April 15, 2025 • 16 mins
The way you eat every day is very likely the way you were taught to eat growing up. And it might not be helping you live in they body you want to live in.
Always finish your plate.
What sounds good to you?
If food is offered, you have to eat it or you are rude.....
All of these types of eating behaviors are very common, and you get to decide if they way you were taught to eat is helping or hurting you.
Enjoy!
I'd like to invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation with me HERE to discuss the changes you'd like to make to your body and life. These consultations are fun, powerful, and can be a catalyst for uncovering what needs to change to create a more beautiful body and life. ~ Courtney
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:06):
Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the
podcast for women who want tolose weight permanently, feel in
control around food and learnhow to stop obsessing about
their body and food, a modernway of thinking about your
weight, your body and your lifeincludes mindset. I'm body and
life coach, Courtney Gray, andeach week I'm going to teach you
(00:29):
the mindset tools that arenecessary for changing the way
you eat forever. We will uncoverwhy you're eating when you said
you were going to stop, what todo when you're really craving
something, and how important itis to decide what you want to
believe is possible for you. Ibelieve we can get in the best
shape of our lives at any age, amodern body, a modern life, all
(00:53):
starts in your mind, and whenyou learn how to manage that,
losing weight permanentlybecomes so much easier.
Welcome to the podcast. 74 reteaching yourself how to eat.
First of all, the weather isstarting to get Sunny. I love
(01:14):
this time of year because itmakes me so excited for summer.
It cannot be 90 degrees fastenough for me. I want to be in
my pool. So I love that theweather is starting to slowly
get warmer and warmer andwarmer. Okay, what I am talking
about today is re teachingyourself how to eat when it
(01:34):
comes to you, changing you andhow you do things and losing
weight permanently and becomingthe woman that can maintain it,
the first step is always beingaware of what isn't working. And
so often, the way we eat asgrown ass women is all based on
how we were taught to eat askids. And we don't even think
(01:56):
about this. It's so interesting,right? Like the foundation of
the person you are today wasbuilt when you were little. You
were taught how to ride a bike.
You were taught how to drive.
You were taught aboutrelationships and whether
they're good or bad, and how tobe in them and and whether
they're safe or explosive, likeyour whole idea of
(02:19):
relationships. We were taught ofwhen we were young. We were
taught when we were young how tospend money, whether money was
something that was scarce ormoney was easy that that concept
was taught to us by our parentsor our guardians. We were taught
how to do school, whether schoolwas important, whether you're
supposed to get straight A's,whether you should try hard, do
(02:40):
your homework, not do yourhomework, whether you should
respect teachers or authoritiesdon't matter. I mean, all of
that was taught to us when wewere growing up sports, whether
you wanted to play sports,whether you had to commit to a
team and stick with stick withit, or whether you could start a
team and then stop. And itdidn't really matter. Our whole
view of sports, whether you weresupposed to practice just with
(03:02):
your team or practice extra whenyou were home, all of those
ideas were taught to us bysomeone. We were taught how to
celebrate events, how to nurtureourselves when we were going
through pain or distress. Wewere taught how to handle our
emotions, or probably most of uswere not taught how to handle
our emotions. We most of us wereprobably taught to eat when we
(03:26):
have any negative emotions. Sowhat I want you to consider is
how you were taught to eat.
Whoever raised you taught youall these things, but they also
taught you how to eat, what kindof food, what times a day is
appropriate, how much food isappropriate, how little food is
appropriate, how to eat food,fast, slow, standing up at a
(03:48):
table in front of the TV. Whattimes a day, what food means,
whether food is like medicine orfood is our band aids to put
over emotions, or whether foodis it doesn't matter. Or you
know what food means, howimportant food is, whether you
cook food or not. We were taughtwhen we were young, whether
(04:09):
you're supposed to cook oryou're supposed to order in or
you're supposed to grow it inyour garden, whether you should
buy organic or that maybe thatdoesn't matter. Should you have
dessert every night? Were youraised that you should have
dessert after every meal? All ofthese things, and I could go on
and on and on, were taught to usgrowing up, just like everything
(04:30):
else, our habits around what weput in our mouth were given to
us as kids, and like so manyother things, we can think back
to what we were taught anddecide if it serves us. This is
this first level of awareness isalways really important. It's
interesting we think about as asociety. There's this thing
(04:51):
that's often joke joked aroundin movies and television shows
about therapy, about how whenyou can.
