Why The World Needs an ALIEN INVASION - Mother's Day Confessions | MADHD Ep10 | - Mike and Dylan HATE! Drama

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
All right, roll bear. Double bound down my condolences
drum, but the bow. Wow.
So Dylan told me to give a pausebefore because there was a the
intro the one that I finally made last time.
Yeah, so let us guys let us knowif you enjoy it.
The new intro but welcome back to another episode of Mike and

(00:21):
Dylan hate drama where we give advice to the people and read.
Am I the assholes from Reddit because I don't know.
People like to like to hear thatstuff.
We don't have any Reddit reads today.
We just have Justice that peoplesubmitted on the website.
Mike, and Dylan hate drama m. I k e a n d.
Y l. A n.com.

(00:42):
Oh man, we not that other park each time on our own, though,
nine front of the, which I guessis good to perform in front of a
camera but not in front of the camera.
We just bought everything we say.
It's the same as your only fans content.
It'd be like, it'd be like a porn star, who couldn't get it
up like anywhere else except forwhen he's being recorded.
It's like look I'm just so used to Game On.
Yeah, I'm working with work and that's the only way I can get it

(01:05):
up. So we are recording this episode
on Mother's day. What's going out tomorrow?
So Monday morning, you'll hear it.
But we are currently Sunday morning sitting here, right?
We ignoring our wise right now to shoot a podcast.
They're still sleeping, mine is minus 2.
Yeah. So yeah, they are, they get that

(01:25):
luxury. So, um, you know, a lot of
people will be like, Mike, what'd you get Amy for Mother's
Day and nothing like, why am I gonna get you a gift for doing
your job? What the fuck, what kind of
society do you live in where youget gifts for taking care of
your responsible motherfuking abilities?
Baby? Did you say that to her?
No. Fuck not seem so she could

(01:49):
punch. She has a, she has a pretty good
punch on her. Speaking of punch the big thing
on social media right now it was100 people versus a gorilla,
which listen that's actually a sad concept because all the
gorilla would do really as like try to run around and avoid the
people and they like we sweat. That's how we keep cool.
But mammals like that they pant.So he just eventually like back

(02:12):
up until like he pretty much overheated and died of
exhaustion. So people arguing about that.
It was just like a when I saw it, I'd like it's lost out of
you guys were making it out to be.
And gorillas are just, they're always fucking sweet to even the
big scary ones, they're just outthere, just fucking chilling
with their family, playing with each other.
So of course people were like, oh, but 100 was looking kill one

(02:34):
of those things. I'm no concept of the story.
So how do you fuck do you live under a rock?
Just don't oh yeah bro, it was a100 people versus a gorilla and
then it shifted to 100 people from America versus 100, people
from UK, which I don't know if they know this, but we already
fucking settled that debate like300 years ago.

(02:55):
So I'm, I can tell you, look, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna
tell people right now. How exactly 100 Americans versus
a hundred fucking people from the UK?
Would go? All right.
Imagine just a bunch of people. Just bunch of British people
standing in the field, right? Talking about who's mom has the
best. Brittle sksh, panty womper pie.
All right. And they're like, where the fuck

(03:15):
are the Americans? They're late.
We're not late because we're scared.
We're late because times are a bitch.
Yeah, fucking times ones are confusing as a motherfuker and
we're of America, she could fit a bunch of the UK's in America.
They talked about we're not, well, traveled, brother.
I've been like 13 states. That's like being the 13
countries. That's that's well travelled for
anybody else in the country. But imagine they're just sitting

(03:36):
there just like waiting on us and then off in the distance,
you know, they're fucking just like they start to hear Toby
Keith Courtesy of the Red, Whiteand Blue playing from like over
a hill. And I like, what the fuck is
that? And they're staring and then all
of a sudden, they just see a line of five just Big fat
motherfukers and the little Wal-Mart hover rounds coming up

(03:58):
a hill and they're like, what the fuck is this?
And that it's the battle music. It's starting like they, they
understand fully what's going onnow.
Nothing represents like America's come like America.
The nation is coming at you. Now, the 100 people that
represent us then the people whowould probably be in a little
bit better shape if they just got off that and walked, can we
get Mel Gibson to give us the Braveheart speech?

(04:19):
Look at this crazy. I'm gonna make a movie, like he
knows how to make a movie. That man, can that man lays it
down in Hollywood? All right, so that look the
five. Five little fucking Hoveround
fat people. They're coming off.
All right, now our population islike what their team percent
black people. I would say it's more than that,
but I don't know. Numbers, like 13%.

(04:40):
Listen, People, gonna be like myfucking looking at jokes.
That's why. I know that fucking percentage.
Jen's wild with that shit. Oh, So we got 13 black people,
the UK actually had to look it up.
They have their like, 4% black. I mean right there, that's who's

(05:02):
winning right there. All right.
But they're going to like try to, you know, they're gonna try
to flank us. They're gonna want to flank us
because, you know, it's hard to fucking either that imagine the
offensive line we have with those people in the the
Hoveround coming up. So they're going to try to flank
us but of course, we have 13 black people versus their four
black people. We have the we have the upper
hand on that. So, like, they're just, they

(05:24):
know, they can't go around, theyjust gotta wait, they got a
fucking brace themselves and tryto just like smash into the
line. But that's when all the fucking
just like the cornbread fed country, boys.
They each grabbed a fucking furry, and, just like it over.
I'm talking about the ones that have like, the nails, how many
furries and plugs? There's got to be, at least two
or three, and in the crowd of 100, there's got to be like two

(05:46):
or three of them and we just launched that over the line
which starts complete chaos. Okay.
Everybody's going just scared out of their mind.
They don't know what's happeningbecause now they have animal
people attacking them. Then that's when all of a sudden
ankles are breaking everywhere because there's holes dug all
over the place rednecks. Just digging holes all over the
field because then have nothing better to fucking just do a

(06:06):
couple holes. You know I'm saying brother bro
we would we would Squash them. Hey, I don't even it wouldn't
even be close, man. They were like oh, we got soccer
hooligans brother like they're like oh look how we act with
sports brother. We act like that in Walmart.
Like, that's a grocery store. Well and I have they not seen
like Philadelphia after the Eagles won.
Like have they not saying Walmart like we don't even need

(06:29):
Sports to act crazy in public. What's so funny too is like
they'll destroy their City at their team loses, we do that.
When we win like Philadelphia, whether they win or lose, the
Super Bowl is just they know like there's gonna have to be
recovery efforts what are they like flipping cars and lighting
them on fire and like having bonfire like I mean in England.
Are they doing that? I don't do not not when they

(06:52):
win. I think it's like when it's like
a bad call, they'll have like the riots and stuff like that.
I know when it's like two opposing teams but then
afterwards they're like having abeer with each other in the bar
afterwards. So like it's not a British
people, they don't get along andthey divided themselves about
like where I mean we divide ourselves too?
Yeah but I don't know, I think Americans unite on.
Foreign threats, well, so they're really good about that.

(07:15):
That's why I'm saying, man, we need aliens, like if we want to
do unite as a like a world that we need that, like, we need a
threat that we all have to line up again.
That's how man that's that's what's like beautiful about our
country. Not 11 bro we came together?
Yeah. Like nothing else.
I was like the one time, right? So now All I got to do to heal

(07:36):
the country is one up 9/11. So, yeah, there's any country
there's any kind of country out there ready to do that.
We'll see, I think we would win against the UK simply because
like, you know, 40% of those, people would have guns and over
in the UK. There'd be like that zero zombie
knives. We got a band a zombie.
Now I like imagine I might give me a fucking money almost.

(07:59):
Stabbed you real nice up in the street playing Halo thing,
right. There was a lady.
I think she got a held up with aknife.
Yeah, and I was somewhere over there in look, like I said,
America's we don't look at the global, okay?
We don't know where the fucking shit is, we don't know where
anything is, but she got held upsomewhere over there with, you

(08:20):
know, I might or not like that'sAustralia, whereas fucking
British whatever and she thoughtI was a joke, he was just like,
yeah me a puss. She was like, no, why are you
being serious right now? Like, it's so cool too.
Now that the pope is from Chicago.
There's one city that needs God.It's oh, that's just the the

(08:46):
jokes write themselves on that one.
That one's not even hard to justcome up with.
So I think we need to stop looking for stuff on Reddit and
just go with the current events.What is the pope do?
Dialysis or some allegedly, a bunch of inappropriate things.
But oh yeah, that's a Catholic priest, but he's over
Catholicism Rite. Catholics, what's?

(09:07):
I don't know. All the difference between
Christianity, that's the craziest, Catholicism about
Judaism. I don't know the difference in
all those. There's like so many
denominations of every like, doesn't matter.
And I'm not just picking on Christianity, but like Islam and
Judaism. Like there's, there's like so
many Like We can't agree on this.
Like, who's right, right? They all believe in the same.

(09:29):
God too. All the way up to like the was
the one for Islam Islamic. What religion?
Is that Muslim? Muslim?
The Muslim. Yeah.
So it's all the same God, like, the the top dude is the same
throughout. Like it's everybody's like, all
right, we know him, he's the guylike we know that's the guy.

(09:50):
Who was the other guy, you know,I'm saying the prophets were
the, I think the Jews. They they believed in Jesus too
didn't? They just like mother.
Mary is like in there is right? You just wasn't that Catholics
have mother Mary? Yeah and then they believe yeah
he just wasn't the sign God. And then Christians are like
Jesus was the son of God. But he's also God at the same

(10:12):
time, three different people. Oh one, he's three different
people but the same person. Yeah, fucking Inception right
there. So Blues your mind.
We should probably stop before we, oh no.
We haven't talked about any religion.
We haven't talked bad, about anyreligion, we're just talking and
generally believe in the same. The adult.
The same big guy. They're all the abrahamic or

(10:33):
yeah. Religions.
Why that name though? Look now I got to search now.
I got to research into it. That's what we should do.
We should bring like a fucking Catholic guy he'll allergens
Theologian on here so he can explain the difference.
As I said, we should bring a Catholic priest.
He's like I'm damn man got a kids around.
He's like is there look, there'sjust been enough of it, where I

(11:01):
mean the jokes are jokes got deal with it electrically
allegedly. Yeah not I watched that one
documentary. I should was Rough.
Thing is like I remember none ofit.
I think it's any any position ofpower like really like, I mean,
I remember in high school there was always, you know, the creepy
teacher that would hit on like you know teenage girls on it's
like well dude, like Here like 60.

(11:23):
They're like 13. That's always like the real
funny ones too, though. At least he's cares about it.
At least, it's not one of those.He's a charismatic child.
If you're gonna be a child predator, at least be an
entertaining one to the other people that you're not Predator
Rising. Hey, we have a shirt for that.
I think I'm wearing, oh yeah, lahmers lower like a kick back

(11:44):
and spit on Predators me too. Find it at Labor, mom.com.
Look at that. That's the easiest Segway.
We've had into the ad for labor law, which is our company, is
not like fucking we're doing an ad for which bro, if we get big
enough, how the fuck do I do an ad?
Cuz everybody watches the podcast, I don't do that.
Like, oh guys, you know this good hand cream.

