May 7, 2025 • 18 mins
We explore the meaningful distinction between being a "mother" who provides basic necessities and being a "mom" who sacrifices, teaches, and prepares children for long-term success in life.
• A mother provides basic necessities like food, shelter, and clothing
• A mom goes beyond basics by teaching life skills and preparing children for independence
• Protecting children from adult situations while still teaching responsibility
• Teaching household skills like laundry and cleaning from ages 8-10
• The power of telling your child "I'm proud of you" regularly
• Teaching children financial literacy and money management
• Being proactive about your child's education and homework completion
• Finding balance between authority and open communication
Visit singlemomunitedpodcast.com to share your feedback about these episodes and let me know if you find them encouraging and helpful.
https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/
It's not how you arrived at the title, but what you do with it.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
If this is your first timejoining, welcome If you are a
repeat listener.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Before I get the party startedtoday, I want to remind everyone
that I do have a website.
(00:24):
It's called singlem unitedpodcastcom and, yes, I'm working
on creating a short link there,but for now is single moms
united podcastcom.
I would love for you to providesome feedback to me on my blog.
(00:44):
Let me know what you thinkabout these episodes.
Are they helpful and do youfind yourself encouraged by the
content?
Yeah, I know that I'm not thegreatest sounding person in the
world, and that's okay.
That's okay, but it really isall about the content of the
(01:05):
message, because it's designedto encourage and motivate the
single mom.
So if you would please, ma'amor sir I think there are some
gentlemen that might belistening I just would love to
get some feedback from you.
I would love to know if youfind value in these episodes and
(01:28):
what I could do better, becausethat's how I'm going to get
better, based on your feedback.
So if you would do that for me,I would be so ever, ever, ever
grateful.
Today I want to talk aboutMother's Day.
Just as I provided an episodelast year about father versus
(01:50):
dad, I want to do something verysimilar as it relates to mother
versus mom and kind of talkabout the differences between
the two titles.
As a mother, we're all mothers,but are we all moms?
Think about that.
In my opinion, a mother justprovides basic necessities for
(02:16):
the child, such as making surethey have food, clothes, a roof
over their head and just tryingto be a good mother and
providing the basics.
A mom is all about sacrificing,teaching and just making sure
they go above and beyond fortheir child and making sure
(02:39):
they're going to be successfullong-term.
So basically not just relyingon day-to-day basic needs, going
after and making sure they havewhat they need to be successful
in life.
Now I can honestly say when Ihad my son, you know I was a
(02:59):
mother.
I didn't know anything aboutbeing a mom.
I was still calling my mom momand I think she's the greatest
mom in the world and I'mthankful that she's still with
us because she taught me how tobe a woman.
She taught me how to beresponsible.
When I first became a mother,you know, I did the basics.
(03:23):
And guess what, ladies, it'sokay to have the mother title.
What I would say is this is notdesigned to be long-term.
For you to say I'm justproviding the basics for my
child, because at some point yougot to go from ground level to
the next floor, you got to hitthe up button in the elevator on
(03:48):
this thing called parenting,because otherwise, if you stay
at the basics, you're notpreparing your child or your
children for life.
Anybody can provide basics, buta true mom goes above and
beyond.
So let's talk about that.
(04:09):
Being a mother again, verybasic.
You're providing food, shelterand clothing.
But being a mom, you now have tobecome a teacher, you have to
become a motivator, you have toput on a mentor status.
If you will, okay, you have tostart to learn your child.
(04:31):
Now.
That doesn't mean becomingtheir friend.
That's a difference.
Right, you should have a goodbalance of your child or
children being able to come andtalk to you about certain things
, but yet still respect you astheir parent.
And a lot of times, when momswant to be their child's friend,
(04:53):
the respect gets lost.
So just be careful of that,because now you are treading on
very soft surfaces when you'retrying to become their friend,
and so I just want to be clear.
It has everything to do withrespect.
But as a mom, you know you'recareful not to let your child
see and hear everything thathappens.
(05:14):
You are careful not to allowthem to participate in adult
situations.
I'll say that again as a mom,you are prepared to not allow
them to participate in adultsituations.
Allow them to participate inadult situations.
When I was growing up and mymom would be on the phone, there
(05:35):
was adult conversationhappening, or even if she had
visitors, kids had to go outside.
