October 28, 2024 • 39 mins
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Imagine overcoming the fear and misconceptions of medication to find newfound clarity and peace. In this episode of Mind Your Heart Podcast, we welcome our first guest, Jake, who shares his powerful journey dealing with anxiety and depression. Jake’s candid storytelling, paired with Emily’s heartfelt reflections, offers an intimate look into the challenges of starting medication and the transformative effects it can have on mental health.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your
favorite corner of the internetwhere we chat about all things
mental health.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Emily and I'm Trina.
Together, we're like yourreal-life Lorelai and Rory
Gilmore.
Each week, we'll bring you realconversations about the world
of mental health and we willpeel back layers on topics like
anxiety, depression and muchmore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff,
the everyday stuff andeverything in between.
So grab your emotional supportwater bottle I know we have ours
.
Find your comfiest chair orkeep your eyes on the road and
let's get into it.
Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Absolutely.
Join us as we mind our heartsand hopefully make minding yours
a little easier.
Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Emily, welcome back.
Trina, welcome to the Mind yourHeart podcast Today.
I'm so excited.
Yeah, we have our firstofficial guest.
Yay, this guest is the best.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
In the studio as well .
That's the other bright spot ofthis in-person guests?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
yes, which will the guests that we'll have?
So this is the start of kind oflike our guest segment for a
little bit of fall.
Um, so the next like four orfive episodes we'll have some
really awesome people come onand chat with us.
But, um, today our first guestis a very special guest.
He's all right, we love him.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
So much we do love him so much.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
He, yeah, is one of the very best people that I know
.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I mean you could probably guess he's a blessing
and gift to our whole family.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, so we have Jake , my boyfriend, hi, hi, jake, hi
.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
How are you?
I'm doing good.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
How do you feel about that intro?
It's pretty good, okay, thankyou.
We think this is going to be aninteresting interview, because
Jake is normally a man of fewwords.
That is his thing that is true.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
However, lately I have felt, like he's, that
you've definitely been moretalkative.
I even said this at the beachhouse, which is kind of one of
the reasons we even talked aboutdoing this episode.
Yeah, because I was like, wow,jake seems so happy, are things
going good at work?
Like Like he's like so muchmore talkative and like really,
(02:29):
you were really invested in thegames and I don't know, I just
noticed like a brightness.
I mean you always have had such, I mean a great personality and
wonderful, you're wonderful.
But it was like I don't know.
It was as if you were likecompletely awake and just yeah,
but it was like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
It was as if you were like completely awake and just
yeah, like something wasdifferent, yeah, and something
was different.
So that's kind of what we'retalking about today.
So I guess, like our first, ourlead into this would be like,
could you kind of explain, likehow, the difference between what
you were feeling before youtook medication and when you now
(03:10):
are on medication and you'renot in the stage of it being
like you feel like you're goingto throw up?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
all the time, yeah, so the best way that I can like
describe it is like beforemedication I was feeling like
pretty anxious, pretty.
At the time I didn'tnecessarily know that it was
like depression, um.
But being on the other side ofit now I'm like, oh yeah, like I
was depressed, um, and justlike things that would give me
(03:40):
like joy in life or the basicjoys in life didn't um or didn't
as much, because like thingslike doing little things around
the house or like I loveStarbucks, um, shout out
Starbucks um, like that wouldn'teven necessarily bring me as
much joy as it used to um.
(04:01):
But then once I got amedication, it was kind of like
a new whole perspective, likeyou were kind of saying, like it
felt like my mind was unlockedin a way.
Um, like there was just a senseof clarity that after the
negative side effects, yeah,because that was for like well,
a couple weeks, I think likethree or four I don't think,
(04:22):
because it was when I was onhalf and then on the full.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I think it was like two Well.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I mean he, he probably knows how we felt, yeah
.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I know, but I mean, he was also like really good at
communicating it.
So but yeah, either way.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
It was a rough transitionary period but I stuck
it out.
You were very encouraging withthat and knowing that, like you
had been through what you hadbeen through trying to find your
medication it was super helpfulto have that modeled yeah, yeah
, I think, and I so I guess thatlike my question would be also
like, what made you be like,yeah, now I'm gonna start
(05:01):
medication?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
because before you took medication, like I had
definitely encouraged you tolike see a psychiatrist and see
what they even said, like abouttaking medication, um, prior to
you doing that.
So, and for a little while Ifeel like that was something I
was like, oh, maybe like youshould try and see what happens.
So, like, what was the thing?
(05:23):
Or can you even pinpoint thething that was like okay, yeah,
like I'm gonna do that, yeah um,like at first I I was.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I think what I was outwardly showing was like oh,
it's too expensive.
I can't we can't afford that.
Um, like I know how much likemeds can cost and like I know I
know like from your experience,like oh, you had you had a
psychiatrist, it was over ahundred dollars and I was like I
can't do that on a regularbasis.
But I think what, what thatreally was, was kind of like a
(05:55):
masking of fear of something newand not necessarily knowing
what that would do Not for likethe negative side effects, but I
think like changing mepersonally.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You feel like it's going tomake you a different version of
yourself.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
And I've heard stories of like oh, people feel
like zombies, yeah, which iswhen people are overmedicated.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah, so um, that that can happen, but then you
know that that's too much of amedication.
It should never like can changeyour personality.
It should never like changeyour personality.
It should like enhance how youfeel, but not be.
You're not a completelydifferent person?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Right yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
You feel?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
like a better version of yourself, for sure Not a
non-version of yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah, yeah.
And that's definitely like whatI feel now.
But I think that was like a bigthing for having a fear of
doing it.
Um, but I think also it kind oflike me, like my, my mental
state kind of got to the pointwhere I was like I don't really
know what else to do.
Um, like you had even said,like you seem like depressed or
(06:58):
like down or like unhappy.
Um, and I was like, yeah, likeI, I do feel that way and like
what's the harm?
Like I'm still under 26, so I'mstill on my dad's plan.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
So shout out, dad yeah, shout out Tony, which is
actually a really good thingthat we have in America,
honestly like that's a we shouldyeah, yeah, I mean why not?
Yeah, be on, you know, be ableto be on somebody's plan.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, and so having that monetary cost, I was like
covered.
I was like well, you got nomore excuses, but then also like
just your encouragement of Ithink you could really benefit
from this.
And I just went online while Iwas at work, um, and just looked
up psychiatrists in Tampa orBranson or whatever, and then I
(07:45):
found one on telehealth and shewas super cool.
The way I could describe it islike she was like big sister
vibes, and so it was like I feltvery comfortable and she was
like we'll just start you onsomething small, but it was
really good.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, it was definitely like, and I think and
you can tell me if you agreewith this or not but I think,
like almost having my like kindof shitty experiences with
psychiatrists, I was also likeokay, this is what you're going
to look for of, if this isworking or if it's not.
And I remember, like you, afteryour first appointment, you were
(08:19):
like yeah, like that was reallygood, and she like wants to
start slow and like she alsowants to incorporate like
different, like eating habits tobe better my sleep, and I'm
like good, I'm like perfect,check, check, check, like then,
like she knows what she's doing.
Basically, because it's likeyou have to vet the person.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You definitely do.
It makes all the difference,even, like I mean for me as well
.
And also also I say, the numberone thing is actually finding a
psychiatrist and not a generalpractitioner I don't think
general practitioners have anybusiness prescribing these kinds
of medications, and it happensall the time that's crazy, it's
crazy.
And actually in canada, wherethey have you know um health
(08:59):
care, like really good healthcare, they they have to go to a
general practitioner.
They can't go to a psychiatrist, isn't that really yeah?
I think that's upsetting Um sothey're just very much about
like the general practitioner,like is the one that's in
control.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Are they trained?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
differently?
No, they're not.
They need to go topsychiatrists.
They just don't have access topsychiatrists like we do.
So it is, it is really crazywhen you think that you know
they're so much more advanced inthis area.
They're not.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Is there more of like a controlled substance issue in
Canada?
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Um, it's just that I mean, I really feel strongly
about this because I've had anOBGYN tried to prescribe these
kinds of things to me.
I have had a generalpractitioner and they just don't
know what they're doing.
The psychiatrist is an expert.
