November 10, 2023 • 29 mins
Message me with questions or comments!
How many things are you doing for your PMDD--to minimize your symptoms and optimize your health--and you STILL feel like you haven't found that sense of stability and flow with your PMDD that you're looking for?
How long is your list of PMDD self-care tasks and you STILL feel exhausted and burned out by the emotional rollercoaster--and vicious cycle--that is PMDD?
How many tools do you have in your PMDD toolbox and you STILL resent PMDD because you feel like it still has the upper hand?
That is exactly how I felt. Until I had a thought:
What if what I'm missing isn't another thing to DO but a different way of BEING?
What if the thing I'm searching for is a MINDSET SHIFT? A new perspective on PMDD. A better relationship with my own PMDD experience.
What if I could find a more sustainable way of living with the difficult thoughts and feelings brought on by PMDD?
In this episode:
- I explain how mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Training have filled in the gap left behind by all the other treatments and self-management tools I've tried and continue to use...and how THAT is when I really started to feel better in my life with PMDD.
- I share how YOU CAN TAKE THAT VERY FIRST STEP toward training your brain to get better at feeling.
- AND I share details of my program, launching early in the New Year:
Live Better with Mindfulness for PMDD
If you want to learn how you can work with me so YOU can start to Live Better with PMDD, click here for more info and to register your interest.
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Thanks for listening! <3
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe.
And if you know someone with PMDD, please share this podcast.
And remember ... Stop. Take a breath. And observe.
xo
Diane
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
If you want to learn how you can live better with
PMDD, this podcast was createdfor you.
This is Mindfulness for PMDDwith Diane.
I'm Diane and I'm a registereddietitian and lactation
consultant.
I'm also a mom, a PMDD warriorand a trauma-informed
mindfulness teacher, and this iswhere I discuss topics related
(00:27):
to PMDD through the lens ofmindfulness and meditation and
where I share all about howmindfulness has gotten me to a
place of greater peace andacceptance with my PMDD.
I also chat with people whohave helped and inspired me
along the way, so they can sharethe wisdom with you too.
So let's get started.
This podcast is not asubstitute for psychological
(00:55):
therapy or medical advice.
Please take care when listeningto this podcast, as some may
find certain words or subjectstriggering or difficult to hear.
Take only what serves you andleave the rest behind.
Hey everyone, oh my gosh, ithas been a crazy few weeks.
(01:16):
First of all, I, a few weeksago, was diagnosed with seizures
, which was quite a surprise.
And yet, on another level, itwas not a surprise at all,
because I have been having theseepisodes my entire 42, very
(01:42):
nearly 43 years.
I just always took them forgranted.
No one in my life really evernoticed them, you know, let
alone expressed concern.
I mean, I don't think anyoneever noticed this was happening
to me, and so I kind of justthought that I was always a very
(02:05):
dizzy, sensitive, feinty kindof a person, and thankfully
recently there was a nurse at adoctor's appointment that I went
to who asked me some questionin when she was taking my
medical history that maybe Ihave never been asked before, or
(02:28):
maybe was asked in a differentway, or maybe it was just her,
you know her energy that led meto share.
But something in that moment ofgiving her my history led me to
mention these episodes.
I've always had as long as Ican remember, and when I saw the
(02:51):
doctor he mentioned that itsounded like I was having.
What did he call it?
There's a name for it that usedto be in use and is no longer
used.
Basically it's like partialseizures or absence seizures,
and so I ended up, you know,seeing a neurologist getting an
(03:13):
EEG and it was confirmed that itwas seizures.
So that was wild, and I've beenon anti seizure medication now
and then also in the last coupleof weeks, my son ended up with
strep, so he was home with mefor a few days home from school
(03:36):
and I was feeling a little bitunwell myself and my son also
recently had a couple of strangeepisodes Also.
We've recently been like justin the last couple of weeks
going through evaluations forhim, trying to suss out whether
it's fainting or seizures.
(03:59):
And then, on top of all that, asI thought we were finally
coming out of all that craziness, the last few days, handful of
days, I've been having somepretty intense symptoms, but the
weird thing is these started onday four.
I'm always feeling really goodby day four, day four, I look
(04:21):
forward to day four, day fourI'm feeling like myself again,
but on day four I had reallycrazy mood swings.
