Forgiveness Lessons for Moms and Kids

Send us a text

https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/

As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Hey ladies, welcome to the Mom to Mentor podcast,
where this podcast is designedto encourage, motivate, and most
of all, educate you when itcomes to parenting.
No, it's not a one-size fitsall, but hopefully you'll be
able to extract some of thedialogue that I'm going to share

(00:25):
with you regarding parenting andapply it to your life and your
parenting skills.
And I promise you you won't bedisappointed because anytime
you're able to teach your child,you've already won.
And especially if it's somethingpositive.
Let me add that to it becausethey do learn and it's not

(00:47):
always positive.
But when you're teaching yourchild something and they learn
it and it's positive, you are awinner.
What am I talking about today?
The topic is about forgivenessand forgiving through life, and
you may already know this, mom.
I'm sure you do, because we allexperience it where we've been

(01:10):
hurt by someone, and as a resultof that hurt, it hangs around
with us.
Because it's an emotional hurt,it's hard to forgive.
Even when they come back andsay, Will you forgive me,
please?
Depending on what they did, it'skind of hard to immediately say,

(01:34):
Yeah, because once you go thatroute of the hurt, you know,
that's something that's gonnastay with you.
And it's hard to let go becauseespecially that emotional hurt,
there is no band-aid, noantiseptic, or anything you can
do to heal that.

(01:56):
And so we have a tendency tocarry that unforgiving attitude,
and we grasp that that we carrythat pain with us.
And so today I want to just talkabout forgiving and how to talk
to your children about it andwhy they should do it.

(02:17):
Yeah, why you should do it, mom.

SPEAKER_00 (02:20):
So let's get the party started.

SPEAKER_01 (02:22):
So, first of all, what is it and why do we need to
do it?
So, forgiving is the ability torelease feelings of resentment
or vengeance towards a person orgroup who has harmed you
mentally and physically,regardless of whether they

(02:42):
actually deserve yourforgiveness.
Yeah.
Basically, in layman's term, letit go.
Yeah, that's what forgivenessis.
Let it go.
Just bringing it down to eyelevel.
It's about just letting it go.
Whatever that person or personsdid to you, you can continue to

(03:05):
say, I'm gonna hold this grudgeforever.
But what is that gonna do butstunt your growth?
And you're trying to move on.
Even with your child's father,if he didn't live up to his
commitment to you and the child,but you have to learn how to
forgive.
Now, forgive does forgivenessdoes not mean you allow him back

(03:29):
in your life, but it allows youto let it go and move on.
It happened, you acknowledgedit.
Now I'm moving on.
Okay.
So, again, in life, you'vealready encountered
disappointment, you've alreadyencountered some type of
emotional hurt from somebody.

(03:52):
You're carrying this unnecessaryweight around on you because you
won't let it go.
It's something that's not gonnahappen overnight, depending on
the depth of the hurt that hasbeen inflicted on you.
It is going to take time, andI'm not even gonna put a time

(04:13):
frame around it.
At some point, mom, you're goingto have to let it go.
And that's how you educate yourchild.
Yep, your dad hurt you.
He didn't show up for this, orhe didn't show up for that.
And even you, mom, maybe you'vehurt your child emotionally.

(04:33):
Maybe they expected somethingfrom you and you weren't able to
deliver.
You'll need to ask your childfor forgiveness that you didn't
deliver on something that youthought you were able to meet
that obligation and you weren't.
That's where you can start withthe practice of this is what

(04:56):
forgiveness looks like.
This is what it sounds like.
And so, in order to forgive orstatement would, I'm sorry I
wasn't there for you.
I'm sorry I didn't properlyprotect you.
These are word choices you wantto use as you're engaging with
your child.
Why is that important?

(05:17):
Because they should be able tomimic those same word choices
that you share with them whenthey hurt somebody.
Yeah, because they're gonna haveto not only accept forgiveness
or to let it go, but they'regonna have to practice making
the statement of please forgiveme for what I've done.

(05:40):
Because it's gonna happen a lotthroughout life.
And the hurt is real, it goesstraight to the heart, depending
on who it is.
Rejection is not fun as a resultof that hurt.
They're carrying it around.
You're carrying it around, andit's time to let it go.

(06:00):
Even with my kid's father, thelatter part of the relationship,
he wasn't there for them.
I said, Well, I get you weren'tthere physically for them, but
they should be able to call youand have conversations with you.
And so for a long time, Icarried some resentment that
hurt it was okay that we didn'tmake it, but now I'm thinking

(06:22):
about the kids.
They need that support structurefrom a male figure and not just
a female, because it took two tomake the children.
So it should take two to supportthem mentally, emotionally.
But as I've grown and matured, Ilet it go.

(06:42):
I said, My kids are grown now.
Now you all handle it howeveryou want to deal with it.
You're capable of addressingthis issue on your own.
I trust you to do that.
And I'm not gonna stand in yourway, whatever you decide.
But forgiveness, mom, you haveto teach that.
And again, the best way to teachit is you starting with your

(07:06):
child and asking them forforgiveness for something you
may have done and you may noteven realize it.
If your child is eight andabove, you can sit down and have
that conversation with them.
Or let them see you illustrateit.
That's the best method ofteaching your children.

(07:29):
Because again, we can talk untilwe're blue in the face, but the
reality is we are visual, wegotta see it, we gotta touch it,
we gotta feel it in order for itto be impactful.
So let them see you actuallyasking for forgiveness or

(07:51):
demonstrating that behavior ofwhat it means to let it go.
All right.
Another way to cultivate thisbehavior is acknowledge the
offense and why it was anoffense.
Why did it hurt so much?
So you definitely want to bespecific when you're asking for

(08:14):
forgiveness and just make surethat you both agree on what the
offense is, right?
Because you may think one thingand they may think something
else.
So make sure you agree on that.
Because sometimes we try to buryit internally only for it to put
us in an emotional chokeholdthat leads to stunning our

(08:38):
growth because we're carryingthis baggage, this center block
of this betrayal or thisresentment.
When someone hurts us, yeah, thefirst thing in mind, we do want
to go back and be vengefulagainst that person or to react
or respond.
We don't have to.

(08:59):
And because you forgive someonedoesn't mean you have to let
them back into your life, youcan let it go personally and
move on and not think about it.
Yes, it was hurtful, yes, it waspainful, but you don't have to
carry it with you forever.

(09:22):
If someone has wronged you, letit go.
Yeah, also known as forgiving.
All right, ladies, if youenjoyed this episode, tell
another single mom.
Maybe there's some dads outthere that can also benefit from

(09:45):
this episode.
I started this podcast focusingon young single moms, but we're
all human.
And if we're parents, maybeyou're married either way,
you're still a parent, and thisis applicable to you.
It is because these are actualbehaviors you're going to

(10:08):
encounter throughout life.
And just because some folks comefrom a two-parent household and
some come from a single-parenthousehold doesn't mean this is
not applicable.
So I would encourage you, if youappreciate or found value in
this episode, tell anotherparent that there's some good

(10:29):
stuff happening on the Mom toMentor podcast.
And if you enjoyed this episode,leave me some feedback.
Yes, ma'am, yes, sir.
You can go to my YouTube pageand leave me some feedback
there, or you can go tosinglemsunited podcast.com and
leave me some feedback there.
And again, I am in the processof transitioning over everything

(10:56):
to mom to mentor.
That's mom number two mentor.
In the very near future, I havesome exciting news coming up
related to that.
So all of my faithful listenersget in position for some good
news and some exciting changescoming to this podcast and to my

(11:20):
website.
So have a great day, a wonderfulweek, and a marvelous month.
Take care.