They understand, especiallyones that specialize in
medication and how it impactsyour brain and how it works in
your brain and all those things,and that's really important.
(09:55):
And if you find someone that youfeel uncomfortable like when
Jackson went to two differentpsychiatrists to deal with his
ADHD, the first psychiatrist waslike was like so adamantly
opposed to certain kinds ofmedication and and so it was
like what?
Like he wasn't even and to havelike such a narrow focus from
(10:15):
the get go, you really wantsomeone that's open minded about
different things, and so Ithink that's great that you
found I've had some good luckand some not so good luck, and
when I found a psychiatrist thatI had for years and years, I
loved her, she was wonderful andshe it made all the difference.
Yeah, um, and I was able tobounce things off of her and
also for for you and I like bar.
(10:37):
The way that our bodiesmetabolize certain medications,
like I kept running into thisisn't working anymore.
Not to try something else, andit was a big.
You just need someone that'svery patient and willing to
figure it out, and I thinkthat's so important.
And then I had kind of a Idon't want to say lazy, but like
a.
It was fine if I was justmaintaining, but if I needed any
(10:58):
adjustment he wasn't my guy.
Now I again finally feel like Iam with someone that will make
sure that I am getting what Ineed.
I think one thing that I waswondering if this is true for
you, jake the minute it startedreally kicking in, which was not
too long it was prettyrelatively short I was.
(11:19):
I felt like I wished I had donethis sooner, because it was
like you don't even realize thatyou're walking around with a
little bit of like a dark cloudover your head until you're like
holy crap, I can see Like thisis.
So I feel so much better.
That's how I feel so muchbetter.
(11:39):
And even when things stopworking sometimes for me and I
have to make adjustments, theway that my depression comes out
is anger and I'll all of asudden be like really pissed off
at things and I'm like, why amI so mad?
Like the lady that cut me offin traffic is the worst thing
ever.
And I'm like something's goingon Like I'm really mad about
(12:00):
things I don't need to be so madabout.
And again, the minute it'sadjusted, I'm like whoa, this is
.
It feels so much better, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Yeah Well, funny story the first time that I ever
felt any like reaction to it,or like the first night I took
it.
It was a full dose and I waslike I looked at Emily, I was
like I feel like funny it.
It felt like I was like tipsyand like high and just like
wonky I was, like I just feel sosilly yeah like that's like,
(12:33):
that's like the best way I couldput it as like I just felt
silly, um, and she was like,well, it's okay, like she was
very patient and very kind andvery nurturing um, and then so
she's like you could just godown to half.
Yeah, no, it was huge, becauseI was like I feel strange um, oh
, he was like.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I feel like my whole body is vibrating yeah like all
the time and I was like okay,well, like you're it's, you're
putting something foreign yeah,like here's your brain chemicals
yeah, adjusted, and I'm like so, like it's, that's not like a
shock.
I'm like, do you feel like okayenough to like that?
We can just monitor it likewhere are you at with that?
(13:08):
And so then we started kind ofcoming up with a way to like
scale, like where you were at onlike the yeah danger level yeah
yeah, I never felt like I wasreally like in danger.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, it was just because, like I knew we're in a
safe space, like with you andall of that um.
But the first clarity, the bestway I can describe like the
biggest change frompre-medication to
post-medication is just clarityyeah um, I think the first time
you could correct me if I'mwrong, because I feel like I
told you um is we were in astaff meeting and I had been
(13:42):
called on for something.
It wasn't like an aggressive or.
I got you called on, brian.
The lead pastor was kind oflike Jake, how do you feel about
this?
Or whatever, and I likeresponded and I didn't feel any
anxiety.
Yes, in the past it was kind oflike I would get called on and
like my hand would start toshake.
Like my voice would tremble andthings of that nature.
(14:04):
But then I like didn't get theshakes at all and then more and
more stuff, things like thathappened.
Then I was like it was justthat clarity and that peace of
those interactions was justreally nice.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Did you feel like when you were like younger,
where that didn't bother you somuch and you were easy going
when you got called on?
Or have you always had a littlebit of a feeling of anxiety
about it?
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I wouldn't say that like my sorry.
I would say that my anxietystarted kind of when I began
like my adult life.
Okay, when I was younger Iwould I don't necessarily
remember being anxious in schoolOkay, like I wouldn't get
nervous or called on or whateverum, but I think I was also like
(14:49):
comfortable in that spacebecause I was very like smart
and like school came very easyto me.
So I felt very comfortable, um,but I'd say it was really more
just in my adult life.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I was just wondering that because I wonder how much
like hormones and things play animpact on that.
The reason I say that?
Because that story just wonderhow much like hormones and
things play an impact on that.
The reason I say that becausethat story just reminded me of,
like when I was younger, likewhen I was in high school and
things like that.
I felt the same way, likeconfident.
I don't remember feelinganxious.
I know there were certainthings that I look back on and
I'm like that was definitelyanxiety that I don't like,
(15:23):
didn't know about at the timebut whoops, but I um should I
make sure?
it's still recording um justpull the cord, oh yeah, okay,
cool, leave it on the ground fornow.
(15:44):
Um, okay.
So I remember feeling likereally confident and very like I
had a lot of friends and like Iwas in a bunch of clubs and
those you know, vice president,all these, whatever and so I
felt I was in student council.
I I totally felt comfortabletalking about how I felt about
things.
I've always been veryopinionated, so I like share
things, like I feel like thisand and I always felt completely
(16:08):
fine.
But as I got older, like in mylater 20s, I started like
getting more like insecure, likenot feeling as confident about
and wanting to say things, butbut like feeling this, like I
would be in a group of peopleand this was like teaching and I
actually felt like I knew a lotabout teaching and I would feel
(16:32):
like, oh gosh, and I didn'tknow that was anxiety, like I
had no idea that was anxiety.
But then when I started takingthe medication, I was like I
felt like myself again.
I was like, oh, I havesomething to say about that and
it would pipe up and not feellike scared or whatever.
So I just remember feeling likethis was me, like this was the
(16:53):
real me.
Like this is, this is how I was,and then I somehow wasn't Does
that make sense.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah, at Centerpoint where I work they.
There's been differentscenarios that have come up um
where I've kind of had to be ina more speaking position or
things like that, um, andthey've dubbed it Lexapro Jake,
um, and just because it's likekind of like me out of like my
outer shell, or cause I was veryquiet, reserved, um, things of
(17:22):
that.
I keep saying things of thatnature.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Um, I have not even noticed that you've said yeah,
me either all right so you'reonly paying attention to it all
right, sounds good.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Um, but they they dubbed it alexa pro jake, which
is very.
I think it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm glad that you think that's
funny, because some people might, you know, be like well, but
there there definitely is adifference to you and it does
feel like a more confident I'mnot afraid to say what I think
kind of a and also just happier.
Yeah, you just seem happier,yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I feel like was it my mom who also said that, or
maybe it was Nicole.
Nicole is the you talked aboutNicole, um, but she was saying
like you just seem like brighter, yeah, and we did like a staff
Olympics where I kind of had tolead and speak and all of that.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Well, you like put the whole thing, you and Grace
put the whole thing together.
Yeah, so sorry, keep going.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
No, you're good, but I had to speak in front of like
basically all of our staff fortwo hours and like there was
like like anxiety there, but itwasn't like a crippling anxiety
that.
I had it was kind of like a.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
There's just that self-awareness of I'm anxious,
but I'm not gonna let it controlme and that's definitely
something that the medicationhas helped me have that clarity
again yeah, and even like afterthey did the staff Olympics,
like multiple people came to meand they were like Jake did so
good, like he was like justtalking to all of us.
(18:50):
We all had such a good time,like he was really able to like
lead it and like just make usall laugh, like he's so funny
and I'm like, yeah, I know he isfunny, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And that comes out more as well, like your
personality comes out more,which is nice.
I think that's.
I think that's so.
I think that's really great,jake, and also like figuring it
out so young, I mean.
I feel like this went on for along time for me before I
figured out that I needed anykind of.
But you know, some people maybe thinking like you know, why
(19:24):
go to medication as the first,like first line of defense, but
you're you're doing more thanmedication, like you're also
talking talking to someone too.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Right.
