May 8, 2025 • 54 mins
Let's continue part two of Official's story:
Official never expected a simple Facebook post to change her life. What started as a friendship with a man she believed only had a short time left in his bid turned into something much deeper. But a shocking discovery made her question everything she thought she knew: he wasn't locked up for robbery and he didn't only have a few years left...
Through her own research, Official found the evidence of his innocence, but freedom remained just out of reach. As his release day approached, tensions grew and trust wavered, setting the stage for a rocky reunion and further disappointment as his days free increased and the test of their love grew more and more difficult to pass.
In part one of Official's story, hear her open up about love, betrayal, and fighting for what she loved where very few would.
Find Official on TikTok @official_knourworth
Please follow the show to help us grow!
Follow us on TikTok @morethananinmatesgf or Insta @podcast_prisongf
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When he walked away, it was likehe was going to walk into them
and I would never see him again.And that's exactly what it was,
and I never seen him again. Welcome to More Than a Inmate's
Girlfriend. I'm your host Jay and today we
are ending the series on betrayal with Part 2 and the
(00:23):
finale of Official Story. So if you have not listened to
Official Story yet, her Part 1 it did drop last week.
Please stop this episode, go back, listen to Part 1 because
it is insane what she went through and you will have no
idea if you haven't listened thefirst part, what's happening
now. So we're continuing on with the
(00:45):
story after he's come home and how it kind of went downhill
from there and what ended up happening.
But then after that, we will be breaking and not bringing up any
type of stories like these for the rest of the season.
I think we might do kind of thisseries every year, throw in a
few. But really the idea of this
podcast is to emphasize the humanity behind bars and and
(01:11):
that we're not our worst mistakeand there are healthy and happy
relationships that are possible in these scenarios and that
people are, again, so much more than their mistake.
So we really do want to bring that focus on to that.
So yeah, we'll continue on with that next week.
We do have some interesting weeks ahead.
It's crazy because there's so many episodes that we have
(01:32):
recorded and AJ and I are like, we're so excited.
But then we interview new peopleand we meet new people and we're
like, we want to interview and release your episode.
And it's it's like crazy, you guys.
We just love and appreciate so much how many people are coming
forward and how many people alsothat we're reaching out to are
accepting the opportunity to letus talk to them.
So yeah, AJ and I are just really super excited about where
(01:56):
this is going and what's happening and the pickup of it.
And I mean, we're just celebrating.
We're not even at the six month mark of this podcast and I think
this is episode 19. Like it's crazy.
And we have so many that are already recorded that we're
releasing in the next couple of weeks.
So yeah, lots of good stuff ahead.
And like we say every episode, please continue to support us.
(02:19):
And in order to do that, all we need for you to do is just hit
that follow button. Listen to the episodes if you
enjoy them, comment on them if you have any feedback.
And if you are on social media, we would love for you to follow
us. We would love for you to reach
out. There was someone recently that
reached out again and I hadn't spoken to her in month and she
(02:41):
reached out again to say hi and check in.
And it was just so nice because sometimes conversations get lost
and we lose touch with people. And then to hear people come
back and check in on us individually, like it's, it's
just really neat. It's really cool.
And especially she's across the pond.
So that's fun too. But yeah, so please follow us on
social media at podcast under score prison GF is the
(03:01):
Instagram, the TikTok is at morethan an inmates GF.
Follow us on their comment. Like just share, just share.
That's all we ask is just share the podcast and what it is and
what we're trying to do. Just share with your loved ones
so that we can expand and grow and ideally move into more than
(03:23):
just our community because we want to bring in people that
have no idea because you don't know until you know.
And then once you know what the criminal justice system is like,
once you know the stories behindpeople, you can't unknown it.
And you know, true crime is so popular and there's a million
reasons why. I don't know any of them, but it
(03:45):
is so popular. And you know, I was talking to
Nick yesterday about it. It's so popular.
And it's really usually from like the victim sides, which is
very important and the story andwhat not in the news and all
this. But what we're doing is taking
that away and then going to the person that committed it or the
person that is allegedly the onethat committed it and talking to
(04:06):
their loved ones. We're talking to them sometimes
and learning about who they are as a person and how they're not
their worst mistake. I think the angle that we take
can really hopefully our hope isthat it broadens people's minds,
maybe opens it up to the fact that we're all human, that
sometimes we make mistakes, thatour past brought us to certain
(04:30):
places that may have been horrible or the person's
innocent or whatever. But either way, I think it's
important for us to showcase that there is another side to
all of it, and that's exactly what we're trying to do.
So with that, I'm kind of a little sad, but I will say
goodbye betrayal series until next year and I will leave you
(04:52):
to listen to the last part of official story and she will drop
her handle and all the information.
It will also be in the show notes if you want to follow her
and see where she's at right now.
So with that, I will let you go on with the show.
Enjoy. And then you said the fights, so
(05:14):
the fights started within two days.
Yeah, it started that second day, that night, and then it
just kept going. The main fights were always his
phone. It was always his phone was
always going off text messages, group chats.
And it was just like, bruh, really?
I live further. I get it.
I'm not trying to be too selfishat the same time, because I also
understand they want time with him too.
(05:35):
But I'm like, damn, you're goingto see them every single day and
you're not going to see me everyday because I don't live as
close. But me knowing who I am, I know
that I would always try to make it happen to see him all the
time, but it was the phone that started a lot of problems.
Did you think he was talking to other women?
No, not at the time, just because he just got out.
(05:56):
So who had that number yet? But then again, I was one of the
first to ever get his number. I had his number before he had
his number. He had a phone.
Before he got out, they had already had his number.
And the moment I told him that he had a number, he was still
incarcerated and he hung up the phone, call me right back.
And now that I look back, he could have, when I gave it to
(06:17):
him at that time, he could have gave it to some people that I
don't know about. Because come to find out, when
he was incarcerated, about a year or two before he got out,
he had an Instagram I had no idea about and seeing it on my
suggested friends. I was like, what?
So he could have seen a couple people that I really to this
day, I can't tell you if he did or not, but he did have that
number ahead of time before he came home.
(06:39):
He would show me his phone all the time.
I would see who he would call, who would calling, who he would
call, who was texting, who he was texting.
So there was really no doubt toomuch as far as that in the
beginning, in the beginning. Let me make that clear.
So yeah, like I didn't really have doubt in the beginning of
him having a foam. And there was a lot of roller
(06:59):
coaster moments, but was there any moments after where things
got better? I want to say yes or no.
I want to say I can remember more bad than I could remember
the good. I felt like the only good moment
was when I took him to the Half Moon Bay.
That was a good moment. I took him to the beach and he
stood on top of the hill and he was like, I'm free.
(07:21):
He felt the breeze in the ocean,heard the ocean, felt it.
So that was a very great moment to experience with him.
I'm not going to lie, I think I probably even got choked up that
day. From there, we went to San
Francisco. I took him to a Puerto Rican
restaurant to take Puerto Rican food.
I'm Puerto Rican and he had never ate Puerto Rican food.
So we went. He enjoyed it.
(07:41):
That was an awful good moment. But at the same time, little
things that triggered some of those good moments to where like
he wouldn't be a smart ass or sarcastic or certain things.
And like I said, I tried to makegood moments.
I don't like fighting, I don't like arguing.
I tried to avoid that and so didhe.
That's what's weird to me is that was one of our roles is
(08:03):
we'll always talk it out, not yell it out.
And he switched up on it. But I still try to be calm and
patient and deal with it and tryto understand like, OK, he's new
home, he's new home, he don't know nothing, you don't know
nothing. Very few good moments.
I felt like a bad moment took over.
Did those moments that you did have that were good, did you
feel like he was genuine, like he wanted to be there?
(08:23):
I did OK. I did.
I did. And did he plan moments to see
you? No.
If it wasn't me planning, I didn't know when I would see
him. If it wasn't me asking can we go
on a date, which I don't feel like I shouldn't have to ask.
I didn't know when I would see him because everything was I
don't know. I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know who's coming. I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know I'm going to be late.
Everything was, I don't know. So you just felt like you were
(08:45):
less and less of a priority. Definitely when it came to
family functions, I was never invited.
Family parties, I was never invited.
Barbecues. I was never about anything
family, anything where you know your brother is going to have
his girl or you're like the family thing.
I'm thinking I'm part of the family right after all these
years. And obviously I was like the I
(09:07):
was like the outsider. I was never invited.
He never asked me anything. And I did bring it up to him
like, hey, like I would love to come.
I'm a family oriented person, a big time family oriented person,
and I would love to be there. And he was like, I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know. I got to find out.
I don't know the details, but itwas always an excuse.
And no, I never went to know family function but I did see
pictures and Snapchats and stuffat that time.
(09:29):
And what was your reaction? What did you do as you're
feeling him drift away? What can I do?
What can I do? I felt it's the more I pressured
it the more he just becomes mad.The more I asked him the more he
gets an irritated. So what can I do?
I couldn't force him. No I'm going to be there.
Send me the address now. I couldn't do that, so there was
nothing I could do besides sit here in my room and just think I
(09:52):
do to deserve this. Yeah, and what was the final
straw? What happened in the last
moment? You guys broke.
Up it was a lot of arguing. He got home in August and I
promised by the end of September, October it was
already going bad and I noticed little things.
I went from being able to look into his phone, sing his phone
(10:13):
to him, him pulling it to the side and covering it.
He changed his passcode, I couldn't get into it and his
phone went off late at night while I'm there with him.
He asking like it's midnight, I'm here It's not me.
Who is it? So don't worry about it.
It's my brother-in-law. And what was really strange was
his sister-in-law was always texting him, oh, this is what I
(10:34):
ate. Look what I ate.
Oh, this tastes good You got to try this.
So their relationship to me got really weird because it was just
like bro, yeah, you're also learning who he was as well
coming home because the brother got with her.
He knew of her, but he didn't myaccident really know her and
they were like texting each other a lot.
Oh look, she sent me this food plate, man, it looks good.
And that was always an argument Us being on dates was always
(10:56):
argument. It was bad.
And this is when I started opening up to people, find
people. This is when I start telling my
sister and my mom. And of course they're like, I
didn't want to tell you. I told you.
But I did tell you. And I started changing.
I can feel myself changing. I can feel myself going through
the depression. I can feel myself going through
(11:16):
the herd. I looked into the mirror and I
just knew I wasn't myself anymore.
But again, I loved them. Yeah.
What I love. And that was hard.
I love. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I love them. And I just kept fighting.
And when he was in prison, we always would do fast things
together. We put, we would fast from
certain things and we would always put God in the middle.
(11:37):
And I would remind them of thosethings.
And it didn't matter to him at the time anymore.
So I always told him, like, dude, we're a power couple, what
are we doing? If we dugged it out in all these
years, I know we can thug it outhere.
We ain't nothing come out and stop us out here.
But no, like, a lot did stop. One time I told him, I wish he's
still in prison. Wow.
(11:59):
And I told him that because of who he had became when he came
home, I said I wish you were still in prison because who you
are today I do not know. And he didn't say so, but it
really didn't. And I said that I was crying and
hurt that day because we got into it.
It was first the end already of us.
I knew it was. Let me make this clear, too.
I'm not a real materialistic person.
(12:21):
Yeah, my shoes might be certain things, but I really am grateful
if it comes from the dollar store or Walmart and like that.
Right. But he never bought me stuff.
When he came home, he had a job.About a month later, he had a
car already paid off. And he never bought me nothing.
I always bought him something. I always gave him a gift.
I always thought of him when I went to the store.
(12:41):
Oh, didn't you say you need to? OK, I got you.
That's who I am. I'm still like that.
My heart in that area had never changed.
But he never did. Like when he bought me a dessert
bowl, it was because he had a coupon.
It wasn't because it was full. Christ, it was a coupon.