(12:04):
Get this good hand cream. That makes your hands feel soft.
Like we could see your fucking jacket ass Man's brother.
Well, they always say that if you're gonna take a sponsorship
it should be something that you use.
So I think we're gonna have a rough time finding grants and
Magic the Gathering cards. That's all I got brother.
Like I don't buy anything. That's that's the only thing I
can sponsor. I'd be fine with one of these

(12:24):
energy drinks, giving us a sponsorship, you know, Five Hour
Energy. Talk to me back in the day.
Yeah, yeah, and they followed meand kept commenting on bunch of
videos. Yeah.
So I stopped fucking teasing me like that and just watch.
I know, it's like ran by like a regular person regularly fuk
with my, which makes its kind offunny.
I don't get that person fired bysaying this joke, but it makes
it funny though that they work for Five Hour Energy and they

(12:45):
like the mic, Steve bits again. Here, following Five Hour
Energy. We got one of those guys down
here, too. So nowhere is safe.
Speaking about getting your booty hole touched for.
Another really because, you knowthe priest that do in the
teachers that do you don't get anything good out of that.
But the Met Gala happened this weekend, all the Richest people

(13:08):
on Earth thinking that they there's something there there.
This fucking Third Dimension, fucking emotion.
Feeling Just deities dressed up in their looking like bananas
and shit like that. And we're art.
People are just man, they're fucking wet farts.
All right, I'm sorry if you're an art part somewhere, there's
no art person. Looking at them watching this

(13:29):
summer, like real people that have had real experience, but
the people that Met Gala are people that grew up a fluent,
okay. They have been Rich way longer
if they have ever been poor. Yeah, so when you got someone
like that, who's never really had to face real hardship.
They see other people facing hardship and they're like, fuck.
I wish that was me because look at the adversity, but what if I

(13:53):
just created my own version? Like, it's like, they'll be
dressed up as fucking Megatron, all right?
And this is how this is somehow the fucking best fashion on
Earth. Everybody is in.
WoW. Nobody like how did you come up
with this masterpiece right hereand like, Well, covid happened.
so, I had a sit in my 100 million dollar mansion alone,

(14:14):
With only my staff of people whowork for me that I'm 32 because
they're so beneath me my staff of 32, right?
Maintain nobody to talk to because I didn't let them speak
to me because obviously you got to do your fucking job.
God. I pay you for a reason.
It's like what you said, Amy right.
Just don't fucking look. Don't waste your time here.
Trying to talk to me. Okay, let me be alone and, and

(14:37):
deal with my suffering and peace.
So then, you know, they're like,fuck.
This is my moment. This is what I want to fuck in,
and this is where I came up withthat.
I felt like the emotion was taken away from me, for from
sitting in my 100 dollar mansion, 100 dollars. 100 100
million dollar mansion. Well, all my staff were working
around the clock. For, you know, everything I
needed. I was like, man.

(14:58):
I right now, I feel like a robot.
I'm so oppressed. Right.
I'm so oppressed and emotionlessthat.
I just felt like a robot. So, this is the robot outfit.
I came out with to represent that and then I had somebody
make it for me, right? That's somebody make it for me.
It was made by fucking World renowned you don't know what
their name is? Look, they're known.
I guess. Well enough because you know so

(15:20):
other countries which Shout out to other countries.
They have like a lot better likematernity paternity leave and
stuff like that. So they're hardships are a lot
different. So once hard, I think, once like
you get enough hardship down, that's when you get to think
about the goofy shit. The dumb stuff.
They don't really fucking matterwhich is like art.
Yeah. Which I mean, look at every
place, like every city that really focuses on Art and I'm

(15:44):
not going to call out any City, okay.
But every city that heavily focuses on Art are always shit
pounds. I was hoping you were just gonna
like, I'm not gonna call out anybody, and then be like this
city. Winston Salem.
Oh no, it's actually like in North Carolina, it's Asheville.
Well, Winston is all kind of. I wouldn't say they're kind of
there because they have more of a They have like more of like a

(16:07):
film scene. Wait, so you're saying
Asheville's shit. It's such a fun town.
Yeah, you would think that greatbands that come through there.
There's something about the people.
Well, I know people live there, people who fucking live.
There can tell you. They were like, yeah, man,
everybody hears like Have you seen the South Park where they
like fart in a cup and sniff it?That's what art towns are like,

(16:29):
but art in and of itself. Is something that is to be like
judged and people, formulate opinions on.
And once you have a culture thatdoes that, obviously, that
culture breeds like competitiveness and then it
turns into toxicity and fucking nut hugging and they're always
just the the slamming place on Earth.
I'm not hug, doesn't feel good last year at the Met Gala, you

(16:51):
know, we've been in a shit economy for a while now.
People are fucking struggling and they got that one bitch to
say, let them eat cake. That was fucking that's wild.
Let them eat cake. I remember, I don't remember it
because I wasn't there, but I remember reading about stories
where like the littlest infractions and we were like
fucking Fighting. We were 100 Americans versus 100

(17:14):
British people like real real shit but now it's just like,
fuck. You can say whatever you want to
because and like, collectively everybody was mad at that, they
were no people defending the, let them eat cake thing.
Neither side, neither side of the political spectrum, and they
all know, like, at this moment, that's moment.
Okay, look look forget about everything else that y'all talk
about deal with at this moment, you could just like team up and

(17:34):
take care of that problem. She was serious when she said
that or was she was made to say it, I think. the Met Gala is
really people that are like It'sgonna be a bit rough saying this
but it's like, fuck it there. Diddy people like they're
fucking yeah, you know. Like if you think if you think

(17:55):
that fucking culture stops at Diddy and Harvey Weinstein,
you're stupid. You're, you're outside of your
mind if you think that. So, the Met Gala is like a,
who's who of what did you have to fucking do to get here?
see, I think all of it is like, you know it we started the
conversation with the Catholic church and all that other stuff
but like I think that's the thing and it goes all across the

(18:15):
society is there's like really shitty people and they're a
percentage, but then there's like good people that are a
percentage. And then there's just like, you
know, really pretentious narcissistic people that are,
they're not necessarily like evil, but they just give no
shits about anybody else. And I do think that it's like,
you know, those those things don't change.
Whether it's poor people all theway up to rich people.

(18:36):
It's just with rich people. The money people have a lot more
money to the money. I give you this, if you don't go
tell the police, I will give youthis amount.
Yeah. How bad you want to be in this
movie right now? Yeah, I mean but I think like
it's still like those percentages and it's any time
that powers involved that it then creates those people that
but it is I mean it's a lot it'sa lot more prevalent in the

(18:59):
cultures like I said that judge like that.
That their their culture, their fucking Hobby whatever.
Yeah is centered around judging,you know, having opinions on
something. Trying to emulate emotion from
nothing so at a weird dream lastnight.
Do you want to talk about it? Fuck yeah.
What. So I had a dream that we were

(19:19):
actually about to make a movie and I've been watching the
studio with Seth Rogen. And he's like a studio head and
stuff and some reason Seth Rogenwas like yeah, I'll produce your
movie. Oh fuck, I would not in my pants
if Seth Rogen was like yeah I'llgo and I was like one of the

(19:43):
most genuine like celebrities out there.
Absolutely. Like there are you like you said
there's good people and there's bad people and you could tell
you the fucking good people. You saw his his thing with I
can't remember. He was in pineapple.
Pineapple Express James. Yeah.
And like all the ships that he went through and Seth initially
was like, you know, he's a good dude and then once he figured
out that he wasn't a good Duty he's like yeah I'm not gonna

(20:04):
work with him anymore and that'slike if someone was like you
know, Dylan Six, women have accused Dylan of sexual assault.
I'm like, well, I'm not going tolike that.
The judicial system is supposed to work.
All of you are innocent until proven guilty, okay?
So that's how I want to treat the relationship between us.
Like, if they're like, oh, thesebitches are making shit up, I'm

(20:25):
still gonna fucking my friend, all right.
But if they're like, you know, here's the video of him in the
massage parlor just and like, trying to like change.
Yeah. Really I have a new take on
this, right? That's like a fucking Deshawn
Watson and Justin Tucker. Now, Which just a Tucker.
He just got let go from the Baltimore Ravens, not for doing

(20:47):
allegedly. Doing what I haven't even read
up on that. We do really like legally look.
Yeah, it's good because I don't want to get.
So you are really. What are you gonna get?
Like, you gonna get this paper, they'll get a pod mic.
Yeah. Like that's a stainless steel
cup that you're drinking it out.We'll take that.
Yeah, you upgrade it from the damn mason jar.

(21:08):
That's yeah, that's that's gone.That's ours.
I got that because you're alwaysthirsty and so I figured that's
like two mason jars worth of water so it should last you
through these talk a lot about us.
Get dry. It does get dry.
All right, well we have Four advice.
I think it's for um, yeah, a viewer had recommended calling
the segment, the right advice. Because my last name's, right?

(21:30):
Look my name is Michael Wright. You can fucking Google me.
Everybody's name that everybody around where I live.
There's like 19 of us, good luckbut So they use my last name to
be like the right advice, which I didn't even see, Dylan.
So, which one was that on? I think those on it was actually
on Reddit on our Reddit ADHD. I completely forgot.
I even started that. Look, I got to get in there.

(21:51):
Yeah, I'm I've been in there. I posted about episode number
seven. I think the man is Dick one.
I think I like to reference thatevery single people like 90% of
the comments I've seen in the past couple days is about
mayonnaise dick and people they enjoyed that and listen There's
people that fucking, they were, like, hell, yeah, with the

(22:13):
cunnilingus training. Look, one guy.
Now, we're gonna do a whole pirate, you one guy.
But, yeah, but I like to think he said, let him represents the
people everybody is. I hate this fucking month.
Look, I got one trainer that just won't just trim it.
I want to cut it all off or you just chew on it.
I can't trim my beard without looking like I drive a fucking

(22:35):
souped, up truck and I park on the fucking divider line.
So, two cars can't buy take up two parking spots with my fuck.
Those are guys, those aren't trimmed beard guys, it's trim.
They are volunteer firefighters that have like a Carolina squat
truck, like they're a specific. All the genre of people, look
all the ball I was going to. I was gonna say this in the last

(22:56):
episode when we talked about that guy who was like, you know,
I went to this interview but he said I needed skills and stuff
like that. There was one guy.
I think his name is Joseph or something like that.
He used to work at the place. I used to work at and he was a
maintenance guy had. No.
Prior experience, but this like,if you're talking about, there
are some people like you could tell that they're just like
Heart of Gold type people, that was him.

(23:18):
And when he wanted to work there, he's just like a country
boy, he wanted to get a job there, but he didn't have any
experience and they referenced that he was like, yeah.
But I mean if I mean you hire me, I'll gain the experience and
I'll be, you know, one of the hardest workers that you have.
So they still hired them on because he was like, well, I'll
do it. I could do it even without
having experienced, they hired him on, and then like, a couple
months later, I mean, it's got left.
So, they brought him in, and he just, like, learned all that

(23:39):
stuff. Then he went to be a
firefighter. And like I said, that's one of
the guys where he's just like, so the ears just, yeah, just
good pee. And you got fucking just this
sitting down here. So, fucking exciting thing,
which is never happened to me atever.
I've never gotten invited to nothing.
Listen, no, I have never I don'tknow what it is about my

(24:01):
content. I think it's because I can't
stop cussing. All right.
And I'm a bit of a odd pickle and I'm not somebody you want to
bring around your brand to show off to be a you know like a
speaking, a speaking part of butme and Dylan are invited to the
NASCAR All-Star Race next weekend in North Wilkesboro this

(24:21):
weekend. Yeah this weekend North Wilkes
Speedway the speedway invited menot NASCAR.
So shout out, shout out to the speedway.
I like to think there was some guy there like oh bro fucking
love this dude and lives like right down the road and there's
like oh I was like fuck yeah I'll do it.
What? Oh we got him to Kersey Valley
to do that stuff. I know it is a NASCAR in Kersey

(24:44):
Valley. Well, we did get to go through
the, the hunt like four or five times.
And after that, like, you're like, okay, I've seen Olivia
wanted to do it twice every single time we went After the
first time it's like I'm not I don't want to walk two miles
brother. I'm on the first time we went
through the water seen like where I guess it was Jason or

(25:04):
whatever it was a Lincoln. Yeah.
And I was like, I don't know that we're supposed to do that
freezing. Cold outside, freezing cold, and
we're soaking wet, but was so funny about this lithium every
single time she wanted to be like that.
Let's go like two, three, four, five times.
And I was like, look, it's really starting to feel like
you're like I'm a little bit worried about Dad baby.
I could say if his life but justbe like, hey Dad, come walk.
Two miles with me four times in one trip.