Well, so the the psychiatristthat I see there is a little bit
like of therapy in there, um,but the way that she describes
it is like a I believe it's atable or a chair, whereas like
medication is like one leg.
But, then there's other thingsthat make it up to.
So you have that stability.
Yeah, and at first I was like Ijust need to get need to get the
(19:54):
medication now, because that'swhen I was having the negative
side effects, yeah.
But now it's like, ok, you needto work on drinking more water,
eating more, eating three meals, getting good rest and going to
bed on time, things like that.
But it's been really, reallylife-changing just having that
(20:17):
and I think, the reason why Iwas able to do it.
So it's going to soundself-gratifying, but faithfully,
because I know people try andthen they're like, no, I don't
want to do it anymore.
The side effects are too much.
It's because, like you modeledit, um, just cause, like you
went through so many and so manyand like you just kept going
through and like tryingsomething else, like we're going
to figure it out, we're goingto figure it out.
And then also, like when I washaving the negative side effects
(20:38):
, it wasn't like and I wasn'tlike you should eat something.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Like not like you need to have three meals, like
she said.
Um, it was kind of just likeI'm gonna meet you where you are
and then we'll figure it outtogether.
Oh, that's nice yeah, I mean,like I know how like rough it
was when, like I was trying tofigure it out and I also like I
feel like I can now.
When you were starting stuff, Iwas like I can see this from,
yeah, like a 50 foot viewinstead yeah, and so like when
(21:11):
you were like I'm not hungry,like I'm not gonna eat.
I'm like I remember feeling sonauseous that, like you, don't
want to eat anything.
But I'm like I also rememberwhen I had at least something
like plain and small, it makesyou feel better.
Yeah and so I'm like I likeunderstand what you're feeling,
but I'm like I'm telling youlike just eat like one piece of
bread yeah, like just somethingso that way, like you don't keep
(21:34):
feeling like this, um.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
So yeah, I'm yeah, and some of those symptoms are
those side effects I should saysymptoms the side effects get
better Because, like, I have amedication that makes me kind of
I take it at night because ofthe.
It also makes me tired.
So I'm like, and it normallytypically is given in the
daytime but I'm like, well, Ican't because it's making me so
(22:00):
tired.
So it actually helps me go tosleep and it makes me a little
bit nauseous if I haven't eatenlike hours before that.
But when I do, then it's fine.
I don't feel that way.
But I think you know somethings you have to decide.
Is this better, like, obviously, if you're not eating and
you're, you know that's nothealthy.
(22:21):
you need to eat and then for me,like one of the medications,
like it affects your metabolismand makes it go down to nothing,
and when you're past menopause,like that can be an issue for
you.
I'm like, well, great, now I'vegained weight and so, and you
don't.
It's like what do you want tofocus on?
Like now, that makes medepressed.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah.
So, there's things likeanything because, it was like
you just felt like kind of sick,like everything that you ate
like just didn't taste goodbecause you felt nauseous.
But I was like okay, so likewhy don't we just say that like
(23:01):
you're gonna try this for onemore week and if you still feel
completely miserable and at thesame level, yeah then like you
can call your psychiatrist andyou'll try something else.
Yeah, and I'm like, but if youfeel better in a couple of days,
then like let's give it acouple more days and just see,
like giving yourself the chanceto see if it'll change, and also
(23:22):
like being like, okay, if itdoesn't, I'm allowed to like do
something, stop yeah, like Idon't have to keep feeling like
this either like it doesn't haveto be hit tails or a horn like
it can be I get to pick one goodoption and not have the rest.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
So, yeah, it definitely tapered, thankfully.
Yeah, that's good.
And then it respawned back upwhen I went back to the full
dose, but that didn't last aslong as the first initial point.
Yeah, and so I was like thankgosh.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
And you kind of have the tools to do that too.
At that point you were likeokay, I know what to expect and
I know like how I can.
Yeah, pb and j, that was likeall you ate for like a couple of
weeks.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Man, I need that.
I want that medication where Idon't want to eat and all I eat
is me.
Yeah, I was like that's all Iwant.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
That's all that sounds good right now yeah,
that's funny.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Um, but any other side effects?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
I mean, it was mostly just like GI stuff, Um, but
nothing really like anythingelse that I've like.
That's been noticeable.
Um, there's only negative ones,but there have been positive
ones.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, oh good, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm.
I'm curious what you would sayto someone who is like like if
you were talking to like Jakepre-medication and like you now
were talking to him then and hewas like I don't want to be on
medication, like I don't think,like I can do that, it's too
(24:48):
expensive, I don't want this.
I don't want what would youlike say to him, knowing what
you know now, this.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I don't.
What would you like say to him,knowing what you know?
Now I think I would say like Ifeel, like I would go specific,
but I don't necessarily thinkthat would benefit the listener.
Um, so I'll go a little moregeneral um you can be specific
okay, um, so apply this to yourareas, um, but I think, for like
moments where I really feltanxiety of like in staff
meetings or ideation meetings,it was like the way that you
(25:19):
feel like everyone's justlooking at you, the way that you
think everyone just likeanalyzing you.
Like that goes away.
There's going to be some trialsin the yeah, but it's gonna
stop.
Um, there will be, you will.
You will see some shortcomings,um and like your different
(25:41):
aspects of your life, but youwill have the clarity and the
focus to be able to improve uponthem.
Um, to have that retrospectionis a retrospective thoughts.
It's really helpful and so likejust just try it, take a leap,
find people around you that willhelp you and you'll be OK yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
And what do you say to people that they're scared of
side effects?
or they're scared of.
They're scared of side effectsor they're scared of, I mean,
and a lot, of, a lot of times,like the most common ones that
people worry about you know, arelike not eating, or some people
worry about gaining weight,some people worry about sex
drive decreasing, like that.
(26:28):
I know that's a big one thatpeople say they're so concerned
about the symptoms that theythey're so concerned about the
symptoms that they are willingnot to try because they are so
worried about that.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
I mean, I think for the symptoms issue, you can
figure out which medication isright.
I was very lucky when it waslike a first try.
That works.
It works good, no symptoms.
That was very great.
But even even if that thosesymptoms didn't subside, I think
I would have still continued,just because, like I knew what
it could do, I knew the thepositive benefits of what was
(27:10):
possible, and so I think, likeyou can keep the negative
symptoms in mind but you can'tlet them rule your decision, and
I know that's very easy to saynow that I'm on this side of
medication but just stay strongon that, like the right
medication, the right I don'twanna say concoction but the
(27:33):
right build of meds is out thereone way or the other.
Um, and so finding a goodpsychiatrist and all of that and
that support system is huge.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
You can do it definitely having like a support
system with it too but yeah, Ithink sometimes that's like the
drawback for some people asthey're like well, I don't know,
like I can't do it, like bymyself, and like I understand
that, because I think like it'slike if, if you're not in the
place, like you were, where it'sjust like kind of like a, you
(28:04):
try the first one and it it doeswork, and you're more on this
end of it where you try, yeah,all of them.
15 20, yeah, um then then youneed someone to be like okay.
Well, like is, what is yourpsychiatrist saying?
Like, what are they doing tosupport you?
Are you also doing this?
Like how can I help?
(28:25):
Like and finding the person isalso hard, and I've told this to
many of my friends, Like whenthey talk about, like thinking
about getting medication.
I'm like, if the finding of thepsychiatrist is the part that's
holding you back, like let mehelp you.
Like I will like give me yourinsurance information and tell
me, like your radius of whereyou want them to be and or if
(28:48):
you want them online, and likewe can look together, like find
someone who will do that withyou and who, like knows what to
look for, Because I'm like Iremember when I was first trying
to find like a goodpsychiatrist and it's so
overwhelming, Like there's justbecause you already feel
depressed and anxious.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And so everything feels like a lot of work, and
that's actually one of thesymptoms of depression.
Yeah, it feels so I can't.
I can't figure it out.
I can't take the time to figureit out because I am so
exhausted and everything feelsso hard like you can't even
really get out of bed, so howare you gonna?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
like open your computer and start researching,
like doctors in your area.
So like find somebody who likefor, like I feel like I'm feel
like I'm that friend, like forpeople.