I was feeling irritable andangry and then just really I
don't know if it was likedepressed or just really
frustrated, hopeless, so bad.
(04:42):
And then Yesterday I got oh,there was also like some
dizziness recently and thenyesterday I had a headache that
got so bad and nothing washelping all day, so no amount of
(05:03):
like Advil and water and restand everything, eating something
.
Nothing was helping and bynighttime it felt like I was on
the precipice of a migraine.
Like I have a history ofmigraines and when I get a
migraine.
I start to feel really dizzy,nauseous, I start to feel like I
(05:24):
can't see very clearly, youknow, my vision starts to fade
and I start to feel kind of likeI have like a racing heart.
I start to feel panicky.
And all of that was likestarting to set in and so I just
called it a day by 8.30pm,climbed into bed.
I was like I have to make thisgo away, because sometimes the
only way I can make my migrainesgo away is just by sleeping it
(05:45):
off.
Well, the entire night I wasbeing woken up by head pain and
woke up again this morning withterrible head pain, got my son
off to school.
I had some volunteering I wasdoing in his library at school
this morning, so got all mymorning tasks done and by before
(06:08):
lunchtime I was feeling soincredibly dizzy and nauseous
and had so much horriblepressure in my head and I just
had this feeling like I didn'teven know if I could make it
back home.
That's how badly I was feeling.
And when I got back home itfelt like that urgency to get
(06:34):
into bed and try to rest it off,because I felt like I just felt
so dizzy and so nauseous.
It felt like, oh my God, I'vegot to like park myself
somewhere.
But again I took some Advil anddrank more water and ate a
little something, because any ofthose things might help, or
(06:56):
just the combination of them,and got into bed.
And only now, 2pm on day seven,am I starting to feel okay.
And so it occurred to me onlyjust today, when I was feeling
at the worst of all these weirdsymptoms since day four, only
(07:20):
just today, that it did occur tome that maybe these are side
effects of my anti-seizure meds.
My neurologist did say that inher experience with her patients
they really don't report manyside effects at all, maybe just
(07:43):
a little bit of dizziness, ifanything.
But some half-assed internetresearch told me that it might
be possible that I might beexperiencing side effects of my
drugs.
So I will mention that to myneuro.
(08:05):
But all of which is to say thatit's been a crazy few weeks, and
also it always boggles my mindwhen I'm coming out of the
luteal phase.
I'm expecting to feel betterand then I don't, and I'm always
trying to suss out exactlywhat's going on and it's like of
(08:25):
course there are other thingsin life that can make you feel
poorly, either psychologicallyor physically or cognitively,
but because of PMDD and becausethe luteal phase always comes
back around, right, and becausethat's usually the source of my
(08:46):
not feeling well, it's alwayslike this shock to me when I'm
feeling unwell and it's not theluteal phase.
So, anyhow, that's where I'm attoday, today's seven, finally
feeling good after a crazy fewweeks.
And yeah, let's get into it,because today I want to talk
(09:07):
about the missing piece in yourself-management puzzle.
But first one more thing beforeI get to that, because I am
super excited because my programLive Better with Mindfulness
for PMDD is scheduled to launchearly in the new year and I'm
(09:30):
going to be sharing a little bitabout that at the end of this
episode.
Also, this episode comes with ameditation that will be live
next week.
So normally I post a newepisode every two weeks, but
because I want you to be able toapply today's learnings sooner
rather than later, I'm postingthe meditation for you next week
(09:52):
so you can look out for that.
All right, here we go.
So you've probably heard thesaying that you've survived 100%
of your worst days, right, andwhile that's true, it doesn't
(10:12):
always feel super helpful, atleast not to me.
I think the point is that badthings happen and even though
they suck so far, you've alwaysfound yourself on the other side
.
I just think that for me andanyone with PMDD can probably
(10:33):
relate, I know that thechallenges of PMDD will keep
happening from month to month,likely with varying levels of
intensity, but potentially fortwo whole weeks at a time, while
I may end up on the other sidefeeling like myself again.
(10:53):
In the follicular phase, thereis still perhaps some
destruction that may have comewith past luteal phases and that
may come as a result of futureluteal phases.
But the other day I heard areminder that affirmed for me
(11:14):
the reason I practicemindfulness, and that is that,
while challenging times willkeep coming, our goal is to
better manage those moments.
And that's what mindfulness isabout.
