We're SPLITTING Up! | MADHD Ep12 |

Mike and Dylan announce their new concise podcast "2 Daddies Judging Baddies" while explaining why they're keeping both shows running - one for rambling stories and one for straight-to-the-point advice. Between sharing intense workplace stories about a Cuban supervisor who invited Mike to sleep with his wife and a creepy coworker who pinned another employee to a car, the guys tackle tough topics like racism within families and the struggle between career advancement and quality time with kids.The episode takes a surprising turn with a discussion about American political division, with both hosts agreeing that only a common enemy (like pedophiles or aliens) could possibly unite the country. Mike drops wisdom bombs about prioritizing time with family over money, while Dylan shares his advice for a listener deciding between a higher-paying job and one with future potential. Through it all, the guys remain refreshingly moderate in their political takes while cracking jokes about TikTok's payment problems.Join the guys on their new more concise podcast 2 Daddies Judging Baddies or stick with MADHD for the deep dives and rambling stories they're known for.Submit your own drama for Mike and Dylan to solve at https://MikeAndDylan.com or join the conversation on their new subreddit r/MADHD https://www.reddit.com/r/MADHD/About LaborLamaWhen they're not solving your drama or unpacking generational trauma, Mike and Dylan are behind LaborLama, a clothing brand dedicated to creating comfortable, quality clothes for people who work hard. Unlike those shady print-on-demand companies sending you mismatched shirts that fall apart after one wash, Labor Llama delivers clothing worth your hard-earned money. Check out their quality apparel at ⁠⁠https://laborlama.com

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
All right, Mike, it's time to get to work.
How are we rolling? Oh wait, I was responding to a
Magic the Gathering Reddit that I had posted earlier today.
Super important. Stuff and yes, it is very, very
important. Yeah.
Welcome to another episode of Mike and Dylan hate.
Hate drama Bound Down. Mike and Dylan Hate.

(00:23):
Yeah, Mike was. I'm so caught off guard.
I don't know what to do, brother.
That's right, I'm a pop titty. I just.
Get the best out of you is when when you're off guard.
Honestly, we do need only fans now.
So with the update from TikTok, they no longer monetize business
pages, which is what Labor Llamawas, is a business business

(00:44):
page. We trying to sell, trying to
sell shirts and hoodies up in here.
And they said, hey, we're not paying you for content anymore.
All right, So we switched from being a business page to a
personal page, but they were like, oh, since you going to do
that and we ain't going to make money from your shop anymore,
we're going to tank your views. So we went from getting about 1
to 2,000,000 per video to what was it, 19,000 to 40,000?

(01:06):
Yeah, solid numbers. Yeah.
So nothing that you you they don't even pay.
You like to try again? You just lose money posting
videos. So instead what we did was we
were like, OK, well we'll just do TikTok shop videos from the
labor llama shop on the personalpage so it'll actually get views

(01:26):
again because TikTok sucks. And TikTok was like, Oh no, we
don't. We don't pay sponsored content
now. So yeah, I mean, I guess it is.
I got to spread my asshole or something.
Yeah, and I mean, you got a lot of DMS.
I know we've talked about it in the past, but you you have
gotten DMS from the community that would likely be subscribers

(01:46):
to your Only Fans content so. It's time to start, you know,
eating, eating cake with my ass.I mean, so another news, another
less sad news. We started another podcast
called 2 Daddies, Judge and baddies.
All right, It's the more conciseversion of this instead of
getting a whole bunch of rambling.

(02:08):
And then finally we might get tolike advice.
These are pretty concise. They're they're formatted a lot
better where we're actively on the story.
I'm Les rambly and we're going to run.
Am I the assholes? You won't get as much Mike lore
and Dylan lore. You won't go into deep into
those stories. If we bring them up, it'll be
like, Oh yeah, we talked about that on Mike and Dylan.
Hey drama, More so than going into a 30 minute tirade of how

(02:32):
Mike got a A on a test at one point in his life.
Right Yeah yeah, the one the onetime I got an A but yeah, that
gives it's it's better than me every episode going oh, what do
you like better? Do you want us to ramble or do
you want us to do? Am I the assholes?
And everybody's just like split so.
Well, and I think it makes it easier for you guys as
listeners. If you're really just here for

(02:52):
am I the asshole style stories, then that's the place to go is
over there. If you want the more because we
we do have people that fight, you know, one way or the other.
There's a lot of people that arelike cut to the chase, get get
to the you know, the am I the asshole story.
And then there's a lot of you that are like, I want to listen
to you guys sleep for five hours.
Right. Yeah, but the the podcast is 2

(03:13):
daddies judging baddies. And I don't, I mean, it sounded
funny when I created it. It also sounds like we're going
to get a lot of views from people who are like judging
women, and then they're going tofall in love with my boyish.
Wonder, see, I think it's more so like when you put daddies and
baddies together. I feel like it's more like a S&M

(03:34):
type. Is that is that the right term?
S&M. Sadism and masticism like the
the 50 Shades of grey What? Is it called?
Oh God, I don't fucking know. I that's not my like.
The people that. Prefer preferred category of
adult film. Like the people that love.
Yeah, that's there we go. God, I just said S&M, but yeah,

(03:57):
but yeah, BDSM, that's what I'm talking about.
That's what the category is going to be in.
I used to get that and ASMR confused all the time.
The same thing. I'm like, yeah, my kid watches
ASMR videos. I'm like fuck what you let them.
Jesus Christ that is that is rough.
Today we have how many, how manythings of advice.
Two solid ones and then I, I threw in all the little ones

(04:20):
that we normally don't do, but Ithink they're great.
I think you should start with, start with the last one first.
Do that last. Just the big one.
No, just that last. They were all in order before
you. So which one was the last one
before I started? The literal last line on that
middle page right there. Yeah, right.
Okay, yeah, man, yeah, we're gonna start with this one.
A riveting piece of content. The title is MYOB.

(04:43):
Mind your own business. OK, there we go.
I didn't no clue what was the one earlier that we had a
decipher. Friends with benefits FWB I've
never heard it in. FWB all the message said is I'm
here for the tomfoolery and we do a little foolery with Tom a
lot. Speaking of Tom, the reason that

(05:04):
we were like, because I was likehalf and half on all starting a
new podcast because you know, you don't want to like have
people, you know, jumping through hoops and shit to get
your content. And then Dylan pulled up Tom
Segura's shit. How many podcasts did he have?
11/11/11 I like to think 10 years from now I have. 14 I
thought you were going to throw us back to like, being on

(05:25):
Myspace and like Tom's our friend.
And so we were going to like, start promoting our podcast on
Myspace. I wish Tom was my friend.
Come on this podcast, bud. Are we just any guest?
Were you in the Myspace era or did you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man.
I loved Myspace's cutthroat style where you had like top
eight friends and their friend would move down and wouldn't
know why I had top three. God, I wonder if my Myspace is

(05:46):
still up. I think my profile picture was
me and some like big ass sunglasses with a fitted hat and
then an MMA elite shirt on a white one.
You're with that guy. I was that guy.
I mean, I, I, I think I went in and out of that era as well, so.
I was, unfortunately, I was unfortunately that guy.

(06:06):
So yeah, guys, we're gonna go ahead and shout out today's
sponsor, Labor Llama. Check them out at
laborllama.com, LABOR lama.com and buy Hood.
Buy something. I'll start.
It's, it's getting rough around here, brother.
Yeah, next month's gonna be a tough one.
Mike's actually talking about going and getting a.
A9 to fiver job so that his family can eat and still have a

(06:30):
roof over their head. You got to do it.
Which once again, don't hear this shit and like be pity
compelled to buy something Don'tdo that No, we're going to keep
going yeah put like I said push comes to shove, I just go get a
fucking real job I did it for most of my life anyway.
So do I enjoy the job of of justtalking to people Yeah.