I was thankful and grateful. But damn, boy, I still pay full
price for you. Like.
So it was just a lot of things that started to occur.
(13:03):
Yeah. But what really took the stroll
for me was when I got home from work and I text him and I said,
hi, babe, how you doing? I just got home.
I hope you ate. One thing about me is the people
I care about, I'm gonna make sure if they ate, I'm gonna
always ask. And I was blocked.
What? I was blocked and I thought I
was tripping and. But like, all of a sudden I
(13:26):
knew. Yeah, just out of nowhere, I was
blocked. That's not my phone service got
cut or something. I was tripping.
I was really like, no, the no, no, no, nothing day.
No, no, Gina, no. But I was blocked and I let it
be for that quick moment. I had to soak it in because like
(13:47):
prior to that, I had plans. There was plans I had.
I wanted him to see things he did not see because he was
obviously incarcerated. So prior to all of that, let me
say this real quick before I getinto that.
Yeah, I took him to the Oakland A's Coliseum.
Seeing the A's sat in the very front.
That was a good moment. I took him to the San Francisco
(14:08):
49ers stadium. He wanted to see the Niners.
He's a Niner fan. That was that was that moment.
Oh, man, I can't even say it wasgood because that day, that
morning, I should say the night before he went out.
And you know what's so crazy is that the city he went out to was
the city I live in today. And he couldn't even never come
and see me, but he sure came to a Christmas party.
(14:30):
Wow. And and I ain't gonna lie, I
made something up when he was atthe party.
I made it up as if I was scared or something to be in the room,
in the hotel room so he can callme because I had he's he's out.
He's like it has been hour like maybe more than 8 hours since I
had heard from him or something.So I'm like damn.
Like he really don't care. I'm alone, I'm in the city, I'm
by myself I'm in a hotel like I'm going to make something up
(14:52):
and I did, I did and he called me and you'll be good.
I'm like yes I'm doing damn are you good?
Hi, hello type of thing. I'm good.
I can't hear you much the music.I gotta go.
And I know I was in the lingerieaccess.
I was expecting for him to come back early, send him some
pictures of me in the lingerie, and I got a thumbs up as a text
(15:13):
response back on. Not even at least you look
pretty. Nothing, just a thumbs up.
Our text messages went from conversation to me talking to
myself pretty much because all of his responses were emojis and
they weren't emojis where they're like lovable emojis,
their emojis like you're irritating the hell out of me.
(15:34):
Leave me alone emojis. And that's how it had been for a
month or two. It was just emoji after emoji or
what the how do you want or I'm busy.
And one day I picked up that phone when I got home from work
and I called them and I was already crying because I just, I
couldn't take it no more. And I called them and I said, I
(15:55):
just want to know one question. And he said, what do you want?
I'm at work, Hurry up. His attitude towards me
definitely changed. He became aggressive, like I
said, in real mean. And I said, are you in love with
me? And he said no and hung up on
me. Oh.
My gosh. I dropped my phone.
I I don't know if I cleaned my ears that morning or what, but I
thought I was tripping that moment.
(16:16):
I hugged my pillow and I cried myself and I took a nap.
Woke up with the most headache, dry eyes.
But I was hurt. But that still did not stop me.
I heard I'm clear. But I was in so much denial.
Yeah. I was naive to the situation
because again, this is someone Ifought, waited for, loved.
And I just was like, no. Like we got plans and promises.
(16:38):
No. And I still took them to a 49er
game after the fact of him saying that, yes, I know I'm
dumb. Yes, I was dumb at that moment
for it. I was, my family was trying to
encourage me to take other people and take this person.
That person. Oh, they like, no, I'm not.
I'm taking him. I bought the tickets for him.
I told him and I'm taking him. I got him his jersey.
(17:00):
I got him his favorite jersey player and I got him that whole
thing he I wore that day, got him.
And that day of the game I put back that lingerie.
I knew he was coming to my hotels.
I put it back on, got my makeup ready, got it on.
He walked in that door like I was just a hole in the wall,
like I was a nobody. As I hold the door open, he
walks in and he just throws himself on the bed and I'm like
(17:22):
hi, hi. No hugs, not even a half a hug,
not even a fake hug, nothing, nothing.
I was nobody. And it had been a while since we
obviously I got it in and I wanted to get some.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you guys I did not.
I did. And he looked at me and he said
do not catch Billings. What?
I said do not catch feelings. He said no.
(17:44):
And I said, boy, it's too late. I've been having feelings for
over 10 years. How you going to tell me not to
catch feelings for somebody I already got feelings for?
Are you crazy? How dumb do you sound?
But how dumb do I also look for?Still doing that.
And I did thing and he just laidthere and that was it.
If you want round two, you got to get me up.
I'm not doing all that. Then it's good.
(18:05):
I don't need it. So we go and eat.
We go to the game. And at this time, he's already
texting someone else that I had no idea, but I just could feel
it. Yeah, I felt it.
Yeah. And his phone again, going
crazy. He's smiling at the phone.
How long next to you are you smiling?
Gosh. And we were in the game and
there was a song that came on. It was in in the Bay Area.
We say the word hypey, which means dance to the music.
(18:27):
Get hyper get with the program type of thing, get with the beat
and I like touched his arm. I didn't pinch him.
I didn't do none of that. I just touched his arm.
Come on, BAE like dance and he like yelled at me in front of
the people that were around. Don't pinch me.
I said I never pinched you. I just like telling you let's
dance like dance. I think he would have enjoyed it
more if he went with whoever he was texting instead of me,
(18:49):
because you look at the pictureson my TikTok.
He looked mad as hell and those pictures like his looks can kill
IB date already. And after the game I wanted to
go eat. We didn't eat the whole game
because it's expensive in there and I wanted to eat.
But he ended up coming up with some plans and he had a shop and
do all this stuff. But I know he was talking to
someone and making plans. I just knew it.
I know it got to his house and that's when he started telling
(19:11):
me like let's try to be friends.And I'm like no, there's no way
we could be friends dude. We built something already but
it was just crazy to me how quick just end and not me.
I wasn't. So I fought and I fought.
My parents are 49 years married and I never seen them give up on
each other and I wasn't going togive up on him either.
And I kept going and fighting and I didn't get nowhere.
(19:33):
We went on our last date and this is really where it goes.
We went on our last date. I paid because I paid for
everything damn near anyway. Hey, I did.
And again, on the phone, hiding the phone, putting it to one
side of the table. I'm trying to take selfies,
making memories. He didn't want selfies, he
didn't want a picture, he didn'twant this.
And that argued with me about it, but he ended up on one of
(19:57):
the pictures anyway. Don't post the type of thing.
Whatever. Go.
I'm gonna do what I do. I'm gonna do what I want.
And we eat, we leave, we go to one of his favorite place.
It's like a healthy place because he's fit and stuff now.
So it's a healthy place to go some certain spots.
And he tells me, oh, remember, Itook my niece to to dinner last
(20:17):
night. Yeah.
How did that go? He shows me a picture of her.
And this is where it goes by. He shows me a picture of her and
he's learning his phone. So he didn't know that he can
cross exit out the gallery on the bottom of the pictures.
OK, I had blonde highlights. I did to see him in the
pictures. If you look on my TikTok, I did.
But this girl was full on blonde.
(20:39):
I click on it and I said who is this?
His eyes opened, his mouth dropped, his face dropped and he
looked at me and my adrenaline at that moment.
Girl, when I saw you it was like2000.
It was moving. I went outside, took you there,
came back in and he's still standing there like stuck.
I said who is she? First answer comes out of his
mouth. It's a family friend, a family
(21:00):
friend. I've never seen her in any of
your family friend functions or family anything family.
So we're walking through the carafter we get our food.
He didn't pay for price. He gave me discount, he got me a
coupon. We gave him the car.
We sit down, he's grubbing like he grubbing on this dessert.
He grubbing like nothing has just happened.
It didn't even say them. I put my bowl down and I'm
(21:24):
crying looking out the window onthe passenger's seat as he was
in my driver's seat and I was crying.
I was crying and I was crying like somebody died.
And he said, so you're not goingto eat your bowl.
This is what you're going to do,Just cry.
He had no remorse. He did not care.
And I said, what do you like? I just slipped on him.
I crashed out. What do you asking me that?
I'm just going to eat a bowl. I just caught you with the
(21:46):
female on your phone. Who is this female?
She is my family friend and I'm allowed to have pictures of the
female. I said, are you because you're
in a committed, engaged relationship.
I said look at my phone and you will not see no man for what?
I don't think it's nothing wrong.
Oh no, it's something wrong. So we left.
We finished his bowl. We left the whole way home.
(22:06):
I looked at him. I said, do these females know
you're engaged? Yeah.
And he said yes. And I said, Are you sure that
you're telling them? Because, honey, it don't look
like it. It don't seem like it.
Why are you even? Why are you engaging with them?
Why are you saving pictures likeI'm yelling though?
And he said it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, Vanessa.
(22:27):
No, it does matter. I tell him and I'm crying and he
said I will pull over this car and I will catch an Uber if I
have to. And I said do what you got to
do. And he didn't though.
He kept driving. And I told him, how can you do
this to me? I howled it down for you.
I supported you. I was there with you.
I did this and I did that. And and his answer was so you're
(22:49):
throwing it in my face. But you did.
I said, I'm not throwing it in your face.
I'm telling you what I did. I'm telling you the truth.
And I'm telling you that you will never find a woman to do
the things that I have done for you.
And I said, but you know what? I got you.
And he goes, there you go throwing it in my face, huh?
Throw. You think I don't know what you
did for me? I said, no, you don't because
(23:10):
look what your actions are rightnow.
We get to his mom's house. I'm outside and yes, I'm crying
still. And it was a big thing in the
front yard. And you know when he kept
telling me, are you done? I gotta go.
He does. I gotta go.
And I'm like, what? Like in my head I'm like, what?
But on the outside of me, I'm yelling at him and he tells me
this. Do you think you're the only
(23:31):
female who wants me out here? Wow, do.
You stop and I said I wanted to.I would.
Have been over, would have been over for me.
I didn't. I just listen to him.
And I said, is that what this is?
I listen to him. And I said, I told you before
you came out of prison, what didI tell you?
Leave me now before you come home and you have a change of
heart and you hurt me because there's going to be temptation
(23:54):
and there's going to be women out there.
And what did you tell me? No, babe, I'm only with you.
I'm with you. You're all I want.
You're all I need. You're all that I want to be
with. That's what you told me, right?
And we go in the house. I'm not going to lie, we didn't
mess that night. And I told him, do you think by
you giving me that is going to just make me want to go home
right now and just be OK? I said no, it's not.
(24:17):
This is not over with. I said, so you giving me this
right now is not making nothing better.
This is not no makeup right here.
This is something that's not no makeup right now.
You just gave it to me because you were you so bad dumb.
What? Yeah, I did it.
Yeah, I took it. But it's not doing nothing for
me because hello. It's still there.
The problem is still there. So what happens is phone keeps
(24:40):
ringing. Are you coming?
Are you on your way? It's a family.
Yeah, I'm trying. She's not leaving.
No, I'm not leaving. Finally, about two hours later,
I left. I cried the whole 45 minutes
home. I cried and cried and I just did
not know what I did wrong. I don't know what happened.
I don't know what happened to him.
I don't know what happened to us.
I just do not know what happened.
(25:01):
Then I find out I'm blocked during that week and I contact
the brother-in-law. I contact the cousin's wife and
I'm like yo I contacted sister-in-law the one that
always like would text me what is going on?
I don't know I don't want to getinvolved.
I don't know what happened. The brother in law's wait what?
You are blocked. Why?
I don't know OK, I got you. He called him, made him call me
(25:23):
and I recorded those last calls.My sister was there with me
because at this point I had my family knew now because I
couldn't hold it no more I was not myself I wasn't talking to
no one. I was coming home and going
straight to sleep. And when he called me, it was
just nothing but yelling and yelling and he with her at the
mall exchanging his stuff from Christmas.