(11:36):
It isn't about never againhaving a big feeling or a
negative thought.
Rather, it's about responding alittle bit differently to these
thoughts and feelings.
Specifically, it's aboutresponding in a kind,
(11:56):
open-hearted, curious andjudgment-free sort of way.
So to put it another way in thewords of Shamash Aladina, the
aim of mindfulness is not tofeel better, but to get better
(12:17):
at feeling.
And if we do feel better as aresult of mindfulness, it's a
really nice, really welcomeadded bonus.
Now, frankly, I think that we dooften feel better and I know
that I do as we start toincorporate mindfulness into our
lives, especially when we do itwithin the framework of
(12:39):
acceptance and commitmenttraining, because of the
spaciousness and newpossibilities that it opens up
in our lives.
But the aim of the practice isto get better at feeling,
because we can't just make ourPMDD disappear Maybe someday,
(13:05):
but not today and we can't makeour brains stop presenting us
with warnings or flaggingthreats or coming up with all
sorts of things to worry aboutor beat ourselves up over.
That's just not how the humanmind works, pmdd or no PMDD.
(13:28):
In fact, negative thoughts andfeelings may just become
stronger and more intense themore we try to fight them or
avoid and distract ourselvesfrom them.
But what we do have controlover is how we respond when
(13:49):
faced with these stressors andchallenges.
And I think that is just soperfect for the PMDD experience,
because even as we do so muchto address our symptoms and I
know, I know that you are doinga ton there will still be times
(14:14):
where we perhaps might have areally tough luteal phase.
Maybe life throws a few extrastressors your way one month or
for several months in a row andthat exacerbates your symptoms.
This is where I really feel themagic of mindfulness and this
(14:35):
is why mindfulness is the anchorof my PMDD management.
Because even when I'm doing allthe things quote, unquote,
right the SSRI, the diet and theexercise and the sleep and the
walking, the cycle, sinking, thesymptom tracking, the knitting
(14:56):
and mindful coloring and justreally being deliberate about my
use of my time and my energy,etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Right, even when I'm doing allthose things, I might still have
a month marked by irritabilityor sadness or anxiety or rage or
(15:17):
overwhelm, and in thoseinstances I still can turn
towards my mindfulness tools tohelp me get through specific
moments and I can turn to therenewed outlook that I've
(15:38):
experienced as a result ofmindfulness to help me live
better with my PMDD.
So when I was doing all thethings, I was finding varying
degrees of PMDD relief, but Istill experienced a feeling of
(16:06):
instability and burnout fromriding an emotional roller
coaster each month and, inaddition, I was feeling
resentful, disappointed and kindof hopeless about those
(16:26):
feelings of instability andburnout.
Right, so it was like all thosethings were helping me to some
extent, but I still felt thisfeeling of like I don't know if
I could do this every month, orlike this is insane.
This is really quite anemotional ride for a person to
(16:48):
have to go on over and over andover.
But when I dove deep intomindfulness, including
acceptance and commitmenttraining, and decided one day I
(17:08):
need a mindset shift and soonafter decided I'm going to lean
into acceptance, I quicklydiscovered a release of tension,
a release of pressure and arelease of all these feelings of
(17:33):
inadequacy and resentment andall the rest.
I stopped adding more things tomy list of things I need to do
every day to minimize mysymptoms and maximize my health,
because I was doing plentyalready and I needed time to
(17:57):
actually do life Right.
I didn't need to keep addingmore tasks to my self-management
list and instead I committedmyself to the brain training I
had started to help myself havea better response to and better
(18:20):
relationship with, theproblematic and really negative
thoughts and feelings caused byPMDD and holy cow.
I almost immediatelyexperienced a sense of
spaciousness and openness and asense of possibility for myself
(18:47):
and my life, where previously Ididn't see the light at the end
of the tunnel and I didn't seethe possibility there for me.
I felt like I could breatheagain, I felt like I could enjoy
life again and I began to feellike myself again.
(19:10):
I think because I freed up somuch time and energy that I had
been spending trying to fight myfeelings and my symptoms and I
could now put that energy intoworking with my PMDD experience.
(19:33):
So it was a time of realizationof maybe it's not that there's
another thing for me to do andanother thing for me to do, and
when I finally find that rightthing to do is when I'm going to
feel better.
