Episode Transcript
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Laura (00:00):
Your kids are learning
about money right now, not from
what you say, but from what youdo.
hello and welcome to money andcareer mastery from overwhelmed
to ownership.
I'm Laura Sexton, your abundanceand legacy coach here to help
you navigate the world of money,debt payoff, and career growth
(00:20):
with confidence and clarity.
In this podcast, we'll tacklethe financial and career
challenges, holding you back,optimize your income and build
the freedom that comes with trueownership.
If you're ready to break freefrom overwhelm, create a budget
that aligns with your values anddesign a legacy that empowers
future generations.
You're in the right place.
(00:43):
Hey, accelerators, thanks forcoming back to the Money Career
Mastery Podcast.
I am very excited to talk to youabout this today because if you
know anything at all about me,you know that what we pass on to
our children, our legacy is soincredibly important to me.
It's one of those things that Icould talk about over and over
again and again all day long.
(01:05):
So I wanna talk with you aboutour kids and how they mirror our
money behavior, or you couldeven call it a money language.
Now, sometimes it's great, wecan sit down and, and they're.
Doing the parts of money that weenjoy, we're seeing them do
things that we appreciate.
Our kids, when they get moneyfor their birthdays, they
(01:27):
immediately go put the moneyinto their piggy banks.
And on payday they run and theyput their money into their
banks.
And a lot of times they'll belike, can we count it?
Can we count it?
Can we count it?
And they love to count theirmoney.
Now they're not Scrooge McDuck,they're not counting it to hoard
it, they're counting it to seewhat kind of things they can
(01:48):
enjoy with their money.
One of my daughters is saving upto buy herself a guitar.
Now this girl has never played aguitar before.
We are not necessarily a musicalfamily, so I'm not exactly sure
where she has gotten this idea,but she's going to buy a guitar.
She's priced one out.
She's also priced out a guitarcase because if she has a
guitar, she needs a case tocarry it around.
(02:10):
And so we've talked about whatis this gonna look like?
What are the implications ofowning this musical instrument?
Like what are the multiplepieces and facets that go into
making a purchase like this?
There are other times where Ijust can't stand the behavior
(02:31):
that my children have, whereinstantaneously, they get their
money and they need to spend it.
There's just this burning holein their pocket.
They have to spend it, have tospend it, have to spend it, have
to spend it, and it gets reallyfrustrating for me.
There are moments where they'remirroring our money behavior and
I'm really proud of them.
And there are moments when theymirror our behavior and it's
(02:51):
frustrating, but they'rewatching us and they're doing
exactly what we would want themto do.
Your kids are watching you andthey're watching all the time.
Think of it like playing Followthe leader.
Whether you've got toddlers,teens, or grown kids, they're
always picking up financialhabits even when you're not
(03:14):
teaching it to them.
So what kind of legacy are youreveryday money habits leaving?
Is it shaping the story that youwant your kids to inherit?
If not, we need to make a changeright now.
And sometimes when our kids areolder and we're like, we've
broken them and we can never fixthem, they're watching you.
Change things in your life andthey will be paying attention to
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that.
I have one client who wastelling me that her grown son
came to her this week and waslike, mom, can you help me make
a budget?
She goes, he's seeing me.
He's seeing me do it.
And she's so proud of herself.
Every once in a while, she'lljust start crying because she's
so joyful about the moneychanges that we've made in our
work together.
But this time she came to mecrying because her son was
(03:58):
watching her and said, I wannado what mom's doing.
And that's just a really greatfeeling.
Now, what's not a really greatfeeling is when you hear
yourself come out of your kids'mouths and you're like, oh, I
could've done that one better.
Right?
You know what I'm talking about?
You've all heard your parentscome out of your mouth before on
accident.
Where I was even joking with mykids the other day and I was
(04:21):
like, I'll give you something tocry about.
I was like, oh, nope.
That's not, that's not what Imeant.