And it was bad. He was calling me private.
(25:45):
He was laughing at me over the phone.
Yeah. He was like, are you done yet?
I gotta go. The boys are here.
I gotta go. And he was just like, he didn't
care. And no remorse.
He had no care in the world. That's the woman who held him
down for so long. He just killed her inside.
He had no care at all. He put the biggest, longest
machete through my back ever. He didn't care.
(26:08):
Did he ever ended officially? Save.
Stop. We're done.
No, I knew it was done when I last saw him.
It was January 1st 2022 and thatwould have been exactly our 7th
year. That same day was our
anniversary. And he gave me Tiffany Cole
perfume set, the only thing he ever bought me without a coupon.
(26:30):
And the way he hugged me was side hugged, the way he looked
at me was a half a look. And that moment he walked away
from my car, I knew that when hewalked away it was like he was
going to walk into dust and I would never see him again.
And that's exactly what it was and I never seen him again and I
knew it. I knew from that moment I would
(26:51):
never here or see him again and I had to learn that day to be OK
with it. It killed me, it hurt me, it
robbed me. But what can I do?
I tried and threw all those red flags.
I fought for us as hard as I can.
Yeah, you really did. I don't know many people that
could last that long. So he never officially said
(27:12):
goodbye. Don't talk to me.
He never did and it was because she contacted me.
Blonde headed, white looking. Girl dirty.
Looking she looked it. I'm not trying to judge, but I'm
being honest. And she told me that it was her
man that they had been together for a while.
I was with him at this time as well.
(27:33):
They were sleeping together and and I told her, see I'm going to
make this real clear. When I was with him, yes, I
fought for while he was in prison because once I was told
he was innocent, I wanted to help and I gave him that doubt.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
And I know people might think I'm dumb for that, but people
are going to judge me and it's fine.
I passed but it's my also my story and my testimony.
(27:56):
But I was so upset that he gave her my information to even do
that because how would she have known who I was?
And I was so upset. So I turned around and said you
have a three-year old daughter and you know why he was in
prison or do you not? And she didn't care.
She did not care. And it was funny because she
made no sense in a lot of her sentences.
And actually if you look on my TikTok I'm her DMS are actually
(28:19):
posted. Oh nice.
And she was just trying to tell me that they have been messing.
I need to leave him alone. He don't want me that I'm this
and I'm that and I'm just focused on that.
But at the end of the day, I don't know what he had told her.
She did contact me and yes I exchanged words and me being me
I contacted her baby daddy and Idid it because yes he cheated
(28:42):
but yes it takes 2 to say OK let's do this because you want
to go and take him or whatever you want to call it.
I'm not going to take your baby daddy, but I am going to
exchange some words. And I told your baby daddy why
he was in prison. He was hurt as well because this
was not the first time that she had cheated on him.
And that's why I say she had dirty girls.
(29:04):
And he told me she was known in the Bay Area.
She was known in the city of Hayward.
And so that's why I was like, damn.
Like he went from me to that. Wow.
In hindsight, do you think that he planned this?
Do you think that he had no intentions of being with you, or
do you think it had something todo with him coming out of prison
(29:27):
and changing in that moment? I think he only was with me for
the ride. Now that I look back I think we
would have been better off as friends and I think also coming
home looking all nice and sharp now boost to his ego.
I knew that he was going to get attention.
He knew he was going to get attention and all his old school
(29:47):
friends from back in the day knew he was home.
Yes, I'm talking about also females.
And it was just a lot of attention and he knew that he
can loop up whoever he probably wanted to or could have.
And I think we just had a changeof heart valley to say.
And I wish that I would have known this way in the beginning
or else I would have moved on and not waited so long like I
(30:07):
did. But then again, men in prison, a
lot of them, they love to give you those dreams and those hopes
and they sell you a good book. And unfortunately, I was one of
the females who who fell for it.You know, I I didn't know my
words and I didn't know my valueat that time.
And I was vulnerable out of a four year relationship meeting
him to and I fell for it all. And when he came home, he was
(30:29):
just someone knew. His mom even told me that he was
aggressive and that she was evenscared to be alone with him.
So that just tells you a lot from who he was in prison, a
sweetheart, to when he came home.
It was just like, what in the world?
Do you think this was his true character and he just hid it
from you? As far as that I I never
experienced him right before he went to prison.
(30:52):
But as far as that, it's hard tosay.
The person I knew who he was while he was in prison is the
person his family did describe. OK, who needs if I went with
that? I've seen how he was with his
mom in prison on business because she would go with me
sometimes. And I've seen how he was with
his sisters and stuff at home. But I think it was just he was
overwhelmed with life. He was overwhelmed with learning
(31:14):
everything, stress and stuff. And I understood and I got about
that, but like I told him, it's just one day at a time, but what
do I got to do with it? And he put it all on me.
Do you think he loved you? I think he loved me to an
extent. As far as was he really in love
with me? I don't know.
When I was back, I could probably say maybe not as I was
with him. Because if I called you and said
(31:37):
are you still in love with me and you easily with no
hesitation said no, that tells me that you probably never work.
Because if you asked me, I wouldhave said yes and would no
hesitation. But as easy as he said it, now
that I look back, I don't think he was in love the way he
explained or would tell people or would tell me, but only he
would really know that answer. But why do you think he dragged
(31:58):
it out like that? In prison, it's hard to find
someone who's really going to hold you down because I think it
was that I held them down for all those years and I felt like
maybe he thought he owed it to me.
He owed it to me. He owed me something.
He owed me at least a little bitof his time home before things
(32:20):
probably did go South. But that's what I think it was.
It's just that I held them down and did so much and I think he
just thought he owed it to me for a little bit.
Because I was thinking maybe like he felt guilty.
He could have felt guilty as well, but I think it was more
like our oldest woman something.Do you forgive him for
everything he did? I do really, but I will never
(32:42):
forget. And you never spoke to him
again. I spoke to him a year later.
I reached out. The only reason why I reached
out was because I found out I had thyroid cancer and I wanted
him to know what I was going through only not to be up with
him, not to I miss you type of thing.
(33:03):
But it was only because when he was incarcerated, this is when
all my thyroid stuff started andhe knew about it.
And I wanted him to still know about it, whether it was bad or
good. And I maybe should not have done
it, but I did because I felt that was a very vulnerable state
of my life and I wanted him to know about it.
Not to be my friend again or anything, but just this is what
(33:24):
I'm going through. This is what happened.
I had surgery, it ended up beingcancers.
And I just wanted to update you,but that text message went to a
whole nother way out. Yeah, he flipped it onto
something different. What do you mean by that?
If I'm getting a text message bysomeone telling me that I once
(33:45):
dealt with no matter what we've been through, I'm going to show
some type of affection towards it.
I'm sorry. I'm praying for you him.
This is where I could tell you the guilt that you said comes
in. He started snapping on me.
He started saying I started it. He started saying I caused
basically us to I guess not to me together but I'm not the one
(34:05):
that cheated. He said I was the one rude and
aggressive. No, I definitely was not because
I have to text messages. I have proof, I have voice
record of our last call and no, I, I was not and I'm not the one
taking selfies with other people.
And so he said that I'm the one who had contacted him, yelling
(34:25):
at him and being aggressive and rude.
But I had never let me tell you something about me.
I'm a sweetheart. I'm very sweet.
I'm I could be corny at times, but when you come to disrespect
me and be rude to me and you think I'm giving you a nice
sweet response back. No, I'm going to be aggressive
and rude just as much as you areto me.
(34:46):
I'm going to match you. And that's what I did.
And he couldn't stand because atthis point, I'm almost healed.
I'm getting healed. And at this point, because of
what he put me through, I learned to stand up for myself
and confirm. So at this point, he couldn't
handle that because he had neverseen that part of me because I
was always sweet to him and he never got that part of me.
And now that he did, he was turning the tables on me, which
(35:07):
to me was a big time narcissist movement.
Yeah. I'm shook, he tried to say.
It was your fault. Yeah, this is my 4th podcast
sharing this story, right? And I have never done this
before, but when you never got an apology from everything that
had happened, I went a year without an apology.
(35:28):
I went a year without closure. And when I contacted him to let
him know about my cancer, I finally got that.
I can't tell you if it was real or not, but I finally at least
got it to where I knew for a fact that was what I needed,
whether it's real or not. And I had to end that right
there and I never read this, butI'm going to read it for this
(35:48):
podcast. I never read this on any of the
other podcast shows that I had been on.
This is one of the last text messages.
He says I'm done going back and forth.
I said what I said, I hope you can respect my wishes.
Thanks. And when I tell you that she was
my family friend, this is what Imean by that.
When he said that he also had said, I don't know what you're
(36:10):
talking about, but being aggressive because I have not,
which he has. If I can only show you my about
breaking up a family that's something I did not do because I
was told there was no family from the beginning in the
picture. She was never anything to me but
my friend. So the girl he cheated the baby
daddy lived with her. He said he never broke up the
(36:32):
family but you did. She was not your friend.
That's why you guys are sleepingtogether and that's why I got
those messages and that's why her post of them where I love
you babe and babe. So finally, as the last message
he ever sent to me, he ever saidto me at this time, and he said,
look, I apologize for any wrongdoings.
Can you please now respect my wishes and leave me alone?
(36:53):
Thanks. And I responded and I told him,
I don't know if that was a real apology or not, but thanks.
That's what I needed. Yeah.
And and that was it. That was it.
That was in 2022. And today's 2025.
My phone number is definitely different and changed.
And I have never spoken to him again.
And I, I don't know where he's at in his life.
(37:14):
And I did hear that he seen my and he thinks he's famous, but
he thinks he's famous for the right reasons.
But honey, no, you're not. You're not.
You're this podcast. No, you're not.
Oh my gosh, you talked about yourself worth and how you
didn't feel you loved yourself and that's part of the reason
(37:37):
why maybe this happened. Where are you at right now with
that? Was this an eye opening
experience for you where you were able to heal some of those
parts? It was a very much eye opener.
It took me a while to know that I need to love myself, I need to
put me first and I am worth it. What I did was I put papers all
over my walls that said I'm worth it.
(37:59):
I'm loved, I'm valued, I'm beautiful, God has my person,
I'm a child of God. God loves me.
Who could be against me? Put all this.
I would read it every single day.
I would put worship music, go tochurch, surrounding myself by
positive and I did it for a while.
I was through the depression. I didn't want to eat.
I barely wanted to shower. Like I was going through that
(38:19):
depression like crazy. But I have to search within
myself and I did. And I felt like I came up from
the top and I dodged a bullet and I realized that I was too
good for him anyway from the beginning.
And when someone loves somebody,they're going to love you and
not put you through anything that they don't need to put you
through or anything that you don't need to be in.
And I had to realize that, but Ilearned everything the hard way.
(38:42):
But I'm thankful. I'm thankful that I did because
I wouldn't be where I'm at today.
Can you imagine ever dating again?
Of course, but I would date. As far as my dating life right
now, I'm single, but I accept the fact.
If I never do, I accept it. I accept the fact.
If I do, I accept it. Either way, I'm happy.
(39:02):
Either way, I'm content. Either way.
This is obviously what God wouldwant from me.
So whatever's in store, I'm ready.
But let me tell you, when I tellyou, my guard is up, My guard is
up. Because now I got to protect my
heart. I got to protect my mind and
soul and I didn't want to ever again from that moment.
But at the same time I can't letthat hold me down also from my
(39:24):
happiness. But right now I'm good where I'm
at. That's a relief.
I don't even know how I would have done that.
I can't imagine what that process must have been like for
you to heal from and to see you come through the other side.
