where you don't remember the situation?
No, I had one. Like I just don't, I just, I
don't enjoy alcohol. Are you going to tell it?
Because I'm going to put my finger right here is a bookmark.
Yeah, so I woke up 1 morning, like there's this girl that I
was talking to and we were partying.
I had a big party. I was probably, I think it was
21 at the time. And we had this big party at my

(05:26):
apartment, and I woke up the next morning and I had a color
on my penis. And so I was like, what?
What's going on here? And so I washed it off.
I had to get to work, so I just went to work.
Well if I wake up with blood on my Dick I would be concerned
like. I hurried up and got to work and

(05:46):
then she texted me and she's like did I take my tampon out
last night? And I was like I don't remember
us having sex. I.
Literally just talked at like 2 podcasts ago about it was like
I'm with my wife but a stranger that makes my belly hurt a
little. Bit yeah, no, I well, that's The
thing is neither of us remember having sex like we did,
obviously, but neither of us remember and she ended up

(06:07):
finding it like a couple days later.
Man, I got a real fucked up story.
It's not funny, it's just sad. Yeah, go for it.
Yeah, I got like, oh man, Mike'sbeen through some shit.
So I went to this party one time.
This is back when I was doing a whole bunch of like, you know,
pills and shit. So I had done some pain pills,
obviously, but then I had also taken.

(06:27):
So what the fuck is it called? It's like a not Xanax, but it's
the other one. I.
Don't know, fuck. What's it called?
It's a little B ones, but whatever.
So I had taken those two and then the guy, I think there was
a guy, I don't know if I broughtup Jonathan on the podcast, but
because I said I was going to tell some stories about him

(06:49):
later, but he brought over. He was like, I don't know, He
sold drugs sometimes, but then he didn't.
And then sometimes he's homeless, but he wasn't.
So he comes over to where we're at in the trailer park and he
brings over these two homeless women.
And he was like, yeah, I broughtsome girls because we were
having like a little party. I'm cool with it being like a

(07:10):
sausage fest. I'm, I'm OK with that.
And I'd much prefer that than homeless women.
So one was real skinny, no teeth.
What do you get against the homeless?
Nothing. The the unhomed.
Nothing. I was homeless at this point
too, so technically I was sleeping on a friend's couch.
So I was like semi semi homeless.
But the other one was I do you remember Doctor Eggman from the

(07:35):
Sonic video games, how he was built real skinny legs, big top.
So these two walk in OK. And as it's like going on the
way the the big one was talking to me, I was like, oh, oh, she's
like hitting on me. And I was like, you know, I was
being polite about it and I was like, Nah, I don't want to, I
don't want to do any of that stuff.

(07:55):
So the guy or he he was dating some like some kind of stripper
that worked at the T club and I went during the day shift.
So you know, you know, what kindof person I'm talking about is a
is a rough individual too, but compared to the other two step
up. So the she was giving me the
other ones because I don't like doing the like the benzo shit.

(08:16):
So I thought she had gave me what she had gave me before,
just like in a different becausethe same type of pill can be
look differently. But these were somas, which are
like muscle relaxers, and combining those three, I thought
I was going to die. It sounds like you could have
died. Like, I was just like, I was
just like, just like sitting on the couch and fucking just so

(08:39):
the big girl started taking off my pants and I had a threesome
that I did not, did not want to be in that night.
I did not. And The funny thing about it is,
too, the next day I had court and my stepdad was taking me to
court. He walks in.
He was like, he's like, you OK. I was like, yeah, man, I just
got to get out of here, brother.Like fucking it was.

(09:01):
It was rough. Wasn't that the one that you
told where he he like commended you on or like he talked about
it later And he's like, yeah, Mike had two, two bad.
Bitches. Yeah.
So we go. He drops me back off at my
friend Brandon's house. And he was like, man, yeah, I
walked in there. He's laying there with two
girls. I did not want to be.

(09:24):
I did not. I did not want to be there,
brother. All right, We're going to
continue on this. It was like Mike just told us
that he got sexually assaulted. Listen, it don't count.
It don't count to me. I didn't, I didn't think
anything. I just wanted that when it was
the next day when I had left, I was like, alright, it's over.
I'm just going to just going to block that out.
I'm like glad I don't have memories of it though.

(09:47):
I'm on a trip for work so I haven't seen her since.
We've been talking every day andI like her a lot.
The problem is is she's leaving for College in August.
We both agreed that long distance won't work even though
it's an hour and I feel like it could.
But at the same time she'll be in college and I know how that
goes. We decided to just have fun
together this summer and hang out as much as possible.
It's going to suck when she leaves because I really like her

(10:09):
or I really feel like if she wasn't it would work out so
well. What would you guys do in this
situation? I definitely won't don't want to
do anything because just becauseshe's leaving.
But at the same time it sucks that I know it'll end so soon.
So I think you should just follow like you know the 1819
year old that's going into the military and just marry her.

(10:31):
Nah man you're 19 years old bro.Like enjoy your life.
Well, yeah, And I. Mean fun you you you've not had
time to experience. She's had not not had time to
experience life. So definitely with her going off
to college, a long distance relationship.
Y'all did not meet that long ago.
So I do want to say you, you kind of you get them feelings

(10:51):
really quickly and you should probably like try to taper that
back a little bit. But you're, I don't know, she's
going to college, you're 19. I'm going to say hey, go
experience life, go have fun. And she's going to experience
life at college and have fun, so.
I think the hard thing is, is you're probably going to catch
feelings like because you know that it's going away.
So like try to temper that part.But the big thing is, is to not

(11:15):
not like put too much pressure on this situation because you
know, it kind of needs to end. Even if you guys are an hour
away, it just puts so much more strain on your young adult
lives. Like she's going to be off at
college. You're only going to see each
other every so often. Most likely one of the two of
you is going to meet somebody else that you kind of are into
one of these probably going to cheat on each other.

(11:37):
Then all the heartbreak that goes with it, like have fun for
the summer, live for the now andthen let it go in the
summertime. And then you never know, in the
future you might meet back up after you guys are closer or
whatever. But like, there's no reason to
not see her through the summer. The only thing I'd say is just
watch so you're not like fallingin love and then being like, oh

(11:59):
man, she broke up with me. Like you know what's coming?
I don't know if people have watched how I've been drinking
water like the past two episodes.
Can you put it over there so that you don't knock the table
when you put it down? That's why I put it over there.
I thought I had said it over. I was like, why did I do that?
I'm so dumb. I did this and you take.
It's good to know I didn't do. That you take like 5 minutes to
like grab it under here and thenyou're like sitting here with it

(12:20):
talking, finishing and then you go.
But I've been making my tongue like a funnel and like funnel
like a cat. It doesn't touch that tooth.
I broke the whole back half of like my back molar broke off.
Show him, yeah. And the way I've been drinking
water, the top lips not getting enough, so it was like getting
dry. So I was like, I gotta get some
up there. And I got some up there and
touched the tooth and I was justsitting there in pain, just like

(12:41):
trying to look at you not cry. Like it hurts so bad doing some
clove oil. I did Amy fucking put it on
there two nights ago. I was so scared of it.
I remember doing it one time andI got on my gums and I was like,
yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like this.
It's not enjoyable, but it does.It works, it kills it it like I

(13:02):
was like, did it just like murder the nerve like how did
it? Well, back before I got my
wisdom teeth taken out, I used to do it all the time because
it'd go like, you know, between three months to a year in
between, like the wisdom teeth hurting.
And every time they did, I just put a little clove oil on them
and after a week they'd go away and it'd be fine again.
And then finally when I was like30, I don't know, 30-4, I guess

(13:25):
I got them removed. 34 I still have all my wisdom teeth.
I got holes where they were likethe gums kind of like sealed up
but like it's like a weird discounted.
I was like. I still got them.
I think there was some teeth, yeah, I've never had.
Like I didn't ever have teeth cut out when I was a kid so I

(13:46):
assume I still got them. I only had like we never went to
the dentist as kids. And so there was like one time
that my mom got a job that had decent like dental coverage and
so she took us to the dentist and I always pulled my own
teeth. But like the dentist was like,
this one looks like it's a what?What do you mean?
Like as a kid when it was wiggly.
Yeah. I just like, I just always

(14:07):
pulled my own teeth. No, not like we're going to get
them out pliers. And I just, you know, bring me a
little bit. Jack, Daniel and I just RIP.
Them out no, I was one of those kids that like to like push the
pain as far as it would go and like just try to get the tooth
out as fast as possible, but I'll make.
The rats in my room feel the same type of pain.
But then we went to the dentist this one time and he's like,
this one's about to come out. I'll just take it out.
And so then he numbed it. And that was the only time that

(14:28):
I've ever had like novocaine andnumbed mouth and all the
weirdest. Feeling it is the weirdest
feeling ever, but yeah. But live your life.
Look. Don't fall in love.
Don't. Fall in love.
You don't want to be. I'm just going to read the next
one. I'm going to be nice.
Read the next one. Title says the gusher story.

