January 27, 2025 • 34 mins
What happens when a couple's love story finds itself at the crossroads of marriage and entrepreneurship? Join me as I sit down with Kyle and Ariel Tresch, the inspiring duo behind a thriving digital marketing business, who share their fascinating journey from being newlyweds to feeling like mere roommates. They faced the daunting task of reigniting their relationship while scaling their business, ultimately creating Couplepreneurs—a mentorship company dedicated to helping entrepreneurial couples achieve harmony in their personal and professional lives.
Ever wondered about the true essence of leadership and masculinity within marriage, especially through the lens of Christian culture? Kyle and Ariel challenge traditional notions and delve into nurturing leadership styles that emphasize collaboration and mutual support in relationships. By drawing on biblical teachings and personal experiences, they unpack the complexities of gender roles and cultural expectations, setting the stage for a fresh understanding that empowers both partners to thrive as equals.
In this enlightening episode, we also navigate the intricate landscape of religious interpretations and their impact on marital support. Discover the transformative power of genuine connection as Kyle and Ariel recount their journey through high-control religious environments and the pivotal decisions that strengthened their bond. Celebrate the synergy of marriage and business as we explore how respecting and appreciating each other's strengths can propel couples to unprecedented success, both at home and in their ventures.
Connect with Kyle and Ariel:
https://www.instagram.com/couplepreneurs/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/couplepreneurscommunity
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hey, I'm Lemon.
I am just like you, sisterfriend.
Talk about stepping into thatoverflow that God has for us by
becoming those ultimate Proverbs31 women.
Hey, I'm Lemon.
I am just like you, sisterfriend.
I knew God had something morein store for me, but I couldn't
see a way out of the laundrypiles and, frankly, I resented
that Proverbs 31 woman.
How was I going to live up tothe hype?
(00:39):
That is until I found out howto really step into becoming
this Proverbs 31 woman throughleadership development.
In this podcast you're going tofind financial freedom,
leadership, growth andmotivation so you'll be able to
do all the things God has calledyou to do with ease and really
step into that land of milk andhoney.
Welcome back to the Milk andHoney podcast.
(01:00):
I'm your host, lemon Price, andtoday I'm actually really
excited because I have myfriends, friends Kyle and Ariel,
with me.
They are the super cute husbandand wife digital marketing team
.
They have this thrivingbusiness.
They've built a lot of themover the last 11 years.
They help companies scale theirteam.
They've done help teams toincrease their revenue by
millions of dollars, which isamazing.
(01:20):
But then, working together,they found themselves in this
really dark, sad place andnobody wants to be there in your
relationship.
The stress of business took atoll on their relationship and
so obviously they're still here.
They're still married, and sonow they're the founders of a
mentorship company calledCouplepreneurs, where they help
other entrepreneurial coupleswith some proven strategies to
grow your business withoutgrowing apart in the process.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So thank you for being here, friends, awesome, so
good to be here.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you so much.
It's an honor to be here andwe're excited for this
conversation.
I think we're going to betalking about some things that
maybe other people haven't heardbefore.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Oh my gosh.
So, guys, we were talkingbefore we recorded and just
found out we have so much incommon and our thought process
is the same, and I know wheretheir weird little town is,
which nobody ever knows.
So like we're meant to befriends, and so I would love to
hear.
I know where that's at.
We're instant besties and Ilove it.
I would love to hear like alittle bit more of like your
story.
Did you guys always want to beentrepreneurs as a unit?
(02:15):
How did that come about?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yeah, yeah, so it all started for us with what we
call the anti-honeymoon stage.
When a couple gets married,they go through what they call
the honeymoon phase.
Right, we had the completeopposite.
We've been together now forover 12 years, prior to getting
married.
We both came from pretty humblebeginnings.
We grew up in a small town inOhio.
Both of us were business owners.
While we were together, kyle hada digital marketing consulting
(02:38):
business and I owned a doggrooming salon, but then I went
on to have an organic marketingcoaching business and, by the
blessing of both of ourbusinesses, we were able to
actually self-fund our dreamwedding in the Bahamas.
We moved to sunny South Floridaand, because we were both very
entrepreneurial, we thought thisis great.
We get along so well.
We have a shared language.
Things are only going to getbetter from here.
(02:58):
But what happened is, aftergetting married, we actually
jumped back into running ourbusinesses, both dove back into
working and we really spent mostof our time in our separate
offices, and we went fromfeeling like this very romantic
newlywed couple to now feelingmore like roommates and business
partners.
And it was interesting becausewe started experiencing some
(03:19):
issues that nobody else wastalking about and that we hadn't
experienced up until that point.
How do you stop talking aboutwork when you're both working
all the time?
How do you and your partneralign on where you want to go
and what your future looks like?
How do you give feedback toyour partner when you're working
together and you're bothentrepreneurial, without one
person feeling criticized?
How do you actually keepgrowing the business where it
(03:40):
doesn't feel like it's coming atthe expense of your
relationship or your health oryour lifestyle and all the other
things that you want in lifeand, honestly, for us, as our
busyness increased, we startedto see our intimacy decrease.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And our income actually flatlined at this point
.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, and a lot of entrepreneur couples.
They run into this too, whereall of a sudden their business
is capped, but their schedule isalso capped, yep, and their
intimacy is capped too.
And, like Ariel said, there wasreally nowhere else we could
turn to.
There weren't podcasts aboutthis at the time or YouTube
videos, and we just had tofigure it out on our own.
And I remember it actuallycreated a power struggle between
us, if I could be very honest,because at the time, we felt so
(04:18):
divided in where we wanted to goand we felt a lot of
competition between us and Ithought the solution as the
quote unquote man of the housewas to just have Ariel become my
assistant.
So, instead of her running herown business, I was like Ariel,
why don't you just come workwith me?
We're growing businesses andwe're helping companies make
tens of millions of dollars.
And every time we would havethat conversation, things would
only get worse and there was alot more resistance and I
(04:45):
remember I was like, okay, sonow what?
We don't want to sacrifice ourbusiness for our marriage.
We don't want to sacrifice ourmarriage for our business, but
what other option is there?
So the day that changedeverything for us was really a
day where, honestly, I got in aguest room of our house, got on
my hands and knees and I prayedout to God and I was just asking
God, please show us the pathforward, because what we're
currently doing clearly is notworking to get us to the next
(05:07):
level.
And I remember I got out ofthat room and, right when I was
done praying, I looked on socialmedia.
I got my phone out, I looked onsocial media, which is usually
the last place you want to lookwhen you're looking for
solutions to life problems.
But in this particular case, Isaw a live video that Ariel was
doing for her organic marketingcoaching business, and all of
(05:28):
the comments underneath her livevideo were from women all over
the world telling her thank youfor showing up and sharing what
you know and for whatever reason, in that moment, something
changed in my mind, somethingclicked and I ran out of the
room after Ariel was done withher live video and I found her
and I'm like Ariel, I get it.
Now I do not want to take thelight that God gave you, the
(05:52):
wisdom that God gave you, andput that under the bushel, so to
speak, of you just being myassistant.
So in that moment we made abrand new commitment to change
the way that we operated in ourlife and we asked ourselves how
can we both get what we want andtake our individual passions
and point them towards a unifiedpurpose?
And for that reason, once wehad this new sense of aliveness
(06:15):
of what it could potentiallylook like to have the things
that we both want and to both beentrepreneurial but still be
aligned as a couple, that'swhere things started to change.
We started putting in some newtechniques, some new strategies,
some new approaches to life andbusiness, and what was so crazy
is, after months and months oftrial and error, we started to
see things shift.
We went from feeling likedisjointed in our schedule to
(06:36):
feeling like in control of ourschedule and actually having
time for both our relationshipand our business.
We went from feeling not veryclear on where we were going to
feeling so aligned and sounified that every decision we
made as a couple allowed us tosee a path forward to where we
wanted to go without us havingto sacrifice what we
individually care about in theprocess.
(06:56):
And on top of that, we actuallyenjoyed more intimacy with each
other because we were going ondate nights.
We were having a lot of fun andwe did some things that nobody
else was talking about in orderto actually increase the spark
and the fire in our relationshipthat was burned out at that
point.
And what was so crazy is, as wewere working on these things,
not only did our intimacyincrease, but our revenue and
(07:17):
our businesses went through theroof.
My business 3X in revenue.
Ariel went from having a fewclients to having 25 new clients
in the span of a couple monthsand all of a sudden, we're like
wait a second.
I think we found out somethingpretty cool here, which is, if
you can unify your visions, yourgoals and your strategy and
your roles with your partner,you can start to see not just
(07:40):
more intimacy, but also moreincome in the process.