I'm like if you need me to dothat, like I will find them and
I will go as far as making anappointment and giving them your
number to call for the rest ofthe information.
But I'm like it's there, youcan.
(29:48):
You can always put hurdles,yeah, put hurdles, yeah, in
front of you.
But to me, and especially likewhere I was like at an extreme
and you were getting to a pointwhere you were like really
unhappy, it's like the choice islike you can ask for somebody
to assist you and then like notfeel like this anymore or you're
(30:11):
just gonna keep spending yourlife like like kind of miserable
, yeah.
And it doesn't have to be thatway.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah, it doesn't so that's kind of where I'm like
you like just ask someone tohelp you.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Like that sounds hard and it's not like a just simple
thing, but like message someone, call someone, talk to someone
that, like you trust, is likeyour friend, your friend, your
parent, your brother, yoursister, whatever, and just ask
them like can you help me findsome people?
And like ask them to call themand give the office your number
and then they'll call you thatmakes it, it takes something off
(30:46):
of you.
Yeah, like just taking it likethose steps at a time and then
letting somebody help you islike like you don't have to stay
here.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
No, yeah, and that's the thing that I think all of us
would agree on Like it feels somuch better being on the other
side.
It is such a significantdifference that it feels worth
whatever you have to do to getto that because it just feels so
much better.
Yeah, so I think that that'sreally important.
Also, when you said that aboutthe table and being like you
(31:16):
know, eating and food and dietbeing an impact, you know, and
then medication, but also likecounseling, I mean you, you two,
are going to couples counselingcorrect yeah so like having
that part as well, like when Ifirst started medication I, that
wasn't the first thing I tried,like I actually tried
counseling and um, and so Ithink some of those parts can be
(31:40):
very helpful as well.
But that doesn't you know, thatdoesn't fix everything Sometimes
.
Sometimes there's like anactual chemical issue, an
imbalance or whatever in yourbrain and you need, you know,
you need, for me, I it.
When I first started taking itit was like a felt, like a
stigma.
At least now it feels less inthe world.
But I mean, this was you knowmy gosh.
(32:03):
How long has it been?
I mean, I guess around theamount of time that you, maybe a
little less, but like at least20 years or so.
But but my initial goal waslike I don't want to be on
medication for the rest of mylife and, and so we were like
that's not the goal.
The goal is to like get youstabilized and then we'll go
take it from there.
And um, I mean, it ended upthrough trial and error being
(32:27):
that, no, you do have to takemedication for the rest of your
life.
It's like having to takeinsulin for the rest of your
life, um, because I have a lowserotonin level.
It's not anything that I can doanything about yeah, besides
what I'm doing, yeah, so, um, Imean an exercise and things like
that are important.
Yes, I'm doing those things, soit you know, but that's okay,
(32:48):
it's like, but it's like comingto terms with that as well, like
I don't.
To me now that sounds so likewhy was I ever worried about
that?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
but I know that some people feel that way, so and
also like sometimes that's notthe case, like sometimes you
don't need to know you don't onmedication forever, and
sometimes it is like.
I kind of reset you and you'relike okay, I can wean off, I'm
done and yeah yeah, and it'salso like I think there's
different circumstances of likeit being like more seasonal or
(33:16):
like you know, just like seewhere it goes, because like at
least you'll get to the point ofbeing in the mindset to
(33:39):
actually make that decision in arational manner.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's a good point and that's one of the
things that, like mypsychiatrist had said.
She was like the goal right now, with the information that I
have it was our first meeting orsession.
She was like the goal is tokeep is to have you on
medication for six months to ayear, let your brain catch up to
the serotonin levels orwhatever chemicals she had
(34:02):
mentioned, um, to see if we canget it, get it up to that like
resting rate and then we weanyou off and if you need more
time, if you need less time,great, no problem.
But she was very clear and Idefinitely appreciated, like her
clarity and all that.
So I was like, oh, she's notjust trying to prescribe me
something and move on.
It was like, oh, she actuallycares about my longevity and
what works best for one personmight not work for the other,
(34:24):
and so I really appreciated thatwith with those sessions.
Yeah, for sure that's good, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Well, that was good.
Yeah, that was very helpful.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Jake All right, well, I think that was good.
Yeah, that was very helpful.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, thank you, jake .
Thank you.
Are we going to do somelightning round questions?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Oh yeah, yes, okay, let's see.
Do you want to help me pick?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Well, I can't see.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Okay.
Oh Well, you have your glassesAll right.
Oh, I'm going to do this one.
Okay, what is your favoritejunk food?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
You're asking me.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, we're asking you.
Who else are we asking?
Oh, each other.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Um, my favorite junk food is McDonald's.
Okay, that's my guilty pleasure.
Huh, I don't know why.
I think it's the salt.
I do know why it's the salt.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, that's funny.
The salt.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
Speaker 3 (35:21):
So I feel like we asked each other this when we
first started dating.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
I don't remember what you said.
Do you remember what I said?
No, Okay, because I'm like Idon't remember us asking that.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
So the question that I always thought that I would
want to ask him and I feel likeI almost started crying a little
bit when you asked me the firsttime we were doing these- Was
this when we were like at camp?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I think, so I feel like we were like in a workroom
cabin.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
So the question that I would ask him was like did I
make you proud?
And and like things of thatnature.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh, I do remember us talking about this.
We also talked about thisrecently.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
He says yes, yeah.
Yeah, um, absolutely, you makehim proud Um invisibility or
super strength, strength, Iagree with that.
Oh, interesting, I would.
Yeah, wait, there's another one.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Your first celebrity crush.
So this is a way back movieKangaroo Jack.
I don't even know that it's anolder movie, but I remember it
was the female lead in thatmovie or whatever.
I remember we had this big, bigTV.
It was like one of those boxTVs and I would watch the movie
(36:33):
and I would pause it.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Oh my goodness, Just on it, and I was like oh yes in
kangaroo jack.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Kangaroo jack was it the person that played jesse?
I have no idea.
I don't even remember thepremise of the movie.
Was it her sure?
I just remember like pausingthe tv and just like being
enamored that is so funny.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Who was your first celebrity crush?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
mine.
Yeah, um, it might have beenzach efron.
It honestly might have beenzach efron yeah, that's funny,
troy bolton yeah, yeah it was.
It was probably zach efron, Ithought like I thought he was
like going to be my boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Rob Lowe, rob Lowe, for sure, all day.
Rob Lowe, I mean not now HughJackman.
But, Rob Lowe is still verygood looking, as he's gotten
older.
He's also yeah, he's very goodlooking.
But, it was definitely Rob Lowein St Elmo's Fire.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Yeah, zac Efron's not my celebrity crush anymore,
yeah, but I, yeah, zac Efron'snot my celebrity crush anymore,
yeah, but I, I like him.
I think he's a good person, butI also am like he is like, so,
like jacked, yeah, well, Ithought he did that for a movie,
yeah, and so he had to like beon like different.
I think he was like tookmedications and stuff to like be
(37:53):
like that took steroids yeah,and so like he just doesn't look
like him no, is he not like?
Speaker 2 (37:59):
is that not I?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
don't know, I haven't seen him, I'm pretty sure his
jaw came back into normal shapeokay, because I, I I don't know
where I heard this, but I heardso handsome I'm like, why would
you like take?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
well, he probably didn't think about the effects
of his face well.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
so I heard that he slipped and fell in his house
and had to get jawreconstruction surgery.
Oh, so that's why it looksinflamed and puffed because they
were doing surgery on that.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Yeah, that stinks.
All right, I think that's goodyeah.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Thanks for coming on here and telling us all your
dirty secrets.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Those are clean secrets.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So don't forget to mind your heart on mondays.
Yeah, um, and you can subscribeif you're watching on youtube.
Um, subscribe so that you getnotifications whenever we post a
new video.
Um, if you're listening, thenleave us a review.
Um, give us five stars becauseyou love this podcast so much.
Um, and if you are interestedin any like kind of free
(39:00):
coaching where we could answeryour questions and go over the
scenario, then you can click thelink um below for that.
Um, that's it.
We will see you next monday.
Oh, and happy almost halloweenoh yeah, happy, almost halloween
.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
How we forget about Halloween.