(14:50):
Jolly Rancher Part 3 Part 2. Oh shit, that is a Part 2 but it
has a parentheses next to it, soyou.
Just added. I thought, yeah, I just, I just
added another one. We skipped #2.
For years I thought myself and the other witnesses were the
only ones that knew such horrorswere possible.
Flashback to 2014. Ten or so dumb 18 year old kids

(15:11):
fresh from Navy boot camp decideit's time to find something
ignorant to do. It's Fireball Friday at
Stilettos, the best titty bar inCharleston, SC.
The lesser of the Carolinas. Wash that big black X off and
then it's dollar fireball shots all night long.
Watch that big black X. Yeah.
So when you're under 18, they put an X on you.

(15:33):
And the best way to do it is to just take soap, no water, put
soap on there and then rub it with a paper towel and that ink
will come. Right back fields and shit like
that never went to a bar. I came down here and I think I
was 19 or 20 and my brother's like, if you can get that X off,
like he took me out to a a bar downtown and you were allowed in
if you're under 21, but they puta big black X.

(15:55):
And that's actually how I learned this was I was in there
washing it with soap and water and the guys like, no, no, no,
dry it off and then get the soapon there and then just rub it
with paper towel and the X will come right off.
And so that was like. Or alcohol.
Rubbing alcohol. Yeah, but like when you're out
at a thing, like you don't know.You're going pre plan.
We just bring like a little Viola.
That's a good plan because. It gets it off real quick, I

(16:16):
guess. Alcohol wipes, Yeah, those would
work too. A dancer came, a dancer came on
that, A dancer came on that had a particular party trick.
She'd sit in your chair, blindfold you, climb the pole
and drop gushers in your mouth straight from her penis fly
trap. Yeah, now there's some good
language in there. Before we had the chance to stop

(16:39):
and my friend was on stage and the chair ready to go, the music
started and how she went. We surrounded the mainstage and
might as well enjoy the show. The second song started.
She hung out. That country.
Country pie spelled with CUN yeah country.
That country pie lost my fuckingplace God damn it.

(17:01):
And out they came. 1234 the 4th 1 was in fact not a brightly
colored delicious fruit flavoredsnack.
It was instead a particular shade of snotty greenish yellow.
My belly hurts so bad right now.You're the one that started
this. And it looked like it had a
texture that would have been similar to custard.
God damn it. I'm not going to be able to

(17:22):
finish this story brother. I'll read it about throw up
screams of horror from all over the club.
It was too late. Bloop down the hash it went.
It immediately went right back up all over the stage.
Her and the majority of the people opposite of the side of
the stage. It ended our night quickly.
We limped him back after explaining to him and the
corpseman at sick call what had happened to him.

(17:44):
It was in fact determined to be a nodule of gonorrhea.
However, after being treated andcleared of the gonorrhea, he's
still struggling with his throat.
Follow up found herpes of the throat.
Life lesion or like it says life.
Life lessons I spent. I was like, it says less or at
least says life. Life lessons were learned that
night. No matter how hot the stripper
is, never trust anything coming from the notorious VAG.

(18:07):
My wife and I watch you guys everyday.
Keep the videos coming. You guys are awesome.
God bless a fucking America. You just returned your favor.
No, well, I don't know. Like he he submitted it.
That was fucking rough. That was fucking rough.
And that's so funny because I'veread the Jolly Rancher story so
I mean, I knew what could have. This is how he worded.
It You've never really went to strip clubs, have you?

(18:28):
I've never been. It's such a wild, wild
environment, I. Don't I just, I mean, I never.
I can't touch nothing. I can't do nothing.
Well, you can. You just get kicked out.
Yeah, yeah, that's assault too. Like I went with one of my
buddies for a bachelor party. Such a great idea.
Oh, the table over there, it's off screen.
Nobody can see it. Yeah, we went out for my buddy's

(18:49):
bachelor party and we got kickedout of the first club because he
was touching the girls. And then we get to the second
club, get we were going to get kicked out because he was
touching the girls. But then we went out to the
parking lot and I was like, dude, you got to fucking stop
sounds. Like your, your buddy has a
problem. Yeah, he was.
Well, like that's The thing is like when especially at bachelor
parties and everything, everybody's like in a
competition to get the drunkest.And so then like all inhibitions

(19:12):
go out the window. All your like, you know, manners
go out. And so like, he was, he was
acting a fool. But we went out and went to the
parking lot. I calmed him down.
I was like, dude, you got to like rain it back.
Otherwise the night's over. It's just.
Just chill it out. And then I go to stuff a 20 in
the bouncer's pocket and he's like, I'm gonna let him back in.
And my buddy walks up to him. He's like, fuck you, you're an

(19:33):
asshole. I was like, shut the fuck up,
dude. So we can get back in this club
and just like finish out the night.
Well, we get back in and he has this thing where he would always
like yawn. He just while you're talking to
me, just go and yawn. Well, I didn't know this the
night of, but like he'd get lockjaw where his jaw would not
shut. And so we're in the we're in the

(19:55):
club and that ends up happening to him.
And so he like runs back out of the club and we're all of us are
out there and like one of my buddies is like hitting him in
the jaw trying to get his jaw tolike go back.
Literally you could lift him up with his jaw and it went like, I
guess he's got to do something where he like pulls it back down
and then it will like release super crazy.
But we get back in there and I'mgoing to use one of your

(20:18):
favorite words in this one. But we get back in there and I'm
sitting next to him trying to like keep him calm.
Like he's still like in the cluband the DJ is like, all right,
this this song goes out to that guy and is retarded.
He's like trying to yell at. But it's just such a wild night

(20:39):
because then at that night, like, they usually have like
some sort of adult film stars. Like, they'll go on tour kind of
like comedy tours. But they had this one dancer.
Her name was Little Gaga. And no shit, she was no bigger
than this with like, big old fake tits and like, yeah, put on
the whole show, wigs and all. And I was like, this is the
wildest night something. Like that ran out of your clouds

(21:00):
just out of nowhere. It doesn't matter how big and
fake the tits are. She could be by just coming out.
Yeah, just this is different. Oh, God, that's pretty good.
Oh, all right. Here we go.
What is OK? I don't know.
There's so many granny's gun grease.

(21:21):
I don't know what that has to dowith the story even.
Have seen that username coming on a bunch of stuff though.
My sister and her husband have been together since we were 15.
He's one of my best friends and I've watched her be completely
rude and awful to him their entire messages or entire
marriage. Suck his Dick brother.
Just suck his Dick and steal himaway.
I'm already going to give you the advice for it.

(21:42):
All right? You just look.
Next time he comes over, drop down, give him that old double
pump. If he ain't got enough to double
pump, you pump one. But you like vigorously do it.
And then you can. So much.
It's like moving all all over the place, like, oh, I got to
dodge this monster. Make him feel really good and
special about himself. Well, yeah, it's just show a
little little enthusiasm, right?Yeah, like it doesn't take much.

(22:02):
It does nothing. Nothing.
It's not this. God Bless America.
At one point she said she wantedan open relationship and he
called me and said what I could do to save.
What can I do to save my Well she?
She said she was asexual and wanting an open relationship.

