June 16, 2025 • 42 mins
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Ever feel like the universe is trying to slow you down by any means necessary? That's exactly what happened when Emily traveled to Peru for what was meant to be a rejuvenating retreat but turned into an unexpected journey of physical limitations, emotional revelations, and reluctant self-care.
At nearly 12,000 feet elevation (double that of Colorado!), Emily's body quickly made it clear that she wasn't in Florida anymore. Despite faithfully attending Pilates three times weekly at home, Emily found herself struggling to breathe after the simplest walks. The shame and frustration of being physically limited despite her preparation became her first teacher – forcing her to confront expectations she'd placed on herself and her body. When retreat leader Jaden found Emily in tears, her gentle reminder that "the whole reason we're here is to hold space for what you need" became permission Emily didn't know she needed.
Between the stunning vistas of Machu Picchu, textile-making demonstrations with all-natural materials, and cultural ceremonies that left Emily speechless, Peru itself became a profound teacher. The locals' reverence for Pachamama (Mother Earth) and their understanding that honoring the earth means honoring ourselves challenged Emily's perspectives on our relationship with nature. Even as she struggled with the intensive schedule that left little downtime between experiences, these cultural immersions provided moments of pure magic that transcended Emily's physical discomfort.
Coming home should have meant rest, but instead brought illness followed by a back injury – forcing the slow-down Emily had been resisting. As wedding planning intensifies and life's demands continue to multiply, this Peru experience serves as a powerful reminder that sometimes our greatest growth happens when we surrender to our limitations rather than fighting against them. What parts of your life might be asking you to slow down and honor what your body and spirit truly need?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your
favorite corner of the internetwhere we chat about all things
mental health.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Emily and I'm Trina.
Together, we're like yourreal-life Lorelai and Rory
Gilmore.
Each week, we'll bring you realconversations about the world
of mental health and we willpeel back layers on topics like
anxiety, depression and muchmore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff,
the everyday stuff andeverything in between.
So grab your emotional supportwater bottle I know we have ours
.
Find your comfiest chair orkeep your eyes on the road and
let's get into it.
Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Absolutely.
Join us as we mind our heartsand hopefully make minding yours
a little easier.
Welcome back, welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I almost introduced myself, but I guess we don't
really need to do that becauseof our actual intro.
Then it's just kind ofredundant.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, unless people skip their intro.
Do you ever skip the intro?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
of podcasts?
Yeah, but once I've alreadyheard it.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
If.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm like listening to a brand new podcast I normally
don't skip the intro.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah, me either.
I don't even actually normallyskip it.
I skip the yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I normally well also like the podcasts that I listen
to have very short intros, soit's like five seconds long and
I'm like all right.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That was a waste if.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I skipped it.
Anyway, you get too far, okayyeah.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
This episode is not about intros.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah, we're just kind of having like a catch-up
episode.
I recently went on a trip toperu, um, for a retreat, so
we're gonna talk a little bitabout that, um and just life,
and you know, you have a newpuppy, basically so I do not.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I do not have a new puppy.
I have ayear-old son who cameback from his job that he was
supposed to have over the summerand he brought a puppy and it
is not my puppy, it is his puppy.
I may be acting like it's mypuppy right now because I'm
taking care of it a lot, butthat's because I think the dog
(02:22):
needs to be fed and actuallyneeds to go to the bathroom on a
regular basis and so, but yeah,hopefully by the time this
episode comes out, jackson willhave a job and we will be on a
good schedule with the puppy.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, yeah, a good schedule with the puppy.
Yeah, also, I think, can welike say the name of this puppy,
because I think it's justreally funny sure okay, well,
the puppy's name birthcertificate is black air force
one.
Drayless, right, yeah, yeah,right, but not drayless, like
(03:15):
how we actually spell our lastname.
Drayless like d-r-e.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Like dray less, less black air force one.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Drayless is the puppy's full name, and if that
doesn't scream I was, oh, I wasadopted by a college.
Yeah, boy, then I don't knowwhat does yeah, to be honest so
yeah he's a cute little puppy.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Um, like jackson said , he was a black lab, but he's a
mix.
And I, we, actually, I,actually my neighbors moved
recently, which has beenheartbreaking, but, um, oh, matt
and shirley.
But matt and dave shout outmatt and shirley yeah shout out
to matt and shirley um, oh man,anyway.
(04:03):
So matt came, they moved.
So matt and daisy, their dogkobe's love, came over the other
day just to you know, say hiand I wanted him to meet one and
um, and I forgot where I wasgoing with this uh, and that he
thinks that he's mixed.
Oh yeah, he thinks he's mixedwith a pit bull.
(04:26):
I was like no.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Well, not only does she have a puppy, but a lab pit
bull.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I think he and I was like I think he's right,
because I knew his face.
The shape of his face and hisears looked familiar, but I
couldn't.
He's really cute though.
He is cute and he's very sweet.
He's a very sweet, loving dog,and that's one thing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Matt said that pit bulls get a bad rap, for sure,
but that if they're raised withlove, yeah, I mean that's like
really like any dog yeah, I meanlike any dog like could be
raised to be an aggressive, meandog, but like if you raise them
properly then, yeah, they'll begood.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Wow, I know the guy Well.
I, you know I always getPitbull and Rottweiler confused.
Are Rottweilers also get a badname?
Mm-hmm?
Yeah, okay, because I think thetrainer that I use his like
workout stuff, daniel fromIreland, has Dougal his
(05:41):
Rottweiler, and he's so sweetand he's like and he's just the
sweetest dog and he's so sweetand he's just the sweetest dog.
He's so sweet.
He looks like a killer but he'sso sweet.
So, yeah, hopefully Juan willbe the same way.
So, anyway, that has been holycow, it's been a journey, and
Jackson didn't even tell me itwas like 21-hour notice.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
So he's on for the summer, if you missed that
portion of it.
So you have a I don't know whatis a step-nephew dog, I don't
know.
Grandson yeah, I guess a granddog.
Grand dog yeah, another grandyeah, I guess a grand dog, grand
dog yeah, another grand dog,that's a grand dog.
(06:27):
You have to train and feed andwalk.
So yeah, that's update numberone.
Yeah, is there anything elsethat's been new?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
No, going to Ireland and London and Paris.
Yeah, that's in July.
So we will likely have, likemost not not have new episodes
in July.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
We might do some reruns, but I knew you were
going to say that.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, Before we filmed this episode, we decided
that we would take a break, butin my mind I was like she's
gonna post some reruns.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I don't know, maybe I won't, maybe we'll just find
them, I don't know, we'll see.
Yeah, make sure you follow, andthen you'll know.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah um, I think that's it.
Update wise, other than, likeme, talking about per right yeah
, I think so.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I don't have anything else.
Oh, your wedding dress is here.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Oh, yeah, my wedding dress is here.
Um, you're gonna go pick it up.
It's, it's ready early, likethey had originally.
Well, to you it's ready on time.
But, um, in the text that theyhad sent me, when, like I, we
originally, we originally boughtit, they were like it'll be
ready like July and or August,like within that time frame, and
(08:00):
it is June.
And they were like your dressis ready to be picked up.
Oh, also, we had thisconversation yesterday but I had
said like where am I gonna keepit?
And um, and I was like, well,like it's gonna be in a garment
bag, like I can just keep it inlike my closet, because Jake and
(08:21):
I have separate closets, um,and it's not like he's like
going into like my closet on thereg, like I mean, like we have,
like we keep our towels andsheets and stuff in there, but
like it's yeah, anyways.
And so I'm like telling him orI'm telling his mom this last
(08:42):
night about like my dress nowwe're going to pick it up and
whatever.
And he was like I would preferthat you don't keep it at the
house.
And I was like what?
Like he is?
So, for context, jake is soadamant that he like doesn't
want to know a single thingabout anything that like I'm
(09:02):
wearing what it's going to looklike he won't even let me show
him pictures of what I didn'tpick Like.
He's like I want to becompletely surprised.
And da, da, da, and I'm likeokay.
So in my head I'm like, oh yeah,I'll just keep it in the
garment bag in the closet.
