July 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Send an anonymous text message
What happens when a 19-year-old youth empowerment speaker pulls back the curtain on what teenagers are really thinking but afraid to say? Lawrence C Harris joins the MindShift Power Podcast to share the four confessions he regularly hears from his peers: "I feel like I can't talk to anyone without being judged," "I don't even know what's wrong with me," "I pretend everything's okay, but I know it's not," and "I love him too much to leave, even when he cheats."
With wisdom that belies his age, Lawrence offers practical solutions for young people struggling with these challenges. From the power of journaling as a judgment-free space to explore one's thoughts, to the healing perspective that comes from simply stepping outside, his insights provide actionable pathways toward better mental health. Lawrence's most profound message may be his perspective on authentic self-discovery—rejecting the notion of "finding yourself" in favor of "uncovering" who you already are beneath layers of societal expectations.
The conversation challenges adults to recognize that today's youth are navigating a world fundamentally different from the one we knew. Social media creates unprecedented pressure to conform to narrow definitions of success and happiness. Lawrence urges young people to question these expectations and find the courage to step outside their comfort zones—to leave the "prison cell" of conformity even when those around them remain trapped within it.
Whether you're a teenager struggling to understand yourself, a parent trying to connect with your child, or an educator looking to better support your students, this episode offers rare insight into the minds of today's youth.
Learn more about Lawrence or follow him below.
https://www.lawrencecharris.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lawrencec.empowers
https://www.tiktok.com/@lawrencecempowers
Contact Lawrence at lawrence@lawrenccharris.com if you're a podcast host, event coordinator, or school principal interested in having him speak.
Every episode brings global perspectives and leadership insights. Click on the "Support the show" link above and keep the mission alive!
Search MindShift Power Podcast buy topic here: https://www.fatimabey.com/podcast-search
Explore more about my work beyond podcasting, check out the blog, share your thoughts, or become a guest! https://www.FatimaBey.world
I also have another podcast called The MindShifter Audio Blog!
Experience my written words like never before, as I personally narrate my blogs for a truly engaging audio journey. https://www.fatimabey.com/audioblog
Join the MindShift Universe—where real conversations spark transformation!
Follow me on social media: Follow Me
Thank you for listening!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fatima Bey (00:04):
This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
everyone.
We have today with us LawrenceC Harris.
(00:26):
He is a youth empowermentspeaker from Philadelphia,
pennsylvania, here in the US,and you've heard from him before
.
This man is a powerhouse ofknowledge and he is only 19
years old and I absolutely loveit.
So here today we're here totalk about something a little
different.
As a youth empowerment speaker,many of Lawrence's peers really
(00:52):
genuinely talk to him, send himmessages and have
heart-to-heart conversationswith him.
So he's here representing hispeers so that we as adults can
hear the pulse of American youth.
So, lawrence, your peers feelvery comfortable talking to you.
Yes, yes.
(01:14):
And we're going to talk aboutjust four things that are
probably the biggest thatLawrence hears from his peers,
so I will let you take it awayfrom there, lawrence.
Lawrence C. Harris (01:27):
Thank you.
I often like to tell peoplethat well, this is actually what
you say very often is that realchange happens where real
conversations begin, andsometimes those real
conversations are hard to admit.
And these are four very hard toadmit truths I hear constantly.
I feel like I can't talk toanyone without being judged.
(01:51):
I don't even know what's wrongwith me.
I pretend everything's okay,but I know it's not.
I love him too much to leave,even when he cheats.
I'm going to give you all amoment to let that sink in.
These are the words of youngteenagers 15, 17, 18.
(02:17):
These are the feelings of thepeople you go to class with.
The people on your sports team,the people in your after-school
club could be the personsitting next to you and you
never know it, because it's veryrare that people feel safe
enough to open up.
And there are much harderthings that people experience
(02:43):
thoughts that go through theirhead believing that they don't
even know how to love themselves.
But we can sit all day and talkabout the problem.
We can sit all day and talkabout how painful this is, but
in order to begin the healing,we need solutions.
What can we do If you're ateenager?
(03:06):
What can you do to help yourself?
If you have a friend, what canyou do to help them?
Or maybe it's your child.
Maybe it's the person who youcoach and you're their football
coach.
Maybe you're a summer campcounselor and you notice there's
a kid who always seems a bitdown.
What can you do?
What are some suggestions youcan make to them?
(03:28):
Firstly, encourage them tojournal.
Often we, as young people, don'tunderstand ourselves because
we've never been given thefreedom or the opportunity to do
so.
Because if you just take anhonest look around opportunity
to do so, because if you justtake an honest look around,
(03:49):
there are so many things thattake us out of our
self-understanding.
Oh, I need to look good forpeople on social media.
I need to look good to impressthe people in my class.
What are my family going tothink of me?
What if my grades are too low?
What about all these thingsthat are telling me what I
should and should not be, whatthe news is telling me I should
be, what music is telling me Ishould be, what the movies are
(04:11):
telling me I should be?
But journaling allows people tosit down and have the safety and
the comfort to just write onthe page, because the page don't
judge you.
The journal doesn't judge you.
It allows you the freedom tojust say what you want to say.
Get it out and it'll listen.
It's there for you.
(04:33):
It helps you to understandyourself, and maybe you don't
know how to say it.
You don't know how to tellsomebody what you're feeling.
You just don't know the words.
But when you sit and thinkabout it and you write it down,
it helps you to find the words.
It helps you to find thestrength to tell somebody what's
going on.
(04:54):
Another great one that you cando simply go outside.
If you lock yourself into aroom all day and there's trash
everywhere and there's dirtyclothes and you're stressed out
and your room is dark, it'sgoing to make it harder for you
to feel safe.