So since then, lemon, you knowhow, when you go on a date night
and you don't post about it, itdidn't really happen.
That's how we felt too.
So what would happen was is,when we were figuring this out
for ourselves in the earlystages of our marriage, we would
post date night videos andphotos of us just having fun
going to dinner, and we wouldhave people that would reach out
(08:00):
to us and they would ask us howin the world do you guys do
this?
How do you make this work whereyou actually like each other
and you both are successful inbusiness and it's working?
How do you not want to killeach other all the time?
People would ask us thesequestions and we're like you
know what.
Maybe the next phase of our lifethat God is leading us to is to
equip other entrepreneurcouples with the same skills and
(08:22):
strategies that we learned.
So that's what we started doing.
We started a mentorship companycalled Couplepreneurs and just
within a span of a couple monthsit absolutely exploded, and
today we have the opportunity tocoach entrepreneur couples
literally from all over theworld who are making anywhere
from $50,000 a month to $100,000a month to $300,000 a month in
our programs, but are doing sowithout having to sacrifice
(08:44):
their relationship in theprocess.
Thinking back to ouranti-honeymoon phase, we didn't
see it clearly then what God'splan was for us, but now we see
very clearly like this was hispurpose all along.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, oh, my gosh.
Okay, I'm obsessed with you twoand there's so many things that
I want to talk about just fromwhat the two of you said.
First of all, since you guyscannot see them, the way they
look at each other when they'retalking about each other is the
most like sweetest thing I'veever seen, and it makes me like
a little emotional, and I hope Iknow you too.
You celebrate it right.
Like you guys are celebratingeach other, and that's something
, kyle, I really love andappreciated about you because my
(09:17):
husband just had thisrealization too, about me and
business, the way you did aboutAriel.
Oh wow, I don't want to hidethis light that you've been
given.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I started something new two and a half years ago and
my husband was like he's theone who encouraged me to do it.
But then he was like I alsodon't get it.
But I know, this is where Godwants you.
But also I'm very confused.
And he took a biblicalleadership class and like week
one he's like I don't think Ibelong here.
Week two he was like, oh, I'mstarting to get it.
by week six he was like no, nowI really understand what you've
(09:47):
been doing and then I found outI just spoke at a conference and
the owners of the companyactually texted my husband a
zoom link so he could watch mespeak at the conference.
And I didn't know.
They like told me afterwardsit's like a very intimate thing,
but they made.
I said something to my husbandand Glenn's watching on Zoom and
I was like oh no.
But I came off of stage and Ihad a million texts from him and
(10:07):
he was like I really get itLike.
I see the way people respond andhe's I could never take that
from you, that is God given.
So yes, I would love to know,Kyle, specifically like how
because I hear this a lot frompeople that they're like
stressed about working withtheir spouse.
Like how because I hear this alot from people that they're
like stressed about working withtheir spouse, but like when I
(10:27):
talk to men, they're likeworried that having this very
strong, like entrepreneurialwife emasculates them yes.
I would love your perspectiveon that.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Thank, you so much for asking this.
This is we are very passionateabout this is a subject that is
very near and dear to our hearts, especially because it did
cause a lot of pain in thatearly stage, because I thought
that, as the quote-unquote man,especially in a lot of pain in
that early stage, because Ithought that, as the quote
unquote man, especially in a lotof Christian circles out there,
it is to basically assume thatmy wife, as my helper, so to
speak, is supposed to only helpin these predefined roles that
(10:55):
maybe society has created.
It's actually more societalthan it is biblical to just say,
like they, that a woman mustfulfill the role of only being
staying at the house, only beingtaking care of the kids, of
only being staying at the house,only being taking care of the
kids, only being, like this,nurturer, and not allowing to be
stepping into what, honestly,god gave her to shine From a
biblical perspective.
We all know the story of theProverbs 31 woman who is, of
(11:17):
course, taking care of the home,but she's also taking care of
business.
There's no way anybody canrefute that.
No, theologian, even thoughthey want to try to, they can't
refute the reality of it.
So, as somebody who wants tolive as much of a biblically
accurate life as I could as aman, I actually discovered that
feeling like I need to be.
(11:37):
How do I say this as a man?
If I feel like I need to proveto Ariel that I'm the leader by
subduing her gifts, that isactually not true masculinity to
me at all.
It's not even leadership, ifyou think about the best leaders
of our time, like leader A isthe type of person that might
try to lord their authority overother people and subdue their
(12:00):
gifts in order to make sure thateveryone knows that they're a
leader.
Example B of a leader is aperson who looks at their team,
recognizes the giftedness ofeach individual and creates an
environment that fosters thosetalents and uplifts those
talents to the highest level andmaximizes their individual
potential.
Which leader do you think is abetter?
Quote unquote leader A orleader B?
(12:20):
Most likely, we're going to sayleader B, right?
So even as a leader that I feellike I'm called to be, my job
as a leader is to look foreverybody in my life what did
God give them, what gifts dothey have, what talents do they
have, and how can I use mystrength not to subdue them but
to actually lift them up?
So I can go on and on aboutthis.
If you want, we can continuedown that, but that's the
(12:42):
philosophy that I took.
And even in the Bible you lookat some of the most incredible
men of God.
They had amazing, powerfulwomen beside them.
If you look at the story ofAdam and Eve, it was when God
looked at Adam.
It was the first time he saidthis is not good.
Everything else is good, butAdam being by himself, he said
no, this is not good, I need tobring a helper suitable.
And what happened was theytended the garden together, they
(13:06):
worked together, they co-ruledtogether and I actually believe
that a true biblical approach toleadership and working with
your spouse.
It's not a situation where oneperson is like this
authoritarian dictator and theother person is subservient.
It's a situation where you'reboth co-ruling together in your
area of giftedness.
That's the way that I look atit and for me.
(13:26):
I have encountered with Ariel.
When I try to compete with herstrength in order to show her
that I'm a leader.
I've come to learn that isactually my own insecurity, my
own weakness, that I'm trying toposture over her.
The reality is that truestrength and true masculinity
recognizes the gift in yourpartner and does what they can
to lift up those gifts to morepeople oh my gosh, okay, I'm
(13:50):
obsessed with you too.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
There's like people.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I need to introduce you to because, I'm obsessed
with you too.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I love this because I didn't grow up in the church
and so then I joined like a veryhigh control church when I
first joined that where womenhave no role outside of yeah and
children.
And so they were like.
I actually remember one timethey prayed over me that my
business would be a failure sothat a good, worthy husband
would actually marry me.
(14:16):
It's very weird.
Like we could do a wholeepisode on that.
But I'm so curious becauseyou're like I had to like, look
at rake.
Sorry, ariel, I feel like I'mlike cutting you out.
This is no, I love thisconversation.
So I just hearing you sayinitially I wanted to subdue,
initially as the man, this iswhat I want to do.
Do you feel like you both havea little not like deconstruction
(14:36):
, because I hate that word, butdid you like challenge your
theology to where you are now?
What was that process?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Absolutely.
I can start with this.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'll share my perspective first.
And then I want you to bring inyours.
From my perspective, this was alittle challenging for me
because, like you said, I didn'tgrow up in the church either.
Like I went to church, but itwas like twice a year on
Christmas and Easter.
So that was my initialperspective and I remember when
Kyle and I first got together,he always had a pretty strong
Christian faith and so, from myperspective, I was a business
owner when we were together andI always was leading in a lot of
(15:08):
regard of my life.
And so when I was with him, Iremember thinking like I don't
know if he wants to actually bewith me, because I don't think
he wants, like a woman like me,and so that was like the very
beginning.
As our relationship grew,obviously we were together, we
got married, but I also hit apoint too where I think he was
questioning his own theology inthis regard and I started to
(15:29):
also question like, am I wrongfor making him want to support
me?
And so there was thatinteresting divide there where
we both had to grow in differentarenas.
So that was my side, but whatwere you going through at?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
the moment.
Yeah, to just tag on to that,If you go to a lot of Christian
or church oriented leadershipconferences not all of them, but
some of them will justbasically paint a picture that
like exactly lemon what youshared, which is like the man
should lead, but lead in thesepredefined ways that we as a
culture and society have labeledit to be appropriate, and I
(16:00):
think that's where the problembecomes.
So when I was exploring this, Iwas trying to hold two tensions
, which is number one, I want tolive a biblically accurate life
.
And number two, the Christianchurch and culture sometimes
paints a picture that I think isactually opposed to the
biblically accurate life.