Like he's not going to want tolook, like he's not even letting
me show him pictures of thedresses that I didn't even end
(09:23):
up getting.
And he was like yeah, like I'dprefer you don't keep it at the
house.
And I was like what?
So I'll probably keep it atCarrie's house because I don't
want to give it to you with apuppy for the summer.
That stresses me out a littlebit.
So but she was like yeah, youcan keep it here.
(09:44):
And I was like all right, butthat's just like another thing.
I'm like, damn it, Jake, youdon't have any self-control.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I know that's great and I feel bad that I can't keep
it because of yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
It's okay.
Yeah, it's not that big of adeal, but anyways, we're going
to pick that up today.
I have to like retry it on andobviously it's not like the
final whatever.
Like it'll probably needalterations and stuff.
But, um, yeah, that's anotherupdate with wedding stuff.
(10:22):
Um, honestly, like sometimes,well, last night we had a
meeting with our wedding plannerand wedding planning is just
like a lot.
It's just so much.
It's a lot of work.
Like, even if you have awedding planner, like it's still
a lot.
It's a lot of decisions.
(10:42):
It's a lot of like thinkingabout very expensive things.
It's just yeah, it's a lot.
And sometimes I'm overwhelmedwith it.
Like there are some times whereI'm like I kind of just like
(11:05):
want things to be decided andthat just to be it, like I'm
like whatever I don't care, likejust pick, pick it.
So that's been a little.
I think that's been tough andthis is where I'll.
I'll ease this into peru.
Like since I got back from peru, um, I have been sick and then
I injured my back, um, so it wasjust kind of like back-to-back
(11:27):
things that made me tired, um,and I think what, what is this?
It's been now two weeks thatI've been back.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
It feels like I don't feel like a long time
everything feels so long, itfeels like the transition home
was infinite.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Um, but because, like , I am still like a little bit
tired from that.
Like when we had the weddingplanning meeting, I was like, oh
, I told our wedding planner.
I was like she was like how areyou?
And I'm like like I'm fine.
Um, and jake had a really,really, really busy week at work
(12:07):
this week.
So, um, sometimes, like whenand I I'm sure other like brides
or people who have been marriedcan understand that like it's
like just because you'replanning a wedding, life does
not stop.
Oh yeah, no.
Like you're planning a weddingand all the other things are
(12:27):
happening too, so um, and that'sno, it's time.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
It's like so consuming, it's all consuming.
I mean, I didn't have a weddingplanner, I did, I had to do it
myself.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Well, I think I would go absolutely insane if we
didn't have lindsey.
Like I would, I would be havingmental breakdowns at least once
a week.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, I don't, I didn't really feel like that.
I mean Nanny was a massive help, so yeah, I mean massive, and
also like she had.
She was an events coordinatorand stuff like that, so she knew
what she was doing and so itwas.
Yeah, I mean it was stressful.
(13:13):
I mean I remember I got pinkeye.
So I got pink eye, yeah, rightbefore our wedding and I had to
leave school.
It was my first year of schoolof teaching.
I had to leave school, go to myfriend the eye doctor and
because I was so stressed out,he told me to put one drop every
(13:33):
four hours and I was like fourdrops every hour, okay, got it,
yeah.
And so he called me on mywedding day and I'm like I can
like taste like the steroid inthe back of my mouth and he's
like, how much are you puttingin there?
And I told him and he's like, ohmy gosh, you got to come to the
(13:53):
office.
I got to meet you in the officeright now.
We got to make sure you haven'tlike damaged your retina.
And I was like, are you serious?
And he's like yes.
So I was like a little bit of ahormone rage on top of it.
I remember when we drove, likeafter our, our wedding, we drove
to biloxi, mississippi, and wewent to new orleans.
(14:14):
I literally just climbed in theback seat and went to sleep
because I was so, because it wasmy first year teaching, which
is yeah and planning a wedding.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
It was yeah, well, even like I mean, lindsey like
told us last, last night,because we were talking about
like the hotel, like room blocksand stuff.
She was like the day, like onSunday, like neither of you are
going to leave the hotel room,like you're going to sleep all
day long, and I was like, yeah,I mean like that sounds about
(14:45):
right.
And she was like no, no, no,like you're going to be really
tired, like you're gonna bereally tired, like you're
basically gonna have like asocial hangover.
Um, so like I can't imaginehaving pink eye and have just
starting one of the moststressful jobs you could start.
Yeah, like I would also beclimbing into the back of the
car and falling right asleep.
(15:07):
So, yeah, but Peru wasdefinitely like such an
interesting experience and likeit is so hard to like formulate
words for like retreats, I guessis like how I can put that?
(15:28):
Because, like when I went toBali, like I came home and I was
like I don't even know how tolike put words that like give
this experience justice.
Like it was like I wanted toexplain it to everyone, but like
I also didn't, because I wantedto like keep the sacredness of
that experience like to myselfalmost, um, and when I came back
(15:53):
from Peru, like I haven'treally told anyone like the
details of things yet and likeit's been a couple of weeks, and
I'm like I think like there's apart of me that was definitely
like processing like what hadhappened and all the emotions
that came along with it, becauseit was definitely like a roller
coaster of emotions, um, butit's just so hard to explain,
(16:16):
and the women that also werethere on the retreat with me
have said the same thing.
They're like it's.
It's one of those things thatit's like hard to put it into
words, because like's such anexperience that like, when
you're there, like you're,you're, you're in it, you're
you're everything like aboutyour being, is there in it and
(16:39):
invested.
And then, like when you leave,it's like a, it's a feeling.
It's not necessarily like alike oh, we did this, like yeah,
we did do these things, butlike it's hard to explain and
it's like even me explainingthis right now like probably
doesn't make a lot of sense, butlike it's just one of those
things that it's like wordsalmost can't.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
no yeah, it must be a experience that you, it is
really hard to to know.
And even I'm listening and I'mlike, well, I, you know mine and
and and tulum.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'm like, yeah, it's hard to just describe it or
explain yeah, yeah, um, but mytravel, at least getting there,
was much better than it wasgoing to bali.
Um, when I but I will say like,when I went to bali, the travel
(17:35):
was like 35 hours or something,like crazy like that.
And um, to peru, it wasn'tnearly that long, like, the
total flight time was like sevenhours, I think.
Um, the travel time was morethan that because it was like I,
ow tebow, she just bit me,sorry that's obstructed me.
(18:08):
That was like such a hard bite.
Yeah, wow, I don't want you onhere.
No, no, what was I saying?
Oh, I like went, it was likeTampa to Miami and then Miami to
(18:30):
Lima, and I had like a six hourlayover in Lima, miami to Lima,
and I had like a six hourlayover in Lima.
And something that I did notexpect, um and like, just like,
wasn't completely prepared for,was the fact that, like in Peru,
like they don't speak anyEnglish, like there is no
English speakers and Limaairport is an international
airport.
So, to me, like I was, because,like, even when I went, when I
(18:53):
went to Bali, like in Qatar,like they spoke English, like
they spoke English and then theyspoke other languages as well,
and I was just a little bitthrown off by that.
Like I definitely understand, Iwas in a different country and
their first language is notenglish, so like I didn't expect
them to like greet me inenglish, but like I did think
(19:17):
that there would be some someonethere that would be able to
help people.
Like we're a whole plane fullof people from america are like
you know what I mean.
Like, so that was definitelyshocking.
Like when I landed, all thesigns were.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Well, I wonder if that is always that way, or if
it's that way right now becauseother countries are like you
know what.
We're not going to go out ofour way for another plane full
of Americans.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean like the airport itselflike has no signs in English,
like not even like the exit signor bathroom or whatever.
Like it's, it's all in Spanish.
Um, and like, thankfully, mythree years of Spanish in high
school, I know like the verybare minimum of Spanish, but it
(20:06):
and like my Google Translatewasn't working and my flights
there were red-eye flights, soit was like I was tired and I'm
like hablas ingles, Like just atall, like I don't know where to
go, like I just didn't knowwhere to go, so it was like it
was like instantly, like you'relike in Peru.
