March 11, 2025 • 26 mins
In honor of International Women's Day, I whipped up this podcast to inspire you.
Here is what I am doing in 2025 to become even more amazing.
Yes, I am already amazing, and you are too.
Before we do the work to improve ourselves in any area, I suggest owning your own amazement. It just feels good.
On to the podcast!
~Courtney
I'd like to invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation with me HERE to discuss the changes you'd like to make to your body and life. These consultations are fun, powerful, and can be a catalyst for uncovering what needs to change to create a more beautiful body and life. ~ Courtney
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:06):
Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the
podcast for women who want tolose weight permanently, feel in
control around food and learnhow to stop obsessing about
their body and food, a modernway of thinking about your
weight, your body and your lifeincludes mindset. I'm body and
life coach, Courtney Gray, andeach week I'm going to teach you
(00:29):
the mindset tools that arenecessary for changing the way
you eat forever. We will uncoverwhy you're eating when you said
you were going to stop, what todo when you're really craving
something, and how important itis to decide what you want to
believe is possible for you. Ibelieve we can get in the best
shape of our lives at any age, amodern body, a modern life, all
(00:53):
starts in your mind, and whenyou learn how to manage that,
losing weight permanentlybecomes so much easier. Welcome
to the podcast. Episode 68becoming a more amazing woman in
2025today is International Women's
Day. When I woke up thismorning, I did not know that I
(01:15):
woke up this morning, and I hadintended to record a whole
nother podcast that you'll begetting next week. But I was on
Instagram, and I just saw abunch of people posting for
International Women's Day, and Ithought, Oh my God, I want to do
a podcast, even though it's notgoing to release, it's not going
to release until next Tuesday. Ithought, You know what? I really
want, just from the energy ofsupporting women and celebrating
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women. From that energy, Icreated a whole new podcast for
you. When I am creating apodcast, I really am thinking
about you, and I'm thinkingabout my clients, and I'm
thinking about what you'restruggling with right now, and
what you need to hear from me,and how you need to be inspired
and and what knowledge that Ihave, that you might not have
(01:59):
that I can give you, but thistime, I'm doing things
differently. This time I'm justsharing what I'm doing in my
life, and I hope it inspiresyou. I'm going to talk about 10
things I'm doing to continue tobecome an even more amazing
woman. Yes, you heard thatright? An even more amazing
woman I am acknowledging, like Ihave done in the past, that I am
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an amazing woman, and can yousay the same for you? I hope you
can. I hope you can actuallyconstantly look at your life and
you as a person and find yourown fabulousness. Number one, I
want to be even more intentionalwith my focus, with what I am
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allowing into my brain. Buchasaid, what you think you become.
And I remember the first time Iheard that right away. I thought
it's so true, what we become,what we give attention to, what
we allow into our lives, what weallow into our head, what we
allow to focus ourselves on? Sowhat are you giving your
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attention to? And it really mademe think to myself, What am I
giving my attention to? I'mpretty aware, but I want to be
even more aware and moreintentional with my focus. And
so let me give you an example.
So last night, I was onInstagram for a moment. One of
the things I've done in 2024 isI really decided I wanted to be
less scrolling, less scroll.
Instagram is my favorite. Soless scrolling on Instagram. I
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just didn't want to be on it asmuch. And so I've done that,
which is great. So I feel verycontrolled on Instagram. But
last night, I was on itintentionally. I was taking a
moment, and I was just kind ofscrolling, and I saw I follow
this, guy, comedian that is justhilarious, and all of a sudden
he's doing this bit, and it's onMeghan Markle. I have no idea
anything about this, but he'sdoing this bit. I guess she has
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a new show. I gathered from themhis bit and all the 1000s of
comments, and so he is basicallypoking fun at her show. It
wasn't too bad he was. It wasactually quite hilarious. I feel
like I've watched the show justby him doing the bit, and it was
just kind of funny. And you knowhow we do it's it's so
interesting. I didn't used to dothis, but I find the longer and
longer I've been on Instagram,when I like something, I
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automatically go to thecomments. Do you do that? I
didn't used to do that yearsago, but now this is another one
of the reasons why I reallywanted to feel more in control
over my social media consumptionis because not only do I watch
the thing, but for some reason,I feel compelled to read random
people's comments that I don'tknow, I don't like, I don't
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respect, I don't care about, inany way. But yet, I get some
kind of dopamine hit just byscrolling through the comments.
So maybe you're doing that aswell. It didn't used to happen,
but that's where I'm at. And soI did a little bit of that, and
I was surprised to after aboutfive I just said, Oh, I have to
stop. Let me tell you why,because I'm being intentional
with my focus. But these fivecomments I read were just
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supporting this guy's funny bit,but just. Blasting the shit out
of Meghan markles new show. Theshow is probably already on,
because these people women, itseemed like women were talking
as if they had watched the show,and they were absolutely, just
absolutely blasting it. And Ijust immediately stopped, and I
said, this is what I don't wantto do in my life. I don't want
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to be reading other people'scomments, so I stopped. So this
morning, when I checkedInstagram, I thought it was I
checked because I wanted to makea post, and I thought it was
fascinating that all the sudden,because I spent a little bit of
time in that reel, watching hisbit and then scrolling a little
bit through the comments, I nowam being targeted, not only
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Meghan markles content, but nowI'm being targeted so many
people that are not just doing abit on her show, they are hating
on her show. They are saying themost horrible things about her
show. And I just put my phonedown and I thought, I don't want
this in my life. I wish her thebest. I I know that there's
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always going to be haters.