So if we're searching for asource of truth objectively to
(16:21):
hold our lives to, what I'vepersonally found is that I
deconstructed my view ofChristian culture.
The Christian culture assumesall of these extra biblical
labels that they will just putonto people and say if you want
to be a Christian, this is howyou are to be, this is how you
are to dress, this is how youare to act, this is how you are
to interact with each other ashusband and wife, and some of
(16:44):
those things are just, I think,not only not in scripture, but
they're antithetical and theycan be taken to the level of
abuse.
So obviously I'm speaking inthe abstract.
But, to be very literal, we'veseen so many Christian whether
they were marriage counselors orevents say things a good woman
will submit to you in everythingand this is what you need to do
and this is what a godly womanneeds to look like.
(17:04):
When I read scripture, that'snot what I see at all.
You see so many examples ofamazing, powerful women who have
stepped up in times of crisis.
Obviously, there's the story ofDeborah, but if you look at
even Esther, or if you look atAbigail, King David is a hero of
the faith, but Abigail kind ofstopped him from doing some
stupid stuff and wiping out anentire town.
And I even look at Ariel,sometimes like she's my Abigail,
(17:26):
because when I'm about to dosomething stupid she'll stop me.
And if you look at Barack, ifyou look at gosh, even in the
New Testament you have exampleslike Lydia.
You have examples of just theseamazing women.
Or even what is the name of thecouple that you would be?
Anyway, there's a couple too.
I forgot their name.
That rhymes.
I forgot the name of it rightnow, but anyway, all that is to
(17:47):
say, I don't.
I think the short answer is Ihad to deconstruct the Christian
culture, not the Bible, becausein the Bible itself, women are
powerful.
They are used by God to expresstheir gifts in amazing ways,
and even as a man, as a leader,it is my job to lift that up,
not to put it down.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Okay, I love you guys .
I'm so glad actually foranybody listening and I love
that.
You said you didn't deconstructthe Bible but deconstructed the
culture.
Yeah, that's what I think I'mseeing like a bigger shift on is
the deconstruction of Christianculture and labels that don't
actually exist, and thislegalistic viewpoint that we
(18:24):
have of men and women and thosepredefined roles and I know this
is not the conversation that wenecessarily plan to have, guys,
but obviously this is where Godwanted us to go and I just love
that you guys are so bold aboutit too.
I think we need more boldcouples.
I think especially like we needmore bold men in this arena.
Because I think that, like forAriel and I, like we can say
(18:46):
like we have gifts and we arecalled to do these things, and
you get labeled some like realnasty things for doing that.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Ariel, has that been your experience?
Yeah, I'll even say we put outsome content around this topic
and it did very well meaning.
I think it's a very polarizingtopic that people are interested
in and of course, we got somesupport.
But we also got a lot of hate,and I will say a lot of it was
actually more geared towardsKyle.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
I would get hate too, but it was more in regards of
how Kyle could be with somebodylike me.
It was how he is weak for thatand he is this, so actually a
lot of the hatred was towardshim, right, and so it's very
interesting.
That is how we judge thestandard of a good man is by
like the type of woman that theyare with and whether that falls
into a preconceived box that alot of people have in their own
(19:32):
mind.
So it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yeah, did you feel any pressure though?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah, I did in the beginning.
Like I said, in the earlystages I felt like maybe I'm not
the woman for Kyle, maybe I'mnot the person that he wants.
When I would go to church andwould experience, sometimes,
those boxes that I felt like Ihad to fit in, it just made me
question again.
It made me question my faith,but it also made me question
whether I should be with Kyleand if I was wrong in that
(20:00):
regard.
I think as time went on, Ithink you and I were growing in
this on two different sides ofthe equation around the same
time, and so by the time, kylewas like in your own words I
don't want to put words in yourmouth, but recognizing that me
being a strong woman didn'tnegate his own strength or his
own masculinity, I started toalso step into no, I think I can
be this way as long as I'm nottearing Kyle down, which is
(20:20):
never the point again, is neverthe point of strength.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, and I think that's really the crux of this
is how people define strength.
Does strength have to mean thatmy wife is weak?
No, strength can mean thatwe're both strong.
And does strength necessarilyjust mean masculine Also?
No, yes, you can be strong andmasculine, but you can also be
strong and feminine.
So this is just an example ofhow the culture defines the word
strong and then mass labels itto a gender, and that is an
(20:44):
example of like.
It's not inside of the Bible atall, because by the definition
of strength if you look at it asstrength of character or
strength of virtue, strength ofhonesty, strength of talent,
there are so many examples ofamazing women in the Bible who
embody that strength.
So if people say that Arielneeds to be more feminine and
less strong, those are peoplethat are using the world's
definitions, not the Bible's.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Okay, I love this.
As you're saying this, I'm likethat is literally what the
Pharisees did.
They missed the point.
They had their own definitionof who the Messiah is and how
he's supposed to show up andwhat these prophecies mean, and
they missed the point completely.
And so you miss out on thegreatest blessing ever to come
to the earth because you missedthe point.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Because of ego.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh, this is so cool.
I love this topic, so let's,yeah, we're down for it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yep, oh, this is so good, love this topic.
So let's, yeah, we're down forit.
I love it because it's superinteresting.
Like I know my husband, we wentthrough something like really
similar right.
So I was in very high controlgroup.
They like I remember the groupthat I was in, like when I
miscarried.
They were like it's because Goddoesn't want you to have babies
because you run a business, andI was like that's really gross.
We left there, we're in theBible Belt and I'm in rural
Georgia.
So the church that we went toafter that was similar.
(21:55):
I went to school to get mymaster's in apologetics and
theology because I was like Idon't know enough, like I'm such
a nerd.
I'm like I want to learn thatcommunity is also very high
control and legalistic.
I love all of my apologistfriends, but if you don't
interpret scripture the way youdo, like you're a heretic and
you're down to the castle, whichis also really interesting, I'm
like I think I just left onefor the other, and so I was
(22:17):
having a conversation with ourpastor and he because they
wanted me to take over women'sministry, because they were like
this is like you're the onlyfemale in church who has an
advanced degree in this space,like I think you should do it.
And my pastor looked at me.
The women asked me to do it.
My pastor looked at me and hewas like I hate when women want
to go deeper with their theology.
They don't know what it means.
(22:37):
They don't need community likethis, they don't need leadership
like this.
And he's like there's nothingmy congregation can learn from
you because you're a woman.
And my husband immediately andit was interesting because he
was in this legalistic space too, where he was like like I have
to exude masculinity in thiscapacity.
The minute I called him, he waslike absolutely not he was like
we're out.
He's like you can't.
(22:58):
He's like how can you look atmy wife and discredit her
absolutely?
you got a good one there yeah,big fan, he's a camper yeah, I
would say so I like him and it'sfunny because I tell him this
all the time too like I feellike it's not enough to just be
like I, I love you, like I tellthem all the time I like you,
like I genuinely like you, andyou guys said this in the
beginning.
You guys have date nights and Ithink it's important like we
(23:22):
full belly laugh with each otheron a regular basis.
Like I think it's importantthat we actually enjoy each
other.
Can you guys have said this too?
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I've talked to a lot of people who are like I can't
imagine spending that much timewith my spouse.
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
One thing I'll say too I lovethat you said you don't just
love your husband, you like himtoo.
We say that all the time.
It's there's a difference.
Right, you can love out of justlike commitment, but you also
have to like the person thatyou're, and I would agree.
I think Kyle is my best friendand we have a great time
together both in work andoutside of work.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah, and it's anybody listening.
If you don't just love butactually like your spouse, it
also allows you to stand headsand shoulders above other
marriages these days, becausewhen we all ask ourselves, how
many marriages in our life canwe think of where the husband
and wife are happy?
Sometimes it's hard to find anexample of one, and I think that
for us, it really comes down toone thing and we talked about
(24:16):
this together which is we havesuch a respect and admiration
for each other as individualsthat it just pours into
everything that we do.
So when we think aboutbalancing work life and romance
life, for example, when we areworking in business, I recognize
that there are gifts that Arielbrings to the table that I do
(24:36):
not bring at all.
Like, business requires us tobe creative.
It requires us to be logical,it requires us to be aesthetic,
but it also requires us to beefficient.
It requires us to be accurate.
It also requires us to movequickly, and all of these
different dichotomies exist.
They all help us growbusinesses, but usually in a
couplepreneur relationship wherehusbands and wives are growing
(24:57):
businesses together.
God didn't give the same exactset of skills and gifts in each
person.
He actually gives complimentarygifts in each person.
