May 19, 2024 • 49 mins
When life throws a curveball, where do we find the strength to swing back? Rhiannon's story is a beacon of hope, showcasing the resilience of the human spirit and the profound guidance faith can offer. Faced with uncertainty and struggling to find herself in college, Rhiannon experienced an intense season of depression that found relief by letting go, trusting in Christ's plan for her, and witnessing the resilience of others going through difficult trials as she majored in recreational therapy. Her open heart reminds us that, sometimes, the most arduous paths can lead to the most rewarding destinations.
Rhiannon testifies to the significance of finding something recreational for each of us to do to fully rejoice and celebrate the wonderful God-given gift of our bodies! From painting to embracing the great outdoors, we underscore the essence of finding joy and healing in the simple things to enrich and rejuvenate our souls.
We close our chat with Rhiannon sharing the challenges she's faced navigating church callings and recognizing personal limits is a dance that requires both grace and courage.
Please reach out to me if you are interested in sharing your story! I would LOVE to hear from you. :)
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Lily (00:06):
Hello everyone and welcome to, more Than Coincidence,
remembering Jesus Christ in yourStory.
As the author and finisher ofour faith, our Savior writes
personal experiences into eachof our lives which can later
strengthen, empower and bring uspeace upon reflection.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing these anchoring memories
(00:26):
from everyone's unique storiesin order to collectively
remember and testify of thereality of Jesus Christ and his
presence in our lives.
I'm your host, lily, and I'mvery excited to share these
experiences together.
Okay, so tonight we haveRhiannon.
Thanks for joining us.
Rhiannon (00:45):
Yeah, I'm happy to be here.
Will you introduce yourself?
Sure, I've kind of been bornand raised in Utah but I got to
live yoga and connect withnature and piano and art and
(01:08):
trying to decrease my sugarintake because I eat way too
much, but I just really feel thesame with that, like I probably
should reduce my sugar intake,but we're doing no gluten right
now, so I'm like one thing at atime, absolutely there's so many
things these days, but yeah, Ijust, I love having the
mountains nearby and fourseasons, like I just anyway.
Lily (01:29):
So it's awesome, yeah, sweet.
Well, rhiannon, um, and I'lljust.
I guess we'll just get startedthen.
So what memories do you havethat you reflect on in your life
, that prick your heart inremembrance of our savior Jesus
Christ?
Rhiannon (01:43):
so I was having to kind of like have everything
coalesce into one, because I waslike, well, it's the Holy Ghost
that, like, has prompted me todo certain things, but then it's
God orchestrating it.
But then, like, christ is likethere with me in my journey.
So I was trying to make surethat all kind of came together,
because we, as members of theChurch of Jesus Christ of
(02:03):
Latter-day Saints, do believe ina Godhead, but that they are
three separate beings, and so Ithink, being able to make the
distinction that they areseparate but they have different
roles, but they are a team andsupport each other, was, like
what really helped me.
Like, okay, yeah, like this isJesus Christ in my story but he
also has God and the Holy Ghostall implementing that.
(02:27):
That's awesome, okay, well, yeah.
So I think the theme I wouldsay for mine is trusting in god,
uh, when you can't see the nextstep.
And so I'm a planner and Ireally like knowing exactly what
I'm doing.
I look at things in advance Ijust like to be prepared well.
I've had some times in my life,obviously where that's gone off
the tracks or I have no ideawhat I'm supposed to do.
(02:51):
So the first one was in collegeI was like okay, here we go,
freshman year, I'm gonna dophysical therapy, like that's
what I decided to do.
I like to help people, um, andthat just really appealed to me,
and so I was like okay.
So freshman's first semesterwas great.
Second semester, however, Istarted chem 105 and that became
(03:11):
the bane of my existence and Inot only had to do it Monday,
wednesday, friday for class,like sitting in lecture, but
then I had lab the labs Tuesdaysand Thursdays.
That's intense, yeah.
And so it was like okay, and Ionly a godsend was my home
teacher, who that just meansthat the church groups in the
(03:37):
area around the college are puttogether based on geographic, so
like different congregationsare together geographically, and
so then they're saying, hey,will you kind of watch over and
help out and pray for thisperson right?
and so that person was a good,became one of my good friends
and was my chemistry tutor andhelped me all the time and
(03:58):
without him I would not havepassed.
so, um, bless his heart, I am sograteful and so anyway.
So I thought, okay, I made itthrough, I had the summer break
and I thought I can do with chem106 in four months.
Well, first day of class I satthere.
As soon as it ended I realizedI cannot do this again.
There is no way, because thenafter chem 106 would come, I
think, two physics classes, yeah, and I just thought there is no
(04:21):
way.
So then at that point I kind ofreally hit a low point and like
the biggest depression wave inmy life, yeah, because I thought
I now have no direction.
I don't know what I'm doinghere.
I have no ties, I have norelationship Right, I know I'm
only a sophomore, but you knowdating at that time and so I was
honestly consideringtransferring schools because I
(04:43):
yeah, I just was.
I had I schools, because I yeah,I just was.
I had.
I remember getting the majorlist and I just kept crossing
off a selection after selection,like there's nothing appealing,
that's boring, that's totallyout of my league, right.
And then I remember talking tomy mom about oh, I want to
transfer over to this communitycollege because they have a
physical therapy assistingprogram.
Yeah, and she said, rhiannon, Ijust feel like you need to stay
(05:05):
there, something is waitingthere for you.
And I was like, all right, mama.
Well, she is super in tune withthe spirit.
And so just a few weeks later Ifound recreational therapy,
which is a new modality thatkind of came out in the 80s, but
it helps with leisure education.
So someone's gone through like atraumatic accident, right kind
(05:28):
of think wheelchairautomatically, but you also work
with all different populations,right?
Eating disorders anddevelopmental disabilities.
What's it called?
Lily (05:39):
yeah, it really could be like anything.
Rhiannon (05:41):
Prisoners.
Lily (05:42):
Yeah, incarcerated.
Rhiannon (05:43):
Yeah, anyway, so, and it's amazing there's so many
applications to it, anyway, yeah.
So I went and talked to.
I was like what is this?
I went and talked to myprofessor or sorry, a professor.
I remember walking in and therehe was in a wheelchair and I
thought, okay, this is.
I felt so self-conscious andnervous and so I said, just tell
(06:04):
me about TR.
And he shared his story of.
He was this 14-year-old inIdaho, super outdoorsy kid, just
constantly outside Right.
Well, his friend was climbingover a fence after he had
crossed it, holding a shotgun,and it went off and hit my
professor in the back andparalyzed him.
(06:25):
So here he is is total lack ofidentity, just robbed, gone
right and he said I had no ideahow I was going to function, I
had nothing to live for anymoreyeah and then he was introduced
by a friend or an associate toarchery and tying arrows himself
, and getting involved in thiscompetition and he said that was
(06:46):
my lifeline, that's what pulledme out.
So so I was like, well,obviously I want to participate
in this, like this sounds soincredible.
Yeah, and so I found my major.
So thanks god, thanks mom, Istuck it out there and it was
great.
And then I also ended up upmeeting a guy and we dated and
(07:06):
we ended up getting married.
So he was also there waiting forme, so I thought I'd stuck it
out and just said, okay, likewe'll just finish the semester
and see where it goes.
And then things unfolded.
So that was example one.