It's going to make it harderfor you to feel like there's
(05:16):
opportunity in the world andthat life is beautiful because
you haven't stepped outside andseen how beautiful the world is.
Yes, there are things that goon in the world.
Yes, there is issues with thesafety of your city or politics.
You can even make it that big.
Yes, there are world tragedies.
(05:37):
Yes, there's war, but there isalso a blue sky.
There is also a blue sky.
There is also green grass.
There is also things to beappreciative of, and I know it's
hard to find the beauty whenyou feel like the world falling
apart.
I know it's hard to find areason to get out of bed in the
(05:57):
morning.
I know it's hard to find areason to love yourself when you
feel like everyone andeverything is holding you back
yourself, when you feel likeeveryone and everything is
holding you back.
But you have the power to stepoutside that door, take a deep
breath and say I'm alive.
You have the power to do that.
And when you do decide you wantto speak to somebody maybe it's
a friend, a family member, acounselor and say, hey, I'm
(06:21):
feeling really sad and I don'tknow what to do, slowly but
surely you open up.
You don't need to go right intothe deep end and tell them
about the most painful thingsyou're going through at home.
You don't need to go right intothe deep end and tell them that
you're having thoughts ofhurting yourself and hurting
other people.
You can start on the surfaceand, layer by layer, go deeper.
(06:41):
You can say I'm feeling reallystressed out today and they're
going to ask well, why are youstressed out?
I'm stressed out because myfamily member did something to
me, or somebody said somethingto me in class, or people are
bullying me online and then yougo deeper and deeper and then
you show them the hard thingsBecause it's easier to dip your
(07:05):
toes into the pool than divehead first.
You don't have to dive headfirst into your deepest traumas
and your pain and your sorrow.
You can let them in slowlybecause it gives you the power
to decide who you let in.
It gives you the power todecide who you let have that
access and when you see thatthey're not judging you, it
(07:29):
helps you to trust them.
It helps you to trust peopleand know that they're not just
pretending to care.
They actually do.
No matter how hard it feels,there are people who genuinely
care about you.
It's just our mind startsplaying tricks on us and makes
it hard for us to see it, and inthat process it's not going to
(07:51):
be easy.
You're going to have to comeface to face and admit that
maybe the reason why you havetrouble leaving your boyfriend,
who keeps cheating on you, isbecause growing up, that's what
your dad did to your mom.
That's what your uncle did toyour aunt, that's what your
uncle did to your aunt, that'swhat your friends' boyfriends do
to them, and because you knowit's bad for you, but it's
(08:12):
familiar.
Unfortunately, we often go tothe thing that is familiar, even
if we know it's bad for us.
You know that man is bad foryou, but it's familiar, you
understand this.
You know what's in front of youand it's like you start to
think that, oh, it's not thatbad, but you see it right in
(08:35):
front of you.
You start to make excuses.
You start to make excuses forpeople for mistreating you, and
I'm not saying that you go telleverybody that, oh, it's my way
or no way.
No, you need to love yourselfenough to know when somebody's
bad for you and to leave, notbecause you're mad at them, not
because they're a bad person,but because you love yourself.
(08:58):
And the more you love yourself,the more you are willing to say
no to that person who treatsyou bad, to say no to that job
that keep disrespecting you, tosay no to that person who's
trying to make you do somethingyou know you don't want to do,
to say no to that party, to sayno to that alcohol, to say no to
that substance, to say no tothat bad habit.
(09:21):
And I know it's easier saidthan done but, like I tell
people all the time, if it'seasier said than done it's
probably worth doing.
It's easier said than done tohave the strength to tell
somebody that you're hurting.
It's easier said than done totell somebody that, hey, I'm
(09:41):
tired of being here.
To tell somebody that, hey, Idon't like how you're treating
me.
To tell somebody that, hey, Idon't like we keep going out
doing this bad habit.
It's easier said than done, butif you don't do it you might end
up with an addiction.
If you don't do it, you'regoing to end up having people
take advantage of you.
If you don't do it, you mighteven end up dead because you
(10:03):
didn't let somebody know thatI'm having these thoughts of
hurting myself, I'm having thesethoughts of hurting somebody
else.
If you don't let it out, it'sjust going to build and build
and build and inflate yourselflike a balloon and then you'll
just pop.
You might pop and hurt yourself.
You might pop and hurt somebodywho you didn't mean to.
You might pop and startself-sabotaging your
(10:24):
relationships.
You might pop and hurt somebodywho you didn't mean to.
You might pop and startself-sabotaging your
relationships.
You might pop and self-sabotagethat job.
You might pop and self-sabotageyour education, but at the end
of the day you don't even knowwho these people are.
You don't know if that personmet you in class, what they're
going through.
So before you say somethingmean to somebody, before you say
(10:48):
that somebody is emotional orthey're irrational or oh,
they're just being dramatic, youneed to think you don't know,
unless they tell you.
So give everybody the love andrespect and care that you want,
because you don't know whatthey're going through.
Fatima Bey (11:07):
I'm going to say I almost forgot for a second that
this is my show.
I was just a member in youraudience.
Lawrence C. Harris (11:12):
Thank, you Because that really came from
the soul.
I've seen people who had suchbright, promising futures but
they ended up dating the wrongperson.
They ended up having a kid whenthey was a teenager.
(11:33):
They ended up an addict.
They ended up in jail Becausethey just didn't talk about it.
Fatima Bey (11:43):
Yes, and you just said so so much.
And I want to point out for amoment to those listening
specifically to adults for thisportion.
You just heard a boatload ofwisdom coming from a 19 year old
.
A 19 year old, and there arepeople in their fifties that
(12:05):
still haven't gotten a clueabout some of the things that he
just said.
It's not about age, it's aboutmaturity, which is not
equivalent to age, and he isliving proof of what I talk
about all the time.