So in the business world, thereason why we're able to like
each other is because I tellAriel this all the time.
When we're meeting and we'restrategizing about where we're
going to take our marketing nextor who we're going to hire next
(25:17):
, and we're strategizing aboutwhere we're going to take our
marketing next or who we'regoing to hire next.
When we have discussions, Ilove that we approach almost
every single topic from acompletely different lens,
because it allows us to make themost objective business
decision possible.
And when you make objectivebusiness decisions, that is what
impacts the growth of yourbusiness and also your revenue
and your profits.
On the relationship side so likewhen we are switching from
(25:38):
working all day into maybe goingon a date night I love the fact
that my wife looks as beautifulas she does.
I love the fact that she iswhen she looks at me, she looks
at me not just as a businesspartner.
She looks at me as, like aromantic partner that she's
interested in, and we purposelyput certain triggers and certain
(25:58):
transitions and routines in ourlives to maintain both of that,
both of those differentdynamics and our respect for
each other in the work life aswell as the romance life.
So I would just say that's whatwe've done.
You can look at your partner asalmost like a Christmas gift,
and what I mean by that is whenyou receive a gift in Christmas,
you could do one or two things.
You could either, if someonehands you a present and it's
(26:19):
wrapped in a bow, you couldchoose to just take that gift
and put it aside and forgetabout it.
Or you could choose to unwrapthat gift and see what's inside.
When you have a partner thathas a different perspective and
complimentary skillset of youand you ignore it, it's like
receiving a gift at Christmasand just putting it in the room
and forgetting about it.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
But if you hang it out of the room.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
You don't belong here , yeah exactly, but if you
receive that gift and you openit up and the amazing blessing
that's on the inside of it, thatessentially represents your
partner's different perspective,their different working style,
their different approach and, ofcourse, the different ways in
which they complement yourvision of what you want to
accomplish in life.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah, when you bring those things together, it
creates like one superhuman,essentially.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Exactly that's what the Bible says right.
When you get married you're oneflesh Exactly, and I love that.
You said they're complimentary.
I talk to my husband about thisall the time.
I'm like if Eve was made fromthe rib then like she brings
complimentary skills and it's sofunny.
My husband and I we found Allof our skills are complimented.
He is a blue collar guy, helike he worked with me for a
little bit and he's like I wantto get out and touch things
(27:19):
again, so he's like a two fingertyper.
But he's so smart in all theseother areas and there's things
even in our marriage I hate.
He doesn't want to manage thefinances where I'm actually
obsessed with math, or like whenwe had to get when we moved, he
was like I cannot handle thepacking, like that gives me
anxiety and I was like perfect,because I don't want to pick
things up and put them down.
And he's like I can do that joband so we're.
(27:46):
Everything we do is socomplimentary to each other and
I think it makes it easier whenyou can look at your partner and
have so much respect for themand the way that God created
them.
I think it brings a differentdynamic to your relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Oh, thank you.
And what's really cool, too, iswhat we found is that it's also
a superpower in business.
Yeah, like they.
There's actually studies thathave been done that says that
couples who are runningbusinesses together have a
higher likelihood of keeping thebusiness open and thriving
after multiple years, andthere's a lot of reasons for
that.
And what's so cool is we'veseen it in our own life and it's
(28:15):
also proved by physics.
There's this study that happenedwhere they showed that one
draft horse can pull about 8,000pounds of weight on their own,
and you would think that if youhave two draft horses that they
would pull double the weight.
Right?
So instead of 8,000 pounds, itwould be 16,000 pounds.
But what they found is thatwhen you have two draft horses
that are pulling in the samedirection, they can actually
(28:40):
pull three times the weight ofjust one.
So we can see this compoundingnature in physics in the world
that God created, and what Arieland I have discovered, not just
with ourselves but with thetons of clients that we've
helped, is that there is acompounding advantage that you
have working together with yourspouse, where you can actually
accomplish three times, if notmore, than just the average
solopreneur out there.
So that's what we found, andit's pretty remarkable to see
(29:02):
even in the Bible when it saystwo are better than one.
There's a reason why it saysthat we are meant to be
complimentary to each other, andthe things that we accomplish
together are exponentiallyhigher than what we can
accomplish apart.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
I love that and I love when things in the natural
just prove the spiritual.
It gets me so excited.
I would love it If anybody'slistening.
Some final advice you wouldhave for people who are trying
to work with their spouse orresources.
You want to point them to oranything like that.
Feel free to put them all in.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Yeah, I'll start and then I'll pass it to you.
So I think the most importantkind of actually piggybacking
off of what Kyle just said ishaving a unified vision, because
as a couple, whether you're inbusiness together or not, or
separately, you are creating avision for your life, for your
family and together.
A lot of the times what we seeis couples fall into one of two
camps.
The first camp is either theyhave no vision, meaning they're
(29:54):
just like going through themotions every day, getting
through life, and that's reallyit or they have division, and we
say division because theetymology of the word die means
two, and then vision is two, sotwo visions.
And when you have two visions,what you find is that's when
people actually do grow apart.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, because two visions equals division.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Exactly so when you have two visions, people
actually grow apart, whereas, ifyou guys can look at, here are
individual visions.
Where is the overlap and howcan we bring those two things
together into something that'sunified?
So we're pulling and heading inthe same direction.
That's where we see a lot ofthe success.
So one of the things that we dowith couples that we work with
is we help them define, like,what are the values that they
(30:34):
both have individually and thenwhere do those values overlap?
So when you can look at, thatmeans that you're defining what
are the values that you wantyour life to stand for, versus
just starting with what house doyou want to live in, what type
of car do you want to drive.
So we start with the values andthen we go into okay, what is
the lifestyle that not onlydemonstrates those values to the
world?
What's the lifestyle that youwant to live?
(30:55):
What's the lifestyle that youfeel called to live?
Where do you want to live?
What does your house look like?
How much free time do you have?
How much are you working?
What size is your team If youhave a business?
All of these different things.
And then the last kind of pieceof this is we ask couples to
then go okay, what is actuallyrequired to fund that vision, to
fund that dream, especiallywhen we're working with business
owners, it's okay, what is therevenue amount?
(31:17):
That gives you the take homethat you need to fund the vision
.
And so we break it down thatway because it allows people to
create a unified vision versustrying to pull in two different
directions.
That would be the first thingthat I would say.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yeah, and the easiest way to apply that for anyone
listening is to just pick a timethroughout the week to go on
what we call a vision date.
A vision date is a time whereyou just get together and you
ask those questions what are ourindividual and shared values,
what lifestyle do we want tolive and what's the monetary
amount that is required to makethat lifestyle a reality?
Once you figure out whateverthe monetary amount is, you just
(31:48):
take that number, you multiplyit by three and that gives you
your revenue goal.
And then, once you have thatrevenue goal, that dictates
everything else you do inbusiness.
So that's why Ariel startedwith.
That is because everythingstarts with the vision and then
you work backwards because youwant to create a business that
gives you the lifestyle that youwant, not the other way around.
So what we do with couples is wehelp them define their vision
number one, their goals, numbertwo, which is the measurable
(32:10):
milestones to accomplish thatvision, and then number three
strategy to make that a reality,because there are so many
different marketing strategiesand business growth strategies
out there.
But the superpower thatentrepreneur couples have is
when they combine how theyspecifically work as a couple
with what works objectively inthe marketplace, and when you
can find that intersectionbetween your shared gifts and
talents, the lifestyle that youwant, and you pair a strategy
(32:32):
that's customized for thatspecific growth.
That is when you're able to seerapid expansion.
This is why this is really oursecret weapon when we work with
entrepreneur couples, they'rebreaking revenue records every
single month without feelingstressed that the business is
straining their relationship,because, while they're having
more money in their business andmore money in their bank
account than ever before,they're simultaneously growing
(32:54):
together and prioritizing therelationship in the process.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I love this and I love you too.
There's so many people I wantto connect you with because I
just think that you two aredoing something really special
and I just I deeply appreciateit.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
So guys.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Please go, connect to them.
I will link to all of theirsocials to in the show notes for
you, but please go next withthem.
I just thank you guys for beinghere and just being so honest
to about where you guys havebeen and just things you've
walked through and thedeconstruction process and all
this.
I just really appreciate thecandor because I just threw that
on you.
So just thank you.
Thank you both so much forbeing here.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Thank you so much for having us and asking great
questions, and if anyone wantsto connect with us, they could
just follow us at Couplepreneurson Instagram.
Shoot us a message, let us knowthat Lemon sent you and we'll
hook you up with a free resourcethat you can use as well.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
You guys are the best .