(20:29):
And another thing that was likephysically tough was the
altitude, and it was just likenot something at all that I was
prepared for.
We live in Florida, so ouraltitude is like basically zero.
It's like 30 feet, I think,where I am, and in Cusco the
(20:52):
altitude is like almost 12,000feet, which, for perspective,
that's like basically doubleColorado, which I got sick.
Yeah, which is already high.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
So, um.
I think altitude sickness sucks.
It's really tough and I alsolike I think altitude sickness
sucks.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
It's really tough and I also like didn't know, like I
just wasn't educated on likealtitude stuff, like I had no
idea.
Um, and so I got there and thefirst day we were there like I
came a day early and so did likea couple of the other women
that were at the retreat, and solike we all traveled from Cusco
airport to the retreat centertogether so that way we could
(21:33):
split like the ride, um, andwhen we got to the retreat
center, we're like, okay, we'regonna go down to this little
cafe that's like down themountain, like because, like, to
get to the retreat center, youhave to like go up these like
dirt roads and winding, and likeyou're literally going up a
mountain, and um, so we wentdown to the cafe and then when
(21:54):
we walked back up, it's like a10-15 minute walk, like nothing
crazy, yeah, but we're walkingback up this mountain and I am
like I can't breathe yeah, I amlike, and in my head I'm like
okay, like I know, I'm not like.
I'm not no olympic athlete likeI am not like in the best shape
(22:18):
ever, but I also like go topilates at least three times a
week, like I walk the dogfrequently, like I shouldn't be
like this out of shape.
Yeah, and I am like.
I said that to them and I waslike I don't.
Am I crazy?
Like am I really just?
Am I just mistaken?
How?
out of shape I am and they'relike well, it probably is the
(22:40):
altitude, and I was like oh mygod, like I didn't.
I didn't even think about that.
Yeah, they're like did youbring altitude medication?
I'm like didn't even know thatexisted.
So no, I did not.
And that was day one.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Did anyone have that medication?
No, no one had that.
I didn't even know there was amedication.
I didn't either.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah, and I'm like that would have been really good
to know beforehand.
But then, like I also got areally bad migraine the first
day because, when I, cuscoairport is like the size of my
thumb, like it's so small, solike it's not like there's
places to like buy stuff.
(23:18):
But I was like, oh, I can get abottle of water when I get
there, and you're not supposedto drink the water in Peru.
So I'm like I'm not going tolike yeah, like I couldn't fill
my water bottle.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
but my water was in the um in that part of the world
?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
I don't know, and so I'm like.
I didn't know that our drivefrom the airport to the retreat
center was going to be two hours, and so I have just a little
bit of water left in my waterbottle.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Oh, that's not good.
You're supposed to be superhydrated, so I was really
struggling.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm like please just get to the retreat.
And then our driver kept beinglike oh like, let me show you
this.
And I'm like so beautiful, butI'm like really need some water
and um like it was so pretty,but I'm like, please don't stop
anymore, because like, if westop I'm gonna pass out yeah
like so it.
It was like the first day wasjust like tough.
(24:12):
And then I then it was like thefirst day of the actual retreat
it was just like back-to-backstuff.
And then the second day I wasjust so tired like I felt like I
had been hit by a bus and, um,the people that ran the retreat
I, they're the same people Iwent to Bali with.
(24:34):
They're like just, they've beenon the podcast.
Caroline and Jaden are justlike the most incredible women,
like I love them.
They're amazing and I talked tothem and I was like I don't
know what to do, like I am sostressed out, like I am tired
(24:54):
and like I cannot imaginegetting up at 6 30 and doing
yoga and then like going to.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
It was like a sweat lodge, like they had this like
oh yeah, we did that in Tulum.
I loved that though.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
That was so cool, but not when you have altitude,
sickness no.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
And I'm on the schedule and then like a
workshop and like just things Imean like that you do at a
retreat, and I like messaged himand I was like I don't know
what to do, Like I need to sleep, Like I don't want to miss this
(25:36):
, but I also like am going tomiss it even if I'm there, Like
because I am so out of it.
And Jaden came to my room and Ijust started crying.
I was like I also was likereally homesick, Like right away
when I got there I just likemissed Jake right away.
(25:56):
I was like I want to be home onmy bed.
Like there was just things thatlike I didn't expect that like I
initially like were out of mycomfort zone, but like that I
just like didn't expect thatwould be out of my comfort zone.
Like there was a lot of thingsI was doing out of my comfort
zone already, but like Iinitially lot of things I was
doing on my comfort zone already, but like I initially thought
like I was going to have toshare a bathroom and I had like
(26:18):
picked and paid for a privateroom and that didn't end up
being the case, but my bathroomwasn't in my room, it was like
in a hallway that I shared, likethis kind of house, with other
people.
There wasn't like airconditioning, it was just like
the air that was there.
Um, thankfully the weather wasso beautiful so that wasn't an
(26:42):
issue, but like initially, whenI got there, I'm like sweating,
dehydrated and I paid for airconditioning in tulum.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I would pay for it.
I was like, are you serious?
But I was like, absolutely,because I'm so hot.
And yeah, it's just as hot asflorida.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
So I'm like, yeah, it was not as hot as florida, it
was really really nice.
And like it got cold at night,so like we just shut the doors
during the day and I liketrapped the cold air, so what.
That wasn't.
That didn't end up being anissue, it just was something I
initially was like oh, yeah,yeah and so, anyways, jayden
came to my room and I startedcrying and I'm like I don't.
(27:20):
I was like I respect both ofyou so much like the work that
jayden and caroline had putabsolutely anything that they do
.
I'm like I know is a gift andlike I want to be here for that,
but I'm like I don't think Ican do it today.
Like, and she was like that'sokay, Like part of this retreat,
(27:41):
like, is that you can honor?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Honoring yeah, honoring yourself for sure, and
I'm glad that they made that anoption and that they didn't give
you a hard time about it Notthat I think that Teresa would
have given me a hard time aboutit, but it definitely I think
she would have been disappointed.
And your retreat was alsoshorter and it was a much
(28:04):
smaller, probably, group.
Yeah, so that it would bedifferent.
It would be different, but itis interesting how well part of
it for me was getting out of mycomfort zone and having to
follow a schedule that someoneknew about, that I didn't know
about, and like releasingcontrol, which was challenging,
but I'm glad I did.
(28:24):
Yeah, but it was a challengingthing.
That just, I'm sorry, you know.
Also, you made me think when youwere saying that I think like
the year or however many monthsup to your wedding is like
you're excited but it is sostressful, especially when
you're like talking aboutfinances and talking about plans
(28:46):
and talking about and all thesethings.
It's stressful and so sometimesyou don't even realize how
stressful.
I remember they took made me goon a, like a.
Uh, I think it was like readinga reading conference before I
was.
Yeah, I'd be like like a coupleweeks before my wedding and I
(29:07):
remember sitting there and likefeeling like I was going to go
out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
And this little girl start.
They had a little girl sing asong about we are the children
to a bunch of teachers and Istarted to start bawling.
I'm just sitting there bawlingand I was like hyperventilating
because I was.
It's just everything.
It's stressed out Like my firstyear teaching, getting married,
everything felt so.
So I can imagine like that isalso at play too, and the
(29:37):
altitude.
Like I got sick in Colorado andI had to drive back down a
little ways because I was like Ineed to take a break.
That actually helped massively.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
There was nowhere to take a break is the other thing.
Is that like where we were inthe retreat center was lower
than Cusco, like where we flewinto, wow, not by much, by like
maybe a thousand feet, but like.
So there was no going down.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
No, yeah, no, it's like Denver and Colorado was
like flat, and then I drove toColorado Springs so I could come
back a little bit and it waslike you were just so yeah, it
was tough and like they, butthey were really good about it,
like they.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Like Caroline ended up like bringing me like
breakfast that morning like tomy room and she like sat down
and she was like, how are youdoing?
And I started crying again.
I like kind of gave her likethe same like explanation.