That's part of being in abusiness, especially once you
get any kind of following,you're going to get haters. I'm
sure she understands that. I'msure it's no problem. It doesn't
surprise me, but I thought Idon't want to be a part of it. I
don't, and by being a part ofit, it means reading through the
comments, even though I wouldnever be the type of person that
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would comment on something likethat. I don't want to be a part
of it by reading it byscrolling, because the more I
give you, know this isinteresting. I wasn't I wasn't
going to say this, but it justoccurred to me that when I'm
talking about being intentionalwith my focus, the algorithm of
Instagram shows us what we arefocusing on. Right the
algorithm, the algorithm ofInstagram or Facebook, it tells
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us what we are focused on byfeeding more of it back to us.
It really is. When you thinkabout you, what you think you
become you. We become what wegive attention to. The algorithm
is actually a reflection ofthat, because I gave attention
to that last night and today, Iwas fed a bunch of viciousness
about this woman's show, and soI have to actively say, No, I
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don't want that in my life. Sowhat that's gonna look like is
re hacking the algorithm. Nexttime I go on tonight or
tomorrow, I'm going to have toscroll past those things to tell
the algorithm I don't want thisin my focus. I don't want this
in my life, right? If it'sgonna, if it comes up to Dr Mark
Hyman talking about what to eat,what not to eat, how to be
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healthy, I'm gonna watch thatbecause I want that. If I'm
gonna scroll into somethingabout glass art, I'm gonna stop.
I'm gonna watch that because Iwant that. If I'm gonna hear, if
I'm going to scroll past apositive quote, I'm going to
heart it, because I'm going totell Instagram that is what I
want my focus to be on. So askyourself, What are you giving
your attention to? And yeah, theInstagram and Facebook
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algorithm. It is a beautifulanalogy for this. What are we
giving our attention to? Okay,number two, I want to get
better, even better atsupporting myself. I feel like
I'm pretty good at this. This iswhat I help my clients do. This
is what they learn in myprogram. But I want to get even
better at it. At and when I saysupporting myself, I'm not
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talking about self care. I'm nottalking about manicures and
walks and baths, right? I'm nottalking about your hashtag self
care. I'm talking about coachingmyself. I'm talking about how do
I get better at when I'm feelinganxiety, getting myself out of
anxiety when I am feelingstressed about something, can I
actually calm myself if I amfeeling happy? Can I double down
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on the happiness if I decide Iwant to feel more peace. Can I
do that? Can I coach myself? Howcan you have your own back? How
can you gain the skill of goingfrom anxiety to calm? My hope is
that this podcast is one of thethings that helps you do that.
Number three, I want to getstronger physically. This is
going to help me be an even moreamazing woman for the rest of my
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life, as we age every year,there's the science behind this
that shows we get weaker everyyear. Unless we are actively
doing something about this, wehave to get stronger, and it is
our job to do that. If we arenot actively getting stronger,
we are actively getting weaker.
So to me, what that looks likeis moving my body constantly in
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different ways than I everthought, and really challenging
myself, pushing myself fartherthan I ever thought was
possible. And you have toremember what we think is
possible is usually based on ourpast. If I'm going to get
stronger, I have to do more thanI've done in my past. So how is
that possible? How can I look atas much as I've ever run and run
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harder or run faster or runlonger? How can I continue to
lift heavier weights or do moreweights or or do different type
of weights? It's right. So forme, getting stronger physically
is a no brainer, and for you, itshould be a no brainer too.
Number four, I want to break thefun equals food phenomenon that
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we are experiencing in modernsociety, especially here in
America. One of the biggestproblems we have here in America
is the food system is just amess. And I don't say that. I
don't want to be negative onAmerica. I love living in
America, but I it is. It is amess. And so how can we break
the food equals fun phenomenonfor everyone in the whole world,
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living in 2025I want to get better, even
though I feel like I'm alreadygood, I've already done a good
job of breaking this food equalsfun phenomenon, but I want to
get even better at it, at beingable to be sad and just either
processing through sad orcoaching myself out of sad
without turning to food, right,going to a party and having a
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the best time ever at a party,because the people that are
there I Love, or maybe I don'tlove them. Maybe I don't know
them yet, and I want to, I wantto be curious, and I want to
meet them and get to know themand build new friendships. But I
want to be able to go and notworry about the dessert table.
That's not the point. In oursociety, in 2025 we are so
wrapped up in food equaling,fun, food equaling nurturing,
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food equaling everything. Weturn to it for everything. How
can we break that? Can we beanxious and identify why and
then decide, do I want to changethis? Do I like my reasons for
being anxious is it? Does itmake sense? Do I want to change
it, or do I just want to acceptit and feel it without eating.
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So look at your life and thinkto yourself, do I have a lot of
fun tied up in food? And how canwe break that a little bit? We
don't have to break it all theway. Food is fun. Food is
delicious. But right now, it isa phenomenon. I really think
that it is significant in oursociety. It is a part of our
problem of why we are all at theweight and at the health we
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don't want to be is because wethink that food equals fun, but
there's so many other ways tohave fun, and life is so much
more fun when you're in a bodythat you feel good and you're
healthy and You feel proud of, Ithink oftentimes about when I
was a kid. I'm almost 48 yearsold. When I was a kid, food was
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fun. Back then, we had barbecuesand went on vacation and did all
the things, but it was not aphenomenon like it is now. Food
equals fun. That's not how itwas growing up. We didn't eat
all day. We didn't when I thinkabout even the youth, like when
I was 13 years old, I wasn'tgoing to Dutch Brothers two
times a day in between classes,drinking milkshakes. I wasn't
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eating all the time. I wasn'teating out. It just it wasn't
when I thought about a Fridaynight, it didn't have anything
to do with food. It had to dowith Rodney, Craig, Chris, John,
and I could go on and on. It hadto do with hanging out with my
friends. And it's so funny,because in this moment, I'm
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thinking of me at 13, and noticethat I said, all the boys. I
loved boys. I was obsessed. Iloved my girlfriends. Autumn
misdeed, you know, I had all mygirlfriends too, but I was
wanting to hang out with myfriends. It wasn't about food as
a society. It was different backthen. So we need to get back to
breaking up a little bit aboutthis. Fun equals food. How can
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fun be fun and food just be alittle bit of the plan. Every
once in a while, number fivethink bigger and better about
all areas of my life. Likemassively bigger and massively
better for what is possible.
