Why Self Care Feels Like a Luxury (Even When You Know Better) #235

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Before you push through one more to-do list on an empty tank, let’s pause and talk about the belief that says you have to earn your rest. Because here’s the truth: rest isn’t something to chase when everything’s finally done—it’s something your spirit is already worthy of, right now.

In this episode, we explore WHY self-care can feel so out of reach for the ones who give the most. For the intuitive ones. The nurturers. The empaths.  The healers. The ones who feel responsible for holding it all together.

You’ll uncover where these invisible blocks come from—and why the very people who uplift others often struggle to honor their own needs. We’ll uncover the false beliefs you’ve carried: that care must be earned, that rest is indulgent, that your needs come last. And then? We’ll begin to release them.

Christina Wooten helps you access the wisdom and support of the Spirit World to elevate your life.
She is a Certified Psychic Medium and Reiki Master Teacher.  Christina is the owner of Sedona Medium and co-host of Modern Life and Spirit podcast.

She offers Psychic Medium Readings, Soul Readings, Past Life Regressions, and teaches how you can start communicating and receiving messages from your Spirit Guides - through her program.
Learn more about her offerings here

Currently registering for Fall Reiki in-person classes in Sedona - beginners welcome!  Contact www.SedonaMedium.com Today!

Contact www.SedonaMedium.com to schedule your reading today!

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Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:00):
Music. Welcome to the Modern Life and Spirit Podcast

(00:03):
where we explore spiritualtopics relevant to today's
world. Your hosts, certifiedpsychic medium Christina Wooten
and Reiki master teacher RobertWooten, break down how to work
with spirit to create morepositive growth in your life.
Consider this podcast your go tospiritual resource for

(00:23):
navigating the modern world.

Christina Wooten (00:27):
Hey there, kindred spirits. Welcome to
Modern Life and Spirit podcast.
It's me. Christina Wooten,certified psychic medium at
Sedona medium.com Welcome to OurPodcast, sacred space. I'm glad
that our hearts can share sometime together and connect a
little bit today, if you've beenfollowing our podcast, you know

(00:49):
that we recently finished up afive part series about the love
languages and how thatinfluences our spiritual and
sometimes our intuitive lives.
And as I was reflecting onwhat's what's next for us? What
do we really need? I was talkingto my guides about it. The thing

(01:11):
that kept coming up over andover again was about self care.
Why is it that self care is sohard for the same people who
extol its virtues to otherpeople, so the same people who
know better. I'm talking aboutthe healers, the light workers,
the artists, the intuitives. Whyis it so hard? I see this over

(01:34):
and over again, where the mostincredible lights, the most
incredible healers, are alsodeep into some toxic default
patterns when it comes to selflove and it comes to self care.
So over the next few weeks, Iwant us to work on shifting that
energy to illuminate self careblocks, to be open completely to

(01:57):
a new way of being, to a newconsciousness to guide us into
the fullness of love, whichreally includes ourselves. So as
we dive into this topic, I justwant to start by asking you, why
does self care feel likesomething you have to earn, like
you have to have some permissionto rest? Why is that even

(02:20):
healers, intuitives andspiritually minded souls can
fall into this trap of thinkingthat self care is indulgent, and
at the same time they'reencouraging other people to take
better care of themselves, andseeing firsthand the disarray
and the disease within the bodythat a lack of self care can

(02:42):
cause. It's one of the greatestparadoxes of the healing path.
You know the truth about selfcare. You believe in it 100% for
others, you advocate for it. Butwhen it comes to you, there's
this voice that says, Not yet,not until I've done more, not
until I've taken care ofeverything else. Oh, let me just

(03:05):
start by saying this won't beeveryone's life experience, but
from a lot of healers andempaths, what I'm going to share
today is very real. And ifsomething in your heart feels a
quiet yes as I speak, then I amdefinitely talking to you today.
There are a lot of blockages inour mindset when it comes to

(03:28):
self care, and most of themdidn't start with you. Now more
than ever, there is so muchenergetically being asked of us.
We're living our lives. We'retaking care of other people,
we're serving our clients. We'restaying connected to our sense
of purpose, while at the sametime, navigating a nervous

(03:50):
system onslaught every singleday. It's a lot. And if you're
an empath, I know you're feelingjust how intense it is. We
cannot pretend that we're not ina different time. Right now,
something different is beingasked of us also, and many
intuitive people you've knownthis. Maybe you've had health

(04:12):
challenges that forced you toreevaluate how you show up for
yourself. Maybe spirit has beenwhispering to you that it's time
to change. Or maybe you justfeel this inner knowing that the
old ways of pushing through andkeeping going aren't working
anymore. We don't have the timeanymore to talk about self care