Just because someone is youngdoesn't mean that they don't
have wisdom and that they don'tknow anything and that we should
treat them like oh, you're justa little kid.
What I just heard was not alittle kid.
What I just heard was someonethat's hard to believe that he's
(12:29):
only 19.
Now, lawrence, could you tellme what those four issues were
again?
Let's review them.
Could you just say the wholelot and let's go back to what
those four were again.
Lawrence C. Harris (12:40):
Those four were.
I feel like I can't talk toanyone without being judged.
I don't even know what's wrongwith me.
I pretend everything's okay,but I know it's not.
I love him too much to leave,even when he cheats on me All
right, I'm going to reword someof that.
Fatima Bey (13:00):
So let's go back to I don't know what'sats on me.
All right, I'm going to rewordsome of that.
So let's go back to I don'tknow what's wrong with me.
That one bothers me so muchbecause I know how true it is.
So many of your peers are outthere thinking they're stupid,
there's something wrong withthem, when often there isn't.
They just don't fit into thestupid little box that our
(13:23):
society says you're supposed tofit into.
Lawrence C. Harris (13:26):
Yes, that's that's been so evident, not only
for me personally, but so manypeople I've known.
Because just think of it thisway Right, I am a black man
living in America, so there's anexpectation that, oh, he must
like basketball or football, orhe must be into this certain
(13:48):
thing, or he must smoke, or thisor that.
But then people meet me andit's like a shock to them.
They're like hold up, you don'tplay basketball, you don't
smoke, you like to go fishing,what?
And that's been how my entirelife been.
I've never fit into the box.
(14:10):
And what you just mentionedthere is that the box is like
this stupid construct that ismeant to limit us, because it's
not that.
Oh, I don't fit in.
No, you're not meant to, you'renot meant to trap yourself in
these four walls that people gothrough life thinking that, oh,
(14:31):
if I don't dress this way, noone's going to like me.
If I'm not six foot five andmake a million dollars a month,
women don't like me.
I am five foot six".
I make nowhere near a milliondollars a month and I don't even
have a car.
Oh, if I don't wear a size 2dress, men don't like me.
(14:52):
There are men who like everysingle color, shape, size under
the sun.
But when we start thinkingabout this, bought in
expectation Of what we need tobe, we forget that hold up.
Maybe that way your voice,randomly cracked In the middle
(15:13):
of your sentence, would bereally good for you If you were
a comedian.
And wait, you always lovedcracking jokes as a kid, but the
people around you Didn't havethe same sense of humor as you.
You just need to find yourpeople and realize that the box
doesn't need to trap you.
Fatima Bey (15:32):
I say this all the time, and I did an episode a few
weeks ago, I think I called itbreaking the jeans that we put
on you.
You have to go back and look.
But I talked about the factthat we need to stop buying into
the bullshit, stop buying intobelieving everything we're told,
believing that our society sayswell, you have to fit into this
(15:52):
way, you have to go to collegethis exact way, you have to do
this.
No, we don't, at least not inthis country.
We have freedom, we have choice, and we need to start
questioning everything thatwe've been taught, because a lot
of what we've been taught isabsolute bullshit and it fits in
for others, but it doesn't fitin for us, and part of that is
(16:15):
finding out who we are as people.
Right?
Lawrence C. Harris (16:43):
Yes, and something you just touched on
that actually reminded me of theright Every news station in
America is ran by the same threecompanies.
Every news station is the samethree organizations, 95% of the
food is ran by the same two, andthe biggest producer of beef,
chicken and potatoes in theworld is McDonald's.
(17:07):
So, if I can make you, anothergreat point is I learned this
while working at McDonald's.
So anyone who listened to this,you're not going to want to eat
McDonald's, mcdonald's,mcdonald's has actual contracts
(17:28):
with hospitals saying that theycannot discourage you from
eating McDonald's.
Now you would think to yourselfwell, why would they do that?
Very simple, they can't controlwhat a hospital is allowed to
say, but they can controlwhether or not we give you money
.
So you can only say what wewill pay you for.
Fatima Bey (17:44):
That goes round back to the same point Because I
think that's a whole otherconversation that I probably
will do an episode on but thefact that we are believing what
we're told.
We're believing that there'ssomething wrong with us because
we don't say things a certainway.
There's something wrong with us, like you said, because we
don't like the same things thatthe mainstream is supposed to
(18:05):
like, and a large part of it,especially for your generation,
that wasn't as far present in mygeneration, is the fact that
social media is a major part ofyour life.
It's a part of your existenceand has been your entire life.
So we had magazines and youhave social media, but magazines
weren't as intense as what youhave today.
(18:25):
So where you differ is theinfluences that you have in your
generation for what you'resupposed to be, and a lot of
it's a lie.
A lot of it's a lie, and I wantto encourage all of you out
there and I know that Lawrenceso much said so, or a little
earlier.
Encourage all of you out thereand I know that lawrence so much
said so a little earlier.
(18:45):
You do not have to be whatsociety says you need to be.
You need to find out who youare.
Yeah, and be that person, andmore than likely that will break
the mold of what they sayyou're supposed to be.
So many people spend theirwhole lives being miserable
because they're trying to fitinto a mold that other people,
who didn't create them, say thatthey're supposed to be.
Lawrence C. Harris (19:04):
Yes, and here's what here is firstly, how
you can figure out who you are,because this is such a vague
term that people throw around.
I need to find myself.
I need to figure out who I am.
Here's what you actually needto do.
You need to stop trying to find.
(19:25):
You need to uncover, becauseyou are inside of you.
Fatima Bey (19:28):
You got to repeat that about 25,000 more times.
Can you say that again?
You need to what?
Lawrence C. Harris (19:34):
You need to stop trying to find yourself and
you need to uncover it, becauseyou are inside of you.
