The Guy Who HIRED Me, I Got Em FIRED AITA?!?! | MADHD EP39 |

A listener shares how he got his supervisor fired for sexual harassment after documenting disgusting behavior toward female coworkers. But when the boss loses his health insurance and has diabetes, was our listener wrong? Mike shares his own haunting story about getting a coworker fired who later died.

00:00:00 Everyday I'm Hustlin'

00:05:22 Ozzy Osbourne's death and drug habits

00:10:15 Government debt and conspiracy theories

00:15:45 Religious freedom vs. forcing beliefs

00:25:30 MAIN STORY: Boss fired for sexual harassment

00:35:12 Mike's haunting Tommy story

00:42:18 Politics and angry people discussion

00:50:45 Advice segment and future plansCONNECT WITH US:📧 Submit stories: MikeandDylan.com🔴 Subscribe for unfiltered advice💬 Join our subreddit: r/MADHD

You can listen to the more concise podcast "2 Daddies Judging Baddies" or stick with MADHD for the deep dives and rambling stories they're known for.

Submit your own drama for Mike and Dylan to solve at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://MikeAndDylan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or join the conversation on their new subreddit r/MADHD ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.reddit.com/r/MADHD/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or leave a voicemail at ‪[phone]‬

About LaborLama

When they're not solving your drama or unpacking generational trauma, Mike and Dylan are behind LaborLama, a clothing brand dedicated to creating comfortable, quality clothes for people who work hard. Unlike those shady print-on-demand companies sending you mismatched shirts that fall apart after one wash, Labor Llama delivers clothing worth your hard-earned money. Check out their quality apparel at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://laborlama.com

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Bear nimble bow down Mike and Dylan hate drama, but the Bow
Wow welcome to Mike and Dylan hate hate drama where we slowly
in front of your eyes lose our house home.
Is it really that slowly? Because I feel it's pretty.
Rapid. It's pretty quick when you think
about it. When we do the documentary, when

(00:22):
I'm out in the streets with someYouTube in my face, going to be
like, this is the guy that made the forklift jokes.
Can you make a forklift joke forus guys?
I'm just like sitting there likeforklift certified, Forklift
certified. Like fucking just be like, Nah,
just give me $20.00 so I can getsome more meth or crack.
I don't know which one. Yeah, I don't know which one I'm
going to be addicted to. So we're going through this

(00:45):
problem right now where it's like, I don't know, if we're not
like pushing something, platforms just ain't fucking
with us. I don't know what to do with
that on that. TikTok wants us to push labor
llama but then won't let us makemoney off of the videos that
then get pushed by labor llama because like they want us to
sell so they get a cut, but thenthey don't want to pay us either

(01:05):
which way because like ultimately we don't actually
make money off of Labor llama right now.
Correct. It's it's literally it's passion
project. We got a lot of those.
Everything's a passion project. And I'm telling you what,
passion is waning. Passion is waning.
Ozzy Osbourne died. Yeah, that's that was.
One of the first C DS I ever hadwas the Black Sabbath album.

(01:26):
Yeah, that's, it's very sad. I immediately, within 30
minutes, like made a joke about it and people were like too
soon. And I'm like, Ozzy would have
liked all it. Was and the thing was is he
literally outlived anybody that did the stuff that he did.
Ross Simmons is the funniest one.
The funniest one that he outlived the guy who did all the
workout shit and the healthy stuff.

(01:48):
So Russell Simmons made it to 76and one day Ozzie made it to 76
and seven months. So whoever tells you to go, and
I need to take this advice too, but whoever tells you to stop
like smoking and quit doing drugs, fuck them Like they're
just trying to hate on you and they want you to live a less
happy life. So you go out there, you do them

(02:10):
drugs, right? Where's?
Mick Jagger at on this. He's still kicking, ain't he?
Did he die? Does he do a lot of drugs?
He just fucks a lot of women, don't he?
I thought he was like a big drugguy too.
I don't know. I never listen to the Stones,
really. Everybody always.
They're one of those ones that like, everybody's like, Oh my
God. And I'm like, I haven't.
Like they've got some good songs, but I never am like, I
want to listen to the what's. So funny too, is like, you know,

(02:31):
women were obsessed with Mick Jagger, fucking obsessed with
them. And all I all I knew was old
Mick Jagger. So I'm just like, what the fuck
is? And then I saw pictures of him
young, and I was like, you know what?
I'd suck his Dick. No, what else happened?
I mean, now also, I think, you know, in better news, something

(02:54):
that's a little bit more uplifting, you can now Venmo the
United States government to pay off the debt.
I mean, they're in a deeper thanwe are.
Like they're. The good thing with them,
though, is like, they're just like, oh, no, we don't default.
No, we don't default. That's right.
We don't get to tell the banks like, no, don't take my house.
We're not defaulting yet. All the millionaires struggle

(03:18):
looking at that big old debt number that affects them
Absolutely. And no, no degree whatsoever.
And to know that I can send themmoney on Venmo, money that has
been taxed tremendously. And the interest on it because
like every dollar that technically the Federal Reserve
gets gives us is debt dollar because like technically the

(03:42):
government owes back more than that dollars worth for having
the dollar. So it's literally like.
We tried perpetual to stop a Federal Reserve in history.
Let's do it now. Then all it took was JP Morgan
saying he is going to withdraw his money from the banks, which
caused everybody to go withdraw their money from the banks,
which caused the banking system to collapse and propelled us

(04:04):
into the Great Depression. And then it was like, oh, well,
you know how we can get out of this, right?
You know, we could just, you know, start a little Federal
Reserve, borrow some money from them, start stimulating the
economy, and then bam, here we go.
I think. There's for all of eternity.
I think there's a lot more to it.
I watched a guy like break it down and like it's it's wild to
see how because basically the when the IT was signed into to

(04:29):
law, like the president before that didn't want to do any of
that. But it was just.
Like basically strong armed intomaking a decision.
Through the Great Depression andall that shit.
And look, people will be like, what's a conspiracy to say that,
you know, the things are ran by the Illuminati?

(04:51):
OK, OK, look, I get you. We might not know the name, all
right? But if you say if you look at
somebody and be like, you know, there's a select few families
that are like, really on top of the world people, everybody be
like, yeah, yeah, right, Right. And if you got like a little
club like that, wouldn't you want a cool little nickname?
Yeah, sure, sure. And I'm like, all right, So
Illuminati. And they're like, Nah,

(05:12):
conspiracy theorist. I like.
No, no, like we understand that the families that were very,
very rich well before the Rockefellers, Morgan, that, you
know, at 1.1 point was had more money than the United States
government. So it's just once you say

(05:36):
Illuminati, people are like, oh,get your tinfoil hats on.
But you could be like, do you agree that rich people were in
the country? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're in a cool little select organization like that.
You don't want a nickname? No, I would love a nickname.
Illuminati. No.
You. Lost and I think the hard part
is, is like the connotation thatcomes with the Illuminati and
like the other shit that they talk about, like I'm the name

(06:01):
does not matter as much as what is happening.
And I think that's the part. And This is why like it's just
fucking insane that people are still like, yeah, but my teams,
my teams, the good one. And it's like, no, no, no, like
they're all fucking bond paid. Like all of them that we're,
we're just like literally being LED around by our nose by this
group that everybody agrees exists.
It's there. There's the rich people that

(06:22):
have that power that, you know, like, you know, love or hate
Donald Trump, he's not actually the guy in charge.
Like you can say that he is. And yeah, to a point.
But there's people that are actually like, you know what?
Let's not release the Epstein list.
So it will there there never wasan Epstein list, Dylan.
Gosh, let's not talk about things that I mean, essentially
when you bring up the Epstein, that's Bigfoot.
Like there's no. Just like there's no Illuminati.