I think there's a lot of women that are going to be listening
to this that have gone through similar things or maybe are
going through it right now and there's some red flags
(39:46):
happening. And to hear you say that you can
get through it, I think that really is going to help people
because I'm sitting here thinking there's no way.
I told Nick if I find out anything, I don't know if I
would make it because I wouldn'tsee it coming.
I thought it was the end of the world.
I'm like, damn, who am I going to love again like that?
It's not the end of the world. It's really not.
Because if you can be in love with somebody and give them all
(40:10):
that time and energy, you betteralso turn back around and be in
love with yourself that same way.
Yeah. And if you could be in love with
yourself that same way that you're giving to that next
person, then you will be OK. And that's what I have to learn
A. 100% true. So after all of this, how do we
feel about relationships with incarcerated individuals?
(40:32):
It's not for me. I will tell you.
I will start off by saying it was my lesson learned.
It's not for me and to each his own.
To those that are doing it, I have respect for those, a former
Beyoncé. So I know what the shoes are and
it's not for me. And I will say it's not for the
weak. Those shoes are not for the
weak. Those are some heavy steel toe
(40:53):
boots to carry. I personally will never do it
again. I will never do it again.
And you just got to be careful because not every incarcerated
person is who they truly say that they are.
Some of them wear masks and you'll never know who they truly
are until you really get that one-on-one with them.
And I feel like you don't reallyget that one-on-one with them
(41:14):
until they're really home, because in prison you you're
guarded with people around and they can't be who they want to
really be. Is there anything that you wish
you would have done differently?I wish I would have stood as a
friend, I wish that. But again, I'm grateful for
being put into that situation only because I was able to help
(41:35):
women worldwide through my TikTok sharing it.
I'm very thankful. This is a blessing that I can
never forget. Give up on, I guess thinking I
knew for those three years before being together.
I knew him. But I wish they would have
probably took more time. And the only thing I can really
say is I wish we would have stood friends.
I don't regret the relationship.It's taught me so much.
(41:56):
But yeah, it's just, it's just, it's just not for me.
Yeah, it's a lot. Is there anything else that
we've left out that you want to touch on or any advice you want
to give anybody before we end? I would like to give advice to
the women who are just starting off in this relationship.
If it's new to you, do not be naive to your friends and family
(42:19):
when they tell you their advice.Do not be naive.
Do not brush them off. Do not take effect because
they're telling you out of love and they're telling you out of
respect and they're telling you out of hard love and good
criticism. I was naive and I did not want
to listen and I wanted to do me because as much as he showed me
he me at the point of him being in there and told me there was
(42:42):
nobody that could take that away.
And I would tell them that he loves me.
No, he loves me. Watch, just watch.
You'll see when he comes home. But as you guys saw it was more
of that I told you so I want youguys to please, please from the
bottom of my heart. Coming from someone who was in
those shoes, don't be naive. Keep your mind open, keep your
guard up protect yourself. I don't care how much in love
(43:04):
you are. I don't care how many times he
tells you he's not going to hurtyou and he he's not to listen to
people. He's not going to do the things
that most people in prison are known to do because I was told
all of that and he came home to be different.
So I'm asking you guys just to please protect yourself, protect
your peace, protect your heart and to listen to others who when
(43:25):
they tell you respectfully, their thoughts, feelings and
opinions, just be open to it. Smart thing to to the women who
are in it to the women who are in it.
Please also keep your guard up. Please also be cautious because
the moment you hang up that phone, you don't know who
they're truly calling. After the moment you hang up,
(43:48):
you don't know who they're writing as well.
So pay attention to the red slide.
We all want to believe our man. We all have benefit of the doubt
because I was in your shoes too,and I know.
But also pay attention to the behaviors.
Pay attention to the attitude, the mood swings, the changes.
Pay attention to the ones who accused you, why you don't
(44:08):
answer your phone, why did it take you so long?
Why haven't you visited me? Pay attention to those because
you can read through those linesbecause when you're being
accused, it could be because they're the ones doing it.
So be blindful also and keep your mind open.
And to the ones who have their man coming home, remember that
you still do not know this person, the incarcerated person.
(44:30):
You don't know who they are. Personally, I don't care if you
sit here and you are telling me I knew my man before he went in.
While they're in there, they change.
So please also be aware, be careful because they can flip on
you. They can become mean and
aggressive, abusive, verbal abuse.
Be careful as well and get to know this person day by day
(44:54):
because it takes a while to knowsomebody who also been
incarcerated more than 5 to 10 years.
So take your time, keep your guard up and always remember
ladies, you are worth it. You're beautiful, you're valued,
you're important, you're amazed,amazing, you're a queen and
never let no man tell you no different.
Especially a man that is just coming home who has nothing
(45:15):
going for himself. But besides you doing
everything, just remember you are worth it and never let no
man tell you no different. You got this and this is what
you want. Try it out.
But once you know it's changing and it's not going where they
promise you because they're going to tell you these
promises. And once those are not being
met, that's when you need to be careful for real and open your
eyes. It's scary how good you are at
(45:39):
this, how much information you can give and how accurate.
So many people I've spoken to say the same thing about when
they're coming home and when you're in there and you're so
accurate in so many ways, and it's so hard to listen to this
information, but it's so important I don't.
Want everyone to win, right? I want everyone to be happy.
(46:00):
I want everyone to get that experience, whether like I did,
it was good or bad. I want that for those who waited
so long like I did. But just because you held it
down for a man for the amount ofyears that you did, like I did,
don't mean anything. It don't mean anything.
But 2025 and this generation nowadays is different than back
(46:22):
then. And there's a lot of women that
I've came across that I knew my man before.
Guess what, baby? You don't know him now because
you haven't got to sit on a couch with him for 25 years.
He's a different man. He's institutionalized.
When he comes home, he's institutionalized.
He's still going to shower with sandals and clean his drawers in
the shower because mine did. Like you think we know him
(46:43):
because we talked to him daily on a 15 minute phone call.
But that does not define that you.
I really know this man. Like I said, I want everyone to
be happy. I pray for successful stories.
I really do. But you know what?
The ones who boast about it the most are some of the ones who
don't always become successful. And I hope the best for everyone
(47:04):
who's doing it. It's a hard path to walk if you
make it. And if you don't take this as
your testimony, as a lesson. And look at me, I'm able to
speak about it worldwide on podcast.
People get to hear it. My TikTok, I got to help so
many, many women. So blessed and thankful.
It becomes a story that can never die.
Prison never ends. Every day a baby's born, every
(47:27):
day someone's coming out, going into prison.
Yeah, so it never ends. Someone's trying it out because
their friend is trying it. And their friends.
Girl, he got a friend for you. Oh, let me try it.
Someone's always trying it. Yeah.
Do you know anyone that's that success?
I do, but it's very few out of one hand.
I probably know three fingers worth.
(47:49):
Yeah, you spoke about your social media.
What's your handle? So you guys can find my story on
official under score Know Your Worth, but that is KNOURWORTH
and I am on Tiktok, I am on Instagram.
I also have a YouTube and I havea Clapper, but my Clapper
(48:09):
doesn't have my story. It's my Tiktok that has my
prison story, so that's where you guys can find me.
I've done videos. I try to do motivational videos.
I also like mimic songs. But some of the songs I mimic,
it's not nothing like towards what I'm going through with what
men tell women. So I changed the captions a
little bit. Like, for example, like dilemma.
(48:31):
Even when I'm with my Boo, I think about you.
Yeah, he could be with you, but thinking about who he's cheating
on you with, I like to change the narrative.
Yeah, But my story is definitelyfound on TikTok.
And the official know your worth.
Is it the same handle on Instagram?
Yeah, OK, great. Actually interview of me saying
the same story on my YouTube. Oh fun I'm gonna go check that
(48:52):
out I'm excited and spoiler alert there's pictures all over
her TikTok so all of y'all need to go see it because I feel like
putting the face to it really changes the way you see it.
I didn't see all of the pictures, I only scrolled to a
few and I cannot picture this man doing these things so it's
(49:12):
crazy you guys look. So neither do that.
Like I said, he was a pretty funny guy and I don't know what
happened when he came home, but neither did I.
Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you for having me. Yeah, this was great.
I so appreciate your time and your insights.
And I love what you said and I love that you've gotten through
(49:34):
it. And I think that's a huge part
of this is that so many of us may go through it, but there is
another side. And you've grown so much and
have so much insight to share with people as a result of that.
So thank you. Sincerely, and I'm open if
anyone would love to DM me, ask me questions, advice, whatever.
I've helped so many women by them doing that.
I'm open to it. You guys can always reach out to
(49:56):
me and I've been in those shoes and I know what my prison
sisters are going through. You're so sweet, thank you so
much. I don't even know how you do it.
You're incredible. I don't know that I would have
the energy to be able to keep helping people after this.
I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to tell you why I
helped. Tell me and.
I had my father in my life and he's still in my life and I
(50:18):
can't tell you I had daddy issues like that.
But a lot of us women are brokenand a lot of us women did not
have the love of a father figure, a broken home.
And a lot of us women, we look to the streets, we look to men
in prison, we look to easy ways to find love.
And I know that there's a lot ofwomen who are so used to being
abused and verbal views and domestic.
(50:39):
There's so many women and they feel that the only easy way to
get that type of love is from someone incarcerated because you
know, they need it too. And it's a lot of broken souls.
And I feel that fall for that real fast and easy because like
I said, it's easy access to get someone to say, I love you soon.
And a lot of women because of issues like that, they have that
(51:00):
trauma bond and they never dealtwith it.
And so when a man says I love you to them, it's comforting and
it's everything that they've always wanted to hear from their
father or whoever may have raised them.
And because there's women who will be with someone who will
beat them to their black and blue and still repeat and go
back and forth with them becausethat's who they love, because
that's their Trump bond and their soul side.
And a lot of women don't know their worth and they don't know
(51:22):
that they are important, that they are loved, that they are
wanted and they are really needed.
And a lot of women don't know that.
I could tell you I love you and you're mad can tell you I love
you, but no man will really loveyou as much as God can ever love
you. And and that's why women are
important and a lot of women don't know we're off to get
love. And it's just so easy to be with
someone in prison because it is,but at the same time don't know
(51:46):
who else they're interacting with.
You might meet 1 today, but yesterday he just sent out a
letter to someone else. So you really just do not know.
And all those women out there, like I said earlier, you guys
are worth it. You know what I mean?
And never forget that, and neverlet nobody tell you different.
I think you hit it bang on. That's so true.
And on a real note, how many people in the free world are in
(52:09):
healthy relationships? None.
See. I'm going to say something
because I got questioned this a lot when I shared my story on
live and got questioned by people.
A relationship on the outside isjust a verse on a relationship
in the inside is when I got told, but I'm going to say
something and I'm going to say why.
To me, it's different. A relationship on the outside
it's easy for you to fix. You have communication, you can
(52:31):
meet the person, see the person,call the person.
You don't have to write and waitfor 15 minute phone calls and
then go back in line and do all that.
Hey, I get that. But when you held time, when you
put money, when you put effort, when you put trips, when you put
gas, when you put letters, when you put ink and paper put
together and stamped an envelopeand you will years and years and
(52:52):
years and years for a man. When they come home and tell
you, I'm marrying you, I'm giving kids, we're buying a
house for going to this island, we're doing this and this.
And they don't do it and they break everything and they leave
you. I'm going to be honest with you,
because I've been with men from the streets, it's a different
hurt. I was more hurt from the man
from prison than the man that ever hurt me from the street.
(53:13):
And that's time that you can never get back from being with
someone that was incarcerated. I didn't throw purposely in his
face what I did for him, but I reminded him.
And you shouldn't have to remindthe man what you've done for
them out there down. They should automatically
already know. And for my ex to be how he was
like that told me a lot. And the hurt I went through, the
(53:33):
depression I went through was way worse than someone I ever
was with from the outside. So the hurt is no comparison.