See this many times, thisnarrative of a therapist will
say, Well, how were you raised?
Or what did your parents say, orwhat happened when you're in
your childhood? And then usuallythe person's like, Oh my God,
please don't make me talk aboutmy childhood. But man, the way
(05:12):
we are today, so much of the waywe move throughout the world, so
much of the way we think and ourbeliefs, our deep seated
beliefs, were given to us whenwe were kids, and it's now a
beautiful thing. It's our job tobe able to look at all of those
thoughts and beliefs andquestion all of it. Question is
(05:33):
this serving me? Answer A lot ofthose questions. What were you
taught as a kid about food. Howwere you taught the way to eat
so often when I'm working with aclient, I will say, hey, when
you that, that's an interestingway to think about things. Where
did you learn that? Well, that'show we were raised. And I'll
(05:54):
tell you, when this gets alittle sticky, is for many of
you, you possibly had awonderful childhood and either
had a great relationship withyour parents or still have a
great relationship with yourparents. It doesn't necessarily
mean that the way you weretaught how to eat is serving you
now, just because your parentsare amazing doesn't mean you
(06:16):
like what you learned about howto eat. And the beautiful thing
is, now that you're an adult,you can change your thoughts on
how you want to eat, even if youhad the best childhood,
wonderful parents, it doesn'tmean the way you were eat is
serving you now. So here arecommon ways of eating that with
my clients, we uncover arereally not serving them. And the
(06:41):
cool thing is, is when theyreally realize, oh, this is how
I was raised, then it reallyagain, opens you up to be able
to go, oh, no, shame that it'salways been that way. But from
Curiosity, can we figure outmaybe why you were raised that
way, like why your parentstaught you that way? It's
probably because that's how theywere taught. And do you want to
(07:02):
keep going with this way ofeating, with this way of
thinking, feeling and eating?
And so here are some of the mostcommon ways with my clients, I
have heard they were taught toeat. And so see if you resonate
with any of these. Were youtaught to finish your plate? I
was actually taught this by somewonderful parents, and I was
(07:27):
taught this always growing up.
It's kind of what you did. Youfinish your plate. Finish your
plate. And also, what is verycommon is finish your plate or
you don't get dessert.
Interesting messaging, right?
Finish your plate. It doesn'tmatter what your level of
fullness is. It doesn't matterhow you feel about what you're
eating. You need to finish yourplate, and you will be rewarded.
I mean, can you see the crazythat has on your brain? How
(07:49):
about this one? This is a bigone. We don't throw away food.
This is a tough one for a lot ofmy clients. And this also goes
back to finishing your plate.
It's like, not only do you haveto finish your plate, but then
we don't throw away food. So ifyou have extra cake, it's like,
it's the perfect excuse for yourprimitive brain to go. You gotta
(08:11):
finish it. We don't throw itaway.
I had a client once who it wasmonths after a holiday. I can't
remember what it was. Maybe itwas Easter and it was months
after, maybe a month afterEaster, and she was like, Oh,
I'm really struggling with theEaster candy that's left in my
house. And she didn't even haveany kids or anything in the
house. But I said, What? And Iactually was confused. I was
(08:33):
like, because I am a throweraware, a thrower aware. And so I
said to her, Okay, wait aminute. Who is the candy for?
She was always just for me andand I said, but you don't want
to eat it. She goes, No, itreally is kind of torturing me.
And I said, Why are we notthrowing the candy away? And it
literally kind of stumped her.
It was like she didn't evenknow. And I said, oh, and I
said, you were probably raisedin a house where you didn't
(08:55):
throw away any food, even if itwas candy, because it's still
good, right? It's still good.
