From Mom to Mentor: Teaching Kids to Handle Disappointment with Grace

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We explore disappointment as a skill, not a fate, and share a simple four-step framework—Acknowledge, Accept, Appreciate, Adjust—to help moms teach resilience at home. Through sports and relationship examples, we model how to process loss without shame and turn it into growth.

• redefining disappointment as failed expectations 
• why kids need clear language for hard feelings 
• sports as a safe way to normalize losing 
• the Four A’s explained with real examples 
• appreciating setbacks as feedback for growth 
• modeling calm, honest responses at home 
• adjusting routines, boundaries, and standards 
• saving tears by preparing before the outcome 
• inviting creativity to tailor the framework

You can go to my YouTube page, Mom to Mentor 
You can go to Singamom's United Podcast.com and leave me some feedback there 
If you go to SingamomsUnited Podcast.com, you can fill out the form there

https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/

As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey ladies and maybe some gentlemen.
Welcome to the Mom to Mentorpodcast, where this podcast is a
reminder to you, Mom, that youare more than a nurturer and a
provider.
You are a mentor, meaning thatyou are setting the example for

(00:22):
your children and how theyshould conduct themselves in
society.
That's a strong task to take on,but you can do it.
How do I know?
I am a mom as well.
I'm a mom of two.
Yes, it's not gonna be easy, butyou'll get through it.
My kids are older.

(00:43):
It wasn't always perfectparenting we're talking about.
But we're talking about good andbad parenting.
When we're talking about being amentor, if you are a first-time
listener, well, if you are aweepy listener, thank you for
your loyalty.

(01:04):
I cannot express that enough.
As I started on this journeythree years ago, I was just
feeling around in the dark andtrying to bring encouragement to
single moms or moms in general.
When it comes to parenting, andhere I am three years later, and

(01:25):
I have folks that keep comingback.
And I didn't think that wasgonna happen, but thank you.
Alright, what am I talking abouttoday?
These past few weeks, I've beentalking about planting a
character garden and plantingcharacter seeds, dropping them
in and teaching you how tocultivate those seeds.

(01:47):
In other words, how do you feedthat seed for it to grow?
Today I'm doing something alittle different.
It's still something that shouldbe taught to our children, but
it's not really planting acharacter seed.
I'm stepping outside of the boxa little bit, but I think you'll
appreciate it because it hasvalue.

(02:11):
We always want to go down thatlane that has value because now
it's productive.
Today I'm talking aboutdisappointment.
What is it?
Disappointment is the result offailed expectations.
And why do we need to teach ortalk about disappointment?

(02:34):
Because it's going to happen.
And guess what?
It happens often.
And it's going to happenthroughout their entire life.
And so we got to prepare them.
We have to prepare you, right?
Because someone didn't teach youabout disappointment.

(02:56):
No one taught me aboutdisappointment.
I had to find out the hard way.
And it's not fun.
It jumps on your emotions.
And if you don't know how toprocess that, then that can take
you down a path of depression,anger, and many other negative
emotions as a result of notbeing able to accept

(03:21):
disappointment.
So along that line, I'm going togive you the formula for how to
deal with disappointment.
Yeah, so you're going to have towait and listen to me to the end
of this episode.
Sorry, but I'll try to be briefand to the point.

(03:41):
All right.
So really with disappointment,sometimes when disappointments
happen, we don't see the good inthat.
For example, a relationship.
Maybe your baby's father is nolonger in the picture and he's
not doing what he should bedoing as a father.
And so it didn't start out thatway.

(04:01):
But now you're feeling alone.
You're disappointed.
Now you're trying to figure outokay, where do I go now?
What's my next steps?
How do I deal with raising achild on my own?
But secondly, maybe he justwasn't the right one for you.

(04:22):
Y'all just got into the momentand whipped bambly boom.
Here comes little Johnny.
However, there may be anothergentleman out there, a true
gentleman that is going to valueyou and respect you for who you
are, and also accept your childon that perspective.

(04:47):
That's going to allow you toaccept that disappointment that
the relationship did not workout.
I promised you I would give youthe formula for accepting
disappointment.
And are you ready?
Here are four steps to considerwhen it comes to being

(05:10):
disappointed.
Again, you're going to have toteach this to your children
because they're going toencounter it and they're going
to encounter it often.
When do you discussdisappointment?
Right when it happens.
When you're delivering this toyour children, one example that

(05:30):
you can use is a sporting event.
You can say, hey, there's twoteams out there, and one is
expected to win and one is goingto lose.
So you have to embrace that.
Yeah, well, I want to win, butthere is a chance that we're
going to lose this game.
And that's how you share thatwith your children.

(05:54):
That somebody's not going towin.
You accept the loss becausesomebody's going to have to deal
with that.
So it shouldn't be an emotionalburden because now you're in
acceptance that somebody's goingto lose and somebody's going to
win.
That's how I would approach itinitially, depending on your

(06:16):
child's age.
This is real life.
Now you can take it outside ofthe sports mindset.
Back to the four stages, okay,to help you prepare for
disappointment.
Number one, you acknowledge it.