It's like that emotional bond, yeah, is where they get you, I
think. Exactly that.
Sucks. Thank you again and thank you
for all the information and I appreciate you offering up your
inbox to anybody who's. Going yeah, no, let's do it.
(53:56):
I'm here. Okay, cool.
All right. Thanks again and have a good
night. Yep, no problem.
Thank you. Take care.
You too.
When he walked away, it was likehe was going to walk into them
and I would never see him again.And that's exactly what it was,
and I never seen him again. Welcome to More Than a Inmate's
Girlfriend. I'm your host Jay and today we
are ending the series on betrayal with Part 2 and the
(00:23):
finale of Official Story. So if you have not listened to
Official Story yet, her Part 1 it did drop last week.
Please stop this episode, go back, listen to Part 1 because
it is insane what she went through and you will have no
idea if you haven't listened thefirst part, what's happening
now. So we're continuing on with the
(00:45):
story after he's come home and how it kind of went downhill
from there and what ended up happening.
But then after that, we will be breaking and not bringing up any
type of stories like these for the rest of the season.
I think we might do kind of thisseries every year, throw in a
few. But really the idea of this
podcast is to emphasize the humanity behind bars and and
(01:11):
that we're not our worst mistakeand there are healthy and happy
relationships that are possible in these scenarios and that
people are, again, so much more than their mistake.
So we really do want to bring that focus on to that.
So yeah, we'll continue on with that next week.
We do have some interesting weeks ahead.
It's crazy because there's so many episodes that we have
(01:32):
recorded and AJ and I are like, we're so excited.
But then we interview new peopleand we meet new people and we're
like, we want to interview and release your episode.
And it's it's like crazy, you guys.
We just love and appreciate so much how many people are coming
forward and how many people alsothat we're reaching out to are
accepting the opportunity to letus talk to them.
So yeah, AJ and I are just really super excited about where
(01:56):
this is going and what's happening and the pickup of it.
And I mean, we're just celebrating.
We're not even at the six month mark of this podcast and I think
this is episode 19. Like it's crazy.
And we have so many that are already recorded that we're
releasing in the next couple of weeks.
So yeah, lots of good stuff ahead.
And like we say every episode, please continue to support us.
(02:19):
And in order to do that, all we need for you to do is just hit
that follow button. Listen to the episodes if you
enjoy them, comment on them if you have any feedback.
And if you are on social media, we would love for you to follow
us. We would love for you to reach
out. There was someone recently that
reached out again and I hadn't spoken to her in month and she
(02:41):
reached out again to say hi and check in.
And it was just so nice because sometimes conversations get lost
and we lose touch with people. And then to hear people come
back and check in on us individually, like it's, it's
just really neat. It's really cool.
And especially she's across the pond.
So that's fun too. But yeah, so please follow us on
social media at podcast under score prison GF is the
(03:01):
Instagram, the TikTok is at morethan an inmates GF.
Follow us on their comment. Like just share, just share.
That's all we ask is just share the podcast and what it is and
what we're trying to do. Just share with your loved ones
so that we can expand and grow and ideally move into more than
(03:23):
just our community because we want to bring in people that
have no idea because you don't know until you know.
And then once you know what the criminal justice system is like,
once you know the stories behindpeople, you can't unknown it.
And you know, true crime is so popular and there's a million
reasons why. I don't know any of them, but it
(03:45):
is so popular. And you know, I was talking to
Nick yesterday about it. It's so popular.
And it's really usually from like the victim sides, which is
very important and the story andwhat not in the news and all
this. But what we're doing is taking
that away and then going to the person that committed it or the
person that is allegedly the onethat committed it and talking to
(04:06):
their loved ones. We're talking to them sometimes
and learning about who they are as a person and how they're not
their worst mistake. I think the angle that we take
can really hopefully our hope isthat it broadens people's minds,
maybe opens it up to the fact that we're all human, that
sometimes we make mistakes, thatour past brought us to certain
(04:30):
places that may have been horrible or the person's
innocent or whatever. But either way, I think it's
important for us to showcase that there is another side to
all of it, and that's exactly what we're trying to do.
So with that, I'm kind of a little sad, but I will say
goodbye betrayal series until next year and I will leave you
(04:52):
to listen to the last part of official story and she will drop
her handle and all the information.
It will also be in the show notes if you want to follow her
and see where she's at right now.
So with that, I will let you go on with the show.
Enjoy. And then you said the fights, so
(05:14):
the fights started within two days.
Yeah, it started that second day, that night, and then it
just kept going. The main fights were always his
phone. It was always his phone was
always going off text messages, group chats.
And it was just like, bruh, really?
I live further. I get it.
I'm not trying to be too selfishat the same time, because I also
understand they want time with him too.
(05:35):
But I'm like, damn, you're goingto see them every single day and
you're not going to see me everyday because I don't live as
close. But me knowing who I am, I know
that I would always try to make it happen to see him all the
time, but it was the phone that started a lot of problems.
Did you think he was talking to other women?
No, not at the time, just because he just got out.
(05:56):
So who had that number yet? But then again, I was one of the
first to ever get his number. I had his number before he had
his number. He had a phone.
Before he got out, they had already had his number.
And the moment I told him that he had a number, he was still
incarcerated and he hung up the phone, call me right back.
And now that I look back, he could have, when I gave it to
(06:17):
him at that time, he could have gave it to some people that I
don't know about. Because come to find out, when
he was incarcerated, about a year or two before he got out,
he had an Instagram I had no idea about and seeing it on my
suggested friends. I was like, what?
So he could have seen a couple people that I really to this
day, I can't tell you if he did or not, but he did have that
number ahead of time before he came home.
(06:39):
He would show me his phone all the time.
I would see who he would call, who would calling, who he would
call, who was texting, who he was texting.
So there was really no doubt toomuch as far as that in the
beginning, in the beginning. Let me make that clear.
So yeah, like I didn't really have doubt in the beginning of
him having a foam. And there was a lot of roller
(06:59):
coaster moments, but was there any moments after where things
got better? I want to say yes or no.
I want to say I can remember more bad than I could remember
the good. I felt like the only good moment
was when I took him to the Half Moon Bay.
That was a good moment. I took him to the beach and he
stood on top of the hill and he was like, I'm free.
(07:21):
He felt the breeze in the ocean,heard the ocean, felt it.
So that was a very great moment to experience with him.
I'm not going to lie, I think I probably even got choked up that
day. From there, we went to San
Francisco. I took him to a Puerto Rican
restaurant to take Puerto Rican food.
I'm Puerto Rican and he had never ate Puerto Rican food.
So we went. He enjoyed it.
(07:41):
That was an awful good moment. But at the same time, little
things that triggered some of those good moments to where like
he wouldn't be a smart ass or sarcastic or certain things.
And like I said, I tried to makegood moments.
I don't like fighting, I don't like arguing.
I tried to avoid that and so didhe.
That's what's weird to me is that was one of our roles is
(08:03):
we'll always talk it out, not yell it out.
And he switched up on it. But I still try to be calm and
patient and deal with it and tryto understand like, OK, he's new
home, he's new home, he don't know nothing, you don't know
nothing. Very few good moments.
I felt like a bad moment took over.
Did those moments that you did have that were good, did you
feel like he was genuine, like he wanted to be there?
(08:23):
I did OK. I did.
I did. And did he plan moments to see
you? No.
If it wasn't me planning, I didn't know when I would see
him. If it wasn't me asking can we go
on a date, which I don't feel like I shouldn't have to ask.
I didn't know when I would see him because everything was I
don't know. I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know who's coming. I don't know where I'm going.
I don't know I'm going to be late.
Everything was, I don't know. So you just felt like you were
(08:45):
less and less of a priority. Definitely when it came to
family functions, I was never invited.
Family parties, I was never invited.
Barbecues. I was never about anything
family, anything where you know your brother is going to have
his girl or you're like the family thing.
I'm thinking I'm part of the family right after all these
years. And obviously I was like the I
(09:07):
was like the outsider. I was never invited.
He never asked me anything. And I did bring it up to him
like, hey, like I would love to come.
I'm a family oriented person, a big time family oriented person,
and I would love to be there. And he was like, I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know. I got to find out.
I don't know the details, but itwas always an excuse.
And no, I never went to know family function but I did see
pictures and Snapchats and stuffat that time.
(09:29):
And what was your reaction? What did you do as you're
feeling him drift away? What can I do?
What can I do? I felt it's the more I pressured
it the more he just becomes mad.The more I asked him the more he
gets an irritated. So what can I do?
I couldn't force him. No I'm going to be there.
Send me the address now. I couldn't do that, so there was
nothing I could do besides sit here in my room and just think I
(09:52):
do to deserve this. Yeah, and what was the final
straw? What happened in the last
moment? You guys broke.
Up it was a lot of arguing. He got home in August and I
promised by the end of September, October it was
already going bad and I noticed little things.
I went from being able to look into his phone, sing his phone
(10:13):
to him, him pulling it to the side and covering it.
He changed his passcode, I couldn't get into it and his
phone went off late at night while I'm there with him.
He asking like it's midnight, I'm here It's not me.
Who is it? So don't worry about it.
It's my brother-in-law. And what was really strange was
his sister-in-law was always texting him, oh, this is what I
(10:34):
ate. Look what I ate.
Oh, this tastes good You got to try this.
So their relationship to me got really weird because it was just
like bro, yeah, you're also learning who he was as well
coming home because the brother got with her.
He knew of her, but he didn't myaccident really know her and
they were like texting each other a lot.
Oh look, she sent me this food plate, man, it looks good.
And that was always an argument Us being on dates was always
(10:56):
argument. It was bad.
And this is when I started opening up to people, find
people. This is when I start telling my
sister and my mom. And of course they're like, I
didn't want to tell you. I told you.
But I did tell you. And I started changing.
I can feel myself changing. I can feel myself going through
the depression. I can feel myself going through
(11:16):
the herd. I looked into the mirror and I
just knew I wasn't myself anymore.
But again, I loved them. Yeah.
What I love. And that was hard.
I love. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I love them. And I just kept fighting.
And when he was in prison, we always would do fast things
together. We put, we would fast from
certain things and we would always put God in the middle.
(11:37):
And I would remind them of thosethings.
And it didn't matter to him at the time anymore.
So I always told him, like, dude, we're a power couple, what
are we doing? If we dugged it out in all these
years, I know we can thug it outhere.
We ain't nothing come out and stop us out here.
But no, like, a lot did stop. One time I told him, I wish he's
still in prison. Wow.
(11:59):
And I told him that because of who he had became when he came
home, I said I wish you were still in prison because who you
are today I do not know. And he didn't say so, but it
really didn't. And I said that I was crying and
hurt that day because we got into it.
It was first the end already of us.
I knew it was. Let me make this clear, too.
I'm not a real materialistic person.
(12:21):
Yeah, my shoes might be certain things, but I really am grateful
if it comes from the dollar store or Walmart and like that.
Right. But he never bought me stuff.
When he came home, he had a job.About a month later, he had a
car already paid off. And he never bought me nothing.
I always bought him something. I always gave him a gift.
I always thought of him when I went to the store.
(12:41):
Oh, didn't you say you need to? OK, I got you.
That's who I am. I'm still like that.
My heart in that area had never changed.
But he never did. Like when he bought me a dessert
bowl, it was because he had a coupon.
It wasn't because it was full. Christ, it was a coupon.
I was thankful and grateful. But damn, boy, I still pay full
price for you. Like.
So it was just a lot of things that started to occur.
(13:03):
Yeah. But what really took the stroll
for me was when I got home from work and I text him and I said,
hi, babe, how you doing? I just got home.
I hope you ate. One thing about me is the people
I care about, I'm gonna make sure if they ate, I'm gonna
always ask. And I was blocked.