She was like the whole reasonwe're here is to like hold space
for like what all of you needLike, and if that's rest, then
(30:43):
like you need to take rest and Idefinitely have like a hard
time like letting myself restwithout guilt.
So that was it was a practicefor me in doing that and it was
that was tough that day becauseI I like really wanted to be a
part of things, but I also likeknew that that like is not what
(31:06):
I was able to do that day.
Um, but the next day we ended upgoing to the salt mines and
like we visited um likebasically like make textiles and
um stuff like that and um itwas so cool, it was really cool.
But um where one of the placesthat we visit, like we went to
(31:30):
like where they make textilesand they showed us like how they
naturally make stuff like it'slike from alpaca fur and then
like the dyes are all from likeplants like that.
Um, and after that we went tolike this area, like where the
like Inca like culture used tolike have like agriculture and
(31:51):
stuff like that, and so likewe're looking at that, but to
get there like it's a hike upthis mountain and, um, I'm like
in my head I'm like okay, like Irested, like I should be like
good to go, and I'm like goingup this mountain I'm like I
can't catch my breath.
Like I can't catch my breath,like I and I think there was
(32:12):
just like a point, like in thebeginning, specifically, that I
was just really hard on myselfbecause I was like I want to be
able to like do these things sobadly and I had felt like I had
prepared myself more than I didlast time because, like I have
been so, like I have been proudof myself, of how much like I
(32:32):
have moved my body and likehonored like what I needed with
movement and like eating betterand all that kind of stuff.
So like when I'm like there andI'm like I'm the last one
walking up the hill, likefeeling like I can't catch my
breath, like that feelsembarrassing and it also like is
like what the hell?
(32:52):
Like I did all this work andlike I don't understand and
they're one of the Like,accepting yourself.
Oh yeah, you, you are no matterwhat is hard.
Yeah, yeah, it was hard.
And one of the women that wasthere her name was Darcy.
She was like my angel that day,like she like slowed down with
(33:17):
me.
She was probably your age, likeshe's probably in like that
realm, because there was threewomen that were like like it was
like jayden's mom was there andthen two of jayden's mom's
friends and darcy was one ofthem and she was like like okay,
like you need to like breathein twice and then breathe out.
Like she's like guiding methrough breathing and like yeah,
(33:39):
and she was like we don't haveto go until you catch your
breath, like we can walk up alittle bit later than everyone
else, and like she was also likeneeding to catch her breath and
abby was with me, um, and shealso was like she was carsick.
So she was carsick and she wasstruggling too.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
so it was like the three of us were just like
that's something probably tokeep in mind when they tell
people what you need to bring,like for sure, like, uh, this is
gonna be an altitude adjustmentfor for some people, like just
know yeah, yeah, and so likethat day it was like tough.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
And then we went to another place and it was we were
like walking up these stairsand I was like if we gotta walk
back up these stairs to comeback, then like I'm just gonna
stay right here.
Yeah, like I can't keep going.
Thankfully we did not.
The van met us back like at thetop of where we had walked to.
(34:39):
But, yeah, that day was day,was like great, it was so cool.
We like ended up like eating atlike this, like community's like
house, like they had like madeus lunch.
It was delicious, it was sogood.
Um, and they like greeted uswith like like a flower necklace
and like they were all dancingand playing like instruments and
(35:00):
like we got there and we're alllike holding hands and it was
really cool, um, cool, and likethe culture of peru was really
neat and peru itself is stunning, it's beautiful and the people
there care so deeply about theearth and like what the earth
(35:21):
provides for us and like I thinkthat's just, like, oh just so
good, it's so good to be aroundlike, because like they.
So the whole the retreat wasthey care about people, they
care about the earth, they careabout yeah, that's what you said
, and that is oh so refreshingyeah, like the retreat center
(35:42):
was beautiful, like there wasflowers and just greenery and
everything all around but, um,like, the name of the retreat
was syncing with Pachamama,which, like Pachamama, is mother
earth, and um, and so, like,our guides would just like
constantly talk about like howimportant it is for like, even
like our generation, to like seethe importance of Pachamama and
(36:06):
like what she gives to us andlike how, like, we need to honor
her, to honor ourselves, andlike that was really cool to
like also hear like men talkinglike that about like how
important it is for is for likewomen and men to understand that
.
So, um, and then we went tomachu picchu, which was so cool,
(36:29):
like it was like, oh, like justbreathtaking, like holy crap,
like it was massive andbeautiful.
I felt like I was in a movie,like looking out, like the
mountains were like the tops ofit was covered by clouds, and
like I'm like I was in a movie,like looking out like the
mountains were like the tops ofit was covered by clouds, and
like I'm like this is crazy.
Um, that was another day, a lotof hiking upstairs and up
(36:51):
mountains.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
I should have come with you.
This sounds so like up my alley.
Yeah, it was great it was.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
There was a lot of back-to-backness, which was the
thing like, even like in myfeedback form, I was like I
would have liked a little moredowntime, um, which we had in
Bali, which is probably why,like I felt tired coming home
too, because, like, myexpectation was that we were
gonna have a little bit of timeto rest in between.
(37:17):
But it was like thing afterthing after thing after thing,
um, and like I even to go to mymassage, like I had to leave a
workshop early and all thesethings were like scheduled, so
it was like I missed thisworkshop to like go to.
So it was just like some thingslike that.
I was like man, like I wasbummed that I missed those
(37:38):
things, but also that it waslike so back to back.
So, yeah, I was ready to behome.
Um, there we did like a reallybeautiful ceremony.
That was like that was probablymy favorite thing.
That is like the thing I don'tknow how to describe the most,
because it was just like such anintense emotional journey.
Yeah, yeah.
(38:01):
Then, on the way home, like myflight got delayed and I was
stuck in Lima and I couldn'tcall like the airline.
Yeah, because, like it wasgoing to like take like you
can't, it would take minutes orwhatever because I was in Peru
and so I could call Jake becauseI could call him on wi-fi, and
(38:23):
so I called him and I was like Ineed you to call American
Airlines and like figure thisout.
Basically, um, and I didn'tthink I was gonna make my
connecting flight which was likein Miami to Tampa and that was
like my last one.
I was like I just want to behome so bad.
Like I was just ready.
I was tired.
I was ready, like my body waslike I'm giving you all I got
(38:46):
and like we're about to be done.
So um yeah, I did end up makingit, I.
And then the flight of the gayagent was so rude to me, um, on
the way home from like to gofrom Miami to Tampa, which was
like not even a full flight, um,so I was like I don't know what
your problem is, but whatever,um, so, yeah, overall, like it
(39:10):
was like like I would 100% do itover again, but I would prepare
in a much, much different way.
Where do they go next?
They don't know.
They're um, I know like when Italked to caroline like I was
supposed to actually go tomorocco with a friend once I got
(39:30):
home and I was like, no, that'snot happening.
Um, but I told that's caroline.
She was like we're actuallythinking about morocco like as
an option for one of the nextretreats and I was like, oh yeah
, do that because I want to goto Morocco.
So I think that would be cool.
I know they're both doing likeretreats, not like together.
(39:53):
Also, like they're doing somethat are like just for their own
business, and I know Caroline'sthinking about doing one that's
like in japan, which I thinkwould be awesome.
Um, just, yeah, just a bunch ofdifferent cool places.
So, um, I don't know, but alltheir stuff is under worlds
together, um, and like we canlink that um below.
(40:18):
But it was good, it was just,it was just a.
It was good, it was just a lot,it was just a lot of energy.
And then being back home, likeI'm pretty sure I got COVID, to
be honest.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Oh man.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Like I think it was COVID, because it was like that
feeling of like being like weakand achy and like the brain fog
and like feeling like I neededto like sleep constantly and
like my stomach like it was likeall these random things that I
felt like, um, and it was likefor like a solid week and so I
(40:52):
had taken I had worked reallyhard to be able to take this
time off and like I didn'treally feel like I got a lot of
rest in Peru and then I got homeand I had to rest because I was
sick, which like doesn't feellike restful rest.
And then I finally felt betterand I did some landscaping and I
hurt my back and that took likefive days to get better.
(41:14):
Um, so it was just like.