(22:25):
So asexual. I think that means that they.
Don't get down. They don't have sex.
And she she wants him to sleep with other people.
Yeah. That's the next sentence.
Actually, OK, ask him what he tried to do and he said
everything she's told. She told him she's asexual and
polyamorous and that he needs toget a girlfriend.
I told him that's his only option, then that's what he has

(22:46):
to do. Here's where the tricky part
kicks in. Now that he had a girlfriend, he
accidentally got her pregnant and my sister totally lost her
shit. She's now convincing everybody
that he was abusive, saying things like he beat her and the
kids. Even the other day she called me
and told me that she was mad at me for some misogynistic thing
that I said. Which is ironic because I'm a
feminist. But the crazy part is but the

(23:10):
crazy part was when I said how and she told me that I was being
aggressive and that she couldn'ttell me.
How do I continue to have a relationship with somebody like
my sister who's fucking wild crazy.
But also what do I do for my buddy?
Recently my grandma died and my sister skipped the funeral but
her ex-husband showed up. That's her friend.
That's his friend, right? Yeah, well that's the

(23:31):
ex-husband. Yeah, the the buddy.
Boy, you said my boy but but my boy showed up.
We had a really long talk and itwas the first time I got to talk
to him. She's telling everybody that if
we talk to him she's going to cut us off and that we're
fueling his abuse. But I know that this is wrong.
She is hurt. In fact she is the abuser not

(23:54):
just with him but with her kids as well.
Should I cut her off for my kidssake?
Cut off my friend, her ex-husband?
OK, because he put the comma there, I'm thinking there's two.
People, I think I put the comma there.
I'll try and give you a pause sothat you.
Granted gun grease Dylan fuck you up.
I don't think so. It's to the point where she
openly let's her kids swear to. I see this going down a dark

(24:14):
path. Please break it down for me
boys. You guys rock.
Love the pod. You guys are awesome.
So I am 100% sure she was fucking somebody else though,
100%. I have met like asexual people,
right. I have someone in my family who
was asexual and they just like won't don't even think about no

(24:38):
romance. Yeah, no romance at all.
Doesn't even think about like the other person.
And normally someone who's like that will like start, you know,
I guess when they got together, it really wasn't a thing.
Yeah. The the thing that gets me
though, is saying that he can like see somebody else, but then
getting mad. Like, I mean, I guess they set

(24:58):
some bounce. I don't fucking know, man,
polyamory. So fucking weird.
Still be friends with your boy. If he was not abusing his kids
and your sister, then not only do you need to have his back
around the family, but also in the court of law if it goes
there, because that could fuck up his life entirely.
Because that is, I mean, you know, women get paid less, but

(25:19):
they get to go to court and fucking they get to control the
room. I mean, have you ever, have you
seen that documentary where the lady was like crazy and she
killed her husband and then the judge gave custody of the kid to
the mom who murdered the husbandin cold blood?
And then, like, the grandparentswere trying to fight for the kid

(25:39):
to get the kid back and the the judge wouldn't do it.
And she took her and the baby, fed them Xanaxes and then jumped
off a pier and drowned? Yeah, that's fucking wild, isn't
it? And I don't understand how like
the judge is not in jail. Seen it's, it's weird just
because like in those situations, like my brother had
a big like custody issue and youknow, I'm his brother, so

(26:02):
obviously I'm going to side withhim.
But you know, there was like homelessness that was going on
and all this other stuff. And like he had a full time job,
a place to stay like, but they would never give the kids to him
because of that. But then like, you know, like
some, you know, sometimes men can get the better side of
things like with like custody. Now it's all like 5050 and I

(26:23):
don't really agree with 5050 custody just because then like
the kids got like a set of houserules over here for a week and
then over there for a week and then there.
And and so it just like fucks with the kid.
I don't necessarily think that 5050 I know it on paperworks,
but it I don't really think thatit's good mentally for kids, but
like that's the way it is now. And there's no like fighting.
I guess you can fight, but it's one of those battles of will the

(26:46):
mom automatically get it or willthe dad somehow figure out a way
to get it. That's just a fucked up system.
There was a case going on, I don't know, none of the fucking
names. I just saw the stories, but a
mom sent her kids or like the dad or you, you right.
The dads are getting the dads are getting some pushback now,
now that I guess all the judges in there now are like, look,

(27:07):
we're too even too nice to women.
So now we got to be overly nice to the guy and anything instead
of actually like, look at the case.
Yeah, look at the case. Anything except for look at the
case. We'll just be like, oh, OK,
we're getting stereotyped like this.
We'll just fucking. We'll, we'll go in the other
direction. But she sent her kids to be with
their dad, who was homeless. He murdered all three of them
and then ran off in the woods. I don't even know if they found

(27:28):
the guy yet. But like he's doesn't have a it.
Was all over the news. Like once again, it's about the
kids being in the best place that they can be, not just like,
oh, let's do this 5050 or oh, you know, we overcorrected at
like look at the kids. Which scenario is better for
those kids to grow up happy and healthy?
Put them there. That's too much work.
Too much work. That's the problem.

(27:48):
That's one thing that's wrong with the judicial system.
There's so many people going to like court and ship or dumb
shit. Yeah, so you got a fuck load of
people in there. There's no way you can actually
spend time and treat things likewe fucking, which is essentially
people's lives. That's what you're dealing with
in court is people's lives all day long.
But yeah, I don't know. I saw a lot of comments too from

(28:11):
that case where people are like actually his children were
murdered and he's fucking, he's ex army and he's hunting the
guys down who did it. Yeah, that's why he just
disappeared. Didn't ask for any help, just.
Clear my name. He's the guy from Taken.
Yeah, he has a particular set ofskills.
I really hope they caught that guy and he doesn't watch these

(28:32):
podcasts. Yeah, he just comes in here and
like Crane kicks you and then fucking power bombs me on this.
He was like, right now I got to go find the ones that killed my
kids. I'm like, I can't believe him
now. A little bit.
Like he comes in and mops both of us.
I have to believe. He's just on a mission, right?
Don't get him in the way of his mission.
That is fucked though. That is fucked.

(28:53):
People are fucked. Like I said, you just have to
your sister is there's somethinggoing on.
I don't know what's going on. There's something going on
because that's fucking. That's some crazy shit, I guess
they said. Like I said, the the farthest I
think about like polyamory people.
The Why'd you make that face? Could you be trying to?

(29:14):
It hurts so fucking. Bad man, it hurts so bad.
I'm trying to like like get through it but it hurts so
fucking bad. You.
Didn't get some clove oil beforeyou came?
No. Like I said, it's.
Go home and dose up. EW, it's nasty.
No, Mike's drunk on the podcast.Yeah, not just hurts so fucking.
And then the reason I'm talking like that, though, is the bottom

(29:35):
of my tongue where it sets at iscut.
So it just hurts to like. Well, then it swells.
Yeah, and then it makes it worse.
Down fucking sucks. People like Mike just go to the
dentist. You see, brother, there's this
thing called I am my boss and hehas never gave me insurance.
So fucking. Yeah, and dentists, like, I

(29:56):
mean, I went to go get a cleaning.
I don't do them regularly, but Iwent and got my like my last one
and it was like 175 dollars. I was like, I'm not going back.
Right. Yeah, this is the last cleaning.
I got water at home. Yeah, I got water at home.
I. Brushed my teeth.
I ain't weird. Like I mean, I am like I wish I
could go get cleanings, but whenthey're like, I think it used to
be less than 100. And then the next time I went
back because I've only done it like I think that was the third

(30:18):
year in a row and I was like, OK, I'll go back.
Like I'm keeping up with. It I am so conscious of how I
sit now, I can't just like sit down and relax because Dylan
brought up. He's like you like move back in
your chair and move forward. He always does like this and
like I try to leave a. Move space.
And I was like, oh, this is an uncomfortable position.
I'm Batman and I'd be sitting onmy nutsack too.
That's what just happened. I sat up and I don't like to sit

(30:40):
on my nuts. So got back down.
Got back down. Yeah, I don't know, man.
Murder your. Sisters like that's a 2 pager.
Murder your sister or something,brother.
I ain't reading that. That's fucking.
That's a lot of talking. Jesus Christ.
Look, I'm a find a good sized one.
Well. We got to read it.
Reader listener submitted it. A listener submitted it and they

(31:00):
were like, hey. I'm going to tell you a book, 2
pages. Long we're going to.
I was going to transit like, oh fucking shit.
Yeah, we got long ones. Yeah, got long ones.
All right, here we go. Note from Dylan, let the
audience know we made-up names for the story.
I don't think I was supposed to read that.
Yeah. They put in just like initials,

(31:22):
like H&S. And I was like, no, I'm not like
just, I'm just gonna make up names, so.
That we did. Am I the asshole with just
initials? Yeah, it's terrible.
Yeah, it sucks so much. Cuz then you don't know who's
who cuz you're like H. Wait, it was that H that did
that? Or was that S that did that?
And who's F? Is F the husband?
Yeah. Or is G the grandma?
I don't fucking. So I just made-up names for
everybody in the story. Hi Mike and Dylan I just want to

(31:45):
say that me and my future husband love watching y'all's am
I the asshole tik toks just to say my future husband is my high
school boyfriend in the story sohe knows everything they did and
is siding with me because he knows that you can still have
friends while dating. But anyways am I the asshole for
dumping my high school best friends for choosing men over
me? Wait what?