(06:51):
Which I mean, that's honestly what I did when I worked in a
factory. It was just talk to people A.
Little bit of work here and there, but it was just mostly
talking. Once I got off the die cutter
and then I had a guy riding the load, the load former.
That's all I did. I just, I'd set it up, started
running and then walk away, bit me and asked a couple times.
One time on the die cutter, I was running the big boxes for

(07:13):
steel, the chainsaw brand and one of the steels, it was upside
down. Now I don't know if you've ever
seen a steel box in a store, butthey are.
There's so much graphics. It's like an MMA elite shirt.
Literally that's what it looks like.
There's so many graphics on it, So when I'm doing my check of
it, I have a picture of the print and I'm checking it off
like on the board and I just like fucking I'm not really

(07:34):
looking. It's good.
One of the steels was upside down.
Now their boxes are huge double wall boxes, so that was like a
$60,000 return. I only messed up like 3000 of
them. That's not bad, but it was a
well I think it was like multiple orders, but it was
$60,000. They blamed it on a guy in The
Who made the print plates, so that was good.

(07:57):
I would also blame that guy. Even though it was you.
Right. That guy's probably on this
right now and he's like now I know he's kill right now.
I know who to hunt. He's probably been hunting me
down and I just gave him the evidence that he needed to I.
Knew it this whole time Mike wasout to get me and he was trying
to get me fired. All right, so we're going to go
into another one. Title says you've been hacked.

(08:18):
What? So I got a Facebook message
today from someone claiming to be you.
They reached out with an opportunity of a lifetime to
make all sorts of money. All I had to do was send them a
personal message. I responded with satire, and
then I respond in the manner in which I would perceive you to
respond. I took screenshots of the
conversation as well as blockingthem on Facebook.

(08:39):
Please reach out to my e-mail soI can send you the screenshots.
I feel that you will find them humorous.
Happy Easter. How long ago was?
This him. So I just went back through and
grabbed some of the like the ones that like, we wouldn't
normally do that in an episode, but I thought it was a good one
to just be like, yeah, we're notgoing to message you.
Bro, I get messages like that all the time.
Look, I can all, there's only somuch I can do when someone

(09:00):
decides to create a fake profileof me and then message people
and I'll tell Facebook. I'll be like, hey, you got some
hackers over here because they're not me.
Facebook was like, no, we don't really find nothing wrong with
them. Seems like a fan page.
That's a lot. What that's that's what they'll
say a lot is seems like a fan page.
Yeah, and we're going to quit paying you, but we might give
them some money. Oh yes, so Facebook, the way
they got us is, is they one of the videos we posted, and I'll

(09:22):
probably, I think I've already talked about this, but one of
the videos we posted, they took it down and said that it was
like violent. I was like, it's not violent.
It's me reading a story in humorous jest.
And then they reviewed it and they were like, Oh yeah, it's
perfectly good. So they put it back up, but they
didn't put the video back up. They just put the post back up.
So it has a status. And then there's like video
unavailable. Yeah.
And then didn't take any away any of like the strikes or

(09:44):
anything. So it's like your growth has
been affected by this fucking. It's bullshit after bullshit.
The. Hackers.
The hackers are completely fine.Yeah, yeah, they're not a.
Problem at all. What money they don't make from
content if they if they don't make money from it, they are
making from the elderly because they fucking love.
I mean you just send an old. Like once someone is over the

(10:05):
age of 55 if you send them a hacker mat they incidentally
believe you. You can say anything.
See, this is what I'm saying is like, we need to figure out that
hack. We need to get somebody that's
gonna and like we'll do it for free.
They could just like send like afake monetary donation to listen
to the podcast and then share itout to every person in your
church group and your, you know,Sunday Garden Club.

(10:27):
Like, just share our podcast farand wide.
Look, they're getting really close to me just being like, all
right, we got the new Michael Wright F NFTS Fucking get them
while they're hot, brother. I don't even know what an NFT.
Is and then then on launch day it's like worth, you know, $1000
a coin and then literally an hour after we tank it and we're
like, ah, we're millionaires. To a girl allegedly did right.

(10:49):
Right. Well, that's what everybody in
that space does. Aw.
Man, I wish, I just wish I couldfuck people over.
I wish I had that bone in my body cuz.
But look, man, like people are like man, Mike so like he
doesn't like fucking hit us withsponsorships and all this shit
and all this other stuff that content creators do and they

(11:09):
lied me for it, all right? And I'm like, yeah, it's like a
sense of pride. And then I'd be like, fuck, I
need a pack of cigarettes. So.
It's like it's a it's AI. Don't know I sleep well at night
though. Well.
When you sleep. Yeah, sans the the actual
insomnia that I have with like the ADHD and what you doing?
Good, You're you're what day? Three into sleeping at night.

(11:29):
So it's it's doing really well. I'm just getting up really early
and I will not like if I am dog ass tired, I will not lay down
in the bed for 20 minutes. It's like, no, at night, that's
when we go and lay down. Now, last night I went to bed at
like 1:30, which is still great.Yeah, that's still amazing for
me. So that's why that's why I'm
able to kind of keep on track a lot better.

(11:50):
And we're going to get to another bit of it.
But look, see, we're on #3 we'rekilling them.
I mean it. Helps that they're like 3 pair
or three sentences long, but. Well, essentially, so the idea
that we originally had was, hey,let's just do like an am I the
asshole in the beginning? You know, talk a little bit of
shit, do another one and then the rest of the time it would be
essentially considered overtime and that if people wanted to

(12:12):
stay, they could. And if they didn't and then I
was just like, this is easier tofucking separate the two and do
one. Like one.
I'll know people don't know this, but when the cameras turn
on, that's when Mike like with the tik toks and shit, that's
when Mike comes to play. So with that one I know I'll be
locked in cuz I have that. This is my baby, though.
The Mike and Dylan hate drama. I say it's our base, my baby.

(12:33):
Well, it's your therapy. That's my, that's my therapy.
I get to say shit that I've never told people.
And people just listen. And they're like, yeah, not
weird at all. I'm like you.
Yeah, you feel just like me. And it's like, it's so beautiful
to see other people. Fucked up and.
Yeah, go through the fucked up shit.
I'm just like, wow, So this thisworld is great.
When you see people, they're like, I found people who can

(12:55):
relate to me. It's like I went through a lot
of shit, brother. I'm sorry.
That's what I want to say to 99%of the messages when they're
just like, oh man, I I feel justlike you, Mike.
I'm sorry, brother. So this one says Dang old
doctors dear Dylan and Mike. Weird way to word that.
Don't like that. No, that's the way it's supposed
to be. Don't like they doesn't
alphabetical Mike and Dylan? You use the one that has more

(13:18):
syllables. I know so many words man.
Use the one that has more syllables last, I believe. 2
syllables and two syllables do and.
I think in this situation, we don't go in alphabetical order.
Just like lining up in school, you got to switch it up.
Or Zack. When we did.

(13:39):
Zacks always get fucked over. We were doing when we were
coming up with the name for thisone.
There was a bunch of them where we were trying to put the
letters in order of something that made funny sense.
And so I think for a minute there we were Dylan and Mike.
And then because it was damn. And then we we changed it to
Mike and Dylan give advice to you, which was mad gay because

(14:00):
you don't put two in a an acronym.
But I was like, fuck, I want to make at least one thing where
potentially somebody could like sponsor it or something.
Yeah, Mad Gay would have been probably a hard one.
Who sponsors this like Cymbalta,Adderall, whatever big Adderall
brand there is out there. This is like, This is why you
need this. But this one says, Dang old

(14:21):
doctors dear Dylan and Mike onceagain.
So it's a pretty simple story. I've never been a fan of going
to the doctor. Had some not so fun experience
as a kid dealing with doctors. Like running a bunch of tests to
try and find out things but never finding things.
I'm going to the doctor. That's doctors.
Yeah, that's a. We don't know brother.
Probably gas. Get out of here.