Think of it this way right, ifI looked at you and I said, show
me you, you would say, okay,look me, I'm pointing at myself.
This is me.
(19:54):
No, it's not.
You're not your body.
Because if I can just say, oh,I'm my body, that would mean I
am everyone, I'm not everyone.
Okay, well, am I my thoughts?
Okay, well, show me where youare in your brain.
You can't point to yourself.
So that means that you arebeyond the physical.
(20:16):
Now we're getting into more oflike a spiritual thing or
religious thing.
However you want to take this,you are not defined by how you
look.
You are not defined by whatpeople say you are.
You are actually defined bywhat you say and what you
believe.
You are Great example of this,when I believe it is Exodus 3.14
(20:44):
.
Long story short for those whoaren't familiar with it Moses.
He goes up to this mountain andhe sees God and he says well,
I'm going to go back to thepeople.
Who am I supposed to say hassent me?
And God simply says say I amhas sent you.
Now, what you can take fromthis is if God himself would
(21:06):
identify as I am.
Whatever or whatever you'rethrowing after, I am, after that
eternal present.
After that, eternal I am.
That's what you claim you arethat what you are imprinting on
yourself, and the way you figureout who you genuinely and
authentically are is play acharacter, figure out what do I
(21:30):
want to be?
What sets my soul on fire whenI think about that thing I
wanted to be when I was younger?
What sets me on fire?
Is it being a a rock star?
And you come from aneighborhood of people who their
favorite genre is country, butyou want to go be a rock star.
(21:51):
If that would set your soul onfire, get that guitar and then
play around.
Try different fashion styles,try different clothing,
different hairstyles, and you'llfigure out what you genuinely
connect with, not because you'retrying to find it, but because
you're going through the layersof uncovering.
(22:12):
That's not me.
I don't want to be a doctor.
My family would tell me,Lawrence, you'd be a doctor, you
should be an engineer, youshould do this, you should do
that.
But I don't want to do that.
Right, I don't connect with it.
I connect with inspiring people, motivating them, giving them
something of substance and valuethat can change their life.
This is me.
(22:33):
And when you are yourself inevery room, you go in.
That's when you are authentic,you are genuine and the world
will bless you for that.
But before you get the blessing, people will try to put you
back into that box.
It's like the real genuine.
You cannot fit into the lifethat you were told you had to be
(22:57):
.
You were told you have to talkthis way, dress this way, look
this way.
But when you start being thereal you, it's like the rule
test you.
It says oh no, come back.
It's too dangerous out there.
It's too dangerous to try thatcareer idea that no one in your
family has done.
It's too dangerous, start yourown.
It's too dangerous to startyour own business.
It's too dangerous to wear yourhair how you want to wear your
(23:20):
hair.
It's too dangerous, come backwith us.
You can't go back Because ifyou go back you're going to
realize that you weresleepwalking.
But now your eyes have beenopened and you see the truth and
people are going to call youcrazy, they're going to call you
weird, but at the end of theday, when you connect with
(23:43):
yourself and you love yourselfgenuinely and authentically for
who and what you are.
It's like eternal bliss.
It frees you from yeah, youmight still care a little bit
about what people think of you,but you're not a prisoner to it.
Fatima Bey (24:01):
Yes, and a prisoner.
We don't want anyone to be Well.
Lawrence C. Harris (24:07):
Lawrence I.
It's like you.
It's like a prisoner mentally,but the irony is that you have
the key.
You can turn the key.
It's just once you unlock thatdoor, it ain't no going back.
You got a whole lot of friendsin the prison cell.
You got a whole lot of peoplewho spend their whole life
trapped in the box.
(24:28):
But when you decide I'm goingto leave the box, you have to
wander out into the wildernessand then find people who had the
same courage to be themselvesin a world where most people are
like I'm gonna just stay herewhere it's safe, even though the
safety is actually an illusion,because you're safe inside of a
(24:49):
prison cell.
Fatima Bey (24:53):
I like what you said about leave the box.
I think that paints a pictureof everything, most of what
you're talking about.
And, lawrence, I have verylittle words to say and that's
hard for me to do, but you'vesaid so much and you've said it
so powerfully and I'm hopingthat some of your peers, when
(25:14):
they listen to this, really taketo heart even just bits and
pieces of what you said, becauseit can change a mindset and
therefore change your mind and,as my tagline says, there's
power in shifting your thinking.
So, lawrence, thanks once againfor coming on.
Again, I'm expecting to you tosee, I'm expecting to see you
(25:34):
soar and go into much higherplaces.
To see, I'm expecting to seeyou soar and go into much higher
places.
That's just going to happen.
So, thank you again for comingon and I appreciate you.
I appreciate you coming on andtalking to our youth and
allowing the adults to hear youas well.
Lawrence C. Harris (25:50):
I appreciate being here too, and if anybody
wants to see more of my content,you can find my YouTube, tiktok
, instagram.
All of them are Lawrence CEmpowers.
Website is lawrencecharriscom.
Books are on Amazon.
Fatima Bey (26:09):
And his information will be in the show notes or the
podcast description.
Lawrence C. Harris (26:13):
Oh yeah, and you just remind me of the last
thing I meant to say too.
Oh yeah, and you just remind meof the last thing I meant to
say too.
If you happen to be a podcasthost, an event coordinator, you
are a school principal or youknow one, which you definitely
do.
You know your cousin or youraunt or your niece or nephew is
a school principal.
Email me, lawrence, at LawrenceC Harris dot com If you're in
(26:37):
America.
Fatima Bey (26:42):
I will come, and now for a mind shifting moment.
I want you to take a moment tothink about a lot of the wisdom
that you heard come out of thisyoung man who is only 19.
For the adults listening,especially you, this young man
is living proof that our youthare not wasted, that they're not
(27:03):
all lost.