You weren't allowed to hangaround and hear these
conversations.
Now, whether they were good,bad, indifferent, you weren't
allowed, because these wereadults talking and somewhere
along the line during life'sjourney.
(05:57):
You know we've started allowingour children to participate in
adult situations.
I'm all about letting a child bea child.
You curse and you curse often.
Your child really shouldn'thear all of that, mom.
They're going to startmimicking you and when you get
(06:18):
them out in a public setting,such as school or church or any
other public setting, guess what?
They're going to startrepeating some of that same
language they heard you say andthat shouldn't be.
Let your child be a child.
Now there will be times where aword will slip out depending on
what the situation is.
(06:39):
I get it, but that shouldn't bea regular.
And then you should go back andexplain to your child oops, you
know what I don't ever want tohear you say that it's
inappropriate.
I shouldn't have said it, itwas an accident.
So you still have time to cleanthat up, whatever slips out.
(06:59):
That way your child knows thedifference Because, remember,
you're a teacher now.
So as a mom, you're teaching,you're motivating and you're
encouraging.
As a single mom and really themom title period you don't even
have to be a single mom, but asa mom you have to be careful of
(07:21):
what your child or children hearand see.
You have to be one that theylook up to and say I'm proud of
you.
Mom, let me tell you that isone of the greatest phrases I've
ever heard, and especially whenit comes from your child.
And guess what?
(07:43):
You should be saying that toyour child I'm proud of you.
That phrase goes so muchfurther than some of the basics
that you provide to your child.
Please, single mom or mom, ifyou haven't told your child
you're proud of them, starttoday.
That is one of the greatestmotivational phrases that can
(08:08):
ever come out of your mouthBecause, remember, they're
trying to get things done.
And they're trying to getthings done in a single parent
household.
When you're a single parent,you're trying to hustle, get
food on the table and make sureyour child is taken care of.
When that happens, things getlost in translation.
(08:28):
And when I say that I'm talkingabout time, that time you would
love to spend with your childis not always going to be there.
Since you're taking on dualroles as a provider, make sure
you tell your child I'm proud ofyou, you can do this.
And secondly, as a mom, alongthe lines of teaching, you're
(08:51):
training your children how toparticipate in life.
And when I say that, I would saybetween eight and 10, 10 at the
max you should be teaching yourchild how to do household
chores.
If it's loading the dishwasher,then let it be loading the
dishwasher Laundry.
(09:12):
You should be introducing yourchild into how to work a washing
machine.
And even if you don't have awashing machine and you have to
go to the laundromat, you shouldstill allow them to put the
clothes in the washer, how toseparate the clothes, how to
look at the tags on the clothesand how to properly wash them.
(09:35):
You should be doing that, mom,and that's not that difficult.
As a mom, we have to and we areresponsible for making sure our
children are ready for life.
That includes training them.
You also want to teach themabout money, creating a budget,
(09:57):
and the good news is, withtoday's technology, all of that
is so easy.
You can just look it up, googleit Artificial intelligence out
there these days.
You can go out there, learn itfor yourself and then teach your
children.
For example, about a year or soago, my little nephew was up
(10:17):
helping me do some yard work andso forth and I told him I'd
give him $25 for helping me out.
And then, as I was taking himhome, we stopped at a store and
we were walking around and soforth and he saw something he
liked and he asked me if hecould have it.
I said oh sure, you can have it.
I said, but it's coming out ofthe $25 that I was going to pay
(10:40):
you.
And all of a sudden his wholeattitude changed because now
it's coming out of the money Iwas going to pay him.
He thought it was going to beextra, but that's how our
children think.
They don't value the dollar andwhat it takes to earn the
dollar until you say it's comingout of the money I owe you.
(11:04):
They need to know about taxes,all of that stuff and the money
that comes out as a result.
How to save All of these thingsneed to be taught to our
children.
And I hear you well, nobodytaught me.
And you're right, nobody taughtme either.
I think one of my greatest and Imentioned this in the past
(11:27):
issues I faced as a singleparent is finances and managing
finances.
Those first few years ofparenting, I mean it was just
awful because I did not know howto balance between debits and
credits financially, how toproperly manage on what I had.
(11:51):
We can defeat this issue,single mom, by you just training
your child in some key areasthat they're going to experience
in life.