(14:42):
I paid you 3. $1000 and I'm still sick and.
That'll be $10,000 for that 45 minutes.
Like where the fuck do y'all come up with these?
Numbers from we'll see the insurance is going to charge us
for this and then so we in charge charge the insurance back
for this and since you have really shitty insurance, you
just get to pay both of us to not do anything at all.
So a bag of saline water that they put into your arm is like

(15:02):
$1000. Heroin is like I don't know how
much of it. It's way cheaper bro.
Just if you want to be pain freejust do heroin from hundreds of
needle pokes to test for allergies.
That wall, well that all came back negative to hospital visits
when I got hurt and getting ready or what what what what to
hospital visits when I got hurt and was treated poorly.

(15:24):
There we go, my family has a history of heart issues and my
dad recently got diagnosed with something bad with the heart too
complicated for me to try to spell.
It's probably like something arrhythmia.
So he wants me to get tested buthonestly I don't want to.
I'm worried it's going to be badnews and it's going to add to my
already poor mental health whichI should probably get checked
out. Any advice on how to get me to

(15:45):
stop being a pussy and just do it?
Thanks y'all are the best. SO unfortunately I do have to go
into a store now because this goes, we have mentioned a couple
times that I have like this weird form of agoraphobia.
Like I still go outside and do like normal shit.
I just get real panicky sometimes, which is honestly
it's doing great here recently and hopefully doesn't come back
to bite me in the ass. I had the All Star race that

(16:07):
we're going through this weekend.
The reason I bring that up is isbecause it was, I can't remember
dates to save my life, but we went to Richmond, which is a
NASCAR race and I went with my father-in-law, which is crazy
because I'm not really a fan of NASCAR and I'm not really a fan
of my father-in-law. So going there with him was just
like, yeah, I'll do it. So this was back.

(16:30):
This was the actually what got me to quit the Tramadol.
So I take in like 6 or 7 when wewent and then we get there and
while we were there, you know, the fucking car start driving
by. But it was the helicopters in
the sky kept looking at and I was getting real lightheaded and
I had my first ever panic attack, which before then
anything with anxiety, I was just like one of those just go

(16:52):
outside and touch some grass, brother, get some sunlight,
breathe a little bit, Don't be abitch like, you know what I'm
saying? So that's, that's when I kind of
had that first one. And then I took him home or we
went home and then he needed me to drive him to Charlotte
airport. And I drive him to Charlotte
airport and you know, the airplanes are flying over and I
just, it's doing the same thing.And on the way back, man, I

(17:14):
thought I was having a heart attack.
And for a good eight months after that, I was just like, now
I'm going through all this shit where the first time in my life,
I'm still young at this point, early 20's, the first time in my
life I just feel like I'm not, I'm not immortal anymore.
Yeah, like, I feel like I'm mortal.
I'm, I'm coming to terms with morality and shit or mortality

(17:35):
and shit. And it's caused the whole slew
of like, now I'm dealing with anxiety and, you know, coming to
terms with that one day I'm going to die.
And the worst part was, was the thought of leaving my children
behind. Like, I don't care if I just
die, but like leaving them behind and how they feel.
Like when I was thinking about this stuff, it wasn't me being
sad or anything like that. The best way to get over that,

(17:59):
bud, is to just understand there's shit in life you can't
control. No matter how bad you want to
control it, it's out of your hands.
So the best thing to do when something's out of your hands,
not give a fuck about it. Me anytime I have something
like, you know, weird play starts hurting hearts beating
fast or whatever, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna give it two
weeks. If it's still there, I'll go get

(18:19):
a job, start worrying about it. That's the that's the thing that
really got me over that hump. And since then I've been able to
deal with shit pretty well. But it's it's weird having that,
you know, moment in life where you're this kid who fucking.
Like I said, I was doing tons ofdrugs.
Like now I have to look it up the back of like an ibuprofen
bottle. I'm like, I don't want to do too

(18:40):
much now. I'll take two of them instead of
four. Yeah.
Where I would just, you know, I would.
I did bath salts one time because the guy was like, hey,
you want to try this? And I didn't even know what it
was drunk. Sure.
My friend Matt actually did it with us.
And he's like walking around. He's like, I mean, I can feel my
heartbeat. I can feel my heart beating.
I was like, that is good, ain't it?
I'm pretty up right now. Yeah.

(19:00):
He was. He was pretty freaked out about
it. But yeah, it's tough, man.
And I do hope that you get shit figured out.
But also, you got to realize your father's old, and just
because they're a man's having heart problems in his 50s and
60s, even his late 40s, does notmean that you're going to have
the same problems. I think my advice on that is
like, it's one of those things where, yeah, at some point

(19:21):
you're going to need to go and get that checked out.
And like the mental health thing, yeah, that's also
something that you can avoid things.
And I've done this with my life and with different ailments and
things like that. You can avoid it for as long as
you can stand. But you know, technically with
most things, the sooner you actually find out about it and
it's not as scary. Like even if you were to have

(19:42):
the same heart issue as him, youcan make decisions today that
actually improve that situation later in life.
So you know it's it is scary to face it, but at the same time,
if you face it now, you can set yourself up for a greater
success in the future. Like avoiding something does not
make it necessarily better. Well, you can tell how he wrote
it. His fear is is that he is

(20:04):
scared. He doesn't want the top doctors
to tell him that it's nothing and him just like sit there and
wonder, but also he doesn't wantit to turn out to be something
bad like that's his big fear in it.
So he's in a lose lose situation.
So even if bro, even if your fucking hearts giving out if you
got if cancer or whatever, the best thing to do is just not not

(20:25):
fucking worry about man, because.
Yeah, like I mean you it's. People are resilient.
It's resilient. Stoicism thing though, like you,
you actually he has the ability to go and find out whether he's
got the same likelihood of having this disease or whatever
that his dad does, which then allows you to maybe exercise
more, eat better, do whatever and like change your life.

(20:47):
Like if you don't have that outlook on life, then just roll
on with what you got. But if you actually want to
impact it, like there is the thing that you can affect right
now, which is find out about it and then make decisions in your
life based upon that. Or you can ignore it.
And like, I mean, I guess that'spart of the stoicism thing too,

(21:07):
is like, whatever, if I don't know about it doesn't matter.
But there's a situation where technically, if you want to live
a long, happy, healthy life, yougo ahead and find out about it
now, prepare yourself like, and then decide like, OK, well, if I
were to actually take care of myhealth, I'm more likely to not
be in the situation that my dad's in.
Brother, listen, I'm at the point now, though, because I,

(21:30):
like I said, I used to be like that where I was like, you know,
they're just going to tell me it's nothing and it probably is
nothing. But when they tell me it's
nothing, I'm just going to, you know, believe that they just
didn't catch something. And then I'm going to try.
I'm going to do this all the wayuntil they figure out that it is
something terrible and I'm goingto die.
Now I'm, I'm to the point where I could be sitting in front of a
doctor and he'd be like, Mike, your heart's going out and

(21:51):
either you start eating right and exercising or in eight
months you ain't going to be here anymore.
And I'm like, so like, I start looking at coffins.
He's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like you can live a full, full
life if you just eat better and,you know, run some.
And I'm just going to be like, so, so coffins and talk to like
a funeral director start gettinglike a wheel in order.
He's like, no, no, no, you ain'tgot to do that, man.
Like if you just just exercise alot, I mean, a little bit, you