(32:08):
Oh wait, OK never mind. I was confused because she was
like my husband's the type that is like you can still have
friends. I thought they were guys.
Yeah, no, they're gross. It's just one of those things
where they go Mia. Just avoid the tooth brother.
All right, let me clarify that me and my two friends have been
friends since middle school of 2014.

(32:29):
We hung out a lot, and as we gotolder, they started dating
seriously, or so they think. I'm just making sure I read this
shit right. My one friend Susan started to
have body problems, and she started throwing up her food
just to become skinny quick. That's a good method.
You don't get the food in and don't make you fat.
Yeah. You still get to taste it too.
Yeah, and you get to taste it. You just won't have teeth

(32:49):
afterwards. Yeah, and two months I'm.
She saw how I stopped eating just to fit in with my weight
class and wrestling. So she started to do something
similar. Is this a girl?
Yeah. Yeah.
OK. She's wrestling.
Wrestling and when she started to fit into smaller sizes she
thought she was hot shit. So she started sleeping around
and dating constantly and at thetime the friendship wasn't going

(33:12):
bad. Yes we hung out but she started
to see more guys. OK I don't know what's going on
at all. Well graduation comes to small.
FYII moved from TN to FL in the middle in the middle of my
senior year. Tennessee to Florida so we
didn't graduate together but I did fly back and attend her
graduation. You're right they put a lot of
personal shit in here. We started just the part because

(33:34):
she started seeing this one guy and when I attempted to call,
text or even come see her she made an excuse.
Well me and Chris are busy or wewould make plans and the day
before or an hour before we planned the meet up she was
always like Oh well me and Chrisdecided to do something else.
We stopped talking and I gave her some space since she only
had time for her man and not to hang out with me and she did the

(33:57):
same to my other friend Mary. So I started to confide in her
and tell her about what Susan was doing.
So a year goes by, still nothingbut the same excuses from Susan.
But when me and Mary start our own problems but then me and
Mary start our own problems. She started to do what Susan was
doing to us, distancing, always making excuses of why she can't
hang out. So at this point I'm friendless

(34:19):
at the time and I started to think that I was the problem and
I did something wrong. Me too.
Well two years later. Well two years go by and me and
my future husband moved back to Florida to be closer with my
family and I still tried to keepcontact with both Susan and Mary
but just a high by conversation and some messages from me.
They were seen but never responded to.

(34:40):
So October of 2023 my high school boyfriend proposed to me
and as any woman who gets engaged we call and text our
closest friends and family and share the news.
Well I called Mary and I tell her there's no punctuation in
this. Dylan, you did not help me at
all. She seemed a little dismissive.
So I asked, hey, is everything OK?
And she said yeah, but I can tell she is pissed off.
So I asked are you good? Are you mad at me or something?

(35:01):
And she says yes, why did you call me?
Me taken aback to tell you I'm engaged and I'm sorry if I
bothered you. You can just tell me that it's
not a good time to call. And she says very angry.
Well, I can't just drop everything for you.
I have my own life, my own man, and I really don't have time for
you. After that, she hung up and I'm
in shock. I tried to message her and so I

(35:21):
tried to message her saying I'm sorry and no response.
So I got to the point of sendingher a message that basically
says I don't think we could be friends anymore.
What you said was uncalled for and your excuse isn't a good
one. But if you don't have time for
anybody else besides your man, then goodbye Susan.
I stopped talking because she was always blowing me off to be
with her man. So I just kind of gave her the
silent treatment. She never called or texted me

(35:44):
unless she wanted money. Now Mary and I stopped talking
after I sent her that message. Now it's two years later I
started thinking about Susan andMary again, but I don't know if
I should. My future husband says no and
that they dug their own graves in this one.
But I just keep seeing our own photos and videos when we were
all so happy and how great of a time we had and I'm realizing I
miss having that. So am I the asshole for Devin,

(36:06):
My high school, high school bestfriends for them choosing men
over me? And should I reach out to them
to see if we could be friends again?
Thanks guys and sorry that this story is a little choppy.
I tried my best to give you all details of the story but also
shorten it so it can make sense.PS Y'all got any marital advice
for me and my husband? We are trying to tie the knot
October 16th, 2026. Thanks guys.

(36:29):
I just want to I just want to commend you.
That was a a great. When I read it like that, my
tooth did not hurt so. You just ran straight on down
the side. Of my tongue was OK I was like,
all right, we're being more animated I guess, cuz like I'm
trying to relax it. That's where the that's where
the swearing's coming. Yeah, I don't want to move it
up. So then I can't.
Like, I don't know. I'm a loud talker.
You can see how much my tongue moves when I talk.

(36:50):
So fucking sucks. You never notice how much your
tongue moves when you talk untilyou got to cut on the side of
your tongue. And then you you notice how much
your tongue moves at all times and it's I don't like being
aware of your body parts. Also, look girl, you crazy all
right, You're not crazy, but it is completely acceptable for

(37:15):
people to when they grow up. I mean they get their own lives
friends from high school, especially because it's
different. All right, so let me let me get
some water before I explain this.
Can I go? I just explained it.
I I, I want to get. I'm a loser.
You always do that right in the middle of your point.
You're like, let me get 5 seconds to drink this water.
Well God said I'm a give this fat ass dry mouth every 10

(37:37):
minutes. Why?
Just when I'm on a podcast? No, I could talk outside 30
minutes. I'll be OK on a podcast.
I'm just like have public speaking and that's what it is,
a public speaking. But I told my daughter, so my
wife or I'm not going to get into that because that's a
little bit too personal. And they might watch the yeah,
not my wife, but you know, but Itell my daughter that family

(38:02):
members friends, if they have kids and you don't have to be
their friend. Like you're going to you're
you're going to be friends with people that are like around your
family or in your school becauseyou have to be at school and you
have to be around your family. But as you grow up, you're going
to find people that you like, actually fuck with, like you
actually see as a friend. They share similarities to you,

(38:25):
not just because you went to thesame school where you went, you
know, you're in the same family,but just because they're a
person. You're like, oh man, this
person's really cool. That's a true friend.
And when you get out of high school, you do really see who
like the the real friends are because people are getting their
own lives. They're, you know, they're
living. And maybe they don't have as

(38:45):
much time now for friends who are in high school or, you know,
even even if they're related, they might not have time for
that because they have their ownlives now.
So it's completely OK for a planto change when someone has that
now to happen from back-to-back.Friends, I do think you are
over. What is it over?