And then, like, we had thewedding planning meeting, like,
and I'm like.
So it was just like, and then,like we had the wedding planning
(41:43):
meeting like, and I'm like I'mtired, like I don't know like
what to tell you, I'm just tired.
So, yeah, it's like I'mgrateful for that experience,
I'm grateful that I am able tobe able to take time off like
that, but I'm like definitelybummed that I didn't get to have
time that was just like restfulrest, yeah, yeah, like that's
the thing I think.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I'm like kind of grieving a little bit, yeah.
So yeah, thank you for sharingthat story.
That's um, that's.
You know, those are the kindsof things that I think help us
grow in different ways, andsometimes in ways that we don't
want to yeah, for sure cool allright all right.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Well, until next time , all right we'll see you in a
couple of weeks.
Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your
favorite corner of the internetwhere we chat about all things
mental health.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Emily and I'm Trina.
Together, we're like yourreal-life Lorelai and Rory
Gilmore.
Each week, we'll bring you realconversations about the world
of mental health and we willpeel back layers on topics like
anxiety, depression and muchmore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff,
the everyday stuff andeverything in between.
So grab your emotional supportwater bottle I know we have ours
.
Find your comfiest chair orkeep your eyes on the road and
let's get into it.
Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Absolutely.
Join us as we mind our heartsand hopefully make minding yours
a little easier.
Welcome back, welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I almost introduced myself, but I guess we don't
really need to do that becauseof our actual intro.
Then it's just kind ofredundant.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Yeah, unless people skip their intro.
Do you ever skip the intro?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
of podcasts?
Yeah, but once I've alreadyheard it.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
If.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm like listening to a brand new podcast I normally
don't skip the intro.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yeah, me either.
I don't even actually normallyskip it.
I skip the yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I normally well also like the podcasts that I listen
to have very short intros, soit's like five seconds long and
I'm like all right.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
That was a waste if.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I skipped it.
Anyway, you get too far, okayyeah.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
This episode is not about intros.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Yeah, we're just kind of having like a catch-up
episode.
I recently went on a trip toperu, um, for a retreat, so
we're gonna talk a little bitabout that, um and just life,
and you know, you have a newpuppy, basically so I do not.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I do not have a new puppy.
I have ayear-old son who cameback from his job that he was
supposed to have over the summerand he brought a puppy and it
is not my puppy, it is his puppy.
I may be acting like it's mypuppy right now because I'm
taking care of it a lot, butthat's because I think the dog
(02:22):
needs to be fed and actuallyneeds to go to the bathroom on a
regular basis and so, but yeah,hopefully by the time this
episode comes out, jackson willhave a job and we will be on a
good schedule with the puppy.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, yeah, a good schedule with the puppy.
Yeah, also, I think, can welike say the name of this puppy,
because I think it's justreally funny sure okay, well,
the puppy's name birthcertificate is black air force
one.
Drayless, right, yeah, yeah,right, but not drayless, like
(03:15):
how we actually spell our lastname.
Drayless like d-r-e.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Like dray less, less black air force one.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Drayless is the puppy's full name, and if that
doesn't scream I was, oh, I wasadopted by a college.
Yeah, boy, then I don't knowwhat does yeah, to be honest so
yeah he's a cute little puppy.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Um, like jackson said , he was a black lab, but he's a
mix.
And I, we, actually, I,actually my neighbors moved
recently, which has beenheartbreaking, but, um, oh, matt
and shirley.
But matt and dave shout outmatt and shirley yeah shout out
to matt and shirley um, oh man,anyway.
(04:03):
So matt came, they moved.
So matt and daisy, their dogkobe's love, came over the other
day just to you know, say hiand I wanted him to meet one and
um, and I forgot where I wasgoing with this uh, and that he
thinks that he's mixed.
Oh yeah, he thinks he's mixedwith a pit bull.
(04:26):
I was like no.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Well, not only does she have a puppy, but a lab pit
bull.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I think he and I was like I think he's right,
because I knew his face.
The shape of his face and hisears looked familiar, but I
couldn't.
He's really cute though.
He is cute and he's very sweet.
He's a very sweet, loving dog,and that's one thing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Matt said that pit bulls get a bad rap, for sure,
but that if they're raised withlove, yeah, I mean that's like
really like any dog yeah, I meanlike any dog like could be
raised to be an aggressive, meandog, but like if you raise them
properly then, yeah, they'll begood.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Wow, I know the guy Well.
I, you know I always getPitbull and Rottweiler confused.
Are Rottweilers also get a badname?
Mm-hmm?
Yeah, okay, because I think thetrainer that I use his like
workout stuff, daniel fromIreland, has Dougal his
(05:41):
Rottweiler, and he's so sweetand he's like and he's just the
sweetest dog and he's so sweetand he's just the sweetest dog.
He's so sweet.
He looks like a killer but he'sso sweet.
So, yeah, hopefully Juan willbe the same way.
So, anyway, that has been holycow, it's been a journey, and
Jackson didn't even tell me itwas like 21-hour notice.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
So he's on for the summer, if you missed that
portion of it.
So you have a I don't know whatis a step-nephew dog, I don't
know.
Grandson yeah, I guess a granddog.
Grand dog yeah, another grandyeah, I guess a grand dog, grand
dog yeah, another grand dog,that's a grand dog.
(06:27):
You have to train and feed andwalk.
So yeah, that's update numberone.
Yeah, is there anything elsethat's been new?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
No, going to Ireland and London and Paris.
Yeah, that's in July.
So we will likely have, likemost not not have new episodes
in July.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
We might do some reruns, but I knew you were
going to say that.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, Before we filmed this episode, we decided
that we would take a break, butin my mind I was like she's
gonna post some reruns.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I don't know, maybe I won't, maybe we'll just find
them, I don't know, we'll see.
Yeah, make sure you follow, andthen you'll know.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah um, I think that's it.
Update wise, other than, likeme, talking about per right yeah
, I think so.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I don't have anything else.
Oh, your wedding dress is here.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Oh, yeah, my wedding dress is here.
Um, you're gonna go pick it up.
It's, it's ready early, likethey had originally.
Well, to you it's ready on time.
But, um, in the text that theyhad sent me, when, like I, we
originally, we originally boughtit, they were like it'll be
ready like July and or August,like within that time frame, and
(08:00):
it is June.
And they were like your dressis ready to be picked up.
Oh, also, we had thisconversation yesterday but I had
said like where am I gonna keepit?
And um, and I was like, well,like it's gonna be in a garment
bag, like I can just keep it inlike my closet, because Jake and
(08:21):
I have separate closets, um,and it's not like he's like
going into like my closet on thereg, like I mean, like we have,
like we keep our towels andsheets and stuff in there, but
like it's yeah, anyways.
And so I'm like telling him orI'm telling his mom this last
(08:42):
night about like my dress nowwe're going to pick it up and
whatever.
And he was like I would preferthat you don't keep it at the
house.
And I was like what?
Like he is?
So, for context, jake is soadamant that he like doesn't
want to know a single thingabout anything that like I'm
(09:02):
wearing what it's going to looklike he won't even let me show
him pictures of what I didn'tpick Like.
He's like I want to becompletely surprised.
And da, da, da, and I'm likeokay.
So in my head I'm like, oh yeah,I'll just keep it in the
garment bag in the closet.
Like he's not going to want tolook, like he's not even letting
me show him pictures of thedresses that I didn't even end
(09:23):
up getting.
And he was like yeah, like I'dprefer you don't keep it at the
house.
And I was like what?
So I'll probably keep it atCarrie's house because I don't
want to give it to you with apuppy for the summer.
That stresses me out a littlebit.
So but she was like yeah, youcan keep it here.
(09:44):
And I was like all right, butthat's just like another thing.
I'm like, damn it, Jake, youdon't have any self-control.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I know that's great and I feel bad that I can't keep
it because of yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
It's okay.
Yeah, it's not that big of adeal, but anyways, we're going
to pick that up today.
I have to like retry it on andobviously it's not like the
final whatever.
Like it'll probably needalterations and stuff.