(06:45):
There was, there was never a list.
There was. We thought there was a list and
there was definite proof. And they just.
There was files, you know, but not yeah, they gave out some
names from the make believe files that were definitely there
that they had proof of that never existed.
Correct. But once again, I wonder how
deep we have to go to the conspiracy tunnel before we get

(07:07):
the black vans pulling up. I don't think we're not actually
like it would we would. We would have money and we would
be able to pay our mortgages if the black vans were pulling up
because that would mean enough people heard the crazy shit that
we're saying. So like, we really don't have to
worry about. That how sad would it be to just
die poor like that would suck. Just we're just going to, we're
going to preemptively take them out.

(07:28):
We're going to take them out before they get a name that
would suck so much Dick. Well, it was crazy.
I was, I, I had, I've been buying a lot of shit on
Marketplace for like exercise equipment and stuff.
And so I have to drive back to Charlotte and like hours away in
order to pick up all this stuff.And so I've been listening to
podcasts a lot more, which I think you should do.

(07:49):
As well, you should check out I can delineate drama.
That's a good one, yeah. But I, I know the guys
personally and I, I don't trust them, so I just listen to
something else and. Stuff.
That one seems kind of sheisty. No, he's the one that like I
he's entertaining the other guysjust like, you know, blowhard.
But so I was listening to Joe Rogan because I haven't listened

(08:10):
to many of his episodes recently.
And for one thing, you really like the best time to listen to
a podcast is driving or work. But you know, I work with you
and we can't really listen to podcasts while we make podcasts.
Right. But yeah, I was listening and he
had this guy from, I think it was like James Talico or
something, something. He's like a Texas representative
and it was just refreshing to hear a legit politician.

(08:36):
Like he doesn't get paid. Like he's like, I think it's
like $7000 a year they make. But like, obviously you can't
have another job while you do it.
So most of the people that do itare like independently wealthy
or like have a silver spoon. And so like some of them are
jaded, but like it was just interesting to hear him and the
conversations that he has with he's a Democrat, but he is like

(08:58):
also going to be a minister. And so the whole podcast started
talking about like the 10 commandments in schools and like
Texas is like fighting to have the 10 commandments put in
schools. And it eventually gets around to
like who is footing the bill forall this at the end of the
episode, Like spoiler alert if you haven't listened to it, but
it obviously, you know, it's podcasts.

(09:18):
So they go on a lot of stuff. But there's two guys in Texas
that are like billionaires and they're also like, they made
their money in like oil and gas and stuff like that, but now
they're mega church preachers. And so they are the ones like
financing all the politics. So they're trying to get rid of
public school. They're trying to put prayer in
all the schools. Basically, they're aiming to

(09:40):
make a theocracy. And this guy, the Democrat is
also Christian, but he's like, that's not what we should be
doing. Like Christian, like his two
facets of Christian of Christianity is like you got to
love God and love your neighbor.Those are the only two things
that he says Jesus really like was on about was love God and
love your neighbor. And he's like, other than that,

(10:00):
like we're fucking up like worrying about like gay people
and transgender and all this other like abortion.
No, just love God, love your neighbor.
And but then like he pulled backthe curtain of like, who's
behind all? Gay look as ask someone who
feels like they can speak on thethe Christians in America look

(10:22):
why like if y'all are already going to paradise, why do y'all
got to like control everything here?
I get it. You believe that you have the
ticket to paradise and I'm not the one to tell you that you
know this is fake. This is what happened.
I'm not the guy to tell you that.
I am the guy to say if someone doesn't believe in what you
believe in, that's cool. Like you don't have to then try

(10:44):
to like force it down every day,especially when you believe that
you are going to paradise. So why do you got to fucking
shape this into your paradise? Also, I love, listen, I love a
good pair of titties. I love me a good pair of
titties. I'm not going to have someone
say, hey, you fucking look at titties, fucking masturbate,
you're going to hell. And then the fucking they, a lot

(11:06):
of them turn around and fuck kids, man.
It's so fucking weird. Look, how about this?
How about, how about if you wantyour kid to have the 10
commandments at school, put it on his fucking notebook.
Let him just like walk in there,have your kids take a Bible to
school and preach the word of God.
Because I guarantee you, as soonas I'm kids step out of that
fucking out of your car, they'regoing to stuff in that Bible

(11:28):
deep in their book bag and not fucking talking about it.
How about just you go do that. You fucking spend your life.
Go just go spend your life doingthat.
Like make that your life's work.Fucking quit what you're doing.
Quit making money. That's a worldly thing.
Quit making money. Just go out and 100% just
dedicate your life to preach about God.
You do that, OK? And then everybody else can just
live there like normally, OK? We ain't gotta go to like a

(11:49):
school or anything like that andfucking start praying because
the same person that's like, yeah, we need to like hold these
prayers in church and fucking, you know, we got to get the kids
while they're in school. Yeah, in school are the same
ones talking shit about like Muslim people fucking praying.
They'll be like, look at that weird shit.
Yeah, look at that weird shit where you force children in a
school to pray to God because you believe in.

(12:10):
And not not their God. Like that's one of the things
that like he was talking about is like when you force this
version of a religion on to somebody, it makes them actually
push away from it because they're not coming to it because
they've been invited into it. They're being forced.
It's like when you make your kiddo chores, like they're not like
excited to like be like I'm a responsible young kid.

(12:31):
No, they don't want to do the fucking dishes, but it
eventually helps them grow and stuff like that.
But like it's if you try to pushreligion.
It's like the church girl sucking all the Dicks in the
church van bro seen it. We seen it like we, you've lived
it like people listen to the pocket.
Like yeah, we knew her like that.
I mean, I mean, that's, that's fucking, it's so crazy, man.
You just don't, you don't have to push your religion on people.

(12:52):
There's thousands, there's thousands of religions.
And I get it. Everybody wants to be right.
Ain't nobody got proof. You just got to have faith.
Look, you figure it out when youdie, I don't think God is going
to hate you because you didn't believe in the specific version
of him. That man told you once, like I
said once, once a religion tellsyou to obey the laws of the

(13:13):
land. That's when it was written by
man. That's when it was written by
man. Because essentially with like
religion, religion is supposed to kind of have be that, you
know, escape from like whatever you're in.
Like think of like every religious story and they're
being slaves and slaves freed and shit like that and countries
being freed by this guy, this deity that's like, you know,

(13:35):
rebel and all this shit. Bro, once you say, hey, you
should, you should obey the lawsof the land no matter what they
are, because that's what God would want you to do.
Like, OK, God, if I'm reading this in fucking somewhere where
they're like, oh, we'll be edgy for believing in this, so don't
believe in it. You know, I'm saying like that's
where it contradicts yourself, bro.
Look, I believe in God, OK? I believe that God gave us

(14:00):
absolute free will, which means there's no divine intervention
whatsoever. I also believe like, you know,
he plays the role of father. He's there to like God and
support. That's where your conscience
comes from is where if you're going to go do something bad,
you're like, oh man, I'm fuckingup.
Or if you know what I'm saying, like, oh, I need to do this,
like fucking the inspiration andshit like that.
Besides that, bro, fucking live your God damn life like that is

(14:21):
live your fucking life like you're not going to piss off God
because you coveted that neighbor's ass.
All right, if she got a donkey covered, that bitch, but he's
not going to hate you of it. Like you're not going to sit
there and hate your kid because your kid fucks up.
See, that was one of the things that he was talking about
because like he's going to seminary school and all that,
but like they he was talking. About seminary school.