Maybe it's not another thing todo, maybe it's a different way
(19:54):
to think, maybe it's a mindsetshift that I need.
And it was also a time of thisfeeling of like, oh gosh, I've
been fighting this thing,haven't I?
I've been fighting PMDD andthat's why I'm so, so exhausted
(20:17):
with it and so burned out andfeel so helpless.
And maybe what I need to do isfigure out how to work with PMDD
alongside it.
Look, it's not that I don'tstill take my meds or talk to my
therapist or take care of mydiet and exercise and sleep,
(20:41):
because I do.
I do all those things, butmindfulness and act have filled
in the gap left behind by thosethings.
Mindfulness and act were themissing puzzle piece I was
looking for all along.
(21:02):
So yeah, the luteal phase willkeep coming along and
challenging moments will keepcoming along, pmdd or not,
because we're human and that'slife.
But what if we looked at eachof those moments as a chance for
us to practice being kinder andgentler to ourselves?
(21:26):
First start, might we possiblyfind some easing of symptoms
over time.
Might we manage big feelings ornegative thoughts with just a
bit more ease the next time, sothat, rather than get hooked by
(21:47):
negative thoughts and beingdragged down a deep dark hole
with them, maybe we canacknowledge their presence and
how they make us feel and thenlet them move on, so that we
don't end up in self-loathingand despair.
(22:11):
And no, we're not perfect, sowe're not through each and every
moment with kindness.
It is real to feel, as mymindfulness instructor, nikki,
used to say.
It's real to feel, and I'mgoing to be real with you.
(22:37):
Okay, but I offer you thisthought to just consider
whenever you're ready.
I'm just going to put it outthere.
What if we made the intentionthat each challenge is a chance
to practice being kind andgentle to ourselves, and that
(23:01):
that's what we're going to startto do.
And then what if we held thatintention in our hearts, so that
maybe not every time, butsometimes and hopefully more and
(23:22):
more often over time thatintention may resurface and
present itself to us in adifficult moment, and because
we've already set that intention, it's perhaps just the tiniest
but easier even just 1% easierto pause in the midst of one of
(23:45):
those really challenging momentsand ask how can I be kinder to
myself about this?
How can I be more gentle withmyself right now?
So next week, I will answerthat question with a little
intention setting exercise thatwe can do to sort of kick off
(24:10):
this idea of training our brainsto start responding to
difficult thoughts and feelingsin a different way, a way that
isn't an impulsive and unkindreaction to our experiences.
For now, though, I'm superexcited to share that the link
(24:37):
to join the waitlist for myprogram, live Better with
Mindfulness for PMDD, is live onmy Instagram.
So that's on Instagram atmindfulnessforpmdd, and you're
just registering your interestcommitment free.
This program can be helpful atany stage of your PMDD journey,
(24:58):
whether you're looking to tamethe flame of survival mode or
change your relationship to yourthoughts and feelings, or find
more stability and acceptance inyour PMDD experience.
So hop over to the link tree onmy Instagram at
mindfulnessforpmdd If you'recurious to learn more about how
(25:20):
mindfulness for PMDD may helpyou to find more peace and calm,
feel more like yourself again,be an active participant in your
own life again, improverelationships that have been
impacted by PMDD.
I built this programspecifically for PMDD so that
(25:44):
sessions and mindfulnessexercises are kept short to fit
better with the decreasedcapacity of someone in the
luteal phase.
Shorter time does not diminishthe benefit of mindfulness and,
in fact, small habits may beeasier to stick with over time,
(26:04):
so there can be great value inshort, mindfulness exercises.
I will send small offerings orprompts or chats a few times a
week to help with developing apractice that sticks, and
(26:26):
accountability and guidance andsupport, because starting
something new is always hard,but especially when you're
feeling you're worst.
And I made sure that thisprogram is really practical and
applicable so that you can dothese mindfulness exercises even
(26:47):
when it feels like too much tosit still with your eyes closed
and focused on your breathing,and even when you're feeling
emotionally maxed out or justpressed for time or just like,
cognitively, you don't feel likeyou can handle a long and
(27:10):
highly focused mindfulnessexercise.
So, again, there's now a liveinterest page.