(25:27):
This is actually right. I heard you hacking in the
morning we got a we got to get out here and start running.
It's a oh, yeah. So we're having it does have to
be that close the closer. You get the clear.
The sound is very noises a lot. So they could enjoy the nice
Downs of Michael Wright. This is somebody had mentioned
that they wanted you to start reading audiobooks even like He

(25:52):
even though you like struggled to read, they're like I'd listen
to it bro. But they would listen to
everybody else just hear it. And then they be like, all
right? And then a hairy fucking he
jumped up. Only jumped up on a desk and he
was like Hermione that they are lost where I was at where
nobody. That's okay.
Okay, just all that they would not, they would think it was.
Okay, everybody like what's going on in this story.

(26:14):
Imagine finding audiobook, that would be the greatest thing
ever. And the guys like fucking he's
like, all right guys, about to reach out Harry Potter.
So fucking gather around and just listen listen to what I'm
about to tell you. All right, so we got Four pieces
of advice today. No, am I the assholes or I
think? Well, the last one's kind of
like, am I think? So it's a longer more in-depth

(26:35):
story, right? The advice is short.
So, I think what we should do iswe should do like a couple of
advice one, am I? Yes, so I gotta save some of
those tiktok guys, all right. Yes, there's only so many.
There's like 1,000, well, I don't think tiktok will ever get
the submissions from Mike and dylan.com unless we cut it out
of the podcast because it's goodenough.
But like, I don't think tiktok will ever get.

(26:56):
We do gotta advertise podcast somehow.
Yeah I wish they would just let me go into the the r slash
podcast. Well, haven't you asked these
people to share it. Really won't do it do it.
They won't send it to a friend. Like, come on guys like they're
like, yeah look, I'm like they're guilty pleasure.
Yeah, all right. I don't want anybody knowing I
listen to this shit. Right.
The you as fine though, you likeevery comment is just like, I'm

(27:20):
so glad like Mike has Dylan. Who was like, just like a normal
person who can fucking, like, random back in.
There's only like proud of you. They would you are someone you
could take home to Mom. The thing that you leave at the
motel that you just paid an hourly rate for makes you feel
good, but that makes me feel dirty afterwards.
I'm not gay. I'm the, I'm the one you killed

(27:46):
because I'm like, I'm gonna I'm gonna spread your secret, bro.
I've seen so many stories of that.
I don't talk here recently, where was like a gay, a gay guy
who hated gay people like he hasa whole family and he quote,
unquote, gay people, but he was like fucking with a dude.
And then the dude was just like,you know, live your life and be
gay. And I'm gonna tell people you're
gay and then he was like, no, you're not murdered.

(28:09):
That happens way too often for because we referenced it in the
last episode or episode before. I think it was the last episode.
Yeah. The last episode where it's
always the people who are just like Homophobic, like super
duper though. Like where you're There's my
fucking hate gay people. They shouldn't exist.
Abomination to to God and everything.
Fucking wipe them off the face of the Earth.

(28:33):
And then, you know, just fuckingtwo months later.
Yeah. Or not, even that they fucking
two months later. You see him on, whatever County
Sheriff's page, because they were fucking touching a kid.
That's the wildest shit, you know, I don't understand to how
just anybody in any religion. I don't know if they have fakers
like everybody else. I mean, there's people that are

(28:54):
fully bought it and then there'speople that are Just hit the mic
what they call a really bad sound.
Oh and when you slam it down on the table it makes a really loud
sound. Don't don't close it.
Just don't close it and you don't have to open.
It was like in the end all over here, everything like him.
I'm just gonna let people know too.
I am, I am. I how do I say?

(29:15):
Atheist, not an atheist. I am.
Atheist, I believe in God. But I believe that.
So there's there's been a agnostic like that was something
that I had always like thought was like its own little tear.
Right, there's agnostic theist, who is like I believe that there
is something I just haven't prescribed to a single Like

(29:37):
right? I don't listen.
So you're in a agnostic theist, right?
I don't believe that. I believe in religious, man.
That's my thing. Look, we're gonna tell people
how it is. We ain't gonna sugarcoat shit.
All right, I believe that there's God, I do believe that
we were giving free will Free. Will means the absolute absence

(29:57):
of any intervention, that's whatthat means.
Like, there's no Miracles that are going to be performed, there
we are left to our own devices and it's It makes a lot more
sense too, because like having aGod that's like, oh I perform
Miracles. But then every day you read
about children with cancer dying, like humans were left to
our own devices and sometimes wereap what we sow.

(30:18):
Well, I mean all the time we read what we say.
Yeah, humans pay for the fuckingthe sins of humans.
But if you think about it in anyother aspect, you know, every
religion is like oh we were madein His image.
All right I love my kids unconditionally So you can't
tell me then that I was made in somebody's image and that he
does not have the fucking ability to to love with that

(30:44):
condition. Yeah, so that's another thing
that gets and if you think aboutthe role of a father, think
about the role of a father, if you were Child's child.
Got cancer. Can you perform a miracle
disabled? Can you do anything?
There's nothing. You can you can do after well,
even doctors can't fucking. You know.
They can go visit 900 galaxies over.

(31:05):
They can't fucking cure cancer. But I get for the people
listened and I gave a look, thatwas like I guarantee you.
It's out there. They have to have figured it out
by now. They could do everything,
they're making woolly mammoths brother.
You telling me, they can make a whole thing, but they can't take
one thing out of a thing. Yeah, no it's it's definitely a
profit margin thing. It is so father's role is just

(31:28):
offer guidance to to be like a you know, support to give you,
you know, fucking strength when you, you know you feel like you
don't have any just that's the role of a father to say that.
Hey they're going to like step in your life and perform
Miracles but then at the same time say he gave us free will,
that's the Free Will is the absolute absence of any
intervention. So Here, in agnostic theist.

(31:51):
But also too. And that's the craziest thing
because, I mean, you could talk,you can just talk to him.
That's it. That's all you gotta do, is just
talk to him. Like, you ain't gotta be, like,
like, all these other all the religions are like, hey, you
have to do this thing to this thing.
Just talk to him. Like, if I sit here and I talk
to you, all right? And whether any one of these,
you know, religions are the exact one, the exact this is,

(32:12):
this is exactly how it is. How do I then die?
You know, go to whatever alternate places after this one
after, you know, talking to him and all that shit like, oh, I
don't know you. I believe we have a better
relationship because there's nothing in between.
There's no, there's no in between.
There's no fucking. I got to think about this
before. I talk to him.
I got to do this or, you know, let him down and all that shit.

(32:33):
I just, I just never really ship.
So I, you know, the funny thing that popped in my head.
What was that? Like with the amount of like,
you have 1,000 of religions and like denominations of each of
those religions and all this other stuff, and you get up
there and he's like, sorry, he picked the wrong one.
There was 6500 choices. How was I supposed to get the

(32:54):
right answer? Like, Jesus Christ, even the
people that are like, you're devout followers, like they
disagree with each other. Like what's the deal here?
Like everybody did. Like and I There should never be
a book about something as important as like life and death
and it's just like, oh, so for interpretation brother.
Yeah. No no.

(33:15):
You don't leave that up until that's the one thing where
you're just like look, it's laidout.
All right, everything's cut and dry.
That's how it is. Don't tell me.
Hey, don't believe in the new. Go to the old or don't believe
in the old, go to the new or this that third?
I don't know, the other religions.
So okay. I can't talk about their stuff.
What did Jewish people do? They eat?
The the or no, that's that Catholic who eats the body and

(33:36):
drinks the blood I think that's a lot of them.
But yeah, Catholics stuff like one of them.
Yeah. Yeah.
All that stuff. I don't even know where I was
going now because I was like, fuck what was?
I think we should probably just drop the look that everybody's
like, oh God, get off. Come on.
That's what they're doing with their listening right now.
We're doing it like just get off.
You promise to yes. My kids never been able to stay

(33:56):
on a topic this long and his life over Brother.
Come on. These are our topics off camera.
But here's the thing, I love andrespect everybody.
And I don't, I don't give a fuk what your religion is, you know,
I still fuk with you. It's just like the what was it
last episode was like I fuck with gay people.
Yeah that was a. I gotta watch on word things.
Yeah yeah I was like maybe maybewe switch up how we say that?

(34:19):
Yes, somebody's listening to that in a shop with the volume
on he just got like turn around and be like, look, I'm not sure
if he's gay or not. All right.
He said a lot of questionable things but he's not gay.
But the way he's like back because I re-watch the episode
and I was rather tired, the lastone and I'm just like doing the
whole stick around. You said you got a bunch of
sleep too which one the last one?

(34:40):
No that's the Oliver was sick one, he still sick.
Oh his belly is a lot better now.
So he's doing well now and hopefully goes back to school
this week. So we got through that had to go
back to the hospital. He's not the school thing.
No, not at all. But last night he was claiming a
stomach hurt. So hopefully this morning and
everything's good cuz really gethim.

(35:01):
Some kombucha, not know, just just stand up with him at night
and the big thing is, is with children.
Look Here. I'm gonna give you a life.
Hack to any illness that you have.
All right. And this is not saying, hey,
who's looking don't seek treatment?
If you got like, you know, cancer or something, please God
go see a doctor or something. But if you are dealing with like

(35:23):
a sickness or something like that, or you're just feeling
down, when they say, laughter isthe best medicine.
Because also, when I'm sick to, like, I just do my normal
things, I'll still watch funny stuff and, you know, joke around
and stuff like that, because if you sit and dwell on something,
it makes an infinitely worse. Yeah, I found that out from
sitting, in dwelling, I was like, look, everybody fucking
everybody loves doing this shit,all right, I've been doing it

(35:45):
for like three days now. Why why am I doing this?
And as soon as I go back into, just like just trying to be
normal. Just saying, hey, because every
commercial that you see every fucking time they talk about
sick person, they always have the person, like, laying in the
bed and I'll feel like shit and I'll still like me trying to
enjoy my day because then I feelbetter.
I don't want to just sit there and just fucking soak it in just

(36:05):
enhance. The the sickness just steep in
it. Yes.
And Do to Stew in the sickness we would mop 100.
UK, dudes. British dudes, whatever the fuck
you call them. I've Been Watching Ted lasso
when I hadn't washed that, that was a pretty good series was
that good? That's the, that's the soccer
one, right? Yeah, that's football football.

(36:28):
There's some person in the UK watching now, which listen if
you are a UK listener, we would be beat up everybody.
But you because you're the strongest person in the UK
because you're listening to the show.
So, Share to a friend man. Gosh, maybe I want some, we got
some trouble biscuit pie. We either got have UK listeners
or else? People are using a VPN.

(36:48):
So yeah, that's what it is. BPM, rubianes are dope.
Um, we just had to go through I had a big parenting long last
night so I don't know, I think Igave a good enough like pause
right there. So if we have to cut this out,
We can do that. But we had a big parenting mom
last night because I'm laying inbed, tired.
The fucking like I said when he gets up and his stomach hurts,

(37:11):
I'm the one that's up with the moment.
Okay. Which once again based question,
what the fuck do I got to get you another fucking gift if I'm
staying up, but I'm staying up with him or I'm in the bed
because I'm like, look, I got toget some sleep, I'm about to
die. I'm gonna have a heart attack
from staying up like four days with like six hours of sleep.
So I'm on my phone and I get a notification that says you have

(37:33):
been banned for one from one forone day from Roblox.
Like oh man. Let me look at this.
So then it gives you the whole chat log.
I'm not gonna say what he said, it was not, it was not bad.
All right, but I was like fuck that.
Look now I have information. I want to see how his character
is. All right?
So I go in there like hey, but Ido it so funny.