And she was, yeah, we didn't dothat. And I go, Well, permission
granted to throw the candy awayif it's calling to you and you
don't want to eat it, you know,it's not serving your future
self. You know, it's not goingto get you where you are going.
You know, it's really nothealthy, and you really probably
(09:16):
don't even like it that much.
Then throw it away. And she waslike, it had never occurred to
me, is what she said, it wasamazing. And so she threw it all
away. And she's like, gosh, itjust, it's literally, I have,
it's not in my wiring to dothat. So that was a really
beautiful moment. So I encourageyou, if you have that experience
growing up where you don't throwthings away, throw it away. I
have so many clients too. Thisis a separate thing. I have so
(09:39):
many clients who have all thisfood in their pantry, either
from their kids that are stillin home, or maybe from their
grown kids, that when their kidscome over, they bring chips and
and licorice and all this kindof stuff, but then their kids
leave because their kids don'tlive with them anymore, and this
stuff just sits in the in their.
(10:00):
Pantry, and they don't eat itall day until nine o'clock, and
then they find themselves eatinglike, 10 Red Vines. And they're
like, What am I doing? I don'teven want to eat this. And when
I say, throw it away. Andthey're like, what? And it's
amazing, throw it away. Andthey're like, Yeah, but they're
actually coming in two weeks.
And I go then buy new Red Vinesin two weeks. It is worth the
investment of the 599 or howevermuch the Red Vines is, it's
(10:22):
worth the investment for you tohave 10 days of peace,
right? And when I say that,they're all, you're so right,
I'm like, because, because, doyou have the 599 is it a pro?
Are you financially? And they'reall, yes, it's no problem. We
have all these primitive brainexcuses. So it's like, Hey,
throw the food away.
(10:44):
Okay, were you taught to alwaysdecide what sounds good to you?
This is another heavy hitter.
It's that idea. I think of it asopening the fridge and going,
what sounds good, and reallywhat we're saying there is what
will be a party in my mouth. Andhey, hey, sometimes we want the
party in our on our mouth, andit's no problem, but more often
(11:05):
than not, we need to stop allthe parties in our mouth. And
when you're opening up thefridge or opening up the pantry
and saying what sounds like ittastes good, oftentimes you're
running from your primitivebrain. You're seeking pleasure
in the moment, and oftentimesthat doesn't align with your
future goals. How often do youopen the pantry and say, Okay,
(11:25):
what is going to get me to mygoal? That doesn't hardly ever
happen, right? But what if youbecame the woman that that
happened more often than not?
What if it was just one meal aday you thought, what is really
going to serve my goal and getme towards my permanent weight
loss, towards feeling better,sleeping better, all those
things. Now this one wasn'tsaid, but this one was alluded
(11:50):
to, and I am guilty of this onewith my own children, and so it
wasn't said, but it's dessertsolves all problems. And so I
did this with my kids, and Ihave no regrets, because I think
we've all kind of done thisbefore, but I remember this one
time I think I've talked aboutit on the podcast where my kids,
the my twins, both ran for like,student body Council, like when
(12:11):
they were in fifth grade andthey ran against each other.
I'm sorry.
It's just so preposterous. Theyran against each other and
against one of their bestfriends, who was the most
popular kid in the class, poorbabies. Poor babies, when they
both lost and they were almostin tears, they were in fifth
(12:32):
grade, but they were still yoyoung boys. And I was like, You
know what we need to do? We needto go get ice cream, right now,
right? And so then we went toice cream, and then we came home
and they got they were processedsome emotion with me, you know,
but it was that whole, this isgoing to solve dessert is going
to solve all the problems, notthe end of the world. But do you
still kind of think that in yourown life, you know, if something
(12:55):
bad happens, it's like, it makesme think of like you can think
of many times in movies, a womanwalks in the door and she's in a
business suit, and she's like,exhausted, and she goes, I had a
day. I need a glass of wine. Wethink that about alcohol, but we
also think about that aboutdessert. It's like, almost like,
Oh, my God, I'm I need somethingbecause, you know, I have a
problem and it needs to besolved with food. I think that
(13:17):
that's a narrative societyholds.