So until next time, friend.
Hey friend, what a joy it hasbeen to share today's journey
with you.
If you found a spark ofinspiration or a nugget of
wisdom that resonated, would youbless someone else by sharing
this episode with them?
It could be the encouragementthey need to step into their
purpose and calling.
Also, if you could spare amoment to leave a review, it
(34:05):
would mean the world to me.
I really appreciate yourfeedback and it really helps our
community grow.
Remember, the road todiscovering God's call for you
isn't one you have to walk alone.
So join me again next Mondayfor another episode where we'll
continue to explore the depthsof leadership and the heights of
our heavenly calling.
Until then, no-transcript.
Hey, I'm Lemon.
I am just like you, sisterfriend.
Talk about stepping into thatoverflow that God has for us by
becoming those ultimate Proverbs31 women.
Hey, I'm Lemon.
I am just like you, sisterfriend.
I knew God had something morein store for me, but I couldn't
see a way out of the laundrypiles and, frankly, I resented
that Proverbs 31 woman.
How was I going to live up tothe hype?
(00:39):
That is until I found out howto really step into becoming
this Proverbs 31 woman throughleadership development.
In this podcast you're going tofind financial freedom,
leadership, growth andmotivation so you'll be able to
do all the things God has calledyou to do with ease and really
step into that land of milk andhoney.
Welcome back to the Milk andHoney podcast.
(01:00):
I'm your host, lemon Price, andtoday I'm actually really
excited because I have myfriends, friends Kyle and Ariel,
with me.
They are the super cute husbandand wife digital marketing team
.
They have this thrivingbusiness.
They've built a lot of themover the last 11 years.
They help companies scale theirteam.
They've done help teams toincrease their revenue by
millions of dollars, which isamazing.
(01:20):
But then, working together,they found themselves in this
really dark, sad place andnobody wants to be there in your
relationship.
The stress of business took atoll on their relationship and
so obviously they're still here.
They're still married, and sonow they're the founders of a
mentorship company calledCouplepreneurs, where they help
other entrepreneurial coupleswith some proven strategies to
grow your business withoutgrowing apart in the process.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So thank you for being here, friends, awesome, so
good to be here.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you so much.
It's an honor to be here andwe're excited for this
conversation.
I think we're going to betalking about some things that
maybe other people haven't heardbefore.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Oh my gosh.
So, guys, we were talkingbefore we recorded and just
found out we have so much incommon and our thought process
is the same, and I know wheretheir weird little town is,
which nobody ever knows.
So like we're meant to befriends, and so I would love to
hear.
I know where that's at.
We're instant besties and Ilove it.
I would love to hear like alittle bit more of like your
story.
Did you guys always want to beentrepreneurs as a unit?
(02:15):
How did that come about?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Yeah, yeah, so it all started for us with what we
call the anti-honeymoon stage.
When a couple gets married,they go through what they call
the honeymoon phase.
Right, we had the completeopposite.
We've been together now forover 12 years, prior to getting
married.
We both came from pretty humblebeginnings.
We grew up in a small town inOhio.
Both of us were business owners.
While we were together, kyle hada digital marketing consulting
(02:38):
business and I owned a doggrooming salon, but then I went
on to have an organic marketingcoaching business and, by the
blessing of both of ourbusinesses, we were able to
actually self-fund our dreamwedding in the Bahamas.
We moved to sunny South Floridaand, because we were both very
entrepreneurial, we thought thisis great.
We get along so well.
We have a shared language.
Things are only going to getbetter from here.
(02:58):
But what happened is, aftergetting married, we actually
jumped back into running ourbusinesses, both dove back into
working and we really spent mostof our time in our separate
offices, and we went fromfeeling like this very romantic
newlywed couple to now feelingmore like roommates and business
partners.
And it was interesting becausewe started experiencing some
(03:19):
issues that nobody else wastalking about and that we hadn't
experienced up until that point.
How do you stop talking aboutwork when you're both working
all the time?
How do you and your partneralign on where you want to go
and what your future looks like?
How do you give feedback toyour partner when you're working
together and you're bothentrepreneurial, without one
person feeling criticized?
How do you actually keepgrowing the business where it
(03:40):
doesn't feel like it's coming atthe expense of your
relationship or your health oryour lifestyle and all the other
things that you want in lifeand, honestly, for us, as our
busyness increased, we startedto see our intimacy decrease.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
And our income actually flatlined at this point
.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, and a lot of entrepreneur couples.
They run into this too, whereall of a sudden their business
is capped, but their schedule isalso capped, yep, and their
intimacy is capped too.
And, like Ariel said, there wasreally nowhere else we could
turn to.
There weren't podcasts aboutthis at the time or YouTube
videos, and we just had tofigure it out on our own.
And I remember it actuallycreated a power struggle between
us, if I could be very honest,because at the time, we felt so
(04:18):
divided in where we wanted to goand we felt a lot of
competition between us and Ithought the solution as the
quote unquote man of the housewas to just have Ariel become my
assistant.
So, instead of her running herown business, I was like Ariel,
why don't you just come workwith me?
We're growing businesses andwe're helping companies make
tens of millions of dollars.
And every time we would havethat conversation, things would
only get worse and there was alot more resistance and I
(04:45):
remember I was like, okay, sonow what?
We don't want to sacrifice ourbusiness for our marriage.
We don't want to sacrifice ourmarriage for our business, but
what other option is there?
So the day that changedeverything for us was really a
day where, honestly, I got in aguest room of our house, got on
my hands and knees and I prayedout to God and I was just asking
God, please show us the pathforward, because what we're
currently doing clearly is notworking to get us to the next
(05:07):
level.
And I remember I got out ofthat room and, right when I was
done praying, I looked on socialmedia.
I got my phone out, I looked onsocial media, which is usually
the last place you want to lookwhen you're looking for
solutions to life problems.
But in this particular case, Isaw a live video that Ariel was
doing for her organic marketingcoaching business, and all of
(05:28):
the comments underneath her livevideo were from women all over
the world telling her thank youfor showing up and sharing what
you know and for whatever reason, in that moment, something
changed in my mind, somethingclicked and I ran out of the
room after Ariel was done withher live video and I found her
and I'm like Ariel, I get it.
Now I do not want to take thelight that God gave you, the
(05:52):
wisdom that God gave you, andput that under the bushel, so to
speak, of you just being myassistant.
So in that moment we made abrand new commitment to change
the way that we operated in ourlife and we asked ourselves how
can we both get what we want andtake our individual passions
and point them towards a unifiedpurpose?
And for that reason, once wehad this new sense of aliveness
(06:15):
of what it could potentiallylook like to have the things
that we both want and to both beentrepreneurial but still be
aligned as a couple, that'swhere things started to change.
We started putting in some newtechniques, some new strategies,
some new approaches to life andbusiness, and what was so crazy
is, after months and months oftrial and error, we started to
see things shift.
We went from feeling likedisjointed in our schedule to
(06:36):
feeling like in control of ourschedule and actually having
time for both our relationshipand our business.
We went from feeling not veryclear on where we were going to
feeling so aligned and sounified that every decision we
made as a couple allowed us tosee a path forward to where we
wanted to go without us havingto sacrifice what we
individually care about in theprocess.
(06:56):
And on top of that, we actuallyenjoyed more intimacy with each
other because we were going ondate nights.
We were having a lot of fun andwe did some things that nobody
else was talking about in orderto actually increase the spark
and the fire in our relationshipthat was burned out at that
point.
And what was so crazy is, as wewere working on these things,
not only did our intimacyincrease, but our revenue and
(07:17):
our businesses went through theroof.
My business 3X in revenue.
Ariel went from having a fewclients to having 25 new clients
in the span of a couple monthsand all of a sudden, we're like
wait a second.
I think we found out somethingpretty cool here, which is, if
you can unify your visions, yourgoals and your strategy and
your roles with your partner,you can start to see not just
(07:40):
more intimacy, but also moreincome in the process.
So since then, lemon, you knowhow, when you go on a date night
and you don't post about it, itdidn't really happen.
That's how we felt too.
So what would happen was is,when we were figuring this out
for ourselves in the earlystages of our marriage, we would
post date night videos andphotos of us just having fun
going to dinner, and we wouldhave people that would reach out
(08:00):
to us and they would ask us howin the world do you guys do
this?
How do you make this work whereyou actually like each other
and you both are successful inbusiness and it's working?
How do you not want to killeach other all the time?
People would ask us thesequestions and we're like you
know what.
Maybe the next phase of our lifethat God is leading us to is to
equip other entrepreneurcouples with the same skills and
(08:22):
strategies that we learned.