(37:54):
I'm like, hey bud. What's up?
Play a Roblox game? He's all fuck.
Yeah. So he like gets on his phone to
do it, he's like, oh man, I got banned what and I'm like oh
what'd you get banned for? And he says something other than
the thing that he said that he got banned for.
I was like, are you sure you didn't say this?
He's like, what? No.
And I'm like, brother at that point.
I know. I understand he's eight look, so
it. He doesn't understand that if

(38:17):
someone, if you did something and then someone worked for
word, says what you this, what you did.
They are not guessing. They know what you did.
So he's like, what? No, I didn't do that.
So, he had a big listen, like and I told him too, like there's
it's Lying to your parents or lying to somebody that you love.

(38:38):
Because at the end of the day atthe end of the day, like I said,
I love him. Unconditionally that means when
he fucks up there is one motherfuker in this universe.
Do anything that's got your back.
Yeah, through anything that has your back.
That I'm the last person he should lie to so he had that big
parenting moment last night. So that was a I think I think it
was pretty good whenever well hewas hella embarrassed the

(39:00):
because this is like the first like big time.
He's done something. Yeah, so it was a good to kind
of just like, oh yeah, he thought I, you know, I gave I
gave him hell about it was a mean or anything like that but
you know you got a when I want akid books up its This is why you
don't ever want to be. Like, I'm a pretty like, a days

(39:24):
ago, dad. I, you know, I'm making jokes
and stuff like that. I'm pretty fun, but it makes
the, the times when I'm serious more serious.
Like, okay. We've done something.
So, I think last night in the first, really big moment that
I've had where a child's done something like that because
fucking Lithia, I don't know. I don't know if it's like, they
say, ugly people make a beautiful baby.

(39:47):
Yeah, I guess it's like I'm this.
So I just made the perfect thing.
It's just like, all right, Mike,you know, a fat grizzly monster,
who can has the attention span of a fucking monkey with ADHD?
I'm gonna give them this person.So we've never really had to
deal with that. That was the first time dealing
with it. And I think we knocked it out of
the park because I did like I want to I want to write home

(40:08):
that what you did was bad but also want to say, hey, like if
shit goes bad, if something happens, there's only one person
that has your back, the ticket then.
So I have a very similar moment with my daughter at Chick-fil-A
the other day because I went into the play place where she
was playing to ask her to come back out and eat some of her
food because obviously Foods theleast important thing at the

(40:28):
Chick-fil-A playroom. But when I walked in there,
there was a little girl in therethat said, stop pushing me down
the slide and I was like, hey come on out here and she's like
she was blocking the slide. And I was like, yeah well you
know you don't like it when other kids push you down the
slide and I was like, where you pushing her?
She's like no no I was like Babe, like you can, you can do

(40:51):
that thing and you're not in trouble for that thing.
We're gonna talk about it. Like that's gonna like that is a
learning moment, but, like, you lie to me lying.
That's the problem. It's like, I have no problem
with you fucking up or making mistakes, but like, do not tell
me that you didn't do something,especially when I was in here to
hear you doing, right? So, like, just tell me the truth
and we can talk about it and we can learn the lesson from that,

(41:13):
but like the lying, you can actually get in trouble for
that. Like, that's something that is
something that it is a charactermoment.
And I want you to be able to trust me with all information.
If you murder somebody like, yousaid, like you're still the
person and I love you. We'll talk about the murder.
But like, don't lie to me and say that you didn't, you know,

(41:33):
push the kid on the slide, right?
That's that's the part. Where I essentially, that was
the, that was the conversation Ihad with Ollie, Too is like,
look, I understand More than anything video game culture.
We fucking we started this for, yeah.
Like you were just little and they're like oh, the stuff that
they said, well, look, I know brother, I know you're looking
but we're all really good. Listen, that that's one thing

(41:55):
with people who play video gamesor any games at all.
We are really good at making other people feel bad, all right
through through game actions, through insole, all of that
stuff. And I understand because here's
the thing, like so say, Like I told Oliver like you never you
don't ever want to bully somebody.
If you bullied somebody, I wouldbe mad.

(42:16):
I see the chat log. I see what's happening.
So when someone's calling you a name and you call them a name,
like it's not cool to bully somebody for being fat, all
right, if you're getting bulliedby a fat guy, I guess what?
That's what the fuck. The first thing I'm gonna talk
about is How motherfuking heavy you are brother.
That's the first thing I'm goingto.
Yeah. So I was like look man like if
like I don't care about that aspect where you know someone's

(42:39):
like trying to roast you and youroast back don't give a fuk
about I get fuck about the line part.
Yep. Now when it comes to names and
shit don't if if there's just a kid sitting in class and he's
fucking not doing anything and you just go up like and you call
him fat, you're fuking? Yeah.
Like that's when you say angry Dad if you just outwardly just
like bullying something buddy I don't give a fuk if you call
somebody fought like oh that's fat phobic.

(43:01):
Stop being so goddamn family youcan change me being fought over
the bout you like that's that's crazy in a dick and I'll stop
imagine all the other things like the fucking racism and shit
like that shit that they can't like brother.
I'd be black you know like I can't change me.
I'm black and then fucking I gotlike yeah I know man.
It's like how people talk about fat people too.
No. Barbara fat people.

(43:24):
Oh God they want their cake and eat it too.
Like I mean it goes Like to whatyou're saying though.
It's like, you know, if you're if people are hateful to you, no
matter what it is, like if they're hateful to you, just to
be hateful, get them without youdoing anything.
Like, yes, that's a problem. But like if you're being a
hateful person too and in that hate-filled rage, they decide to

(43:48):
make a comment on you being fought.
Like no, you're not protected. Like it's not a protected class
like because you can change thatand like you were being a dik
first. So they just answered back and
called you out. Like, all right.
So I'm going to what he said? Yeah.
All right. So he's getting like picked on
by somebody and he's like, dude,stop and the other guy called
him a nerd. He was like doing something

(44:09):
where he was like, trolling Oliver on the game and he was
like, he's like well at least I'm not, you know fat man
playing this game. Like a he met like a grown up.
He didn't have a word it real well but I was like brother.
That's a good one. Yeah.
That's a good one like yeah cuz then they immediately.
Oh I'm not an adult like I'm notlike they have to get into that.
Once somebody starts defending themselves to like if someone is

(44:31):
bullying you listen And you givethem a real good insult back and
they start like, get. Once somebody starts defending
themselves like, well, it's a, it's a, it's a medical
condition. Like, when I have the little
herpes bump and people are like,oh my God, stop sucking dick if
I'm like, oh I've never seen it once you start defending
yourselves, you've lost? Yeah.
So I was like, you know, so that's pretty good one but if I
it would have been a way different thing if he's just

(44:53):
fucking out there, being a dick head.
Well, and if you cut to the to the quick of their, their
arguments. So like if he were to answer
back with like, oh, sorry, I'm smart like, you know, and it
technically, it doesn't win veryoften.
But like, if you can start making funny yourself before
they not in a situation to be ina bully, that make a funny self

(45:15):
really good when you fuck up. Like, if you do something, that
makes you look bad. That's where the situation asks
for that. But and the face of somebody who
is I just outley a dickhead, youhave to, you have to defend
yourself in those moments because that kind of gives him
the past to keep doing it because I don't know.
Hateful people are hateful people.
Yeah, I'm like if somebody at school Is like talking shit
about you. A the first thing I you know,

(45:37):
I've told Olivia and Oliver. Is that person probably doesn't
have a good home life. Yeah.
Like they go home and, you know,our, you know outside, they have
good mom and dad and mom and dadlove them.
But obviously, once they get back to the house, Mom, Dad,
don't give a fuk, you know, theycare about everything else
except for that kid and they, you know, they're lashing out in
school and stuff like that. So that's why you don't, you
don't pay them. No mind.

(45:57):
But if they touch you break their fucking nose.
Yeah. You grab a textbook and you see
the real hard spine of it, you just crack them right across the
mouth with that and they'll death.
Not only will they not believe the other kids who witness that,
who are thinking, maybe I'd liketo dabble in a little bit of
bouillon. Maybe that'll take my fancy
they're not the game right now. Yeah, they're like well that's

(46:18):
not the first person. I'm honestly you might just wait
them from ever becoming a bully.Well, once once somebody gets
hit in the mouth with the spine of a textbook, it is a great
dissuasion from bullying people but we're going to get some Of
ice. Yeah, we're only on an hour in
so far. Are we an hour in?
Oh, man, did I reset that? I didn't reset.

(46:39):
Oh, you didn't say so there's gonna be like a good chunk where
we don't have Dylan's beautiful face in his and his camera.
Oh if you're gonna be at the NASCAR, All-Star Race though and
you I don't know how the fuck I would meet somebody.
I don't know what the fuck they want me.
They're just gonna be crowds around, like, everybody's gonna,
I hate to show up, and I walk into a room, and there's a bunch
of oily gas in on a cashier Tom's shine, you wanted this,

(47:00):
then you, I'll film you. Like, oh, they don't want to see
me. How much did he was giving out
15 million? They'll give you a free rider on
the track. Now, no free ride around the
tracks, you I want to say this joke but I'm scared like you
know, I'm saying like the speedway and fucking, but I'm
not a huge Nascar fan. I think it comes down to like,

(47:23):
we mentioned this in previous episodes, going to an event is
different like Except for baseball, right?
Yeah, yeah, being there, and like an experienced it and stuff
like that. And once they said, like, VIPs
and meeting people, that's dope.Because once again, I, I'm not a
huge fan of NASCAR. Would I like to meet like a
fucking? And I know, older drivers.

(47:44):
All right, but like a Jeff Gordon or something like phuc.
Yea, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Even today to this date, would
like to meet him. Like that's just the people
that's people who are the best in their fields, that's just a
dope thing. Anyways, well, I went to
Martin's Ville and like, I, I tried watching racing when I was
younger because, like, I grew upand the sticks in New York where
everybody was like a race fan and I just kind of watch it on

(48:05):
TV. But then, as I got to be an
adult and moved down here, like I went to a Martinsville Race
and the race cars go by and you can't breathe and you're like oh
why I enjoyed like the tailgating and all that stuff.
Like once I got into it like there was just some drunk
assholes so it made they experience less fun.
Oh no. Like drunk people in the
ambience for me like Bowman Gray.

(48:26):
I like Bowman Gray, depends on like whether they're being
douchebag. Or they're just being like drunk
ass holes. Like I don't mind drunk assholes
but it's it's when they start like, agitating people around
them that I. Oh yeah.
Where they because? Yeah, everybody likes different.
There's so many race car driverstoo.
Yeah. So there's no you can't divide
stands. You can't be like oh this is the
home stand? No.
No. They're gonna be five different

(48:48):
people around you that like fivedifferent people.
Yeah. And fucking ones in the other
and like if there's just like a couple people that are just shit
like those shit bully people andthey start I'm a fan of mixed
martial arts too. So if they start fighting, I
really enjoy it. Then.
Yeah, there's no fights. I really enjoyed.
Jose Aldo. Got robbed last night.
It was the only thing. I really gave a fuk about the
card anyways. You don't know anything about

(49:10):
USA so we're not gonna get into that.
All right. But I it and then he retired
which I wanted to. I wanted him to retire three
fights ago so him doing it. Now it just out that should have
been like when he. Yeah when he fucking sets his
gloves down, that should have been and it should have been a
win. He won the first two rounds.
He did get beat up a little bit in the third round, he's very

(49:32):
tired. All right.
He's old man, I think he's 38 something that's like ancient.
I mean for fighting it is providing the decline happens at
34 and it's like statistically happens at 34 which makes
Alexander volkanovski winning ofthe Featherweight look.
We see that's all Sam brother. Oh he's just like these are
words and these are people. I watched it years ago, advice

(49:54):
for proposing to a girl. That's a way better person than
me. Dear Mike and Dylan, that's a
love it. Specifically Mike because he's a
shit show like me. I am I am shit.
We run out of time over here forme to propose to a girl that's
straight up out of my league. I've seen both of y'all on
videos on video screen and how you did.