Were you taught that it's rudeto say no to food when it's
offered? This can be cultural.
This can be just maybe, by yourparents growing up, that you
learned that if someone offersyou food, it's rude to say no to
it, you're gonna offend them,that by you saying no to the
(13:38):
food, you are affecting someoneelse's feelings, and so you
can't say no. And what aboutalcohol is bad? Were you taught
alcohol is bad? Were you taughtalcohol makes everything better?
What are your thoughts, and didyou learn them from when you
were growing up? And are theyserving you? Here's one, if it's
homemade, it's healthy. Is it Ihave my are you if you can
(14:05):
imagine me sitting hererecording the podcast, I have my
finger up to the side of themouth. Is it healthy just
because it's homemade? Andhere's another one, is it
healthy just because it'sorganic or it's natural? Does
that mean it's healthy? Does itdoesn't mean it's healthy. Just
because it's got some omegas.
(14:25):
That's one that people, a lot oftimes, have learned from their
childhood, and they're stillthinking and possibly is not
serving them. And here's thekicker, for a lot of people,
food is love.
A lot of us learned growing upthat food is love. And for many
I think that like food is likethe sixth love language. You've
(14:46):
heard of The Five LoveLanguages. For many people
growing up, food was the sixthlove language. And is that
serving you? Do you kind ofstill feel that way, and if you
have children, do.
You raise them with any ofthese, and likely, if you were
taught by your own upbringingthese, you probably emulated
(15:08):
that for your own children. Sothat's another way you can kind
of diagnose where your thoughtsare. And again, not from a place
of shame or frustration or guiltor regret, but from a place of
we're a grown ass woman now. Nowdo we want to reteach ourself?
So the first step is alwaysbecoming aware of what isn't
working, and then deciding ifyou want to reteach yourself, if
(15:31):
it's not working for you, if youhave a thought that is not
serving you, let's change thethought. How do you want to
think differently about the wayyou were raised in terms of your
eating, in terms of what foodmeans, in terms of the
connection between food andlove. Have a great Tuesday. If
(15:52):
you are ready to lose weight andkeep it off permanently and feel
confident and at peace aroundfood, I invite you to head to
Courtney Gray coaching comm tolearn about how to work with me.
I work with women privately, oneon one, and I also offer small
group coaching. There is a linkto my website in the show notes.
You.
Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the
podcast for women who want tolose weight permanently, feel in
control around food and learnhow to stop obsessing about
their body and food, a modernway of thinking about your
weight, your body and your lifeincludes mindset. I'm body and
life coach, Courtney Gray, andeach week I'm going to teach you
(00:29):
the mindset tools that arenecessary for changing the way
you eat forever. We will uncoverwhy you're eating when you said
you were going to stop, what todo when you're really craving
something, and how important itis to decide what you want to
believe is possible for you. Ibelieve we can get in the best
shape of our lives at any age, amodern body, a modern life, all
(00:53):
starts in your mind, and whenyou learn how to manage that,
losing weight permanentlybecomes so much easier.
Welcome to the podcast. 74 reteaching yourself how to eat.
First of all, the weather isstarting to get Sunny. I love
(01:14):
this time of year because itmakes me so excited for summer.
It cannot be 90 degrees fastenough for me. I want to be in
my pool. So I love that theweather is starting to slowly
get warmer and warmer andwarmer. Okay, what I am talking
about today is re teachingyourself how to eat when it
(01:34):
comes to you, changing you andhow you do things and losing
weight permanently and becomingthe woman that can maintain it,
the first step is always beingaware of what isn't working. And
so often, the way we eat asgrown ass women is all based on
how we were taught to eat askids. And we don't even think
(01:56):
about this. It's so interesting,right? Like the foundation of
the person you are today wasbuilt when you were little. You
were taught how to ride a bike.
You were taught how to drive.