So that's what we started doing.
We started a mentorship companycalled Couplepreneurs and just
within a span of a couple monthsit absolutely exploded, and
today we have the opportunity tocoach entrepreneur couples
literally from all over theworld who are making anywhere
from $50,000 a month to $100,000a month to $300,000 a month in
our programs, but are doing sowithout having to sacrifice
(08:44):
their relationship in theprocess.
Thinking back to ouranti-honeymoon phase, we didn't
see it clearly then what God'splan was for us, but now we see
very clearly like this was hispurpose all along.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah, oh, my gosh.
Okay, I'm obsessed with you twoand there's so many things that
I want to talk about just fromwhat the two of you said.
First of all, since you guyscannot see them, the way they
look at each other when they'retalking about each other is the
most like sweetest thing I'veever seen, and it makes me like
a little emotional, and I hope Iknow you too.
You celebrate it right.
Like you guys are celebratingeach other, and that's something
, kyle, I really love andappreciated about you because my
(09:17):
husband just had thisrealization too, about me and
business, the way you did aboutAriel.
Oh wow, I don't want to hidethis light that you've been
given.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I started something new two and a half years ago and
my husband was like he's theone who encouraged me to do it.
But then he was like I alsodon't get it.
But I know, this is where Godwants you.
But also I'm very confused.
And he took a biblicalleadership class and like week
one he's like I don't think Ibelong here.
Week two he was like, oh, I'mstarting to get it.
by week six he was like no, nowI really understand what you've
(09:47):
been doing and then I found outI just spoke at a conference and
the owners of the companyactually texted my husband a
zoom link so he could watch mespeak at the conference.
And I didn't know.
They like told me afterwardsit's like a very intimate thing,
but they made.
I said something to my husbandand Glenn's watching on Zoom and
I was like oh no.
But I came off of stage and Ihad a million texts from him and
(10:07):
he was like I really get itLike.
I see the way people respond andhe's I could never take that
from you, that is God given.
So yes, I would love to know,Kyle, specifically like how
because I hear this a lot frompeople that they're like
stressed about working withtheir spouse.
Like how because I hear this alot from people that they're
like stressed about working withtheir spouse, but like when I
(10:27):
talk to men, they're likeworried that having this very
strong, like entrepreneurialwife emasculates them yes.
I would love your perspectiveon that.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Thank, you so much for asking this.
This is we are very passionateabout this is a subject that is
very near and dear to our hearts, especially because it did
cause a lot of pain in thatearly stage, because I thought
that, as the quote-unquote man,especially in a lot of pain in
that early stage, because Ithought that, as the quote
unquote man, especially in a lotof Christian circles out there,
it is to basically assume thatmy wife, as my helper, so to
speak, is supposed to only helpin these predefined roles that
(10:55):
maybe society has created.
It's actually more societalthan it is biblical to just say,
like they, that a woman mustfulfill the role of only being
staying at the house, only beingtaking care of the kids, of
only being staying at the house,only being taking care of the
kids, only being, like this,nurturer, and not allowing to be
stepping into what, honestly,god gave her to shine From a
biblical perspective.
We all know the story of theProverbs 31 woman who is, of
(11:17):
course, taking care of the home,but she's also taking care of
business.
There's no way anybody canrefute that.
No, theologian, even thoughthey want to try to, they can't
refute the reality of it.
So, as somebody who wants tolive as much of a biblically
accurate life as I could as aman, I actually discovered that
feeling like I need to be.
(11:37):
How do I say this as a man?
If I feel like I need to proveto Ariel that I'm the leader by
subduing her gifts, that isactually not true masculinity to
me at all.
It's not even leadership, ifyou think about the best leaders
of our time, like leader A isthe type of person that might
try to lord their authority overother people and subdue their
(12:00):
gifts in order to make sure thateveryone knows that they're a
leader.
Example B of a leader is aperson who looks at their team,
recognizes the giftedness ofeach individual and creates an
environment that fosters thosetalents and uplifts those
talents to the highest level andmaximizes their individual
potential.
Which leader do you think is abetter?
Quote unquote leader A orleader B?
(12:20):
Most likely, we're going to sayleader B, right?
So even as a leader that I feellike I'm called to be, my job
as a leader is to look foreverybody in my life what did
God give them, what gifts dothey have, what talents do they
have, and how can I use mystrength not to subdue them but
to actually lift them up?
So I can go on and on aboutthis.
If you want, we can continuedown that, but that's the
(12:42):
philosophy that I took.
And even in the Bible you lookat some of the most incredible
men of God.
They had amazing, powerfulwomen beside them.
If you look at the story ofAdam and Eve, it was when God
looked at Adam.
It was the first time he saidthis is not good.
Everything else is good, butAdam being by himself, he said
no, this is not good, I need tobring a helper suitable.
And what happened was theytended the garden together, they
(13:06):
worked together, they co-ruledtogether and I actually believe
that a true biblical approach toleadership and working with
your spouse.
It's not a situation where oneperson is like this
authoritarian dictator and theother person is subservient.
It's a situation where you'reboth co-ruling together in your
area of giftedness.
That's the way that I look atit and for me.
(13:26):
I have encountered with Ariel.
When I try to compete with herstrength in order to show her
that I'm a leader.
I've come to learn that isactually my own insecurity, my
own weakness, that I'm trying toposture over her.
The reality is that truestrength and true masculinity
recognizes the gift in yourpartner and does what they can
to lift up those gifts to morepeople oh my gosh, okay, I'm
(13:50):
obsessed with you too.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
There's like people.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I need to introduce you to because, I'm obsessed
with you too.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I love this because I didn't grow up in the church
and so then I joined like a veryhigh control church when I
first joined that where womenhave no role outside of yeah and
children.
And so they were like.
I actually remember one timethey prayed over me that my
business would be a failure sothat a good, worthy husband
would actually marry me.
(14:16):
It's very weird.
Like we could do a wholeepisode on that.
But I'm so curious becauseyou're like I had to like, look
at rake.
Sorry, ariel, I feel like I'mlike cutting you out.
This is no, I love thisconversation.
So I just hearing you sayinitially I wanted to subdue,
initially as the man, this iswhat I want to do.
Do you feel like you both havea little not like deconstruction
(14:36):
, because I hate that word, butdid you like challenge your
theology to where you are now?
What was that process?
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Absolutely.
I can start with this.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'll share my perspective first.
And then I want you to bring inyours.
From my perspective, this was alittle challenging for me
because, like you said, I didn'tgrow up in the church either.
Like I went to church, but itwas like twice a year on
Christmas and Easter.
So that was my initialperspective and I remember when
Kyle and I first got together,he always had a pretty strong
Christian faith and so, from myperspective, I was a business
owner when we were together andI always was leading in a lot of
(15:08):
regard of my life.
And so when I was with him, Iremember thinking like I don't
know if he wants to actually bewith me, because I don't think
he wants, like a woman like me,and so that was like the very
beginning.
As our relationship grew,obviously we were together, we
got married, but I also hit apoint too where I think he was
questioning his own theology inthis regard and I started to
(15:29):
also question like, am I wrongfor making him want to support
me?
And so there was thatinteresting divide there where
we both had to grow in differentarenas.
So that was my side, but whatwere you going through at?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
the moment.
Yeah, to just tag on to that,If you go to a lot of Christian
or church oriented leadershipconferences not all of them, but
some of them will justbasically paint a picture that
like exactly lemon what youshared, which is like the man
should lead, but lead in thesepredefined ways that we as a
culture and society have labeledit to be appropriate, and I
(16:00):
think that's where the problembecomes.
So when I was exploring this, Iwas trying to hold two tensions
, which is number one, I want tolive a biblically accurate life
.
And number two, the Christianchurch and culture sometimes
paints a picture that I think isactually opposed to the
biblically accurate life.
So if we're searching for asource of truth objectively to
(16:21):
hold our lives to, what I'vepersonally found is that I
deconstructed my view ofChristian culture.
The Christian culture assumesall of these extra biblical
labels that they will just putonto people and say if you want
to be a Christian, this is howyou are to be, this is how you
are to dress, this is how youare to act, this is how you are
to interact with each other ashusband and wife, and some of
(16:44):
those things are just, I think,not only not in scripture, but
they're antithetical and theycan be taken to the level of
abuse.
So obviously I'm speaking inthe abstract.
But, to be very literal, we'veseen so many Christian whether
they were marriage counselors orevents say things a good woman
will submit to you in everythingand this is what you need to do
and this is what a godly womanneeds to look like.