(39:07):
You're like overly connected, like you're.
You're it's not, it's not an overly connection, but you are
expecting too much of people a because you're like, hey, if we,
you know, we everything's got tofall through perfect.
It doesn't happen. It's life.
It doesn't happen. And also it's just, I believe
that you are very sensitive. I think that is a big thing.
I think, I think that the cancellations probably happen a

(39:30):
lot less than you, you think they did because I think it just
when it happens, you're just like, Oh my God, it's always
happening. Now my other friend's doing it
and and she's she's more caught up in that they're just in
relationships. Well, she's super young too.
Yeah. Like, I mean, you're, you're
still young. So like you're figuring out how
adult, like actual adult relationships.
But she's definitely sensitive. Like it's, I think that when

(39:53):
someone tells her that they can't hang out with her, she's
kind of takes that as like a personal thing.
Oh, you don't want to hang out with me so.
Yeah. Like my take on it is
friendships tend to be like of convenience.
Like it just that's the nature of it.
Like if you're in the same area doing the same things, obviously
relationships are going to buildand everything, but like all of
a sudden if you separate that scenario, that relationship

(40:16):
isn't going to be as strong because you no longer share the
time. Like I mean, I don't know how
many times I've had like really close work friendships, but the
second I don't work there like. We're not going to hang out and
talk as much because like we're on different schedules and we're
not doing the same things. And so like, it's not not to say
that like they're not still a friend, it's just you're not

(40:37):
going to be in the same environment.
And so since things have changed, like you're not going
to see if you hung out once a week before now it's going to go
to like once a month or once a year.
Other stuff and we have, you know, relationships that we want
to grow. Some people are having kids.
So it's just a lot of it's a lotmore responsibilities when
you're an adult, a lot less freeanytime when you're an adult.

(40:58):
Shout out to the shout out to the boyfriend, though.
It was like they dug their own grave.
Look, fucking bitches. That's a good boyfriend right
there. Anytime, anytime a wife
complaints about her friends, you always just be up.
That's right, they're being bitches.
Never try to rationalize. Never, never try to be like,
well, have you looked at it likethis?
Whose side are you fucking on right now?
I'm on yours. Beat the beat that bitch's ass.

(41:20):
Look, she's like, God, it's not that serious.
I'm like, then don't do it. Certainly talk to her.
She's like, that's what I like, because she's she's dumb.
And then my wife would be like, yeah, I'm like, she's a bitch.
Like, yeah. And she's a whore.
Stop. Well, yeah, 'cause like I've had
so many, like I mean, some of mybest friends from like high
school and everything, like we still get up and hang out with

(41:40):
each other, but in order for us to hang out, we literally have
to plan like 2 months in advance.
Like with schedules, like we're like, hey, when's the next time
you're free? And like one of the guys works
like 2 weekends a month And so like we got to default to those
those two weekends as options and.
Then we can't hang out. And then so we got these.
Two that we can try to plan. Something yeah.
And then everybody else, like, throws it against it and they're

(42:02):
like, oh, we're not available this date and this date.
And so then, OK, that narrows itdown.
And then we try to get, you know, 5 or 6 of us together.
But if only if one person isn't available, we're just like, OK,
we'll just hang out without thatperson.
And it's not that that person's like, fuck that person.
It's just, you know, like, oh, well, all of us can.
The majority of us can meet then.
We'll just do it then. And so, but it's, that's how it

(42:24):
is as an adult. It's not like, hey, you guys
want to go out and get a beer, especially because we've all
moved. Like.
We've moved like 40 minutes to an.
Hour said when have I ever like been like hey Dylan this hang
out that wasn't like, you know in like 10 minutes right now
yeah yeah right now. Another funny thing is too is
the the sore on the front of my tongue went away.
I should have done that like 2 days ago but that's because I
keep playing with the tooth hole.

(42:46):
It is fun though when I'm eatingfood and I'm just saying I got
to like. Dig it out.
It's a mission. Yeah, it's.
Bro and I look, I'm just like just go get a fucking toothpick
and I'm like, no, I could do it.My tongue is just like, no, we
got. Oh yeah, no, that's me like a
piece of meat and. Then I have a big cut on my
tongue the next day and I'm justlike, I should have just got a
toothpick. Or like when you eat
Butterfinger or something like that and it just like makes your

(43:08):
teeth flat, you're like. Oh yeah, I hate that, though.
Yeah, I don't like that. I like eating corn on the cob.
But then I do get a toothpick because that's way too much.
That's the only way I like corn.Like my my tongue would try to
form a union if I tried to make my tongue get all the fucking
kernels. Skins.
Am I the asshole for telling me I'm more make a damn decision so

(43:32):
we get healed? Healed.
Yeah. But yeah, healed.
Was that how it was written? Yep, Yep.
I didn't want to touch it so butyou.
Fucked up This is the first person that's ever fucked up a
sentence in 2 languages on the podcast, so great job that.
That's pretty good. We still love you.
Dylan does. I don't because I have to read

(43:52):
it. Dear Mike and Dylan, Hope hope
all is well with you and yours. I30 and Mia more dumbass 35,
have been together for almost 2 years.
For me he is my sunshine. But it has been starting to it
is but it has been starting to lackluster.
We are currently living togetherin an apartment while his wife
and two kids, ages 3 and five, and their newest baby with

(44:16):
another man are living in the same town as his other house at
his other house. I can read if you want me to.
We are currently living togetherin an apartment while his wife
and two kids, ages 3 and five, and her newest baby with another
man are living in the same town at his other house.
Yeah. They all live in the same town.

(44:37):
They. Live in the apartment, I get
that, I get that. But when the words missing I get
fucked up. That's where I get fucked up.
And there's a lot of words just like missing.
Honestly, it is obvious he is going through a crossroad with
speed bumps and potholes on bothsides.
Between his procrastination to get the divorce paper submitted
and his delay in getting a lawyer to help manage custody

(44:59):
agreements for his kids. His kids spend most of the last
summer at his apartment, which my boyfriend enjoyed thoroughly.
But now his ex refuses to let the kids come to his house, all
because I'm staying with him at the apartment.
I could tell this has been put on a lot of stress on him and in
a domino effect, stress on our relationship.
So for the past nine months he'sbeen spending most of his free
time at work or at the other house, while in the meantime I'm

(45:23):
riding an emotional roller coaster and going in circles
arguing with his ex. I've been trying to communicate
with him about their disastrous boundaries and try to give
advice and outside resources. Of course he seems happy or he
seems to be empty between his ears most days.
I told him he can't leave peopleon the hook and he needs to make
a decision. I know I will more than likely.

(45:45):
I know this. I know will more than likely
boot me. Which is absolutely fine because
I'll be free and able to move onand heal on my own.
Learn to feel safe from her stalking, bullying and
harassing. But this needs.
But he needs to make steps. Not as an ultimatum, which
sounds like it, but so they can stop fucking being selfish and

(46:05):
hurting each other because the catalyst of their bullshit is
hurting their children. My gosh it's so annoying because
they get stupid and caddy and for the children trying to
explain their actions of limbo and toxicity is harmful to them
as well as everybody in the radius.
If they can. If they get back together that's
fine then take the steps, get help.
Leave me be. It will hurt and I'll probably

(46:27):
ugly cry but I can move my stupid ass on.
You know? Even if he is done and the
decisions and decides to no go with that ho then he needs to do
the steps. He claims he is scared and that
time blah blah blah. The kids.
Look my brother it's not the kids.
I get so fucking mad because literally I'm the scapegoat or

(46:47):
blame or blame or I'm jealous. It's not jealousy or anything.
I'm the only one that actually fucking cares for the children.
We are supposed to protect them mentally and physically and
that's with all children. They both confuse the kids and
are being selfish brats. I said you need to take the
fucking steps. Jesus, if I read fucking steps

(47:07):
one more time, Jesus Christ. I get it.
They got to take steps brother. They got to take steps.
I'm tired of saying the steps. You both need to sit the fuck
down, act your goddamn age and do what the fuck ever.
I was much more cool and collected saying this but my
Lord my mic must be off lol. Yes they can Co parent but the
style of it is highly inappropriate.

(47:28):
Pretending to be this image is exhausting.
What do they do? What do they achieve out of
this? You know they need to stop
pointing fingers. Make all the schedules.
Nothing wrong with going to games and plays because that's
all we do. My baby daddy and I literally do
not talk at all but I never prevent him from seeing his
daughter. But that is the setup.