(50:15):
You feel fucking? Look, I fucked all this up.
I've seen both of y'all on videoscreen.
And how did you failures? Convince someone to actually
marry you sincerely yours honestly?
Who cares? Just please tell us about
Charles proposal stories. We all want to know.
All right, so this is not askingfor advice.
I think he just for a story. I think he just called us ugly,
right? He's like, how the fuck did

(50:36):
y'all land? Somebody anybody on our so I'm
telling you, I've kind of talkedabout my name is early
relationship but I started working at a Hardee's and
Thomasville North Carolina and Amy was the general manager
there and while she was doing the interview, I told her that
my told her my birthday and she likes her hands out.

(50:56):
She's like I have the same exactbirthday.
So late. Yeah, and she's pretty so like I
didn't have a car at this time, but it was fucked up.
I told the battery was fucked upon, I don't know what to do.
So uh, my stepmom came and pick me up.
It's like stepmom seven times, right?
I don't fucking I don't know howto define any of these
relationships, but I was like, Mostly with that lady in there.

(51:18):
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.
I told her. Yeah, no, my stepmom.
That's what I'm saying. He told us.
Yeah, yeah. So I started working there and
come to find out. She was with a woman.
So they had just broke up now, everybody that worked at that
Hardee's had a big crush on Amy.And there was one guy who was
like, I just want, man, I gotta figure out like, does she like

(51:40):
dudes also, she was in a nine-year relationship.
That's a long time. Yeah.
That's a long time. That's enough time.
Where you like, I don't know. It's a long time with him.
Normally normally you kind of know what some of them because
they'll be like, yeah, you know,with this girl for six months
before then I dated a douchebag for like four years.
Yeah. And that's just I'm not gonna
get into that again guys. Do we have too many Dark

(52:01):
episodes all ready? But so, It was this guy core.
He was a cook. He was a big, big fat black guy.
He had like pirate earring nice,right?
Yeah. And he was like, I just want to
know if she likes guys. Also, I was like everybody
there. Well, there was one guy there
too. I can't remember his name, but
like a beaver and this guy almost got into a physical

(52:23):
altercation one time. But he look like a beaver and he
was just like he was Head Over Heels.
For I like when he went home at night that was the woman.
He would work those work crushes, right?
Yeah. He just he was, he was
absolutely infatuated with her so I was like, y'all want me to
go ask her? And there was like oh you'll do
that. I was like yeah I'm not afraid
to talk to women but like I'm not you I'm not you bitches.

(52:46):
Like I'll go do it. So I just walked up to her and
she was putting money in the safe and I just was like Hey so
uh is it only women or is there like a gray area?
Because obviously, you're not, like, are you into guys, too?
We got out on a date, right? Well, there's some here that
there's some people here who would like to potentially Court,

(53:07):
you and we were just wondering if it all, is it all only women,
or would you fancy a male? I'm not gonna wear it like that.
That's lame. Well, which the guys be on like,
you know, not want to talk to a girl.
His lame. I wish I could remember the
guy's name, I thought you because, so that happens where I
worded it like that. She thought it was like really
funny. but she didn't answer me and then I was fucking cleaning

(53:32):
the bathroom or something like that and they were like one of
these like crazy old people thathad Fucking they had said, so
many pamphlets in there and I was just like, man, all the
time. You could have spent worshiping
Jesus and you're saying here fucking said, because they set
him up in like these weird card structure ways.
Yeah, and I was like really likeI just made a joke like the time

(53:52):
that it took you to set up this you could have been worshiping
God which you see it too. There's a bunch of people up at
the courthouse that'll be like you know the burn gaze and shit
like that. And I just like to joke around
and be like brother up here on aFriday at 3:00 in the afternoon.
I don't know about you, but you should be out fucking work.
And right now like a man I know God would not appreciate a man

(54:15):
taking fucking time off to standnear her Courthouse.
How about putting some motherfuking work?
I was like, fuck with people. All right, so I did that and She
laughed again, so I was like heyyou want to go out this weekend?
We were gonna go to Johnny and June's which was a bar.
So we're going there and it's meand then my friend.

(54:38):
I'm not gonna name their names but we had two friends along Amy
and what's so funny about that night too.
Is we were drinking. I was drinking Ian J in the
backseat and I told him I'm not a big drinker but I don't want
to be like, you know, it's almost a hands.
Me alcohol. And you're with sorry.
I don't I don't drink a lot. I'm not, I'm not a drinker, but
I'd like to see you get drunk like that's creepy also, too.

(54:59):
So I don't fucking I'll Play along.
So I'm drinking. I'm, you know, it doesn't take a
lot to get me buzzed. And we stopped at this gas
station and I got a piece. So fuking bad.
And I go up and they're like, ohwe don't have a bathroom.
That's the one thing I hate. Like, where do you use the
bathroom then Bud, huh? Really?
Just go piss out in the woods. Like I hate places that are like
no, we ain't got a bathroom, what the fuck do you use?

(55:21):
I understand you don't want people doing heroin in the
bathroom, right? But I legitimately got a pee
well also they don't want people, you know, making a mess
out of everything and every person that's not gonna purchase
anything from their establishment.
And I hate people that ruined ship for other people like oh
excuse me sir man go into your bathroom to shit on the walls.
Why just be a person like just Iam going to write.

(55:43):
I am going to put I'm gonna smear do do all over the handles
up everything in the bathroom for no fucking reason just to do
it. People are weird but so they
didn't have a bathroom and had apee real bad.
So I went to the side of the building to pee and I started
peeing and as I do a cop pulls in the fucking parking lot.
So I had to go ahead and stuff it back in real quick had big

(56:04):
old piece spot on my pants and somehow to this day, She still
married to me. So that's how you got married.
Yeah, that's exactly how I got married.
We got married right there in the parking lot by the cop.
Yeah, with the big old piece spot.
Nice. Nice.
What great wedding photos. Yeah.
Mine was. Mine was a little different.
I think me and Jess had been dating for right at like nine

(56:24):
months or maybe a year and I haddecided that I was gonna marry
her. But since Jess came with a I
think my other daughter's like six years old when I finally got
into her life. I had to ask her for permission
to marry just before I. And so I asked her thinking that

(56:44):
like, I could just go We went toCostco and just had made mention
of like a specific ring and so Iwas like, oh I'll just go pick
up that ring and you know, we'llbe Off to the Races.
Well, we go in and just has likethe tiniest little fingers.
So I was like, do you have this in like a five?
Because I had gotten her to try on a ring to, you know, figure
out what the size was. And I was like, yo, this in a
five, they're like, we only sellsevens.

(57:05):
I was like, could I order a fiveknow?
Like, we only sell sevens and I was like, even online.
Like, I can't get a different size ring.
They're like sevens. And I was like, all right, so I
ended up having since I had toldmy Other daughter, I told her
and I asked her and she was super excited about it.

(57:26):
I had to come up with something.So then I went to TJ, Maxx and
got like costume jewelry, which they only sell.
Sevens. So like it was funny though
because that night she was opening, she was doing her first
like solo show as an artist and so, My plan was I had my

(57:48):
daughter say to just like, hey do you want to marry Dylan and
so in that time, while they weretalking I was gonna get down on
my knee and like proposed to her.
And so I did it. And the funniest thing was, was
when my daughter said that to her, she's like, she's like, I
don't really want to say her name but like so she's like,
Don't ask me that and at that time, I was already on my knee.

(58:12):
So like my wife had gotten upsetwith our daughter, like it was
out a line for her to do it and then it all worked out.
But but it was one of those things where I couldn't take it
back as soon as I decided that Iwas gonna ask her to marry her
because you can't trust a seven year old too keep that secret.
So I have to do it tonight and so yeah she cried and said yeah.
And I didn't get any of the coolvideo or photos of it but it was

(58:37):
I do want to elaborate to peoplethough.
I didn't tell proposal story because me and Amy met and
within a month and a half. She was pregnant and we were
getting married. Yeah.
Like because we came from that title like we were young and
dumb too. So I was fucking 19 at the time
and she had gotten pregnant and this was during the time where
was well I get married. Yeah and then so when I say that

(58:59):
bro the first three years of ourmarriage was a just a absolute
struggle. But that's why I tell people
too. It's not about finding a
soulmate, there's no such thing as like your destined to be with
this person, there's no fucking such thing as that.
It's two people who are willing to put in the work to make a
relationship to make a family, to make two people fucking
connect together. It takes a lot of work, and it

(59:21):
always takes work. And I like, eventually you'll
find a spot where you're just like, we're fucking a team or
something a partnership and its know.
Well, this, you know, it was Destiny and it was like, from
the first moment I saw every single relationship that you see
where it's too fucking old people.
Sitting in a diner, they have had arguments, they have had
times where they didn't think this relationship was going to

(59:42):
work. So I'm old people are different
though because that was like back in the day where it was
like well I'll just beat her until she's ready to fucking a
state marriage forever. Yeah, well, I think that's the
thing is like I I'd had so many relationships that were between
two and five years like just a whole bunch of them through my
20s and I think it was me finally deciding, like, I don't

(01:00:07):
need somebody. And that's what I met.
Jess was like when we were in that stage and she was just
coming out of a marriage. And so we're like, no, we're not
getting married. We're not doing any of this
stuff. And then, so a lot of that
pressure of like, oh, this is the steps you're supposed to
follow was gone. And so, then it allowed us to
just be us. Like, I was fully me, I didn't
like try to sugarcoat things andlike, present as being this like

(01:00:29):
magical guy. I was just like, This is me.
You get it. You you don't like it.
Go ahead and leave, but like, we're not getting married.
We're not doing this stuff but it was actually me becoming okay
with who I was and her becoming who okay with who she was.
We were putting on a facade, right?
And I think that that's the decision is like when you're
just like take me or leave me and then and with you guys like

(01:00:54):
it probably was It's probably hard until you got to that point
where you guys were like this, is it like we're we're together.
And then once you both decide that then things kind of get
better and you still fly, you still have disagreements, you
still, you know, it's never easy.
Yes. But like it's one of those
things where you Like she's yourperson, you're hers and you know

(01:01:16):
as long as you guys keep that, like we're a team.
We're gonna rock together. Even if I don't like you for six
months, like, I still love you and we'll make it through.
We'll figure it out. Oh yeah.
It's like yep. That's how it is brother.
I don't know. One day when I'm rich and I'm 50
years old and then I start dating 18 year old girls.
Like I think that's so nasty, bro.

(01:01:38):
I don't see the appeal. Oh, it's like, How does a
fucking, how does a day transition a child into an
adult? It doesn't, it doesn't, I don't,
I don't, I don't like it, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Asked her Leonardo DiCaprio. I love people too, who like
defend the age of consent. All right.
Who are just like 16 is the age of consent.