Oh shoot, okay, I do have to goback to chemistry real quick,
though, okay, so in I was takinga Book of Mormon class at the
(07:28):
same time and my two friendswere sitting on either side of
me and they had heard my rantsand woes of chemistry and how
hard it was.
Yeah.
So then I distinctly rememberthe exact phrase my teacher used
.
I don't know what he wastalking about.
All of a sudden he said myfriend, if you need help with
chemistry, you've got to ask forit, and immediately the teacher
(07:49):
said that yes like justaddressing everyone, but then I,
I got that and I like never saton the front row, yeah, and so
immediately on either side, bothfriends nudged me with their
elbows like hey that was for youso I thought, okay, like okay,
so yeah, that that was powerful.
So that's actually really cool,yeah, and I I did ask for help
(08:12):
and I did get it and you got it,I passed.
So, yeah, my lowest grade ever,but that's okay, like it still
worked.
Lily (08:19):
Did you ever get a chance to work in recreational therapy
doing that kind of stuff, or doyou think you'd want to go back
and do it again?
Rhiannon (08:26):
I got to work with um women women and girls with
eating disorders, yeah, and umkids with developmental
disabilities, and um andadaptive camps at rec recreation
centers and so, yeah, it's beenreally awesome.
We'll see if I work with it inthe future after my kids are
(08:46):
kind of more on their own.
Lily (08:48):
But do you feel like, um, doing that line of work helping
give others hope was kind oflike something that helped fill
your bucket?
It's almost like the thing thatwhen you were hopeless, it was
given to you to do just likethis thing is was given to other
people when they felt hopeless.
I don't know like, I just kindof feel like that's an
interesting connection.
So do you?
Rhiannon (09:08):
totally, because so much of you know.
People go through work and whatare you living for?
The weekend your leisureactivities, right, and so with
like addiction ones.
I feel like this can be appliedto everyone, because what is an
addiction?
It's a negative coping strategy, and that's a big problem that
a lot of people have with,especially with all the mental
illness these days.
(09:30):
Um, your coping strategies areeither gonna help you and
support you and be a healthything or they're gonna be
destructive and harmful, and soI feel like I was introduced to
concepts and you know we took apsychology class and how to
assess things and whatnot.
But yeah, definitely I thinkit's.
(09:52):
It does provide hope andhealing and again something to
find joy in for people, in forpeople.
So I look forward to yeah, whenthings have been hard and okay,
instead of going and I workedat an internship for the women
and girls with eating disordersand so like that was.
(10:13):
It is an addiction, like that'show they are handling the
pressures of life.
It's not about the food.
That is the result of themtrying to control something and
find a way to deal with all thewaves of emotions and and
stresses right, and so beingable to say hey look, you should
try doing art, or let's gosnowshoeing, or let's do gosh.
(10:37):
I'm trying to think of someother things, but let's find an
alternative for you to pick whenyou're feeling that, instead of
reverting, okay, so that's.
Lily (10:46):
That's kind of what your role was.
Then was someone I don't wantto say to help them find a hobby
, but help them find likesomething meaningful, to like
take their to cut, to help copeand take their mind off of
things and to focus, like themental, emotional, physical,
spiritual somewhere else.
Rhiannon (11:02):
Yeah, right, absolutely yeah, and that was
actually like the definition,and my professor would be kind
of disappointed me, but he wouldlike snap his fingers.
We'd all raise our hands.
We'd say recreational therapyis the modality of helping and
the physical, spiritual, mental,emotional, something, something
anyway I have the gist.
But so yes, and the the otherthing I was gonna say about it
(11:24):
is um, it can also be a lot ofthe rehabilitation part yeah and
so an example my professorshared is like, okay, if you're
dealing with traumatic braininjury and you have left neglect
, where you're at, your righthemisphere is damaged so you
can't see your peripheral visionis cut off he's like okay, well
, instead of like here, let's dothese eye exercises, which can
(11:46):
get boring, or I?
Don't know what other things?
But there is a place forphysical and occupational, like
everything is needed.
This is just an additional likeyeah, well, maybe something a
little more fun yes, so it'ssomething to engage in that you
don't realize you're doing workas much.
And so he's like oh, if they'relike, you have them, use their
left hand to be painting andyou're slowly shifting over
(12:08):
where they dip their brush.
So subconsciously their brainis getting retrained, but
they're not having to like,recognize, like they're not in
that.
Lily (12:16):
They're consciously see that.
Rhiannon (12:17):
Yes, whoa, that's cool yeah, just stuff like that.
And then there's just, there'sjust so much available out there
for people, because it used tobe like, oh, if I can't walk
again life's over.
I'm like, oh my gosh, there'sso many resources for people
with spinal cord injuries andright, it's incredible.
I'm like, oh, you're good, likeI promise you there's tons of
(12:39):
stuff.
Lily (12:39):
Well, so then I guess.
Sorry, I have one last questionyeah, you're good, I think this
is cool.
So what would you say then?
Because my thought immediatelywent to.
You know, there are a lot ofpeople out there who are
struggling with mental health orjust life stressors because
life is really crazy right now,yes, it is.
Rhiannon (12:54):
We're just going to say that it is.
Our world is.
Lily (12:57):
It's chaos.
So then, what would you?
You would then be a bigadvocate for people finding
something like a hobby orsomething like a community to go
out and try and, I don't know,maybe learn something new, or
yes, I don't know, so like what?
What would you do?
You have any things that youspecifically like to do, that
you would say you should try?
Rhiannon (13:17):
this um, I am a big proponent of connecting with
nature.
I mean, that's been, you know,centuries as old as time you
know adam and eve in the gardenof eden yeah, but something
about nature just connects youwith the divine, and if you're
not a believer in god, it'sstill a spiritual experience.
Yeah, so being able to just dothat, whether that's like I'm
(13:40):
just gonna sit barefoot in mybackyard, surrounded- by all our
other.
Lily (13:43):
Like feeling the sun, because sometimes I feel like
that feels so good when you justsit there and you're like I'm
just gonna absorb vitamin d yeah, um I know mindfulness is a big
popular topic, right?
Rhiannon (13:55):
now but it really does help your brain and, just you
know, getting in tune with yourbody right.
Just again, exploring differentmodalities, like you said,
trying a new thing, like oh, I'mgonna go take like a pottery
class or I'm gonna go, um, Idon't know, paddling a canoe
honestly, youtube's such a goodresource.
Lily (14:15):
I learned to crochet from YouTube yeah, you just type in
like I want to crochet a snake,and that's what I did.
There's some people have theseawesome videos that you can just
follow and stuff, so I wouldsay I would advocate for YouTube
too.
Youtube's really good.
If you want to learn oh,absolutely Learn how to do
haircuts that way?
Rhiannon (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, no, it's.
It's honestly such a good toolfor using that to help jumpstart
a new hobby or interest.
And again, it's not like sayingit's just about a hobby is so
far from the truth, like it goesso much deeper right and again.
It's an identity thing, it's awhat you look forward to thing,
(14:52):
it's a social aspect with whoyou connect with or share that
gift with um and so, yeah, justtrying, and my husband's awesome
and he's been so supportive andsaying, hey, go find what, like
what rejuvenates your soul.
That's a question I ask a lotof people is what rejuvenates
your soul?
And at first they're like, oh,just spiritual.
I'm like, no, no, like whatjust like fills you, like what
(15:14):
is something that just resonates?