In fact, there's a wholereservoir of wisdom in the ones
we're ignoring.
Just because they're youngdoesn't mean they're
inexperienced or that they lackwisdom.
Today's youth are dealing witha world you didn't.
You did not grow up in.
The world they're growing up in.
They have a lot more experiencethan you think they do.
(27:26):
Take the time to listen to ouryouth, want to solve a problem
for our youth, or involving ouryouth.
It starts with listening.
You can't solve a problem youdon't understand.
It starts with listening.
(28:02):
You can't solve a problem youdon't understand and, trust me,
you don't understand becauseyou're not in it the way they
are.
Rewind this episode.
Go back, listen again, becausehe gave you a whole cash bag of
wisdom, and I don't care how oldyou are.
So much of what he said.
Many of us still haven'tlearned yet At 30 and 50 years
old.
Go back and listen to thewisdom of a 19-year-old.
You've been listening toMindShift Power Podcast.
For complete show notes on thisepisode and to join our global
movement, find us atFatimaBaycom.
Until next time.
(28:22):
Always remember there's powerin shifting your thinking.
This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
everyone.
We have today with us LawrenceC Harris.
(00:26):
He is a youth empowermentspeaker from Philadelphia,
pennsylvania, here in the US,and you've heard from him before
.
This man is a powerhouse ofknowledge and he is only 19
years old and I absolutely loveit.
So here today we're here totalk about something a little
different.
As a youth empowerment speaker,many of Lawrence's peers really
(00:52):
genuinely talk to him, send himmessages and have
heart-to-heart conversationswith him.
So he's here representing hispeers so that we as adults can
hear the pulse of American youth.
So, lawrence, your peers feelvery comfortable talking to you.
Yes, yes.
(01:14):
And we're going to talk aboutjust four things that are
probably the biggest thatLawrence hears from his peers,
so I will let you take it awayfrom there, lawrence.
Lawrence C. Harris (01:27):
Thank you.
I often like to tell peoplethat well, this is actually what
you say very often is that realchange happens where real
conversations begin, andsometimes those real
conversations are hard to admit.
And these are four very hard toadmit truths I hear constantly.
I feel like I can't talk toanyone without being judged.
(01:51):
I don't even know what's wrongwith me.
I pretend everything's okay,but I know it's not.
I love him too much to leave,even when he cheats.
I'm going to give you all amoment to let that sink in.
These are the words of youngteenagers 15, 17, 18.
(02:17):
These are the feelings of thepeople you go to class with.
The people on your sports team,the people in your after-school
club could be the personsitting next to you and you
never know it, because it's veryrare that people feel safe
enough to open up.
And there are much harderthings that people experience
(02:43):
thoughts that go through theirhead believing that they don't
even know how to love themselves.
But we can sit all day and talkabout the problem.
We can sit all day and talkabout how painful this is, but
in order to begin the healing,we need solutions.
What can we do If you're ateenager?
(03:06):
What can you do to help yourself?
If you have a friend, what canyou do to help them?
Or maybe it's your child.
Maybe it's the person who youcoach and you're their football
coach.
Maybe you're a summer campcounselor and you notice there's
a kid who always seems a bitdown.
What can you do?
What are some suggestions youcan make to them?
(03:28):
Firstly, encourage them tojournal.
Often we, as young people, don'tunderstand ourselves because
we've never been given thefreedom or the opportunity to do
so.
Because if you just take anhonest look around opportunity
to do so, because if you justtake an honest look around,
(03:49):
there are so many things thattake us out of our
self-understanding.
Oh, I need to look good forpeople on social media.
I need to look good to impressthe people in my class.
What are my family going tothink of me?
What if my grades are too low?
What about all these thingsthat are telling me what I
should and should not be, whatthe news is telling me I should
be, what music is telling me Ishould be, what the movies are
(04:11):
telling me I should be?
But journaling allows people tosit down and have the safety and
the comfort to just write onthe page, because the page don't
judge you.
The journal doesn't judge you.
It allows you the freedom tojust say what you want to say.
Get it out and it'll listen.
It's there for you.
(04:33):
It helps you to understandyourself, and maybe you don't
know how to say it.
You don't know how to tellsomebody what you're feeling.
You just don't know the words.
But when you sit and thinkabout it and you write it down,
it helps you to find the words.
It helps you to find thestrength to tell somebody what's
going on.
(04:54):
Another great one that you cando simply go outside.
If you lock yourself into aroom all day and there's trash
everywhere and there's dirtyclothes and you're stressed out
and your room is dark, it'sgoing to make it harder for you
to feel safe.
It's going to make it harderfor you to feel like there's
(05:16):
opportunity in the world andthat life is beautiful because
you haven't stepped outside andseen how beautiful the world is.
Yes, there are things that goon in the world.
Yes, there is issues with thesafety of your city or politics.
You can even make it that big.
Yes, there are world tragedies.
(05:37):
Yes, there's war, but there isalso a blue sky.
There is also a blue sky.
There is also green grass.
There is also things to beappreciative of, and I know it's
hard to find the beauty whenyou feel like the world falling
apart.
I know it's hard to find areason to get out of bed in the
(05:57):
morning.
I know it's hard to find areason to love yourself when you
feel like everyone andeverything is holding you back
yourself, when you feel likeeveryone and everything is
holding you back.
But you have the power to stepoutside that door, take a deep
breath and say I'm alive.
You have the power to do that.
And when you do decide you wantto speak to somebody maybe it's
a friend, a family member, acounselor and say, hey, I'm
(06:21):
feeling really sad and I don'tknow what to do, slowly but
surely you open up.
You don't need to go right intothe deep end and tell them
about the most painful thingsyou're going through at home.
You don't need to go right intothe deep end and tell them that
you're having thoughts ofhurting yourself and hurting
other people.