(22:14):
know, power walk outside. And I'm just like, yeah, so it's
probably be the last time I've seen you.
Doc is expensive, right? You know, unfortunately I ain't
got long, Doc. I just found this out and he's
like, yeah, for me. Yeah, no, I just think with him,
like his dad has a situation andit should be pretty easy.
Like he's not suffering from it currently.
So like it just runs in his family.
So like if you know that your family has this, you can make

(22:36):
decisions based upon that right now is my thing.
And you can affect that. If it's like cancer or
something, you can still like, you know, choose how you treat
it or not treat it or anything like that.
But like, no, I mean at least puts you in a position to do
something if you would like to, if you don't want to, like if
you want to take Mike's route and just be like, all right,
check out I'm. Going to interrupt you, but if I

(22:56):
had turned like terminal cancer because that's the one thing
though too, is I just want my kids to Remember Me how I was.
I don't want to like fucking heart attack great, because that
just takes you out. You know what I'm saying?
You don't wither away. But anything that like, like ALS
or something that Withers you away, I'm gonna wait until it
gets real bad. And then I'm just going to go
like, like Pew Pew. One of those halfway houses for
pedophiles got on a blaze of glory.

(23:18):
Because I don't want my like, look back and think, you know?
Like the trailer parks that theyhave down in Florida where they
just like these, this is where pedophiles let them just go in
there, like go. Through that, like that's why I
can't stand about Matt. They're always like schools
concerts. If they went through one of
those bro like you want to talk about they they want the the
infamy, the notoriety from doingit, they want.

(23:40):
People, you would be famous. You would be yes, but you would
be loved. You would be feared in the like.
You would have the infamy with all the right people like to
have infamy with pedophiles, buteverybody else would just
fucking love you. I guarantee you.
Also if you didn't like blast yourself at the end which is
like what, 99? Percent both cops take you out
or you. Know if you just get arrested

(24:00):
for it, there's a chance you just their mind just like he's
crazy or something like that. Or the jury's just like, meh.
Meh. So wait, who did he kill?
Oh yeah, no, we're we're good. Like not guilty.
Imagine being a District Attorney trying to fucking argue
against that He killed 92, how many children somebody touched
and then everybody's like oh what the fuck That sounds real

(24:21):
pedophile. Like that's like I said in the
video one time and it'll I'll kind of reiterate it on the
first episode of Two Daddies, 2 daddies, 2 daddies judging
baddies about the one where the lady chooses a man who like an
old man who's attracted to his daughter.
There was a video one time that I was talking about that said,

(24:44):
yeah, so it was pretty much a Leonardo DiCaprio joke that, you
know, once a 17 year old girl turns 18, that one day did not
make them an adult. And it's still fucking weird.
Yeah. And I posted that and someone
had commented, commented below. And it was like, brother, you
sound like a liberal. I was like, I don't think it's
all left or right take to be like, yeah, it's cool to fuck.
He is. I don't think that's, I don't

(25:06):
think there's a take on either side.
Nobody has ever, ever brought that up.
Well, my great grandparents got married when they were 14,
right. Yeah, my also my grandma's 14.
Like it's like Shoeless Joe or Joe Jackson.
Yeah, Shoeless Joe Jackson. He was 23 and married a 15 year
old. That's not good.
That's not good, brother. That though that was in like 19

(25:27):
O 8. So that's a different, different
time. Yeah, they have a brother.
Couldn't have known any better. And he's just like, what's the
what's the what they call it thewhere the age, age of consent,
almost said statue of limitations.
The age of consent was like, it's 14.
All right, well, fucking you've been an adult for a year now.

(25:47):
So fucking weird. Damn, I got off on that tangent.
I don't remember what I was talking about.
Oh yeah, I finished the I actually finished my thought
before I went off on a tangent. So yeah, I posted a a fucking
video that said that. And he was like you sound like
for saying that I don't like adults having sex with children
at. Least didn't call you like a
libtard or what? Oh man, I.
Got called, I get. Called names, I get called
libtard for my takes. I get called a fascist, A

(26:10):
maggot. I'm just like, I'm just a normal
fucking person and if I say something.
You guys realize that both of you are calling me the other
name both of you like so both ofyou are mad about my take.
Don't slam. Your cup down.
Oh yeah, fuck me. But it's just so like, I don't
have to. There could just be either side.

(26:31):
Yeah, I could have a normal fucking rational take on
something. Yes, there can be a normal take
that's not based in any right is.
Right about some stuff, the leftis right about some stuff.
I do not have to pick everythingfrom every side.
And then there's like shitty people in both sides of like,
they're just shitty humans. And we can agree that like,
maybe that's not. Like words that are all the way
to the right and ones that are all the way to the left.
I just wish they'd go ahead and battle it out so America could

(26:53):
be normal again. It will never be.
Just go through like 1 super war.
Well, one one of the things is though, is that it's not really
even the people. It's the media that they get
angry about. Like the media just likes to
portray people like the worst sides of each side.
They go to the the, the far depths of both sides of crazy to
make each side hate each other. And it works phenomenally.

(27:13):
And they look like a villain because like, yeah, like, no,
that that is fun. Like they get the one person
that has like the nose ring that's like button down to the
lip that goes up to like their ears and their hairs green and
they have a beard and boobs at the same time.
And it's just like the other side's like I feel really
uncomfortable and they're. So in that.
And then on the other, the otherend of the spectrum, they got
one guy that's just like, yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't like

(27:36):
black people being in the mouth.I think they're, you know,
sending and then they're like, oh, the whole right thinks about
that. That's not no, there's the
fucking normal people. There's black people in the
right and then they left the whole time.
They're like they're like wolf people that want to teach gay to
your There's like bro, it's that's you remember the the
minority, not the majority. Them putting Kitty litter boxes
in schools debate. That never happened.

(27:58):
But everybody believed. It bro, I said that so
assuredly. And another thing that another
thing that they do, and I'm not going to like mention any names
on either side, like I'm not going to reference none of like
the Charlie Kirks or anybody like that.
But people like that that do theinterviews and shit with the
other side. Those are paid fucking

(28:18):
interviews. But I don't know if you guys
know this, but they pay somebodyright and left, people that want
to push their sides and seem like a really smart person and
just pawn the other side and ownthem.
They fucking pay people to come up and say them like the most
egregious shit that nobody fucking believes.
And then they're like, well, this right here, silver bullet

(28:39):
to your argument. Bam, yeah, it's a real fucking
easy silver bullet to say, hey, like, so you believe that 6 year
olds, you should be able to do sex changes on 6 year olds.
That's what you believe in. The other person be like, yeah,
it's their child should be able to chit.
And then he'll be like, well, this right here.
I'm like, bro, nobody fucking believes that.

(29:00):
Jesus Christ. But let's get off of politics
more. Yeah, Mike and Dylan hate drama.
Mike's like getting real into it.
Do you really hate it, Mike? Do you really hate it?
Mike and Dylan hate politics. And I used to man, listen, I
fucked with some joke lips, but God damn bro let just like back
in the day, he'd be like he'd assess shit and he'd let it like

(29:21):
seep in. Now someone could tell him
literally anything. He believes it, just believes it
right there and then. We'll fucking throw that up and
like an expert. I'm like, brother, you got a he
used to be like, ah well, and use cognitive thinking to
fucking bounce back and forth. But I think he's also getting
back to that instead of being sohard on one side.
He's. Well, I think it's like what
happened with South Park when they had the whole election

(29:44):
thing during the Trump and Hillary thing, like they, they
were pushing the boundaries of like how current they could be.
And, and like with Joe, like he pushed the boundaries of like
being a free open dialogue space.
And then now he's like, wait a second, like they said this
thing, but they're actually doing this thing.
So it's, and it's like, I mean, it's a learning experience too.