Yeah, and it's reallyinteresting to see some of the
answers they give and otherpeople I don't really know.
I'm like okay, well, like go seeif you can like get again.
You have to kind of go deep andget in tune with yourself and
say what right, what do I wantto try, or what have I never
done before, or what you I usedto hate and like give that a go
(15:34):
again.
Lily (15:35):
I don't know right right, or just try different things and
just be like, okay, what can I,what can I do?
Because I think even sometimesyou try doing something and
you're like, oh, this is kind ofweird.
But once you kind of get thehang of it, you're like, oh yeah
, like this is reallyinteresting.
And this is kind of kind of howI felt with crocheting.
I was like this is such an oldlady thing.
But once I do it now, like youhave your cute little snake and
you're like, oh, my gosh, it's alittle snake and my kids
(15:55):
absolutely love it, right like,so all these.
Rhiannon (15:57):
I don't know and it is fun at the end, but you're like
I did that yeah so, and my lastthing on that is give yourself
some grace when you're tryingsomething new.
Like set yourself up to say I'mgoing to fail at this, like I'm
not going to be perfect orsuccessful the very first time,
like I'm trying skateboardingright now.
It is really hard.
Are you really?
Yeah, oh my gosh, I didn't knowthat.
(16:17):
Yeah, I went and like, went toDI Desert Industries, which is
just a thrift store.
Lily (16:23):
Yeah, yeah.
Rhiannon (16:25):
P DI Desert Industries , which is just a thrift store,
and picked up a skateboard andfor 15 bucks and I'm like,
alright, here we go, and Istrapped on my that is so cool
gear because I'm like I'm notbreaking a wrist, or no, really,
though, about doing this andyeah so.
But because I already went inwith that expectation of, yeah,
I'm gonna fall, like this isgonna take some time to build up
.
It's been so helpful, so again,yeah, that's for across the
(16:49):
board.
For any new thing like, okay,I'm learning this, this is all
new to me, I've never done thisbefore, and that just helps you
stick with it and not getfrustrated, not get into that
down world.
Lily (17:02):
The spiral, yeah, and sets expectation like realistic
expectations exactly sweet yeah,oh awesome well, what's your?
Rhiannon (17:09):
what's your next thing ?
You?
Have another yeah, so then,with getting my internship?
Um, so this is near the end ofmy college career, so it's
supposed to be.
Your last semester was spent injust your internship.
You couldn't take any otherclasses it had to be just this,
and so, um, I remember trying tofigure out which population I
wanted to work with.
At-risk youth was one that wasnot my.
(17:31):
I am not a like, tough lovelike you are very nurturing.
Yeah, so it was, I went andvolunteered one day and these
girls like got into like a tinyminor fight.
I'm like I I can't do this,yeah, confrontation's not your
thing.
And so.
I was like, oh, maybe I'll try.
Like eating disorders, I knewnothing other than you know the
(17:53):
basics of anorexia and bulimiakind of talked about in health
class in middle school.
And so I went to two differentinterviews, both of which did
not occur with the person I'd bedirectly under who would be?
my boss because she kept havingfamily emergencies, and so I had
the two interviews and then Ihadn't heard anything.
(18:13):
And it was the days werecounting down in the semester.
We had three days to go tillfinals, and then it was winter
break and then your internship,yeah, and I was sitting in class
with all my other cohorts andor my cohort, all my other
classmates, and everyone wastalking about how excited they
were for their differentexperiences and where they were
(18:33):
going to go and who they weregoing to work with.
And here I was sitting,panicking like in sheer.
What am I going to do?
I had no backup plan.
Yeah, I had no idea what Icould even fill during that time
.
Am I going to get kicked?
out Like what's going to happen.
I'm not going to graduate withmy cohort and I just remember
panicking and worrying andstressing.
And so then I go home that dayto my little 400 square foot
(18:57):
student center block apartmentand I was doing some little art
project.
And then I get a call.
And it's my future boss, um,from the eating disorder clinic,
and she says, hi, is thisRihanna?
And I said yeah, and she said,oh, this is so, and so we'd like
to offer you the internshipposition.
I said are you?
serious and she said um, yes.
And I said oh no, yes, yes,I'll take it, thank you, thank
(19:19):
you yeah, and I was.
I hung up, the phone was justecstatic and.
I really hope I said a prayer ofgratitude to God at that point,
but I don't remember if I did,but I was just so relieved, yeah
, and all that worry and stresswas not necessary, and so that
was just a testament to me to belike Rhiannon God's got your
back, like it's not going to goall down the drain Right, even
(19:42):
when it seems like it.
Lily (19:43):
He's gonna like cover that up and you won't get sucked out
right, or even if it does, Ifeel like there are lots of
times in my life where it's likeI'm waiting for the phone call
and the phone call doesn't comeand I'm like, well, what's my
plan b?
Like I've had that before okayso it's.
Rhiannon (19:57):
I think it's cool having to sit and figure out
both ways of like okay, well,what helped you to accept the
plan b or like okay, that didn'twork out how I wanted it.
To how, what?
What was helpful for you?
Lily (20:11):
because I'm still trying to learn uh, well, you know now
that I'm a very mature 29, Ifeel like you are mature, you
have.
Rhiannon (20:23):
I I feel like you are mature now, you have.
Lily (20:25):
I feel like it's gotten slightly easier, because I just
feel like my life in general islike I make the plan and then
God says sorry, this is actuallythe plan.
So I think in the beginning Iwas very much like angry and
upset and just like why me andall of these negative emotions
(20:46):
towards god?
But at this point I'm like sohere's my plan, what do you
actually want me to do?
I still, I still get hurt, likeI still I still really grieve.
What I wanted, okay, but and Ithink that it's important to say
like it's okay to have wantedthese things, especially if they
(21:07):
are, you know, righteousdesires.
I think sometimes we haverighteous desires that just
aren't quote in line with hiswill, right, and so I think and
I think that's when it hurts themost is when you're like this
was a righteous desire and whyisn't it happening and but I
think, at least just in myexperience, it's like, yeah,
(21:27):
this sucks, okay, but I'm justgonna say I can do anything for
10 seconds and I'm just gonnamove forward and just like every
day, like, yeah, every 10seconds or every day, just be
like it's gonna be okay.
I'm just gonna take the nextstep, good, next step, and just,
you still feel the emotions,but I think it's you, you don't
get sucked in.
Yeah, and it's not just the notgetting sucked in, I think.
(21:49):
I think it's also, I guess, no,maybe it is.
I feel like it's directionalright, because I think us as
human beings, as a spirit.
We're a soul, right, we're aspirit and we're a body, and
part of that I am curious to seeif our spirits felt emotions.
I don't know, I feel like theywould right.
that's something I don't know Iwould think they might be less,
(22:12):
though, because of yeah yeah,well, and that's the thing that
I'm curious about, like with,with our bodies, you know, I'm
sure we feel, we just feel itmaybe a little more intensely.
Yeah, so I, I at least for me,I think, okay, it's natural to
feel anger, it's natural togrieve it's natural to feel
sadness, but it's the okay.
Am I gonna take this grief andthis anger and lash out at god?
(22:35):
Am?
I gonna take it and lash out atmyself am I gonna let it sit and
fester, take it on my children,my husband, my whatever right.
I think it's okay to say I amangry and I'm trying to get over
my anger.