(01:01:59):
So what they're doing is not a legal.
Because I know not to fuck with them because they're probably
pedophiles. If you listen, just don't defend
like, that's all you gotta do. It's really, really simple.
Anytime you start defending the age of consent, there's no way.
There's no argument. You could present to me.
All right. That does not make you sound
like when it be one thing if it was like one off.
But like, when you're hunting that ground, like you're all the

(01:02:22):
people that you're looking for are in that.
Really, you're a pedophile. Like you are definitely a
predator. Yes.
It was, it was like a meme or something, where it was like,
the guy was 25. She was 20 and they had a four
year old and everybody's like 16to age consent.
I was like she did not get pregnant and have the same the
baby in the fucking while she was 16 brother.

(01:02:43):
That's now life works. That's not how life Works.
She was 15 when she got pregnantand he would have been what 2021
that's fucking problem. That's a problem that listen A
Ruger, fucking high point, a lotof a lot of gun companies out
there. They do have they have, they
have, they found the cure for that list.
I was, I used to be the guy. I'm not gonna lie, I used to be

(01:03:04):
the guy that was like, well, we got a Polish, the death penalty,
because you can't tell somebody you don't want to, you don't
want to execute an innocent person and yeah, I think you
don't want to, okay? But also you got to get rid of
fucking problems and it's so crazy.
How We we fucking execute peoplewho In the Heat of the Moment.

(01:03:24):
Murdered somebody like a lot of people who fucking like a serial
killer that's not In the Heat ofthe Moment.
Like that was a plan thing. A pedophile that's a plan thing.
But people like if you if you fucking kill somebody like your
fucking sitting there arguing, they did something like, it's an
argument. But I don't know, you know what
I'm saying? That's that's Up For Debate well
and why somebody going to jail for, you know, half their life
for drugs drugs, just the wildest, one in the government's

(01:03:47):
just like, well, you know, somebody hurts a kid and they're
like, oh, you two years later? You're back out on the street.
Like, yeah, two years probation for fucking.
And that's, that's so wild too, man.
And I actually showed Dylan, this, we had a They're not
really in my family. It's just a person we know and
they like to be like we're family from the south.
Okay, everybody's family. All right and he got caught by a

(01:04:14):
task force. Trying to talk to an underage
girl and then don't just like you know, will you?
It's not like he opened the conversation with.
Oh hey, what are you doing? She's like, I'm 15 and she's
like, oh, we just still talk. That's not what happened heard.
His family talks about it like that, I'm like, bro, if my
fucking brother came out to be apedophile.
Hey, He would no longer be around my kids and he's not your

(01:04:37):
brother and oh, yeah, he's not afucking brother.
John. That's the also too, with the
like, when you talk about the unconditional love that you have
for a child, people will always be like, well, what if your son
turned out to be a pedophile? I'd be like, well, what the fuck
did I do? Do wrong as a parent that
fucking didn't catch. Like, you know, I'm saying?
Like what I'm not become like what if he went and shot 19, I'd

(01:04:57):
be like fucking I wonder I sit there and think about my
failures as a parent. Like obviously when your kid
does something tear like when a kid does something terrible,
it's not fully responsibility, right?
It's not fully but they are things.
Absolutely, that should have been caught in childhood that
could have prevented all that shit but nobody wants to talk
about that brother know. They only want to talk about the

(01:05:18):
level. Like I said, With his whole line
thing, I was like the last person you lied to his dad
because that's the person who thinking them all, right?
And I'll help you. Yeah, we were fucking playing
with the gun and accidentally shot my friend killed.
The cops don't care about accidentally brother.
Like he can't, he can't lie likeyou can lie to the court of law,
if that they can get it. I mean he could be completely

(01:05:40):
into something like we said and you could get convicted.
All right. Dad's here like that, tell me
the truth. Like yeah, no.
I was just about everything. All right, we brush it off.
And then if like, if it was like100% in an accident, I'd be one
of those dads like I did it because I'm crazy.
I didn't want my hands. My son hanging out with nobody
but me. I ain't got no friends.
That's what I do man. Especially accident.

(01:06:02):
That's the most tragic shit. I can't you're not use this in
the court of law. And I hate when It's the
funniest shit too, because so, there's been a couple instances
of people that I know where it'stwo friends playing with a gun
and one accidentally shoots the other one.
Yeah, I had a, everybody's had it.
Everybody has a friend that has done that or know somebody that
did that and that's the most unfortunate thing because it's

(01:06:24):
two guys just fucking off. And normally it's two underage,
kids who shouldn't be around a fucking gun?
Who were drinking alcohol? Who shouldn't be drinking
alcohol? And this is all literally, the,
the fall and the wrongdoing of parents, the ineptitude of
parents, not being responsible. That is led to this moment.
And then one kid shoots the other one by accident and it's
now four life. Hey, you know, everybody's like

(01:06:47):
I murdered somebody people can'tgrasp kids fucking up.
They were playing, they can't, they can't grass kids fucking
up, but then also too. You're going to prison for a
long time which does not make fucking sense.
It we had one where I guess theywere like right at 18 to and I'm
just like, man, the the thought of that like you To just fucked

(01:07:08):
up your life. You're going to prison for a
long time because like I said that one day that you go from
kid to man, which is not fuckingreal was not even 18 more, like
it's you could be 14 15 and all the sudden they decide to try
you as an adult so, well, some of some of them kids be crazy,
really listen. And I'm sorry.
You've lived in unfortunate life, like some of these kids,
they went through fucking childhoods that we couldn't

(01:07:31):
imagine going through and then they do something incredibly
wrong and it's like, listen, I feel for you but you gotta lock
them away for away from far awayfrom the general public.
All right, we're going to get tothe next one.
Probably just gonna do the two short ones ends.
We have enjoyed the banter. This is a banter episode, it's a
long Mane. The title says, am I the
assshole, dear, Mike and Dylan. Am I the assshole for thing in

(01:07:53):
this pot is absolutely trash. Do we get a bad review?
I thought we had a bad review the other day, but it turned out
somebody was fucking around and I was like, oh I love the
podcast. Just kidding.
I was happy, man. I was about to say oh we did it.
Finally roasted somebody was like what the fuck did I just
listened to? I wasted an hour of my life to
find out that the guy rambling. There's a normal guy there, that
could stop him, doesn't do it, never just sits there.

(01:08:15):
And honestly as the podcast is going on, he's fucking rubbing
off on them. Look, I can't wear things right?
No, you can't and not. I I give him looks he just
doesn't pick up on him. He's like no, no this is good.
I'm gonna keep going. Yeah, they're in the work one
and Dylan just like, bro. It's like I got a point I'm
going to I need to have a buttonthat just plays the, the rap
music, like The Knot wrap, but like, at the words ceremony is

(01:08:38):
where they just like play the music know, just the music that
starts. Oh, to make it so that the
people can't talk because the music is going to overtake their
talking so they wrap up their like it's it's the Dave
Chappelle episode of like when he's got the little music that
plays so that like wrap it up, wrap it up.
If you don't remember that one, know what season is that?

(01:08:59):
It's the first one. I think first one.
Yeah like where it's like the music that they play at award
ceremonies to get people, to finish up their speeches, to
keep the show rolling on. And so they have music that they
play to just tell people to, like, wrap it up.
I think he's like having sex, and he's like plays the music.
She's like, all right, come on, wrap it up.

(01:09:20):
We're done like brother. Like when you first I was like,
what? They're like a music show know,
like an awards ceremony and the rap music, brother.
What is your not rip w? R is your favorite episode?
I got into the first one. The first one is the greatest
episode of all time. What happens in the first one?
Black white supremacist. Okay.
Yeah, dope. Yeah.

(01:09:41):
Nope. Just so we actually don't like
that episode because progressiveness was no, I love
that. So greatest it's the the most
fun because like he came out with such like a Nobody was
expecting anything. Like I've been watching Dave
Chappelle and, you know, half baked and his stand-ups with the

(01:10:01):
first season. So, great and brother.
It feels like a fever dream. Like I know every bit episode,
but you're like, in the first episode, I'm like, brother.
I have no idea what happened in the first episode.
Drugs are hell of a thing, obviously like if you like I can
name, What happens in every single fucking episode that's
why? When you're like the fucking
one, I was like, what the fuck is he talking about?

(01:10:23):
Yeah, he came out like swinging.I think is the first episode.
I'm pretty sure it is. I don't feel like black white
supremacist is the first episode.
It's in the first season. I know that I know it's in the
first season but I could swear that was the first episode that
they dropped. I can't watch it brother.
I lived in a tent. That's all we can watch for
fucking like two months was the Chappelle show and I'm just

(01:10:44):
like, I don't know. Well, also too.
So on the DVDs, all you get like, you don't have
transitional episodes. So what it does, is it just goes
to like when it's transitioning through bits.
It's just the black guy's playing the piano show and then
they did a longer version of that into the next episode.
So technically this was back like, you know, how DVDs had

(01:11:05):
like the the menu where you can like play pause.
Start it didn't have that. It just played Mine had mine,
have or no? Yeah.
No it didn't play as like one continuous thing.
I think it was like, a couple discs and I don't think you
could pick episode. Yeah, I don't remember.
Yeah, just when you're like first episode, I'm like,
brother, I can't tell you what happens in what?

(01:11:27):
Like, I couldn't differentiate for the longest time when it was
going to a new episode until Dave walked out on stage.
But what they did was they did like a longer version.
And then Dave would walk on the screen like in between the black
guys and say something, if he wasn't doing that and like
transitions between the episodes, it just be those guys.
And that's how my dumbass doesn't go into another episode

(01:11:50):
unless Davis. And but I just pale show, you
know. I don't like, you know, how he
started off. I was like, how can I fucking
tell the difference between the I'm separation of these
episodes. I'm so glad he came back
because, like, after that stopped, I was like, oh man.
Like I said, stop cancel culture, like, cancel culture
was like, oh, we're gonna get rid of Dave, Chappelle, and I
think he, I think he overcame because like, that's one thing

(01:12:14):
is, like, there's still people out there that do stupid shit
that gets, you know, Told that they're not going to be able to
do like not that. Anybody legitimately gets
canceled. But like, he did such a great
job of Not allowing anybody to not being to somebody just
fucking just if you're gonna, ifyou know apologies.
No nothing. Just okay.

(01:12:36):
Oh, you guys are mad about that?Oh, here's this other joke that
I came up with people. I just don't understand why
people can't just be like, oh man, I don't like this.
I just won't watch turn it off, right?
I just won't watch it. Wow, that's great.
There's a fucking card Channel that I will or that I don't
watch like YouTube, like recommend you to another
channel. So like, the autoplay will go
into it. I'm not subscribed to or

(01:12:56):
anything like that but he purposely like mispronounces
some of the Names of cards and stuff like that.
He does that to like generate comments.
I find that to be like an annoying thing.
All right, look. If you do it, I understand
collect your back how you want to, all right?
But you think I'm sitting here like trying to fucking be like,
I should be allowed on YouTube. I'm not just block them, that's
it. Like, people just don't watch
it. Do not show this to me and for
the longest time was like, I know we will, we will destroy

(01:13:17):
your lives. You will not be allowed on
anything else. Like if you're out, sexually
assaulting people, bro. Yeah, you don't deserve a place
in society. Well, but the thing is though is
like who is he? Who was anybody else?
Like everybody should turn on person off.
Like it should just they should just be canceled, simply by
being like Oh yeah, I know that has a ship bag, not watching it.
It shouldn't have to be like this Collective.

(01:13:39):
Like we need to dock them and find out where like that's
right. Like if If someone's just like
generally, not funny and saying like bad shit to say bad shit,
then people don't watch. Don't fuk with them like that.
His his shittyness is non funniness is what cancels them.
Yeah. Fucking and that's what stupid
too is. It's like the what do they call
it? The Streisand Effect where

(01:14:02):
they'll be something so innocuous, and this is what I
mean, just It's so dumb when you're like, I don't like this.
I don't like this to the point where I want everybody to know,
I don't like this. And that this is not okay.
And then, they don't that one and knock you listening that.
Nobody knows about and they blowit up into this big thing that
now everybody. Fucking knows what it is.