You can start on the surfaceand, layer by layer, go deeper.
(06:41):
You can say I'm feeling reallystressed out today and they're
going to ask well, why are youstressed out?
I'm stressed out because myfamily member did something to
me, or somebody said somethingto me in class, or people are
bullying me online and then yougo deeper and deeper and then
you show them the hard thingsBecause it's easier to dip your
(07:05):
toes into the pool than divehead first.
You don't have to dive headfirst into your deepest traumas
and your pain and your sorrow.
You can let them in slowlybecause it gives you the power
to decide who you let in.
It gives you the power todecide who you let have that
access and when you see thatthey're not judging you, it
(07:29):
helps you to trust them.
It helps you to trust peopleand know that they're not just
pretending to care.
They actually do.
No matter how hard it feels,there are people who genuinely
care about you.
It's just our mind startsplaying tricks on us and makes
it hard for us to see it, and inthat process it's not going to
(07:51):
be easy.
You're going to have to comeface to face and admit that
maybe the reason why you havetrouble leaving your boyfriend,
who keeps cheating on you, isbecause growing up, that's what
your dad did to your mom.
That's what your uncle did toyour aunt, that's what your
uncle did to your aunt, that'swhat your friends' boyfriends do
to them, and because you knowit's bad for you, but it's
(08:12):
familiar.
Unfortunately, we often go tothe thing that is familiar, even
if we know it's bad for us.
You know that man is bad foryou, but it's familiar, you
understand this.
You know what's in front of youand it's like you start to
think that, oh, it's not thatbad, but you see it right in
(08:35):
front of you.
You start to make excuses.
You start to make excuses forpeople for mistreating you, and
I'm not saying that you go telleverybody that, oh, it's my way
or no way.
No, you need to love yourselfenough to know when somebody's
bad for you and to leave, notbecause you're mad at them, not
because they're a bad person,but because you love yourself.
(08:58):
And the more you love yourself,the more you are willing to say
no to that person who treatsyou bad, to say no to that job
that keep disrespecting you, tosay no to that person who's
trying to make you do somethingyou know you don't want to do,
to say no to that party, to sayno to that alcohol, to say no to
that substance, to say no tothat bad habit.
(09:21):
And I know it's easier saidthan done but, like I tell
people all the time, if it'seasier said than done it's
probably worth doing.
It's easier said than done tohave the strength to tell
somebody that you're hurting.
It's easier said than done totell somebody that, hey, I'm
(09:41):
tired of being here.
To tell somebody that, hey, Idon't like how you're treating
me.
To tell somebody that, hey, Idon't like we keep going out
doing this bad habit.
It's easier said than done, butif you don't do it you might end
up with an addiction.
If you don't do it, you'regoing to end up having people
take advantage of you.
If you don't do it, you mighteven end up dead because you
(10:03):
didn't let somebody know thatI'm having these thoughts of
hurting myself, I'm having thesethoughts of hurting somebody
else.
If you don't let it out, it'sjust going to build and build
and build and inflate yourselflike a balloon and then you'll
just pop.
You might pop and hurt yourself.
You might pop and hurt somebodywho you didn't mean to.
You might pop and startself-sabotaging your
(10:24):
relationships.
You might pop and hurt somebodywho you didn't mean to.
You might pop and startself-sabotaging your
relationships.
You might pop and self-sabotagethat job.
You might pop and self-sabotageyour education, but at the end
of the day you don't even knowwho these people are.
You don't know if that personmet you in class, what they're
going through.
So before you say somethingmean to somebody, before you say
(10:48):
that somebody is emotional orthey're irrational or oh,
they're just being dramatic, youneed to think you don't know,
unless they tell you.
So give everybody the love andrespect and care that you want,
because you don't know whatthey're going through.
Fatima Bey (11:07):
I'm going to say I almost forgot for a second that
this is my show.
I was just a member in youraudience.
Lawrence C. Harris (11:12):
Thank, you Because that really came from
the soul.
I've seen people who had suchbright, promising futures but
they ended up dating the wrongperson.
They ended up having a kid whenthey was a teenager.
(11:33):
They ended up an addict.
They ended up in jail Becausethey just didn't talk about it.
Fatima Bey (11:43):
Yes, and you just said so so much.
And I want to point out for amoment to those listening
specifically to adults for thisportion.
You just heard a boatload ofwisdom coming from a 19 year old
.
A 19 year old, and there arepeople in their fifties that
(12:05):
still haven't gotten a clueabout some of the things that he
just said.
It's not about age, it's aboutmaturity, which is not
equivalent to age, and he isliving proof of what I talk
about all the time.
Just because someone is youngdoesn't mean that they don't
have wisdom and that they don'tknow anything and that we should
treat them like oh, you're justa little kid.
What I just heard was not alittle kid.
What I just heard was someonethat's hard to believe that he's
(12:29):
only 19.
Now, lawrence, could you tellme what those four issues were
again?
Let's review them.
Could you just say the wholelot and let's go back to what
those four were again.
Lawrence C. Harris (12:40):
Those four were.
I feel like I can't talk toanyone without being judged.
I don't even know what's wrongwith me.
I pretend everything's okay,but I know it's not.
I love him too much to leave,even when he cheats on me All
right, I'm going to reword someof that.
Fatima Bey (13:00):
So let's go back to I don't know what'sats on me.
All right, I'm going to rewordsome of that.
So let's go back to I don'tknow what's wrong with me.
That one bothers me so muchbecause I know how true it is.
So many of your peers are outthere thinking they're stupid,
there's something wrong withthem, when often there isn't.
They just don't fit into thestupid little box that our
(13:23):
society says you're supposed tofit into.
Lawrence C. Harris (13:26):
Yes, that's that's been so evident, not only
for me personally, but so manypeople I've known.