But, um, yeah, that's anotherupdate with wedding stuff.
(10:22):
Um, honestly, like sometimes,well, last night we had a
meeting with our wedding plannerand wedding planning is just
like a lot.
It's just so much.
It's a lot of work.
Like, even if you have awedding planner, like it's still
a lot.
It's a lot of decisions.
(10:42):
It's a lot of like thinkingabout very expensive things.
It's just yeah, it's a lot.
And sometimes I'm overwhelmedwith it.
Like there are some times whereI'm like I kind of just like
(11:05):
want things to be decided andthat just to be it, like I'm
like whatever I don't care, likejust pick, pick it.
So that's been a little.
I think that's been tough andthis is where I'll.
I'll ease this into peru.
Like since I got back from peru, um, I have been sick and then
I injured my back, um, so it wasjust kind of like back-to-back
(11:27):
things that made me tired, um,and I think what, what is this?
It's been now two weeks thatI've been back.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
It feels like I don't feel like a long time
everything feels so long, itfeels like the transition home
was infinite.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Um, but because, like , I am still like a little bit
tired from that.
Like when we had the weddingplanning meeting, I was like, oh
, I told our wedding planner.
I was like she was like how areyou?
And I'm like like I'm fine.
Um, and jake had a really,really, really busy week at work
(12:07):
this week.
So, um, sometimes, like whenand I I'm sure other like brides
or people who have been marriedcan understand that like it's
like just because you'replanning a wedding, life does
not stop.
Oh yeah, no.
Like you're planning a weddingand all the other things are
(12:27):
happening too, so um, and that'sno, it's time.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
It's like so consuming, it's all consuming.
I mean, I didn't have a weddingplanner, I did, I had to do it
myself.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Well, I think I would go absolutely insane if we
didn't have lindsey.
Like I would, I would be havingmental breakdowns at least once
a week.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, I don't, I didn't really feel like that.
I mean Nanny was a massive help, so yeah, I mean massive, and
also like she had.
She was an events coordinatorand stuff like that, so she knew
what she was doing and so itwas.
Yeah, I mean it was stressful.
(13:13):
I mean I remember I got pinkeye.
So I got pink eye, yeah, rightbefore our wedding and I had to
leave school.
It was my first year of schoolof teaching.
I had to leave school, go to myfriend the eye doctor and
because I was so stressed out,he told me to put one drop every
(13:33):
four hours and I was like fourdrops every hour, okay, got it,
yeah.
And so he called me on mywedding day and I'm like I can
like taste like the steroid inthe back of my mouth and he's
like, how much are you puttingin there?
And I told him and he's like, ohmy gosh, you got to come to the
(13:53):
office.
I got to meet you in the officeright now.
We got to make sure you haven'tlike damaged your retina.
And I was like, are you serious?
And he's like yes.
So I was like a little bit of ahormone rage on top of it.
I remember when we drove, likeafter our, our wedding, we drove
to biloxi, mississippi, and wewent to new orleans.
(14:14):
I literally just climbed in theback seat and went to sleep
because I was so, because it wasmy first year teaching, which
is yeah and planning a wedding.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
It was yeah, well, even like I mean, lindsey like
told us last, last night,because we were talking about
like the hotel, like room blocksand stuff.
She was like the day, like onSunday, like neither of you are
going to leave the hotel room,like you're going to sleep all
day long, and I was like, yeah,I mean like that sounds about
(14:45):
right.
And she was like no, no, no,like you're going to be really
tired, like you're gonna bereally tired, like you're
basically gonna have like asocial hangover.
Um, so like I can't imaginehaving pink eye and have just
starting one of the moststressful jobs you could start.
Yeah, like I would also beclimbing into the back of the
car and falling right asleep.
(15:07):
So, yeah, but Peru wasdefinitely like such an
interesting experience and likeit is so hard to like formulate
words for like retreats, I guessis like how I can put that?
(15:28):
Because, like when I went toBali, like I came home and I was
like I don't even know how tolike put words that like give
this experience justice.
Like it was like I wanted toexplain it to everyone, but like
I also didn't, because I wantedto like keep the sacredness of
that experience like to myselfalmost, um, and when I came back
(15:53):
from Peru, like I haven'treally told anyone like the
details of things yet and likeit's been a couple of weeks, and
I'm like I think like there's apart of me that was definitely
like processing like what hadhappened and all the emotions
that came along with it, becauseit was definitely like a roller
coaster of emotions, um, butit's just so hard to explain,
(16:16):
and the women that also werethere on the retreat with me
have said the same thing.
They're like it's.
It's one of those things thatit's like hard to put it into
words, because like's such anexperience that like, when
you're there, like you're,you're, you're in it, you're
you're everything like aboutyour being, is there in it and
(16:39):
invested.
And then, like when you leave,it's like a, it's a feeling.
It's not necessarily like alike oh, we did this, like yeah,
we did do these things, butlike it's hard to explain and
it's like even me explainingthis right now like probably
doesn't make a lot of sense, butlike it's just one of those
things that it's like wordsalmost can't.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
no yeah, it must be a experience that you, it is
really hard to to know.
And even I'm listening and I'mlike, well, I, you know mine and
and and tulum.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'm like, yeah, it's hard to just describe it or
explain yeah, yeah, um, but mytravel, at least getting there,
was much better than it wasgoing to bali.
Um, when I but I will say like,when I went to bali, the travel
(17:35):
was like 35 hours or something,like crazy like that.
And um, to peru, it wasn'tnearly that long, like, the
total flight time was like sevenhours, I think.
Um, the travel time was morethan that because it was like I,
ow tebow, she just bit me,sorry that's obstructed me.
(18:08):
That was like such a hard bite.
Yeah, wow, I don't want you onhere.
No, no, what was I saying?
Oh, I like went, it was likeTampa to Miami and then Miami to
(18:30):
Lima, and I had like a six hourlayover in Lima, miami to Lima,
and I had like a six hourlayover in Lima.
And something that I did notexpect, um and like, just like,
wasn't completely prepared for,was the fact that, like in Peru,
like they don't speak anyEnglish, like there is no
English speakers and Limaairport is an international
airport.
So, to me, like I was, because,like, even when I went, when I
(18:53):
went to Bali, like in Qatar,like they spoke English, like
they spoke English and then theyspoke other languages as well,
and I was just a little bitthrown off by that.
Like I definitely understand, Iwas in a different country and
their first language is notenglish, so like I didn't expect
them to like greet me inenglish, but like I did think
(19:17):
that there would be some someonethere that would be able to
help people.
Like we're a whole plane fullof people from america are like
you know what I mean.
Like, so that was definitelyshocking.
Like when I landed, all thesigns were.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Well, I wonder if that is always that way, or if
it's that way right now becauseother countries are like you
know what.
We're not going to go out ofour way for another plane full
of Americans.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean like the airport itselflike has no signs in English,
like not even like the exit signor bathroom or whatever.
Like it's, it's all in Spanish.
Um, and like, thankfully, mythree years of Spanish in high
school, I know like the verybare minimum of Spanish, but it
(20:06):
and like my Google Translatewasn't working and my flights
there were red-eye flights, soit was like I was tired and I'm
like hablas ingles, Like just atall, like I don't know where to
go, like I just didn't knowwhere to go, so it was like it
was like instantly, like you'relike in Peru.
(20:29):
And another thing that was likephysically tough was the
altitude, and it was just likenot something at all that I was
prepared for.
We live in Florida, so ouraltitude is like basically zero.
It's like 30 feet, I think,where I am, and in Cusco the
(20:52):
altitude is like almost 12,000feet, which, for perspective,
that's like basically doubleColorado, which I got sick.
Yeah, which is already high.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
So, um.
I think altitude sickness sucks.
It's really tough and I alsolike I think altitude sickness
sucks.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
It's really tough and I also like didn't know, like I
just wasn't educated on likealtitude stuff, like I had no
idea.