(14:43):
God, they just can't get away from sex.
Jesus Christ. So they were talking about like
how the country was founded and a lot of the, a lot of the
founders and, you know, the people that signed the
Declaration of Independence and everything, they were Deists.
They weren't Christians. They weren't, you know,
Baptists. They weren't, you know, Jews or

(15:03):
anything like that. They were literally just Deus,
which means it's kind of like what you your theory on it is
like there is something. But like they were so enthralled
with like how physics and all these things work together and
like the natural order of things.
And so they, the way that James had explained it, like how he
viewed their deism was that theywere like, God was like the

(15:28):
ultimate like clock maker. He made the clock and then he he
bounced out. So like he made this whole
setup, the system that works together and everything like
kind of coincides and they all all the things work together,
but the clock maker is gone. Like he's he's worrying about
making another clock somewhere else, not worried about our
little like happenings that are going on right in this moment.
It's not like, you know, he's like he's with you right now,

(15:51):
Mike. And so that's the way that he
kind of broke down the way that the founders were is like, you
know, they they were more like in like Masons and things like
that where it was you have to believe in a higher power, but
it doesn't matter which higher power it is because also one of
the things that he brought up like it was a really good
episode of. Overalls, why do you have to
believe in higher power to be a Mason?
I think it's maybe. You guys should just turn off

(16:12):
this podcast and go turn on thatJoe Rogan one because it sounds
like that guy has a way more information.
It no, and I'm not like, I mean of the value is the the
conversations that are happening, but like ultimately,
like what what he was getting atwas that it's not each religion
for the most part says like be good to your neighbor, like be

(16:33):
good to the people that you don't know and like treat them
well. Like don't be vengeful, don't be
hateful, don't be all these things.
And like that's the premise of most religions.
And then it gets perverted by those like leading like.
It's so weird that people will look at these fucking preachers
of these mega churches and be like those are the good guys.
That's what God. Wants he wants him to have
forges. Who is that literal demon like?

(16:55):
He's a little bro. If you talk, if you told me, if
you, I was like, go point out just the absolute ghoul.
What is his name? I know Pat Robertson.
No, the one that said about the plane yeah he'd need the plane.
Don't you question me. Y'all know who I'm talking
about? It's almost like bro, point out
a literal ghoul. A fucking just a near duel, a

(17:15):
near dueling demon. That would be like that guy.
Well, like out of everybody, that guy all.
Of them are mixed into shit because like Pat Robertson has a
bunch of like diamond mines in Africa, like blood diamond type
shit. And so like all these he's like,
they're not good. Like fucking home dude down in
Georgia. What's his name that like or

(17:37):
where was it? Where there was the hurricane
and he he had the mega church where people could like go?
Oh. And he shut it off.
Yeah, he shut it off. He's.
Just like no, you can't come in and you can't come in my.
Church, you're going to fucking Yeah, You're going to get dirt
and mud on my carpets. Like, no, that is exactly what
God would not want. And then all these churches.
Yeah. Joel Osteen.
Joel Osteen. Yeah, Osteen.
There you go. And then it's just, it's just

(17:58):
like, like preachers, like putting bars up so homeless
can't like sleep under the awning of a church and shit
like, and it's just like, guys, if you sit there and you're
like, this is what God wanted, Ihate to tell you, you're part of
the bad side. Like if you read something and
you're like, there's a good and there's a bad yin and Yang.
Look, every religion, every everything in life has the

(18:19):
duality of good bad. OK, If you're sitting there and
you're like a homeless person who's probably dealing with some
form of mental illness, PTSD, whatever, and you're like, oh,
nasty national, national fuckingtragedy happens.
I'm not allowing people in. Guess what?
You're part of the bad team. Also, we could start a mega
church because look, they make so much money, bro.

(18:42):
I remember, I remember being like 18 and there used to be
infomercials for miracle water. You drink the water.
Yeah, you get the miracle water.I don't know if you drink it if
you fucking put it in a necklace, but bro, it was real
infomercials. It was not a comedy skit, but it

(19:02):
was like, I bought my miracle water and two weeks later I got
a check from the government for $50,000.
And I'm just like, what? And it's like this fucking
preacher gets on big fat guy. He's like, if you want miracle
water, blessings happen when youhave miracle water.
Miracle water is a godly water. And then bro, the whole time
this thing is playing, it's likeBible, Bible fucking texts of

(19:25):
just like small print is like rushing across the screen like
yeah, fucking none of this shit is like it's trying to explain
everything. Well, you just got this old
black lady that's just like child, when I got my when I got
my holy water, I had diabetes inmy left leg and it was gone
immediately. And I was walking and I was
dancing right to my church and Iwas just like, how is this

(19:48):
legal? Like, hey, how is this legal?
B? Who the fuck is watching this?
Like, well, gotta give me some fucking miracle water.
I gotta give me some goddamn miracle water right now.
I remember watching like the PatPat Robertson stuff and I don't
mean to just be picking on this guy, but like I remember
watching it and he'd like have like his little prayer section
of his show and he's like. Feel somebody in, in Minnesota,

(20:11):
they are suffering from back pain and God said heal you.
And like, they're just like healing people.
Not even like not even even likethrough the phone, like like,
hey, I got, I got this back painor something.
Just like, Oh yeah, no, I, I seehim and I sense and oh, oh, and
God's going to heal you right now.
And like, it's like once you start sensing somebody from a
different state, that's witchcraft, that's the devil,

(20:32):
that's the devil, you can't start.
That's so fucking good though. But we could do it, man, cuz
there's enough. And then just sending.
Sending some money. I even got the preacher voice.
I just get up there and the God,he has said, oh, I'm feeling it
right now. I see a man in Minnesota, his
name was Ricky. He's about 5-9 with brown hair.
Oh God, Oh Lord, Ricky's dealingwith the back problems.

(20:55):
Oh God, I feel Ricky right now. He's sitting on his couch
dealing with these back problems.
Lord the Lord help him. Lord, help him heal this man.
Lord heal him and he's walking right now and then like
everybody just clacking No nobody seen nothing.
I mean Ricky is Rick is dancing in this house.
Oh my God, Brother Bobby show, show him how Ricky is dancing

(21:17):
and Brother Bobby just that's how it stands right there.
And everybody's like, Oh my God,a miracle.
Now sending at least 10% of yourearnings to 188.
Pastor Greg locked the doors. Now y'all ain't y'all ain't
getting out of this here establishment until I get 75750.
Nope, Nope. Lord's telling me $85,000 bro,

(21:39):
we could do it, man. I see I got the preacher voice
too. I just, I get out there and the
devil's smasher and I ain't evengot to make sense.
Like none of us got to make sense.
You know, Daniel, Daniel, he wasin the he was in the damn with
the lions and the damn with the lions, Lord.
And and then God said, no lions,not today.
You ain't going to eat my, you ain't going to eat Daniel today.

