March 4, 2025 • 19 mins
This podcast is especially for you if you are doing well. You are eating better, losing weight, and overall doing better than you have in the past.
BUT, have you hit a plateau? Do you feel like you are doing better than you used to, so you are comfortable and cozy but have lost some of the fire to keep going to your big goal?
This is so normal. I am going to break down why we do this and how to light your fire again so you can lose all the weight you want to lose.
And remember, this is permanent weight loss, not a diet. I am always talking about you eating better forever, becoming the woman who lives differently.
I'd like to invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation with me HERE to discuss the changes you'd like to make to your body and life. These consultations are fun, powerful, and can be a catalyst for uncovering what needs to change to create a more beautiful body and life. ~ Courtney
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:06):
Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the
podcast for women who want tolose weight permanently, feel in
control around food and learnhow to stop obsessing about
their body and food, a modernway of thinking about your
weight, your body and your lifeincludes mindset. I'm body and
life coach, Courtney Gray, andeach week I'm going to teach you
(00:29):
the mindset tools that arenecessary for changing the way
you eat forever. We will uncoverwhy you're eating when you said
you were going to stop, what todo when you're really craving
something, and how important itis to decide what you want to
believe is possible for you. Ibelieve we can get in the best
shape of our lives at any age, amodern body, a modern life, all
(00:53):
starts in your mind, and whenyou learn how to manage that,
losing weight permanentlybecomes so much easier.
Welcome to the Podcast, episode67 going from good to great. I
am really excited about thispodcast today. It's something
I've been thinking about for afew weeks. As you know, I've
(01:16):
said before with my clients andwith my group coaching program.
It's amazing how there arethemes that start happening.
People start coming to the callsand saying, Gosh, you know, this
is where I'm struggling. And Istart seeing themes happening
with my private clients and withmy group coaching clients. And
so this is a theme I have seenover and over again in the last
(01:38):
few weeks, and I think it isgoing to be profound for you. If
you are my client, strap in, getready to dive into this on our
calls in the next few weeks. Butalso, for those of you listening
to the podcast, the idea fromyou going from good to great.
What I mean by going from goodto great is a pattern I see
(01:58):
happening, is when people startto do better, they start losing
some weight, they startovercoming some bad habits. So
maybe you feel like you're doinga little bit better with your
snacking. Maybe you feel likeyou're you've lost a few pounds,
maybe 1015, pounds, and you'relike things are going well, and
as you're doing better andbetter and better, sometimes
(02:19):
what can happen is we can lose alittle bit of our fire to really
keep going towards the end goal.
I'll give you an example of whatI saw with one of my clients
this week, where I finally waslike, that's it. I like, snapped
my hands together after thecall, and I said, this is
something I need to talk about,because I'm seeing it over and
over and over again. So forexample, one of my clients, she
wants to lose like, 25 to 30pounds, and so she gets to this
(02:39):
point where she's lost 10 andshe's so proud of herself, which
she should be, that's part ofour work together is really
having her feel proud ofherself. Because what a lot of
people do is they kind of beratethemselves, and they kind of
begrudge the whole process untilthey've lost all the weight
they've wanted to lose. Have youever done that before, where
maybe you're on a diet, or maybeyou're doing a program, and
(03:02):
you're you have this vision of,like, when I lose my my goal,
when I get to my goal weight,I'm going to feel amazing, but
in the process, this kind ofsucks, and like, I'm just doing
it, and it's like you're it'slike you're delaying happiness.
And so in my program, we don'tdo that. I want my clients to
feel proud and feel excited fortheir end goal, even if they're
(03:23):
not at their end goal yet,beautiful, beautiful work. But
sometimes what can happen isbecause we're feeling so much
better, right? Our goal is 25pounds, maybe we've lost 10.
We've really broken through someof our bad habits, and we are
doing so much better. We aredoing good. It's a good thing,
except for there's a sneakylittle something that I want you
(03:46):
to be aware of. Sometimes, whenwe're doing good, we've gotten
rid of some of the pain fromwhere we were at. Especially
this happens, especially when Isee, when people start working
with me, where they come in,they're like, I am at my highest
weight I've ever been. Or I amat a place where I don't even
work out anymore. I've neverbeen to that place, or I just
(04:07):
went to the doctor, and mynumbers are bad, right? So
there's a lot of pain now, notphysical pain, but emotional
pain involved at that point. Sothen sometimes where we get to
where some of that pain haseased off. We're doing good, and
then we can get stuck in thegood river, the river of good.