What? I was blocked and I thought I
was tripping and. But like, all of a sudden I
(13:26):
knew. Yeah, just out of nowhere, I was
blocked. That's not my phone service got
cut or something. I was tripping.
I was really like, no, the no, no, no, nothing day.
No, no, Gina, no. But I was blocked and I let it
be for that quick moment. I had to soak it in because like
(13:47):
prior to that, I had plans. There was plans I had.
I wanted him to see things he did not see because he was
obviously incarcerated. So prior to all of that, let me
say this real quick before I getinto that.
Yeah, I took him to the Oakland A's Coliseum.
Seeing the A's sat in the very front.
That was a good moment. I took him to the San Francisco
(14:08):
49ers stadium. He wanted to see the Niners.
He's a Niner fan. That was that was that moment.
Oh, man, I can't even say it wasgood because that day, that
morning, I should say the night before he went out.
And you know what's so crazy is that the city he went out to was
the city I live in today. And he couldn't even never come
and see me, but he sure came to a Christmas party.
(14:30):
Wow. And and I ain't gonna lie, I
made something up when he was atthe party.
I made it up as if I was scared or something to be in the room,
in the hotel room so he can callme because I had he's he's out.
He's like it has been hour like maybe more than 8 hours since I
had heard from him or something.So I'm like damn.
Like he really don't care. I'm alone, I'm in the city, I'm
by myself I'm in a hotel like I'm going to make something up
(14:52):
and I did, I did and he called me and you'll be good.
I'm like yes I'm doing damn are you good?
Hi, hello type of thing. I'm good.
I can't hear you much the music.I gotta go.
And I know I was in the lingerieaccess.
I was expecting for him to come back early, send him some
pictures of me in the lingerie, and I got a thumbs up as a text
(15:13):
response back on. Not even at least you look
pretty. Nothing, just a thumbs up.
Our text messages went from conversation to me talking to
myself pretty much because all of his responses were emojis and
they weren't emojis where they're like lovable emojis,
their emojis like you're irritating the hell out of me.
(15:34):
Leave me alone emojis. And that's how it had been for a
month or two. It was just emoji after emoji or
what the how do you want or I'm busy.
And one day I picked up that phone when I got home from work
and I called them and I was already crying because I just, I
couldn't take it no more. And I called them and I said, I
(15:55):
just want to know one question. And he said, what do you want?
I'm at work, Hurry up. His attitude towards me
definitely changed. He became aggressive, like I
said, in real mean. And I said, are you in love with
me? And he said no and hung up on
me. Oh.
My gosh. I dropped my phone.
I I don't know if I cleaned my ears that morning or what, but I
thought I was tripping that moment.
(16:16):
I hugged my pillow and I cried myself and I took a nap.
Woke up with the most headache, dry eyes.
But I was hurt. But that still did not stop me.
I heard I'm clear. But I was in so much denial.
Yeah. I was naive to the situation
because again, this is someone Ifought, waited for, loved.
And I just was like, no. Like we got plans and promises.
(16:38):
No. And I still took them to a 49er
game after the fact of him saying that, yes, I know I'm
dumb. Yes, I was dumb at that moment
for it. I was, my family was trying to
encourage me to take other people and take this person.
That person. Oh, they like, no, I'm not.
I'm taking him. I bought the tickets for him.
I told him and I'm taking him. I got him his jersey.
(17:00):
I got him his favorite jersey player and I got him that whole
thing he I wore that day, got him.
And that day of the game I put back that lingerie.
I knew he was coming to my hotels.
I put it back on, got my makeup ready, got it on.
He walked in that door like I was just a hole in the wall,
like I was a nobody. As I hold the door open, he
walks in and he just throws himself on the bed and I'm like
(17:22):
hi, hi. No hugs, not even a half a hug,
not even a fake hug, nothing, nothing.
I was nobody. And it had been a while since we
obviously I got it in and I wanted to get some.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you guys I did not.
I did. And he looked at me and he said
do not catch Billings. What?
I said do not catch feelings. He said no.
(17:44):
And I said, boy, it's too late. I've been having feelings for
over 10 years. How you going to tell me not to
catch feelings for somebody I already got feelings for?
Are you crazy? How dumb do you sound?
But how dumb do I also look for?Still doing that.
And I did thing and he just laidthere and that was it.
If you want round two, you got to get me up.
I'm not doing all that. Then it's good.
(18:05):
I don't need it. So we go and eat.
We go to the game. And at this time, he's already
texting someone else that I had no idea, but I just could feel
it. Yeah, I felt it.
Yeah. And his phone again, going
crazy. He's smiling at the phone.
How long next to you are you smiling?
Gosh. And we were in the game and
there was a song that came on. It was in in the Bay Area.
We say the word hypey, which means dance to the music.
(18:27):
Get hyper get with the program type of thing, get with the beat
and I like touched his arm. I didn't pinch him.
I didn't do none of that. I just touched his arm.
Come on, BAE like dance and he like yelled at me in front of
the people that were around. Don't pinch me.
I said I never pinched you. I just like telling you let's
dance like dance. I think he would have enjoyed it
more if he went with whoever he was texting instead of me,
(18:49):
because you look at the pictureson my TikTok.
He looked mad as hell and those pictures like his looks can kill
IB date already. And after the game I wanted to
go eat. We didn't eat the whole game
because it's expensive in there and I wanted to eat.
But he ended up coming up with some plans and he had a shop and
do all this stuff. But I know he was talking to
someone and making plans. I just knew it.
I know it got to his house and that's when he started telling
(19:11):
me like let's try to be friends.And I'm like no, there's no way
we could be friends dude. We built something already but
it was just crazy to me how quick just end and not me.
I wasn't. So I fought and I fought.
My parents are 49 years married and I never seen them give up on
each other and I wasn't going togive up on him either.
And I kept going and fighting and I didn't get nowhere.
(19:33):
We went on our last date and this is really where it goes.
We went on our last date. I paid because I paid for
everything damn near anyway. Hey, I did.
And again, on the phone, hiding the phone, putting it to one
side of the table. I'm trying to take selfies,
making memories. He didn't want selfies, he
didn't want a picture, he didn'twant this.
And that argued with me about it, but he ended up on one of
(19:57):
the pictures anyway. Don't post the type of thing.
Whatever. Go.
I'm gonna do what I do. I'm gonna do what I want.
And we eat, we leave, we go to one of his favorite place.
It's like a healthy place because he's fit and stuff now.
So it's a healthy place to go some certain spots.
And he tells me, oh, remember, Itook my niece to to dinner last
(20:17):
night. Yeah.
How did that go? He shows me a picture of her.
And this is where it goes by. He shows me a picture of her and
he's learning his phone. So he didn't know that he can
cross exit out the gallery on the bottom of the pictures.
OK, I had blonde highlights. I did to see him in the
pictures. If you look on my TikTok, I did.
But this girl was full on blonde.
(20:39):
I click on it and I said who is this?
His eyes opened, his mouth dropped, his face dropped and he
looked at me and my adrenaline at that moment.
Girl, when I saw you it was like2000.
It was moving. I went outside, took you there,
came back in and he's still standing there like stuck.
I said who is she? First answer comes out of his
mouth. It's a family friend, a family
(21:00):
friend. I've never seen her in any of
your family friend functions or family anything family.
So we're walking through the carafter we get our food.
He didn't pay for price. He gave me discount, he got me a
coupon. We gave him the car.
We sit down, he's grubbing like he grubbing on this dessert.
He grubbing like nothing has just happened.
It didn't even say them. I put my bowl down and I'm
(21:24):
crying looking out the window onthe passenger's seat as he was
in my driver's seat and I was crying.
I was crying and I was crying like somebody died.
And he said, so you're not goingto eat your bowl.
This is what you're going to do,Just cry.
He had no remorse. He did not care.
And I said, what do you like? I just slipped on him.
I crashed out. What do you asking me that?
I'm just going to eat a bowl. I just caught you with the
(21:46):
female on your phone. Who is this female?
She is my family friend and I'm allowed to have pictures of the
female. I said, are you because you're
in a committed, engaged relationship.
I said look at my phone and you will not see no man for what?
I don't think it's nothing wrong.
Oh no, it's something wrong. So we left.
We finished his bowl. We left the whole way home.
(22:06):
I looked at him. I said, do these females know
you're engaged? Yeah.
And he said yes. And I said, Are you sure that
you're telling them? Because, honey, it don't look
like it. It don't seem like it.
Why are you even? Why are you engaging with them?
Why are you saving pictures likeI'm yelling though?
And he said it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, Vanessa.
(22:27):
No, it does matter. I tell him and I'm crying and he
said I will pull over this car and I will catch an Uber if I
have to. And I said do what you got to
do. And he didn't though.
He kept driving. And I told him, how can you do
this to me? I howled it down for you.
I supported you. I was there with you.
I did this and I did that. And and his answer was so you're
(22:49):
throwing it in my face. But you did.
I said, I'm not throwing it in your face.
I'm telling you what I did. I'm telling you the truth.
And I'm telling you that you will never find a woman to do
the things that I have done for you.
And I said, but you know what? I got you.
And he goes, there you go throwing it in my face, huh?
Throw. You think I don't know what you
did for me? I said, no, you don't because
(23:10):
look what your actions are rightnow.
We get to his mom's house. I'm outside and yes, I'm crying
still. And it was a big thing in the
front yard. And you know when he kept
telling me, are you done? I gotta go.
He does. I gotta go.
And I'm like, what? Like in my head I'm like, what?
But on the outside of me, I'm yelling at him and he tells me
this. Do you think you're the only
(23:31):
female who wants me out here? Wow, do.
You stop and I said I wanted to.I would.
Have been over, would have been over for me.
I didn't. I just listen to him.
And I said, is that what this is?
I listen to him. And I said, I told you before
you came out of prison, what didI tell you?
Leave me now before you come home and you have a change of
heart and you hurt me because there's going to be temptation
(23:54):
and there's going to be women out there.
And what did you tell me? No, babe, I'm only with you.
I'm with you. You're all I want.
You're all I need. You're all that I want to be
with. That's what you told me, right?
And we go in the house. I'm not going to lie, we didn't
mess that night. And I told him, do you think by
you giving me that is going to just make me want to go home
right now and just be OK? I said no, it's not.
(24:17):
This is not over with. I said, so you giving me this
right now is not making nothing better.
This is not no makeup right here.
This is something that's not no makeup right now.
You just gave it to me because you were you so bad dumb.
What? Yeah, I did it.
Yeah, I took it. But it's not doing nothing for
me because hello. It's still there.
The problem is still there. So what happens is phone keeps
(24:40):
ringing. Are you coming?
Are you on your way? It's a family.
Yeah, I'm trying. She's not leaving.
No, I'm not leaving. Finally, about two hours later,
I left. I cried the whole 45 minutes
home. I cried and cried and I just did
not know what I did wrong. I don't know what happened.
I don't know what happened to him.
I don't know what happened to us.
I just do not know what happened.
(25:01):
Then I find out I'm blocked during that week and I contact
the brother-in-law. I contact the cousin's wife and
I'm like yo I contacted sister-in-law the one that
always like would text me what is going on?
I don't know I don't want to getinvolved.
I don't know what happened. The brother in law's wait what?
You are blocked. Why?
I don't know OK, I got you. He called him, made him call me
(25:23):
and I recorded those last calls.My sister was there with me
because at this point I had my family knew now because I
couldn't hold it no more I was not myself I wasn't talking to
no one. I was coming home and going
straight to sleep. And when he called me, it was
just nothing but yelling and yelling and he with her at the
mall exchanging his stuff from Christmas.
And it was bad. He was calling me private.
(25:45):
He was laughing at me over the phone.
Yeah. He was like, are you done yet?
I gotta go. The boys are here.
I gotta go. And he was just like, he didn't
care. And no remorse.