Yeah, we just jumped right in.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
We didn't yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
So happy Halloween Bye.
Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your
favorite corner of the internetwhere we chat about all things
mental health.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Emily and I'm Trina.
Together, we're like yourreal-life Lorelai and Rory
Gilmore.
Each week, we'll bring you realconversations about the world
of mental health and we willpeel back layers on topics like
anxiety, depression and muchmore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff,
the everyday stuff andeverything in between.
So grab your emotional supportwater bottle I know we have ours
.
Find your comfiest chair orkeep your eyes on the road and
let's get into it.
Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Absolutely.
Join us as we mind our heartsand hopefully make minding yours
a little easier.
Welcome back.
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Emily, welcome back.
Trina, welcome to the Mind yourHeart podcast Today.
I'm so excited.
Yeah, we have our firstofficial guest.
Yay, this guest is the best.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
In the studio as well .
That's the other bright spot ofthis in-person guests?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
yes, which will the guests that we'll have?
So this is the start of kind oflike our guest segment for a
little bit of fall.
Um, so the next like four orfive episodes we'll have some
really awesome people come onand chat with us.
But, um, today our first guestis a very special guest.
He's all right, we love him.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
So much we do love him so much.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
He, yeah, is one of the very best people that I know
.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I mean you could probably guess he's a blessing
and gift to our whole family.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, so we have Jake , my boyfriend, hi, hi, jake, hi
.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
How are you?
I'm doing good.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
How do you feel about that intro?
It's pretty good, okay, thankyou.
We think this is going to be aninteresting interview, because
Jake is normally a man of fewwords.
That is his thing that is true.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
However, lately I have felt, like he's, that
you've definitely been moretalkative.
I even said this at the beachhouse, which is kind of one of
the reasons we even talked aboutdoing this episode.
Yeah, because I was like, wow,jake seems so happy, are things
going good at work?
Like Like he's like so muchmore talkative and like really,
(02:29):
you were really invested in thegames and I don't know, I just
noticed like a brightness.
I mean you always have had such, I mean a great personality and
wonderful, you're wonderful.
But it was like I don't know.
It was as if you were likecompletely awake and just yeah,
but it was like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
It was as if you were like completely awake and just
yeah, like something wasdifferent, yeah, and something
was different.
So that's kind of what we'retalking about today.
So I guess, like our first, ourlead into this would be like,
could you kind of explain, likehow, the difference between what
you were feeling before youtook medication and when you now
(03:10):
are on medication and you'renot in the stage of it being
like you feel like you're goingto throw up?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
all the time, yeah, so the best way that I can like
describe it is like beforemedication I was feeling like
pretty anxious, pretty.
At the time I didn'tnecessarily know that it was
like depression, um.
But being on the other side ofit now I'm like, oh yeah, like I
was depressed, um, and justlike things that would give me
(03:40):
like joy in life or the basicjoys in life didn't um or didn't
as much, because like thingslike doing little things around
the house or like I loveStarbucks, um, shout out
Starbucks um, like that wouldn'teven necessarily bring me as
much joy as it used to um.
(04:01):
But then once I got amedication, it was kind of like
a new whole perspective, likeyou were kind of saying, like it
felt like my mind was unlockedin a way.
Um, like there was just a senseof clarity that after the
negative side effects, yeah,because that was for like well,
a couple weeks, I think likethree or four I don't think,
(04:22):
because it was when I was onhalf and then on the full.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I think it was like two Well.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I mean he, he probably knows how we felt, yeah
.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I know, but I mean, he was also like really good at
communicating it.
So but yeah, either way.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
It was a rough transitionary period but I stuck
it out.
You were very encouraging withthat and knowing that, like you
had been through what you hadbeen through trying to find your
medication it was super helpfulto have that modeled yeah, yeah
, I think, and I so I guess thatlike my question would be also
like, what made you be like,yeah, now I'm gonna start
(05:01):
medication?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
because before you took medication, like I had
definitely encouraged you tolike see a psychiatrist and see
what they even said, like abouttaking medication, um, prior to
you doing that.
So, and for a little while Ifeel like that was something I
was like, oh, maybe like youshould try and see what happens.
So, like, what was the thing?
(05:23):
Or can you even pinpoint thething that was like okay, yeah,
like I'm gonna do that, yeah um,like at first I I was.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
I think what I was outwardly showing was like oh,
it's too expensive.
I can't we can't afford that.
Um, like I know how much likemeds can cost and like I know I
know like from your experience,like oh, you had you had a
psychiatrist, it was over ahundred dollars and I was like I
can't do that on a regularbasis.
But I think what, what thatreally was, was kind of like a
(05:55):
masking of fear of something newand not necessarily knowing
what that would do Not for likethe negative side effects, but I
think like changing mepersonally.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You feel like it's going tomake you a different version of
yourself.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
And I've heard stories of like oh, people feel
like zombies, yeah, which iswhen people are overmedicated.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah, so um, that that can happen, but then you
know that that's too much of amedication.
It should never like can changeyour personality.
It should never like changeyour personality.
It should like enhance how youfeel, but not be.
You're not a completelydifferent person?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Right yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
You feel?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
like a better version of yourself, for sure Not a
non-version of yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah, yeah.
And that's definitely like whatI feel now.
But I think that was like a bigthing for having a fear of
doing it.
Um, but I think also it kind oflike me, like my, my mental
state kind of got to the pointwhere I was like I don't really
know what else to do.
Um, like you had even said,like you seem like depressed or
(06:58):
like down or like unhappy.
Um, and I was like, yeah, likeI, I do feel that way and like
what's the harm?
Like I'm still under 26, so I'mstill on my dad's plan.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
So shout out, dad yeah, shout out Tony, which is
actually a really good thingthat we have in America,
honestly like that's a we shouldyeah, yeah, I mean why not?
Yeah, be on, you know, be ableto be on somebody's plan.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Yeah, and so having that monetary cost, I was like
covered.
I was like well, you got nomore excuses, but then also like
just your encouragement of Ithink you could really benefit
from this.
And I just went online while Iwas at work, um, and just looked
up psychiatrists in Tampa orBranson or whatever, and then I
(07:45):
found one on telehealth and shewas super cool.
The way I could describe it islike she was like big sister
vibes, and so it was like I feltvery comfortable and she was
like we'll just start you onsomething small, but it was
really good.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, it was definitely like, and I think and
you can tell me if you agreewith this or not but I think,
like almost having my like kindof shitty experiences with
psychiatrists, I was also likeokay, this is what you're going
to look for of, if this isworking or if it's not.
And I remember, like you, afteryour first appointment, you were
(08:19):
like yeah, like that was reallygood, and she like wants to
start slow and like she alsowants to incorporate like
different, like eating habits tobe better my sleep, and I'm
like good, I'm like perfect,check, check, check, like then,
like she knows what she's doing.
Basically, because it's likeyou have to vet the person.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You definitely do.
It makes all the difference,even, like I mean for me as well
.
And also also I say, the numberone thing is actually finding a
psychiatrist and not a generalpractitioner I don't think
general practitioners have anybusiness prescribing these kinds
of medications, and it happensall the time that's crazy, it's
crazy.
And actually in canada, wherethey have you know um health
(08:59):
care, like really good healthcare, they they have to go to a
general practitioner.
They can't go to a psychiatrist, isn't that really yeah?
I think that's upsetting Um sothey're just very much about
like the general practitioner,like is the one that's in
control.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Are they trained?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
differently?
No, they're not.
They need to go topsychiatrists.
They just don't have access topsychiatrists like we do.
So it is, it is really crazywhen you think that you know
they're so much more advanced inthis area.
They're not.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Is there more of like a controlled substance issue in
Canada?
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Um, it's just that I mean, I really feel strongly
about this because I've had anOBGYN tried to prescribe these
kinds of things to me.
I have had a generalpractitioner and they just don't
know what they're doing.
The psychiatrist is an expert.
They understand, especiallyones that specialize in
medication and how it impactsyour brain and how it works in
your brain and all those things,and that's really important.
(09:55):
And if you find someone that youfeel uncomfortable like when
Jackson went to two differentpsychiatrists to deal with his
ADHD, the first psychiatrist waslike was like so adamantly
opposed to certain kinds ofmedication and and so it was
like what?