We want to get to the bank onthe other side, where it's
(04:33):
great. We want to lose that,let's just say 25 pounds. We've
lost 10. We're in the river.
We're doing good, but we want toget to 25 pounds down. What can
happen is people can just stayin the good it can keep you from
reaching your big goals ofwanting to feel great because
(04:54):
the pain is no longer there.
You're proud, you're happy,you're doing better. Maybe
you're even eating better thanyou really ever have, and so
you're just doing good in orderto keep going, in order to
continue on, in order to reachthat amazing, great goal, you're
probably going to have to feelsome more negative emotion.
(05:16):
You're probably going to have tobreak through some more bad
habits of thinking and acting,and what that is going to take
is you going to your own nextlevel, and that is hard,
especially since you're like butI'm doing so much better. I'm
eating better than I ever have.
(05:37):
I'm moving more consistentlythan I ever have. You get stuck
in this, uh, but I'm doing it,yes, but you want to get to
great. You want to blow yourmind with where you want to get.
In order to keep going, you aregoing to have to do better than
(05:57):
good again. There are two sidesto this. On the one hand, you
want to be proud that you'reeating better than you have
before, that you're managingyour mind. Maybe you're doing a
little journaling. You're you'velost weight. People are telling
you, oh my gosh, you look sogreat, and you're so proud.
Maybe your partner is is saying,I'm so proud of you. It all
feels so good. But at the sametime, I encourage you to notice
(06:21):
that some of the pain is gone,some of the getting dressed in
the morning, that pain is notit's not as painful, but is
there still some pain? Is someof the fire gone? And can you
relight that fire? I reallybelieve we constantly need to be
relighting the fire. I want youto get to your goal weight, and
(06:42):
then think what is next for me,and then what is next for me,
and what is next for me, andconstantly be going from your
own good to great. Okay, so ifyou resonate with this, and
you're like on the edge of yourseat, like, Yes, I think this
might be happening to me. Ididn't even know. And the beauty
of this conversation is, whenI've had it over the last few
(07:03):
weeks with some of my clients,they're like, Oh, my God, I
really think you're right. Ididn't even know. And again,
because with my clients, wefocus on being proud, being
excited, you know, feeling thegood feelings now, but we also
want to go back to but are we atour goal? Are we feeling
amazing? Is there still morework for us? So what needs to
(07:27):
happen if you resonate withthis? So if you feel like, Yes,
I think you're right, Courtney,I think you're onto something,
the first thing that needs tohappen is radical honesty. Are
you stuck in the good and that'sgreat. That's great to be proud
again. We don't want to takeaway the proud. We don't want to
mentally whip ourselves to say,I'm not asking you to say, you
know we've done good, but Jesus,you really have let your you
know, your foot off the gas.
That's not what I'm asking youto do. I'm asking you from a
(07:49):
place of excitement and love andinspiration, am I stuck in the
good this is a good thing. Ifyou're like, Yes, I am
beautiful. That means thatthere's so much more potential
for you. So radical honesty. Areyou stuck in the good and then
the second question askyourself, what do I truly
desire? What do you truly want?
(08:13):
And why do you want? It is yourwhy? Compelling enough.
Sometimes one of the problems iswe get stuck in this. I'm doing
good is because we don't have astrong enough why to why. Our
our true desire, our big goalmight not be compelling enough.
And your why, you get to choose.
And many times as you're goingthrough this process, your why
(08:35):
will probably change. Your WHYmight have been in the
beginning. I want my numbers toget be better, you know, any
kind of when I say numbers, Ijust mean, when we go to the
doctor, there's a whole bunch ofdifferent tests, you know. And
sometimes they'll say, oh, wow,you're doing really well here
with your cholesterol, or you'redoing really well here with your
blood pressure. These thingsmight be going better for you
right now. Okay, so what is yournew why your maybe your old Why
(08:58):
was to get some better numberswhen you go to the doctor,
you're there. What is your newwhy? And be on to yourself that
your Why does not need to besome magical, earth shattering,
life changing for everyone else.