Again, we oftentimes, when weare looking about what we think
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is possible for our future, welook and we base it on the past.
Like, for example, many of myclients, they'll tell me, Well,
I want to lose, you know, 15 to20 pounds, but in the past, I've
only done that when I went on adiet and then so they
automatically go to the past.
This is so normal. This is sonormal. I do it as well. But if
we are going to think bigger andbetter for areas of our life
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massively bigger and better, wehave to not look to the past. We
have to be willing to think thatsomething is massively possible
for us, and maybe we don't evenknow how to do it. Maybe we're
nervous we're not going to beable to do it. I'm reading a
really good book right now,actually, for like, the fourth
time, it is called 10x is easierthan 2x it's more of a business
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book, but it is just reallyhelping me think massively
bigger about all areas of mylife. The concept is that they
say, in this book, it's kind oftwo authors, they say that, like
most people do, 2x meaning thatthey think, Okay, can I, like,
double my salary, that I'm. Inevery year. Or you might think,
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Okay, I think I'm gonna I wantto lose 15 pounds. This happens
a lot. Women will come to workwith me and they'll say they
want to lose 15 pounds, and thenwhen they get to 15 pounds,
they're like, I actually wouldlike to lose five to 10 more
pounds right in the beginning.
The reason why they say 15pounds is because they really
don't believe it's possiblethat, because they don't believe
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that they can do that withoutdieting. So they're thinking
smaller, and then when they getthere, then they start thinking
bigger. And so they realize,Wow, I could actually lose even
more. It's an amazing thing. Andso this book is helping me, if
you have a business, it's anamazing it's more of an
entrepreneur book, but it is anawesome book, and it is helping
me to think massively biggerabout all areas of my life and
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what is possible, and at thesame time, can I enjoy now even
more that it's the balance ofboth. You know, we don't want to
sit here and say, I'm going tolove my body so much more when
I've lost all the weight andthen just wait until we've lost
all the weight. No, we want tothink. I am going to believe
that I can get in the best shapeat the age I am right now. I'm
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going to believe that, and I'mgoing to enjoy now while I am on
the journey to it is the balanceof both. It's beautiful. Number
six, keep figuring out what Iwant and can this be a fun
adventure. So often, I thinksometimes we feel like we don't
know exactly what we want, andit's more of like a frustration,
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like I don't really know what Iwant, and it's loaded with this
frustration and this I don'tbelieve what I want is possible,
and even if I do think of what Ireally want, and if I'm honest
with myself, and I'm not lookingto my past, and if I'm thinking
about my future, then I justthink I don't even know how to
do it and how it's possible weget really it's a little bit
torturous. And so what I'mtrying to do is keep figuring
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out what I want with joy andwith a sense of adventure. I was
talking to one of mygirlfriends, Claire, the other
day, and I was she and I weremessaging back and forth, and I
said, I because her husband justretired, and she's working. I
think she's working, like oneday less a week this year. I
think, if I'm remembering thatcorrectly, and I said, let's get
on a zoom call. I want to hearwhat you are filling your days
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with. I want to hear what youand your husband are doing. I
want to be inspired. I want to Iwant to think more about what I
want from my life, from womenthat I think are amazing. And
that's the key too, right? It'slike we can look online or hear
other people go, Oh, I don'tknow, whatever. But if we can
find people that we think areamazing and people that inspire
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us and people that we want to bea little bit more like them, I'm
like, What are you doing? Youknow, how can I set myself up to
win by following someone else'spath, that I think they're
living a great life. So I'mreally excited. She and I are
going to do a zoom call and justtalk about, like, what we want
to do with our time, where wewant to grow. And this time,
we're really focused on outsideof work, right? We've got worked
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out. We're doing all the workthings, but how can we figure
out what we want and have it befun and adventurous while we're
figuring it out. Number seven, Iwant to be an example of how to
think differently. I think Ialready am an example, but I
want to be even more an exampleof how to think differently, how
to do life differently. I wanteveryone who listens to this
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podcast to own a thought that Ihave been thinking for a long
time. I'm just getting started.
It's such an awesome thought atany age. I want to have this
thought someday when I'm veryold and I don't do as much
moving around, because my bodyis really starting to maybe
limit me. I want to think I'mjust getting started. How might
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that be true? This is availableto us at any moment. How would
your life be impacted if youallowed yourself to have that
thought? I want to be an exampleto you of how to think
differently, and that is one ofthe reasons why I love this
podcast. I love hearing fromyou. I have so many people tell
me that they love the podcastthat they're enjoying listening,
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and they feel like it's changingtheir life. It means so much to
me, and so that is something Iwant to continue to do. How can
I make sure I am like, like,help women light a fire on how
to think differently so they canlive differently. Number eight,
embrace aging. It is a fuckingprivilege to age. I know that
you, just like me, have loss inyour life. There are people
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around you that have passedaway. I know there are people
around you that havecircumstances in their life that
are far worse than any hardcircumstances that you are going
through. And so can we embraceaging and realize it is a
privilege to age. It is aprivilege to be able to age.