(22:00):
And and then you walked out and everybody go back and you know
who else? You know who else walked out?
Poverty, poverty. Right.
As soon as you put that $100 bill in that offering plate
right there, I swear to God, look, it'll be we can, we can do
it in like 2 minute sections of like preaching 5 minute sections
of less like give me your money crowdfunding.
Speaking of which, Speaking of Speaking of taking people's

(22:22):
Bunny, me and Dylan was thinkingabout like doing a Patreon.
I know people are gonna be like,God, Michael, you, you were
always like, you know, that's the last thing I want to do.
It is the last thing. This is it.
We're at that point. We're at the we're at the we're
at the the the finale. We are.
So what we're thinking about wasdoing like a Patreon like
episode. It sucks.

(22:43):
I don't want to but one, one perlike we would like to go back to
doing 3, three episodes of each per week, but then ultimately
we're not getting paid anything across the board for anything.
So for those that would like to hear that third one, we would
like to just bring that one backas a.
I'm sensing right now, Yeah. You're listening to this podcast
in your car. You got a, you got $10 in your

(23:06):
bank account. You're like, I don't know who to
give this to, but I think, yeah,we're going to.
We should call it Mike and Dylandon't want to live in a box.
Yeah, I think that would be a that would be a good name for
it. What?
Mike and Dylan, so it's mad. Mike and Dylan.
I I yeah, I mean, I guess don't want to live in a box or don't
want to be homeless. Like let.

(23:26):
Me. Think of one mad mad.
Oh man, I want to make it mad cock or something like that.
Mad shit. I'll have a yeah, I'll have by
Wednesday. I have a fucking, I have AI have
an acronym for it. By the next episode I'll have
I'll have an acronym for it. But man, we could do the fucking
chart. So I got that right now by by
the courthouse. There's so many documentaries on

(23:48):
how these people just. Like and nobody reads the Bible
too like so look, I'm gonna havea crap full of people and be
like in first Tabitha sees chapter 5.
God said Michael. The name Michael is the chosen
one that you need to get. I could I could give them like
the child of prophecy, like fromNaruto shit and just be like

(24:12):
there was a boy who will bring great peace or great destruction
because BAM, there you go. You got all the prophecy right.
There was this one lady that waslike they're they're hell and
hers like the new Nostradamus onTikTok because she was like, you
know, I predict a tragedy with ariver.
I hate, I hate because bro, look.

(24:32):
I'm gonna. I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm going to ruin your
whole like Nostradamus, if you believe in people who can like
foretell the future. So there's a thing called like,
it's like pseudo prophecies. I could be like, you know, I
predict a it's it's a, it's a gun.
It shoots multiple rounds a minute and it's going to be at a

(24:55):
park. And in eight months from now
when a park gets shut up becauseGod, we love shooting up parks.
Listen, that's American. That's American going into an
establishment with a lot of people and shooting it up.
That is at this point like hot dogs.
All right, I accepted into the American apple pie.
That's right. It's it's as American as apple
pie. But when it happens, people are
going to be like, wow, Mike predicted that.
So if I predicted a natural disaster with a river right

(25:18):
after Helene happened, I'm like,so rivers flood all the time.
What I can't stand though, is like everybody started to play
the blame game with the fucking river in Texas.
They were like, they didn't heedthe flash flood warning.
Nobody does. That's the that we get that
warning all the time. And just like.
Well, and like where the fuck isthe flood?
Like actually, because like I live near where there's like a

(25:39):
river down, like it's a Creek. It's not a river, but like the
hills and everything means that the water has rushed through
there at different times, so there could be a flood.
He's just. Like I'm, I'm, I'm living in a,
it's a river. Well, I mean, it's not, it's a
Creek, Creek. It's a Creek.
I got a little bit of water in it, but yeah, but like it, it
goes. Into High Rock Lake and there's
there's literally the Creek thatgoes down by my house.

(26:02):
And how much water would it takefor that to like wash out like
up where my. Yeah, they, they, they, they're
like flash flood. I'm getting a flash flood
warning. I go look outside.
I got that like stream going down my sidewalk and I'm like
is. That the same as always, yes.
That is like nobody. And then when it's something,
it's because you guys have fucking just been like flash

(26:22):
flood warning. Just put it out there.
There's a lot of rain got to scare people.
So they turn on the news like that's essentially what it's
always been. So now when people aren't
heeding these warnings and we'relike actual flooding happens,
we're like, oh shit, though theythey weren't for beers.
They didn't heed the warning. Nobody heeds the warning because
it happens all the fuck every time it rains you get a flash
flood warning looks. Like my buddies in laws, they

(26:44):
live up in New York and they live off of a river that I think
if in order for it to reach where their house is, it's like
a 500 year event or whatever happened twice in three years,
like 500 year event. And like literally came up
there. They've got like a foundation.
So they're already up off the ground like, you know, 3 or 4
feet and then it came up like 5 or 6 feet into their house and

(27:06):
like flooded the whole first level of their house two times
in three years. And it's a 500 year flood plain
like. We're sorry, but your insurance
doesn't cover Act of God. No, it does not cover Act of
God. Sorry.
Like they had flood insurance, but then it was cancelled after
that second one. They're like, no, we're not
covering this anymore. You guys got to move.
Yeah, fuck that. Look, we're going to force you

(27:27):
to have insurance and then we'rejust not going to cover.
Anything and nothing. Nothing.
Yeah. How do we make money off of you?
We force the government to forceyou to get this shit, OK, and
then shit starts happening. Well, we don't want to cover
that. OK, we'll cover.
I don't know if a if a army of bats came in and they attacked
your first born son, not your second born son or a daughter,

(27:49):
your first born son specifically.
We cover that unless unless it starts happening.
Only on Tuesdays. Yeah, only on Tuesdays.
Any other day other than Tuesday, then we're probably not
going to be able to cover. That right And it has to be on
the day that your next door neighbor's second cousin passed
away. And if none of that happens,
then you are not getting any fucking money.
And if it does for some reason happen, we'll give you like 200

(28:12):
bucks. Well, it's like my wife got in
my car accident and the the car insurance company, the person
that was at fault. Oh, sorry, we don't cover car
accidents. Yeah.
Wait, what? Yeah, we don't cover any car
accidents. So it'd been over a year that
we'd been waiting for any kind of movement from the insurance
company. She, she got taken to the
hospital through an ambulance, all the stuff, got all these
checkups and everything. And, you know, turns out that

(28:34):
she probably got a concussion and all these other things.
And then like, I don't want to go into too much detail about it
just because it's still going on.
But like, technically we had thelawyers involved with it and we
finally got them in after a yearand they're like, yeah, so
you'll, you might get like around 5000 or something like
that. And then after our fees and
everything, you probably get like 3 to $500.

(28:55):
And it's like, wait, what? And don't you like it how they
have it set up like that? It's like, oh, it's go get a
lawyer. You'll get all your money.
And then there's nothing. There's no money leftover.
After all of this, and I'm proudto be an American.
Well, at least I know I'm free. Listen, guys, if we all just
like 350 million of us, if we all just went somewhere and just

(29:16):
start throwing stuff, all right,start dragging people out of
houses, all right, diddle their butt holes for once.
We're at the point like our government could literally
molest us and just be like neverhappened.
Which honestly that puts the uncle and Uncle Sam, because
that is the uncle thing to do tobe like that.
Never had, Never. That did not exist.
What they're talking about did not ever happen.