Okay, I'm trying to get over mydisappointments but that
doesn't make it easy, right?
I don't know how helpful thatwas.
(22:55):
I don't feel like that was veryhelpful.
Rhiannon (22:57):
I think that was good to say, instead of always having
us so determined to have ourway, like this is my perfect
plan because ultimately, yeah,god's the omniscient, omnipotent
one who's right, planned forthousands upon thousands of eons
.
Lily (23:12):
Yeah, he's in advance for things, not ruin my plan, okay I
have planned this for amillennia I promise it's the
perfect thing for you right andso what you said, though, was
like okay, this is my plan, butis it yours?
Rhiannon (23:26):
like I just want to do what you want me to do, like
this is what I want, but I'mwilling to adapt and be flexible
.
Again, managing expectations,yeah and so.
Lily (23:34):
I've definitely had to learn to manage expectations.
Rhiannon (23:37):
That's the hardest thing, though it really is it's
true, but, um, yes, so withplans, yeah, just being, and
again, I guess going back forquick direct therapy is, yeah,
being adaptable, yeah, learninghow to do something a different
way.
Yeah, and uh, like BethanyHamilton, when you know, I don't
(24:01):
know if people remember, butshe's a soul surfer, yes, yeah,
so she was like a year olderthan me when this happened, so
it hit really close to home.
But she's this awesome surferliking to go pro yeah, accident
where a shark, a shark attack,yeah, bites off her arm.
So she only has one arm now.
Yeah, and she's trying tofunction and learn this of being
a teenager.
Yeah, I can't even imagine, andso, and she just I love her
(24:25):
exemplifying christ and likegiving it to him, like he's the
reason I've been, I've been ableto be courageous, and so she
has used her fame.
Like she went on, she adapted,yeah, she learned how to be
resilient and work with that, tokeep surfing, yeah and um, and
I think she's a mom now.
Lily (24:41):
Oh, oh yeah, she's got like three boys.
She has like all kinds ofthings.
Rhiannon (24:44):
Yeah, she does retreats for women with limb
differences and so, but againshe like uses that to testify of
Christ and how he supported her, because she's like this is not
my plan, I was going to go dothis.
And she went to do it anyway,but she's like more famous
because of that, because of that, so of that, because of that.
(25:06):
So, yeah, I just anyway.
So I love being able to seethat like, okay, here's your
plan.
It didn't work out, let's beresilient.
Yes, give it to God, don't getmad at him.
Right, ultimately, this is thebetter way readjust our
expectations.
Yeah um, so my other.
I have two more experiences.
Yeah, one was signing up my sonfor kindergarten and I'd prayed
about where to go.
He had two options, nearby bothwhich were great schools, and I
felt the one.
(25:27):
I was like okay.
So I got them all signed up andthen COVID hit and the world
shut down and I was like okay.
So randomly I was driving bylike in the summer, so that's
like kind of late in the gamefor registering kids for for
school, like you have to be onit in like january for any like
charter school, yeah, and stuff,yeah, charter, or even
(25:48):
preschool.
These days it's okay, january,oh, wow, okay, yeah, um.
And so I was driving by and itwas like uh, your son needs to
go to this other school instead.
I'm like, really like, becauseyou told me that this one, this
one first then, and I followedthat.
And then you know, two, threemonths later, it's like no,
god's like you need to send himhere, and I was like okay, so I
(26:11):
did.
It was a lottery system, so Ithought, well, if he gets in,
it's meant to be, if he doesn't.
It's not meant to be and hestill has the other school as
backup backup and so he got inand it's been a really good
placement for him and no oneelse in our area goes to that
(26:31):
school, yeah, so we're kind ofjust like okay again.
Something my husband and I'vetalked about a lot is like doing
what's correct for you and yourfamily and what God has
intended for you, rather thantrying to look at what everyone
else is doing like oh well,they're doing this, so then we
should adopt that too.
Right, no Not necessarily Right, and so that's been like, okay,
we're going to kind of be theoddball out here, yeah, and do
(26:53):
that.
So I just that's been a verydistinctive memory and
experience for me.
And then one time so I reallylike being a mom, but it's been
really trying sometimes, and soone day I was in the basement
(27:15):
and my kids were playing andthey were still pretty young,
but anyway, I was just having ahorrible day and I was depressed
and I was like I hatemotherhood, like I'm such a bad
mom to them and I just was sodown on myself so I was like
hiding under a and I just like,and I just was praying in my
(27:37):
heart and in my head.
I'm like god, I'm so sorry, likeI wanted to be better for them
so much because they are suchprecious little angels and they
teach you so much.
But it's hard and I just waslike they deserve better and
anyway.
So I said amen, and then,literally probably five seconds
later, my son comes and opens upthe blanket and looks at me,
(27:57):
said you're a good mom, and Ijust started bawling, and so
that just is.
Like God is aware and my kidsare aware, and like I think
that's one thing I've gainedfrom, and I tell them all the
time I'm like, ok, I love you,and I have emotions too, though,
and so please like, forgive mewhen I mess up, when I'm not as
(28:22):
patient as I need to be, when Isnap at you, right, like I am
still learning, like, andespecially with him, he's my
firstborn.
And I'm like, hey, you're likewe're in this together as new.
I've never done this before.
You're my first, so, but I'vejust been.
I think it's been reallyhealthy to be open and honest,
because I feel like a fewgenerations or even just one
generation ago it was very likeyou stifle your emotions you're
(28:45):
suppressed, just deal with it.
Don't talk to your kids aboutwhat you're experiencing.
You're just supposed to kind ofbe the rock and yeah, but it's
really helpful for them to belike, oh yeah, like my parents
are people too and yeah, theymess up and they apologize like
right I.
So I always, always try to makesure I reconcile with my kids
after I've screwed up yeah, I'mlike I'm sorry, that was not
(29:09):
okay to do that.
It was okay I was upset, butwhat I did with that and the way
I reacted or responded was nothelpful so well.
Lily (29:16):
I think that that's you modeling the gospel of jesus
christ in your home right.
It's you showing them.
You know, I have to repent too.
Yep, I have to say I'm sorrytoo.
And I think that that's reallypowerful, because when things
like that come from a trustedadult, I think it has a lot more
impact on them.
Rhiannon (29:33):
Oh yeah, I grew up viewing my parents as kind of
superheroes.
You know they can fix everyproblem that you bring to them.
Do no wrong.
Yeah, do no wrong.
Well, kind of, but yeah, like,yeah, like more like.
Oh, they don't mess up as badlyas I do, like they still kind
of like make little mistakes,yeah, you know, but they're like
they got it all together andright.
But as you age, and especially,I think, in the teenage years
(29:55):
and then in the young adultyears, and then, like after you
get married and have kids ofyour own, you're like, whoa,
like, my parents are people too,and I have to kind of adjust
that viewpoint.
I just think that's such aninteresting transformation.
Yeah, because you're now likemore on their equal.
They're no longer this like Ialways think older people and
more authority figures have moreweight in their opinions and
(30:17):
ideas right than me, and that'snot a correct way to say things.
Yeah, um, and so having thatloving stewardship of being able
to see, oh yeah, my mom neededto repent today yeah and I
forgave her, which they are sogood at forgiving I know, I
don't know how kids do it.
