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What happens when two empaths sit down to answer seven deceptively simple questions about their inner lives? The result is a heartfelt exploration of emotional intelligence that might just change how you approach your next meaningful conversation.
In this uniquely personal episode, we dive into a set of questions designed to reveal what's truly in someone's heart and mind. Originally created for parents wanting deeper connections with their children, we discover these questions work brilliantly for any relationship seeking greater understanding. From "What do you think about when you're quiet?" to "What makes your heart feel happy?", each question peels back layers of our emotional landscape.
The conversation takes a particularly moving turn when we both identify as highly sensitive people, sharing stories of being labeled "too emotional" throughout our lives. We reflect on how society's perception of sensitivity is evolving, challenging the harmful notion that emotional awareness is something to overcome rather than embrace. One particularly powerful anecdote involves creating safe spaces for children to experience emotions in a classroom setting, demonstrating how emotional openness can be nurtured from a young age.
Whether you're seeking to understand yourself better or hoping to connect more deeply with someone you love, these seven questions offer a powerful template for meaningful conversation. Try asking them to someone in your life - their answers might surprise you, and the connection you build might be transformative. After all, the quiet spaces between our thoughts often hold the most profound truths about who we really are.
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Episode Transcript
Hey, welcome to Mind your Heart Podcast, your
favorite corner of the internetwhere we chat about all things
mental health.
I'm Emily.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And I'm Trina.
Together, we're like yourreal-life Lorelai and Rory
Gilmore.
Each week, we'll bring you realconversations about the world
of mental health and we willpeel back layers on topics like
anxiety, depression and muchmore.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
We're here to chat with you about the tough stuff,
the everyday stuff andeverything in between.
So grab your emotional supportwater bottle I know we have ours
.
Find your comfiest chair orkeep your eyes on the road and
let's get into it.
Are you ready, mom?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Absolutely.
Join us as we mind our heartsand hopefully make minding yours
a little easier.
Hey, hello, hello.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Oh no, let's not do that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
So today I thought we would do.
I saw this post, I think it wason Instagram.
It was seven questions.
If you want to really knowwhat's on it, does say your
child's mind, Ask them theseseven questions.
But I think it could berelevant for your friend.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Well, I am your child .
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Well, you are my child, but I think it could be
relevant for people inrelationships in general.
So I thought we would do themlike we did.
We've done an episode like thisbefore, but it wasn't these
questions, it was something toget to know, I don't know.
But it was a lot of questions,but this is only seven, so all
(01:37):
right.
So here's the first one.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
So is it like you asking me questions or are you
going?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
to.
I'm going to ask, but I'm goingto answer too, Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, all right.
So what do you think about whenyou're quiet?
That's so hard.
I feel like that's such a hardquestion to answer for me,
specifically because I'mthinking about everything Like
it's not.
It's not, like I'm just likesitting down, like, hmm, I'm
going to think about onesingular thing, like it's like
what are we having for dinner?
Do we need groceries?
Did I clean the bathroom?
Is Daisy clean?
(02:14):
Do I need to give her a bath?
I need to schedule her nailappointment.
Oh, I need to get my nails done.
Did I schedule my nailappointment?
I might be late.
My nail appointment might notbe available.
Do I have that day off?
Is it like that's where my mindis going.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
So every you know that's crazy, cause they, they,
this is the what they, thereason for that question.
It's like this gives you aglimpse into their inner world,
their dreams, their fears andeverything in between.
So that is so.
You've got a lot.
And if people are like I'mconfused, go look back and
listen to the last episode,because we gave an update, so
(02:50):
that will make a lot more sensein that context.
Yeah, it depends for me, like,sometimes my brain is like that
too, but but, honestly, takingmedication for that it helps it,
not do that.
So so it's not always, but itdoes.
(03:11):
It does go like that.
It's like, you know, is that onmy calendar?
I put that on my calendar.