(47:48):
But that is set up with my mother.
But he comes to Christmas and shit and I'll speak with him.
I told him that I'm trying to help y'all not to get where our
shit is. We used to pretend to play
family and keep the image. But bro you could feel my fear
in his anger. It was awful.
We cannot do that and that's OK.I refuse to let my peace be

(48:10):
broken. For what image?
To who? Allow my daughter to think that
it's OK because of family. No, she is young and she can
heal and come to understand and make our own decisions as
individuals. So what are they achieving?
Figure it out, talk to them, give correct boundaries.
The children are resilient and can heal.
Relationships, healthy ones, canbe together or not.
They can heal or not. But relationships are like farts

(48:32):
sometimes. When you force them they are
nothing but shit. I'm sure you sugar.
I'm sure you sugar cookies can tell the difference.
In writing. I was proofreading and Mr.
Boohoo selfish part of me, selfish part to my thing made me
mad. Anyways could you tell him we
get your upset and scared we feel sorry for you big boy pants

(48:54):
and steps and my gosh I love himbut Lord I.
Mean, I think she's right. Like it's it.
That was the hardest one I've ever had to read.
Yeah, I know. I read it a couple times.
You could have been like, it's adoozy.
I did my brain, so I would have to go, this is where I'll start
fucking up when I like misread aword.

(49:16):
That is because I am reading ahead to try to catch the yeah,
to try to catch like dramatic pauses and shit.
And then I'll go into that real robotic part at the second-half.
And that's just me getting through the story.
And that's really ultimately where you.
Then I'll start reading like this and I'll start going
through the story because that'show I have to go through the
story. Well, yeah.
And it's not so much about your performance of the story, it's
about the story. So you don't have to do this big

(49:39):
gymnastics. Being entertaining when you was
in elementary school in middle school and they had that 1K read
and he was when the the the dog.Well, that's what you're doing
by trying to perform. No, I'm getting to do it quickly
because I cannot add funny to it, which bores the people.
OK, if this was a podcast about helping people get to sleep,
sure, we could do the. No, they need the story and the

(50:01):
details. And then you'd be funny like
you. Just get AI got to read the
story and just be sitting here the whole time.
Just. Oh, wow.
Well, no, it was definitely creatively written and I, I
wouldn't have written it that way if I was writing the same
story. But like, ultimately she's right
that he needs to figure out thatsituation, put a bow on it and

(50:21):
be done with it so that the the kids and the X and all that
stuff are just like, it is whereit is.
I'm sorry if if an X if your partner and ex are spending the
night together, they're fucking.They weren't spending the night
together, she said. He while he was at the house,
huh? Yeah, she said.
While he was at the house, right.
I might have fucking. No, they stay at the house that

(50:43):
they owned as a couple, the kidsand the ex-wife.
To get back to it, I might have fucked up.
They're not staying together. The kids are coming over to
their apartment during the summer and she won't let the ex
won't let the kids stay over there because she's living there
now and she just wants the husband to basically or the her

(51:04):
boyfriend. She wants him to put a bow on
the relationship so that they'redivorced, that the kids have a
custody agreement. So that like it's just all
written out there and nobody's like playing games right now.
They're all playing games exceptfor her.
She's kind of just a part of thethe game.

(51:28):
I'm getting to. It.
I have to read it again, which is like, I was like, I'll never
read this again. Now I have to do it.
I don't. Like I said, I don't.
It's like the Jason Lee Scientology thing.
I don't want to say something and.
Then, Oh yeah, we're going. To then it's just out there and
like even if it's not true, people believe it.
We're like Facebook memes for old people.

(51:50):
But yeah, hey, I was going to fuck them up, bro.
It's fucking me up. Mike sent me this, this one
thing. He's like Facebook scams for old
people or is like done. Like it's oh, yeah, bro, Gen.
X is cooked. They are going to get all of
you. Every single bit of Gen.
X retirement money is gone. Just kind of just kind of gone.
It was like all these newscasters and they're like,

(52:12):
hi, I'm Liz whoever reporting from not real and I am not real,
bro. You're going to get a cracking
coming out of those. You're going to get a video from
a FaceTime of your daughter and she's going to be asking for
money. And you're like, oh, sure.
And then you're going to text your lady and be like, you get
the money I sent you. He was like, what?
Money. Yeah.
I didn't ask you for money. God.
You're so stupid dad. That was a scam and obvious one.

(52:33):
Isn't it so? Real Well, it's not it's not the
idea you. Didn't run it through the AI.
All people are just fucking dumb.
Our old people are the old people we have right now.
You're fucking dumb. Yes, this is IRS.
That was. Fuck, I can't even do a fucking
Indian accent. My wife almost there taken for
that. They're like.
Just go get a bunch of Steam codes, OK?

(52:54):
You're gonna scratch off the pack of Steam codes.
What are Steam codes? They're used for online games.
OK, Yeah, that's what the IRS wants.
They want Steam codes. Yeah.
And, bro, old people just. They go out there and.
Well, like there was this one scam where there it was like the
IRS calling and said that they're going to have the
sheriffs at your job or whatever.
And my wife was like, she went into her job and she's like, is

(53:14):
this real? And they're like, no, they're
scamming you. I was like, you fell for that.
Like like if you have the sheriff coming, like come on
sheriff. Like you don't even have like a
back tax bill or nothing. Like they're just coming for
you. But it's easy to get scared when
they when they send those scams.Maybe I just like yeah, you just

(53:36):
like I want to you. Put it in there, there's no
sleeping over at the other's house.
That was a different story long ago.
Like at least last week. You can give advice as if he's
not sleeping at the other house,because he's not.

(53:56):
What the fuck I can't. They stay I.
Felt like I read that. Though they stay at the other
like his ex-wife or not ex-wife,his current wife but like ex
lives in their house that they had together and he lives in an
apartment. Now correct, but there's no
staying. Over at the other house.
Wait a second, you keep entertaining people, I read.

(54:17):
I'm trying to but like I don't going I need like this back and
forth keep. Going I'm back and forth with
you, bring up something. You know, if I were given my
advice, though, like, I, I thinkyou're doing the right thing.
I think it's impossible to push somebody to make those
decisions. Like he's going to do it when he
wants to and he's really just kind of procrastinating on it.
But I mean. So for the past nine months,

(54:41):
he's been spending most of his free time after work at the
other house. OK, now staying the night, he's
over there visiting his kids because she won't let the kids
come over to the apartment. Every day.
Every day bro, me and my I'll belike 5050 and then what?
You just no, I want 50% of the time.

(55:01):
I want to see the mother fucker.They're just mean.
They once you have more than onekid, it gets rough.
It gets they team up. Except for when they're fighting
each other. So I'll tell you exactly.
I'll show you an example of how they teamed up the other day.
So Oliver. Oh shit.
Well, keep an eye on the fuck middle kid, ask for Roebucks the

(55:25):
day before. And I was like, look, bud, I can
do that for you. All right, whatever.
You know, it's times are hard, but I can do that for you.
Make them a little bit happy andjust give them something.
So then they start playing this game and my daughter was like,
man, if I can get the seed pack,I'll be able to I'd I'd be able

(55:48):
to give you some. So he'll let the secret out.
So she comes in and she asked mefor something.
I was like, oh, you know, we really ain't got it now right
now, so can we? And then she was like, did you
give him something? I was like, no.
And then he was like, yes, you did.
And I was like, well, guess who's never getting any ever

(56:08):
again, ever. I swear to God I will buy
methamphetamine before I ever get you.
Yeah, Roebucks. I ain't even got earth books.
I love that meme bro. All right, I can read some.
I got it. God, you.

(56:30):
Struggle just as hard as I do. Yeah, I know, but I don't
complain about it. Listen all, I ask periods and
commas and maybe not 2 pages. Well, sometimes the story needs.
I would say her story could havebeen.
I feel like she was She was typing that as she was thinking
it though, Like she's just because she would get into
those. Well, that's what she said at

(56:50):
the end. She's like, did you see the
difference in writing? Because like her boyfriend
pissed her off or whatever. And so like the last half of it
was like angry, whereas the first half was understanding,
right? You didn't even give her no
advice on that. You said she was young.
She's 30. Who?
The girl? Gotten that one.
I was talking the one that they were in middle school in 2014.