Well, aging is happening. I'mall in. I'm not fighting it. It
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is a privilege, and I'm here forit, and I want to do it well. I
want to continue the balance. Oflooking in the mirror and seeing
that I am aging seeing likespecifically for me. Let's break
it down. My face is getting morewrinkly. My neck definitely more
wrinkly. I see my skin,especially when I do things like
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downward dog and I look at thetops of my thighs. I see my skin
getting crepey. I see myselfaging. I'm getting more injured
than I ever did when I wasplaying sports in high school. I
see it's happening, right? Myeyes are getting I feel like my
eyes are getting worse all thetime. It's just happening. And
you might be a lot older thanme, and so you might be like,
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buckle up buttercup. I get it, Iget it right. I'm only I'm
almost 48 years old,but it's happening to me. And I
want to be like it is aprivilege the whole way through.
I want to be able to do my bestto age well, and at the same
time look at myself in themirror and say, I see the
wrinkles, I see the gray hairs.
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Sometimes I'm going to choose todo something about it, and maybe
I won't, but either way, I'mgoing to look in the mirror and
I'm going to be proud of whatI'm saying, and I'm going to
work on that, and it's a skillset. It doesn't happen
overnight. I don't want to hatemyself as I age. I don't want to
stop looking at myself in themirror. I've talked to a lot of
women, beautiful women, thatdon't look at themselves in the
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mirror. They avoid the mirror.
I'm not doing that. I refusebecause it's a privilege. So can
we do both? Can we embrace itand just be like, You know what?
I'm not going to worry aboutthis. I'm going to try not to
worry about this, but at thesame time, do my best to become
stronger and healthier. We cando both. And I think that
there's so many women that aredoing a good job, trying to eat
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good, moving their bodies allthat, and then sometimes they're
the ones not looking in themirror. That's not fair to you.
If that's you, that's not fairto you. How can we get better at
looking in the mirror and going,I see you? And you know, I
sometimes I wish I looked 20,but I don't. And can that be
okay? What do I like aboutmyself? Can I see myself the way
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the people love me see me. Can Irealize that it matters to me,
but at the same time, it doesn'tmatter? Can we hold space for
both? And there's no right orwrong way to do aging right? You
can. You can see people talkingabout Aging Gracefully. You
should do this. You shouldn't dothat. I know Pamela Anderson
been in the media a lot lately.
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She's she's not making wearingmakeup anymore. And I mean,
again, on Instagram, I took alook at some of the comments.
And my goodness. I mean, somepeople are like, you're amazing.
Other people are like, she looksdisgusting. It's just like, Oh,
my goodness. So for me, I wantto focus on me. I want to focus
on what I'm looking at in themirror and what the what I'm
saying to myself as I'm lookingPamela Anderson, can do whatever
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she wants. She's a, probably abeautiful human being. If I met
her, I'd probably think she'sbeautiful. And then I could look
at someone who has all thethings, all is doing all the
things. Demi Moore, who is,clearly is doing the makeup in
the and probably the Botox andprobably the surgeries. And you
know what? She's a beautifulhuman being too, right? There's
no right or wrong way to do it.
You get to embrace it the wayyou want to embrace it. Number
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nine, creating and findingevidence that I'm already
amazing on the way to becomingmore amazing. Can we just
acknowledge that we already arewe really are already good
enough. We already are worthyenough. We are great as is and
but can we get more amazing justfor the fun of it, just because
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it is exciting and it's achallenge, we don't need to be
to be more valued. This is alljust about having more fun.
You're good right now, but whatcould you do to become even more
amazing, just for the fun of it?
Okay, that was a quick one. I'mgoing into number 10. My Word of
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the Year is connect. And when Isay connect, it really is to me,
connecting to me and touniversal energy. For you, you
might say, connect to God. Youmight say to you, whatever. Who
do you want to connect to? Whatdo you want to connect to in
order to feel the way you wantto feel, in order for me to
become even more amazing, inorder for me to live an even
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more amazing life, I have to beconnected. I have to be
connected to myself. I have tobe connected emotionally to my
children and my husband. I haveto be connected to my clients. I
have to be connected to youlistening to the podcast, to my
purpose of what I'm trying toput out there in the world. I
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want to just feel like I'm proudof what I am doing with my life.
And if I am, if I am connected,if I am feeling proud, it makes
everything better. So I amalways looking at how to be more
connected. I do this throughmeditation. I do this through
journaling. I do this throughreally being intentional, like
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number one, being intentionalwith what I focus on and what I
let into my life. And I findthat when I feel connected, I
make. Better choices. I pushmyself farther than I normally
would push myself. I allowedmyself to be scared, and I do it
anyways. I allow myself to beworried, and I still make
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decisions. So ask yourself, doyou feel connected? First of
all, I guess, decide who youwant to be connected to. Is it
yourself? Is it God? Is ituniversal energy? Is it is it
your future self? Who do youwant to be connected to? What do
you want to be connected to? Andhow can you do that on a daily,
day, daily basis? Maybe you wantto connect to love, the
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universal energy of love. Andhow would your life change if
you spent more time there? So itmight be fun for you to make
your own list of things you'regoing to do to become an even
more amazing woman in 2025 HappyInternational Women's Day. I
think women are amazing, and Icelebrate you. Have a great
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Tuesday. If you are ready tolose weight and keep it off
permanently and feel confidentand at peace around food. I
invite you to head to CourtneyGray coaching.com to learn about
how to work with me. I work withwomen privately, one on one, and
I also offer small groupcoaching. There is a link to my
website in the show notes you.
Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the
podcast for women who want tolose weight permanently, feel in
control around food and learnhow to stop obsessing about
their body and food, a modernway of thinking about your
weight, your body and your lifeincludes mindset. I'm body and
life coach, Courtney Gray, andeach week I'm going to teach you
(00:29):
the mindset tools that arenecessary for changing the way
you eat forever. We will uncoverwhy you're eating when you said
you were going to stop, what todo when you're really craving
something, and how important itis to decide what you want to
believe is possible for you. Ibelieve we can get in the best
shape of our lives at any age, amodern body, a modern life, all
(00:53):
starts in your mind, and whenyou learn how to manage that,
losing weight permanentlybecomes so much easier. Welcome
to the podcast. Episode 68becoming a more amazing woman in
2025today is International Women's
Day. When I woke up thismorning, I did not know that I
(01:15):
woke up this morning, and I hadintended to record a whole
nother podcast that you'll begetting next week. But I was on
Instagram, and I just saw abunch of people posting for
International Women's Day, and Ithought, Oh my God, I want to do
a podcast, even though it's notgoing to release, it's not going
to release until next Tuesday. Ithought, You know what? I really
want, just from the energy ofsupporting women and celebrating
(01:37):
women. From that energy, Icreated a whole new podcast for
you. When I am creating apodcast, I really am thinking
about you, and I'm thinkingabout my clients, and I'm
thinking about what you'restruggling with right now, and
what you need to hear from me,and how you need to be inspired
and and what knowledge that Ihave, that you might not have
(01:59):
that I can give you, but thistime, I'm doing things
differently. This time I'm justsharing what I'm doing in my
life, and I hope it inspiresyou. I'm going to talk about 10
things I'm doing to continue tobecome an even more amazing
woman. Yes, you heard thatright? An even more amazing
woman I am acknowledging, like Ihave done in the past, that I am
(02:20):
an amazing woman, and can yousay the same for you? I hope you
can. I hope you can actuallyconstantly look at your life and
you as a person and find yourown fabulousness. Number one, I
want to be even more intentionalwith my focus, with what I am
(02:42):
allowing into my brain. Buchasaid, what you think you become.
And I remember the first time Iheard that right away. I thought
it's so true, what we become,what we give attention to, what
we allow into our lives, what weallow into our head, what we
allow to focus ourselves on? Sowhat are you giving your
(03:04):
attention to? And it really mademe think to myself, What am I
giving my attention to? I'mpretty aware, but I want to be
even more aware and moreintentional with my focus. And
so let me give you an example.
So last night, I was onInstagram for a moment. One of
the things I've done in 2024 isI really decided I wanted to be
less scrolling, less scroll.
Instagram is my favorite. Soless scrolling on Instagram. I
(03:28):
just didn't want to be on it asmuch. And so I've done that,
which is great. So I feel verycontrolled on Instagram. But
last night, I was on itintentionally. I was taking a
moment, and I was just kind ofscrolling, and I saw I follow
this, guy, comedian that is justhilarious, and all of a sudden
he's doing this bit, and it's onMeghan Markle. I have no idea
anything about this, but he'sdoing this bit. I guess she has
(03:49):
a new show. I gathered from themhis bit and all the 1000s of
comments, and so he is basicallypoking fun at her show. It
wasn't too bad he was. It wasactually quite hilarious. I feel
like I've watched the show justby him doing the bit, and it was
just kind of funny. And you knowhow we do it's it's so
interesting. I didn't used to dothis, but I find the longer and
longer I've been on Instagram,when I like something, I
(04:11):
automatically go to thecomments. Do you do that? I
didn't used to do that yearsago, but now this is another one
of the reasons why I reallywanted to feel more in control
over my social media consumptionis because not only do I watch
the thing, but for some reason,I feel compelled to read random
people's comments that I don'tknow, I don't like, I don't
(04:32):
respect, I don't care about, inany way. But yet, I get some
kind of dopamine hit just byscrolling through the comments.
So maybe you're doing that aswell. It didn't used to happen,
but that's where I'm at. And soI did a little bit of that, and
I was surprised to after aboutfive I just said, Oh, I have to
stop. Let me tell you why,because I'm being intentional
with my focus. But these fivecomments I read were just
(04:55):
supporting this guy's funny bit,but just. Blasting the shit out
of Meghan markles new show. Theshow is probably already on,
because these people women, itseemed like women were talking
as if they had watched the show,and they were absolutely, just
absolutely blasting it. And Ijust immediately stopped, and I
said, this is what I don't wantto do in my life. I don't want
(05:16):
to be reading other people'scomments, so I stopped. So this
morning, when I checkedInstagram, I thought it was I
checked because I wanted to makea post, and I thought it was
fascinating that all the sudden,because I spent a little bit of
time in that reel, watching hisbit and then scrolling a little
bit through the comments, I nowam being targeted, not only
(05:39):
Meghan markles content, but nowI'm being targeted so many
people that are not just doing abit on her show, they are hating
on her show. They are saying themost horrible things about her
show. And I just put my phonedown and I thought, I don't want
this in my life. I wish her thebest. I I know that there's
(06:00):
always going to be haters.
That's part of being in abusiness, especially once you
get any kind of following,you're going to get haters. I'm
sure she understands that. I'msure it's no problem. It doesn't
surprise me, but I thought Idon't want to be a part of it. I
don't, and by being a part ofit, it means reading through the
comments, even though I wouldnever be the type of person that
(06:21):
would comment on something likethat. I don't want to be a part
of it by reading it byscrolling, because the more I
give you, know this isinteresting. I wasn't I wasn't
going to say this, but it justoccurred to me that when I'm
talking about being intentionalwith my focus, the algorithm of
Instagram shows us what we arefocusing on. Right the
algorithm, the algorithm ofInstagram or Facebook, it tells
(06:44):
us what we are focused on byfeeding more of it back to us.