(04:36):
without really living it,because when we don't, we're
headed straight into burnout,and beyond that, into something
that disconnects us from ourcore, that leads us into the
dark night of the soul when itgoes on too long. There's a
theme that I've been noticingaround all of the cultural

(04:58):
upheaval and division that seemsto be marking this era right
now, and that theme isintegrity. We are being asked to
live in full and. Integrity tohold the vibration of real love,
and that starts by living whatwe say we believe. If you
believe in love, compassion andcare, then that vibration has to

(05:20):
flow both ways, outward andinward. Self care is not just
this luxury, it's how wepractice integrity with
ourselves. It's how we live thattrue fullness of vibration. And
if you know self care matters,if you know in your heart that
it's not selfish, why does itstill feel so out of reach? So

(05:42):
let's take a deeper look atwhere that resistance originates
from many healers and empaths.
Grew up absorbing subtle andsometimes not so subtle,
messages that caring for otherscomes first, that your needs
come second, or that sometimes,in some cases, in some family
dynamics, they don't matter atall. In fact, most healers

(06:05):
became who they are because theywere trying to heal a
dysfunctional family system.
They were compensating. So someof us developed our empathic
abilities early on, not as agift at first, but as a means of
survival, learning how to readthe room to sense when someone

(06:27):
in your life was safe or whenthey were in an unstable or
unsafe place. Maybe they wereangry, maybe they were drunk,
maybe they were aggressive, butbeing able to sense when they
were destabilized. Many healersstarted healing early in their
family of origin. And that's notbecause that's something that

(06:50):
they chose, but it's becausethey had to. So at a time when
you really should have beenlearning how to regulate
yourself, how to explore yourinterest, how to build your
sense of self, you were focusedentirely on someone else, or on
several people depending on thefamily dynamic, you learned

(07:12):
perhaps that your safetydepended on someone else's mood,
and so your attention begins tofocus outward, always scanning,
always adjusting, always tryingto make things better so that
you could feel safe, and thatscanning outward, that
sensitivity to the emotionalstate of others, that becomes

(07:34):
very hyper aware and hypervigilant, is what makes a super
strong empath. So at that timeof life, self care wasn't about
you. It was about taking care ofothers, because if they were
okay, then you you couldbreathe. You didn't learn how to
ask, What do I need right now?
You learned how to ignore yourneeds, how to bury your feelings

(07:56):
and do what it took to keep thepeace, whatever that happened to
be, and that's where selfabandonment begins, and that's
what we have to gently unlearn.
When you grow up in survivalmode, anything about you can
feel indulgent, so rest, nope,not when there's more to do,

(08:19):
joy, not when others arestruggling. Play only if it
doesn't inconvenience anyoneelse. You may have even taught
yourself not to even hope forthose things. So even happy
moments like birthdays orholidays might have also felt
unsafe because attention on youmay have triggered chaos around

(08:41):
you, depending on your familysystem. So when you think about
caring for yourself now,something inside still kind of
whispers, nope, I don't needthat headache today. No, thank
you. Just take a moment let thatsink in.
And if this is your pattern, youprobably still feel the most

(09:03):
comfortable looking outward,which again, makes you an
amazing Empath, asking questionslike, well, who needs me now?
Who can I help? Who or whatneeds my worry energy? There
will always be someone who'shappy to receive your light, but
when you are giving from anempty place, it costs you. The

(09:27):
people around you might see youas the strong one, the one who
can handle it all, even thingsthey can't seem to handle
themselves. So they don't alwayshold space for you. They don't
check in on you. They assumethat you're okay, and your
feeling of neglect andloneliness gets wider. And

(09:48):
here's the thing, it's this isnot about them. This is about
you. And this pattern that hasbeen learned, you've learned to
regulate yourself throughothers. You've learned to put
yourself. Last, but here's youropportunity right now to know
yourself, because to care foryourself, to love yourself, you
have to know what it is that youneed. And that takes time. It

(10:13):
takes gentleness. It takespausing long enough to really
shift where you're listeninginward, really listening to that
small voice that maybe hasn'thad space to speak before, or
speak as loudly as it's reallyneeded to before. So let's just
kind of pause for a moment andprocess, because this is big and

(10:35):
you don't have to fix it all atonce. It's a strong dynamic
that's at play, but we can startto take some new steps, create
some new energy, like crack openthe door and begin to address
the root cause, and that canlook like just taking one little
step. So what's one loving thingthat you can offer yourself