Why? It could just be summer's afucking coming and you want to
(09:18):
look a certain way in yourswimsuit. You want to feel a
certain way in your swimsuit,that is enough of a why. Don't
think that it has to impacteveryone positively. It can just
be good for you. That's okay,but maybe you need to upgrade
your why. Maybe the why you hadto get to where you are has been
great, but you need a new why toget to where you're going. Let
(09:40):
me say that again, because Ithink it's pretty powerful.
Maybe the old why you had thattook you from pain to good was
great for that moment in yourlife, but you maybe need a new
why to go from good to great.
And what do you want that why tobe and be careful women, our why
usually. Centers around everyoneelse. Our Why is like, I want to
(10:01):
be there for my kids. No, no.
What is your why? If you'rebeing radically honest with
yourself, yes, be there for thekids. Anything we do for
ourselves is going to benefitothers. But why for you, even if
it's totally selfish, even ifit's because when you take your
clothes off in front of yourpartner, you want to feel like
you look good. Maybe you want tojust get up and down things
(10:26):
better. Maybe you want to justfeel like you look really great.
Maybe you maybe you have abikini right now that's that's
been that you were last summer,or a bathing suit, not just a
bikini, a bathing suit of somesort, that you wore last summer.
And you feel like if I lost1015, 20 more pounds, I would
actually have to buy a newbikini. How fun would that be?
(10:47):
That is a powerful why? So doyou need to upgrade your Why do
you need to come up with abetter reason for why you want
to keep going to your own nextlevel? Do you have a powerful
vision of you at that goalweight, or at that fitness
level, or at that consistency. Iknow for a lot of people,
(11:08):
they're like, yes, I want tolose weight. Yes, I have a goal,
but I just want to become thewoman that is consistent. I want
to feel like it's just what Ido. I remember a few years ago,
one of our good friends broughthis new wife over to to our
house, and I remember she and Iwere talking, and she's a
runner, and she just said thatshe doesn't matter where she is.
It doesn't matter what when shegets home, she runs a few miles
(11:32):
every day. She was if we gethome from a road trip at six
o'clock, I'm out. I'm running.
My husband knows I'm I'mrunning. And I was like, What?
What is happening? Like, IThat's not how I am. If I go on
a long road trip, I'm notrunning at 6pm at night. But
there was a little part of methat's like, I want that. There
was a little envy, a littlelike, I really was, like, she's
amazing. I want that. And so I'mnot, I don't want to run. But
(11:56):
what do? What can I do to beher? What can I do to be that
kind of person that isconsistent, even if I get home
late, right? So what kind ofvision do you need of who you
want to become, and do you likeyour why to get there? Also,
here's a question to askyourself, can you acknowledge
(12:16):
that you're still in some pain,even though you are focused on
feeling good and feeling proudand really, you know, driving
your thoughts to the positive,take a moment and go, is there
still some pain that I'm goingthrough? It? Would I like to be
a little bit smaller? Am I stillkind of not where I want to be?
Do I still want to feel evenbetter? Do I still not quite
(12:38):
feel like me in my body. Can wenod to the fact that we're not
living up to our big potential?
I really believe that if we arenot achieving what we truly
desire, what is available to us,we are not living up to our full
potential. And I also believethat if we want it, it is
(13:02):
possible for us to achieve it. Ireally believe that, especially
when it comes to our bodies, notto say that it's not hard work,
but if we want it, we canachieve it. It is possible for
us. I'm taking a little break tolet you know, if you are loving
the podcast, you have to grab myfree course lose weight for the
(13:22):
last time, the mindset andstrategy you've been missing
this free course is availableright now. It is for women who
are tired of dieting only togain the weight back. It is for
women who want to lose weightpermanently and feel like
themselves again. I spent yearswanting to lose weight every
morning I would promise to eatbetter that day, and then by
(13:42):
four o'clock, I would completelychange my mind. I would think I
don't care. It wasn't worth it.
I should just love myself. I'mgetting older. This is normal,
that my body is changing, and itshouldn't matter, but it did
matter, and it did matter to me.
I lost weight permanently bylearning how to feel and control
around food, eat betterconsistently and follow through.
(14:04):
And this course will help you dothe same. So the link to get
immediate access to this freecourse is in the show notes.