It really is. When you thinkabout you, what you think you
become you. We become what wegive attention to. The algorithm
is actually a reflection ofthat, because I gave attention
to that last night and today, Iwas fed a bunch of viciousness
about this woman's show, and soI have to actively say, No, I
(07:07):
don't want that in my life. Sowhat that's gonna look like is
re hacking the algorithm. Nexttime I go on tonight or
tomorrow, I'm going to have toscroll past those things to tell
the algorithm I don't want thisin my focus. I don't want this
in my life, right? If it'sgonna, if it comes up to Dr Mark
Hyman talking about what to eat,what not to eat, how to be
(07:30):
healthy, I'm gonna watch thatbecause I want that. If I'm
gonna scroll into somethingabout glass art, I'm gonna stop.
I'm gonna watch that because Iwant that. If I'm gonna hear, if
I'm going to scroll past apositive quote, I'm going to
heart it, because I'm going totell Instagram that is what I
want my focus to be on. So askyourself, What are you giving
your attention to? And yeah, theInstagram and Facebook
(07:53):
algorithm. It is a beautifulanalogy for this. What are we
giving our attention to? Okay,number two, I want to get
better, even better atsupporting myself. I feel like
I'm pretty good at this. This iswhat I help my clients do. This
is what they learn in myprogram. But I want to get even
better at it. At and when I saysupporting myself, I'm not
(08:13):
talking about self care. I'm nottalking about manicures and
walks and baths, right? I'm nottalking about your hashtag self
care. I'm talking about coachingmyself. I'm talking about how do
I get better at when I'm feelinganxiety, getting myself out of
anxiety when I am feelingstressed about something, can I
actually calm myself if I amfeeling happy? Can I double down
(08:38):
on the happiness if I decide Iwant to feel more peace. Can I
do that? Can I coach myself? Howcan you have your own back? How
can you gain the skill of goingfrom anxiety to calm? My hope is
that this podcast is one of thethings that helps you do that.
Number three, I want to getstronger physically. This is
going to help me be an even moreamazing woman for the rest of my
(09:01):
life, as we age every year,there's the science behind this
that shows we get weaker everyyear. Unless we are actively
doing something about this, wehave to get stronger, and it is
our job to do that. If we arenot actively getting stronger,
we are actively getting weaker.
So to me, what that looks likeis moving my body constantly in
(09:23):
different ways than I everthought, and really challenging
myself, pushing myself fartherthan I ever thought was
possible. And you have toremember what we think is
possible is usually based on ourpast. If I'm going to get
stronger, I have to do more thanI've done in my past. So how is
that possible? How can I look atas much as I've ever run and run
(09:47):
harder or run faster or runlonger? How can I continue to
lift heavier weights or do moreweights or or do different type
of weights? It's right. So forme, getting stronger physically
is a no brainer, and for you, itshould be a no brainer too.
Number four, I want to break thefun equals food phenomenon that
(10:09):
we are experiencing in modernsociety, especially here in
America. One of the biggestproblems we have here in America
is the food system is just amess. And I don't say that. I
don't want to be negative onAmerica. I love living in
America, but I it is. It is amess. And so how can we break
the food equals fun phenomenonfor everyone in the whole world,
(10:32):
living in 2025I want to get better, even
though I feel like I'm alreadygood, I've already done a good
job of breaking this food equalsfun phenomenon, but I want to
get even better at it, at beingable to be sad and just either
processing through sad orcoaching myself out of sad
without turning to food, right,going to a party and having a
(10:54):
the best time ever at a party,because the people that are
there I Love, or maybe I don'tlove them. Maybe I don't know
them yet, and I want to, I wantto be curious, and I want to
meet them and get to know themand build new friendships. But I
want to be able to go and notworry about the dessert table.
That's not the point. In oursociety, in 2025 we are so
wrapped up in food equaling,fun, food equaling nurturing,
(11:19):
food equaling everything. Weturn to it for everything. How
can we break that? Can we beanxious and identify why and
then decide, do I want to changethis? Do I like my reasons for
being anxious is it? Does itmake sense? Do I want to change
it, or do I just want to acceptit and feel it without eating.
(11:39):
So look at your life and thinkto yourself, do I have a lot of
fun tied up in food? And how canwe break that a little bit? We
don't have to break it all theway. Food is fun. Food is
delicious. But right now, it isa phenomenon. I really think
that it is significant in oursociety. It is a part of our
problem of why we are all at theweight and at the health we
(12:03):
don't want to be is because wethink that food equals fun, but
there's so many other ways tohave fun, and life is so much
more fun when you're in a bodythat you feel good and you're
healthy and You feel proud of, Ithink oftentimes about when I
was a kid. I'm almost 48 yearsold. When I was a kid, food was
(12:24):
fun. Back then, we had barbecuesand went on vacation and did all
the things, but it was not aphenomenon like it is now. Food
equals fun. That's not how itwas growing up. We didn't eat
all day. We didn't when I thinkabout even the youth, like when
I was 13 years old, I wasn'tgoing to Dutch Brothers two
times a day in between classes,drinking milkshakes. I wasn't
(12:47):
eating all the time. I wasn'teating out. It just it wasn't
when I thought about a Fridaynight, it didn't have anything
to do with food. It had to dowith Rodney, Craig, Chris, John,
and I could go on and on. It hadto do with hanging out with my
friends. And it's so funny,because in this moment, I'm
(13:09):
thinking of me at 13, and noticethat I said, all the boys. I
loved boys. I was obsessed. Iloved my girlfriends. Autumn
misdeed, you know, I had all mygirlfriends too, but I was
wanting to hang out with myfriends. It wasn't about food as
a society. It was different backthen. So we need to get back to
breaking up a little bit aboutthis. Fun equals food. How can
(13:32):
fun be fun and food just be alittle bit of the plan. Every
once in a while, number fivethink bigger and better about
all areas of my life. Likemassively bigger and massively
better for what is possible.