Do I have anything today?
What is my thing that I have todo today?
But when I can actually get itto be quiet, which is usually in
Shavasana after yoga, I am liketrying to practice gratitude,
(03:31):
like I try to be thankful forthe things, that any little
thing that made me feel good forthe day.
And I think about you, I thinkabout Jackson and I think about,
like, what I want for my life,like where do I want to be?
What do I want to be doing Likethose are.
(03:52):
That's the kind of stuff thatcomes into my mind.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
But it's hard for it to get quiet, which is why when
I if they listen to that lastepisode and they'll know that I
went to Ireland, it finally gotquiet and I need to be, which is
probably why I didn't loveLondon and Paris as much,
because I was in a state of mindthat deeply needed like
(04:21):
soul-soothing quiet, like soulsoothing quiet and um, and that
that quiet was like a I would.
I needed it so desperatelybecause everything just feels
like all the time so and beingin nature is is very healing for
me.
Um, okay, so number two, whatmakes your heart feel really
(04:45):
happy?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
um, this is gonna sound cheesy but like just like
knowing that like I get to bewith Jake like forever, and like
just thinking about like howlucky I am to have fallen in
love with someone who is so kindand good and loving and safe,
and like just like my person,just like I don't know, like
(05:11):
that like just makes like myheart happy.
Um, the people around me likethat I love, but also like
sometimes when I think aboutdaisy and tebow, like I love
them so much that my heart likehurts.
I like look at them and I'mlike you can't die, like you
have to live forever because Ijust love them so much.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
But yeah, that's very sweet, yeah, um.
Well, that makes my heart happyhearing that, um, and also
knowing that it's not like Ithink okay, job, my job is done,
goodbye, um, when it comes toyou.
But I do feel like she's, she'sall set, she's good, um, that
(05:57):
that's.
That's a really good feeling.
It's also a weird feeling,because then you're like oh,
what do I do now?
Um?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
well, the job is not done.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
All right um no open applications, still a present
job that is needed, all right,that's good, um, but I think
what makes my heart happy, Imean you guys and you being
happy for sure, and you know,family friends, kobe, travel,
(06:35):
travel definitely makes my hearthappy.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, yeah, kobe.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Kobe.
Kobe definitely makes me happy.
I don't even know what I woulddo without him.
Yeah, being outside moving,moving my body, makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
I don't necessarily love lifting weights.
I do it because I know it'sgood for my bones.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Most importantly for my bones, yeah, and your
metabolism and all that stuff.
But any other kind of moving,like yoga, like all the Peloton,
like that does make me happy.
I do, that does feel good.
When I can help someone, thatmakes me happy too.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Yeah, I agree with that one.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That makes me feel useful, relevant, relevant, yeah
, okay, okay.
This is supposed to help youunderstand what lights them up
and how to bring more of thatinto their life.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh, I would also say, like creative things.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Like doing creative things.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, for both of us.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Yes, all right.
Number three, if everyone couldknow one thing about you, what
would it be?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, um, I think that probably that I'm like
deeply empathetic, like that,like I care, just like really
really intensely and like I feelreally intensely, like I'm
(08:26):
definitely like a highlysensitive person and that like
comes with being like an empathum that I can like feel, like I
can understand energy and likebody language and all of that
like is encompassed in likebeing deeply empathetic.
Like I feel like that'sprobably like the best.
(08:48):
Like if nobody, somebody didn'tknow me at all, and I said that
like that would probably likethe best.
Like if nobody, if somebodydidn't know me at all, and I
said that like that would givethem the most information that
it could give them with only onesentence about me.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, I think that's true.
That's good.
I would say the same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I would say the exact same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, I love that.
It's gotten that people aremore open and honest about it
and also it's not looked at as anegative.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Because when I was growing up, and even when I was
younger, you know, it was likeyou're too sensitive, you're so
sensitive.
Yeah Well, she's reallysensitive and she's very
emotional.