It's also on my website, atCourtney Gray coaching.com you
are going to love it. Now, backto the show and then here's the
one that's That's tricky. Thisis one, one you're not going to
want to hear what negativeemotions are keeping you from
(14:25):
achieving your big goal, whatnegative emotions are keeping
you from achieving what youtruly desire. Because even
though you're doing better thanyou were, you are capable of
more. But there is going to besome negative emotions involved.
You probably have been listeningto the podcast long enough to
know that right in order for usto to achieve at a higher level
(14:49):
in any area of our life, we aregoing to have to allow some
negative emotions. And maybe foryou right now, it's doubt. Maybe
for you, maybe you're like, ah,you know what I'm I've lost.
More weight than I ever thoughtpossible, and there's doubt that
you can go further. So maybedoubt is the emotion that you
need to carry with you. Can yoube willing to feel doubt and
(15:10):
keep going? Can you be willingto feel frustration and eat even
better? One of the big things Ihear from a lot of clients is,
is they're like, I'm eatingbetter than I've ever eaten.
Ate. I don't know how to say it.
I'm eating better than I everhave and I feel like I feel like
this should be enough. It's apowerful conversation. When I
(15:33):
have a client say this, becauseI say to them is, you're going
to feel negative emotion eitherway, we can feel the negative
emotion of you sitting herethinking, I'm good, I'm doing
good, but I'm not where I reallywant to be. I'm not great,
right? That's negative initself. Or you can say I'm going
to be willing to feel thefrustration, the thoughts that
(15:54):
come up with, why do I have todo this? My girlfriends don't
have to do this. All that thenegative that can come up and
then achieve your true desire,your true big goal. You're
feeling the negative emotioneither way. We might as well get
the weight loss. We might aswell fit into the swimsuit. We
might as well look in the mirrorand blow our goddamn minds with
(16:16):
what we're seeing in the mirror,knowing there will be negative
emotion either way, I wouldrather feel negative emotion
getting to the great in allareas of my life than just
settling for the good in allareas of my life. For me, I
think to myself, if I'm feelinggood, but there's a little bit
of a ah, could be even better,then I might as well be willing
(16:41):
to feel the negative emotion toget to the great so what
negative emotions do you need tobe feeling on a day to day basis
in order to get to where youwant to go? And what thoughts
are going to come up? Whatanother at the question you can
ask yourself is, what whatthoughts are your primitive
brain going to give you? You'vealready done enough. That's the
big one that's coming up withsome of my clients. You've
(17:03):
already done enough. Yes, youall have done a lot compared to
what you used to do. But thatdoesn't mean you couldn't be
doing even more and make peacewith that even more, and love
that even more, right? Even likedoing even better, creating even
better habits, creating an evenbetter life for yourself. What
changes do you need to make? Andlet's start with some small
(17:27):
ones. What changes do you needto make, and is it possible you
can start with some small littletweaks. Oftentimes, when we
think about going to our nextlevel, it feels big, it sounds
big, and we feel like we need togo, Okay, I'm cutting out all
carbs. That's not what we'redoing here. That's what we're
(17:47):
doing here. When you look at thelife you want to live, how can
you tweak it and do some thingsthat are a little better than
what you're doing now? What aresome small things? And then what
new thoughts. Do you need tothink one new thought? I'm
encouraging my clients to thinkis okay. How could this be easy?
How can I keep going to my nextlevel, which sounds sometimes
(18:10):
big and scary, but how can it beeasy? What would I What could I
do that can keep me going lightthe fire. But how can it be
easy? Not to say it's all goingto be easy. But how can I make
this easier for myself? And whenyou open up to that, oftentimes
it becomes very clear what needsto happen in order for you to go
(18:32):
to your own next level, in orderfor you to light the fire, in
order for you to go from good togreat. And here's what I'll tell
you, happens also, and I thinkthis is a beautiful thing. You
have already gone from pain togood, and good has become kind
of easy. So can you see a futurewhere you can go from good to
(18:53):
great, and then great becomeskind of easy, and then there's a
new great available to you.
There's a new level that isalways available to you. It's
going to take changing yourthoughts, changing your habits,
being open to lighting your ownfire, and then you can just get
better and better and better andbetter. Life can get better and
(19:15):
better and better and better. Soif you're one of my clients,
strap in. We are going to betalking a lot about this. We're
going to be talking a lot aboutthis on our coaching calls.
You're going to hear it in thecoffee chats that are coming
your way. I can't wait to dothis work with you. Thank you
for listening to the podcast.