(01:14:23):
And everybody like Pete. That's what people don't
understand, man. I'm like they, but it literally.
It's what generates like, fucking social media.
Yes, it's what keeps social media going.
See, if someone will see a post that they don't agree with
their, don't like and they'll goand fucking be like, I know,
they'll fucking give their feet back, they make something that
is a knock us. Otherwise, that's not a big
problem into a big problem and then it becomes something big

(01:14:45):
thing. But we got a fucking finish
this, all right. How far?
How deep are we in? So that's 56 plus 18.
That's 74. Hour and 15 minutes so far.
All right? 74, though, I got that real
quick. Well, people over people are
very interested in us. Not keeping it short, so, oh,

(01:15:08):
yeah, yeah, no. You guys are here until we get
done. All right, you're fuking here
until we get done because we seethe numbers too.
A lot of y'all watch to the end and I'm just like an hour and 30
minutes and that it blows my mind too.
Because I'm like, I could never Sit Dylan knows I watch
something that's 10 minutes on like 2.2 times speed and then he
only watches like part of it until you bored, right?

(01:15:31):
The information. I'm just like I am done with
this. I'll sit down and watch it like
a documentary trying to talk them out of listening to our
podcast. That's it.
I'm saying I don't there are people who like that style of
stuff, I listen to podcasts. So like I I have listened to
many of them I do. Listen to them sped up just
because I like to get the information quicker rather than

(01:15:53):
and I can understand it all. Like once you become so concise
though, with your podcast, like if we started intro into, am I
the assholes? What's the difference between
that and a YouTube? I feel like the banter is, what
makes it a podcast? Like it's two people giving
their thoughts online. I've just found out what a real
podcast is. By the way, guys.
So and like what podcasting is all about all within the time
that you know, me and Dylan havedone a podcast before this, I

(01:16:15):
was just like, you know, it's like two people, it's like an
interview style thing, but it's like people just shooting the
shit and then the listeners, listen to it and fucking they
feel like they're part of this. Well, not talk to him.
Like, they're like, fucking right here.
I feel like people think of thisas like, listen to friends, talk
rather than, you know, trying togain any information or like

(01:16:35):
hear a murder story. They're just like, yeah, my
buddy Mike and they're, they're out there.
Talking and I just listened to their conversation.
So I don't know why the random ass shit makes me think of
stuff. Okay.
All right, but I like went to like scratch my back on here,
Dylan had an idea to do. What does that camera called
that spins around the marble or but yeah.
So he wanted to do like an orbitthat would go around us and give

(01:16:57):
like that view as it goes around.
And I'm like, Dylan, I don't know if Dylan is this but when I
did this with my back I could I could feel my whole ass cracks
out and I was like so it would go around and people would get
that shot. Like I don't know how often we
would show that because I nobodywants to watch podcast where
it's completely that. So just be kind of like cliffed
in. Yeah, and just like everything
like right every 25 minutes, we just give him a shot of butt

(01:17:18):
cracks at one point because we post this on all the podcasting
places and on YouTube, you just like, listening us.
This is almost porn his whole asses out like it's like how was
that butt crack? We gotta finish this person's
thing. All right, here we go mic.
I've watched all the pods and followed you for years now.
Just wanted to let you know thatyou were doing great.

(01:17:39):
Excited to learn about y'all hoodlums growing up.
Mike Dillon. And Carson hate drama.
Is there now. Come on down.
Just yeah. Come on.
Okay yeah just come on down. Really come ate some drama.
We do need to get a guest maybe when we go to the All-Star Race.
Yeah, we gotta figure out the third person situation, but
we'll I'm down for it. If you do that, I mean, we

(01:18:00):
obviously bring him in to give advice.
Like, I'm not gonna be the person that sits down and talks
about some kind of confound thing with some, you know, I'm
not Joe Rogan. Well, I'm not gonna be able to
sit down with the fucking Scientologist and be like, learn
about what the fuck they know about it, right?
Yeah, I can't fucking do that. And I'm not professional enough
to keep it professional. Essentially.

(01:18:21):
Word, Joe can sit there, and listen, obviously, I have, you
know, that I have to make, we could do, like, I could sit down
and interview them and then You could like, do the Andy Kaufman
thing and just show up as Tony, and be like, he's worth a
motherfuking thing since Dale, seniors been gone, ain't nobody
raced right? Oh man, So that I would like to

(01:18:46):
meet Dylan hurt because his dad has a statue in Kannapolis.
So right up the road, I'm not seeing the statue yet.
By the way, my wife used to livein Kannapolis, and I've been to
Kannapolis many a times. And every time I'm like, fuck, I
need to go see the statue, Dale,Earnhardt, for any kid that grew
up in the South. He was like a fucking.
He was a as close as you can getto like deity level without

(01:19:07):
fearing that your God will Smiteyou for like him that much.
He was, he was that dude. And when he died, I swear to God
every day, do you remember that?I know where I was.
I I don't remember like not whatI heard about just like not 11.
That's how big it was. Especially in North Carolina.
Well, see that's the thing is like, I think and I'm, I'm not

(01:19:27):
trying to be, you know, say thatit's only white people that
watch it. But like, where I grew up in New
York, it was only white people. And every single person.
The craziest thing was some of those people that just gonna
race race to sleep. Sometimes, it's okay to be
racist. I'm just gonna race asleep.
Assume the, the black audience for NASCAR is not a big thing,
but the, the crazy-ass thing waswe had people up there that

(01:19:49):
Sounded like they were from the south even though they never
really spent any like they listened to country music enough
that they just talk like this and I'm like, what are your
deal? Like you literally have lived up
in Western New York for your whole entire life and you sound
like you're from Georgia? Like, no, that's not how that
works. But um, yeah, like so everybody
up there had Dale, Earnhardt stuff and, you know, NASCAR they

(01:20:11):
had bumpers they had they had tires like he was very loved.
Yeah, he was very loved. But yeah, you didn't have to
like, skip around the whole that.
Listen, I grew up in the hood like I grew up in High Point
North Carolina. And it's a good mix of white
people in black people. Okay.
So a lot of the times, you know,When your parents do drugs and
you're like going from place to place, they're not the best
places. So you're you're in like the

(01:20:33):
poorer parts of town and unfortunately black people are
in that those parts do not like unfortunately you have to be
around black people. Yeah.
That I had elaborate on that one, but that's what I'm saying
is that, you know, black people are personally for black people
for black people. You are also in the poor parts,
that's what I'm saying. Geez, get out of this.

(01:20:53):
I forgot we get it the magic of editing but unfortunately, four
black people there in the four parts too.
So growing up with them, not a singular and counter of just
like, oh, fucking love NASCAR. So I'm just gonna say
anecdotally, I know a lot of black people, so when I worked
the not a senior like not that it's just not even one.
Like if I had one that I could like, okay, maybe I can like to

(01:21:15):
do. So I'm there are obviously black
NASCAR fans when I worked at themattress.
Ticking Factory out in Stokesdale.
There were like honestly the most country like and redneck
style people were Like some black guys, man, have you the
panther they drafted him last year?

(01:21:36):
And I mean, late, all I did like, he only raccoon and stuff
like that. Like, he's very, very country,
right? But I'm I'm saying, when I'm
saying, though, maybe just not alot, it's not, it's not, it's
not a big, there's not a big ratio going on, right?
Yeah, I could say, from what do they call it standard deviation
and all right, terms there, right?

(01:21:58):
Yeah, that I could, I could extrapolate that from knowing a
good amount of black people and not a singular one brought up a
senior learn, NASCAR driver where like if you when I lived
in Denton and it's all like theywould just be like, a Jimmy
Johnson is the best and I'm like, brother on who Jim Johnson
is. I know, Jeff Gordon is because
my stepdad always, accuses him being gay.

(01:22:20):
Yes, he's gay, man. So I don't know, apparently,
he's great at driving a car though, but he's gay.
He's like, gay. Don't like the goats, bro, but
so many people in my family would just be like well, you
know, Jeff Gordon's gay. I don't know where they got that
from. But they fucking ran, especially
back in the day, man. Someone they just made up shit
about you and just that's what you believe, forever.

(01:22:40):
Well, and say gay as like it's like a bad thing like they
thought Jeff Gordon went home tohis husband like he I know but
like Okay, if he does, yes Rainbow on it.
No. Oh, I don't know if I've told
this that my stepdad his father was in the Ku Klux Klan.

(01:23:02):
Mmm. And that was when we moved down
there, there was there was a smattering of them guys down
there. So yeah, they didn't like black
people didn't like gay people. So, yeah, that was a big thing.
What was good though? And you turned out all right.
Yeah. What's what's good though?
Is that I did grow up around black people that's a good thing
because honestly the whole time they're talking shit about black

(01:23:24):
people. Like there was this one instance
where you ain't told me he was like yeah black people, smoke
crack, something you smoke crack.
Like what are you talking about?Corey on 1000 times.
He has never busted out a crack pipe.
Not a singular time. You do it before dinner, right?
I'm trying to eat and you're like, I got to go spend money on
drugs. Look at you mean.
So that was a really good camerabalance to that.

(01:23:45):
I do think if You know, I grew up in like, Denton with just
them and then all you hear is stories and you can't fucking
formulate. No opinions of your own.
Yeah, you don't actually, this will be right for podcast.
All right, this would be way different podcast, but I, I like
the story that you told me aboutthe, the grandmother.
Can you just go a little bit into that?

(01:24:06):
Like, because you were talking about this, exact same scenario
of like, you know, he was talking shit about black people,
and all this other stuff. But you'd go over to your
friend's house and like he had agrandmother that you had
mentioned a word that you shouldn't say friends.
Let you say it, but yeah, yeah. So listen look what we got.
Like, put people on the spot. Well, I just think it's a, it's

(01:24:27):
a very good. Like this is Mike lure that I
think determined how you came out and set up being that way.
You, you came out the other sidenow.
Miss Paula Deen, like what we gotta get out with this is all
getting cut out. Okay.
Yeah people don't fuk with that.Yeah, we got that out.
Okay. Yeah.
That's the Paula Deen stuff. You know I'm saying?
She's like yeah, I don't know. I didn't she were a child.
Yeah, I was a little kid. Like, I mean, and you learned

(01:24:49):
the lesson and like, my point isis this person that actually the
sweetest way possible? Like, they want mean about it or
anything? I was a little kid look, got a
calm, the fuk down on your friends.
Let you say it right? Like your friends because they
were saying it and and so you used to saying it with them like

(01:25:09):
I said, like a majority of that's what people just don't
fucking get man. Like because they're not around,
they think of like the projects and Hood like it's only black
people, there's black people, there's white people like I
never met young fucking you know, black people it's poor
people, whether they were in, you know, whatever gang town
city, whatever the fuck you wantto think they still have white

(01:25:29):
friends, Hispanic friends, like everybody, like fucking hangs
around each other, and a lot of the times, especially when our
friends, they were cool, they didn't give up.
All right? And then like, I've all been
since the Paula Deen thing. Listen, I'm telling you okay,
not leaving in fuck. It's already in here but she
didn't tell me in a real like ina very sweet way.
She was like you know that was aword that was started to you

(01:25:51):
know mean Harmon people and thatthey took that word back to use
it as good. So when they use it, it's like
it's like them like power back from people who are taking power
away from them when I use it. It's a different story.
All right. I was like, eight.
I was like eight. All right, I wasn't Paula Deen
telling people on the kitchen tobut yeah, send it to him.
I fuck know. I didn't do that.