Once your child leaves yourhome, there should be no
guesswork about how to dolaundry, how to keep a house
clean and how to earn money andhow to stay within budget.
(12:15):
That's your goal and that'swhat makes you a mom A mother.
Let's take it, for example, withschool.
A mother will just say, okay,they'll get the report card,
sign off on it and go back tothe teacher.
Never go through understanding.
Well, why did you get an F inthis class?
They just signed the reportcard and I'm sure it's probably
(12:39):
digital now I don't know it'sbeen so long.
But signing it and send it backwithout asking questions,
that's a mother.
But a mom is going to gothrough those grades, what's
going on here, and not toreprimand the child unless they
were just goofing off.
But some children may find somesubjects difficult, but that's
(13:02):
up to you mom to understand.
Why are you struggling inEnglish?
And then talk to the teacherand ask the teacher what can I
do to help?
Sometimes it's just making surethey do their homework.
Sometimes it's just gettingthat document or that homework,
reviewing it and make sure it'scompleted.
(13:22):
Some of this, that's what'sbeing taught.
Unless you are actually in class, you may not understand
everything fully.
So you don't want to misleadyour child, but you certainly
can check to make sure it's done.
And then you can even set up anarrangement with the teacher by
(13:43):
email.
You know what was today'shomework or something to that
effect, or maybe before the weekbegins or the week ends, and
you just work it out with theteacher what was the work this
week?
And go through your child'shomework and to make sure it was
done, because, guarantee you,some of them are be like, yeah,
(14:06):
ain't nobody watching, so I'mjust going to stick it right
here and we're going to go onwith life.
But once you know ahead of timeand you're proactive of what
work is being given and what'srequired to be done, you can go
back and check that.
And I encourage you to do that,because now your child is not
(14:27):
gonna just blow it off.
They're not just gonna blow itout.
Well, mommy ain't looking, so,teacher, don't care, I'm just
not gonna do it.
But we're talking about theirfuture and that's how we have to
explain that to the kids.
This is your future we'retalking about.
So long story short.
Ladies, I hope that you foundvalue in today's episode of the
(14:51):
difference between a mother anda mom.
A mother provides basics.
A mom sacrifices.
I hope you all have a greatMother's Day.
I hope state that you are oneof the greatest moms ever.
Right, we're not perfect.
(15:11):
Why would we be perfect livingin an imperfect world?
But the good news is how doyour child or your children see
you?
Are you being a positiveexample in front of them?
That's what makes a great mom,take care, ladies.
I hope to talk with you soon.
Hey ladies, welcome to the Single Moms United
podcast.
If this is your first timejoining, welcome If you are a
repeat listener.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Before I get the party startedtoday, I want to remind everyone
that I do have a website.
(00:24):
It's called singlem unitedpodcastcom and, yes, I'm working
on creating a short link there,but for now is single moms
united podcastcom.
I would love for you to providesome feedback to me on my blog.
(00:44):
Let me know what you thinkabout these episodes.
Are they helpful and do youfind yourself encouraged by the
content?
Yeah, I know that I'm not thegreatest sounding person in the
world, and that's okay.
That's okay, but it really isall about the content of the
(01:05):
message, because it's designedto encourage and motivate the
single mom.
So if you would please, ma'amor sir I think there are some
gentlemen that might belistening I just would love to
get some feedback from you.
I would love to know if youfind value in these episodes and
(01:28):
what I could do better, becausethat's how I'm going to get
better, based on your feedback.
So if you would do that for me,I would be so ever, ever, ever
grateful.
Today I want to talk aboutMother's Day.
Just as I provided an episodelast year about father versus
(01:50):
dad, I want to do something verysimilar as it relates to mother
versus mom and kind of talkabout the differences between
the two titles.
As a mother, we're all mothers,but are we all moms?
Think about that.
In my opinion, a mother justprovides basic necessities for
(02:16):
the child, such as making surethey have food, clothes, a roof
over their head and just tryingto be a good mother and
providing the basics.
A mom is all about sacrificing,teaching and just making sure
they go above and beyond fortheir child and making sure
(02:39):
they're going to be successfullong-term.
So basically not just relyingon day-to-day basic needs, going
after and making sure they havewhat they need to be successful
in life.
Now I can honestly say when Ihad my son, you know I was a
(02:59):
mother.
