Accountability Starts At Home

Send us a text

We explore how accountability shapes character, builds trust, and helps us raise kids who own their choices. We share personal stories, practical scripts, and the simple formula that turns tough moments into growth.

• defining accountability as owning decisions without blame
• why maturity is measured by ownership, not age
• accountability plus responsibility equals trust
• the cost of excuses, defensiveness, and victim mindset
• modeling ownership in relationships and red flags
• coaching kids with repair-focused questions
• turning correction into education at home
• building a family language of honesty and repair

If you did, tell another single mom and leave me some feedback
If you're listening to me on YouTube, hey, leave notes in the comments and don't forget to subscribe to my channel

https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/

As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast,
where this podcast is designedto encourage and motivate and
most of all educate you when itcomes to parenting and invite
critical thinking skills.
Now, if this is your first timejoining, welcome.

(00:22):
If you are a repeat listener,thank you for your loyalty.
I tell you, I cannot expressthat enough for your return
visits to this particularpodcast, especially knowing
there's so many other podcastsout there that you could be
listening to.
So thank you so very much.

(00:45):
Hey, I'm not gonna prolong thetime.
I'm gonna get right down to it.
I'm back to planting characterseeds as it relates to how to
grow this behavior in yourchild.
You know, I often focus onsaying, hey, do this with your
child, etc., etc.
But you know, this is good foryou as well, mom.

(01:08):
And I hope you're absorbing mostof what I'm sharing with you
today because you are going tohave to pass this along, or at
least you should, as your kidsare growing up in this world,
they're going to encounter alot, so you have to mold them so
that they can be in position toaccept what comes their way, and

(01:34):
there's going to be a lot thatcomes their way, and you should
know that because you'veexperienced a lot, I've
experienced a lot.
So the Mom to Mentor podcastagain is all about educating or
education as it relates to ourkids and to you.

(01:56):
You are a mentor, you're morethan a nurturer, you are or
should be an example to yourchildren because they're
watching, they are watching you,they're watching your every
move.
When you think they aren'twatching, they're watching and
they're absorbing that.
And guess what?

(02:17):
That's creating their character.
Now, again, if you don't teachthem, somebody else will.
And what you're gonna have to dowhen someone else teaches them
and it goes against your valuesand your morals, guess what?
Now you're getting in correctingmode or correction mode.
That's where I was when I wasraising my kids, starting a lot

(02:40):
of correcting instead of justbeing proactive and educating
and teaching them about what itmeans to encounter certain
things in life and developingcertain behaviors and so forth.
So that's what this podcast isall about is me giving you the

(03:00):
tools, the resources, so thatyou can be prepared to not only
for yourself absorb thisbehavior and do better, right?
There's always opportunity forus to do better.
And then once we do better, thenwe can teach our child better.
I've always said a good momteaches, a bad mom doesn't.

(03:24):
And yes, I fall in the categoryof being a bad mom because there
were times I just didn't teachmy children and I didn't know
any better.
But hopefully, ladies, based onthis podcast, you can do better
than I did because now I'mtrying to equip you with how to

(03:46):
do that, with how to be thatstrong example for your children
and what you should be teachingyour children.
All right, now that I've gottenall that out the way, thank you
for your patience.
So, what am I talking abouttoday?
Talking about accountability.
Yeah, accountability.

(04:09):
What is it?
It's required and expected tojustify actions or decisions,
being responsible.
So, to bring it down to anotherlevel or to rephrase it,
accountability is just owningyour decisions and not placing
blame.
For instance, with our children,they're here, and for whatever

(04:33):
reason, the father is not activeor just not present for whatever
reason.
So we can't go back and say, oh,he's this, he's that, and
da-da-da-da-da.
And he may be, but guess what,ladies?
If he didn't assault you andthen you got pregnant, then

(04:54):
guess what?
You own this, right?
You own the decision of havingthis child because you could
have had an abortion.
I'm glad you didn't, but you ownthe decision once you find out
you were pregnant to say, yeah,I'm gonna have this baby, you
know, whether he's here or not,I'm having this baby.

(05:15):
And he may even promise at thebeginning that, hey, I'm gonna
be here to support you, and thenfor whatever reason, went left
and said, See you, and that'sanother story for another time.
But you own the decision to havethe child, that's being
accountable and beingresponsible.

(05:36):
You made the decision of havingsexual intercourse with dude,
and you got pregnant.
Okay, that's what happens,right?
When you have unprotected sex,I'm just gonna keep it real, and
but you stood up and said, youknow what?

(05:57):
Yes, I'm pregnant.
I'm gonna have this child.
I'm going to do this.
So you've already met theexpectation of accountability.
Whoop, whoop.
So give yourself a pat on theback or put those hands together
and do a clap out loud becausenow you're taking ownership.

(06:20):
You made a decision and yousaid, I'm gonna do this.
Great job, ladies.
You are well on your way asunderstanding what
accountability looks like.
So, why do we needaccountability?
It represents maturity when youown the decision you make.

(06:41):
Yeah, so guess what?
Even at the young age that youdecided to have this child,
you're still saying, Hey, I'mowning my decision, and that's
the maturity part of this, isbecause now, you know, it we
always link maturity to age, andthat's not always the case.