Oh my goodness, bless their,bless their hearts, literally
(30:37):
like they, yeah, yeah, you'relike, oh my gosh, thank you,
yeah, with all that just beingopen and honest and genuine, I
think is boiling it down Likebeing genuine with your kids
about your emotions, yourexperiences and owning to when
you mess up and beingaccountable, right, because then
that helps them say, oh okay,if they're doing that, I can do
(31:00):
it too, right, and everyonemesses up and makes mistakes.
It's not just a kid thing,because it can get really
discouraging for them.
Like I always do this or thisnever works out.
I'm like, no, let's not use allor nothing language.
Like you have to recognize, andI would say how many more years
of practice on this skill do Ihave than you?
A lot, a lot, and I'm still notgood at it.
(31:26):
Yeah, right, yeah.
Sometimes I'm like, okay, well,you're already better than this
thing and you're this old andI'm never gonna get to your
level because that's just yourforte and strength and I'm okay
with that, yeah, um and so yeah,just being to able to recognize
and nurture and provide thatatmosphere of healthy emotional
expression, right, so, um, yeahdo you feel like we should do
(31:51):
that with people we're aroundtoo, like with it with other
friends?
Lily (31:56):
being genuine, yeah, I feel like I was just thinking
about that.
I think a lot of the times wehave this really weird dynamic
in our culture now where mentalhealth is so prevalent and so
big and so known and everybodytalks about it, but I still feel
like people don't talk thatmakes sense like how often do we
like we might say oh I'm, youknow I have this thing going on
(32:18):
and you might go see a therapist, but how often do you really
confide in your friends?
yeah, or how often do you reallyI don, I don't know like reach
out and discuss those reallyhard things with each other?
I don't know, I don't know ifthat's, maybe I'm off base.
Rhiannon (32:35):
No, I think.
I think obviously it's like withanything, this is a deep part
of you and you're saying like Ihave a problem right now and a
lot of people don't want to saywhen they have problems because
it's hard to admit that yeah,and there's a lot of like shame,
guilt, judgment, fear ofrejection.
There's a lot wrapped up in it.
But, as I was telling a familymember who's going through some
(33:00):
hard mental health stuff andI've kind of shared my journey
with depression and I'm like themore people I kind of just not
necessarily laid out in the open, but I'm like, oh yeah, like I
struggle with this too, or thisis what's going on with me right
now.
I think it does deepenrelationships, for sure, to open
up, but again, do you have togo tell that to every single
(33:22):
person in the world?
No right time and a place anddetermining who you're okay with
sharing with, who you knowyou're gonna be treated with
respect and support, right, um,but I think obviously the more
people you tell, the more peopleyou can just have on your team
and praying for you or cheeringfor you or sending you good
vibes, and so, while it isreally uncomfortable, it
(33:45):
definitely, I think, opens thedoor for other people to be like
oh wait, she, she struggleswith that.
No, yeah, she's.
She's so good, though, likeshe's so again we put people on
pedestals, or their lifestylesor choices, and then we realize
like, oh, like they have crap.
No, people too yeah, yeah and um, so just yeah, being genuine
(34:10):
and authentic and, I think,trying to use the spirit as a
guide of them, like, okay, Ishould open up to this person
about this, because maybethey're needing to hear right
about your struggle and alsobeing willing to listen to
others, right, but havingboundaries of like.
I want you to share this withme, but I don't know if I want
to know, like every, everyeverything.
Yeah, Because then that can.
(34:31):
I'm a very empathetic person,and so I'm like oh my gosh that
can be really weighty.
I need to help them because Ijust take on that charge and I
have to remember, like JesusChrist already has got it taken
care of.
He's the ultimate healer, he'sthe only one who can ultimately
reach them and help them.
That is not your job.
You can support, you can pray,you can help, you can show love,
(34:52):
but it is not up to you toquote, unquote fix them, because
even Christ isn't fixing them.
He's helping them to transform,to change their own hearts, to
change and find the mentalcapacity, the spiritual
perspective, the physicalcapability to deal with whatever
they have in God's plan forthem to grow Right and progress.
(35:14):
So yeah, it's so.
That's my thought on that.
That was really powerful.
What?
Lily (35:21):
you just said right there, I gave you goosebumps.
Okay, that was really cool,that was great.
Rhiannon (35:24):
Yeah, because we do often.
I don't know, maybe otherpeople are better at that, but I
feel you know we're taught andthis is a big proponent of our
church and the gospel of JesusChrist is to help others, to
serve them, to make sacrifices.
Yeah, but that comes at a costsometimes, and I think it's
important to also put boundarieson saying no and like I can't
(35:45):
do that right now.
And it's okay to say no, yeah,it's okay to.
Okay, I'm going to have toshare an experience.
But I wasn't planning on sharingAnyway, but being able to,
because again the Savior hadboundaries.
He went and rejuvenated himselfand took time to be alone with
the Father and to recoup.
(36:06):
Because you know, justministering and serving other
people takes a lot out of youand you think on like the level
he was doing, of the miracles ofblindness and leprosy, and you
know there's obviously mentalstuff in there too, but a lot of
the ones we hear are about ourphysical.
(36:27):
I can only imagine having thatpower and virtue given to heal
and help other people, and hehadn't even experienced and
undergone the atonement yet yeahand I just was like, oh my gosh
.
So I remember two things thatcame to mind.
Hopefully, then, we're done.
Um, so in college is where Ihad my really big wave of
(36:54):
depression, but I didn't realizethat's quite what it was when
that very first hit.
And then later I was like, ohyeah, that was that's it.
And my parents were awesome,super supportive, but I remember
having this like this is theimage I can describe with
depression is you're in the verybottom of this super dark, deep
well and it is so far down thatother people from the top might
(37:18):
be trying to reach out and helpyou, but they they can't and,
like I, just you're like layinglike face down, like just
surrounded by darkness, and thenthe savior extends his hand and
he holds it, but he doesn'tgrab your hand.
He is waiting for you to reachout, which sometimes is so hard
(37:39):
like I have had multipleexperiences where I'm in that
spiral or that wallowing and I'mlike, no, I don't want to, I
don't want to change, I don'twant to have to get up and try
again.
I just want to lay here and andbe loathing and just, yeah, not
not keep going.
And then, but as soon as I makethat switch, that decision, to
(38:01):
say okay, I'm, I'm going toreach out, and he's only asking
you to like move an inch orsomething like just raise your
arm, that's all I'm asking youto do, and then he's the one
that pulls you out the rest ofthe way out of the well.
But that's just been and maybeI can make that into some sort
of art image or something,because that's again, it's only
(38:25):
his power that can truly reachus but it we have to do our part
, we have to reach out right.
There has to be action on ourend, too right for his grace to
take effect on our lives.
So, and then my last one is, um.
So I got to work with a reallyamazing woman and she was the
release society president of our, which is just the leader of
(38:47):
the women 18 years and older,and she had no clue who I was
and she called me as herassistant secretary.
Now we had other positions thatwere more common, like there's a
first and second counselor andthey just provide support to the
president and they kind oftheir different roles.
And a secretary Right, why isthe assistant secretary?
So I was this random additiontacked on.
(39:07):
I'm like I don't even know whatI'm doing here and I remember
meeting her for the first time.
She's like, oh, I had no ideawho you were, but your name just
kind of jumped out on the listof possibilities.
I'm like, okay, here we go.