(17:04):
When I read scripture, that'snot what I see at all.
You see so many examples ofamazing, powerful women who have
stepped up in times of crisis.
Obviously, there's the story ofDeborah, but if you look at
even Esther, or if you look atAbigail, King David is a hero of
the faith, but Abigail kind ofstopped him from doing some
stupid stuff and wiping out anentire town.
And I even look at Ariel,sometimes like she's my Abigail,
(17:26):
because when I'm about to dosomething stupid she'll stop me.
And if you look at Barack, ifyou look at gosh, even in the
New Testament you have exampleslike Lydia.
You have examples of just theseamazing women.
Or even what is the name of thecouple that you would be?
Anyway, there's a couple too.
I forgot their name.
That rhymes.
I forgot the name of it rightnow, but anyway, all that is to
(17:47):
say, I don't.
I think the short answer is Ihad to deconstruct the Christian
culture, not the Bible, becausein the Bible itself, women are
powerful.
They are used by God to expresstheir gifts in amazing ways,
and even as a man, as a leader,it is my job to lift that up,
not to put it down.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Okay, I love you guys .
I'm so glad actually foranybody listening and I love
that.
You said you didn't deconstructthe Bible but deconstructed the
culture.
Yeah, that's what I think I'mseeing like a bigger shift on is
the deconstruction of Christianculture and labels that don't
actually exist, and thislegalistic viewpoint that we
(18:24):
have of men and women and thosepredefined roles and I know this
is not the conversation that wenecessarily plan to have, guys,
but obviously this is where Godwanted us to go and I just love
that you guys are so bold aboutit too.
I think we need more boldcouples.
I think especially like we needmore bold men in this arena.
Because I think that, like forAriel and I, like we can say
(18:46):
like we have gifts and we arecalled to do these things, and
you get labeled some like realnasty things for doing that.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Ariel, has that been your experience?
Yeah, I'll even say we put outsome content around this topic
and it did very well meaning.
I think it's a very polarizingtopic that people are interested
in and of course, we got somesupport.
But we also got a lot of hate,and I will say a lot of it was
actually more geared towardsKyle.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
I would get hate too, but it was more in regards of
how Kyle could be with somebodylike me.
It was how he is weak for thatand he is this, so actually a
lot of the hatred was towardshim, right, and so it's very
interesting.
That is how we judge thestandard of a good man is by
like the type of woman that theyare with and whether that falls
into a preconceived box that alot of people have in their own
(19:32):
mind.
So it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Yeah, did you feel any pressure though?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah, I did in the beginning.
Like I said, in the earlystages I felt like maybe I'm not
the woman for Kyle, maybe I'mnot the person that he wants.
When I would go to church andwould experience, sometimes,
those boxes that I felt like Ihad to fit in, it just made me
question again.
It made me question my faith,but it also made me question
whether I should be with Kyleand if I was wrong in that
(20:00):
regard.
I think as time went on, Ithink you and I were growing in
this on two different sides ofthe equation around the same
time, and so by the time, kylewas like in your own words I
don't want to put words in yourmouth, but recognizing that me
being a strong woman didn'tnegate his own strength or his
own masculinity, I started toalso step into no, I think I can
be this way as long as I'm nottearing Kyle down, which is
(20:20):
never the point again, is neverthe point of strength.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, and I think that's really the crux of this
is how people define strength.
Does strength have to mean thatmy wife is weak?
No, strength can mean thatwe're both strong.
And does strength necessarilyjust mean masculine Also?
No, yes, you can be strong andmasculine, but you can also be
strong and feminine.
So this is just an example ofhow the culture defines the word
strong and then mass labels itto a gender, and that is an
(20:44):
example of like.
It's not inside of the Bible atall, because by the definition
of strength if you look at it asstrength of character or
strength of virtue, strength ofhonesty, strength of talent,
there are so many examples ofamazing women in the Bible who
embody that strength.
So if people say that Arielneeds to be more feminine and
less strong, those are peoplethat are using the world's
definitions, not the Bible's.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Okay, I love this.
As you're saying this, I'm likethat is literally what the
Pharisees did.
They missed the point.
They had their own definitionof who the Messiah is and how
he's supposed to show up andwhat these prophecies mean, and
they missed the point completely.
And so you miss out on thegreatest blessing ever to come
to the earth because you missedthe point.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Because of ego.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Oh, this is so cool.
I love this topic, so let's,yeah, we're down for it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yep, oh, this is so good, love this topic.
So let's, yeah, we're down forit.
I love it because it's superinteresting.
Like I know my husband, we wentthrough something like really
similar right.
So I was in very high controlgroup.
They like I remember the groupthat I was in, like when I
miscarried.
They were like it's because Goddoesn't want you to have babies
because you run a business, andI was like that's really gross.
We left there, we're in theBible Belt and I'm in rural
Georgia.
So the church that we went toafter that was similar.
(21:55):
I went to school to get mymaster's in apologetics and
theology because I was like Idon't know enough, like I'm such
a nerd.
I'm like I want to learn thatcommunity is also very high
control and legalistic.
I love all of my apologistfriends, but if you don't
interpret scripture the way youdo, like you're a heretic and
you're down to the castle, whichis also really interesting, I'm
like I think I just left onefor the other, and so I was
(22:17):
having a conversation with ourpastor and he because they
wanted me to take over women'sministry, because they were like
this is like you're the onlyfemale in church who has an
advanced degree in this space,like I think you should do it.
And my pastor looked at me.
The women asked me to do it.
My pastor looked at me and hewas like I hate when women want
to go deeper with their theology.
They don't know what it means.
(22:37):
They don't need community likethis, they don't need leadership
like this.
And he's like there's nothingmy congregation can learn from
you because you're a woman.
And my husband immediately andit was interesting because he
was in this legalistic space too, where he was like like I have
to exude masculinity in thiscapacity.
The minute I called him, he waslike absolutely not he was like
we're out.
He's like you can't.
(22:58):
He's like how can you look atmy wife and discredit her
absolutely?
you got a good one there yeah,big fan, he's a camper yeah, I
would say so I like him and it'sfunny because I tell him this
all the time too like I feellike it's not enough to just be
like I, I love you, like I tellthem all the time I like you,
like I genuinely like you, andyou guys said this in the
beginning.
You guys have date nights and Ithink it's important like we
(23:22):
full belly laugh with each otheron a regular basis.
Like I think it's importantthat we actually enjoy each
other.
Can you guys have said this too?
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I've talked to a lot of people who are like I can't
imagine spending that much timewith my spouse.
Yeah, yeah, I agree.
One thing I'll say too I lovethat you said you don't just
love your husband, you like himtoo.
We say that all the time.
It's there's a difference.
Right, you can love out of justlike commitment, but you also
have to like the person thatyou're, and I would agree.
I think Kyle is my best friendand we have a great time
together both in work andoutside of work.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yeah, and it's anybody listening.
If you don't just love butactually like your spouse, it
also allows you to stand headsand shoulders above other
marriages these days, becausewhen we all ask ourselves, how
many marriages in our life canwe think of where the husband
and wife are happy?
Sometimes it's hard to find anexample of one, and I think that
for us, it really comes down toone thing and we talked about
(24:16):
this together which is we havesuch a respect and admiration
for each other as individualsthat it just pours into
everything that we do.
So when we think aboutbalancing work life and romance
life, for example, when we areworking in business, I recognize
that there are gifts that Arielbrings to the table that I do
(24:36):
not bring at all.
Like, business requires us tobe creative.
It requires us to be logical,it requires us to be aesthetic,
but it also requires us to beefficient.
It requires us to be accurate.
It also requires us to movequickly, and all of these
different dichotomies exist.
They all help us growbusinesses, but usually in a
couplepreneur relationship wherehusbands and wives are growing
(24:57):
businesses together.
God didn't give the same exactset of skills and gifts in each
person.
He actually gives complimentarygifts in each person.
So in the business world, thereason why we're able to like
each other is because I tellAriel this all the time.
When we're meeting and we'restrategizing about where we're
going to take our marketing nextor who we're going to hire next
(25:17):
, and we're strategizing aboutwhere we're going to take our
marketing next or who we'regoing to hire next.
When we have discussions, Ilove that we approach almost
every single topic from acompletely different lens,
because it allows us to make themost objective business
decision possible.
And when you make objectivebusiness decisions, that is what
impacts the growth of yourbusiness and also your revenue
and your profits.
On the relationship side so likewhen we are switching from
(25:38):
working all day into maybe goingon a date night I love the fact
that my wife looks as beautifulas she does.