You were taught aboutrelationships and whether
they're good or bad, and how tobe in them and and whether
they're safe or explosive, likeyour whole idea of
(02:19):
relationships. We were taught ofwhen we were young. We were
taught when we were young how tospend money, whether money was
something that was scarce ormoney was easy that that concept
was taught to us by our parentsor our guardians. We were taught
how to do school, whether schoolwas important, whether you're
supposed to get straight A's,whether you should try hard, do
(02:40):
your homework, not do yourhomework, whether you should
respect teachers or authoritiesdon't matter. I mean, all of
that was taught to us when wewere growing up sports, whether
you wanted to play sports,whether you had to commit to a
team and stick with stick withit, or whether you could start a
team and then stop. And itdidn't really matter. Our whole
view of sports, whether you weresupposed to practice just with
(03:02):
your team or practice extra whenyou were home, all of those
ideas were taught to us bysomeone. We were taught how to
celebrate events, how to nurtureourselves when we were going
through pain or distress. Wewere taught how to handle our
emotions, or probably most of uswere not taught how to handle
our emotions. We most of us wereprobably taught to eat when we
(03:26):
have any negative emotions. Sowhat I want you to consider is
how you were taught to eat.
Whoever raised you taught youall these things, but they also
taught you how to eat, what kindof food, what times a day is
appropriate, how much food isappropriate, how little food is
appropriate, how to eat food,fast, slow, standing up at a
(03:48):
table in front of the TV. Whattimes a day, what food means,
whether food is like medicine orfood is our band aids to put
over emotions, or whether foodis it doesn't matter. Or you
know what food means, howimportant food is, whether you
cook food or not. We were taughtwhen we were young, whether
(04:09):
you're supposed to cook oryou're supposed to order in or
you're supposed to grow it inyour garden, whether you should
buy organic or that maybe thatdoesn't matter. Should you have
dessert every night? Were youraised that you should have
dessert after every meal? All ofthese things, and I could go on
and on and on, were taught to usgrowing up, just like everything
(04:30):
else, our habits around what weput in our mouth were given to
us as kids, and like so manyother things, we can think back
to what we were taught anddecide if it serves us. This is
this first level of awareness isalways really important. It's
interesting we think about as asociety. There's this thing
(04:51):
that's often joke joked aroundin movies and television shows
about therapy, about how whenyou can.
See this many times, thisnarrative of a therapist will
say, Well, how were you raised?
Or what did your parents say, orwhat happened when you're in
your childhood? And then usuallythe person's like, Oh my God,
please don't make me talk aboutmy childhood. But man, the way
(05:12):
we are today, so much of the waywe move throughout the world, so
much of the way we think and ourbeliefs, our deep seated
beliefs, were given to us whenwe were kids, and it's now a
beautiful thing. It's our job tobe able to look at all of those
thoughts and beliefs andquestion all of it. Question is
(05:33):
this serving me? Answer A lot ofthose questions. What were you
taught as a kid about food. Howwere you taught the way to eat
so often when I'm working with aclient, I will say, hey, when
you that, that's an interestingway to think about things. Where
did you learn that? Well, that'show we were raised. And I'll
(05:54):
tell you, when this gets alittle sticky, is for many of
you, you possibly had awonderful childhood and either
had a great relationship withyour parents or still have a
great relationship with yourparents. It doesn't necessarily
mean that the way you weretaught how to eat is serving you
now, just because your parentsare amazing doesn't mean you
(06:16):
like what you learned about howto eat. And the beautiful thing
is, now that you're an adult,you can change your thoughts on
how you want to eat, even if youhad the best childhood,
wonderful parents, it doesn'tmean the way you were eat is
serving you now. So here arecommon ways of eating that with
my clients, we uncover arereally not serving them. And the
(06:41):
cool thing is, is when theyreally realize, oh, this is how
I was raised, then it reallyagain, opens you up to be able
to go, oh, no, shame that it'salways been that way. But from
Curiosity, can we figure outmaybe why you were raised that
way, like why your parentstaught you that way? It's
probably because that's how theywere taught. And do you want to
(07:02):
keep going with this way ofeating, with this way of
thinking, feeling and eating?
And so here are some of the mostcommon ways with my clients, I
have heard they were taught toeat. And so see if you resonate
with any of these. Were youtaught to finish your plate? I
was actually taught this by somewonderful parents, and I was
(07:27):
taught this always growing up.