Like he wasn't even and to havelike such a narrow focus from
(10:15):
the get go, you really wantsomeone that's open minded about
different things, and so Ithink that's great that you
found I've had some good luckand some not so good luck, and
when I found a psychiatrist thatI had for years and years, I
loved her, she was wonderful andshe it made all the difference.
Yeah, um, and I was able tobounce things off of her and
also for for you and I like bar.
(10:37):
The way that our bodiesmetabolize certain medications,
like I kept running into thisisn't working anymore.
Not to try something else, andit was a big.
You just need someone that'svery patient and willing to
figure it out, and I thinkthat's so important.
And then I had kind of a Idon't want to say lazy, but like
a.
It was fine if I was justmaintaining, but if I needed any
(10:58):
adjustment he wasn't my guy.
Now I again finally feel like Iam with someone that will make
sure that I am getting what Ineed.
I think one thing that I waswondering if this is true for
you, jake the minute it startedreally kicking in, which was not
too long it was prettyrelatively short I was.
(11:19):
I felt like I wished I had donethis sooner, because it was
like you don't even realize thatyou're walking around with a
little bit of like a dark cloudover your head until you're like
holy crap, I can see Like thisis.
So I feel so much better.
That's how I feel so muchbetter.
(11:39):
And even when things stopworking sometimes for me and I
have to make adjustments, theway that my depression comes out
is anger and I'll all of asudden be like really pissed off
at things and I'm like, why amI so mad?
Like the lady that cut me offin traffic is the worst thing
ever.
And I'm like something's goingon Like I'm really mad about
(12:00):
things I don't need to be so madabout.
And again, the minute it'sadjusted, I'm like whoa, this is
.
It feels so much better, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Yeah Well, funny story the first time that I ever
felt any like reaction to it,or like the first night I took
it.
It was a full dose and I waslike I looked at Emily, I was
like I feel like funny it.
It felt like I was like tipsyand like high and just like
wonky I was, like I just feel sosilly yeah like that's like,
(12:33):
that's like the best way I couldput it as like I just felt
silly, um, and she was like,well, it's okay, like she was
very patient and very kind andvery nurturing um, and then so
she's like you could just godown to half.
Yeah, no, it was huge, becauseI was like I feel strange um, oh
, he was like.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I feel like my whole body is vibrating yeah like all
the time and I was like okay,well, like you're it's, you're
putting something foreign yeah,like here's your brain chemicals
yeah, adjusted, and I'm like so, like it's, that's not like a
shock.
I'm like, do you feel like okayenough to like that?
We can just monitor it likewhere are you at with that?
(13:08):
And so then we started kind ofcoming up with a way to like
scale, like where you were at onlike the yeah danger level yeah
yeah, I never felt like I wasreally like in danger.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yeah, it was just because, like I knew we're in a
safe space, like with you andall of that um.
But the first clarity, the bestway I can describe like the
biggest change frompre-medication to
post-medication is just clarityyeah um, I think the first time
you could correct me if I'mwrong, because I feel like I
told you um is we were in astaff meeting and I had been
(13:42):
called on for something.
It wasn't like an aggressive or.
I got you called on, brian.
The lead pastor was kind oflike Jake, how do you feel about
this?
Or whatever, and I likeresponded and I didn't feel any
anxiety.
Yes, in the past it was kind oflike I would get called on and
like my hand would start toshake.
Like my voice would tremble andthings of that nature.
(14:04):
But then I like didn't get theshakes at all and then more and
more stuff, things like thathappened.
Then I was like it was justthat clarity and that peace of
those interactions was justreally nice.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Did you feel like when you were like younger,
where that didn't bother you somuch and you were easy going
when you got called on?
Or have you always had a littlebit of a feeling of anxiety
about it?
Speaker 3 (14:29):
I wouldn't say that like my sorry.
I would say that my anxietystarted kind of when I began
like my adult life.
Okay, when I was younger Iwould I don't necessarily
remember being anxious in schoolOkay, like I wouldn't get
nervous or called on or whateverum, but I think I was also like
(14:49):
comfortable in that spacebecause I was very like smart
and like school came very easyto me.
So I felt very comfortable, um,but I'd say it was really more
just in my adult life.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I was just wondering that because I wonder how much
like hormones and things play animpact on that.
The reason I say that?
Because that story just wonderhow much like hormones and
things play an impact on that.
The reason I say that becausethat story just reminded me of,
like when I was younger, likewhen I was in high school and
things like that.
I felt the same way, likeconfident.
I don't remember feelinganxious.
I know there were certainthings that I look back on and
I'm like that was definitelyanxiety that I don't like,
(15:23):
didn't know about at the timebut whoops, but I um should I
make sure?
it's still recording um justpull the cord, oh yeah, okay,
cool, leave it on the ground fornow.
(15:44):
Um, okay.
So I remember feeling likereally confident and very like I
had a lot of friends and like Iwas in a bunch of clubs and
those you know, vice president,all these, whatever and so I
felt I was in student council.
I I totally felt comfortabletalking about how I felt about
things.
I've always been veryopinionated, so I like share
things, like I feel like thisand and I always felt completely
(16:08):
fine.
But as I got older, like in mylater 20s, I started like
getting more like insecure, likenot feeling as confident about
and wanting to say things, butbut like feeling this, like I
would be in a group of peopleand this was like teaching and I
actually felt like I knew a lotabout teaching and I would feel
(16:32):
like, oh gosh, and I didn'tknow that was anxiety, like I
had no idea that was anxiety.
But then when I started takingthe medication, I was like I
felt like myself again.
I was like, oh, I havesomething to say about that and
it would pipe up and not feellike scared or whatever.
So I just remember feeling likethis was me, like this was the
(16:53):
real me.
Like this is, this is how I was,and then I somehow wasn't Does
that make sense.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah, at Centerpoint where I work they.
There's been differentscenarios that have come up um
where I've kind of had to be ina more speaking position or
things like that, um, andthey've dubbed it Lexapro Jake,
um, and just because it's likekind of like me out of like my
outer shell, or cause I was veryquiet, reserved, um, things of
(17:22):
that.
I keep saying things of thatnature.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Um, I have not even noticed that you've said yeah,
me either all right so you'reonly paying attention to it all
right, sounds good.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Um, but they they dubbed it alexa pro jake, which
is very.
I think it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm glad that you think that's
funny, because some people might, you know, be like well, but
there there definitely is adifference to you and it does
feel like a more confident I'mnot afraid to say what I think
kind of a and also just happier.
Yeah, you just seem happier,yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I feel like was it my mom who also said that, or
maybe it was Nicole.
Nicole is the you talked aboutNicole, um, but she was saying
like you just seem like brighter, yeah, and we did like a staff
Olympics where I kind of had tolead and speak and all of that.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Well, you like put the whole thing, you and Grace
put the whole thing together.
Yeah, so sorry, keep going.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
No, you're good, but I had to speak in front of like
basically all of our staff fortwo hours and like there was
like like anxiety there, but itwasn't like a crippling anxiety
that.
I had it was kind of like a.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
There's just that self-awareness of I'm anxious,
but I'm not gonna let it controlme and that's definitely
something that the medicationhas helped me have that clarity
again yeah, and even like afterthey did the staff Olympics,
like multiple people came to meand they were like Jake did so
good, like he was like justtalking to all of us.
(18:50):
We all had such a good time,like he was really able to like
lead it and like just make usall laugh, like he's so funny
and I'm like, yeah, I know he isfunny, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And that comes out more as well, like your
personality comes out more,which is nice.
I think that's.
I think that's so.
I think that's really great,jake, and also like figuring it
out so young, I mean.
I feel like this went on for along time for me before I
figured out that I needed anykind of.
But you know, some people maybe thinking like you know, why
(19:24):
go to medication as the first,like first line of defense, but
you're you're doing more thanmedication, like you're also
talking talking to someone too.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Right.
Well, so the the psychiatristthat I see there is a little bit
like of therapy in there, um,but the way that she describes
it is like a I believe it's atable or a chair, whereas like
medication is like one leg.
But, then there's other thingsthat make it up to.
So you have that stability.