Um, and so I got there and thefirst day we were there like I
came a day early and so did likea couple of the other women
that were at the retreat, and solike we all traveled from Cusco
airport to the retreat centertogether so that way we could
(21:33):
split like the ride, um, andwhen we got to the retreat
center, we're like, okay, we'regonna go down to this little
cafe that's like down themountain, like because, like, to
get to the retreat center, youhave to like go up these like
dirt roads and winding, and likeyou're literally going up a
mountain, and um, so we wentdown to the cafe and then when
(21:54):
we walked back up, it's like a10-15 minute walk, like nothing
crazy, yeah, but we're walkingback up this mountain and I am
like I can't breathe yeah, I amlike, and in my head I'm like
okay, like I know, I'm not like.
I'm not no olympic athlete likeI am not like in the best shape
(22:18):
ever, but I also like go topilates at least three times a
week, like I walk the dogfrequently, like I shouldn't be
like this out of shape.
Yeah, and I am like.
I said that to them and I waslike I don't.
Am I crazy?
Like am I really just?
Am I just mistaken?
How?
out of shape I am and they'relike well, it probably is the
(22:40):
altitude, and I was like oh mygod, like I didn't.
I didn't even think about that.
Yeah, they're like did youbring altitude medication?
I'm like didn't even know thatexisted.
So no, I did not.
And that was day one.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Did anyone have that medication?
No, no one had that.
I didn't even know there was amedication.
I didn't either.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah, and I'm like that would have been really good
to know beforehand.
But then, like I also got areally bad migraine the first
day because, when I, cuscoairport is like the size of my
thumb, like it's so small, solike it's not like there's
places to like buy stuff.
(23:18):
But I was like, oh, I can get abottle of water when I get
there, and you're not supposedto drink the water in Peru.
So I'm like I'm not going tolike yeah, like I couldn't fill
my water bottle.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
but my water was in the um in that part of the world
?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
I don't know, and so I'm like.
I didn't know that our drivefrom the airport to the retreat
center was going to be two hours, and so I have just a little
bit of water left in my waterbottle.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Oh, that's not good.
You're supposed to be superhydrated, so I was really
struggling.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm like please just get to the retreat.
And then our driver kept beinglike oh like, let me show you
this.
And I'm like so beautiful, butI'm like really need some water
and um like it was so pretty,but I'm like, please don't stop
anymore, because like, if westop I'm gonna pass out yeah
like so it.
It was like the first day wasjust like tough.
(24:12):
And then I then it was like thefirst day of the actual retreat
it was just like back-to-backstuff.
And then the second day I wasjust so tired like I felt like I
had been hit by a bus and, um,the people that ran the retreat
I, they're the same people Iwent to Bali with.
(24:34):
They're like just, they've beenon the podcast.
Caroline and Jaden are justlike the most incredible women,
like I love them.
They're amazing and I talked tothem and I was like I don't
know what to do, like I am sostressed out, like I am tired
(24:54):
and like I cannot imaginegetting up at 6 30 and doing
yoga and then like going to.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
It was like a sweat lodge, like they had this like
oh yeah, we did that in Tulum.
I loved that though.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
That was so cool, but not when you have altitude,
sickness no.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
And I'm on the schedule and then like a
workshop and like just things Imean like that you do at a
retreat, and I like messaged himand I was like I don't know
what to do, Like I need to sleep, Like I don't want to miss this
(25:36):
, but I also like am going tomiss it even if I'm there, Like
because I am so out of it.
And Jaden came to my room and Ijust started crying.
I was like I also was likereally homesick, Like right away
when I got there I just likemissed Jake right away.
(25:56):
I was like I want to be home onmy bed.
Like there was just things thatlike I didn't expect that like I
initially like were out of mycomfort zone, but like that I
just like didn't expect thatwould be out of my comfort zone.
Like there was a lot of thingsI was doing out of my comfort
zone already, but like Iinitially lot of things I was
doing on my comfort zone already, but like I initially thought
like I was going to have toshare a bathroom and I had like
(26:18):
picked and paid for a privateroom and that didn't end up
being the case, but my bathroomwasn't in my room, it was like
in a hallway that I shared, likethis kind of house, with other
people.
There wasn't like airconditioning, it was just like
the air that was there.
Um, thankfully the weather wasso beautiful so that wasn't an
(26:42):
issue, but like initially, whenI got there, I'm like sweating,
dehydrated and I paid for airconditioning in tulum.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
I would pay for it.
I was like, are you serious?
But I was like, absolutely,because I'm so hot.
And yeah, it's just as hot asflorida.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
So I'm like, yeah, it was not as hot as florida, it
was really really nice.
And like it got cold at night,so like we just shut the doors
during the day and I liketrapped the cold air, so what.
That wasn't.
That didn't end up being anissue, it just was something I
initially was like oh, yeah,yeah and so, anyways, jayden
came to my room and I startedcrying and I'm like I don't.
(27:20):
I was like I respect both ofyou so much like the work that
jayden and caroline had putabsolutely anything that they do
.
I'm like I know is a gift andlike I want to be here for that,
but I'm like I don't think Ican do it today.
Like, and she was like that'sokay, Like part of this retreat,
(27:41):
like, is that you can honor?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Honoring yeah, honoring yourself for sure, and
I'm glad that they made that anoption and that they didn't give
you a hard time about it Notthat I think that Teresa would
have given me a hard time aboutit, but it definitely I think
she would have been disappointed.
And your retreat was alsoshorter and it was a much
(28:04):
smaller, probably, group.
Yeah, so that it would bedifferent.
It would be different, but itis interesting how well part of
it for me was getting out of mycomfort zone and having to
follow a schedule that someoneknew about, that I didn't know
about, and like releasingcontrol, which was challenging,
but I'm glad I did.
(28:24):
Yeah, but it was a challengingthing.
That just, I'm sorry, you know.
Also, you made me think when youwere saying that I think like
the year or however many monthsup to your wedding is like
you're excited but it is sostressful, especially when
you're like talking aboutfinances and talking about plans
(28:46):
and talking about and all thesethings.
It's stressful and so sometimesyou don't even realize how
stressful.
I remember they took made me goon a, like a.
Uh, I think it was like readinga reading conference before I
was.
Yeah, I'd be like like a coupleweeks before my wedding and I
(29:07):
remember sitting there and likefeeling like I was going to go
out of my mind.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
And this little girl start.
They had a little girl sing asong about we are the children
to a bunch of teachers and Istarted to start bawling.
I'm just sitting there bawlingand I was like hyperventilating
because I was.
It's just everything.
It's stressed out Like my firstyear teaching, getting married,
everything felt so.
So I can imagine like that isalso at play too, and the
(29:37):
altitude.
Like I got sick in Colorado andI had to drive back down a
little ways because I was like Ineed to take a break.
That actually helped massively.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
There was nowhere to take a break is the other thing.
Is that like where we were inthe retreat center was lower
than Cusco, like where we flewinto, wow, not by much, by like
maybe a thousand feet, but like.
So there was no going down.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
No, yeah, no, it's like Denver and Colorado was
like flat, and then I drove toColorado Springs so I could come
back a little bit and it waslike you were just so yeah, it
was tough and like they, butthey were really good about it,
like they.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Like Caroline ended up like bringing me like
breakfast that morning like tomy room and she like sat down
and she was like, how are youdoing?
And I started crying again.
I like kind of gave her likethe same like explanation.
She was like the whole reasonwe're here is to like hold space
for like what all of you needLike, and if that's rest, then
(30:43):
like you need to take rest and Idefinitely have like a hard
time like letting myself restwithout guilt.
So that was it was a practicefor me in doing that and it was
that was tough that day becauseI I like really wanted to be a
part of things, but I also likeknew that that like is not what
(31:06):
I was able to do that day.
Um, but the next day we ended upgoing to the salt mines and
like we visited um likebasically like make textiles and
um stuff like that and um itwas so cool, it was really cool.
But um where one of the placesthat we visit, like we went to
(31:30):
like where they make textilesand they showed us like how they
naturally make stuff like it'slike from alpaca fur and then
like the dyes are all from likeplants like that.