Yeah, so we were workingtogether and doing things and
then guess what, covid hit again, um, and she went through some
(39:28):
medical stuff, and so we're like, is she gonna like step down?
But she was playing on, keepinggoing, um, and then she, she
and Bishop were like no, likeit's someone else's turn yeah
and my name came up, so Iremember.
Um, so our Bishop is just theleader of our little local
(39:51):
congregation and so, again, Ireally hadn't ever talked to him
.
We'd only been in the ward areaof congregation for like a year
, yeah.
And so he came to our housewith a little mask on and in the
middle of summer, and he's likehey, we want to extend this
calling to you to be the nextpresident.
And I was all excuse me what'sgoing on and so I I remember
(40:13):
saying I'm gonna have to reallypray and think about this for
myself, because usually a bigteaching in our church is like
you just accept a callingbecause it's the lord extending
it to you from bishop or rightand so um.
But I was like I had to.
I kind of went through the fivestages of grace yeah, like I'm
like, why are you, you know?
(40:33):
Anger denial, sadness, like Iwas like oh my gosh.
And then finally acceptance,like I was praying in my bed one
night and I'm like I need toaccept this calling.
So here I was super young, allmy counselors were older than me
.
Yeah, I think at the time Iwent through a few anyway.
So here we go, like figuringthis unprecedented time out for
(40:58):
leading women who I can't evenlike go visit in their homes,
which is what a typical likethat was a big would be a big
part is visiting and ministeringand loving these sisters.
We'll have to do that withoutbeing able to be there in person
.
But we had a lot of porch sidechats and a lot of phone calls
and FaceTimes and Zooms andtexting, like there are still
(41:19):
some women that I talked to butnever met and they moved out
like it.
It was just a very unique time,yeah, anyway.
So that went by, we werechugging along and um, we're
like over a year later and Istart to feel myself crack.
(41:41):
And that was really hard for mebecause I'm very duty bound, I
am responsible, I want to makesure I'm kind of a people
pleaser we're working on that tobe healthy but I don't want to
let people down.
I want to meet what's expectedof me and I remember we were
(42:02):
meeting with the other adultleaders and what's called ward
council and then we had like atiny 30 minute break before our
church meetings began and I wentto the bathroom and I just
sobbed because I felt sooverwhelmed, so burdened, so
stretched out and drained andthat happened for a few times
and I started thinking I don'tthink that's what's supposed to
(42:25):
be happening.
And so I remember sitting in oneof our temples, which is just a
sacred building that you haveto get a recommend into and meet
certain standards that they askyou about your testimony
worthiness to enter, and therewas a painting of christ calming
the storm when he's on the boatin the sea of galilee and
(42:47):
everyone's like master cares,though not that we perish and
he's standing there, you know,just so peaceful, and I thought
he can calm your storm.
So I thought, okay, I got this,like I'm gonna keep going,
because typically you would bein for three years before the
next person would take over.
Well, that was not going to bethe case for me.
So, yeah, I really grappledwith this decision, like I kept
(43:11):
thinking and trying andpersevering and pushing and it
just was not cutting it.
And so I remember talking withBishop, because we would meet um
a couple times a month and justhim and me to talk about the
sisters and what's going on andhow to love and again, keep
ministering and serving them andsupporting, and not just
(43:32):
spiritually but physically,emotionally, mentally.
And I was like, bishop, I thinkwe might need to start looking
at calling someone else.
And he's like you know what?
Let's have you churn on that.
You know, like an ice creammachine churns, yeah, and it
takes some time.
So he's like let's churn onthat.
And then I get a text from himduring sacrament meeting saying
we're gonna meet after churchtoday.
(43:52):
You're done churning.
And I'm like, okay, wow, um,yeah, so it's uh, spoke to both
of you yeah.
so he and my in-laws were intown randomly and staying with
us at this time.
So I'm like, hey, honey, to myhusband, like I got to meet with
Bishop, and he's always like,yep, go do your thing, he's so
amazing that way.
So then we sat in his officethat was his last interview of
(44:15):
the day and with our bishops.
They're volunteers, so theydon't get compensated.
This, so they don't getcompensated, this is not their
full-time job.
He has a full-time job.
He has a family of his own.
He has other responsibilities.
He's trying to balance yep in ain conjunction with this.
So here, he's been gone from hisfamily like all day long.
He's been at church, he's metwith other people yeah, it's the
end of the day, like he's readyto go home, but he was taking
(44:37):
the time to meet with me.
Yeah, and we sat there and Iwas just bawling for 45 minutes
straight and we're trying tothink about okay, if you stay,
what comes up for you, if youdecide to leave, what comes up
for you?
And he's like God's not lettingme have the answer, like this
has got to come from you,rhiannon.
I said okay.
So I finally just took a deepbreath and calmed myself and a
(45:02):
distinct voice said I'm done,I'm done.
I said I'm done, bishop.
He said that's it OK.
And it was a huge wave of peaceand relief for me and because I
also worried like what arepeople going to think?
Like I couldn't hack it andbecause I also worried like what
(45:23):
are people going?
to think Like I couldn't hack it.
So a lot of justself-recriminating thoughts and
worries about what other peoplewere going to deem as a bad
choice, yeah, and so I walkedout of there and I was like you
know what?
That's okay.
I've done what God needed me todo and it was enough.
Lily (45:39):
Right.
Rhiannon (45:40):
I was enough to do and it was enough.
Right, I was enough.
And for me to try to keeppushing and acting like I can do
this and not, and shutting down, avoiding, right, letting
things drop, that's not gonna befair to Bishop, that's not
gonna be fair to the sisters,right, they're both not getting
the love and support they need.
So it's okay to pass the torchor baton, so to speak.
And then our wonderful, sweet,um, current release day
(46:04):
president was selected and thatwas also cool to, yeah, be able
to be part of that becausebishop consulted me.
He's like who do you think itshould be?
Um, and she's been doingawesome and she's who we needed.
But I just a lot of people.
I was really worried about whatpeople were gonna think after
that and no one, at least to myface, said anything like why
(46:29):
couldn't you just stick it out,like come on, it's not that hard
, or like you weren't in forvery long, yeah, um, everyone
just was like, oh, like, thankyou so much, like you were great
and my one person that I didn'tknow even that well, but now
we're more friends.
Lily (46:47):
She was like.
Rhiannon (46:48):
I was like really impressed that you did that,
like that was that took somecourage and guts, yeah, and to
say I can't do this anymore andso, and not that like any of
their opinions should validate,like oh, oh, yeah, because other
people said this it was theright thing to do.
But like I'm like hey, god, inthe words of Joseph Smith, I
(47:10):
knew it and I, god knew and Iknew that, god knew it and I
could not deny it right.
So that's my big like yes, wewant to serve in our callings
and be in the roles that godneeds us to be, but please don't
feel like expectations or likeculture, um kind of traditions
(47:33):
like oh this is how long you'rein for and you always do this
needs to be how you live yourlife, because, ultimately, it's
god's plan for you, right, andhe's looking out for you.
He knows your limits, he knowsyour strengths and your gifts,
and so he's ultimately whoshould be directing and
influencing your life and yourdecisions yeah and so, yep, the
(47:56):
savior is totally helping me somuch through that calling and
helped me since and he alwayswill be there, and so I'm just
really grateful that he's, um,loved me enough to die for me
and to suffer for all the things.
Not only that like I experienced, because that's just life, but
(48:16):
also like the pain and sufferingI've caused for other people.