I don't even think my motherever actually said that to me.
I think I just heard that on TVenough times to be like, oh, is
that, is that a thing that wesay anyway?
Your legacy isn't just what youleave.
It's what you live.
It's not about having it alltogether, but about being
(04:42):
intentional.
Your legacy is going to happenon the grocery aisles, in your
Amazon cart, your Sunday.
Morning chores.
Your Saturday spending choices,your daily rhythm is going to be
so much bigger than your bigdramatic money talks.
(05:04):
You can sit down and explainthings to your kids and they're
not gonna get it, but you knowwhat they will get?
They will sit down and say, oh,mom pays the bills on Tuesday.
One of my daughters came up tome, he is like, mom, what are
you doing?
I said, oh, I'm balancing thecheckbook, which is not true.
I do not actually have acheckbook, but I was reconciling
my account and I was like, I'mjust, you know, going through
(05:26):
the numbers to see what we spentour money on.
And it, it's interesting becausethey're like, we spent that much
money.
They don't actually know howmuch money they spent, and
they're not really looking atthe numbers, but they see how
many transactions we've had.
We spend money that much.
Yeah, what I need to remember inthose moments is that money
(05:46):
mindset is contagious.
The kids are going to absorb mystress, my scarcity, my shame,
or they're gonna absorb my peaceand my purpose and my patience.
I get to decide.
I get to decide what I'm goingto show them.
Now, sometimes that can befeeling stress underneath, but
(06:08):
as long as I give a posture ofpeace, that's what they're gonna
come away with.
But it's also in the everydaylanguage that we use.
So I have been guilty of beinglike, oh, we can't afford that.
But I know that's not true and.
Instead of using just an easyanswer of we can't afford that.
(06:29):
I've shifted what, how I speakto them and I say things like,
that's not part of the planright now.
Or We've spent our money in thatbudget category for this month,
maybe next month.
Or maybe we can fit that in thebudget next month, but we don't
have it in the budget thismonth.
Now you may be like, Lord,that's crazy.
Why would I say that to my8-year-old?
I say that to my 8-year-old andmy 6-year-old and my 4-year-old,
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and now when one of them wantsto buy something, I say, oh, not
right now.
And they're like, but I want it.
The bigger ones will go, well,that's not in the budget right
now.
They're getting it and it's nota put down, it's not scarcity.
It's not.
It's not negative.
They're just very matter offactly being like, well, we
(07:12):
don't have that in the budgetright now, so we'll have to come
back.
I want you to narrate yourstrategy, okay?
Don't narrate your fear.
Put your fear away.
We can't afford that.
That's not true.
If your kids are like, we wannabuy this toy in the toy aisle,
whatever the toy is, and it's$25, and you go, oh, we can't
afford that right now.
That's not true.
(07:33):
You have$25.
You're just choosing to spend iton something else.
Now, maybe you're choosing tospend it on debt payments
because you're trying to getyourself out of debt and you're
trying to pay for past mistakesor past decisions that you've
made.
But a lot of times we would justrather spend that on Netflix.
We'd rather spend that on goingout to eat, and we don't
necessarily wanna buy anothertoy.
(07:54):
It's okay to narrate what yourstrategy is, we don't wanna keep
it under wraps.
We wanna say things out loud toour children.
No, we don't wanna scare them.
We don't wanna be like, oh, wellwe're not gonna have money to
buy food if we buy that.
Like that's, that's not ourintention.
But we do want to give themclear, concise, purposeful
(08:16):
strategy that we are doing withour money.
And the reason is because theyare picking up everything we are
putting out.
I think it's very important totalk through your decisions with
your children.
When I wanted to take horsebacklessons as a child, my mom would
say to me, welcome, sit downwith me while we make a budget,
and if you can find the room inthe budget, you can go.
(08:39):
I would've very easily given upelectricity or water because I
didn't have.