Have a great Tuesday.
(19:36):
If you are ready to lose weightand keep it off permanently and
feel confident and at peacearound food. I invite you to
head to Courtney Graycoaching.com to learn about how
to work with me. I work withwomen privately, one on one, and
I also offer small groupcoaching. There is a link to my
website in the show notes you.
Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the
podcast for women who want tolose weight permanently, feel in
control around food and learnhow to stop obsessing about
their body and food, a modernway of thinking about your
weight, your body and your lifeincludes mindset. I'm body and
life coach, Courtney Gray, andeach week I'm going to teach you
(00:29):
the mindset tools that arenecessary for changing the way
you eat forever. We will uncoverwhy you're eating when you said
you were going to stop, what todo when you're really craving
something, and how important itis to decide what you want to
believe is possible for you. Ibelieve we can get in the best
shape of our lives at any age, amodern body, a modern life, all
(00:53):
starts in your mind, and whenyou learn how to manage that,
losing weight permanentlybecomes so much easier.
Welcome to the Podcast, episode67 going from good to great. I
am really excited about thispodcast today. It's something
I've been thinking about for afew weeks. As you know, I've
(01:16):
said before with my clients andwith my group coaching program.
It's amazing how there arethemes that start happening.
People start coming to the callsand saying, Gosh, you know, this
is where I'm struggling. And Istart seeing themes happening
with my private clients and withmy group coaching clients. And
so this is a theme I have seenover and over again in the last
(01:38):
few weeks, and I think it isgoing to be profound for you. If
you are my client, strap in, getready to dive into this on our
calls in the next few weeks. Butalso, for those of you listening
to the podcast, the idea fromyou going from good to great.
What I mean by going from goodto great is a pattern I see
(01:58):
happening, is when people startto do better, they start losing
some weight, they startovercoming some bad habits. So
maybe you feel like you're doinga little bit better with your
snacking. Maybe you feel likeyou're you've lost a few pounds,
maybe 1015, pounds, and you'relike things are going well, and
as you're doing better andbetter and better, sometimes
(02:19):
what can happen is we can lose alittle bit of our fire to really
keep going towards the end goal.
I'll give you an example of whatI saw with one of my clients
this week, where I finally waslike, that's it. I like, snapped
my hands together after thecall, and I said, this is
something I need to talk about,because I'm seeing it over and
over and over again. So forexample, one of my clients, she
wants to lose like, 25 to 30pounds, and so she gets to this
(02:39):
point where she's lost 10 andshe's so proud of herself, which
she should be, that's part ofour work together is really
having her feel proud ofherself. Because what a lot of
people do is they kind of beratethemselves, and they kind of
begrudge the whole process untilthey've lost all the weight
they've wanted to lose. Have youever done that before, where
maybe you're on a diet, or maybeyou're doing a program, and
(03:02):
you're you have this vision of,like, when I lose my my goal,
when I get to my goal weight,I'm going to feel amazing, but
in the process, this kind ofsucks, and like, I'm just doing
it, and it's like you're it'slike you're delaying happiness.
And so in my program, we don'tdo that. I want my clients to
feel proud and feel excited fortheir end goal, even if they're
(03:23):
not at their end goal yet,beautiful, beautiful work. But
sometimes what can happen isbecause we're feeling so much
better, right? Our goal is 25pounds, maybe we've lost 10.
We've really broken through someof our bad habits, and we are
doing so much better. We aredoing good. It's a good thing,
except for there's a sneakylittle something that I want you
(03:46):
to be aware of. Sometimes, whenwe're doing good, we've gotten
rid of some of the pain fromwhere we were at. Especially
this happens, especially when Isee, when people start working
with me, where they come in,they're like, I am at my highest
weight I've ever been. Or I amat a place where I don't even
work out anymore. I've neverbeen to that place, or I just
(04:07):
went to the doctor, and mynumbers are bad, right? So
there's a lot of pain now, notphysical pain, but emotional
pain involved at that point. Sothen sometimes where we get to
where some of that pain haseased off. We're doing good, and
then we can get stuck in thegood river, the river of good.
We want to get to the bank onthe other side, where it's
(04:33):
great. We want to lose that,let's just say 25 pounds. We've
lost 10. We're in the river.