(07:04):
There's a lot of older peoplethat are still immature, but
when you own your decision,boom, boom, you go straight to
the top, ma'am, and number one,as being mature and accepting
your decision that you made tohave your child and other
decisions, not just this, butthis one is major, but there's

(07:26):
other decisions you've had tomake and are going to have to
make, and some of them are notgoing to turn out well, but you
own it.
I made the decision because thatwas the best decision at the
time.
So accountability andresponsibility, they go hand in

(07:49):
hand, they are linked.
You are headed in the rightdirection, ladies, if you've
made that decision to have thatchild, even though the father is
not active, you're owning it.
So that's great.
I can't do anything but applaudyou in that situation.
Now, not being accountable foryour decision is going to limit

(08:12):
progression.
Okay, so I've already given youkudos for making one of the most
important decisions you'll evermake in your life.
But then there are gonna be somedecisions where it's not gonna
turn out well, but you stillneed to own it because if you
don't own it, it's gonna hinderyour progression, it's gonna

(08:35):
hinder your growth.
It impacts trust when you don'town your decision.
You start doing the blame game,right?
It's everybody else's fault.
You start making excuses becauseof what happened, right?
You play the victim, and that'snot okay.

(08:57):
And you become defensive whenit's brought to your attention.
So again, if you had to lay thefoundation of what
accountability looks like again,it goes back to you accepting,
hey, I'm a parent now, or I'mgoing to be a parent, right?

(09:18):
And owning that.
And you're not gonna blame it onhim, although he was there, but
you're not gonna blame it onhim.
You have to move in the samedirection when it comes to other
decisions, and I tell you, Ican't count them on one hand or
two hands.

(09:38):
Decisions I made that weren'tgood, but I owned them.
I didn't say so-and-so didn'ttell me this or so-and-so didn't
tell me.
No, I owned it.
You know what?
Thought it was the best decisionat the time based on the
information I had.
And so therefore, I went aheadand made the decision to do XYZ.

(10:02):
And that's how you talk it off,mom.
It was based on the informationyou had at the time.
This doesn't become the blamegame, this becomes I own it
game, and I learned my lessonfrom it.
And as you continue to go intorelationships, mom, and the new

(10:30):
dude is displaying the samecharacteristics as your baby's
father, it's up to you to own itif he doesn't stick around.
Okay, because you've alreadyseen this behavior once, but you
made the decision to say, oh,okay, well, he does this, he

(10:51):
does that.
Okay, but when he doesn't liveup to expectations, hey, the red
flags were there and you choseto ignore them.
So, mom, this is not time to dothe blame game and say he's this
and he's that, and you ain't allof that excess, unnecessary,

(11:16):
unproductive commentary relatedto his character isn't necessary
because you allowed it.
So own it and say, you knowwhat?
XYZ, he did this, and I don'tlike that, I don't need this in
my next relationship.

(11:37):
Yeah, and that's how you growbecause you take that
disappointment and say, you knowwhat, I'm gonna do better the
next time.
And it's just that easy.
And so now, once you startdisplaying that accountability
or acknowledging your decisions,now you can teach your children

(12:05):
when my kids were growing up andthey'd be tussling in the house
and they end up breakingsomething, and I would say, Who
broke this?
And they would look at eachother and wouldn't say nothing.
Okay, this what we're doing,okay.
It's only the two of y'all, andthis is what we're doing, okay.
So nobody was accountable forthe breaking of an item in my

(12:28):
home.
So they both got whoopings,right?
But that was my so that's whereI talk about correcting
behavior, right?
I'm correcting them not beingaccountable for breaking the
item.
But I should have put a commabehind the correcting and

(12:49):
educated of what accountabilitymeans and where it's going to
take them in the future.
But no, I just corrected thembecause nobody owned up to,
yeah, I broke it.
It was me.
I did it.
And you know what?
And had they stood up and wereaccountable for the action, they

(13:15):
may not have gotten scolded.
I'm pretty sure they probablywouldn't have, because now
you're owning it, and it couldhave been an accident that they
were tussling around and boom,and the face broke.
Okay, life happens and so forth,but I need you to acknowledge
that it was you that did it, andthat's what we want to do with

(13:40):
our children, moms, and explainto them why it's important, it's
a direct link to trust.
And if you ever want to betrusted, then this is some of
the things you have to do aspart of the process.
So, ladies, I encourage you notonly for your sake of being

(14:07):
accountable, but teach yourchildren the importance of
accountability.
It's gonna take them a lotfurther in life, it's going to
help them in futurerelationships and encounters
that they have with people,especially once they get into

(14:30):
the workforce.
Let's not place the blame gameon your decisions, why it's
important for you to own thosedecisions, because it's a direct
link to trust.
So if you don't take anythingelse away from this episode,
just remember accountabilityplus responsibility equals

(14:53):
trust.
Hey, I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode.
If you did, tell another singlemom and leave me some feedback.
If you're listening to me onYouTube, hey, leave notes in the
comments and don't forget tosubscribe to my channel.
Have a great day, ladies.

(15:14):
Take care.