(29:36):
That does so. Uncle Sam?
Yeah, it's got a whole new meaning all.
Right, So last time we ended thethe podcast on this cliffhanger
of I got the guy that hired me fired.
So we're going to we're going togo through this one and we're
going to see if this guy was an asshole or not.
All right, yo, dudes, I've been listening to your show for a few
weeks and I love it. Keep listening, that'll change.

(30:00):
Have you heard this one? Yeah, right.
Keep up the good work. I'm quitting drinking right now
so hearing your struggles over nicotine helps me a little bit
in my day. ANYWAYS, I 32 male got the guy
40 male that hired me fired for sexual harassment.
I work apartment maintenance andafter two years of Section 8
housing full of drugs and gangs,I got a job in a very upscale 14
story tall building in a downtown metropolitan area.

(30:21):
I read that. I read that so well.
God Bless America. Wow, so many big words and I
just powered through it. I started working here nine
months ago and a few days into the job I was catching some
major red flags from my direct supervisor.
And if you guys are curious I'llactually send you the e-mail I
sent to HR when I complained. The biggest red flag I didn't
believe in was this man was OR. The biggest red flag I didn't

(30:43):
believe in was. This man is 40 years old, never
married, and had zero kids. At first it didn't seem like a
big deal, but the more I got to know this guy the more it made
sense. The crazy stuff this man got
onto. This man got to go on one ride
along with a police officer overa decade ago and that started
this weird obsession with violence that he thought he was
RoboCop but got denied for the military and police force.

(31:04):
So he had this insane fantasy for violence and being in fights
and being covered in blood and he would word for word say this
anytime he fell. He needs to assert himself to
anyone present. What?
That's a serial kill? Living mantisy, yeah.
You, you are going to die now. I hope you have marked yourself
for death like he is like thinking of so many ways he's

(31:24):
going to just like pull you apart.
It's not like Mike's jokes here and there about burning pedos
and bitches jumping or and bitches jumping his woman
getting uppercuts. Those are funny.
The issue is when he would tell us stuff it would usually be at
the end of a long rant where he works himself up and eventually
starts having a flashback about when he was a bouncer in a gay
nightclub 15 years ago. This man was a major narcissist

(31:47):
and he would say anything to back up his bullshit, even
talking about beating people's ass in a non funny way to a
point where he might just start punching the wall.
He's getting so worked up and I don't sit there punching.
My God. Wow I can feel how I was
punching him. That's fucking weird.
A resident challenged him over ashowerhead install and I got to
listen to the him scream for 20 minutes about how she can go

(32:07):
fuck herself. At one point he mentioned that
she's from another state and apparently he's well known there
and will ruin her life over the showerhead.
Swap in swap in in her unit he was a walking time bomb and so
extremely aggressive everyone walked on egg shells all day
long. One day he was bitching about
next coworker that got fired andhe was literally bragging saying

(32:28):
I get people here fired. I fucking had enough of his
bullshit and this point and started documenting the sexually
charged stuff he would say to the five female coworkers and
the residents in the building I think.
Is that mine? Fucking unprofessional.
Leave it in. Leave it in.
Got her got her phone call dude,that's the worst.

(32:53):
That's the wife and we're and we're asking people to now sign
on to subscribe for this extra, extra episode.
This is the type of. Quality you will get if you
subscribe to Mike and Dylan Hatedrama.
All I know is the podcast episode.

(33:14):
The podcast episodes are gonna be real entertaining right after
I get done for my shift from thebike shop.
I had enough of this bullshit atthe point I started documenting
the sexually start charge stuff he would say to the five female
Co workers and residents in the building.
I started taking notes of times,days of times, days, witnesses

(33:35):
and comments on Monday and had enough to send on Monday.
That's when he started taking notes of all this and then he
had enough to send a complaint by Tuesday.
I didn't even try to remember all the shit he said over six
months. All it took was three days.
That's it. We have a team of eight people
with two men and every day at 10:00 AM sharp we meet in the
main lobby on the 1st floor as ateam and talk about the day's

(33:56):
plan. This is where he sunk his ship.
Day one the office mentions a resident complained about loud
sex and he made a point to give everyone a 5 minute speech about
how loud he fucks and it shouldn't be a big deal.
The girls were disgusted and youcould feel the uneasy tension in
the air. Yeah I'll fuck the pussy bro,
I'll fuck it hard OK? And when you fuck hard, the
bitches are going to moan hard. It's not Mac and cheese.

(34:18):
Yeah, it's not Mac and cheese sounds.
It's right. I'm I'm, it sounds like I'm
trying to get a fucking combat boot unstuck from a mud pit.
Like fuck a Mac and cheese soundand you don't.
You don't think that would make a fucking woman scream with her
moist clam? Just trying to unclog, trying to
unclog a big fucking with my meat stick.
And this is like, they're just like sitting there like, what

(34:38):
the fuck is this guy? I can punch a goddamn ball right
now, All right? The girls were disgusted, and
you can feel the uneasy tension in the air.
It was gross. Day 2, one of the girls was
wearing a low top shirt and he told her to put her tits away in
front of everybody. She was 20 years old, mind you.
Day three he called one of the female maintenance members a
hose monster Tranny and I cut within the span of a few hours

(35:02):
while trying to flirt with her. Come here you little hose
monster. I like that one.
Almost are calling my wife that she was so fucking pissed I got
to listen to her bitch later that day or 20 minutes straight.
Long story short, I typed all ofthat up an e-mail on Thursday.
I sent it Friday and never saw him again.
Here's where I'm the asshole. This man has type 1 diabetes and

(35:23):
he just lost his health insurance.
Here's where I'm not the asshole.
I would beat the living shit outof another man.
He was acting like this towards my wife at work so I probably
saved his life. Hope to hear your comments guys.
All right, so I'm going to tell a really sad story, all right?
And it's about Tommy. I feel so like I've always felt
so bad about this. So Tommy was our maintenance guy

(35:45):
at one of the box plants that I worked at all, right?
I was the lead man on 2nd. Technically the I was the only
person there, so I was a supervisor, but they called me a
lead man so they didn't have to pay me and give me all that
vacation and shit, You know whatI'm saying?
You know how it works. So Tommy was bad at maintenance.

(36:05):
He was not good all right and hecame in everyday drunk, super
drunk and then would drink on the job also and then sleep most
of the time. And anytime we ever had a
problem, he would scream at us just very, very angrily, very
angrily like. That was our Johnny.
It was, it was very, very rough and it had gotten to a point

(36:27):
where like she would just be stagnant at work because he
couldn't do shit because he was just waking up super hungover,
just yelling at people, being a Dick, right?
He also had diabetes. So one day he comes in like
super drunk and I'm like, how doyou not?
How do you not spell? I was, I was tired of it, man.
You know, I'm sitting here, I got to work multiple fucking
jobs. I got to fucking run a machine
while working a band or while being the fucking lead man.
And I was like, you know, our fucking production production

(36:53):
supervisors there. So as long as you know, shit's
going well, he don't give a fuck.
You know, anybody can fucking work there.
And he just comes up to us and he reeks of alcohol.
I'm like, how the fuck do you all not smell that?
And so, you know, I started it. I started, I was fucking pissed.
I complained about it before. I was fucking pissed.
So he goes up to him and he's like, oh he does, you know,
smell like alcohol. So he does all this stuff and

(37:15):
Tommy gets fired and like 3 months later he died.
And I was like, fuck, I killed him.
Like I murdered that man. I took away his insurance and
his will to live from because you got to think about how good
that job was to just. But he complained about it.
He didn't like, he hated this fucking.