Because just think of it thisway Right, I am a black man
living in America, so there's anexpectation that, oh, he must
like basketball or football, orhe must be into this certain
(13:48):
thing, or he must smoke, or thisor that.
But then people meet me andit's like a shock to them.
They're like hold up, you don'tplay basketball, you don't
smoke, you like to go fishing,what?
And that's been how my entirelife been.
I've never fit into the box.
(14:10):
And what you just mentionedthere is that the box is like
this stupid construct that ismeant to limit us, because it's
not that.
Oh, I don't fit in.
No, you're not meant to, you'renot meant to trap yourself in
these four walls that people gothrough life thinking that, oh,
(14:31):
if I don't dress this way, noone's going to like me.
If I'm not six foot five andmake a million dollars a month,
women don't like me.
I am five foot six".
I make nowhere near a milliondollars a month and I don't even
have a car.
Oh, if I don't wear a size 2dress, men don't like me.
(14:52):
There are men who like everysingle color, shape, size under
the sun.
But when we start thinkingabout this, bought in
expectation Of what we need tobe, we forget that hold up.
Maybe that way your voice,randomly cracked In the middle
(15:13):
of your sentence, would bereally good for you If you were
a comedian.
And wait, you always lovedcracking jokes as a kid, but the
people around you Didn't havethe same sense of humor as you.
You just need to find yourpeople and realize that the box
doesn't need to trap you.
Fatima Bey (15:32):
I say this all the time, and I did an episode a few
weeks ago, I think I called itbreaking the jeans that we put
on you.
You have to go back and look.
But I talked about the factthat we need to stop buying into
the bullshit, stop buying intobelieving everything we're told,
believing that our society sayswell, you have to fit into this
(15:52):
way, you have to go to collegethis exact way, you have to do
this.
No, we don't, at least not inthis country.
We have freedom, we have choice, and we need to start
questioning everything thatwe've been taught, because a lot
of what we've been taught isabsolute bullshit and it fits in
for others, but it doesn't fitin for us, and part of that is
(16:15):
finding out who we are as people.
Right?
Lawrence C. Harris (16:43):
Yes, and something you just touched on
that actually reminded me of theright Every news station in
America is ran by the same threecompanies.
Every news station is the samethree organizations, 95% of the
food is ran by the same two, andthe biggest producer of beef,
chicken and potatoes in theworld is McDonald's.
(17:07):
So, if I can make you, anothergreat point is I learned this
while working at McDonald's.
So anyone who listened to this,you're not going to want to eat
McDonald's, mcdonald's,mcdonald's has actual contracts
(17:28):
with hospitals saying that theycannot discourage you from
eating McDonald's.
Now you would think to yourselfwell, why would they do that?
Very simple, they can't controlwhat a hospital is allowed to
say, but they can controlwhether or not we give you money
.
So you can only say what wewill pay you for.
Fatima Bey (17:44):
That goes round back to the same point Because I
think that's a whole otherconversation that I probably
will do an episode on but thefact that we are believing what
we're told.
We're believing that there'ssomething wrong with us because
we don't say things a certainway.
There's something wrong with us, like you said, because we
don't like the same things thatthe mainstream is supposed to
(18:05):
like, and a large part of it,especially for your generation,
that wasn't as far present in mygeneration, is the fact that
social media is a major part ofyour life.
It's a part of your existenceand has been your entire life.
So we had magazines and youhave social media, but magazines
weren't as intense as what youhave today.
(18:25):
So where you differ is theinfluences that you have in your
generation for what you'resupposed to be, and a lot of
it's a lie.
A lot of it's a lie, and I wantto encourage all of you out
there and I know that Lawrenceso much said so, or a little
earlier.
Encourage all of you out thereand I know that lawrence so much
said so a little earlier.
(18:45):
You do not have to be whatsociety says you need to be.
You need to find out who youare.
Yeah, and be that person, andmore than likely that will break
the mold of what they sayyou're supposed to be.
So many people spend theirwhole lives being miserable
because they're trying to fitinto a mold that other people,
who didn't create them, say thatthey're supposed to be.
Lawrence C. Harris (19:04):
Yes, and here's what here is firstly, how
you can figure out who you are,because this is such a vague
term that people throw around.
I need to find myself.
I need to figure out who I am.
Here's what you actually needto do.
You need to stop trying to find.
(19:25):
You need to uncover, becauseyou are inside of you.
Fatima Bey (19:28):
You got to repeat that about 25,000 more times.
Can you say that again?
You need to what?
Lawrence C. Harris (19:34):
You need to stop trying to find yourself and
you need to uncover it, becauseyou are inside of you.
Think of it this way right, ifI looked at you and I said, show
me you, you would say, okay,look me, I'm pointing at myself.
This is me.
(19:54):
No, it's not.
You're not your body.
Because if I can just say, oh,I'm my body, that would mean I
am everyone, I'm not everyone.
Okay, well, am I my thoughts?
Okay, well, show me where youare in your brain.
You can't point to yourself.
So that means that you arebeyond the physical.
(20:16):
Now we're getting into more oflike a spiritual thing or
religious thing.
However you want to take this,you are not defined by how you
look.
You are not defined by whatpeople say you are.
You are actually defined bywhat you say and what you
believe.
You are Great example of this,when I believe it is Exodus 3.14
(20:44):
.
Long story short for those whoaren't familiar with it Moses.
He goes up to this mountain andhe sees God and he says well,
I'm going to go back to thepeople.
Who am I supposed to say hassent me?
And God simply says say I amhas sent you.
Now, what you can take fromthis is if God himself would
(21:06):
identify as I am.
Whatever or whatever you'rethrowing after, I am, after that
eternal present.
After that, eternal I am.