He had no care in the world. That's the woman who held him
down for so long. He just killed her inside.
He had no care at all. He put the biggest, longest
machete through my back ever. He didn't care.
(26:08):
Did he ever ended officially? Save.
Stop. We're done.
No, I knew it was done when I last saw him.
It was January 1st 2022 and thatwould have been exactly our 7th
year. That same day was our
anniversary. And he gave me Tiffany Cole
perfume set, the only thing he ever bought me without a coupon.
(26:30):
And the way he hugged me was side hugged, the way he looked
at me was a half a look. And that moment he walked away
from my car, I knew that when hewalked away it was like he was
going to walk into dust and I would never see him again.
And that's exactly what it was and I never seen him again and I
knew it. I knew from that moment I would
(26:51):
never here or see him again and I had to learn that day to be OK
with it. It killed me, it hurt me, it
robbed me. But what can I do?
I tried and threw all those red flags.
I fought for us as hard as I can.
Yeah, you really did. I don't know many people that
could last that long. So he never officially said
(27:12):
goodbye. Don't talk to me.
He never did and it was because she contacted me.
Blonde headed, white looking. Girl dirty.
Looking she looked it. I'm not trying to judge, but I'm
being honest. And she told me that it was her
man that they had been together for a while.
I was with him at this time as well.
(27:33):
They were sleeping together and and I told her, see I'm going to
make this real clear. When I was with him, yes, I
fought for while he was in prison because once I was told
he was innocent, I wanted to help and I gave him that doubt.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
And I know people might think I'm dumb for that, but people
are going to judge me and it's fine.
I passed but it's my also my story and my testimony.
(27:56):
But I was so upset that he gave her my information to even do
that because how would she have known who I was?
And I was so upset. So I turned around and said you
have a three-year old daughter and you know why he was in
prison or do you not? And she didn't care.
She did not care. And it was funny because she
made no sense in a lot of her sentences.
And actually if you look on my TikTok I'm her DMS are actually
(28:19):
posted. Oh nice.
And she was just trying to tell me that they have been messing.
I need to leave him alone. He don't want me that I'm this
and I'm that and I'm just focused on that.
But at the end of the day, I don't know what he had told her.
She did contact me and yes I exchanged words and me being me
I contacted her baby daddy and Idid it because yes he cheated
(28:42):
but yes it takes 2 to say OK let's do this because you want
to go and take him or whatever you want to call it.
I'm not going to take your baby daddy, but I am going to
exchange some words. And I told your baby daddy why
he was in prison. He was hurt as well because this
was not the first time that she had cheated on him.
And that's why I say she had dirty girls.
(29:04):
And he told me she was known in the Bay Area.
She was known in the city of Hayward.
And so that's why I was like, damn.
Like he went from me to that. Wow.
In hindsight, do you think that he planned this?
Do you think that he had no intentions of being with you, or
do you think it had something todo with him coming out of prison
(29:27):
and changing in that moment? I think he only was with me for
the ride. Now that I look back I think we
would have been better off as friends and I think also coming
home looking all nice and sharp now boost to his ego.
I knew that he was going to get attention.
He knew he was going to get attention and all his old school
(29:47):
friends from back in the day knew he was home.
Yes, I'm talking about also females.
And it was just a lot of attention and he knew that he
can loop up whoever he probably wanted to or could have.
And I think we just had a changeof heart valley to say.
And I wish that I would have known this way in the beginning
or else I would have moved on and not waited so long like I
(30:07):
did. But then again, men in prison, a
lot of them, they love to give you those dreams and those hopes
and they sell you a good book. And unfortunately, I was one of
the females who who fell for it.You know, I I didn't know my
words and I didn't know my valueat that time.
And I was vulnerable out of a four year relationship meeting
him to and I fell for it all. And when he came home, he was
(30:29):
just someone knew. His mom even told me that he was
aggressive and that she was evenscared to be alone with him.
So that just tells you a lot from who he was in prison, a
sweetheart, to when he came home.
It was just like, what in the world?
Do you think this was his true character and he just hid it
from you? As far as that I I never
experienced him right before he went to prison.
(30:52):
But as far as that, it's hard tosay.
The person I knew who he was while he was in prison is the
person his family did describe. OK, who needs if I went with
that? I've seen how he was with his
mom in prison on business because she would go with me
sometimes. And I've seen how he was with
his sisters and stuff at home. But I think it was just he was
overwhelmed with life. He was overwhelmed with learning
(31:14):
everything, stress and stuff. And I understood and I got about
that, but like I told him, it's just one day at a time, but what
do I got to do with it? And he put it all on me.
Do you think he loved you? I think he loved me to an
extent. As far as was he really in love
with me? I don't know.
When I was back, I could probably say maybe not as I was
with him. Because if I called you and said
(31:37):
are you still in love with me and you easily with no
hesitation said no, that tells me that you probably never work.
Because if you asked me, I wouldhave said yes and would no
hesitation. But as easy as he said it, now
that I look back, I don't think he was in love the way he
explained or would tell people or would tell me, but only he
would really know that answer. But why do you think he dragged
(31:58):
it out like that? In prison, it's hard to find
someone who's really going to hold you down because I think it
was that I held them down for all those years and I felt like
maybe he thought he owed it to me.
He owed it to me. He owed me something.
He owed me at least a little bitof his time home before things
(32:20):
probably did go South. But that's what I think it was.
It's just that I held them down and did so much and I think he
just thought he owed it to me for a little bit.
Because I was thinking maybe like he felt guilty.
He could have felt guilty as well, but I think it was more
like our oldest woman something.Do you forgive him for
everything he did? I do really, but I will never
(32:42):
forget. And you never spoke to him
again. I spoke to him a year later.
I reached out. The only reason why I reached
out was because I found out I had thyroid cancer and I wanted
him to know what I was going through only not to be up with
him, not to I miss you type of thing.
(33:03):
But it was only because when he was incarcerated, this is when
all my thyroid stuff started andhe knew about it.
And I wanted him to still know about it, whether it was bad or
good. And I maybe should not have done
it, but I did because I felt that was a very vulnerable state
of my life and I wanted him to know about it.
Not to be my friend again or anything, but just this is what
(33:24):
I'm going through. This is what happened.
I had surgery, it ended up beingcancers.
And I just wanted to update you,but that text message went to a
whole nother way out. Yeah, he flipped it onto
something different. What do you mean by that?
If I'm getting a text message bysomeone telling me that I once
(33:45):
dealt with no matter what we've been through, I'm going to show
some type of affection towards it.
I'm sorry. I'm praying for you him.
This is where I could tell you the guilt that you said comes
in. He started snapping on me.
He started saying I started it. He started saying I caused
basically us to I guess not to me together but I'm not the one
(34:05):
that cheated. He said I was the one rude and
aggressive. No, I definitely was not because
I have to text messages. I have proof, I have voice
record of our last call and no, I, I was not and I'm not the one
taking selfies with other people.
And so he said that I'm the one who had contacted him, yelling
(34:25):
at him and being aggressive and rude.
But I had never let me tell you something about me.
I'm a sweetheart. I'm very sweet.
I'm I could be corny at times, but when you come to disrespect
me and be rude to me and you think I'm giving you a nice
sweet response back. No, I'm going to be aggressive
and rude just as much as you areto me.
(34:46):
I'm going to match you. And that's what I did.
And he couldn't stand because atthis point, I'm almost healed.
I'm getting healed. And at this point, because of
what he put me through, I learned to stand up for myself
and confirm. So at this point, he couldn't
handle that because he had neverseen that part of me because I
was always sweet to him and he never got that part of me.
And now that he did, he was turning the tables on me, which
(35:07):
to me was a big time narcissist movement.
Yeah. I'm shook, he tried to say.
It was your fault. Yeah, this is my 4th podcast
sharing this story, right? And I have never done this
before, but when you never got an apology from everything that
had happened, I went a year without an apology.
(35:28):
I went a year without closure. And when I contacted him to let
him know about my cancer, I finally got that.
I can't tell you if it was real or not, but I finally at least
got it to where I knew for a fact that was what I needed,
whether it's real or not. And I had to end that right
there and I never read this, butI'm going to read it for this
(35:48):
podcast. I never read this on any of the
other podcast shows that I had been on.
This is one of the last text messages.
He says I'm done going back and forth.
I said what I said, I hope you can respect my wishes.
Thanks. And when I tell you that she was
my family friend, this is what Imean by that.
When he said that he also had said, I don't know what you're
(36:10):
talking about, but being aggressive because I have not,
which he has. If I can only show you my about
breaking up a family that's something I did not do because I
was told there was no family from the beginning in the
picture. She was never anything to me but
my friend. So the girl he cheated the baby
daddy lived with her. He said he never broke up the
(36:32):
family but you did. She was not your friend.
That's why you guys are sleepingtogether and that's why I got
those messages and that's why her post of them where I love
you babe and babe. So finally, as the last message
he ever sent to me, he ever saidto me at this time, and he said,
look, I apologize for any wrongdoings.
Can you please now respect my wishes and leave me alone?
(36:53):
Thanks. And I responded and I told him,
I don't know if that was a real apology or not, but thanks.
That's what I needed. Yeah.
And and that was it. That was it.
That was in 2022. And today's 2025.
My phone number is definitely different and changed.
And I have never spoken to him again.
And I, I don't know where he's at in his life.
(37:14):
And I did hear that he seen my and he thinks he's famous, but
he thinks he's famous for the right reasons.
But honey, no, you're not. You're not.
You're this podcast. No, you're not.
Oh my gosh, you talked about yourself worth and how you
didn't feel you loved yourself and that's part of the reason
(37:37):
why maybe this happened. Where are you at right now with
that? Was this an eye opening
experience for you where you were able to heal some of those
parts? It was a very much eye opener.
It took me a while to know that I need to love myself, I need to
put me first and I am worth it. What I did was I put papers all
over my walls that said I'm worth it.
(37:59):
I'm loved, I'm valued, I'm beautiful, God has my person,
I'm a child of God. God loves me.
Who could be against me? Put all this.
I would read it every single day.
I would put worship music, go tochurch, surrounding myself by
positive and I did it for a while.
I was through the depression. I didn't want to eat.
I barely wanted to shower. Like I was going through that
(38:19):
depression like crazy. But I have to search within
myself and I did. And I felt like I came up from
the top and I dodged a bullet and I realized that I was too
good for him anyway from the beginning.
And when someone loves somebody,they're going to love you and
not put you through anything that they don't need to put you
through or anything that you don't need to be in.
And I had to realize that, but Ilearned everything the hard way.
(38:42):
But I'm thankful. I'm thankful that I did because
I wouldn't be where I'm at today.
Can you imagine ever dating again?
Of course, but I would date. As far as my dating life right
now, I'm single, but I accept the fact.
If I never do, I accept it. I accept the fact.
If I do, I accept it. Either way, I'm happy.
(39:02):
Either way, I'm content. Either way.
This is obviously what God wouldwant from me.
So whatever's in store, I'm ready.
But let me tell you, when I tellyou, my guard is up, My guard is
up. Because now I got to protect my
heart. I got to protect my mind and
soul and I didn't want to ever again from that moment.
But at the same time I can't letthat hold me down also from my
(39:24):
happiness. But right now I'm good where I'm
at. That's a relief.
I don't even know how I would have done that.
I can't imagine what that process must have been like for
you to heal from and to see you come through the other side.
I think there's a lot of women that are going to be listening
to this that have gone through similar things or maybe are
going through it right now and there's some red flags
(39:46):
happening. And to hear you say that you can
get through it, I think that really is going to help people
because I'm sitting here thinking there's no way.
I told Nick if I find out anything, I don't know if I
would make it because I wouldn'tsee it coming.
I thought it was the end of the world.
I'm like, damn, who am I going to love again like that?
It's not the end of the world. It's really not.