I didn't know anything aboutbeing a mom.
I was still calling my mom momand I think she's the greatest
mom in the world and I'mthankful that she's still with
us because she taught me how tobe a woman.
She taught me how to beresponsible.
When I first became a mother,you know, I did the basics.
(03:23):
And guess what, ladies, it'sokay to have the mother title.
What I would say is this is notdesigned to be long-term.
For you to say I'm justproviding the basics for my
child, because at some point yougot to go from ground level to
the next floor, you got to hitthe up button in the elevator on
(03:48):
this thing called parenting,because otherwise, if you stay
at the basics, you're notpreparing your child or your
children for life.
Anybody can provide basics, buta true mom goes above and
beyond.
So let's talk about that.
(04:09):
Being a mother again, verybasic.
You're providing food, shelterand clothing.
But being a mom, you now have tobecome a teacher, you have to
become a motivator, you have toput on a mentor status.
If you will, okay, you have tostart to learn your child.
(04:31):
Now.
That doesn't mean becomingtheir friend.
That's a difference.
Right, you should have a goodbalance of your child or
children being able to come andtalk to you about certain things
, but yet still respect you astheir parent.
And a lot of times, when momswant to be their child's friend,
(04:53):
the respect gets lost.
So just be careful of that,because now you are treading on
very soft surfaces when you'retrying to become their friend,
and so I just want to be clear.
It has everything to do withrespect.
But as a mom, you know you'recareful not to let your child
see and hear everything thathappens.
(05:14):
You are careful not to allowthem to participate in adult
situations.
I'll say that again as a mom,you are prepared to not allow
them to participate in adultsituations.
Allow them to participate inadult situations.
When I was growing up and mymom would be on the phone, there
(05:35):
was adult conversationhappening, or even if she had
visitors, kids had to go outside.
You weren't allowed to hangaround and hear these
conversations.
Now, whether they were good,bad, indifferent, you weren't
allowed, because these wereadults talking and somewhere
along the line during life'sjourney.
(05:57):
You know we've started allowingour children to participate in
adult situations.
I'm all about letting a child bea child.
You curse and you curse often.
Your child really shouldn'thear all of that, mom.
They're going to startmimicking you and when you get
(06:18):
them out in a public setting,such as school or church or any
other public setting, guess what?
They're going to startrepeating some of that same
language they heard you say andthat shouldn't be.
Let your child be a child.
Now there will be times where aword will slip out depending on
what the situation is.
(06:39):
I get it, but that shouldn't bea regular.
And then you should go back andexplain to your child oops, you
know what I don't ever want tohear you say that it's
inappropriate.
I shouldn't have said it, itwas an accident.
So you still have time to cleanthat up, whatever slips out.
(06:59):
That way your child knows thedifference Because, remember,
you're a teacher now.
So as a mom, you're teaching,you're motivating and you're
encouraging.
As a single mom and really themom title period you don't even
have to be a single mom, but asa mom you have to be careful of
(07:21):
what your child or children hearand see.
You have to be one that theylook up to and say I'm proud of
you.
Mom, let me tell you that isone of the greatest phrases I've
ever heard, and especially whenit comes from your child.
And guess what?
(07:43):
You should be saying that toyour child I'm proud of you.
That phrase goes so muchfurther than some of the basics
that you provide to your child.
Please, single mom or mom, ifyou haven't told your child
you're proud of them, starttoday.
That is one of the greatestmotivational phrases that can
(08:08):
ever come out of your mouthBecause, remember, they're
trying to get things done.
And they're trying to getthings done in a single parent
household.
When you're a single parent,you're trying to hustle, get
food on the table and make sureyour child is taken care of.
When that happens, things getlost in translation.
(08:28):
And when I say that I'm talkingabout time, that time you would
love to spend with your childis not always going to be there.
Since you're taking on dualroles as a provider, make sure
you tell your child I'm proud ofyou, you can do this.
And secondly, as a mom, alongthe lines of teaching, you're
(08:51):
training your children how toparticipate in life.
And when I say that, I would saybetween eight and 10, 10 at the
max you should be teaching yourchild how to do household
chores.
If it's loading the dishwasher,then let it be loading the
dishwasher Laundry.
(09:12):
You should be introducing yourchild into how to work a washing
machine.