We're doing good, but we want toget to 25 pounds down. What can
happen is people can just stayin the good it can keep you from
reaching your big goals ofwanting to feel great because
(04:54):
the pain is no longer there.
You're proud, you're happy,you're doing better. Maybe
you're even eating better thanyou really ever have, and so
you're just doing good in orderto keep going, in order to
continue on, in order to reachthat amazing, great goal, you're
probably going to have to feelsome more negative emotion.
(05:16):
You're probably going to have tobreak through some more bad
habits of thinking and acting,and what that is going to take
is you going to your own nextlevel, and that is hard,
especially since you're like butI'm doing so much better. I'm
eating better than I ever have.
(05:37):
I'm moving more consistentlythan I ever have. You get stuck
in this, uh, but I'm doing it,yes, but you want to get to
great. You want to blow yourmind with where you want to get.
In order to keep going, you aregoing to have to do better than
(05:57):
good again. There are two sidesto this. On the one hand, you
want to be proud that you'reeating better than you have
before, that you're managingyour mind. Maybe you're doing a
little journaling. You're you'velost weight. People are telling
you, oh my gosh, you look sogreat, and you're so proud.
Maybe your partner is is saying,I'm so proud of you. It all
feels so good. But at the sametime, I encourage you to notice
(06:21):
that some of the pain is gone,some of the getting dressed in
the morning, that pain is notit's not as painful, but is
there still some pain? Is someof the fire gone? And can you
relight that fire? I reallybelieve we constantly need to be
relighting the fire. I want youto get to your goal weight, and
(06:42):
then think what is next for me,and then what is next for me,
and what is next for me, andconstantly be going from your
own good to great. Okay, so ifyou resonate with this, and
you're like on the edge of yourseat, like, Yes, I think this
might be happening to me. Ididn't even know. And the beauty
of this conversation is, whenI've had it over the last few
(07:03):
weeks with some of my clients,they're like, Oh, my God, I
really think you're right. Ididn't even know. And again,
because with my clients, wefocus on being proud, being
excited, you know, feeling thegood feelings now, but we also
want to go back to but are we atour goal? Are we feeling
amazing? Is there still morework for us? So what needs to
(07:27):
happen if you resonate withthis? So if you feel like, Yes,
I think you're right, Courtney,I think you're onto something,
the first thing that needs tohappen is radical honesty. Are
you stuck in the good and that'sgreat. That's great to be proud
again. We don't want to takeaway the proud. We don't want to
mentally whip ourselves to say,I'm not asking you to say, you
know we've done good, but Jesus,you really have let your you
know, your foot off the gas.
That's not what I'm asking youto do. I'm asking you from a
(07:49):
place of excitement and love andinspiration, am I stuck in the
good this is a good thing. Ifyou're like, Yes, I am
beautiful. That means thatthere's so much more potential
for you. So radical honesty. Areyou stuck in the good and then
the second question askyourself, what do I truly
desire? What do you truly want?
(08:13):
And why do you want? It is yourwhy? Compelling enough.
Sometimes one of the problems iswe get stuck in this. I'm doing
good is because we don't have astrong enough why to why. Our
our true desire, our big goalmight not be compelling enough.
And your why, you get to choose.
And many times as you're goingthrough this process, your why
(08:35):
will probably change. Your WHYmight have been in the
beginning. I want my numbers toget be better, you know, any
kind of when I say numbers, Ijust mean, when we go to the
doctor, there's a whole bunch ofdifferent tests, you know. And
sometimes they'll say, oh, wow,you're doing really well here
with your cholesterol, or you'redoing really well here with your
blood pressure. These thingsmight be going better for you
right now. Okay, so what is yournew why your maybe your old Why
(08:58):
was to get some better numberswhen you go to the doctor,
you're there. What is your newwhy? And be on to yourself that
your Why does not need to besome magical, earth shattering,
life changing for everyone else.
Why? It could just be summer's afucking coming and you want to
(09:18):
look a certain way in yourswimsuit. You want to feel a
certain way in your swimsuit,that is enough of a why. Don't
think that it has to impacteveryone positively. It can just
be good for you. That's okay,but maybe you need to upgrade
your why. Maybe the why you hadto get to where you are has been
great, but you need a new why toget to where you're going. Let
(09:40):
me say that again, because Ithink it's pretty powerful.