The emotional readiness toactually look through that, but
I can talk through my decisionswith my kids.
So my daughter came to me andsaid, I really want to play the
violin and school will teach us,but I have to rent a violin.
(09:01):
Now, thankfully the violin isone of the cheaper options of
all of the instruments on thepage, but boy is it gonna be one
of the loudest and mostdifficult because if you hit it,
just the slightest bit wrong,that is scratchy and instead of
musical, a violin is verydifficult to play and I know
that.
So my husband and I have todecide how we're going to have.
(09:24):
The conversation with her aboutwhether or not we're going to do
this.
Now we can say, sure, you can doit, but you're gonna have to
give up and we'll have to giveher some options of things that
she'll have to give up in orderfor us to pay for this monthly
rental and monthly lessons forthe violin.
I'm not buying a violin for achild that may or may not decide
(09:44):
to play it in the future.
But I like to invite them in,and so I want to encourage you
to do the same, invite them intoa mini planning session.
Things like budgeting for abirthday party.
That's a great way to get themin, get them started.
I, as a Girl Scout was in chargeof planning out, parties.
The end of the year party or ourbig trips that we would go on.
(10:08):
We would have to sit down andbudget them.
How much is it gonna cost forgas?
How much is it gonna cost for ahotel stay?
These are things that we canhave our children do where it's
not every day is this, but it isa way to get them involved and
it's super fun to see them lightup and get excited.
Things like that where we cantogether decide how much are we
(10:28):
gonna give away, how much are wegonna save this month?
How much are you planning onspending, like having these
activities together so you'renot just having them figure it
out on their own.
But I also think it's importantto let them see you delay your
own gratification.
Let them see you say not rightnow for you, not just for them.
(10:51):
Let them witness you practicinggenerosity in real time.
I love taking cash torestaurants and then letting my
kids tip the waitress or thewaiter.
This is one of those momentswhere they get to hold on in
real time to what money canactually do.
Legacy doesn't mean we neverspend our money, legacy does
(11:13):
mean that we spend it where itmatters.
Generosity is a place where itmatters, and I want them to be a
part of it.
I'd like to see modeling, yes togiving.
I want them to see me saying yesto investing.
I want them to see me saying yesto family experiences, and I
also want them to see me sayingyes to rest.
(11:33):
Ooh, I got a nap today.
I'm feeling really good.
Let them see what matters mostbased on how you actually use
your money.
Okay.
Don't let them see money assomething that you just fritter
away, but something that is animportant tool for them to use
in their future.
So this week, watch for onemoment where your child echoes
(11:55):
your money behavior.
I bet you'll see it.
Go ahead and narrate one moneychoice out loud, even something
small, and write down threemoney values that you want to
pass on.
And then ask yourself, am Imodeling these right now?
Again, your children are playingFollow the leader.
What do you want them to follow?
(12:15):
You get to decide that.
You get to decide withintention, how you want your
children to behave with money.
They're picking it up from you,mom and dad.
They're picking it up from you.
If you're ready to reset yourmindset and model something new,
come over to the Facebook groupand join us.
We are going to in the month ofOctober, have a seven day money
(12:39):
mindset shift challenge, andit's all about aligning how you
think about money with thelegacy that you wanna build.
The link is going to be down inthe show notes.
I will see you inside of theLegacy Builders community.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday, accelerators.
Be sure to go out and make adifference.
(13:00):
thank you for spending time withus today on Money and Career
Mastery from Overwhelm toOwnership.
Remember, your legacy isn't justabout financial freedom.
It's about living with purpose,taking action, and building a
foundation that lasts forgenerations.
Don't just listen, implementwhat you've learned and share it
with someone who could use afinancial or career
breakthrough.
(13:20):
If you found value in today'sepisode, help us grow by rating,
reviewing, and sharing thepodcast.
I'll be back next week with morestrategies to help you master
your money and career.
Until then take ownership ofyour future and build your
legacy with intention.