(30:06):
I still fuck with a lot of his clips.
I cannot watch an hour to hour podcast.
People love him or hate him. I mean, it's the same dichotomy
of like politics is like you either have to think he's the
devil or you think he's like thesavior.
And it's like, no, he could justbe a guy.
He's just a guy. Yeah, that's, that's the, that's
how I view him. That's how I've always viewed
him like. And what's so funny is,
especially a couple years ago, the whole right would be like,

(30:26):
well, you know, Joe Rogan's liberal.
He's liberal, Yeah. And then the liberals will be
like, well, you know, Joe Rogan's a MAGA person.
I don't fucking know what they call the.
What do they call them? I mean.
It's the Lib. Tart's the best.
I'm sorry, but Lib tart is just it's so dumb.
It works. It's and then they say maggots,
which I mean it fits so good because mega and just putting

(30:47):
the T behind it, it does that isa great one.
It just fits too well and. None of those burns are actually
like, it's just like they're alldumb.
Like when you I'm. Gonna say one thing though the
right has a big advantage in thearguing space cuz the, the
people on the left will like saytheir fucking point guys like

(31:07):
sounds gay like and then the fucking the people on the left,
they'll make like clappy songs like get your fingers off my
body. And I'm like, bro, that's the
corniest fucking shit, the corniest shit.
And if you can't say like if youcan't call people gay because
they do like to fuck. They are real.
What is the word holier than thou?

(31:29):
There's a lot of there. There's a lot of holier than
thou over there. We're on the on the right.
It is like especially when you go more towards like the far
left, they get really holier than thou.
Well, you got to be you. Got to be, yeah, you got to be
this like, I love black people infinitely more than you ever
can. Like with, with trans people, I

(31:50):
once a fucking, I turn, I, I chopped my Weiner.
You know, they get like really weird over there.
And then as soon as like one of them fucks up and they'll, they
roast them. Yeah, they, they, well, they
just consume them Like they fucking cancel them and they're
gone. Well, that was like the.
But on the far right, once you get like all the way to where
like the fucking crazies are andthey're like, yeah, man, they're

(32:10):
fucking, they're fucking puttingkids and like fucking chairs and
they're shipping them off to to these to these billionaires to
collect in their house. The people like near the center
of the road be like fucking sound crazy, brother, But fuck,
you want to play some pool or something?
Probably probably not. Talk about that where people can
hear. So they do have a better

(32:31):
repertoire with that shit. I think my best example of like
the crazy, crazy left and like, you know, both me and Mike, we
don't prescribe to any politicalview.
Of friends of all political affiliations.
It was the the stereotypical Karen that was trying to like
basically judge somebody for cultural appropriation at like a

(32:53):
Taco truck. And then like, it's, it's like
some white guy that's the actualwaiter.
But then the guy cooking in the back is like Chinese.
And then like, you know the person that owns it and she's
he's the boyfriend or friend waslike you don't know who to be
offended by right now, do you? Was.
It like a skit. Or something.
Yeah. And it was, it was just funny
because, like, it is one of those things where, you know, a

(33:15):
lot of white people are the biggest advocates for these
things that a lot of people in that actual class are like, now
we're cool with it. Like, not not a big deal.
We're not going to die on that hill.
And then the white people are like.
We have to like, fight to the death.
For this 'cause that like the people that are actually
affected by it are like now we got bigger shit to worry about.

(33:37):
We got bigger fish to right like.
My thing with the fucking right is though, is they they just
look at a meme and believe it and I'm like, Yep, that's that's
factual right there. Any video?
I have a friend on Facebook. I'm not going to say his name
just in case he watches these because it probably does.
But maybe I can do some juicy, juicy fucking information from
Mike and him doing all his. I don't do any fucking research,

(33:57):
but he shares videos and it'll be the craziest shit you've ever
fucking heard in your life. And then you'll look at the
comment section and it's just like, it's all old people and
they're just like, yeah, man, I,I believe it.
I was like, we shouldn't, you shouldn't just believe something
you see on the Internet. You motherfuckers told us to
never believe anything on the Internet.
And they will immediately they'll be like fucking well, I

(34:18):
saw a meme 2 days ago that said you better watch out.
They're putting the cat litter in the schools.
I said that man. I said that would like fucking
with what's a good with the Gunther?
Like I fucking I said it with mychest and someone was like, I
think that never happened. I'm pretty sure that's never
ever been a thing. I was like watch this.
Oh yeah, no, it never happened. Man, you know what's crazy?

(34:40):
Fucking dinosaurs all died in one target like.
It's so crazy, and that's where we get our.
Gasoline from that is beautiful.Let's go.
Let's get to another one we got.We went way long in that, but
I'm leaving and I don't give a fuck.
That's another thing man FuckingI am.
That's the one. That's the one you're supposed
to be reading now. You already read.
Oh, wait, what? Really.
No, I haven't read that one. That was a big one.

(35:01):
This one's pretty big. This one says title.
My sister really hates white people.
That's a good one to get startedwell.
Now we're right back in it. I'm back in Dear Mike and Dylan
rings better. I love the content and it helps
my shifts at Costco feel quickerthan they are.
Shout out Costco right sponsors.Me and Jess ate for $11.00

(35:25):
yesterday and we had a decent meal at Costco.
Bro it's they're so good. They have such good shit.
But bringing up the Costco thingI don't know why it made me
remember this. For the people with anxiety, the
best thing I ever found out if you're having like a panic
attack or something is do this. I learned that from a white
woman on TikTok who probably named her kid after a brand of
yogurt. But it works.

(35:45):
So I was like, fuck, yeah. All right.
We are first generation African Americans born to our two
immigrant parents. Black people like us.
Yes, you're. Oh, man, that is that is great.
Nah, I actually know that a ton of black people enjoy my content
just from like the Facebook and stuff.
When you look in the comment section, it's all black people.

(36:05):
And I'm just like, fuck yeah. Not all, but a lot.
Yeah. Well, you know, black people
fuck with me, so that's pretty nice.
So Needless to say, we are black.
I got that. Got that part.
Well, no, can't judge anymore because Drakus du Plessis, the
middle weight champion for the UFC, he is South American,
whiter than me. So if he came over here, he'd be

(36:27):
an African American? I don't fucking know, he said
South American. I don't.
No, he's yeah, he's from. South Africa.
South Africa, Yeah, No, South Africa, there's white people.
Oh well you know saw these othercountries with non.
Why would I pay attention to thenon?
I don't pay attention to the nonwhite countries.
He's like oh fuck I fucked up sending him sending him my
advice. Well growing up my sister was

(36:47):
always an asshole to me and my parents.
But as she got older, her anger and arrogance have gotten out of
hand. She gets angry at us for next to
no reason and cuts us off for a few days.
But the reason why is a lot worse now.
Because due to my mom getting diagnosed with cancer, we both
were fucking. I did not read that.
She gets angry at us for next tono reason and cuts us off for a

(37:07):
few days. But the reason why this is a lot
worse now is because due to my mom getting diagnosed with
cancer, we both moved in to helpher.
OK, there we go. I read too fast.
What? They don't put punctuation so I
don't know when to do my pause. That's what a comments for.
I do a slight pause and then I do a little bit longer pause
with the period. The only person that wasn't