If you want to learn howmindfulness for PMDD may help
you to develop a mindfulnesspractice you can actually stick
with as a stress management toolfor PMDD, find a sense of
(27:33):
relief from the resistance andresentment, anger, anxiety and
depression caused by PMDD, soyou aren't so hooked by your
negative thoughts and feelings,and how mindfulness for PMDD may
help you to perhaps evenexperience a mindset shift to
(27:56):
find greater compassion foryourself and acceptance of your
PMDD.
If this sounds like you and youwant to learn more about how
you can work with me to usemindfulness to live better with
PMDD, then pop on over to myInstagram at mindfulnessforpmdd
(28:18):
and click on the waitlist formin my links.
You guys, thank you so much forsharing this time with me today
.
It really means a lot, but evenmore I appreciate you for
showing up for yourself.
I can't wait to hear from allof you and in the meanwhile, you
can find our next meditationright here next week.
(28:39):
See you then?
Take a breath and look around.
If you want to learn how you can live better with
PMDD, this podcast was createdfor you.
This is Mindfulness for PMDDwith Diane.
I'm Diane and I'm a registereddietitian and lactation
consultant.
I'm also a mom, a PMDD warriorand a trauma-informed
mindfulness teacher, and this iswhere I discuss topics related
(00:27):
to PMDD through the lens ofmindfulness and meditation and
where I share all about howmindfulness has gotten me to a
place of greater peace andacceptance with my PMDD.
I also chat with people whohave helped and inspired me
along the way, so they can sharethe wisdom with you too.
So let's get started.
This podcast is not asubstitute for psychological
(00:55):
therapy or medical advice.
Please take care when listeningto this podcast, as some may
find certain words or subjectstriggering or difficult to hear.
Take only what serves you andleave the rest behind.
Hey everyone, oh my gosh, ithas been a crazy few weeks.
(01:16):
First of all, I, a few weeksago, was diagnosed with seizures
, which was quite a surprise.
And yet, on another level, itwas not a surprise at all,
because I have been having theseepisodes my entire 42, very
(01:42):
nearly 43 years.
I just always took them forgranted.
No one in my life really evernoticed them, you know, let
alone expressed concern.
I mean, I don't think anyoneever noticed this was happening
to me, and so I kind of justthought that I was always a very
(02:05):
dizzy, sensitive, feinty kindof a person, and thankfully
recently there was a nurse at adoctor's appointment that I went
to who asked me some questionin when she was taking my
medical history that maybe Ihave never been asked before, or
(02:28):
maybe was asked in a differentway, or maybe it was just her,
you know her energy that led meto share.
But something in that moment ofgiving her my history led me to
mention these episodes.
I've always had as long as Ican remember, and when I saw the
(02:51):
doctor he mentioned that itsounded like I was having.
What did he call it?
There's a name for it that usedto be in use and is no longer
used.
Basically it's like partialseizures or absence seizures,
and so I ended up, you know,seeing a neurologist getting an
(03:13):
EEG and it was confirmed that itwas seizures.
So that was wild, and I've beenon anti seizure medication now
and then also in the last coupleof weeks, my son ended up with
strep, so he was home with mefor a few days home from school
(03:36):
and I was feeling a little bitunwell myself and my son also
recently had a couple of strangeepisodes Also.
We've recently been like justin the last couple of weeks
going through evaluations forhim, trying to suss out whether
it's fainting or seizures.
(03:59):
And then, on top of all that, asI thought we were finally
coming out of all that craziness, the last few days, handful of
days, I've been having somepretty intense symptoms, but the
weird thing is these started onday four.
I'm always feeling really goodby day four, day four, I look
(04:21):
forward to day four, day fourI'm feeling like myself again,
but on day four I had reallycrazy mood swings.
I was feeling irritable andangry and then just really I
don't know if it was likedepressed or just really
frustrated, hopeless, so bad.
(04:42):
And then Yesterday I got oh,there was also like some
dizziness recently and thenyesterday I had a headache that
got so bad and nothing washelping all day, so no amount of
(05:03):
like Advil and water and restand everything, eating something
.
Nothing was helping and bynighttime it felt like I was on
the precipice of a migraine.
Like I have a history ofmigraines and when I get a
migraine.
I start to feel really dizzy,nauseous, I start to feel like I
(05:24):
can't see very clearly, youknow, my vision starts to fade
and I start to feel kind of likeI have like a racing heart.
I start to feel panicky.
And all of that was likestarting to set in and so I just
called it a day by 8.30pm,climbed into bed.