Like thank you so much formaking up for that and and
redeeming me from my mess upsfor other people, because I'm
like, yeah, crap can happen tome, that's hard and thank you
for supporting me, but I feellike that's the real part of his
atonement and redemption andgrace is like thank you for
(48:39):
helping me have a clean slateevery day and every week when I
partake of the sacrament.
Thank you for helping me feellike I can be clean and worthy
and I can keep going and I'mstill loved and I can keep
serving and you're going to workwith me and never leave me, and
I say that in the name of JesusChrist Amen.
Lily (49:00):
Amen.
Thank you, Rhiannon, for yourtime tonight.
We really appreciate it.
Rhiannon (49:03):
You're welcome.
Lily (49:06):
Thanks again for tuning into More Than Coincidence
Remembering Jesus Christ in yourStory.
Please follow us on socialmedia or share us with a friend.
If you have an experience you'dlike to share, feel free to
reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhim at gmailcom.
I can't wait to hear all of theamazing memories you all have
(49:26):
of our Savior.
See you next time.
Hello everyone and welcome to, more Than Coincidence,
remembering Jesus Christ in yourStory.
As the author and finisher ofour faith, our Savior writes
personal experiences into eachof our lives which can later
strengthen, empower and bring uspeace upon reflection.
This podcast is dedicated tosharing these anchoring memories
(00:26):
from everyone's unique storiesin order to collectively
remember and testify of thereality of Jesus Christ and his
presence in our lives.
I'm your host, lily, and I'mvery excited to share these
experiences together.
Okay, so tonight we haveRhiannon.
Thanks for joining us.
Rhiannon (00:45):
Yeah, I'm happy to be here.
Will you introduce yourself?
Sure, I've kind of been bornand raised in Utah but I got to
live yoga and connect withnature and piano and art and
(01:08):
trying to decrease my sugarintake because I eat way too
much, but I just really feel thesame with that, like I probably
should reduce my sugar intake,but we're doing no gluten right
now, so I'm like one thing at atime, absolutely there's so many
things these days, but yeah, Ijust, I love having the
mountains nearby and fourseasons, like I just anyway.
Lily (01:29):
So it's awesome, yeah, sweet.
Well, rhiannon, um, and I'lljust.
I guess we'll just get startedthen.
So what memories do you havethat you reflect on in your life
, that prick your heart inremembrance of our savior Jesus
Christ?
Rhiannon (01:43):
so I was having to kind of like have everything
coalesce into one, because I waslike, well, it's the Holy Ghost
that, like, has prompted me todo certain things, but then it's
God orchestrating it.
But then, like, christ is likethere with me in my journey.
So I was trying to make surethat all kind of came together,
because we, as members of theChurch of Jesus Christ of
(02:03):
Latter-day Saints, do believe ina Godhead, but that they are
three separate beings, and so Ithink, being able to make the
distinction that they areseparate but they have different
roles, but they are a team andsupport each other, was, like
what really helped me.
Like, okay, yeah, like this isJesus Christ in my story but he
also has God and the Holy Ghostall implementing that.
(02:27):
That's awesome, okay, well, yeah.
So I think the theme I wouldsay for mine is trusting in god,
uh, when you can't see the nextstep.
And so I'm a planner and Ireally like knowing exactly what
I'm doing.
I look at things in advance Ijust like to be prepared well.
I've had some times in my life,obviously where that's gone off
the tracks or I have no ideawhat I'm supposed to do.
(02:51):
So the first one was in collegeI was like okay, here we go,
freshman year, I'm gonna dophysical therapy, like that's
what I decided to do.
I like to help people, um, andthat just really appealed to me,
and so I was like okay.
So freshman's first semesterwas great.
Second semester, however, Istarted chem 105 and that became
(03:11):
the bane of my existence and Inot only had to do it Monday,
wednesday, friday for class,like sitting in lecture, but
then I had lab the labs Tuesdaysand Thursdays.
That's intense, yeah.
And so it was like okay, and Ionly a godsend was my home
teacher, who that just meansthat the church groups in the
(03:37):
area around the college are puttogether based on geographic, so
like different congregationsare together geographically, and
so then they're saying, hey,will you kind of watch over and
help out and pray for thisperson right?
and so that person was a good,became one of my good friends
and was my chemistry tutor andhelped me all the time and
(03:58):
without him I would not havepassed.
so, um, bless his heart, I am sograteful and so anyway.
So I thought, okay, I made itthrough, I had the summer break
and I thought I can do with chem106 in four months.
Well, first day of class I satthere.
As soon as it ended I realizedI cannot do this again.
There is no way, because thenafter chem 106 would come, I
think, two physics classes, yeah, and I just thought there is no
(04:21):
way.
So then at that point I kind ofreally hit a low point and like
the biggest depression wave inmy life, yeah, because I thought
I now have no direction.
I don't know what I'm doinghere.
I have no ties, I have norelationship Right, I know I'm
only a sophomore, but you knowdating at that time and so I was
honestly consideringtransferring schools because I
(04:43):
yeah, I just was.
I had I schools, because I yeah,I just was.
I had.
I remember getting the majorlist and I just kept crossing
off a selection after selection,like there's nothing appealing,
that's boring, that's totallyout of my league, right.
And then I remember talking tomy mom about oh, I want to
transfer over to this communitycollege because they have a
physical therapy assistingprogram.
Yeah, and she said, rhiannon, Ijust feel like you need to stay
(05:05):
there, something is waitingthere for you.
And I was like, all right, mama.
Well, she is super in tune withthe spirit.
And so just a few weeks later Ifound recreational therapy,
which is a new modality thatkind of came out in the 80s, but
it helps with leisure education.
So someone's gone through like atraumatic accident, right kind
(05:28):
of think wheelchairautomatically, but you also work
with all different populations,right?
Eating disorders anddevelopmental disabilities.
What's it called?
Lily (05:39):
yeah, it really could be like anything.
Rhiannon (05:41):
Prisoners.
Lily (05:42):
Yeah, incarcerated.
Rhiannon (05:43):
Yeah, anyway, so, and it's amazing there's so many
applications to it, anyway, yeah.
So I went and talked to.
I was like what is this?
I went and talked to myprofessor or sorry, a professor.
I remember walking in and therehe was in a wheelchair and I
thought, okay, this is.
I felt so self-conscious andnervous and so I said, just tell
(06:04):
me about TR.
And he shared his story of.
He was this 14-year-old inIdaho, super outdoorsy kid, just
constantly outside Right.
Well, his friend was climbingover a fence after he had
crossed it, holding a shotgun,and it went off and hit my
professor in the back andparalyzed him.
(06:25):
So here he is is total lack ofidentity, just robbed, gone
right and he said I had no ideahow I was going to function, I
had nothing to live for anymoreyeah and then he was introduced
by a friend or an associate toarchery and tying arrows himself
, and getting involved in thiscompetition and he said that was
(06:46):
my lifeline, that's what pulledme out.
So so I was like, well,obviously I want to participate
in this, like this sounds soincredible.
Yeah, and so I found my major.
So thanks god, thanks mom, Istuck it out there and it was
great.
And then I also ended up upmeeting a guy and we dated and
(07:06):
we ended up getting married.
So he was also there waiting forme, so I thought I'd stuck it
out and just said, okay, likewe'll just finish the semester
and see where it goes.