(10:59):
today just because you areworthy of love, not because
you've earned it, not becauseyou've done enough, not because
you got all the right checkmarks on your to do list today,
but just because you matter, andyour happiness matters, your
body matters, your spiritmatters. And as we talk about

(11:21):
this, I want to just expressthat this is about awareness.
It's not about blaming others ordiving back into the past and
living in the past. It's aboutunderstanding where these
patterns came from, so that youcan just lovingly bring them
into the light and begin toshift them. You are not here to

(11:42):
live in survival mode anymore,and you're not here to abandon
yourself or to put yourself onthe back burner for this
mystical time which seems tonever come of when you get to be
first. So we talked earlierabout integrity. Integrity means
that your actions reflect yourdeepest values. And if you value

(12:03):
love, if you value healing andcare, it's time to let that love
flow inward. So let it startsmall. You can pause whenever
you feel the urge to fix that'sa big one. Take a breath when
you feel the urge to push beyondyour limit or give just a little

(12:26):
bit more, when you're alreadyrunning on fumes, and start to
ask yourself this reallyimportant question, what do I
need right now? And then justlisten, because you are worth
listening to, and if you're ahealer, if you're intuitive, if
you're a sensitive person, yourinsights are powerful. You've

(12:48):
seen it in how you've shown upfor other people. Having that
same powerful insight foryourself, just being able to
listen to that wisdom that'salready speaking to you can
really open your whole world up.
Now, what I want you to rememberabout this, though, is that if
this has been a pattern for youin your life, it won't feel

(13:10):
natural to put yourself first.
Self care will feel stressful.
It will feel uncomfortable inthe beginning. That is, and
that's probably part of thereason right now that you avoid
it as well, because it feels souncomfortable. But as you begin
to expand your consciousness toinclude a more balanced way of
living, you're going to begin tonormalize it. It will feel

(13:33):
easier, and as it begins to feeleasier, you'll have so many more
rewards to appreciate that, justreinforce it for you, your body
will be able to speak to youmore clearly, to give you more
insights into your own healingjourney. You'll become even more
intuitive, because you'll belistening to all that
information that's available toyou, the inward information and

(13:55):
the outward vibes. You'll bestronger and more resilient,
much more solid and grounded,because you're begin to fully
occupy your root chakra. I mean,just the acknowledgement of the
body is the temple, is our rootchakra. The list of benefits
just goes on and on and on. It'sa beautiful thing when a healer

(14:17):
turns their own light andabilities to their life. That's
the kind of energy that youreally feel when someone walks
into a room and their aura isjust full of light and full of
energy, that it just impacts thespace that they're even in.
That's what we're talking about.

(14:38):
So today we're going tochallenge that old story, the
old energy blockage that's beensitting in the back of your mind
and how you relate to yourselfand others, that self care is
indulgent because it isn'tindulgent. You know, this self
care is essential, and thisblockage is 100% ready to shift,

(14:58):
or else you wouldn't. And belistening to this today. This
message wouldn't have found youif it wasn't meant for you. So
as you start to shift thisenergy, and as you take those
first steps to pause yourselfwhen you're feeling the fixer
inside, wanting to fix things, Iwant you to also reflect a
little bit today about whatearly messages about rest and

(15:22):
about self care is still guidingyour actions. What is your
default way of approaching selfcare? How is it modeled for you
in your life? What messages wereyou taught about your role in
other people's self care and intheir regulation and in their
management? Because this can allbegin to illuminate some really

(15:43):
important places that are readyto level up for you, that are
ready to take the next step inyour living life to the fullest,
and your next level ofembodiment in consciousness. So
I invite you to dig deeper intothat, to not let that kind of
fall on deaf ears, so you cansee where some of these personal

(16:05):
blockages in your self carehabits might have originated
from, so that, that way you canstart to shift and heal it head
on. I'm excited about us goingdeeper into self care blockages.
I think this is significant.
It's important. It's not enoughto just say, take better care of
yourself. We have to address theroot blockages to that beautiful

(16:26):
flow of energy within so that wehave a highway of love flowing
within and outside of us. I'mexcited to see where this takes
us in our journey together.
Thank you for joining us. Iwould love it if you would take
a moment to rate and review apodcast, wherever it is that you
are listening, to make sure thatyou are following us, so that

(16:48):
you get all the updates on newepisodes. All right, everyone,
many blessings. The

Robert Wooten (16:55):
modern life and spirit podcast is for
informational purposes only. Theinformation provided is not
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medical or psychologicalillness. To read the full
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