(37:28):
keeping up with that was you in your head, but I think that you
read it all perfectly. I.
Don't think. I don't think I did.
I think it was fucking confusing.
Well, you do try to like race downhill with the reading of
these. Dylan's like, can I read the
stories? I'm like, yeah, but then I can't
fucking. I'm like, I have to read it to
fucking learn it. And so Dylan will read a story
and I'm like, wait, So what happened?
They were actually doing that. I'm just like getting the words

(37:48):
and they're like bouncing off mysmooth brain.
I honestly don't know when she became so racist but now she
never lets an hour go by withoutinsulting white people.
The reason why this affects me so much is my girlfriend of two
years that I prepare the plan onproposing to is white.
My sister has been very obvious in the fact that she doesn't
like my girlfriend but when my mom asked why she exploded and

(38:10):
said she's rude and doesn't speak to the family.
I know that she's just pulling reasons out of her ass because
my girlfriend is one of the sweetest people and everyone in
the family loves her. He put sweetest person is one of
the sweetest person. She graduates this week and even
my sister-in-law, my brother's wife want to come see her
graduate. This hasn't affected my

(38:30):
relationship in any way because I don't care what my sister
thinks but it does make me feel bad that it hurts my girlfriend.
It's caused me a lot of anger recently, but here in your guys
podcast has honesty brings me some happiness.
So I was curious here in the situation, what would you guys
do? Listen, it's tough.
It's tough. There is a lot of I don't know

(38:52):
on what this is. The bad thing with America is
that people get lumped into fucking groups.
I don't understand why people get there.
There's bad black people, there's bad white people,
there's bad Hispanic people and the cartels.
Every Hispanic person that I've met is always like the sweetest
fucking all the all the dads arelike they're short and they're
older and they're kind of Chuck and they fucking they're great
families too. Have you ever seen a a Hispanic

(39:13):
family at Walmart? You just said in cartels and
then like. Mexicans are either the most
like fucking adorable family you've ever seen or cartel.
That's it, That's it. Oh, once again you're lumping
them into groups. I look, I did it, but that's the
one you lump. That's the one you lump.

(39:35):
See, I, I, I agree with your take though, like, I mean, and
just to talk to your like about your sister, I mean, she's just
a toxic family member. That's that's normal across the
board with any family. Like you're going to have people
like you have a shitty uncle or a shitty aunt.
Like I know that for my family, there's just people that were
like, no, I don't fuck with them.

(39:55):
And like I'm sorry it's your sister and like obviously your
parents are going to care about her but like she's just your
shitty sister. Like your your girlfriend soon
to be fiance does not need to fuck with her and just be like
Nah we just don't talk about her.
We don't we don't jive with her at all.
Like we'll see her at family gatherings, but like, she's not
one of our people. And I just, I think that will
make you feel better too. Is that she's saying me and

(40:17):
hateful shit just ignore man. Because people who prioritize
that shit in their life instead of like living life.
Look, I don't give a fuck if youcare about politics.
That's a OK thing to care about.Once you make it your whole
personality. Just know that person's
miserable. They're never fucking happy.
There's nothing that makes them happy.
There's always something that they're upset about that they're
mad about. It just happens, man.

(40:38):
Like it happens. There's, you know, black people
who don't like white people, white people who don't like
black people. There's, there's fucking nothing
we can do about it. You're it's very hard to change
someone who's like that. Well, in the way that typically
that's going to change over timeis, I mean, it's the same
scenario as what you dealt with as a kid.
And like, you know, having KKK as part of your family or like,

(40:58):
you know, whatever step family, but like having that experience
and then having a legitimately nice experience with the people
that they're saying are so evil.The same thing goes for your
sister. Like she can, she can have in
her mind painted a picture of your of your fiance.
Let me finish my topic. But like she can have that
picture in her mind. But like as long as your

(41:19):
girlfriend doesn't play into hergames of like being rude or
anything like that, just be likehey, what up?
And like never. If she doesn't want to talk, she
doesn't want to talk. But like if she just literally
shows up in your family and everybody else supports her and
everybody else is excited to have her as part of the family,
your sister will either a never change and still be the same
girl she is, or she might see like, OK, maybe I'm misjudging

(41:42):
the situation. Maybe I am the one that's wrong
in putting this blame on somebody who hasn't done
anything wrong to me. The only thing that invalidates
your point now is that we have fucking the Internet and people
live in fucking echo chambers. So to have a good experience
with somebody now is it was incredibly difficult.
Well, no, not if you like it's it's if you live your whole

(42:04):
entire life and your whole brainis online, then sure.
And like you can find like. Most people, brother.
Yeah. But what I'm saying is when
you're at the family gathering, when you're at Thanksgiving, if
you guys celebrate it or Christmas or whatever, like if
you're at those gatherings and she's your sister's, being your
sister and your wife or fiance girlfriend currently never does

(42:25):
anything that is offensive or terrible towards your sister.
Like your sister has no ammo to go on.
Like she's just judging based upon her skin color, which is
wrong no matter which skin coloryou're judging.
And eventually maybe with enoughtimes of seeing that your wife
or girlfriend is an extremely good person at heart, maybe she

(42:46):
does eventually learn. Like it's.
It's not like any I. Don't know, I don't think she
should fucking sit back and takethe harassment and bullying.
I mean, she should fucking punchher in the mouth, you know what
I'm saying? Like.
And prove her point like that's the exact opposite of.
Like you're you're being had to like cater to something.
I'm. Not saying you, you were like,
oh, like it's, it's exactly whatwe were talking about with these

(43:07):
people that are like apologists for, you know, the other side of
the political spectrum, like left or right.
Like you don't have to accept it.
You don't have to like, but you also don't prove them right by
being the shit bag that they're saying you're being like so like
with her and if the rest of the family jives with her, she just
shows up and is still that greatperson.

(43:29):
If she's if the sister starts acting like a cunt, you're just
like, all right, whatever. Like you don't have to
participate and you don't have to like.
I mean, I know you joke about violence all the time, but like
that's never going to be the case at a family gathering
unless you have that drunk uncleor whatever that needs his ass
kicked. But like, like for the most
part, as long as nobody's like being physically hurt, you have

(43:51):
bitchy or asshole family membersand like the easiest way to
fucking get rid of them is to just be like, cool story, bro,
and then go back to being nice to everybody else that's in the
fucking group. Like you don't have to be the
asshole to back to them to fightthat.
Like, you don't, you don't win that fight by being more of an
asshole to that person, right? It just feels weird that the

(44:11):
girlfriend would have to go through every day of, you know,
the fucking, like, snide comments and shit like that.
And if she even do, they live together.
Shows emotion. One time they live with the mom.
Yeah. They both moved in to help the
mom with cancer. Does the girlfriend live in
there? I don't know.
Like, imagine if he gets married, He's probably not going
to continue to live at that house.
I don't know. As long as he's taking care of
mom. I do want to say I hope your mom
gets better. Definitely 100%.

(44:33):
That's one thing me and Dylan can agree on.
We have pretty much agree on everything.
I do think that violence in somecircumstances is.
It's just not worth it. It's just really hard to
dissuade a bully these days. They like to stick on it real
well and just a a subtle but firm pop to the nose really.
Then they're like, man, I think twice about that.