Because if you can be in love with somebody and give them all
(40:10):
that time and energy, you betteralso turn back around and be in
love with yourself that same way.
Yeah. And if you could be in love with
yourself that same way that you're giving to that next
person, then you will be OK. And that's what I have to learn
A. 100% true. So after all of this, how do we
feel about relationships with incarcerated individuals?
(40:32):
It's not for me. I will tell you.
I will start off by saying it was my lesson learned.
It's not for me and to each his own.
To those that are doing it, I have respect for those, a former
Beyoncé. So I know what the shoes are and
it's not for me. And I will say it's not for the
weak. Those shoes are not for the
weak. Those are some heavy steel toe
(40:53):
boots to carry. I personally will never do it
again. I will never do it again.
And you just got to be careful because not every incarcerated
person is who they truly say that they are.
Some of them wear masks and you'll never know who they truly
are until you really get that one-on-one with them.
And I feel like you don't reallyget that one-on-one with them
(41:14):
until they're really home, because in prison you you're
guarded with people around and they can't be who they want to
really be. Is there anything that you wish
you would have done differently?I wish I would have stood as a
friend, I wish that. But again, I'm grateful for
being put into that situation only because I was able to help
(41:35):
women worldwide through my TikTok sharing it.
I'm very thankful. This is a blessing that I can
never forget. Give up on, I guess thinking I
knew for those three years before being together.
I knew him. But I wish they would have
probably took more time. And the only thing I can really
say is I wish we would have stood friends.
I don't regret the relationship.It's taught me so much.
(41:56):
But yeah, it's just, it's just, it's just not for me.
Yeah, it's a lot. Is there anything else that
we've left out that you want to touch on or any advice you want
to give anybody before we end? I would like to give advice to
the women who are just starting off in this relationship.
If it's new to you, do not be naive to your friends and family
(42:19):
when they tell you their advice.Do not be naive.
Do not brush them off. Do not take effect because
they're telling you out of love and they're telling you out of
respect and they're telling you out of hard love and good
criticism. I was naive and I did not want
to listen and I wanted to do me because as much as he showed me
he me at the point of him being in there and told me there was
(42:42):
nobody that could take that away.
And I would tell them that he loves me.
No, he loves me. Watch, just watch.
You'll see when he comes home. But as you guys saw it was more
of that I told you so I want youguys to please, please from the
bottom of my heart. Coming from someone who was in
those shoes, don't be naive. Keep your mind open, keep your
guard up protect yourself. I don't care how much in love
(43:04):
you are. I don't care how many times he
tells you he's not going to hurtyou and he he's not to listen to
people. He's not going to do the things
that most people in prison are known to do because I was told
all of that and he came home to be different.
So I'm asking you guys just to please protect yourself, protect
your peace, protect your heart and to listen to others who when
(43:25):
they tell you respectfully, their thoughts, feelings and
opinions, just be open to it. Smart thing to to the women who
are in it to the women who are in it.
Please also keep your guard up. Please also be cautious because
the moment you hang up that phone, you don't know who
they're truly calling. After the moment you hang up,
(43:48):
you don't know who they're writing as well.
So pay attention to the red slide.
We all want to believe our man. We all have benefit of the doubt
because I was in your shoes too,and I know.
But also pay attention to the behaviors.
Pay attention to the attitude, the mood swings, the changes.
Pay attention to the ones who accused you, why you don't
(44:08):
answer your phone, why did it take you so long?
Why haven't you visited me? Pay attention to those because
you can read through those linesbecause when you're being
accused, it could be because they're the ones doing it.
So be blindful also and keep your mind open.
And to the ones who have their man coming home, remember that
you still do not know this person, the incarcerated person.
(44:30):
You don't know who they are. Personally, I don't care if you
sit here and you are telling me I knew my man before he went in.
While they're in there, they change.
So please also be aware, be careful because they can flip on
you. They can become mean and
aggressive, abusive, verbal abuse.
Be careful as well and get to know this person day by day
(44:54):
because it takes a while to knowsomebody who also been
incarcerated more than 5 to 10 years.
So take your time, keep your guard up and always remember
ladies, you are worth it. You're beautiful, you're valued,
you're important, you're amazed,amazing, you're a queen and
never let no man tell you no different.
Especially a man that is just coming home who has nothing
(45:15):
going for himself. But besides you doing
everything, just remember you are worth it and never let no
man tell you no different. You got this and this is what
you want. Try it out.
But once you know it's changing and it's not going where they
promise you because they're going to tell you these
promises. And once those are not being
met, that's when you need to be careful for real and open your
eyes. It's scary how good you are at
(45:39):
this, how much information you can give and how accurate.
So many people I've spoken to say the same thing about when
they're coming home and when you're in there and you're so
accurate in so many ways, and it's so hard to listen to this
information, but it's so important I don't.
Want everyone to win, right? I want everyone to be happy.
(46:00):
I want everyone to get that experience, whether like I did,
it was good or bad. I want that for those who waited
so long like I did. But just because you held it
down for a man for the amount ofyears that you did, like I did,
don't mean anything. It don't mean anything.
But 2025 and this generation nowadays is different than back
(46:22):
then. And there's a lot of women that
I've came across that I knew my man before.
Guess what, baby? You don't know him now because
you haven't got to sit on a couch with him for 25 years.
He's a different man. He's institutionalized.
When he comes home, he's institutionalized.
He's still going to shower with sandals and clean his drawers in
the shower because mine did. Like you think we know him
(46:43):
because we talked to him daily on a 15 minute phone call.
But that does not define that you.
I really know this man. Like I said, I want everyone to
be happy. I pray for successful stories.
I really do. But you know what?
The ones who boast about it the most are some of the ones who
don't always become successful. And I hope the best for everyone
(47:04):
who's doing it. It's a hard path to walk if you
make it. And if you don't take this as
your testimony, as a lesson. And look at me, I'm able to
speak about it worldwide on podcast.
People get to hear it. My TikTok, I got to help so
many, many women. So blessed and thankful.
It becomes a story that can never die.
Prison never ends. Every day a baby's born, every
(47:27):
day someone's coming out, going into prison.
Yeah, so it never ends. Someone's trying it out because
their friend is trying it. And their friends.
Girl, he got a friend for you. Oh, let me try it.
Someone's always trying it. Yeah.
Do you know anyone that's that success?
I do, but it's very few out of one hand.
I probably know three fingers worth.
(47:49):
Yeah, you spoke about your social media.
What's your handle? So you guys can find my story on
official under score Know Your Worth, but that is KNOURWORTH
and I am on Tiktok, I am on Instagram.
I also have a YouTube and I havea Clapper, but my Clapper
(48:09):
doesn't have my story. It's my Tiktok that has my
prison story, so that's where you guys can find me.
I've done videos. I try to do motivational videos.
I also like mimic songs. But some of the songs I mimic,
it's not nothing like towards what I'm going through with what
men tell women. So I changed the captions a
little bit. Like, for example, like dilemma.
(48:31):
Even when I'm with my Boo, I think about you.
Yeah, he could be with you, but thinking about who he's cheating
on you with, I like to change the narrative.
Yeah, But my story is definitelyfound on TikTok.
And the official know your worth.
Is it the same handle on Instagram?
Yeah, OK, great. Actually interview of me saying
the same story on my YouTube. Oh fun I'm gonna go check that
(48:52):
out I'm excited and spoiler alert there's pictures all over
her TikTok so all of y'all need to go see it because I feel like
putting the face to it really changes the way you see it.
I didn't see all of the pictures, I only scrolled to a
few and I cannot picture this man doing these things so it's
(49:12):
crazy you guys look. So neither do that.
Like I said, he was a pretty funny guy and I don't know what
happened when he came home, but neither did I.
Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you for having me. Yeah, this was great.
I so appreciate your time and your insights.
And I love what you said and I love that you've gotten through
(49:34):
it. And I think that's a huge part
of this is that so many of us may go through it, but there is
another side. And you've grown so much and
have so much insight to share with people as a result of that.
So thank you. Sincerely, and I'm open if
anyone would love to DM me, ask me questions, advice, whatever.
I've helped so many women by them doing that.
I'm open to it. You guys can always reach out to
(49:56):
me and I've been in those shoes and I know what my prison
sisters are going through. You're so sweet, thank you so
much. I don't even know how you do it.
You're incredible. I don't know that I would have
the energy to be able to keep helping people after this.
I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to tell you why I
helped. Tell me and.
I had my father in my life and he's still in my life and I
(50:18):
can't tell you I had daddy issues like that.
But a lot of us women are brokenand a lot of us women did not
have the love of a father figure, a broken home.
And a lot of us women, we look to the streets, we look to men
in prison, we look to easy ways to find love.
And I know that there's a lot ofwomen who are so used to being
abused and verbal views and domestic.
(50:39):
There's so many women and they feel that the only easy way to
get that type of love is from someone incarcerated because you
know, they need it too. And it's a lot of broken souls.
And I feel that fall for that real fast and easy because like
I said, it's easy access to get someone to say, I love you soon.
And a lot of women because of issues like that, they have that
(51:00):
trauma bond and they never dealtwith it.
And so when a man says I love you to them, it's comforting and
it's everything that they've always wanted to hear from their
father or whoever may have raised them.
And because there's women who will be with someone who will
beat them to their black and blue and still repeat and go
back and forth with them becausethat's who they love, because
that's their Trump bond and their soul side.
And a lot of women don't know their worth and they don't know
(51:22):
that they are important, that they are loved, that they are
wanted and they are really needed.
And a lot of women don't know that.
I could tell you I love you and you're mad can tell you I love
you, but no man will really loveyou as much as God can ever love
you. And and that's why women are
important and a lot of women don't know we're off to get
love. And it's just so easy to be with
someone in prison because it is,but at the same time don't know
(51:46):
who else they're interacting with.
You might meet 1 today, but yesterday he just sent out a
letter to someone else. So you really just do not know.
And all those women out there, like I said earlier, you guys
are worth it. You know what I mean?
And never forget that, and neverlet nobody tell you different.
I think you hit it bang on. That's so true.
And on a real note, how many people in the free world are in
(52:09):
healthy relationships? None.
See. I'm going to say something
because I got questioned this a lot when I shared my story on
live and got questioned by people.
A relationship on the outside isjust a verse on a relationship
in the inside is when I got told, but I'm going to say
something and I'm going to say why.
To me, it's different. A relationship on the outside
it's easy for you to fix. You have communication, you can
(52:31):
meet the person, see the person,call the person.
You don't have to write and waitfor 15 minute phone calls and
then go back in line and do all that.
Hey, I get that. But when you held time, when you
put money, when you put effort, when you put trips, when you put
gas, when you put letters, when you put ink and paper put
together and stamped an envelopeand you will years and years and
(52:52):
years and years for a man. When they come home and tell
you, I'm marrying you, I'm giving kids, we're buying a
house for going to this island, we're doing this and this.
And they don't do it and they break everything and they leave
you. I'm going to be honest with you,
because I've been with men from the streets, it's a different
hurt. I was more hurt from the man
from prison than the man that ever hurt me from the street.
(53:13):
And that's time that you can never get back from being with
someone that was incarcerated. I didn't throw purposely in his
face what I did for him, but I reminded him.
And you shouldn't have to remindthe man what you've done for
them out there down. They should automatically
already know. And for my ex to be how he was
like that told me a lot. And the hurt I went through, the
(53:33):
depression I went through was way worse than someone I ever
was with from the outside. So the hurt is no comparison.
It's like that emotional bond, yeah, is where they get you, I
think. Exactly that.
Sucks. Thank you again and thank you
for all the information and I appreciate you offering up your
inbox to anybody who's. Going yeah, no, let's do it.
(53:56):
I'm here. Okay, cool.
All right. Thanks again and have a good
night. Yep, no problem.
Thank you. Take care.
You too.
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