Maybe the old why you had thattook you from pain to good was
great for that moment in yourlife, but you maybe need a new
why to go from good to great.
And what do you want that why tobe and be careful women, our why
usually. Centers around everyoneelse. Our Why is like, I want to
(10:01):
be there for my kids. No, no.
What is your why? If you'rebeing radically honest with
yourself, yes, be there for thekids. Anything we do for
ourselves is going to benefitothers. But why for you, even if
it's totally selfish, even ifit's because when you take your
clothes off in front of yourpartner, you want to feel like
you look good. Maybe you want tojust get up and down things
(10:26):
better. Maybe you want to justfeel like you look really great.
Maybe you maybe you have abikini right now that's that's
been that you were last summer,or a bathing suit, not just a
bikini, a bathing suit of somesort, that you wore last summer.
And you feel like if I lost1015, 20 more pounds, I would
actually have to buy a newbikini. How fun would that be?
(10:47):
That is a powerful why? So doyou need to upgrade your Why do
you need to come up with abetter reason for why you want
to keep going to your own nextlevel? Do you have a powerful
vision of you at that goalweight, or at that fitness
level, or at that consistency. Iknow for a lot of people,
(11:08):
they're like, yes, I want tolose weight. Yes, I have a goal,
but I just want to become thewoman that is consistent. I want
to feel like it's just what Ido. I remember a few years ago,
one of our good friends broughthis new wife over to to our
house, and I remember she and Iwere talking, and she's a
runner, and she just said thatshe doesn't matter where she is.
It doesn't matter what when shegets home, she runs a few miles
(11:32):
every day. She was if we gethome from a road trip at six
o'clock, I'm out. I'm running.
My husband knows I'm I'mrunning. And I was like, What?
What is happening? Like, IThat's not how I am. If I go on
a long road trip, I'm notrunning at 6pm at night. But
there was a little part of methat's like, I want that. There
was a little envy, a littlelike, I really was, like, she's
amazing. I want that. And so I'mnot, I don't want to run. But
(11:56):
what do? What can I do to beher? What can I do to be that
kind of person that isconsistent, even if I get home
late, right? So what kind ofvision do you need of who you
want to become, and do you likeyour why to get there? Also,
here's a question to askyourself, can you acknowledge
(12:16):
that you're still in some pain,even though you are focused on
feeling good and feeling proudand really, you know, driving
your thoughts to the positive,take a moment and go, is there
still some pain that I'm goingthrough? It? Would I like to be
a little bit smaller? Am I stillkind of not where I want to be?
Do I still want to feel evenbetter? Do I still not quite
(12:38):
feel like me in my body. Can wenod to the fact that we're not
living up to our big potential?
I really believe that if we arenot achieving what we truly
desire, what is available to us,we are not living up to our full
potential. And I also believethat if we want it, it is
(13:02):
possible for us to achieve it. Ireally believe that, especially
when it comes to our bodies, notto say that it's not hard work,
but if we want it, we canachieve it. It is possible for
us. I'm taking a little break tolet you know, if you are loving
the podcast, you have to grab myfree course lose weight for the
(13:22):
last time, the mindset andstrategy you've been missing
this free course is availableright now. It is for women who
are tired of dieting only togain the weight back. It is for
women who want to lose weightpermanently and feel like
themselves again. I spent yearswanting to lose weight every
morning I would promise to eatbetter that day, and then by
(13:42):
four o'clock, I would completelychange my mind. I would think I
don't care. It wasn't worth it.
I should just love myself. I'mgetting older. This is normal,
that my body is changing, and itshouldn't matter, but it did
matter, and it did matter to me.
I lost weight permanently bylearning how to feel and control
around food, eat betterconsistently and follow through.
(14:04):
And this course will help you dothe same. So the link to get
immediate access to this freecourse is in the show notes.
It's also on my website, atCourtney Gray coaching.com you
are going to love it. Now, backto the show and then here's the
one that's That's tricky. Thisis one, one you're not going to
want to hear what negativeemotions are keeping you from
(14:25):
achieving your big goal, whatnegative emotions are keeping
you from achieving what youtruly desire. Because even
though you're doing better thanyou were, you are capable of
more. But there is going to besome negative emotions involved.