(44:54):
Yeah, I I don't think you're going to fix racism that way.
No, you're not going to fix racism that way.
But I don't know. I mean, there's been a lot of
those fights that have went on through racist history.
That's rough. I don't understand why you would
listen to this podcast and be like, I got to I got to ask Mike
a race racially motivated advicepiece.
I think that one was like one ofthe best ones that we've had
because you know, it. It's the the alternative to like

(45:18):
kind of your childhood and who were in your life.
And he's from a different country that moved here and like
to see that racism from that side coming this way.
Like that's one thing that's nottalked about a lot, but it's
it's definitely there. It's who's from a different
country. The the guy that wrote it.
I mean, he's African American. He's from like his parents are

(45:40):
first generation immigrants and.Oh, is that what I'm saying?
He's their first, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.
Like his parents are immigrants and then he's him and his sister
are first generation. But it's it's another one of
those scenarios of like, oh, this is.
Not even the fucking story. I'm like.
Where is it at? But they're like, I dated A

(46:00):
Hispanic girl and they were racist against other Hispanics
and black people. Oh man.
And Asians like I mean. White people get a lot of the
flag man, but online bro Mexicans and black people go to
war. They go to war and that's just
like they get both sides get by with saying whatever.
I'm just like that's wild. They go at it though.
Yeah, well, I mean go. To Instagram, any Instagram post

(46:24):
of a just a Hispanic guy doing anything or a black guy doing
anything and just look at the comments.
Well, they used to call them Germans instead of calling when
they talk about black people, the Hispanic people, when they
talked about black people, they would call them Germans so that
people didn't know that they were talking about black people.
Like, so that was like their code word of being racist was

(46:45):
they'd be like the Germans. I wonder if.
Because nobody, nobody ever getsmad when you talk bad about the
Germans like. I wonder if like Germans today,
like people are like you, you, your people did the Holocaust
and I'm like, I didn't tell themto.
Like I wasn't sitting there mailing.
Yeah, do that fucking terrible ass shit.
Well, the crazy thing is, it's game.

(47:05):
I wonder. If it happens over there.
That style of stuff is not that far fetched anymore.
Like, I mean, people around the world are like, Oh well, maybe
we could do that. Maybe we could do that again.
Shit gets weird, man, Shit gets weird.
All right, so hopefully this one's way more light hearted.
This is a good send off to put people over onto the am I the

(47:27):
assholes where we won't go right?
Like, I don't want to hear this shit at fucking all, buddy.
All right, this one says work advice.
Thank God. So this is this black guy at
work. Oh fuck.
Fuck it with you. That's not how that one starts
I. Can't.
I can't escape it, all right, The message says.
If you want to use my name, that's cool.
Dylan always deletes him so. I took him off.

(47:48):
Hi Mike and Dylan, I was needingsome advice about my job.
I'll do the best to keep it short and sweet but also
providing as much context as possible.
So to basically some of my life I've never really had any
aspirations. Samesies samsies brother.
Like I hated growing up and justlike there was nothing I really
wanted to be as I lawyer not. I looked at so many kids who had

(48:10):
like dreams and shit and I was like man, must be nice.
I don't want to do none of that shit.
I fell into mine. Like even acting and shit like
or fucking comedy. It wasn't like when I was going
through high school, that wasn'tlike, that's what I want to do.
And still to this day I was like, wow, I'm trying to get
passionate about something. I don't know what I'll be when I
grow up. Right.
Yeah, I don't. I don't know.

(48:31):
Yeah, I'm still trying to figurethat out.
We'll find out in 40 years. Oh, Mike chose to be homeless.
Not 40 years. That's 10 years. 10 years from
now, we'll find out. About 40 years from now, I will.
I'll be long gone. I started having suicidal
thoughts and tendencies at 10 years old.
I never thought I'd do anything with my life.
I told myself I was hanging on for people around me.

(48:52):
When I finally got out of high school and it was time to start
working, I ended up just workingin a warehouse and picking some
forklifting, picking up some forklift experience.
Nice. This allowed me to become a
forklift operator and move around jobs a couple of times
and managed to start making moremoney than I ever thought I
would. It wasn't much but I didn't
think I'd have anything more than minimum wage.
I ended up getting in a loving relationship and I was blessed

(49:14):
with the most wonderful daughterand partner from this.
Having my daughter. Having my daughter completely
changed my life. I have stopped the suicidal
tendencies for the most part. It even made me step up and get
a promotion at my company. I went from just a forklift
operator material handler to a much more important role.
I work at a company where we make oil for all different types
of small engines and my positionis a blender so I'm in charge of

(49:36):
actually making all the fluid. It could be very stressful
because a mistake can easily cost hundreds of thousands of
dollars. I love the job because it's
hands on and I've worked my way into a good spot in the company.
Anytime they need help at one ofthe other locations I'm the
first one of the higher ups to come see if I can help out.
The problem with the company is is since November we have slowed
down drastically. We went from 60 hours a week to

(49:58):
barely get in our 40 with no real promise of picking back up
anytime soon. This has started to affect me
because I'm barely scraping by and live in check to check.
Where I need advice is there's acompany down the street that
pays forklift operators $3 more an hour and there's a
opportunity for overtime consistently, but I'd be at the
back of the bottom of the totem pole and just a regular worker.
If I stay in my role I can much move to a much bigger role in a

(50:21):
big city and in three years, oh wait shit move to a much bigger
city in three years to work at arefinery and start making
100,000 or more according to my supervisors.
Sorry this was jug out, hope it wasn't that hard to read.
Thanks for all your content and honestly gets us through our
day. Hopefully you and Dylan will get
that big payday you both deservesoon.

(50:41):
Brother. I need it, brother.
Listen, I like I said, I worked at a, you know, box shop and
then I went to be a supervisor making more money.
The thing is, is I'm like you. I find my happiness when I'm
with my children. So above all of you know, when

(51:02):
you're looking and deciding for a job, I understand, you know,
you want to get your kids nice things.
You want to set them up for success and everything like
that. The ideal, the ideal situation
is that you find that and are able to spend time with your
kids. But if somewhere pays a little
bit less and you get to spend more time with your daughter,
the obviously the one person in life who makes you happy makes

(51:24):
you want to actually be on this planet.
That's what I prioritize becausewe do get really, really stuck
on we, we feel bad if we can't get our kid something they want
right here, you know, right hereand now if we can't get it for
them. The thing is, is in, you know,
10 to 15 years, your daughter's not going to remember, man.
This one time I wanted this and my dad got it or didn't get it

(51:47):
for me. She's just going to remember the
times that dad was there. So just out of all these jobs,
yeah. I mean, you really didn't get it
going to like the hours and stuff like that.
If you're able to hit somewhere close to where, you know, you're
getting by decently and you're able to spend time with your
daughter, that's what I prioritize, man.
Cuz that's where your happiness is going to be because I was the

(52:07):
one that was working, you know, 12 hours, seven days a week
because fucking bringing in, youknow, more money than I've ever
seen. I was able to, you know, get a
house and everything and turn mylife around.
And I was just like, man, I'm getting all the stuff.
I'm not fucking happy. And I'd get videos of, you know,
my daughter doing cheerleading, singing to me in a car.
So, you know, I'd get happy birthday videos where she's
singing to me because I work third shift.

(52:29):
They would always send one at midnight when I on me and Amy
share the same birthday. By the way, they would send me a
video on our birthday. So that's just what I that's
what I prioritize. Also, fuck, I need to are these
around North Carolina Cuz I got to get I got to I got to figure
something out. Yeah, I think I, I mean, my take

(52:51):
is very similar to, to Mike's take, but I, I think the thing
that, you know, you say you're barely scraping by.
What can you make? How can you make your living
expenses smaller? Because that's one of the first
things you can do is like cut unneeded stuff and be able to
survive in the situation that you're in or, you know, if you
were to move to another place, but like prioritize the family

(53:12):
first. But one of the easiest things
you can do is not spend so much money because it's so easy to
like grow into a lifestyle. You were used to the 60 hour, 60
hour a week paychecks. And like that would be something
I would look at going forward islike live off of your 40 and 60s
going into savings or whatever. But like you should never like
depend on the overtime. Dylan is responsible adult.