Um, and after that we went tolike this area, like where the
like Inca like culture used tolike have like agriculture and
(31:51):
stuff like that, and so likewe're looking at that, but to
get there like it's a hike upthis mountain and, um, I'm like
in my head I'm like okay, like Irested, like I should be like
good to go, and I'm like goingup this mountain I'm like I
can't catch my breath.
Like I can't catch my breath,like I and I think there was
(32:12):
just like a point, like in thebeginning, specifically, that I
was just really hard on myselfbecause I was like I want to be
able to like do these things sobadly and I had felt like I had
prepared myself more than I didlast time because, like I have
been so, like I have been proudof myself, of how much like I
(32:32):
have moved my body and likehonored like what I needed with
movement and like eating betterand all that kind of stuff.
So like when I'm like there andI'm like I'm the last one
walking up the hill, likefeeling like I can't catch my
breath, like that feelsembarrassing and it also like is
like what the hell?
(32:52):
Like I did all this work andlike I don't understand and
they're one of the Like,accepting yourself.
Oh yeah, you, you are no matterwhat is hard.
Yeah, yeah, it was hard.
And one of the women that wasthere her name was Darcy.
She was like my angel that day,like she like slowed down with
(33:17):
me.
She was probably your age, likeshe's probably in like that
realm, because there was threewomen that were like like it was
like jayden's mom was there andthen two of jayden's mom's
friends and darcy was one ofthem and she was like like okay,
like you need to like breathein twice and then breathe out.
Like she's like guiding methrough breathing and like yeah,
(33:39):
and she was like we don't haveto go until you catch your
breath, like we can walk up alittle bit later than everyone
else, and like she was also likeneeding to catch her breath and
abby was with me, um, and shealso was like she was carsick.
So she was carsick and she wasstruggling too.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
so it was like the three of us were just like
that's something probably tokeep in mind when they tell
people what you need to bring,like for sure, like, uh, this is
gonna be an altitude adjustmentfor for some people, like just
know yeah, yeah, and so likethat day it was like tough.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
And then we went to another place and it was we were
like walking up these stairsand I was like if we gotta walk
back up these stairs to comeback, then like I'm just gonna
stay right here.
Yeah, like I can't keep going.
Thankfully we did not.
The van met us back like at thetop of where we had walked to.
(34:39):
But, yeah, that day was day,was like great, it was so cool.
We like ended up like eating atlike this, like community's like
house, like they had like madeus lunch.
It was delicious, it was sogood.
Um, and they like greeted uswith like like a flower necklace
and like they were all dancingand playing like instruments and
(35:00):
like we got there and we're alllike holding hands and it was
really cool, um, cool, and likethe culture of peru was really
neat and peru itself is stunning, it's beautiful and the people
there care so deeply about theearth and like what the earth
(35:21):
provides for us and like I thinkthat's just, like, oh just so
good, it's so good to be aroundlike, because like they.
So the whole the retreat wasthey care about people, they
care about the earth, they careabout yeah, that's what you said
, and that is oh so refreshingyeah, like the retreat center
(35:42):
was beautiful, like there wasflowers and just greenery and
everything all around but, um,like, the name of the retreat
was syncing with Pachamama,which, like Pachamama, is mother
earth, and um, and so, like,our guides would just like
constantly talk about like howimportant it is for like, even
like our generation, to like seethe importance of Pachamama and
(36:06):
like what she gives to us andlike how, like, we need to honor
her, to honor ourselves, andlike that was really cool to
like also hear like men talkinglike that about like how
important it is for is for likewomen and men to understand that
.
So, um, and then we went tomachu picchu, which was so cool,
(36:29):
like it was like, oh, like justbreathtaking, like holy crap,
like it was massive andbeautiful.
I felt like I was in a movie,like looking out, like the
mountains were like the tops ofit was covered by clouds, and
like I'm like I was in a movie,like looking out like the
mountains were like the tops ofit was covered by clouds, and
like I'm like this is crazy.
Um, that was another day, a lotof hiking upstairs and up
(36:51):
mountains.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
I should have come with you.
This sounds so like up my alley.
Yeah, it was great it was.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
There was a lot of back-to-backness, which was the
thing like, even like in myfeedback form, I was like I
would have liked a little moredowntime, um, which we had in
Bali, which is probably why,like I felt tired coming home
too, because, like, myexpectation was that we were
gonna have a little bit of timeto rest in between.
(37:17):
But it was like thing afterthing after thing after thing,
um, and like I even to go to mymassage, like I had to leave a
workshop early and all thesethings were like scheduled, so
it was like I missed thisworkshop to like go to.
So it was just like some thingslike that.
I was like man, like I wasbummed that I missed those
(37:38):
things, but also that it waslike so back to back.
So, yeah, I was ready to behome.
Um, there we did like a reallybeautiful ceremony.
That was like that was probablymy favorite thing.
That is like the thing I don'tknow how to describe the most,
because it was just like such anintense emotional journey.
Yeah, yeah.
(38:01):
Then, on the way home, like myflight got delayed and I was
stuck in Lima and I couldn'tcall like the airline.
Yeah, because, like it wasgoing to like take like you
can't, it would take minutes orwhatever because I was in Peru
and so I could call Jake becauseI could call him on wi-fi, and
(38:23):
so I called him and I was like Ineed you to call American
Airlines and like figure thisout.
Basically, um, and I didn'tthink I was gonna make my
connecting flight which was likein Miami to Tampa and that was
like my last one.
I was like I just want to behome so bad.
Like I was just ready.
I was tired.
I was ready, like my body waslike I'm giving you all I got
(38:46):
and like we're about to be done.
So um yeah, I did end up makingit, I.
And then the flight of the gayagent was so rude to me, um, on
the way home from like to gofrom Miami to Tampa, which was
like not even a full flight, um,so I was like I don't know what
your problem is, but whatever,um, so, yeah, overall, like it
(39:10):
was like like I would 100% do itover again, but I would prepare
in a much, much different way.
Where do they go next?
They don't know.
They're um, I know like when Italked to caroline like I was
supposed to actually go tomorocco with a friend once I got
(39:30):
home and I was like, no, that'snot happening.
Um, but I told that's caroline.
She was like we're actuallythinking about morocco like as
an option for one of the nextretreats and I was like, oh yeah
, do that because I want to goto Morocco.
So I think that would be cool.
I know they're both doing likeretreats, not like together.
(39:53):
Also, like they're doing somethat are like just for their own
business, and I know Caroline'sthinking about doing one that's
like in japan, which I thinkwould be awesome.
Um, just, yeah, just a bunch ofdifferent cool places.
So, um, I don't know, but alltheir stuff is under worlds
together, um, and like we canlink that um below.
(40:18):
But it was good, it was just,it was just a.
It was good, it was just a lot,it was just a lot of energy.
And then being back home, likeI'm pretty sure I got COVID, to
be honest.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Oh man.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Like I think it was COVID, because it was like that
feeling of like being like weakand achy and like the brain fog
and like feeling like I neededto like sleep constantly and
like my stomach like it was likeall these random things that I
felt like, um, and it was likefor like a solid week and so I
(40:52):
had taken I had worked reallyhard to be able to take this
time off and like I didn'treally feel like I got a lot of
rest in Peru and then I got homeand I had to rest because I was
sick, which like doesn't feellike restful rest.
And then I finally felt betterand I did some landscaping and I
hurt my back and that took likefive days to get better.
(41:14):
Um, so it was just like.
And then, like, we had thewedding planning meeting, like,
and I'm like.
So it was just like, and then,like we had the wedding planning
(41:43):
meeting like, and I'm like I'mtired, like I don't know like
what to tell you, I'm just tired.
So, yeah, it's like I'mgrateful for that experience,
I'm grateful that I am able tobe able to take time off like
that, but I'm like definitelybummed that I didn't get to have
time that was just like restfulrest, yeah, yeah, like that's
the thing I think.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
I'm like kind of grieving a little bit, yeah.
So yeah, thank you for sharingthat story.
That's um, that's.
You know, those are the kindsof things that I think help us
grow in different ways, andsometimes in ways that we don't
want to yeah, for sure cool allright all right.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Well, until next time , all right we'll see you in a
couple of weeks.
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