Yeah, and at first I was like Ijust need to get need to get the
(19:54):
medication now, because that'swhen I was having the negative
side effects, yeah.
But now it's like, ok, you needto work on drinking more water,
eating more, eating three meals, getting good rest and going to
bed on time, things like that.
But it's been really, reallylife-changing just having that
(20:17):
and I think, the reason why Iwas able to do it.
So it's going to soundself-gratifying, but faithfully,
because I know people try andthen they're like, no, I don't
want to do it anymore.
The side effects are too much.
It's because, like you modeledit, um, just cause, like you
went through so many and so manyand like you just kept going
through and like tryingsomething else, like we're going
to figure it out, we're goingto figure it out.
And then also, like when I washaving the negative side effects
(20:38):
, it wasn't like and I wasn'tlike you should eat something.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Like not like you need to have three meals, like
she said.
Um, it was kind of just likeI'm gonna meet you where you are
and then we'll figure it outtogether.
Oh, that's nice yeah, I mean,like I know how like rough it
was when, like I was trying tofigure it out and I also like I
feel like I can now.
When you were starting stuff, Iwas like I can see this from,
yeah, like a 50 foot viewinstead yeah, and so like when
(21:11):
you were like I'm not hungry,like I'm not gonna eat.
I'm like I remember feeling sonauseous that, like you, don't
want to eat anything.
But I'm like I also rememberwhen I had at least something
like plain and small, it makesyou feel better.
Yeah and so I'm like I likeunderstand what you're feeling,
but I'm like I'm telling youlike just eat like one piece of
bread yeah, like just somethingso that way, like you don't keep
(21:34):
feeling like this, um.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
So yeah, I'm yeah, and some of those symptoms are
those side effects I should saysymptoms the side effects get
better Because, like, I have amedication that makes me kind of
I take it at night because ofthe.
It also makes me tired.
So I'm like, and it normallytypically is given in the
daytime but I'm like, well, Ican't because it's making me so
(22:00):
tired.
So it actually helps me go tosleep and it makes me a little
bit nauseous if I haven't eatenlike hours before that.
But when I do, then it's fine.
I don't feel that way.
But I think you know somethings you have to decide.
Is this better, like, obviously, if you're not eating and
you're, you know that's nothealthy.
(22:21):
you need to eat and then for me,like one of the medications,
like it affects your metabolismand makes it go down to nothing,
and when you're past menopause,like that can be an issue for
you.
I'm like, well, great, now I'vegained weight and so, and you
don't.
It's like what do you want tofocus on?
Like now, that makes medepressed.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah.
So, there's things likeanything because, it was like
you just felt like kind of sick,like everything that you ate
like just didn't taste goodbecause you felt nauseous.
But I was like okay, so likewhy don't we just say that like
(23:01):
you're gonna try this for onemore week and if you still feel
completely miserable and at thesame level, yeah then like you
can call your psychiatrist andyou'll try something else.
Yeah, and I'm like, but if youfeel better in a couple of days,
then like let's give it acouple more days and just see,
like giving yourself the chanceto see if it'll change, and also
(23:22):
like being like, okay, if itdoesn't, I'm allowed to like do
something, stop yeah, like Idon't have to keep feeling like
this either like it doesn't haveto be hit tails or a horn like
it can be I get to pick one goodoption and not have the rest.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
So, yeah, it definitely tapered, thankfully.
Yeah, that's good.
And then it respawned back upwhen I went back to the full
dose, but that didn't last aslong as the first initial point.
Yeah, and so I was like thankgosh.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
And you kind of have the tools to do that too.
At that point you were likeokay, I know what to expect and
I know like how I can.
Yeah, pb and j, that was likeall you ate for like a couple of
weeks.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Man, I need that.
I want that medication where Idon't want to eat and all I eat
is me.
Yeah, I was like that's all Iwant.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
That's all that sounds good right now yeah,
that's funny.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
Um, but any other side effects?
Speaker 3 (24:15):
I mean, it was mostly just like GI stuff, Um, but
nothing really like anythingelse that I've like.
That's been noticeable.
Um, there's only negative ones,but there have been positive
ones.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, oh good, okay, yeah, yeah, I'm.
I'm curious what you would sayto someone who is like like if
you were talking to like Jakepre-medication and like you now
were talking to him then and hewas like I don't want to be on
medication, like I don't think,like I can do that, it's too
(24:48):
expensive, I don't want this.
I don't want what would youlike say to him, knowing what
you know now, this.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
I don't.
What would you like say to him,knowing what you know?
Now I think I would say like Ifeel, like I would go specific,
but I don't necessarily thinkthat would benefit the listener.
Um, so I'll go a little moregeneral um you can be specific
okay, um, so apply this to yourareas, um, but I think, for like
moments where I really feltanxiety of like in staff
meetings or ideation meetings,it was like the way that you
(25:19):
feel like everyone's justlooking at you, the way that you
think everyone just likeanalyzing you.
Like that goes away.
There's going to be some trialsin the yeah, but it's gonna
stop.
Um, there will be, you will.
You will see some shortcomings,um and like your different
(25:41):
aspects of your life, but youwill have the clarity and the
focus to be able to improve uponthem.
Um, to have that retrospectionis a retrospective thoughts.
It's really helpful and so likejust just try it, take a leap,
find people around you that willhelp you and you'll be OK yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
And what do you say to people that they're scared of
side effects?
or they're scared of.
They're scared of side effectsor they're scared of, I mean,
and a lot, of, a lot of times,like the most common ones that
people worry about you know, arelike not eating, or some people
worry about gaining weight,some people worry about sex
drive decreasing, like that.
(26:28):
I know that's a big one thatpeople say they're so concerned
about the symptoms that theythey're so concerned about the
symptoms that they are willingnot to try because they are so
worried about that.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
I mean, I think for the symptoms issue, you can
figure out which medication isright.
I was very lucky when it waslike a first try.
That works.
It works good, no symptoms.
That was very great.
But even even if that thosesymptoms didn't subside, I think
I would have still continued,just because, like I knew what
it could do, I knew the thepositive benefits of what was
(27:10):
possible, and so I think, likeyou can keep the negative
symptoms in mind but you can'tlet them rule your decision, and
I know that's very easy to saynow that I'm on this side of
medication but just stay strongon that, like the right
medication, the right I don'twanna say concoction but the
(27:33):
right build of meds is out thereone way or the other.
Um, and so finding a goodpsychiatrist and all of that and
that support system is huge.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
You can do it definitely having like a support
system with it too but yeah, Ithink sometimes that's like the
drawback for some people asthey're like well, I don't know,
like I can't do it, like bymyself, and like I understand
that, because I think like it'slike if, if you're not in the
place, like you were, where it'sjust like kind of like a, you
(28:04):
try the first one and it it doeswork, and you're more on this
end of it where you try, yeah,all of them.
15 20, yeah, um then then youneed someone to be like okay.
Well, like is, what is yourpsychiatrist saying?
Like, what are they doing tosupport you?
Are you also doing this?
Like how can I help?
(28:25):
Like and finding the person isalso hard, and I've told this to
many of my friends, Like whenthey talk about, like thinking
about getting medication.
I'm like, if the finding of thepsychiatrist is the part that's
holding you back, like let mehelp you.
Like I will like give me yourinsurance information and tell
me, like your radius of whereyou want them to be and or if
(28:48):
you want them online, and likewe can look together, like find
someone who will do that withyou and who, like knows what to
look for, Because I'm like Iremember when I was first trying
to find like a goodpsychiatrist and it's so
overwhelming, Like there's justbecause you already feel
depressed and anxious.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And so everything feels like a lot of work, and
that's actually one of thesymptoms of depression.
Yeah, it feels so I can't.
I can't figure it out.
I can't take the time to figureit out because I am so
exhausted and everything feelsso hard like you can't even
really get out of bed, so howare you gonna?
Speaker 1 (29:25):
like open your computer and start researching,
like doctors in your area.
So like find somebody who likefor, like I feel like I'm feel
like I'm that friend, like forpeople.
I'm like if you need me to dothat, like I will find them and
I will go as far as making anappointment and giving them your
number to call for the rest ofthe information.
But I'm like it's there, youcan.
(29:48):
You can always put hurdles,yeah, put hurdles, yeah, in
front of you.