I was like I have to make thisgo away, because sometimes the
only way I can make my migrainesgo away is just by sleeping it
(05:45):
off.
Well, the entire night I wasbeing woken up by head pain and
woke up again this morning withterrible head pain, got my son
off to school.
I had some volunteering I wasdoing in his library at school
this morning, so got all mymorning tasks done and by before
(06:08):
lunchtime I was feeling soincredibly dizzy and nauseous
and had so much horriblepressure in my head and I just
had this feeling like I didn'teven know if I could make it
back home.
That's how badly I was feeling.
And when I got back home itfelt like that urgency to get
(06:34):
into bed and try to rest it off,because I felt like I just felt
so dizzy and so nauseous.
It felt like, oh my God, I'vegot to like park myself
somewhere.
But again I took some Advil anddrank more water and ate a
little something, because any ofthose things might help, or
(06:56):
just the combination of them,and got into bed.
And only now, 2pm on day seven,am I starting to feel okay.
And so it occurred to me onlyjust today, when I was feeling
at the worst of all these weirdsymptoms since day four, only
(07:20):
just today, that it did occur tome that maybe these are side
effects of my anti-seizure meds.
My neurologist did say that inher experience with her patients
they really don't report manyside effects at all, maybe just
(07:43):
a little bit of dizziness, ifanything.
But some half-assed internetresearch told me that it might
be possible that I might beexperiencing side effects of my
drugs.
So I will mention that to myneuro.
(08:05):
But all of which is to say thatit's been a crazy few weeks, and
also it always boggles my mindwhen I'm coming out of the
luteal phase.
I'm expecting to feel betterand then I don't, and I'm always
trying to suss out exactlywhat's going on and it's like of
(08:25):
course there are other thingsin life that can make you feel
poorly, either psychologicallyor physically or cognitively,
but because of PMDD and becausethe luteal phase always comes
back around, right, and becausethat's usually the source of my
(08:46):
not feeling well, it's alwayslike this shock to me when I'm
feeling unwell and it's not theluteal phase.
So, anyhow, that's where I'm attoday, today's seven, finally
feeling good after a crazy fewweeks.
And yeah, let's get into it,because today I want to talk
(09:07):
about the missing piece in yourself-management puzzle.
But first one more thing beforeI get to that, because I am
super excited because my programLive Better with Mindfulness
for PMDD is scheduled to launchearly in the new year and I'm
(09:30):
going to be sharing a little bitabout that at the end of this
episode.
Also, this episode comes with ameditation that will be live
next week.
So normally I post a newepisode every two weeks, but
because I want you to be able toapply today's learnings sooner
rather than later, I'm postingthe meditation for you next week
(09:52):
so you can look out for that.
All right, here we go.
So you've probably heard thesaying that you've survived 100%
of your worst days, right, andwhile that's true, it doesn't
(10:12):
always feel super helpful, atleast not to me.
I think the point is that badthings happen and even though
they suck so far, you've alwaysfound yourself on the other side
.
I just think that for me andanyone with PMDD can probably
(10:33):
relate, I know that thechallenges of PMDD will keep
happening from month to month,likely with varying levels of
intensity, but potentially fortwo whole weeks at a time, while
I may end up on the other sidefeeling like myself again.
(10:53):
In the follicular phase, thereis still perhaps some
destruction that may have comewith past luteal phases and that
may come as a result of futureluteal phases.
But the other day I heard areminder that affirmed for me
(11:14):
the reason I practicemindfulness, and that is that,
while challenging times willkeep coming, our goal is to
better manage those moments.
And that's what mindfulness isabout.
(11:36):
It isn't about never againhaving a big feeling or a
negative thought.
Rather, it's about responding alittle bit differently to these
thoughts and feelings.
Specifically, it's aboutresponding in a kind,
(11:56):
open-hearted, curious andjudgment-free sort of way.
So to put it another way in thewords of Shamash Aladina, the
aim of mindfulness is not tofeel better, but to get better
(12:17):
at feeling.
And if we do feel better as aresult of mindfulness, it's a
really nice, really welcomeadded bonus.
Now, frankly, I think that we dooften feel better and I know
that I do as we start toincorporate mindfulness into our
lives, especially when we do itwithin the framework of
(12:39):
acceptance and commitmenttraining, because of the
spaciousness and newpossibilities that it opens up
in our lives.