(37:35):
Job. Oh yeah.
I was like, you just sleep all day bro, and anytime anybody has
to go in there and fucking for anything, you just scream at
him, which I'm cool. Like if you're going to drink
and sleep, at least be a cool dude and you're a cool dude.
I don't think so. Oh, you guys go.
Oh shit, yeah, let me let me go tie my shoes and I'll go over
there. Like if that was the case, sure,
but all of it added together andlike she would be so stagnant.

(37:58):
I'd be sitting there busting my ass and this mother fucker bitch
just be sleeping and I'm just man, it sucks.
But I think I did the right way because I think I did the right
thing because I'm telling the story.
So almost made me sound good. You know, I'm saying his family
might be like, you know, what a Dick.
Well, no, I think The thing is, though, is like, you're not

(38:18):
ultimately responsible for anybody outside of yourself.
And so like, he made his own bed.
He laid in it like when I was. I murdered him.
When I was working. He killed him, Dylan, you ain't
got to stick up for me. I like to think of myself as
like a RoboCop. You know, this guy was drinking
at work and I was like, I terminated him.

(38:39):
That sounds fucked because he actually did not.
I didn't terminate him. That was.
The deal with these guys, like the guy in the story that he got
fired, which is, you know, rightfully so, he's a piece of
shit. So like obviously nobody wanted
to work with him. He's but like, what makes those
people that they're so fucking angry all the time?
They just like all they can think about is like being pissed
at something. Like just all the time, just

(39:00):
angry at the world. Politics.
That's what I think. The people that like like
creators online and people who just, that's all they talk.
About just drama how? Do you?
Where's the happiness in your day?
Is that where we're going to getto?
Because we we like drama so muchand we talk about it all the.
Time. I don't know, maybe, maybe, but
we're. Just going to be miserable fucks

(39:20):
here and like. I'll be out with people where
they just like, you start hanging out with them and they
immediately bring up politics and that's all they talk about.
And I'm just like, how where do you not?
Is there nothing else going on? So.
Was that you at one point? Because that was me at one
point. Like I was that guy that like
everything. Because everything eventually
can turn into politics. It's pretty fucking easy.
And, you know, through my like 20s, it did often, like, I would

(39:41):
just like rail against, you know.
The man. Yeah.
And did you not like when you were in?
Your No, I just think of you with that Mohawk.
Just fuck everybody. Fuck everybody.
Yeah, no, I, I. What's that one guy that he put
the diaper on and ran independent?
What was his name? What?
Was that one guy? He was like he.

(40:02):
Oh. Oh, you're talking about for
presidency? Yeah, there was the Trump
Hillary thing. And then they asked him where
like somewhere in fucking. You know there's a.
Israel was and he was like, what?
They were like this place and hewas like, what the fuck is that?
It's. Funny the connections you start
putting together though. I there is a picture of me in a
diaper as an adult. Is there really?

(40:23):
Full on like the colored socks, bonnet, little bib I played a
show. Colored socks.
Yeah, like with. The stripes on it with the.
Stripe. Who says colored socks?
The colored socks, the socks with colors on them, the
stripes, stripes, I don't know. Which sounds worse, colored
people or the coloreds like? The second one for 100%.

(40:45):
So it was like because it was itwas during the whole people of
color and people like did not know how to reference black
people. And I was, I was making this one
job. I was like, is it like it was on
stream too? I was playing Elden Ring and I
was like people of color. I just.
Wait, this was recently well. Elden Ring came out in like
20/20/2018 something like that. Fucking I don't, I don't

(41:07):
remember. You just had brought up that you
were playing it. Recently, yeah, but it was in
the height of like, you didn't know what to call a black person
like you. Just like, hey, there's a black
guy. What's up?
Oh, that's my friend. He's black, you know what I'm
saying? Like at that point he was like,
wait, is that wrong? He's like people of color.
And we were talking about like how you could fuck it up the
worst. And then someone was like saying

(41:27):
the coloreds and I was like, Oh,that's the, that's probably the
worst. That is that.
Because then then we got on the topic of is it worse to say
colored people or the coloreds? And I was like, fuck, we really
need a black person. And then someone in the fucking
chat would be like, Oh, I'm black.
And we'd be like, really like, no, I'm like, fuck.

(41:48):
Mike has never listen. I have never.
I don't know. I referred myself like the rock
right there. But I have never been one where
I was like, when we get cancelled, I don't care.
That's why I hate more than anything.
I hate the people that are like,you can't say anything.
You can like, I accept the things that come to me.
If I if someone takes a clip of me saying the coloreds OK, and a

(42:08):
black person gets so angry aboutit they punch me in the face in
public, this is what happens. All right, That's the but 99.9%
of the time it's not gonna happen.
Well, in 99% of the time it's gonna be a white person that's.
Gonna be Yeah, people are coming.
White people love getting mad. Well, that was.
One of the things, but it's likethe Daenerys Targaryen thing

(42:29):
where someone was just like I aman ally.
It's not the color, it's Mike. It's people of color.
And then they imagine themselvesas like the RoboCop thing, but
it's like Darnay's today Targaryen kid where she's
getting crowd served by the slaves.
They're all celebrating her. That's that's what that's what

(42:49):
they listen. I love.
I love Democrats, all right, I love Republicans too.
Y'all both weird, but God damn it, like the videos we used to
get on TikTok when someone wouldlike say like a joke or
something like that, or they would say something real racist

(43:09):
and then it would start off withlike a Democrat and like half
their face would be in the shows.
Be like you like talking about you like talk about people of
color like that and they show their full face and be like,
well, I, I have their back and I'm like, bro, this is the
gayest thing I've ever fucking seen Delete your account.
Look, I I hope they look back onthat and they're just like, oh,

(43:30):
what was I doing? Like just you could be like, hey
man, that's not cool. That's the but they would always
be like. See, my favorite was when like
there was that girl that was talking about how she didn't
want like any white dudes and blah blah blah.
She's she only wanted like a black king and it's like a
really not attractive white. Girl.
Yeah. And they were like we delegate.
This to our. Men we, we to the Mexicans and

(43:50):
the Mexicans just keep. Going down the chain.
We're going to send this to the white and white people's like
no, we're sending this to the Asians that that's unity.
That was so that is. You know nothing will make you
unite more than a fat ugly bitchman you get.
Wasn't that a playoff of like a Chappelle thing for like the
wasn't it like a race like wherelike they were trading like

(44:10):
Tiger Woods like whoever? Was that was the draft?
Yeah, Yeah. Wasn't.
That a Chappelle thing or? Because they drafted Eminem as a
black guy. Yeah, that was a Chappelle skip.
But I don't think that wasn't like that.
Listen, but I think everybody's dealt with that, though.
They were like, oh, they're about to hit on this girl on
this absolute fucking linebackercomes out from beside the bar
and she's like, she's not interested.