I love the fact that she iswhen she looks at me, she looks
at me not just as a businesspartner.
She looks at me as, like aromantic partner that she's
interested in, and we purposelyput certain triggers and certain
(25:58):
transitions and routines in ourlives to maintain both of that,
both of those differentdynamics and our respect for
each other in the work life aswell as the romance life.
So I would just say that's whatwe've done.
You can look at your partner asalmost like a Christmas gift,
and what I mean by that is whenyou receive a gift in Christmas,
you could do one or two things.
You could either, if someonehands you a present and it's
(26:19):
wrapped in a bow, you couldchoose to just take that gift
and put it aside and forgetabout it.
Or you could choose to unwrapthat gift and see what's inside.
When you have a partner thathas a different perspective and
complimentary skillset of youand you ignore it, it's like
receiving a gift at Christmasand just putting it in the room
and forgetting about it.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
But if you hang it out of the room.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
You don't belong here , yeah exactly, but if you
receive that gift and you openit up and the amazing blessing
that's on the inside of it, thatessentially represents your
partner's different perspective,their different working style,
their different approach and, ofcourse, the different ways in
which they complement yourvision of what you want to
accomplish in life.
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Yeah, when you bring those things together, it
creates like one superhuman,essentially.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Exactly that's what the Bible says right.
When you get married you're oneflesh Exactly, and I love that.
You said they're complimentary.
I talk to my husband about thisall the time.
I'm like if Eve was made fromthe rib then like she brings
complimentary skills and it's sofunny.
My husband and I we found Allof our skills are complimented.
He is a blue collar guy, helike he worked with me for a
little bit and he's like I wantto get out and touch things
(27:19):
again, so he's like a two fingertyper.
But he's so smart in all theseother areas and there's things
even in our marriage I hate.
He doesn't want to manage thefinances where I'm actually
obsessed with math, or like whenwe had to get when we moved, he
was like I cannot handle thepacking, like that gives me
anxiety and I was like perfect,because I don't want to pick
things up and put them down.
And he's like I can do that joband so we're.
(27:46):
Everything we do is socomplimentary to each other and
I think it makes it easier whenyou can look at your partner and
have so much respect for themand the way that God created
them.
I think it brings a differentdynamic to your relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Oh, thank you.
And what's really cool, too, iswhat we found is that it's also
a superpower in business.
Yeah, like they.
There's actually studies thathave been done that says that
couples who are runningbusinesses together have a
higher likelihood of keeping thebusiness open and thriving
after multiple years, andthere's a lot of reasons for
that.
And what's so cool is we'veseen it in our own life and it's
(28:15):
also proved by physics.
There's this study that happenedwhere they showed that one
draft horse can pull about 8,000pounds of weight on their own,
and you would think that if youhave two draft horses that they
would pull double the weight.
Right?
So instead of 8,000 pounds, itwould be 16,000 pounds.
But what they found is thatwhen you have two draft horses
that are pulling in the samedirection, they can actually
(28:40):
pull three times the weight ofjust one.
So we can see this compoundingnature in physics in the world
that God created, and what Arieland I have discovered, not just
with ourselves but with thetons of clients that we've
helped, is that there is acompounding advantage that you
have working together with yourspouse, where you can actually
accomplish three times, if notmore, than just the average
solopreneur out there.
So that's what we found, andit's pretty remarkable to see
(29:02):
even in the Bible when it saystwo are better than one.
There's a reason why it saysthat we are meant to be
complimentary to each other, andthe things that we accomplish
together are exponentiallyhigher than what we can
accomplish apart.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
I love that and I love when things in the natural
just prove the spiritual.
It gets me so excited.
I would love it If anybody'slistening.
Some final advice you wouldhave for people who are trying
to work with their spouse orresources.
You want to point them to oranything like that.
Feel free to put them all in.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Yeah, I'll start and then I'll pass it to you.
So I think the most importantkind of actually piggybacking
off of what Kyle just said ishaving a unified vision, because
as a couple, whether you're inbusiness together or not, or
separately, you are creating avision for your life, for your
family and together.
A lot of the times what we seeis couples fall into one of two
camps.
The first camp is either theyhave no vision, meaning they're
(29:54):
just like going through themotions every day, getting
through life, and that's reallyit or they have division, and we
say division because theetymology of the word die means
two, and then vision is two, sotwo visions.
And when you have two visions,what you find is that's when
people actually do grow apart.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah, because two visions equals division.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Exactly so when you have two visions, people
actually grow apart, whereas, ifyou guys can look at, here are
individual visions.
Where is the overlap and howcan we bring those two things
together into something that'sunified?
So we're pulling and heading inthe same direction.
That's where we see a lot ofthe success.
So one of the things that we dowith couples that we work with
is we help them define, like,what are the values that they
(30:34):
both have individually and thenwhere do those values overlap?
So when you can look at, thatmeans that you're defining what
are the values that you wantyour life to stand for, versus
just starting with what house doyou want to live in, what type
of car do you want to drive.
So we start with the values andthen we go into okay, what is
the lifestyle that not onlydemonstrates those values to the
world?
What's the lifestyle that youwant to live?
(30:55):
What's the lifestyle that youfeel called to live?
Where do you want to live?
What does your house look like?
How much free time do you have?
How much are you working?
What size is your team If youhave a business?
All of these different things.
And then the last kind of pieceof this is we ask couples to
then go okay, what is actuallyrequired to fund that vision, to
fund that dream, especiallywhen we're working with business
owners, it's okay, what is therevenue amount?
(31:17):
That gives you the take homethat you need to fund the vision
.
And so we break it down thatway because it allows people to
create a unified vision versustrying to pull in two different
directions.
That would be the first thingthat I would say.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yeah, and the easiest way to apply that for anyone
listening is to just pick a timethroughout the week to go on
what we call a vision date.
A vision date is a time whereyou just get together and you
ask those questions what are ourindividual and shared values,
what lifestyle do we want tolive and what's the monetary
amount that is required to makethat lifestyle a reality?
Once you figure out whateverthe monetary amount is, you just
(31:48):
take that number, you multiplyit by three and that gives you
your revenue goal.
And then, once you have thatrevenue goal, that dictates
everything else you do inbusiness.
So that's why Ariel startedwith.
That is because everythingstarts with the vision and then
you work backwards because youwant to create a business that
gives you the lifestyle that youwant, not the other way around.
So what we do with couples is wehelp them define their vision
number one, their goals, numbertwo, which is the measurable
(32:10):
milestones to accomplish thatvision, and then number three
strategy to make that a reality,because there are so many
different marketing strategiesand business growth strategies
out there.
But the superpower thatentrepreneur couples have is
when they combine how theyspecifically work as a couple
with what works objectively inthe marketplace, and when you
can find that intersectionbetween your shared gifts and
talents, the lifestyle that youwant, and you pair a strategy
(32:32):
that's customized for thatspecific growth.
That is when you're able to seerapid expansion.
This is why this is really oursecret weapon when we work with
entrepreneur couples, they'rebreaking revenue records every
single month without feelingstressed that the business is
straining their relationship,because, while they're having
more money in their business andmore money in their bank
account than ever before,they're simultaneously growing
(32:54):
together and prioritizing therelationship in the process.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I love this and I love you too.
There's so many people I wantto connect you with because I
just think that you two aredoing something really special
and I just I deeply appreciateit.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
So guys.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Please go, connect to them.
I will link to all of theirsocials to in the show notes for
you, but please go next withthem.
I just thank you guys for beinghere and just being so honest
to about where you guys havebeen and just things you've
walked through and thedeconstruction process and all
this.
I just really appreciate thecandor because I just threw that
on you.
So just thank you.
Thank you both so much forbeing here.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Thank you so much for having us and asking great
questions, and if anyone wantsto connect with us, they could
just follow us at Couplepreneurson Instagram.
Shoot us a message, let us knowthat Lemon sent you and we'll
hook you up with a free resourcethat you can use as well.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
You guys are the best .
So until next time, friend.
Hey friend, what a joy it hasbeen to share today's journey
with you.
If you found a spark ofinspiration or a nugget of
wisdom that resonated, would youbless someone else by sharing
this episode with them?
It could be the encouragementthey need to step into their
purpose and calling.
Also, if you could spare amoment to leave a review, it
(34:05):
would mean the world to me.
I really appreciate yourfeedback and it really helps our
community grow.
Remember, the road todiscovering God's call for you
isn't one you have to walk alone.
So join me again next Mondayfor another episode where we'll
continue to explore the depthsof leadership and the heights of
our heavenly calling.
Until then, no-transcript.
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