It's kind of what you did. Youfinish your plate. Finish your
plate. And also, what is verycommon is finish your plate or
you don't get dessert.
Interesting messaging, right?
Finish your plate. It doesn'tmatter what your level of
fullness is. It doesn't matterhow you feel about what you're
eating. You need to finish yourplate, and you will be rewarded.
I mean, can you see the crazythat has on your brain? How
(07:49):
about this one? This is a bigone. We don't throw away food.
This is a tough one for a lot ofmy clients. And this also goes
back to finishing your plate.
It's like, not only do you haveto finish your plate, but then
we don't throw away food. So ifyou have extra cake, it's like,
it's the perfect excuse for yourprimitive brain to go. You gotta
(08:11):
finish it. We don't throw itaway.
I had a client once who it wasmonths after a holiday. I can't
remember what it was. Maybe itwas Easter and it was months
after, maybe a month afterEaster, and she was like, Oh,
I'm really struggling with theEaster candy that's left in my
house. And she didn't even haveany kids or anything in the
house. But I said, What? And Iactually was confused. I was
(08:33):
like, because I am a throweraware, a thrower aware. And so I
said to her, Okay, wait aminute. Who is the candy for?
She was always just for me andand I said, but you don't want
to eat it. She goes, No, itreally is kind of torturing me.
And I said, Why are we notthrowing the candy away? And it
literally kind of stumped her.
It was like she didn't evenknow. And I said, oh, and I
said, you were probably raisedin a house where you didn't
(08:55):
throw away any food, even if itwas candy, because it's still
good, right? It's still good.
And she was, yeah, we didn't dothat. And I go, Well, permission
granted to throw the candy awayif it's calling to you and you
don't want to eat it, you know,it's not serving your future
self. You know, it's not goingto get you where you are going.
You know, it's really nothealthy, and you really probably
(09:16):
don't even like it that much.
Then throw it away. And she waslike, it had never occurred to
me, is what she said, it wasamazing. And so she threw it all
away. And she's like, gosh, itjust, it's literally, I have,
it's not in my wiring to dothat. So that was a really
beautiful moment. So I encourageyou, if you have that experience
growing up where you don't throwthings away, throw it away. I
have so many clients too. Thisis a separate thing. I have so
(09:39):
many clients who have all thisfood in their pantry, either
from their kids that are stillin home, or maybe from their
grown kids, that when their kidscome over, they bring chips and
and licorice and all this kindof stuff, but then their kids
leave because their kids don'tlive with them anymore, and this
stuff just sits in the in their.
(10:00):
Pantry, and they don't eat itall day until nine o'clock, and
then they find themselves eatinglike, 10 Red Vines. And they're
like, What am I doing? I don'teven want to eat this. And when
I say, throw it away. Andthey're like, what? And it's
amazing, throw it away. Andthey're like, Yeah, but they're
actually coming in two weeks.
And I go then buy new Red Vinesin two weeks. It is worth the
investment of the 599 or howevermuch the Red Vines is, it's
(10:22):
worth the investment for you tohave 10 days of peace,
right? And when I say that,they're all, you're so right,
I'm like, because, because, doyou have the 599 is it a pro?
Are you financially? And they'reall, yes, it's no problem. We
have all these primitive brainexcuses. So it's like, Hey,
throw the food away.
(10:44):
Okay, were you taught to alwaysdecide what sounds good to you?
This is another heavy hitter.
It's that idea. I think of it asopening the fridge and going,
what sounds good, and reallywhat we're saying there is what
will be a party in my mouth. Andhey, hey, sometimes we want the
party in our on our mouth, andit's no problem, but more often
(11:05):
than not, we need to stop allthe parties in our mouth. And
when you're opening up thefridge or opening up the pantry
and saying what sounds like ittastes good, oftentimes you're
running from your primitivebrain. You're seeking pleasure
in the moment, and oftentimesthat doesn't align with your
future goals. How often do youopen the pantry and say, Okay,
(11:25):
what is going to get me to mygoal? That doesn't hardly ever
happen, right? But what if youbecame the woman that that
happened more often than not?