(44:33):
I didn't. I was talking to you.
You know, yeah, I wasn't talkingto her.
I was talking to you, baby girl.You want a basket of chicken
wings? I was like, like, OK, let's get
you a basket of chicken wings. And then while you're busy over
there. Yeah, well, I have distracted
you. Listen, the people like to say
fat women and black guys is likemoth on a flame, but honestly,

(44:56):
it's just real skinny dudes. It doesn't matter if you're
black, white, real skinny guys, like I don't know what it is,
just a big girl is that's what they want.
That's what they Moss to a flameis so goddamn funny.
It's the funniest fucking listen.
It's the funniest fucking thing.I love it, but I love when we

(45:17):
can all all joke about each other fucking yawning.
Yeah, you've been tired, haven'tyou?
I've been tired. Did you?
Really give up all your like thecaffeine and the sugar
everything man see you were saying yesterday Mike sent me a
you know, a funny message and I don't even think I replied to
it, but he's like, you know, I think I have cancer and I think

(45:40):
it was you know, like the 30 cigarettes a day that used to
keep the cancer back but but nowI'm.
Tired and sleepy. And now I'm like tired and
sleepy. I wake up for like 2 hours and
then I'm tired and fall back asleep again.
And I was, I meant to text you back, but like, I was very
running around yesterday, but I was going to be like, well,
maybe it's like, you know, the sugar and the caffeine and the,

(46:00):
the fucking no bread, no yogurt,whatever.
All you're giving up. Like maybe it's maybe it's all
that that's making you tired instead of just the the
cigarettes. Listen, it is just not been fun.
It's not fun. I just want to go back to smoke.
It's so bad. Like I've done it for.
We're coming up on see. I can do it.
Look, yeah, we're. Coming up on three weeks now.
I am not enlightened. I am not.

(46:22):
I just like man. I just really want to figure.
Out in that time though, if you were to take, that's almost like
200 bucks. 200 bucks you've saved.
Wow, don't care. Wow.
Not for the happiness that I do not have any more.
My existence feels meaningless. I feel like I am just plopping

(46:46):
around. Like not even just like just
plopping like everywhere I go, just.
Every month, like $300 that you're not having to spend, that
you're not having to come up with.
I mean, right now we're not likeI could pay my bills and I was
like, oh, I got $300 to spend on.
No, it's just like, I probably shouldn't have been buying them
cigarettes because I was so behind.

(47:07):
So it's not even like I get to benefit from that.
And I just feel. So, I don't know, outside of my
normal self, too. It's very weird feeling.
I'm going to read some advice from this.
The title says a fan reaching out and rambling.
Hi, Mike and Dylan. My name is Caleb, and I really

(47:28):
enjoy your podcast. Hey, Caleb.
What's up, Caleb? Yeah, we should just do the.
And when they say their name, just do that.
The fucking Alcoholics that I'm.Hey Caleb, I'm a painter and
listen while working, especiallywhile I get the great pleasure
of watching my paint dry. Honestly, it's probably more
exciting than the podcast. I've been listening for about

(47:49):
two months. I'm trying to catch up on every
episode. 2 more episodes left. I guess I have a couple of
statements that I like to make. I hope we can get some
conspiracy episodes in the future.
You guys would be hilarious to hear, debate and discuss it.
Is that a possibility? The time we did it, it was not
hilarious. The next episode we might
discuss. We might get a podcast or a
podcast. We might get a conspiracy for

(48:11):
the podcast. I think we need to do like we
need to. The problem with what we do is
we're very last minute, like we're literally showing up today
and just like this is what we'regoing to do.
And I think for a legit conspiracy, we at least have to
like, research it a little, do alittle bit of.
And like have just like what we're going to talk about, We

(48:31):
really need to get on like I just want to go just go for the
jugular and be like there's not was 911 an inside job I've.
Always thought it was. Yeah, me too.
God, like how does jet fuel, howdoes jet fuel melt the fucking
plane but you get the fucking passports and shit off of it?
There's like so many inconsistencies.
There's so many inconsistencies and then it does like if you, if

(48:53):
you watch the footage of people like just shooting it, it like
there's fucking detonations going on up the building and
everybody's just like, Nope, That's what happens during
regular science. If you were just you believing
in that, honestly, I think that and that's where people are
like, oh, because you're not college educated.
If you were college educated, you'd be able to accept this at
face value and just not even think about it.
I feel like it's very Epsteinishnow, like, because that's what

(49:16):
we're getting fed again. And like it was a scenario where
like there was enough inconsistencies and then they're
just like, Nope, this is what we're telling you it was.
And then it's like, OK, well, wejust buy this now.
And then if you think anything, anything was not exactly like
they said it was, then you're a fucking nut job.
No, they're both those things can be true.

(49:36):
Is that's pretty much what happened.
But you know, like why we're like so yeah, that's easy.
Let's let's hold off on like actually doing it because there
I would like to come back with some of.
Yeah, we're going to get our facts together.
Well, it's been fucking what, 24years since the like?
Since it really. Happened and like, how do you,
how do you fucking, how do you navigate a plane over all them

(49:58):
fucking telephone poles to hit the side of the fucking Pentagon
And then there's no debris left?And then you take all the
fucking footage from the CCTV and a fucking like 2 mile radius
that was around, bro. Like they're so like, how do you
not believe that was not an inside job?
And then the guy who fucking owned the World Trade Centers,

(50:18):
he was like, he got his insurance payout.
You can't get a fucking insurance payout in a car
accident that covers car accidents.
If it was the other person's fault, you can't get that.
But this motherfucker got the payout for the World Trade
Centers twice because two planeshit and they counted the
separate tragedies. They they really got paid twice.
They got over, yeah, they got double the payout because two
planes hit and I'm proud to be an American where it look, I

(50:46):
don't give a fuck. What?
What else did they say on there that?
Mike and Dylan love conspiracies.
Would be a great podcast all right.
We can just change the name of this one.
Also I want to say with the Jimmy Dean situation that's
definitely not gay. Low key rape by deception.
Under my opinion. Bro is a victim.
Yes yes a jokes aside bro is definitely a victim.
If you had a Dick and then you got that shit turned into AI

(51:10):
can't believe it's not pussy andyou didn't tell somebody then
yes it is. That is rape.
I'm sorry. What about like impossible pussy
or beyond pussy? I think that's a Dave Chappelle
joke. What the beyond pussy that is?
Is that a new one? Yeah, no, yeah, that's 100% OK.
Impossible pussy. Yeah, there you go.