But the aim of the practice isto get better at feeling,
because we can't just make ourPMDD disappear Maybe someday,
(13:05):
but not today and we can't makeour brains stop presenting us
with warnings or flaggingthreats or coming up with all
sorts of things to worry aboutor beat ourselves up over.
That's just not how the humanmind works, pmdd or no PMDD.
(13:28):
In fact, negative thoughts andfeelings may just become
stronger and more intense themore we try to fight them or
avoid and distract ourselvesfrom them.
But what we do have controlover is how we respond when
(13:49):
faced with these stressors andchallenges.
And I think that is just soperfect for the PMDD experience,
because even as we do so muchto address our symptoms and I
know, I know that you are doinga ton there will still be times
(14:14):
where we perhaps might have areally tough luteal phase.
Maybe life throws a few extrastressors your way one month or
for several months in a row andthat exacerbates your symptoms.
This is where I really feel themagic of mindfulness and this
(14:35):
is why mindfulness is the anchorof my PMDD management.
Because even when I'm doing allthe things quote, unquote,
right the SSRI, the diet and theexercise and the sleep and the
walking, the cycle, sinking, thesymptom tracking, the knitting
(14:56):
and mindful coloring and justreally being deliberate about my
use of my time and my energy,etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Right, even when I'm doing allthose things, I might still have
a month marked by irritabilityor sadness or anxiety or rage or
(15:17):
overwhelm, and in thoseinstances I still can turn
towards my mindfulness tools tohelp me get through specific
moments and I can turn to therenewed outlook that I've
(15:38):
experienced as a result ofmindfulness to help me live
better with my PMDD.
So when I was doing all thethings, I was finding varying
degrees of PMDD relief, but Istill experienced a feeling of
(16:06):
instability and burnout fromriding an emotional roller
coaster each month and, inaddition, I was feeling
resentful, disappointed and kindof hopeless about those
(16:26):
feelings of instability andburnout.
Right, so it was like all thosethings were helping me to some
extent, but I still felt thisfeeling of like I don't know if
I could do this every month, orlike this is insane.
This is really quite anemotional ride for a person to
(16:48):
have to go on over and over andover.
But when I dove deep intomindfulness, including
acceptance and commitmenttraining, and decided one day I
(17:08):
need a mindset shift and soonafter decided I'm going to lean
into acceptance, I quicklydiscovered a release of tension,
a release of pressure and arelease of all these feelings of
(17:33):
inadequacy and resentment andall the rest.
I stopped adding more things tomy list of things I need to do
every day to minimize mysymptoms and maximize my health,
because I was doing plentyalready and I needed time to
(17:57):
actually do life Right.
I didn't need to keep addingmore tasks to my self-management
list and instead I committedmyself to the brain training I
had started to help myself havea better response to and better
(18:20):
relationship with, theproblematic and really negative
thoughts and feelings caused byPMDD and holy cow.
I almost immediatelyexperienced a sense of
spaciousness and openness and asense of possibility for myself
(18:47):
and my life, where previously Ididn't see the light at the end
of the tunnel and I didn't seethe possibility there for me.
I felt like I could breatheagain, I felt like I could enjoy
life again and I began to feellike myself again.
(19:10):
I think because I freed up somuch time and energy that I had
been spending trying to fight myfeelings and my symptoms and I
could now put that energy intoworking with my PMDD experience.
(19:33):
So it was a time of realizationof maybe it's not that there's
another thing for me to do andanother thing for me to do, and
when I finally find that rightthing to do is when I'm going to
feel better.
Maybe it's not another thing todo, maybe it's a different way
(19:54):
to think, maybe it's a mindsetshift that I need.
And it was also a time of thisfeeling of like, oh gosh, I've
been fighting this thing,haven't I?
I've been fighting PMDD andthat's why I'm so, so exhausted
(20:17):
with it and so burned out andfeel so helpless.
And maybe what I need to do isfigure out how to work with PMDD
alongside it.
Look, it's not that I don'tstill take my meds or talk to my
therapist or take care of mydiet and exercise and sleep,
(20:41):
because I do.
I do all those things, butmindfulness and act have filled
in the gap left behind by thosethings.
Mindfulness and act were themissing puzzle piece I was
looking for all along.
(21:02):
So yeah, the luteal phase willkeep coming along and
challenging moments will keepcoming along, pmdd or not,
because we're human and that'slife.