You probably have been listeningto the podcast long enough to
know that right in order for usto to achieve at a higher level
(14:49):
in any area of our life, we aregoing to have to allow some
negative emotions. And maybe foryou right now, it's doubt. Maybe
for you, maybe you're like, ah,you know what I'm I've lost.
More weight than I ever thoughtpossible, and there's doubt that
you can go further. So maybedoubt is the emotion that you
need to carry with you. Can yoube willing to feel doubt and
(15:10):
keep going? Can you be willingto feel frustration and eat even
better? One of the big things Ihear from a lot of clients is,
is they're like, I'm eatingbetter than I've ever eaten.
Ate. I don't know how to say it.
I'm eating better than I everhave and I feel like I feel like
this should be enough. It's apowerful conversation. When I
(15:33):
have a client say this, becauseI say to them is, you're going
to feel negative emotion eitherway, we can feel the negative
emotion of you sitting herethinking, I'm good, I'm doing
good, but I'm not where I reallywant to be. I'm not great,
right? That's negative initself. Or you can say I'm going
to be willing to feel thefrustration, the thoughts that
(15:54):
come up with, why do I have todo this? My girlfriends don't
have to do this. All that thenegative that can come up and
then achieve your true desire,your true big goal. You're
feeling the negative emotioneither way. We might as well get
the weight loss. We might aswell fit into the swimsuit. We
might as well look in the mirrorand blow our goddamn minds with
(16:16):
what we're seeing in the mirror,knowing there will be negative
emotion either way, I wouldrather feel negative emotion
getting to the great in allareas of my life than just
settling for the good in allareas of my life. For me, I
think to myself, if I'm feelinggood, but there's a little bit
of a ah, could be even better,then I might as well be willing
(16:41):
to feel the negative emotion toget to the great so what
negative emotions do you need tobe feeling on a day to day basis
in order to get to where youwant to go? And what thoughts
are going to come up? Whatanother at the question you can
ask yourself is, what whatthoughts are your primitive
brain going to give you? You'vealready done enough. That's the
big one that's coming up withsome of my clients. You've
(17:03):
already done enough. Yes, youall have done a lot compared to
what you used to do. But thatdoesn't mean you couldn't be
doing even more and make peacewith that even more, and love
that even more, right? Even likedoing even better, creating even
better habits, creating an evenbetter life for yourself. What
changes do you need to make? Andlet's start with some small
(17:27):
ones. What changes do you needto make, and is it possible you
can start with some small littletweaks. Oftentimes, when we
think about going to our nextlevel, it feels big, it sounds
big, and we feel like we need togo, Okay, I'm cutting out all
carbs. That's not what we'redoing here. That's what we're
(17:47):
doing here. When you look at thelife you want to live, how can
you tweak it and do some thingsthat are a little better than
what you're doing now? What aresome small things? And then what
new thoughts. Do you need tothink one new thought? I'm
encouraging my clients to thinkis okay. How could this be easy?
How can I keep going to my nextlevel, which sounds sometimes
(18:10):
big and scary, but how can it beeasy? What would I What could I
do that can keep me going lightthe fire. But how can it be
easy? Not to say it's all goingto be easy. But how can I make
this easier for myself? And whenyou open up to that, oftentimes
it becomes very clear what needsto happen in order for you to go
(18:32):
to your own next level, in orderfor you to light the fire, in
order for you to go from good togreat. And here's what I'll tell
you, happens also, and I thinkthis is a beautiful thing. You
have already gone from pain togood, and good has become kind
of easy. So can you see a futurewhere you can go from good to
(18:53):
great, and then great becomeskind of easy, and then there's a
new great available to you.
There's a new level that isalways available to you. It's
going to take changing yourthoughts, changing your habits,
being open to lighting your ownfire, and then you can just get
better and better and better andbetter. Life can get better and
(19:15):
better and better and better. Soif you're one of my clients,
strap in. We are going to betalking a lot about this. We're
going to be talking a lot aboutthis on our coaching calls.
You're going to hear it in thecoffee chats that are coming
your way. I can't wait to dothis work with you. Thank you
for listening to the podcast.
Have a great Tuesday.
(19:36):
If you are ready to lose weightand keep it off permanently and
feel confident and at peacearound food. I invite you to
head to Courtney Graycoaching.com to learn about how
to work with me. I work withwomen privately, one on one, and
I also offer small groupcoaching. There is a link to my
website in the show notes you.
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