I mean, I actually had somebodytell me once that they weren't
going to pick me for theirchild's teacher because I was
too emotional and they wanted myrecommendation for another
(09:38):
person, oh yeah, and which I waslike I can tell you.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You, all right.
What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
nothing.
Oh, we can finish.
Um, do you want to pause?
No, okay, anyway.
Um, yeah, this has nothing todo with that.
That is not.
Yeah, it has nothing to do withthat.
That doesn't have.
Yeah, it has nothing to do withthat.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Um, yeah, anyway, I was like okay, I actually think
it's okay for kids to seeemotion and that they can learn
so much from it helps them tounderstand how to regulate their
own emotions, because whenyou're that young, you all of
your emotions feel so big yeah,you don't know how to.
(10:31):
I mean like when you're toldyou're too sensitive, then you
think that you shouldn't befeeling.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah, when there's something wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
You're gonna feel them, regardless.
It's just.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
You're just either teaching then you're trying to
hide it or not yeah, and you'retrying to keep it to yourself
and trying to pretend likeyou're somebody else, which I
mean I have done so, yeah,that's not really very fair
either.
I remember in 11th grade wewere watching the science video
and they were talking aboutthese baby seals clubbing these
(11:03):
baby seals, and they wereactually showing it and I was
yeah, I just burst into tearsand I was like I can't watch it.
I was so upset.
I was so upsetting and everyonein the class was like laughing
at me and making fun of me, andit didn't ruin me Like I had a
(11:23):
lot of friends in high school,so luckily it didn't become like
you know what I mean.
Which is dumb, it's dumb, so Icould kind of defend it because
I did have a little more cloutor whatever.
You know what I mean.
Which is dumb, it's dumb, so Icould kind of defend it because
I did have a little more cloutor whatever.
You know what I mean.
It was like whatever.
But I remember feeling like, oh,I can't share that with people,
but it was terrible.
(11:44):
I'm like how are you not crying?
Like, how is everyone in theroom not crying?
Which is one thing that I lovedabout teaching, because I would
share these books, theseemotional books, and I would
just have boys and girls openlycrying in front of me and
feeling emotional and I was like, yes, this is evoking emotion
(12:09):
and, first of all, this is agreat example of writing when it
evokes emotion like this.
And, secondly, it's importantfor us to feel feelings and this
is how we learn to have empathy.
And knowing that, 10 years fromthat moment, that some of those
boys were never going to feellike they could do that again,
(12:31):
and but in that moment theycould.
So, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
So, and this one, I don't remember what that
question was.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
If everyone could know one thing about you, what
would it be?
I know this is supposed to letthem feel seen for who they
really are, beyond what meetsthe eye so that's cool.
Um number four.
What's something you'd love tolearn more about?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
um, I mean the things that I'm trying to learn about,
like for my future, likebusiness and stuff, like I was
thinking that when you, yeah,yeah, like about like the floral
industry, about building abrick and mortar business, about
, um, like those kinds of thingsare things that I would like to
(13:22):
learn about.
Um, I always think, like I'malways wanting to learn about
myself, so that's alwayssomething that I would say too.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would.
I didn't.
That didn't come to my mind,but I do think that's important.
What did come to my mind isinteresting.
It was more about like AI andand how to like, how that looks
for, even for students in thecurrent time and into the future
(13:53):
.
So that sounds like veryfascinating to me.
So, yeah, and that's a powerfulway to spark curiosity and
support their passions.
Nice Number five.
What's something you thinkyou're good at?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Nice Number five.
What's something you thinkyou're good at?
Um, that sounds so egotistical,but I'll be like I'm good at a
lot of things.
Um, I feel like.
Um, I feel like I'm good atmarketing, like I I think I know
like how to do it and I'm goodat it.