But what if we looked at eachof those moments as a chance for
us to practice being kinder andgentler to ourselves?
(21:26):
First start, might we possiblyfind some easing of symptoms
over time.
Might we manage big feelings ornegative thoughts with just a
bit more ease the next time, sothat, rather than get hooked by
(21:47):
negative thoughts and beingdragged down a deep dark hole
with them, maybe we canacknowledge their presence and
how they make us feel and thenlet them move on, so that we
don't end up in self-loathingand despair.
(22:11):
And no, we're not perfect, sowe're not through each and every
moment with kindness.
It is real to feel, as mymindfulness instructor, nikki,
used to say.
It's real to feel, and I'mgoing to be real with you.
(22:37):
Okay, but I offer you thisthought to just consider
whenever you're ready.
I'm just going to put it outthere.
What if we made the intentionthat each challenge is a chance
to practice being kind andgentle to ourselves, and that
(23:01):
that's what we're going to startto do.
And then what if we held thatintention in our hearts, so that
maybe not every time, butsometimes and hopefully more and
(23:22):
more often over time thatintention may resurface and
present itself to us in adifficult moment, and because
we've already set that intention, it's perhaps just the tiniest
but easier even just 1% easierto pause in the midst of one of
(23:45):
those really challenging momentsand ask how can I be kinder to
myself about this?
How can I be more gentle withmyself right now?
So next week, I will answerthat question with a little
intention setting exercise thatwe can do to sort of kick off
(24:10):
this idea of training our brainsto start responding to
difficult thoughts and feelingsin a different way, a way that
isn't an impulsive and unkindreaction to our experiences.
For now, though, I'm superexcited to share that the link
(24:37):
to join the waitlist for myprogram, live Better with
Mindfulness for PMDD, is live onmy Instagram.
So that's on Instagram atmindfulnessforpmdd, and you're
just registering your interestcommitment free.
This program can be helpful atany stage of your PMDD journey,
(24:58):
whether you're looking to tamethe flame of survival mode or
change your relationship to yourthoughts and feelings, or find
more stability and acceptance inyour PMDD experience.
So hop over to the link tree onmy Instagram at
mindfulnessforpmdd If you'recurious to learn more about how
(25:20):
mindfulness for PMDD may helpyou to find more peace and calm,
feel more like yourself again,be an active participant in your
own life again, improverelationships that have been
impacted by PMDD.
I built this programspecifically for PMDD so that
(25:44):
sessions and mindfulnessexercises are kept short to fit
better with the decreasedcapacity of someone in the
luteal phase.
Shorter time does not diminishthe benefit of mindfulness and,
in fact, small habits may beeasier to stick with over time,
(26:04):
so there can be great value inshort, mindfulness exercises.
I will send small offerings orprompts or chats a few times a
week to help with developing apractice that sticks, and
(26:26):
accountability and guidance andsupport, because starting
something new is always hard,but especially when you're
feeling you're worst.
And I made sure that thisprogram is really practical and
applicable so that you can dothese mindfulness exercises even
(26:47):
when it feels like too much tosit still with your eyes closed
and focused on your breathing,and even when you're feeling
emotionally maxed out or justpressed for time or just like,
cognitively, you don't feel likeyou can handle a long and
(27:10):
highly focused mindfulnessexercise.
So, again, there's now a liveinterest page.
If you want to learn howmindfulness for PMDD may help
you to develop a mindfulnesspractice you can actually stick
with as a stress management toolfor PMDD, find a sense of
(27:33):
relief from the resistance andresentment, anger, anxiety and
depression caused by PMDD, soyou aren't so hooked by your
negative thoughts and feelings,and how mindfulness for PMDD may
help you to perhaps evenexperience a mindset shift to
(27:56):
find greater compassion foryourself and acceptance of your
PMDD.
If this sounds like you and youwant to learn more about how
you can work with me to usemindfulness to live better with
PMDD, then pop on over to myInstagram at mindfulnessforpmdd
(28:18):
and click on the waitlist formin my links.
You guys, thank you so much forsharing this time with me today
.
It really means a lot, but evenmore I appreciate you for
showing up for yourself.
I can't wait to hear from allof you and in the meanwhile, you
can find our next meditationright here next week.
(28:39):
See you then?
Take a breath and look around.
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