(57:12):
Oh my God. Hey, I'm fucking up all these
stories, bro. It'll be all right.
We'll get through this. We.
Will get through it. Hey, I'm thinking about how I'm
sitting, how my face. I always think about that when
you're telling I'm like, how am I Like am I've never noticed.
You keep forgetting that it cutsback and forth between us and
like, I'm just sitting here the whole time.
I just chill. That's just I can feel the

(57:33):
camera on me now. I don't know something about me
sitting. So now simultaneously I'm going
to tell you I'm thinking about the way my ass is positioned
where my tongue is in my mouth. And if I'm just like I'm I, I am
being a reciprocal partner. You got a strong case of the
Tism. Yeah, that's what the doctor

(57:54):
says. So, OK, which sister is the
asshole? The timeline is important.
April 2022 my mom and sister bought a house together since
they wanted a big house large enough for grandkids and get
togethers. 7/29/2022 I moved from Florida to Mississippi to

(58:14):
be closer to my mother since shewas getting older and I wanted
to spend more time with her without traveling so much.
Back-to-back Florida stories back-to-back.
Florida's a hot button. It is, plus I wanted to
experience actual seasons so I thought.
After I told my dad the news, hedecided to move to Mississippi
with me. I bought a house and two months

(58:35):
later he bought his. Everything was going well, we
were spending almost every weekend together and actually
having family time. It was great but the thought of
moving out of state came up. My mom bug bugged me for months
about going on a Halloween cruise with her.
I continued to tell her no. At the time they required
everyone to have the COVID vaccines and boosters.

(58:55):
I was not going to get that shit.
She was determined so she got all of them.
Probably too many. A Halloween cruise is already
scary. A cruise period.
Yeah, a cruise. That's what I'm saying.
But it's Halloween themed. I could go to a haunted house,
not be afraid, put me on a cruise and be like, that guy's
terrified of me. I'm like throwing up on the
side. I'm like, fucking hell, I just,

(59:16):
I couldn't do it. Hey, you're high in the air
because it's a big ship, and then you're out in the middle of
the ocean. Well, they've got like those
stories of like where they breakdown in the middle of the ocean
and they're all stuck there. And I'm like, that's the most
terrifying thing. Like if a plane goes down, I'm
dead. It's all good.
Like I'm done. But like being stuck out there.
And then yeah, like if it goes down or it's just stuck out
there and you end up dying of food poisoning or some crazy

(59:38):
thing like, Nah, I don't no part.
Indianapolis. I don't know where the ship got
shot down and they got in the water and all the fucking
sharks. Yeah, the what?
Fuck. I'm trying to think of the shark
name Oceanic whitetips, not a Yeah.
So oceanic whitetips are a species that stays on like the

(01:00:00):
open ocean and the open ocean there's not a lot of fish.
So if. You anything moving?
Yeah, if it comes like they willeat you.
Fast forward to cruise time. The weekend of Halloween 2022.
She comes back extremely sick. So bad that my sister called me
and my mom or called me and saidmom was hallucinating and just
not acting right. We go to the hospital.

(01:00:21):
She's released just before Thanksgiving.
We have Thanksgiving at my houseat this time.
She is now on oxygen. A couple weeks go by and she is
doing better. The home health nurse was only
coming by once a week. She had improved so much.
A week later I decided to travelto Nashville for the weekend
since she was doing better. I get a call early the the next
morning from my son who was staying there at the time saying

(01:00:43):
he found my mom on the floor in a room and she was dead.
This was December 17th, 2022. So April 22 April 2022, they go
on a cruise. I think that's when they bought
the house. The thing that sucks is that
some dates have like the month and then other ones have the

(01:01:04):
formatted date. Oh yeah, yeah.
So. That's when they bought the
house was in August of. 2727 is July.
July. OK, so and then fuck.
And then they go on the. Next one because that one was
Halloween so that's OK. And then in December, dead.
As you recall, my sister is on the deed but could not afford

(01:01:28):
that brand new house all by herself.
She didn't even contribute to the down payment and was barely
helping with regular monthly expenses.
So I suggested she should. She could either sell it or find
a roommate to help. Well, she found a roommate, a
veteran who was down on his luckbut worked full time.
This is the plot of a Tyler Perry movie.

(01:01:48):
This is the plot of a Tyler Perry movie.
Here it goes. All right, this is Jay Sean.
She continued to take his money,950 a month and spend it
frivolous, frivolously. I wouldn't have been able to get
that out if my tongue did not hurt X or fuck.
I tried to come up with a betterword.
I couldn't do it. Frivolously.

(01:02:09):
Yeah, there you go. Frivolously.
Frivolously. There you go, you got it.
Frivolously. That's fucked.
That's fucked. No more.
No more FRIVOL words because my mouth could not make that
multiple Amazon boxes were beingdelivered daily.
The home eventually goes into pre foreclosure and she said

(01:02:30):
nothing to this man. I wanted to say something
immediately, but my husband urged me to stay out of it.
After an auction date was set, someone needed to tell him so he
could prepare to find another place to live.
My son, who is currently in seminary school training to
become a minister, felt obligated to say something,
which he did. After that, he stopped paying
her. This is a Tyler Perry.

(01:02:52):
This is a plot to a Tyler Perry movie.
I'm almost 100% sure. I'm I'm almost 100% sure this is
a plot to a toddler movie. Side note, she has four cats and
does not clean like an adult with four cats so I'm sure you
can imagine the smell now. She's now infatuated with this
dude who has been evicted sheriff literally throwing him
out multiple times. He also sells porn at these

(01:03:15):
conventions. Obviously he's not that good if
he's getting evicted and not paying rent.
OK, we're not in the Taliban. No we're not.
He ain't made a movie on this yet.
He's not like a down on down on his luck porn star just trying
to fucking make it in life. Oh something else for her to
waste money on. And yes, she has brought many.

(01:03:35):
She has bought many. Hoping he would eventually take
interest in her cat pissed smelling self.
Well, I think that might be a different guy.
He's not the guy that was livingthere.
Maybe. I don't know.
I don't remember reading all theway through.
This She's now infatuated with this dude who has been evicted.
I think it might be a different guy, no So like.
He never got evicted, he just didn't he.

(01:03:56):
Still doesn't know. I thought this was the OK this
we're back on Tyler Perry movie.Yep, this is the villain, and
she likes a villain. Porn star sells porn at
convention. Porn who?
Who goes to a convention? Well, I mean, unless you're
selling it to like websites or something like.
There, you know, put a couple, put a couple of fucking Usbs on

(01:04:17):
people's. Yeah, there you go in a Walmart
parking lot. That's how you do it.
Look, that's how you make a big.That's an entrepreneur right
there. Yep.
My mother worked her ass off andput 100% of the down payment on
that house just for her to treatit this way and take advantage
of people. The only way she was ever going
to own a home was with my mother's help.

(01:04:38):
She has since filed for something with the mortgage
mortgage company after the auction was set and was able to
delay it. How long I don't know.
Now she's not even spending timewith our father who moved out,
who moved over 1000 miles to be closer to everyone.
She has blocked me on everythingbecause she thinks I told her
roommate and because I don't agree with how she's living.
She missed our Memorial Day lunch because she was at a comic

(01:05:01):
convention because she was at I want to make sure OK because
this story is getting crazy. She She missed our Memorial Day
lunch because she was at a comicconvention selling her gay pride
and trans crap that she wasted more money on.
She didn't sell one item becausethese items were knitted by her.

(01:05:25):
OK and she sucks, she is delusional.
I continue to watch the foreclosure listings to see if
the house is listed yet. So am I the asshole for getting
involved or should I stayed out of it?
This is there's more to this delusional woman, but this story
is already too long, sorry. Well, thank you for recognizing
that. I first I thought I said selling

(01:05:48):
gay porn because there was a porn guy.
So I was like they're selling gay porn now and trans stuff.
I was like what the fuck is going on?
Like he convinced he convinced her, but instead of him doing it
with her, which I mean they're they're in the same house.
Well, I don't think it's that make money.
Once again, I think that's a second guy involved in the
story. I don't think it's the.
I mean, he got better in, so at one point he was there.

(01:06:12):
OK, maybe I don't know, but I don't know how the story
actually plays out. But I would stay so far away
from this. Like there's no fucking way.
Like I would get involved in this.
Like just let the house go. Like I get that your mom paid
money, but like, your mom's gone.
Like just let your sister sink or swim, do her thing.
Like it's not going to affect anybody else.