What if it was just one meal aday you thought, what is really
going to serve my goal and getme towards my permanent weight
loss, towards feeling better,sleeping better, all those
things. Now this one wasn'tsaid, but this one was alluded
(11:50):
to, and I am guilty of this onewith my own children, and so it
wasn't said, but it's dessertsolves all problems. And so I
did this with my kids, and Ihave no regrets, because I think
we've all kind of done thisbefore, but I remember this one
time I think I've talked aboutit on the podcast where my kids,
the my twins, both ran for like,student body Council, like when
(12:11):
they were in fifth grade andthey ran against each other.
I'm sorry.
It's just so preposterous. Theyran against each other and
against one of their bestfriends, who was the most
popular kid in the class, poorbabies. Poor babies, when they
both lost and they were almostin tears, they were in fifth
(12:32):
grade, but they were still yoyoung boys. And I was like, You
know what we need to do? We needto go get ice cream, right now,
right? And so then we went toice cream, and then we came home
and they got they were processedsome emotion with me, you know,
but it was that whole, this isgoing to solve dessert is going
to solve all the problems, notthe end of the world. But do you
still kind of think that in yourown life, you know, if something
(12:55):
bad happens, it's like, it makesme think of like you can think
of many times in movies, a womanwalks in the door and she's in a
business suit, and she's like,exhausted, and she goes, I had a
day. I need a glass of wine. Wethink that about alcohol, but we
also think about that aboutdessert. It's like, almost like,
Oh, my God, I'm I need somethingbecause, you know, I have a
problem and it needs to besolved with food. I think that
(13:17):
that's a narrative societyholds.
Were you taught that it's rudeto say no to food when it's
offered? This can be cultural.
This can be just maybe, by yourparents growing up, that you
learned that if someone offersyou food, it's rude to say no to
it, you're gonna offend them,that by you saying no to the
(13:38):
food, you are affecting someoneelse's feelings, and so you
can't say no. And what aboutalcohol is bad? Were you taught
alcohol is bad? Were you taughtalcohol makes everything better?
What are your thoughts, and didyou learn them from when you
were growing up? And are theyserving you? Here's one, if it's
homemade, it's healthy. Is it Ihave my are you if you can
(14:05):
imagine me sitting hererecording the podcast, I have my
finger up to the side of themouth. Is it healthy just
because it's homemade? Andhere's another one, is it
healthy just because it'sorganic or it's natural? Does
that mean it's healthy? Does itdoesn't mean it's healthy. Just
because it's got some omegas.
(14:25):
That's one that people, a lot oftimes, have learned from their
childhood, and they're stillthinking and possibly is not
serving them. And here's thekicker, for a lot of people,
food is love.
A lot of us learned growing upthat food is love. And for many
I think that like food is likethe sixth love language. You've
(14:46):
heard of The Five LoveLanguages. For many people
growing up, food was the sixthlove language. And is that
serving you? Do you kind ofstill feel that way, and if you
have children, do.
You raise them with any ofthese, and likely, if you were
taught by your own upbringingthese, you probably emulated
(15:08):
that for your own children. Sothat's another way you can kind
of diagnose where your thoughtsare. And again, not from a place
of shame or frustration or guiltor regret, but from a place of
we're a grown ass woman now. Nowdo we want to reteach ourself?
So the first step is alwaysbecoming aware of what isn't
working, and then deciding ifyou want to reteach yourself, if
(15:31):
it's not working for you, if youhave a thought that is not
serving you, let's change thethought. How do you want to
think differently about the wayyou were raised in terms of your
eating, in terms of what foodmeans, in terms of the
connection between food andlove. Have a great Tuesday. If
(15:52):
you are ready to lose weight andkeep it off permanently and feel
confident and at peace aroundfood, I invite you to head to
Courtney Gray coaching comm tolearn about how to work with me.
I work with women privately, oneon one, and I also offer small
group coaching. There is a linkto my website in the show notes.
You.
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