But to me, and especially likewhere I was like at an extreme
and you were getting to a pointwhere you were like really
unhappy, it's like the choice islike you can ask for somebody
to assist you and then like notfeel like this anymore or you're
(30:11):
just gonna keep spending yourlife like like kind of miserable
, yeah.
And it doesn't have to be thatway.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Yeah, it doesn't so that's kind of where I'm like
you like just ask someone tohelp you.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Like that sounds hard and it's not like a just simple
thing, but like message someone, call someone, talk to someone
that, like you trust, is likeyour friend, your friend, your
parent, your brother, yoursister, whatever, and just ask
them like can you help me findsome people?
And like ask them to call themand give the office your number
and then they'll call you thatmakes it, it takes something off
(30:46):
of you.
Yeah, like just taking it likethose steps at a time and then
letting somebody help you islike like you don't have to stay
here.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
No, yeah, and that's the thing that I think all of us
would agree on Like it feels somuch better being on the other
side.
It is such a significantdifference that it feels worth
whatever you have to do to getto that because it just feels so
much better.
Yeah, so I think that that'sreally important.
Also, when you said that aboutthe table and being like you
(31:16):
know, eating and food and dietbeing an impact, you know, and
then medication, but also likecounseling, I mean you, you two,
are going to couples counselingcorrect yeah so like having
that part as well, like when Ifirst started medication I, that
wasn't the first thing I tried,like I actually tried
counseling and um, and so Ithink some of those parts can be
(31:40):
very helpful as well.
But that doesn't you know, thatdoesn't fix everything Sometimes
.
Sometimes there's like anactual chemical issue, an
imbalance or whatever in yourbrain and you need, you know,
you need, for me, I it.
When I first started taking itit was like a felt, like a
stigma.
At least now it feels less inthe world.
But I mean, this was you knowmy gosh.
(32:03):
How long has it been?
I mean, I guess around theamount of time that you, maybe a
little less, but like at least20 years or so.
But but my initial goal waslike I don't want to be on
medication for the rest of mylife and, and so we were like
that's not the goal.
The goal is to like get youstabilized and then we'll go
take it from there.
And um, I mean, it ended upthrough trial and error being
(32:27):
that, no, you do have to takemedication for the rest of your
life.
It's like having to takeinsulin for the rest of your
life, um, because I have a lowserotonin level.
It's not anything that I can doanything about yeah, besides
what I'm doing, yeah, so, um, Imean an exercise and things like
that are important.
Yes, I'm doing those things, soit you know, but that's okay,
(32:48):
it's like, but it's like comingto terms with that as well, like
I don't.
To me now that sounds so likewhy was I ever worried about
that?
Speaker 1 (32:55):
but I know that some people feel that way, so and
also like sometimes that's notthe case, like sometimes you
don't need to know you don't onmedication forever, and
sometimes it is like.
I kind of reset you and you'relike okay, I can wean off, I'm
done and yeah yeah, and it'salso like I think there's
different circumstances of likeit being like more seasonal or
(33:16):
like you know, just like seewhere it goes, because like at
least you'll get to the point ofbeing in the mindset to
(33:39):
actually make that decision in arational manner.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's a good point and that's one of the
things that, like mypsychiatrist had said.
She was like the goal right now, with the information that I
have it was our first meeting orsession.
She was like the goal is tokeep is to have you on
medication for six months to ayear, let your brain catch up to
the serotonin levels orwhatever chemicals she had
(34:02):
mentioned, um, to see if we canget it, get it up to that like
resting rate and then we weanyou off and if you need more
time, if you need less time,great, no problem.
But she was very clear and Idefinitely appreciated, like her
clarity and all that.
So I was like, oh, she's notjust trying to prescribe me
something and move on.
It was like, oh, she actuallycares about my longevity and
what works best for one personmight not work for the other,
(34:24):
and so I really appreciated thatwith with those sessions.
Yeah, for sure that's good, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Well, that was good.
Yeah, that was very helpful.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Yeah, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Jake All right, well, I think that was good.
Yeah, that was very helpful.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Yeah, thank you, jake .
Thank you.
Are we going to do somelightning round questions?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Oh yeah, yes, okay, let's see.
Do you want to help me pick?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Well, I can't see.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Okay.
Oh Well, you have your glassesAll right.
Oh, I'm going to do this one.
Okay, what is your favoritejunk food?
Speaker 3 (34:57):
You're asking me.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, we're asking you.
Who else are we asking?
Oh, each other.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Um, my favorite junk food is McDonald's.
Okay, that's my guilty pleasure.
Huh, I don't know why.
I think it's the salt.
I do know why it's the salt.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, that's funny.
The salt.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
Speaker 3 (35:21):
So I feel like we asked each other this when we
first started dating.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
I don't remember what you said.
Do you remember what I said?
No, Okay, because I'm like Idon't remember us asking that.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
So the question that I always thought that I would
want to ask him and I feel likeI almost started crying a little
bit when you asked me the firsttime we were doing these- Was
this when we were like at camp?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I think, so I feel like we were like in a workroom
cabin.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
So the question that I would ask him was like did I
make you proud?
And and like things of thatnature.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Oh, I do remember us talking about this.
We also talked about thisrecently.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
He says yes, yeah.
Yeah, um, absolutely, you makehim proud Um invisibility or
super strength, strength, Iagree with that.
Oh, interesting, I would.
Yeah, wait, there's another one.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Your first celebrity crush.
So this is a way back movieKangaroo Jack.
I don't even know that it's anolder movie, but I remember it
was the female lead in thatmovie or whatever.
I remember we had this big, bigTV.
It was like one of those boxTVs and I would watch the movie
(36:33):
and I would pause it.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Oh my goodness, Just on it, and I was like oh yes in
kangaroo jack.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Kangaroo jack was it the person that played jesse?
I have no idea.
I don't even remember thepremise of the movie.
Was it her sure?
I just remember like pausingthe tv and just like being
enamored that is so funny.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Who was your first celebrity crush?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
mine.
Yeah, um, it might have beenzach efron.
It honestly might have beenzach efron yeah, that's funny,
troy bolton yeah, yeah it was.
It was probably zach efron, Ithought like I thought he was
like going to be my boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Rob Lowe, rob Lowe, for sure, all day.
Rob Lowe, I mean not now HughJackman.
But, Rob Lowe is still verygood looking, as he's gotten
older.
He's also yeah, he's very goodlooking.
But, it was definitely Rob Lowein St Elmo's Fire.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Yeah, zac Efron's not my celebrity crush anymore,
yeah, but I, yeah, zac Efron'snot my celebrity crush anymore,
yeah, but I, I like him.
I think he's a good person, butI also am like he is like, so,
like jacked, yeah, well, Ithought he did that for a movie,
yeah, and so he had to like beon like different.
I think he was like tookmedications and stuff to like be
(37:53):
like that took steroids yeah,and so like he just doesn't look
like him no, is he not like?
Speaker 2 (37:59):
is that not I?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
don't know, I haven't seen him, I'm pretty sure his
jaw came back into normal shapeokay, because I, I I don't know
where I heard this, but I heardso handsome I'm like, why would
you like take?
Speaker 2 (38:09):
well, he probably didn't think about the effects
of his face well.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
so I heard that he slipped and fell in his house
and had to get jawreconstruction surgery.
Oh, so that's why it looksinflamed and puffed because they
were doing surgery on that.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Yeah, that stinks.
All right, I think that's goodyeah.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Thanks for coming on here and telling us all your
dirty secrets.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Those are clean secrets.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So don't forget to mind your heart on mondays.
Yeah, um, and you can subscribeif you're watching on youtube.
Um, subscribe so that you getnotifications whenever we post a
new video.
Um, if you're listening, thenleave us a review.
Um, give us five stars becauseyou love this podcast so much.
Um, and if you are interestedin any like kind of free
(39:00):
coaching where we could answeryour questions and go over the
scenario, then you can click thelink um below for that.
Um, that's it.
We will see you next monday.
Oh, and happy almost halloweenoh yeah, happy, almost halloween
.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
How we forget about Halloween.
Yeah, we just jumped right in.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
We didn't yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
So happy Halloween Bye.
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