(51:31):
Yeah. He makes a beet juice reference.
Me saying I can't believe it's not pussy is that was pretty
good. But yeah, it's so hard.
Dave Chappelle says so much shit.
Shut the fuck up, Dave. Let me get a goddamn joke in all
right, bud. Let's have him on the podcast.
Does anybody know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dave. Dave will be on the podcast
maybe next. Month, I'm going up to New York
in like a couple weeks so I could just, you know, swing by

(51:52):
Ohio and. Swing by anywhere that like just
like be on the streets and look out for somebody so we can get a
fucking celebrity on here. So I can like at least release
some clips of me with a fucking celebrity and then or me fucking
a celebrity. Or the celebrity fucking you
right? Yes, fucking.
Could you imagine? Like me and Bill Burr fucking
talking about something stupid? He just clowned on me the whole

(52:12):
time. Yeah, no, he's, he's so fucking
witty. That man destroyed fucking Theo
Von. I'm not Theo Von though.
I could call mom. I'm really losing, brother, just
because you couldn't fucking talk about your feelings cuz
everybody around you told you itwas gay, I don't mean I can't
talk about my goddamn feelings. I'm sorry it happened like that.
You should always be aware and have choice.
On a lighter note, keep up the great work and I look forward to

(52:35):
listening to you for years to come.
PS Mayonnaise and completely flatten your tongue.
Look, years to come, it will be Dylan H Drive might go kill
himself. All right, look.
You you said multiple times that's never going to happen
you. It might, it might, all right,
but if I did it, this is how I do it.
I have to get it if I ever get ahouse with a garage, so I can't

(52:57):
be too successful. So I actually don't even go to
the God damn don't go to the Patreon because if Mike ever
gets a house, that's the only way I'd do it.
That's with the garage. Carmen outside.
So my wife had a dream the otherday and she said it was like
super fucked up and it actually it fit your your style.
So she's like, she was doing something with her daughters and

(53:19):
I had died and then she came back home and I was there
because I had not actually died.We were, we were pretending that
we were dead because we wanted the virality of we had died.
And so we we had said that we had a bunch of these podcasts in
the bag when we died. And so both of us had died and

(53:40):
we were just basically still making podcasts, but we were
dead. So we're.
Using that's a genius fucking thing though, because it's like,
no, no, no, no, all these are. We need to just do like, all
right, Mike and Dylan are dead. Yeah.
Someone needs to. This is what someone needs to
do. Someone needs to Photoshop.
Me and Dylan are right next to each other and, like, make it

(54:01):
look like a Daily Mail thing. And they were like, podcasters
dead. All right.
And then every time we release one, everybody just be like, oh,
man. It's like they're still here.
And people be like, well, how are they releasing podcasts if
they're still? And like, no, no, no, no.
They just have these. These are already.
Yeah, these are already. And they're talking about the
current events though. But I've seen the episode where
they literally talked about doing this.
Yes, but that's why it's so crazy, because then it actually

(54:21):
predicted it. They predicted it.
Yeah, so and but they had a bunch of them in the bag, so
it's like, no, this is talking about like current events.
They literally predicted their death.
Why would they not be able to predict this?
Also fucking retards. When she told me that I was
like, that does sound like a micidea.
That's a good idea though man. Nothing makes you fucking like
go viral. If I died, you know how many

(54:43):
people would come out of the woodwork?
Because there's one thing I knowthat I'm going to get like some
reception when I die because a tick tocker with like 200,000
followers will die and they'll be like, you know, this big tik
toker died. I'm like, whoa, I got like, you
know, millions. So when I die, everybody's just
going to be nut hugging. Nobody gives a fuck.
You know, they're just like making their own like felonious

(55:03):
falafel died today by fucking jumping off of a gun.
You know, he was hit by a truck trying to retrieve a classic
stacker that dropped out of his Taco Bell bag.
It's like fuck, but everybody would be talking about it like,
but then also people would be like, you know, it's crazy.
I've been watching his videos and you know, his comedy, while

(55:23):
it seems stupid as fuck, it was actually on a different level.
And then people look at you in adifferent light because you
died. Like I never hit the pinnacle.
So if I die before I ever like hit the hit my prime or God
forbid I ever get in my prom andthen I do die like bro everybody
will be like. What could have?
Been what could have been because they didn't get to see
the fall off. Normally we get to see someone's

(55:45):
fall off, but I really hope I get to have a fall off because
that means you actually made some kind of money.
Yeah, or impact, but. Joe Rogan made $200 million.
Like if I just had $200. Jesus Christ.
Buy yourself cigarettes for the month.
Not good. All right, so the title says

(56:06):
great advice. Hey there, Michelangelo and Dill
Pickle. I wanted to say that you guys
have great advice on one of yourpodcasts that one of you said if
you have anxiety, just stop and don't have anxiety.
I did that and my life is great and I just slipped the anxiety
switch and it worked and I feel a lot better.
So on that note, I wanted to say, Mike, have you thought
about following your own advice?Just stop wanting to smoke and

(56:27):
you won't crave it anymore. And the hard times you're having
about not smoking won't be so hard anymore.
That's what I literally did. I just said I'm not smoking
anymore. Flipped it the fuck off.
OK, so if I could do it, you canflip off that switch.
Stop being a pussy all right, and just get over your anxiety.
Go outside and just look at the sun and let the sun hit you.
Maybe fucking son your asshole, OK?
And then your anxiety will go away.

(56:49):
I haven't tried it with my gore phobia yet but I'm going to do
it. Just stop wanting to smoke and
you'll be set. Anyways love the show.
You guys always give the best advice and this one was one of
the best yet. Love y'all.
PS Mike please stop being so thick and distracting I can't
focus on what y'all say look like have muscles.
I wouldn't even say calf muscles, just my jiggly calves.
People love that shit. They're defined like you're very

(57:12):
like your muscles are very defined.
I've got. It's got to carry around, it's
got to carry around this big fatfuck all day.
But I have big calves, I just have no like definition in them.
They're just like, fat as fuck. I got the definition, yeah.
I used to be all muscular and shit and now I'm not.
Well, your legs are. Life is like a box of
chocolates. Listen, this has been a great

(57:33):
episode. I think that we will next
episode we'll update you on the Patreon situation all.
Right. Yeah.
So on Wednesday we'll be able toat least have a direction
because it's either a Patreon orit could be membership through
whichever platform you want. So Spotify.
Or if like, look, if you know a rich person, all right, who has

(57:55):
not had their knob just absolutely slobbed on recently,
Dylan is, he's ready, all right.His he has been working out his
jaw muscles. I just had that tooth removed.
So, you know, my jaw's still kind.
Of if he. I don't want, I want to give
something like if somebody's getting their Dick sucked, I
want to give them their money's worth.
And right now I just, I just, you know, there's a lot of
tightness in this side, so. No, if there's some.

(58:16):
You got to take up the mantle. Some vagina that needs eating or
something like. That oh man, there's no, I can't
two daddies judging baddies. There's got to be like 1 wealthy
lonely lady that's just like listening.
She's got a couple cats around. Well, see, and I could, I could
probably like talk my wife into being like, well, this is to pay
the. Bill, I could absolutely look, I

(58:37):
could absolutely talk my wife into a a sugar momma situation.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying it's like.
Again There. She's like 74 years old, bro.
I'm back. Fucking do it, dude.
She's like $100,000 a year. I'm beating it down.
Yeah, I'm going like. Can you feel this at all?
No. No, she can't.
She will. She will feel it.
I had this 1X man, you had a fucking like elbow that shit

(58:58):
like fucking five star frog splash the clitoris just for her
to feel anything and I'm just like, this is not you guys see a
doctor Yeah, because AI can't feel my jaw this.
Should be more more sensitive ofan area.
You know what, guys? If you want to, if you want
advice that you need advice for,if you got a problem you need
advice for, you can submit your story at mikeanddylan.com,

(59:19):
MIKEANDY, lan.com. Also, if you just want to join
the subreddit M ADHD, you will see the first fish that I caught
didn't even bring it up. Didn't even bring up the fish
that I caught. We'll talk about it in the next
episode and we will see you guysnext time later.