That's what you claim you arethat what you are imprinting on
yourself, and the way you figureout who you genuinely and
authentically are is play acharacter, figure out what do I
(21:30):
want to be?
What sets my soul on fire whenI think about that thing I
wanted to be when I was younger?
What sets me on fire?
Is it being a a rock star?
And you come from aneighborhood of people who their
favorite genre is country, butyou want to go be a rock star.
(21:51):
If that would set your soul onfire, get that guitar and then
play around.
Try different fashion styles,try different clothing,
different hairstyles, and you'llfigure out what you genuinely
connect with, not because you'retrying to find it, but because
you're going through the layersof uncovering.
(22:12):
That's not me.
I don't want to be a doctor.
My family would tell me,Lawrence, you'd be a doctor, you
should be an engineer, youshould do this, you should do
that.
But I don't want to do that.
Right, I don't connect with it.
I connect with inspiring people, motivating them, giving them
something of substance and valuethat can change their life.
This is me.
(22:33):
And when you are yourself inevery room, you go in.
That's when you are authentic,you are genuine and the world
will bless you for that.
But before you get the blessing, people will try to put you
back into that box.
It's like the real genuine.
You cannot fit into the lifethat you were told you had to be
(22:57):
.
You were told you have to talkthis way, dress this way, look
this way.
But when you start being thereal you, it's like the rule
test you.
It says oh no, come back.
It's too dangerous out there.
It's too dangerous to try thatcareer idea that no one in your
family has done.
It's too dangerous, start yourown.
It's too dangerous to startyour own business.
It's too dangerous to wear yourhair how you want to wear your
(23:20):
hair.
It's too dangerous, come backwith us.
You can't go back Because ifyou go back you're going to
realize that you weresleepwalking.
But now your eyes have beenopened and you see the truth and
people are going to call youcrazy, they're going to call you
weird, but at the end of theday, when you connect with
(23:43):
yourself and you love yourselfgenuinely and authentically for
who and what you are.
It's like eternal bliss.
It frees you from yeah, youmight still care a little bit
about what people think of you,but you're not a prisoner to it.
Fatima Bey (24:01):
Yes, and a prisoner.
We don't want anyone to be Well.
Lawrence C. Harris (24:07):
Lawrence I.
It's like you.
It's like a prisoner mentally,but the irony is that you have
the key.
You can turn the key.
It's just once you unlock thatdoor, it ain't no going back.
You got a whole lot of friendsin the prison cell.
You got a whole lot of peoplewho spend their whole life
trapped in the box.
(24:28):
But when you decide I'm goingto leave the box, you have to
wander out into the wildernessand then find people who had the
same courage to be themselvesin a world where most people are
like I'm gonna just stay herewhere it's safe, even though the
safety is actually an illusion,because you're safe inside of a
(24:49):
prison cell.
Fatima Bey (24:53):
I like what you said about leave the box.
I think that paints a pictureof everything, most of what
you're talking about.
And, lawrence, I have verylittle words to say and that's
hard for me to do, but you'vesaid so much and you've said it
so powerfully and I'm hopingthat some of your peers, when
(25:14):
they listen to this, really taketo heart even just bits and
pieces of what you said, becauseit can change a mindset and
therefore change your mind and,as my tagline says, there's
power in shifting your thinking.
So, lawrence, thanks once againfor coming on.
Again, I'm expecting to you tosee, I'm expecting to see you
(25:34):
soar and go into much higherplaces.
To see, I'm expecting to seeyou soar and go into much higher
places.
That's just going to happen.
So, thank you again for comingon and I appreciate you.
I appreciate you coming on andtalking to our youth and
allowing the adults to hear youas well.
Lawrence C. Harris (25:50):
I appreciate being here too, and if anybody
wants to see more of my content,you can find my YouTube, tiktok
, instagram.
All of them are Lawrence CEmpowers.
Website is lawrencecharriscom.
Books are on Amazon.
Fatima Bey (26:09):
And his information will be in the show notes or the
podcast description.
Lawrence C. Harris (26:13):
Oh yeah, and you just remind me of the last
thing I meant to say too.
Oh yeah, and you just remind meof the last thing I meant to
say too.
If you happen to be a podcasthost, an event coordinator, you
are a school principal or youknow one, which you definitely
do.
You know your cousin or youraunt or your niece or nephew is
a school principal.
Email me, lawrence, at LawrenceC Harris dot com If you're in
(26:37):
America.
Fatima Bey (26:42):
I will come, and now for a mind shifting moment.
I want you to take a moment tothink about a lot of the wisdom
that you heard come out of thisyoung man who is only 19.
For the adults listening,especially you, this young man
is living proof that our youthare not wasted, that they're not
(27:03):
all lost.
In fact, there's a wholereservoir of wisdom in the ones
we're ignoring.
Just because they're youngdoesn't mean they're
inexperienced or that they lackwisdom.
Today's youth are dealing witha world you didn't.
You did not grow up in.
The world they're growing up in.
They have a lot more experiencethan you think they do.
(27:26):
Take the time to listen to ouryouth, want to solve a problem
for our youth, or involving ouryouth.
It starts with listening.
You can't solve a problem youdon't understand.
It starts with listening.
(28:02):
You can't solve a problem youdon't understand and, trust me,
you don't understand becauseyou're not in it the way they
are.
Rewind this episode.
Go back, listen again, becausehe gave you a whole cash bag of
wisdom, and I don't care how oldyou are.
So much of what he said.
Many of us still haven'tlearned yet At 30 and 50 years
old.
Go back and listen to thewisdom of a 19-year-old.
You've been listening toMindShift Power Podcast.
For complete show notes on thisepisode and to join our global
movement, find us atFatimaBaycom.
Until next time.
(28:22):
Always remember there's powerin shifting your thinking.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.