Again, we oftentimes, when weare looking about what we think
(13:54):
is possible for our future, welook and we base it on the past.
Like, for example, many of myclients, they'll tell me, Well,
I want to lose, you know, 15 to20 pounds, but in the past, I've
only done that when I went on adiet and then so they
automatically go to the past.
This is so normal. This is sonormal. I do it as well. But if
we are going to think bigger andbetter for areas of our life
(14:17):
massively bigger and better, wehave to not look to the past. We
have to be willing to think thatsomething is massively possible
for us, and maybe we don't evenknow how to do it. Maybe we're
nervous we're not going to beable to do it. I'm reading a
really good book right now,actually, for like, the fourth
time, it is called 10x is easierthan 2x it's more of a business
(14:38):
book, but it is just reallyhelping me think massively
bigger about all areas of mylife. The concept is that they
say, in this book, it's kind oftwo authors, they say that, like
most people do, 2x meaning thatthey think, Okay, can I, like,
double my salary, that I'm. Inevery year. Or you might think,
(15:00):
Okay, I think I'm gonna I wantto lose 15 pounds. This happens
a lot. Women will come to workwith me and they'll say they
want to lose 15 pounds, and thenwhen they get to 15 pounds,
they're like, I actually wouldlike to lose five to 10 more
pounds right in the beginning.
The reason why they say 15pounds is because they really
don't believe it's possiblethat, because they don't believe
(15:20):
that they can do that withoutdieting. So they're thinking
smaller, and then when they getthere, then they start thinking
bigger. And so they realize,Wow, I could actually lose even
more. It's an amazing thing. Andso this book is helping me, if
you have a business, it's anamazing it's more of an
entrepreneur book, but it is anawesome book, and it is helping
me to think massively biggerabout all areas of my life and
(15:44):
what is possible, and at thesame time, can I enjoy now even
more that it's the balance ofboth. You know, we don't want to
sit here and say, I'm going tolove my body so much more when
I've lost all the weight andthen just wait until we've lost
all the weight. No, we want tothink. I am going to believe
that I can get in the best shapeat the age I am right now. I'm
(16:06):
going to believe that, and I'mgoing to enjoy now while I am on
the journey to it is the balanceof both. It's beautiful. Number
six, keep figuring out what Iwant and can this be a fun
adventure. So often, I thinksometimes we feel like we don't
know exactly what we want, andit's more of like a frustration,
(16:26):
like I don't really know what Iwant, and it's loaded with this
frustration and this I don'tbelieve what I want is possible,
and even if I do think of what Ireally want, and if I'm honest
with myself, and I'm not lookingto my past, and if I'm thinking
about my future, then I justthink I don't even know how to
do it and how it's possible weget really it's a little bit
torturous. And so what I'mtrying to do is keep figuring
(16:48):
out what I want with joy andwith a sense of adventure. I was
talking to one of mygirlfriends, Claire, the other
day, and I was she and I weremessaging back and forth, and I
said, I because her husband justretired, and she's working. I
think she's working, like oneday less a week this year. I
think, if I'm remembering thatcorrectly, and I said, let's get
on a zoom call. I want to hearwhat you are filling your days
(17:10):
with. I want to hear what youand your husband are doing. I
want to be inspired. I want to Iwant to think more about what I
want from my life, from womenthat I think are amazing. And
that's the key too, right? It'slike we can look online or hear
other people go, Oh, I don'tknow, whatever. But if we can
find people that we think areamazing and people that inspire
(17:32):
us and people that we want to bea little bit more like them, I'm
like, What are you doing? Youknow, how can I set myself up to
win by following someone else'spath, that I think they're
living a great life. So I'mreally excited. She and I are
going to do a zoom call and justtalk about, like, what we want
to do with our time, where wewant to grow. And this time,
we're really focused on outsideof work, right? We've got worked
(17:55):
out. We're doing all the workthings, but how can we figure
out what we want and have it befun and adventurous while we're
figuring it out. Number seven, Iwant to be an example of how to
think differently. I think Ialready am an example, but I
want to be even more an exampleof how to think differently, how
to do life differently. I wanteveryone who listens to this
(18:17):
podcast to own a thought that Ihave been thinking for a long
time. I'm just getting started.
It's such an awesome thought atany age. I want to have this
thought someday when I'm veryold and I don't do as much
moving around, because my bodyis really starting to maybe
limit me. I want to think I'mjust getting started. How might
(18:40):
that be true? This is availableto us at any moment. How would
your life be impacted if youallowed yourself to have that
thought? I want to be an exampleto you of how to think
differently, and that is one ofthe reasons why I love this
podcast. I love hearing fromyou. I have so many people tell
me that they love the podcastthat they're enjoying listening,
(19:03):
and they feel like it's changingtheir life. It means so much to
me, and so that is something Iwant to continue to do. How can
I make sure I am like, like,help women light a fire on how
to think differently so they canlive differently. Number eight,
embrace aging. It is a fuckingprivilege to age. I know that
you, just like me, have loss inyour life. There are people
(19:27):
around you that have passedaway. I know there are people
around you that havecircumstances in their life that
are far worse than any hardcircumstances that you are going
through. And so can we embraceaging and realize it is a
privilege to age. It is aprivilege to be able to age.