(06:40):
And it's going to happen often.
I'm older.
I cannot count the number ofdisappointments I've experienced
through my life.
It's a lot.
And I wish that I would haveknown back then would have

(07:00):
shared with me aboutdisappointment and the emotional
toll that it takes on you.
But that's neither here northere.
It's a new day, and we're movingforward.
And that's why I want to sharewith you what it means to be

(07:23):
disappointed and how to preparefor it.
Secondly, we want to accept it,a part of acknowledging it that
it's going to happen.
So when it happens, yeah, I knewit's going to be a day like
this.
Yeah, I knew this was going tohappen because disappointments

(07:43):
are a fact of life.
Going back to the sportsanalogy, somebody's going to win
and somebody's going to lose.
And remember, the definition isdisappointment is just failed
expectations.
You know, I think therelationship is going to last.
My kids aren't going tomisbehave.

(08:03):
They're going to be perfectchildren.
Wrong.
They're going to be exposed todifferent things in the world
that is going to cause them toadapt and adjust to feel like
they have to belong, which isnot aligned to what your

(08:26):
expectations are.
So you have to get prepared,mom, that your child may come
home and do stuff that isunacceptable.
You accept, you acknowledge it,right?
That this is going to happen.

(08:48):
Because guess what?
It's going to save you sometears.
Yeah.
It's going to save you sometears.
But you have to have a plan toaddress it.
But it's going to save you sometears.
Because when they come in, it'sthe exact opposite of what you
were hoping for.
And now you're going throughthis experience.

(09:10):
But now you're ready.
You are ready.
You are in position to catch thedisappointment ball.
And football and baseball, youhave there that are designed to
catch the ball, right?
They have gloves in preparationto catch the ball.
Disappointment is a ball.

(09:31):
So, ladies, go suit up, go getyour gloves.
It's coming.
And now, once you catch thedisappointment, what are you
going to do with it?
You appreciate it.
How do you appreciatedisappointment?
It's a learning opportunity.
I knew it was coming and Iaccepted.

(09:55):
What do I do with it now that Ihave the ball?
Hey, the ball came to me.
And now I learn from it.
Why didn't the relationshiplast?
What was it about him?
What's about me?
It's not always the otherperson.
You have to learn, right?

(10:16):
Why is your child displayingthese behaviors that they
weren't taught?
Why?
That's exactly it.
They weren't taught.
Why are they doing this versusthat?
Because they weren't taught.
So we need to learn toappreciate these

(10:37):
disappointments.
Because if you just acknowledgeit and accept it, it goes
nowhere until you appreciate it.
Because appreciate you should begoing to another level.
And if you have multiplechildren, okay, I learned it
with my oldest that I didn't dothis right.

(10:58):
Now I have another opportunity.
I have another chance to doright by my next child,
educating them on some thingsabout life's disappointments.
You take it, you embrace it, andsay, you know what?
I'm going to another level.
I've learned from thissituation.

(11:21):
I've learned from thisdisappointment.
And now I'm going to move on andthings are going to get better.
And guess what?
When that next disappointmentcomes, and it will, you're ready
for it.
Because you appreciate it,you've learned from it.
Now you're growing.
So I guess this does tie backinto planting a character seed,

(11:44):
right?
Because we're cultivating andreally appreciating is feeding
that seed or nurturing that seedso it can grow.
I'ma tell you what, it's goingto save some tears later,
ladies.
And if you do shed tears,they're not going to be as many
because you knew this wascoming.

(12:08):
All right.
Finally, and I think I justalluded to that, is we want to
adjust your approach goingforward, knowing that there's an
upgrade, there's somethingbetter.
We take this opportunity ofdisappointment, we capitalize on

(12:32):
it, understand why it's adisappointment, and then
understand where we want to goas a result of this
disappointment.
Have you heard a common themehere with these four different
opportunity areas?
They all start with A.
If you need a quick way toremember these opportunities,

(12:57):
just sing the four A's.
Acknowledge, accept, appreciate,and just.
All right, ladies.
I know I can be passionate attimes.

(13:18):
This is something that is reallyclose to my heart.
I feel we need to do a betterjob at.
And again, we are more than justmoms.
We are mentors.
We are teachers.
We have to set an example.

(13:38):
So your children should see youaccepting disappointment and how
you deal with disappointment.
Hopefully, these four areas,you'll start thinking about it.
And at least giving you thatopportunity of saying, I never

(13:58):
thought of it that way.
Let me sit down and really do adeeper dive.
And what you'll find out isyou'll start adding some
additional things to those fourareas of the acknowledge,
accept, appreciate, and adjustbecause you just have a creative

(14:19):
mindset like I do.
But we just got to get you tothinking about it.
It's not a one-size-fits-all,but it's to get us moving in the
right direction.
Hopefully, you're able to takesomething from them, not just
take it, but be able to build,right?
To make it your own, that itfits within your household, your

(14:45):
mindset.
You can go to my YouTube page,Mom to Mentor.
You can go to Singamom's UnitedPodcast.com and leave me some
feedback there.
I would love to hear from you.
I want to know if you do go thatnext step and educate your child

(15:06):
about disappointment.
I want to know what the resultis, what they said, what they
thought.
In the very near future, I amgoing to be having guests on my
show.
If you go to SingamomsUnitedPodcast.com, you can fill out
the form there.

(15:26):
All right, ladies, and maybesome gentlemen.
Thank you for joining today'sepisode.
I hope you enjoyed it, and Ihope you will take this to
another level in educating yourchild or your children about
disappointment and what itmeans.
Take care.