(01:06:32):
No. So she person who wrote that's a
Republican, by the way, there's all that gay pride and trans
crap. I ain't getting no motherfuking
vaccine, baby. I can't put that shit in my God
damn body. Yeah, it's wild to see when
people like, and I know they exist and it's not, but like

(01:06:55):
when you see somebody that's like hard, hard, right?
And they're like in that category.
And then you're like, wait, what?
Bro gays don't even be doing nothing anymore they just catch
strays for no reason. Like you don't hear shit from
gay people anymore they're just like.
But every time they got to get lumped in whatever's going on,
vaccines, come on gay people. We're going to hate on y'all to

(01:07:16):
trans. Come on gay people.
They're the punching bag. Now I really, I don't see any
like creators that are like, youknow, or how it used to be where
like there would be the antagonistic like or this was
going on, something crazy was going on, nothing like that.
So like I said, it's been prettyquiet for gay people.

(01:07:37):
They have settled into the to the melting pot of America, but
still. Still get the, just just.
Getting Dr. Bys for no reason. For no reason?
Yeah, just let the house go. Maybe make some born, I don't
know. Let your sister go.
Just yeah. She's like, there's no say
saving her. She's an adult doing her own
thing. That was a Tyler Perry movie.

(01:07:57):
I want to see. I want to read you the plot.
What would be like? I haven't watched many Tyler
Perry movies. I.
Can't think of the names becausethey're always fucking
different. Someone said someone commented
on Spotify. Sorry to hear about Mike's
upcoming suicide. That's the Denny's meet.

(01:08:24):
So this is just a quiet period in here.
Oh, we're getting another Labor Llama call from telling us that
our Google listing is not. Oh yeah.
By the I'm not going to do that because that is boring me.
Just looking him up on yeah. And I, I think I'm right, like

(01:08:45):
the the veteran is not the same guy.
The. Guy that he's interested in we
came to that conclusion because but my brain's obviously going
to think back you're. Still going back to like them
because. She didn't say there was this
other guy. Yeah, no, it's just what I just.
Thought he had got evicted I guess at that point.
No, this is that's how my brain took it.
He's like a deadbeat dude. Yeah, because she never, she

(01:09:05):
never evicted him. So this was another guy, which I
mean, I guess you know, was she still or she was infatuated that
with that guy, right? With the porn selling guy.
Why kick him out then? He doesn't live at the house.
Yeah, but she evicted him. What the fuck are you talking
about? They're two different guys.
Yes, I understand this. If she's infatuated with the

(01:09:27):
guy, yeah, why did she evict himfrom the house?
She didn't. It's a different guy.
There's a guy that is living there that they they.
Military guy, but this guy also also used to live with her.
This is another roommate. I don't think that they said
that there was a second roommate.
Like this is just a guy she's infatuated with.
She's now infatuated with this dude who has been evicted.
Sheriff literally throwing him out multiple times.

(01:09:49):
OK, so this was from a separate thing.
Yeah, it's like a different guy.So you have a story about a guy
like paying rent when you shouldn't be paying rent because
the house again. And then there's another guy who
got evicted. I didn't know it was from a
different one. I thought she evicted the guy
at. Least that's the way I read it.
It's like weirdly written like she didn't like spell it all out
because like really the the veteran guy kind of disappeared
in the story anyways. Like it was like my son told

(01:10:11):
him. But I think the porn selling
other guy is a different guy. I like the one where she's like
buying a lot of his porn. To try and get him to get in his
favor. It's like a guy, a guy with a
stripper, Yeah, He's like, Nah, bro.
She's like really like when she talks to me because he is
different. When she talks to everybody

(01:10:31):
else, well, yeah, because you give her a lot of money.
I feel a connection with her. That's why I would never go to a
strip club. I just it's not a cup of tea.
I will probably end up at another one at some point for
well actually all my friends aremarried that will get married so
probably won't anymore. But that's most of the time that
I went to a strip club was for one.

(01:10:52):
Wedding. Really.
That's it. Ever.
Yep, maybe 2. Well, you had to go to your mom
and step dad's wedding right when he proposed with the the
joint. Yeah, but they never, no,
they've never got married. Oh, they didn't.
They had the what do they call it when you're together for
8:00? Years civil union or Yeah or

(01:11:12):
Yeah domestic partnership. They never actually had the.
Big ceremony. The ceremony, Me and my wife
didn't have a ceremony. We just had a, we went to court
courthouse. Yeah.
I mean, I felt obligated to be there too.
So it was a it was a very weird situation.
What for yours? Yeah, you have to be there.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, cuz I was like, oh man, this lady's

(01:11:33):
pregnant. I'm just like, fuck it, I got to
be a man. I got to stop doing drugs.
Boo. But you didn't Start Stop
immediately, right? No, I kept it going for a little
while. Yeah, we had like the most
beautiful wedding ever, so. Really.
I've never got married in the backyard and.
Oh yeah, you told me about. That my dad officiated your.
Friend cooked some bomb ass steaks because ever since you

(01:11:55):
told me that story I wanted him to come and just cook some
steaks. He comes down to the Outer Banks
once a year and so I need to, I need to go out there and meet
him out there. If only you didn't have to cross
an 8 mile bridge of terror. Yeah, I mean, if it breaks, then
you're just dead. You're fucked.
Yeah, that's. I mean.
Sharks, yeah. Brought it back on Outer Banks
too. They have great whites because

(01:12:17):
they're farther out. I'd go out there.
You know well. You could just do a fairy, can't
you? Like I think you can come
through the. Backside about sharks, man, I
really want to do a shark podcast.
Shark Week or tornado or tornadoyou?
Can do a shark week and you talkabout period stories and.
Then I think I could talk about people getting ate by sharks.
Because it was an animal during.That way we're not monetized.

(01:12:39):
So that's dope. But we could like, if we
monetize it, we can do where like their family would get the
money because I just can't. I can't like keep dropping
names, telling somebody's whole story and then like, share and
subscribe, bitches. Yeah, and you can't not use
names. I can't not, well, I can't.
I couldn't tell a shark story because everybody's like, oh,

(01:12:59):
that was Daniel, blah blah blah who got fucked up by a shark.
Well, people that are real into the shark stories, yeah.
Did you ever see that Egyptian Egypt shark attack video?
No rough. That's the roughest one I've
ever seen. Listen, go looking for him once
again. I don't like I don't like seeing
death or anything like that, butit's like an I don't know, it's

(01:13:20):
like a like a someone was like here's a video of a guy getting
shot, his head blown off. I was like, fuck no, but like
when it's like, you know, this guy got attacked by a bear and
we have a video, you'll peak man.
Curious. And so it starts off, he's
getting attacked by the shark and he's like yelling Papa,
which fucking. Oh yeah, that's fucked.
That's rough, you know, and he'sthat's a, you know, like a 23

(01:13:43):
year old guy PP like that fucking and the shark spins them
upside down like you see fuckingIt's rough.
It is rough. See, Facebook has been given me
and I don't know why. Like I, I think I might have
like stopped in my scroll for like a fight video.
And so now like my feed has likeevery like 10 things like fights

(01:14:03):
and you know, funny or somethinglike that.
And it's always like some trashypeople just beating the shit out
of each other. My Facebook doesn't even like.
Work right? Mine doesn't either.
Mine's like all glitchy. That's mine yeah.
Mine's been all glitchy for like2 weeks now.
Well, like I'll click on somebody's post where it's like
3 photos and then it says +5 andI'll click on the +5 and it
stops at that one it. Looks like it's it's been going

(01:14:26):
on for like 2. Weeks.
Do you guys have that problem too?
Look, he's still on his Oh my God.
I wonder how many comments are on it.
Oh, he's looking back at the theFriend drama.
But look, look how glitchy it is.
Oh, it doesn't even want to scroll.
Yeah, it's, it's terrible. Fix your shit, Mark. 30, There's
thirty of them. Oh, boy. 30 comments.
Yeah. Well, listen, guys, this has
been a great episode of Mike andDylan Hate Hate Drama.

(01:14:49):
If you would like to, if you want us to read a story from you
or give you some advice, go to mikeanddylan.com.
MIKEANDDY. lan.com. That's good.
Yep. And hopefully next time I'm not
slurring like a motherfucker andI can actually move my tongue
off the side of my mouth. So we'll see you next time
later.

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