(01:26:12):
All right. I was eight.
Yeah. And like I mean you were a kid
like so kids people gonna see megoing.
I was eight and then they're going to scroll down and blank.
Wow racist. Podcaster talks about the time
when he kept saying that word know, I just think it's such a
powerful story because like I never heard about the way guys.
All right. I had friends that they're like,
well, it doesn't mean black people and I was like, no, it

(01:26:33):
does like you like they used to be like It just means ignorant
person. No, it does not just not what I
mean his brother that's not that's not what it means.
Only like white people can be a 2010.
You're just coming up with your own definition and like you're
just making stuff up. Yeah and and like that's my
whole thing is like you can do better and that's the reason why

(01:26:56):
I wanted to tell it because likehad that Woman taking a
different tact with it. You might not have learned like
when you're coming from. Fucking racism.
Like they were absolutely. I could say, unequivocally.
Like, they could fucking word itto anybody else, how they want
to look. They were racist, like they
fucking racist. Super did not like didn't

(01:27:18):
fucking that. They would say the most vile
shit like that, you could fucking, you could hear about a
group of people. So take it from that.
And that's something that's an environment you're growing up
in. All right.
And then you know, I say the word and then she comes up to me
fucking oh brighten me. Maybe she fucking puts hands on

(01:27:38):
me or something like that. Well then everything that they
said growing up I just like was validated in my mind.
Yeah. So that is like a big like
that's a fucking that's a crazy thing that when I don't know,
and that's what people get so far away from now is, is that
special politically? Look up dark episode, right now,
we're in Dark Souls and it is about the political scene, too.

(01:28:01):
Look, it's two sides that don't get along.
So each side, the only way they,they know what to do is to spit
them to the other side, which then fucking validates what the
other side thinks about them. Just creates a divide and all it
takes is a little bit of love, or An alien threat.
I'm telling you, you can't go wrong with an alien threat, but

(01:28:22):
I think this is a good wrap-up point for the last episode of
Mike and Dillon hate the last episode.
Yeah, I'll cancel man a letter. That's what I'm saying.
Let's uh Mike right. And they know my first and last
name from earlier and those people will find you.
And now when I mean, well what I'm saying about those people, I
didn't people that like dogs people, they're like Michael

(01:28:44):
fucked up like six times on this.
No, I think this is the genuine like I don't.
This is genuine banter. I also people know that I'm
Hamming. It up.
I don't I was eight years old. Nobody gives a fuck.
Yeah. Nobody's gonna.
I mean there are there are people that do exist that with
that will hear that in eight year old say that it was like
you deserve to die. I'm just proud of the the

(01:29:05):
grandmother or mother that took that moment to teach you.
Like you like I mean going back to, you know, Ollie getting
bullied on the game and everything like that.
Like it's it's one of those moments where like how you react
to that moment changes. How that moment impacts that,
you know, what's so funny too? Is that she specifically never
probably even thought about thattoo.

(01:29:26):
She just a fucking nice lady. Yeah, she didn't know, she
didn't know in that moment, they're like, hey, just step.
Dad is a racist. His father's like was in the
KKK. They're fucking really into that
shit. They really into it and that in
this moment the what could have divided defined him growing up
was never think about things like that.
And that's why I just thought itwas a powerful story too,

(01:29:48):
because like it's one of the moments that we've talked about
and, you know, like sweating andshows like oh, Not that one.
What did Paula Deen do I kinda remember?
I mean, and that's because she saying, an interview that she
all she did was say it. Or was he calling people it?
I don't know because I never said hard are okay.

(01:30:10):
I used it in a brotherly fashion.
Yeah. Solidarity as a child.
That's not a hero child. Yeah, right well that's another
thing. And like I'm not saying that
it's ever okay, but like if you learn and you grow like that's
the key. And in those moments, I grew, I
did not learn. Well, you learned not to say
that. So you learned a little bit as a

(01:30:31):
fat dumb joke. I was pretty good.
I agree. I did not learn.
Yeah, we got to do the we get, that's how we get Clips, man.
That's how we get people to fucking share this in the Reds
and stuff and fucking on social media is when I say a joke, you
just laugh, like it's the funniest thing you've ever
heard. Have you ever heard me just
laugh? Like, it's 2:00 in the morning?
You know, one of those last where you can't fucking, that's

(01:30:52):
how a, I know that's podcasters,are fake that do that, that
fucking laugh. Because when I do it, It's not
even funny. It's scary.
Like, it's like someone can't breathe and I'm just like
sitting down. We got to do that though man.
I said that's how podcast work. That's not ours, not ours.

(01:31:12):
Dylan, how are we going to fucking get to the, get to the
big time Lori land? I'll tell you.
There's one way to get to the big time cheat code.
I gotta find a way to get on JoeRogan.
I gotta do it. I still like our method of
using. If you don't share this podcast,
you love the devil. That's right.
Yes, so guys share the podcast with somebody, like share it to

(01:31:33):
a friend and need that wants to laugh.
Probably wouldn't share it to somebody who's like real I don't
know. Driven on on canceling people
though. Yeah, don't.
Yeah, don't do that. Eight years old.
There's no skis. Like, everybody's just holier
than now, too. I can't stand that shit.
I would have never done that. Just fuck you would have.

(01:31:56):
Everybody has fucked up in theirlife.
Listen, and that's why a lot of those people that were like, ah,
we need to cancel people. They would have shit coming out
of and then, you know, the people underneath would eat
them. Well, they would get to the top
and then they would have something come out of him.
And there's this, there's this fucking crazy thing, okay?
That nobody gets okay, people are not perfect.

(01:32:16):
There's no such thing as a perfect human being everybody
has a mistakes. Are there some mistakes that
should warrant you losing if youhave fame or something like
that? Losing.
Yeah. After hurting other people if
you're going out yes, anything that hurts physically hurts
takes away, the Innocence from absolutely something that
fucking affects somebody. Saying a joke brother, even if

(01:32:40):
humor is humor, humor is where we go to escape.
You know. Reality reality is tough.
Tough thing to live in. It sucks like reality is based
around we live and we die. That's a tough thing to wrap
your head around. Comedy is humor and comedy or
the escape to that. It's a it's a place where you
can say terrible things, that isa like a mirror image of our

(01:33:03):
world. To poke fun at it.
And anytime somebody does that they don't have to, you know,
I'm saying. Like I have a heard terrible
attempt at it. Yeah.
Yeah. Where I was like, really?
I don't, I don't want to go say,hey, don't say that.
But I want to be like, we, maybelike I just like the head first
into it. I'm just like, ah, he didn't.

(01:33:24):
I told many people that they're jokes, aren't funny, because
they were just terrible jokes. They were not even a joke.
It was just, you know, some sortof discrimination of something.
And somebody tells you about thefirst day I worked at The Box
Shop, I worked at and the assistant came up and he was
like, he said, some kind of he was like, what's the difference
between a black person and something else?
And then it's like something terrible.
Yeah. All black jokes go.

(01:33:44):
And I was, I just looked at him and I was like, yep, my wife's
black and my daughter's mixed. They are both white, by the way,
why does? But you put someone back
position right? So but it it's a good it's once
again. One of those good learning
experiences of why the fuck would you say here right now?
Why do you feel Right, right. What do I give off that makes

(01:34:06):
you like, oh man, fuck. Yeah, because it was the first
day. Maybe we had had a Smiggle of
smitten of conversation in between there before he was just
like, yep, I can just fucking doit right here and I was just
like I said that and he was like, oh my gosh, I'm a fucking,
would you, bro? And he was just like, oh yeah.
Like it became a funny moment, but there are the I wouldn't go

(01:34:29):
that far once you're like, I don't know.
Being hateful. There's some there's some
comments who have they can they can thread it really, really
well like get to the point whereyou feel, it's not okay, like
you're scared. He's like Daniel, Tosh his one
where it was like, look the slavery is wrong, but It wasn't

(01:34:49):
impressive, they are fucking more athletically gifted than
us. That's so the fact that wife
people pulled that off, that wasa damn told that was a great way
to do it. Poking fun at like, white people
being like, Not a strong and everything.
Thanks like the other, you know,Universe of that.
Where is just like oh yeah. And he was like, I have because

(01:35:13):
at first, he was like his part of the bit.
Can I tell my check a half-ass believe I'm, can I tell my four
year? Old's, favorite joke?
Yeah. Why didn't the toilet paper
cross the road? Why, because it got stuck in a
crack. Listen, I love a good dad joke
that has a plan and I've alreadyheard that.
Was the only reason I wasn't just sitting here laughing.
I should have gave you guys the.Well, he got it told by a four

(01:35:35):
year old, so it was that much better.
But I was adorable too. Yeah.
Four year olds, man. They get such a fucking pass on
Comedy, like they say a bad jokeand you still have to laugh.
Yeah. And they're adorable doing it.
So, it makes it funnier me. I tell a joke. people are just
like, Brother, my mom just died.All right guys, we're gonna wrap
it. This has been a long podcast.

(01:35:56):
This is being. This is kind of the, I guess
we've gave him giving them the mirror image of last podcast
where we were more concise down to the point did the stories.
Now, they get the polar oppositeof that.
So if they do fuk with it, we'llbe able to see.
Yeah, we're able to see all on the on the analytic analytics.
Oh yes, we don't see. Is you sending it to your
friends? Okay.
He said unto, you know, it's my dream one day to be just like

(01:36:18):
just to see it randomly while I'm on Reddit and just oh man,
somebody like that for the through my hole through my whole
content creation journey. I was like, wow, I just one time
I like to see my name pop up just in a comment just like so
just offhand you read and like afucking post that has nothing to
do with it. And then you see somebody there
because I've you fucking commented, those plenty of times
about like either a celebrity ora fucking content creator.

(01:36:40):
Just one time just something about wow man.
Michael told me about this. I've been searching to see if
anybody's said anything and I haven't seen know anything at
recommendation. They don't love us man.
Like I said we're a guilty pleasure.
Yeah, we're like wrestling at the age of 30. but I listen, I
know a lot of WWE people Dylan will tell you to, I know,

(01:37:01):
possibly, Everything about wrestling to a point where we
was like, oh, we should make like a wrestling Channel just
because I I fixed they don't thinks a lot of and it's autism.
All right. Look, I don't something's wrong
with me. I think they don't think he's I
do not watch wrestling at all. But you keep up with that.
I know every fucking thing that's happened, ever happened.

(01:37:22):
I just watched videos on it, too, and I like to watch a lot
of history stuff. So, I grew up during the whole
fucking WWF NW times Monday night Wars.
So I watched the documentary on that and I was like, oh, I would
like to learn more about this and then I learned every like,
fucking Golden Era stuff fuckingpre-golden era, fucking new
stuff. I special people with that now

(01:37:43):
because it's like the content creators.
I watched giving me the old stuff, then they come out with a
new thing. And I'm like, I'm gonna watch
that too. So, They're just one of the ones
I just turn on, and I'm just like, oh, wow.
That happened. Crazy crazy.
But I'll talk to somebody. They believe you watch
wrestling. I'm on.
No, but, I mean, you know that Igot damn.

(01:38:04):
I was like, fuck. Yeah, man.
I just, I don't know. Did you watch last night's know?
I'm waiting for the YouTube to come out?
Bye! I'll get the breakdown and the
clip notes of what happened three of them.
That'll give me a fucking prettygood breakdown of everything
that happens. So, I think kind of like once in
kind of like a podcast format. So I watched podcast.
If they're on YouTube, I just have to have the video version

(01:38:25):
of it so I could watch how much we have which we have on
Spotify, too. So we do have the video version
on Spotify. But yeah, guys, coming down,
let's watch, you know, and we will see you next time later.

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Why The World Needs an ALIEN INVASION - Mother's Day Confessions | MADHD Ep10 |

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Why The World Needs an ALIEN INVASION - Mother's Day Confessions | MADHD Ep10 |