Well, aging is happening. I'mall in. I'm not fighting it. It
(19:51):
is a privilege, and I'm here forit, and I want to do it well. I
want to continue the balance. Oflooking in the mirror and seeing
that I am aging seeing likespecifically for me. Let's break
it down. My face is getting morewrinkly. My neck definitely more
wrinkly. I see my skin,especially when I do things like
(20:12):
downward dog and I look at thetops of my thighs. I see my skin
getting crepey. I see myselfaging. I'm getting more injured
than I ever did when I wasplaying sports in high school. I
see it's happening, right? Myeyes are getting I feel like my
eyes are getting worse all thetime. It's just happening. And
you might be a lot older thanme, and so you might be like,
(20:32):
buckle up buttercup. I get it, Iget it right. I'm only I'm
almost 48 years old,but it's happening to me. And I
want to be like it is aprivilege the whole way through.
I want to be able to do my bestto age well, and at the same
time look at myself in themirror and say, I see the
wrinkles, I see the gray hairs.
(20:53):
Sometimes I'm going to choose todo something about it, and maybe
I won't, but either way, I'mgoing to look in the mirror and
I'm going to be proud of whatI'm saying, and I'm going to
work on that, and it's a skillset. It doesn't happen
overnight. I don't want to hatemyself as I age. I don't want to
stop looking at myself in themirror. I've talked to a lot of
women, beautiful women, thatdon't look at themselves in the
(21:14):
mirror. They avoid the mirror.
I'm not doing that. I refusebecause it's a privilege. So can
we do both? Can we embrace itand just be like, You know what?
I'm not going to worry aboutthis. I'm going to try not to
worry about this, but at thesame time, do my best to become
stronger and healthier. We cando both. And I think that
there's so many women that aredoing a good job, trying to eat
(21:37):
good, moving their bodies allthat, and then sometimes they're
the ones not looking in themirror. That's not fair to you.
If that's you, that's not fairto you. How can we get better at
looking in the mirror and going,I see you? And you know, I
sometimes I wish I looked 20,but I don't. And can that be
okay? What do I like aboutmyself? Can I see myself the way
(21:58):
the people love me see me. Can Irealize that it matters to me,
but at the same time, it doesn'tmatter? Can we hold space for
both? And there's no right orwrong way to do aging right? You
can. You can see people talkingabout Aging Gracefully. You
should do this. You shouldn't dothat. I know Pamela Anderson
been in the media a lot lately.
(22:19):
She's she's not making wearingmakeup anymore. And I mean,
again, on Instagram, I took alook at some of the comments.
And my goodness. I mean, somepeople are like, you're amazing.
Other people are like, she looksdisgusting. It's just like, Oh,
my goodness. So for me, I wantto focus on me. I want to focus
on what I'm looking at in themirror and what the what I'm
saying to myself as I'm lookingPamela Anderson, can do whatever
(22:42):
she wants. She's a, probably abeautiful human being. If I met
her, I'd probably think she'sbeautiful. And then I could look
at someone who has all thethings, all is doing all the
things. Demi Moore, who is,clearly is doing the makeup in
the and probably the Botox andprobably the surgeries. And you
know what? She's a beautifulhuman being too, right? There's
no right or wrong way to do it.
You get to embrace it the wayyou want to embrace it. Number
(23:03):
nine, creating and findingevidence that I'm already
amazing on the way to becomingmore amazing. Can we just
acknowledge that we already arewe really are already good
enough. We already are worthyenough. We are great as is and
but can we get more amazing justfor the fun of it, just because
(23:24):
it is exciting and it's achallenge, we don't need to be
to be more valued. This is alljust about having more fun.
You're good right now, but whatcould you do to become even more
amazing, just for the fun of it?
Okay, that was a quick one. I'mgoing into number 10. My Word of
(23:44):
the Year is connect. And when Isay connect, it really is to me,
connecting to me and touniversal energy. For you, you
might say, connect to God. Youmight say to you, whatever. Who
do you want to connect to? Whatdo you want to connect to in
order to feel the way you wantto feel, in order for me to
become even more amazing, inorder for me to live an even
(24:07):
more amazing life, I have to beconnected. I have to be
connected to myself. I have tobe connected emotionally to my
children and my husband. I haveto be connected to my clients. I
have to be connected to youlistening to the podcast, to my
purpose of what I'm trying toput out there in the world. I
(24:27):
want to just feel like I'm proudof what I am doing with my life.
And if I am, if I am connected,if I am feeling proud, it makes
everything better. So I amalways looking at how to be more
connected. I do this throughmeditation. I do this through
journaling. I do this throughreally being intentional, like
(24:50):
number one, being intentionalwith what I focus on and what I
let into my life. And I findthat when I feel connected, I
make. Better choices. I pushmyself farther than I normally
would push myself. I allowedmyself to be scared, and I do it
anyways. I allow myself to beworried, and I still make
(25:12):
decisions. So ask yourself, doyou feel connected? First of
all, I guess, decide who youwant to be connected to. Is it
yourself? Is it God? Is ituniversal energy? Is it is it
your future self? Who do youwant to be connected to? What do
you want to be connected to? Andhow can you do that on a daily,
day, daily basis? Maybe you wantto connect to love, the
(25:35):
universal energy of love. Andhow would your life change if
you spent more time there? So itmight be fun for you to make
your own list of things you'regoing to do to become an even
more amazing woman in 2025 HappyInternational Women's Day. I
think women are amazing, and Icelebrate you. Have a great
(25:55):
Tuesday. If you are ready tolose weight and keep it off
permanently and feel confidentand at peace around food. I
invite you to head to CourtneyGray coaching.com to learn about
how to work with me. I work withwomen privately, one on one, and
I also offer small groupcoaching. There is a link to my
website in the show notes you.
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