And even if you don't have awashing machine and you have to
go to the laundromat, you shouldstill allow them to put the
clothes in the washer, how toseparate the clothes, how to
look at the tags on the clothesand how to properly wash them.
(09:35):
You should be doing that, mom,and that's not that difficult.
As a mom, we have to and we areresponsible for making sure our
children are ready for life.
That includes training them.
You also want to teach themabout money, creating a budget,
(09:57):
and the good news is, withtoday's technology, all of that
is so easy.
You can just look it up, googleit Artificial intelligence out
there these days.
You can go out there, learn itfor yourself and then teach your
children.
For example, about a year or soago, my little nephew was up
(10:17):
helping me do some yard work andso forth and I told him I'd
give him $25 for helping me out.
And then, as I was taking himhome, we stopped at a store and
we were walking around and soforth and he saw something he
liked and he asked me if hecould have it.
I said oh sure, you can have it.
I said, but it's coming out ofthe $25 that I was going to pay
(10:40):
you.
And all of a sudden his wholeattitude changed because now
it's coming out of the money Iwas going to pay him.
He thought it was going to beextra, but that's how our
children think.
They don't value the dollar andwhat it takes to earn the
dollar until you say it's comingout of the money I owe you.
(11:04):
They need to know about taxes,all of that stuff and the money
that comes out as a result.
How to save All of these thingsneed to be taught to our
children.
And I hear you well, nobodytaught me.
And you're right, nobody taughtme either.
I think one of my greatest and Imentioned this in the past
(11:27):
issues I faced as a singleparent is finances and managing
finances.
Those first few years ofparenting, I mean it was just
awful because I did not know howto balance between debits and
credits financially, how toproperly manage on what I had.
(11:51):
We can defeat this issue,single mom, by you just training
your child in some key areasthat they're going to experience
in life.
Once your child leaves yourhome, there should be no
guesswork about how to dolaundry, how to keep a house
clean and how to earn money andhow to stay within budget.
(12:15):
That's your goal and that'swhat makes you a mom A mother.
Let's take it, for example, withschool.
A mother will just say, okay,they'll get the report card,
sign off on it and go back tothe teacher.
Never go through understanding.
Well, why did you get an F inthis class?
They just signed the reportcard and I'm sure it's probably
(12:39):
digital now I don't know it'sbeen so long.
But signing it and send it backwithout asking questions,
that's a mother.
But a mom is going to gothrough those grades, what's
going on here, and not toreprimand the child unless they
were just goofing off.
But some children may find somesubjects difficult, but that's
(13:02):
up to you mom to understand.
Why are you struggling inEnglish?
And then talk to the teacherand ask the teacher what can I
do to help?
Sometimes it's just making surethey do their homework.
Sometimes it's just gettingthat document or that homework,
reviewing it and make sure it'scompleted.
(13:22):
Some of this, that's what'sbeing taught.
Unless you are actually in class, you may not understand
everything fully.
So you don't want to misleadyour child, but you certainly
can check to make sure it's done.
And then you can even set up anarrangement with the teacher by
(13:43):
email.
You know what was today'shomework or something to that
effect, or maybe before the weekbegins or the week ends, and
you just work it out with theteacher what was the work this
week?
And go through your child'shomework and to make sure it was
done, because, guarantee you,some of them are be like, yeah,
(14:06):
ain't nobody watching, so I'mjust going to stick it right
here and we're going to go onwith life.
But once you know ahead of timeand you're proactive of what
work is being given and what'srequired to be done, you can go
back and check that.
And I encourage you to do that,because now your child is not
(14:27):
gonna just blow it off.
They're not just gonna blow itout.
Well, mommy ain't looking, so,teacher, don't care, I'm just
not gonna do it.
But we're talking about theirfuture and that's how we have to
explain that to the kids.
This is your future we'retalking about.
So long story short.
Ladies, I hope that you foundvalue in today's episode of the
(14:51):
difference between a mother anda mom.
A mother provides basics.
A mom sacrifices.
I hope you all have a greatMother's Day.
I hope state that you are oneof the greatest moms ever.
Right, we're not perfect.
(15:11):
Why would we be perfect livingin an imperfect world?
But the good news is how doyour child or your children see
you?
Are you being a positiveexample in front of them?
That's what makes a great mom,take care, ladies.
I hope to talk with you soon.
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