(14:31):
Um, I think I'm good at likelike design, like in the whether
it's like has to do with likedesigning a room or designing a
graphic, or like laying out likea photo shoot idea or like
stuff, like design.
Just in general, I think I havelike a good eye for that kind
(14:51):
of stuff.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yeah, I'd probably say that yeah, why say yes, I
agree, it's all that.
Also, you're really good atlistening and giving people
advice.
I think you're really good atthat thank you I think that's
funny that you are like I've gotso many things, and me I'm like
what am I good at Really?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Because I'm like I could think of a lot of things
for you too.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I guess the first thing that comes to my mind is
like getting kids to lovereading and thinking and to feel
better about themselves.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, but that's as far as it really kind of goes oh
, I think, like overarching,like you're good at teaching and
like not just like teachinglike in a classroom, but like
teaching like other people,teaching other business owners,
teaching kids, teaching me,teaching like just like you have
(15:50):
, like a good, like you're.
I don't think like teaching iseasy.
Like I think, in order to be agood, like quality teacher, like
you need a lot of patience andyou need like to be able to have
a willingness to learn yourself, and so I think like teaching
sounds like just like a simpleanswer, but I feel like it's so,
(16:14):
like it's much deeper when itcomes to like how you teach is
like how I wish everybody wouldteach.
Um, so I think that issomething.
Building you're really good atbuilding stuff.
Why are you laughing?
You literally like half of myliving room furniture was built
(16:36):
by you and I get compliments onit all the time.
So stuff like that Like you puttogether a barn door, the
shelves behind you you built,like the ship lab wall is also
from you Like those are thingsthat you're good at.
You're good at caring forpeople and animals I love
(16:59):
animals yeah, me too um well,thank you.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay, so that's supposed to give them a chance
to celebrate their own strengthswithout shame or comparison.
I like that number six.
Is there something new you'dlike to try but haven't yet?
You kind of said, you kind ofalluded to that already yeah,
yeah, like opening a brick andmortar business.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, I haven't done that yet, but I also would say
like, um, in a little bit lessof like a business mindset, I
would like to like visit newplaces, like I would like to
like try different foods indifferent countries and like
meet different people, like thatkind of stuff, like explore
(17:45):
different cultures I like that.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
I'm gonna say that I'm gonna steal that answer okay
definitely, I definitely wantthat, yeah, and maybe even like
physical things, I would saythat maybe there are some
physical things I would like totry that I haven't Like what I
(18:09):
don't know Like, maybe like aTough Mudder or something like
that.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
All right.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I think I'm getting too old.
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I don't think we can be too old.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I mean, I'm not really a runner anymore.
Yeah, Okay, this helps people,our kids or whoever explore
goals, dreams and possibilities.
I would actually like toremodel a house.
That's what I would really liketo do you'd be good at that I
think that would be very fun.
(18:44):
All right, and the last onenumber seven.
What's your favorite memorywith our family?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
um, well, my favorite memory with you would be when
we went to New York like for thefirst time.
I just love that.
Like everything about that wasjust like magic and like special
and exciting and it just likeit was like everything I ever
(19:13):
dreamed of, plus them, and liketo experience like that together
was just like so fun.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Yeah, I love that too .
That's definitely one of myfavorites.
It felt like we were like twogirls living in New York.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Yeah, we got to do like New York, the exact way
that we both wanted to do it,yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, and I didn't feel I also didn't have any.
I didn't have expectations.
It was all about like, what'sgoing to make you happy too,
because I had experienced it.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Yeah, you'd been.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
So it was yeah, I loved it.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Yeah, that was good.
Yeah, Loved it.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Yeah, that was good yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And that was supposed to be, because there are the
moments that shape their heartsand yours too, nice I like those
questions, I know, aren't theygood?
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Yeah, so who posted that?
The positive parenting people?
Cool Shout out Yep, shout outto them.
All right, well, that wraps upanother episode.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
We'll see you in a couple of weeks.
Bye, bye.
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