The Weight of 120%: Surrender, Survival, and the Slow Work of God

In this raw and deeply personal episode, Shawn invites you into the reality of what happens when the human body and spirit hit their limit—and how God meets us there.

Through honest storytelling, a bit of first responder dark humor, and painful reflections on identity, performance, and faith, this episode walks through the weight of living at 120% for decades—and the crash that follows. From breakdowns in the shower to burned-up backyard decks, it’s about the moments we unravel and the God who patiently, lovingly begins to rebuild.

Shawn opens up about the invisible habits trauma engrains in us—like reverting to "making contact" without realizing it—and the long, grace-filled process of re-learning how to just be human again. With vulnerability, humility, and the kind of truth only someone who's been there can share, this is an episode for anyone who's ever felt like they lost who they were... and are still waiting to see who they're becoming.

Because faith isn’t forged in our performance.
It’s found in surrender.

And even when we don’t know what the hell we’re doing—God does.
That’s enough for today.
We’ll try again tomorrow. He already knows it.