(53:35):
He is. Well, when the stuff he's saying
like I, I all the streaming platforms, I was like, I don't
even fucking watch these. Yeah, why do I have them?
One was like crevo bleep, bleep blocks.
I'm like, why do I even fucking have these?
So that is definitely a path youcan take.
I'm I'm decently irresponsible. Not like crazily irresponsible.
My irresponsibility comes more from like I smoke a cigarettes

(53:58):
and drink energy shots. I need to fucking.
Those are the things. To cut out.
Right. Yeah, but everything's pretty
much everything by this point. Everything's been cut out so.
But that was one of the things when I first went full time
working for myself, I had saved up a decent amount and then like
kind of was just living off of that.
But that was, I think my daughter was maybe 9 months old

(54:20):
at the time. And I, I went out and I tried to
find work and everything like that, but I spent a lot of my
time just with her be in there for nap time doing like anything
that I could with her. So I got to see her first steps
and I got to do all those things.
And I went from savings to nothing before, like money
started out of work before moneystarted rolling in.

(54:40):
And I, I was, you know, working and doing things to do that.
But like, technically I always look back and I'm like, I should
have just stayed with my full time job.
But then when I look at it like I would not have been there for
all those key moments. I would have been working
overtime. I would have been, you know,
every single day I'd be gone offto work and all those moments.
So being able to feed her lunch or like be part of the family
while she was like really cominginto her own.

(55:03):
And I'm still at this point, she's 4 and I get to be in a lot
of those moments because of whatwe do.
And we are starving and broke atthe same time.
But like I would rather be starving and broke than making a
shit ton of money and never. Like me and Dylan could be like
fucking, I don't know, travelingto state to state to do fucking
stand up comedy shows and shit like that.
But I'm not. I'm not going to sacrifice my

(55:26):
relationship with my children because listen to any fucking
comedian that's ever been on a podcast, it was like, well, you
know, I either have a terrible relationship with my kids or
they don't know who the fuck I am.
So the. Way that I heard it said.
And like, it's stuck with me ever since.
And it's kind of the point that you're getting at with like not
buying them. The stuff is one of my friend's
dad's, like he was battling cancer and he passed away from

(55:47):
that. But she had said, like my dad,
my dad didn't always get me whatI want, but he always gave me
what I need. And like that's The thing is
like the needs like a roof over your head, food in your belly
like. Brother, I'm so convinced that
you were like a 90 year old guy and then you did like one of
those get out moments where you put your brain because that's

(56:09):
like, bro, that's what dads say.That's what like old dads say.
Not even us dads. I remember back when we were
kids, man, dads were old. They were fucking old people.
Me and Amy are the youngest, like all the little kids in
there. They're like, yeah, my dad's
like 60. I'm like, wow, he's going to
fucking die before you graduate high school.
And then he's like, what? He's like, sorry, brother.
That's the, that's the nature ofthe beast. 60 years old.

(56:30):
You want to have a kid like theyare all old.
And I'm like, that's wild. A lot of people waited and
waited and waited. Like, and I mean, honestly, I
didn't have my daughter until I was 33 and like a lot of people
wait. For so long to have their kids
and I mean, yeah, it is one of those things like I'm my parents
were 30 when they had me I was 33 when I.

(56:50):
I think it's more enjoyable to be because I can't tell you what
it's like to be a old parent, but it's more enjoyable because
you can like, like me and my kids will play Roblox together.
I don't think that would have happened if I got.
To be like 72 and still playing Roblox, that's just you.
That's. Your style, Yeah, I'm making a
heart. So that fucking sucks, though.
I wish I was the Dylan the you know what you need and saving

(57:10):
and everything. Fuck, I was about to say
something and it left my brain. That's all Good did.
You cut me off. I'm the first time I am the one
who cuts off people. I got it.
So yeah, fucking crazy episode. I don't know.
We got really, I say decently political.
I don't think really political. They were both all like, I don't
think either side hearing it's going to be mad, but also

(57:33):
they're just going to be like don't talk about it again, guys,
just shut the fuck up, OK. You can never say anything that
like pleases both like we shouldall just come together even
though it's. It's technically what they'll be
saying, like both sides could say the same thing and be like
this is what? And they will cut each other's
throats saying like you're a Nazi, you're a fascist, like
you're the worst. And it's like you guys said the
same. Thing the dark out, so there's a

(57:54):
dark out. I'm just going to say the
fucking joke. Both sides call each other
Nazis. And I was like, you know what
America needs? We need like rock.
And then I said, I was like, I'mgoing to start a real Nazi
movement so both sides could be like, oh, fuck, this goes.
And then I was going to be the enemy, the common enemy.
That man had to fight to unite the world.
And I was like, maybe we shouldn't send that out to

(58:15):
people. That's just the IT was one of
those sleepless jokes. I was like.
Did I really say that I was going to start a Nazi movement
just so like all of America be like, we got to fight that?
Guy, they'd still find a way that like one of them would be
like, well, he's kind of right on that.
Or that they would find a way tostill be snap.
I think we need like true evil threat on something just like

(58:36):
nobody agrees on or we all just Speaking of something that
nobody agrees on. What the fuck is it called?
South Park had an episode of it and I did not think it was real,
but it was something. It's like a it's, it's a
organization where they are attracted to children.
Nambla or nambla? Or yeah, it's like NAMBLA or

(58:58):
something like that. Real fucking organization.
Real. They still have members.
And I'm like, but why don't we all just fight these guys?
Like, could you imagine like a fucking, you know, Midwestern
country boy teamed up with like someone with blue hair and a
bunch of piercings, like the thethe abstract of both sides just
teaming up together to beat up apedophile.

(59:18):
That's that's fucking beautiful.How much cry say in that?
Like imagine that that would that would that would solve
America. We'll see in that would be
great. And then there's another option
is we could all just fucking understand that.
Like we're in this together and it's mostly working class poor
people against. There's no more olive branch.

(59:39):
If you extend the olive branch, the other person is going to
take you and beach with that olive.
Branch because of the media, because of the shit that people
ingest and the the arguments that they find passionate in.
See here's. The problem though, is, you
know, 100 people can listen to this podcast and be like, ah,
yes, I want to, you know, extend.
I want to, and, you know, I wantto come together as citizens.

(01:00:01):
And then as soon as that happens, millions of people are
going to be involved in a media story and.
Yeah, they'll find a way to switch it and make everybody
fight with each other again. But like, that's the part that
is. The sad part is like, yes, we
could find a common enemy. So like Nazis, say, or an Ambla
or nimbly or I can't remember what the name of it is, but like

(01:00:23):
or aliens or people could just be like, wait a second, we're
getting like drug around by our noses for all these other
reasons when like really we're just all of us are getting
fucked in this alley right here.Let's just team up on that one,
solve that one, and then we'll move on to the other things when
it makes sense. But instead, like it's
constantly keep everybody divided so nobody teams up and

(01:00:46):
you never get somebody that's actually going to do things to
improve the majority of Americans lives.
I don't know, there's too rational.
There might be a solution to allthis and it probably in lies and
titties because everybody likes that.
Like I said, there's not a singular person that just does
not. You can go to the most hardened
Christian elderly lady and she saw a pair of boost.

(01:01:07):
She went. Yeah.
Very, very supple like that's just that's just how it is.
Boobs, boobs cure everything. But listen guys, this has been
another episode of Mike and Dylan hate the podcast.
One day we are going to dissuadeyou from listening to this
podcast. We will.
We will try our hardest because.Today might be that day.
Today might be that day, but we will see you guys next time and

(01:01:28):
make sure to check out Two Daddies Judge and Baddies on
Spotify and wherever you see getyour podcast needs from.
I don't know, it's going to be in the description of whatever
the fuck platform you're on. Thanks for tuning in.
Later I stole it.