And then things unfolded.
So that was example one.
Oh shoot, okay, I do have to goback to chemistry real quick,
though, okay, so in I was takinga Book of Mormon class at the
(07:28):
same time and my two friendswere sitting on either side of
me and they had heard my rantsand woes of chemistry and how
hard it was.
Yeah.
So then I distinctly rememberthe exact phrase my teacher used
.
I don't know what he wastalking about.
All of a sudden he said myfriend, if you need help with
chemistry, you've got to ask forit, and immediately the teacher
(07:49):
said that yes like justaddressing everyone, but then I,
I got that and I like never saton the front row, yeah, and so
immediately on either side, bothfriends nudged me with their
elbows like hey that was for youso I thought, okay, like okay,
so yeah, that that was powerful.
So that's actually really cool,yeah, and I I did ask for help
(08:12):
and I did get it and you got it,I passed.
So, yeah, my lowest grade ever,but that's okay, like it still
worked.
Lily (08:19):
Did you ever get a chance to work in recreational therapy
doing that kind of stuff, or doyou think you'd want to go back
and do it again?
Rhiannon (08:26):
I got to work with um women women and girls with
eating disorders, yeah, and umkids with developmental
disabilities, and um andadaptive camps at rec recreation
centers and so, yeah, it's beenreally awesome.
We'll see if I work with it inthe future after my kids are
(08:46):
kind of more on their own.
Lily (08:48):
But do you feel like, um, doing that line of work helping
give others hope was kind oflike something that helped fill
your bucket?
It's almost like the thing thatwhen you were hopeless, it was
given to you to do just likethis thing is was given to other
people when they felt hopeless.
I don't know like, I just kindof feel like that's an
interesting connection.
So do you?
Rhiannon (09:08):
totally, because so much of you know.
People go through work and whatare you living for?
The weekend your leisureactivities, right, and so with
like addiction ones.
I feel like this can be appliedto everyone, because what is an
addiction?
It's a negative coping strategy, and that's a big problem that
a lot of people have with,especially with all the mental
illness these days.
(09:30):
Um, your coping strategies areeither gonna help you and
support you and be a healthything or they're gonna be
destructive and harmful, and soI feel like I was introduced to
concepts and you know we took apsychology class and how to
assess things and whatnot.
But yeah, definitely I thinkit's.
(09:52):
It does provide hope andhealing and again something to
find joy in for people, in forpeople.
So I look forward to yeah, whenthings have been hard and okay,
instead of going and I workedat an internship for the women
and girls with eating disordersand so like that was.
(10:13):
It is an addiction, like that'show they are handling the
pressures of life.
It's not about the food.
That is the result of themtrying to control something and
find a way to deal with all thewaves of emotions and and
stresses right, and so beingable to say hey look, you should
try doing art, or let's gosnowshoeing, or let's do gosh.
(10:37):
I'm trying to think of someother things, but let's find an
alternative for you to pick whenyou're feeling that, instead of
reverting, okay, so that's.
Lily (10:46):
That's kind of what your role was.
Then was someone I don't wantto say to help them find a hobby
, but help them find likesomething meaningful, to like
take their to cut, to help copeand take their mind off of
things and to focus, like themental, emotional, physical,
spiritual somewhere else.
Rhiannon (11:02):
Yeah, right, absolutely yeah, and that was
actually like the definition,and my professor would be kind
of disappointed me, but he wouldlike snap his fingers.
We'd all raise our hands.
We'd say recreational therapyis the modality of helping and
the physical, spiritual, mental,emotional, something, something
anyway I have the gist.
But so yes, and the the otherthing I was gonna say about it
(11:24):
is um, it can also be a lot ofthe rehabilitation part yeah and
so an example my professorshared is like, okay, if you're
dealing with traumatic braininjury and you have left neglect
, where you're at, your righthemisphere is damaged so you
can't see your peripheral visionis cut off he's like okay, well
, instead of like here, let's dothese eye exercises, which can
(11:46):
get boring, or I?
Don't know what other things?
But there is a place forphysical and occupational, like
everything is needed.
This is just an additional likeyeah, well, maybe something a
little more fun yes, so it'ssomething to engage in that you
don't realize you're doing workas much.
And so he's like oh, if they'relike, you have them, use their
left hand to be painting andyou're slowly shifting over
(12:08):
where they dip their brush.
So subconsciously their brainis getting retrained, but
they're not having to like,recognize, like they're not in
that.
Lily (12:16):
They're consciously see that.
Rhiannon (12:17):
Yes, whoa, that's cool yeah, just stuff like that.
And then there's just, there'sjust so much available out there
for people, because it used tobe like, oh, if I can't walk
again life's over.
I'm like, oh my gosh, there'sso many resources for people
with spinal cord injuries andright, it's incredible.
I'm like, oh, you're good, likeI promise you there's tons of
(12:39):
stuff.
Lily (12:39):
Well, so then I guess.
Sorry, I have one last questionyeah, you're good, I think this
is cool.
So what would you say then?
Because my thought immediatelywent to.
You know, there are a lot ofpeople out there who are
struggling with mental health orjust life stressors because
life is really crazy right now,yes, it is.
Rhiannon (12:54):
We're just going to say that it is.
Our world is.
Lily (12:57):
It's chaos.
So then, what would you?
You would then be a bigadvocate for people finding
something like a hobby orsomething like a community to go
out and try and, I don't know,maybe learn something new, or
yes, I don't know, so like what?
What would you do?
You have any things that youspecifically like to do, that
you would say you should try?
Rhiannon (13:17):
this um, I am a big proponent of connecting with
nature.
I mean, that's been, you know,centuries as old as time you
know adam and eve in the gardenof eden yeah, but something
about nature just connects youwith the divine, and if you're
not a believer in god, it'sstill a spiritual experience.
Yeah, so being able to just dothat, whether that's like I'm
(13:40):
just gonna sit barefoot in mybackyard, surrounded- by all our
other.
Lily (13:43):
Like feeling the sun, because sometimes I feel like
that feels so good when you justsit there and you're like I'm
just gonna absorb vitamin d yeah, um I know mindfulness is a big
popular topic, right?
Rhiannon (13:55):
now but it really does help your brain and, just you
know, getting in tune with yourbody right.
Just again, exploring differentmodalities, like you said,
trying a new thing, like oh, I'mgonna go take like a pottery
class or I'm gonna go, um, Idon't know, paddling a canoe
honestly, youtube's such a goodresource.
Lily (14:15):
I learned to crochet from YouTube yeah, you just type in
like I want to crochet a snake,and that's what I did.
There's some people have theseawesome videos that you can just
follow and stuff, so I wouldsay I would advocate for YouTube
too.
Youtube's really good.
If you want to learn oh,absolutely Learn how to do
haircuts that way?
Rhiannon (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, no, it's.
It's honestly such a good toolfor using that to help jumpstart
a new hobby or interest.
And again, it's not like sayingit's just about a hobby is so
far from the truth, like it goesso much deeper right and again.
It's an identity thing, it's awhat you look forward to thing,
(14:52):
it's a social aspect with whoyou connect with or share that
gift with um and so, yeah, justtrying, and my husband's awesome
and he's been so supportive andsaying, hey, go find what, like
what rejuvenates your soul.
That's a question I ask a lotof people is what rejuvenates
your soul?
And at first they're like, oh,just spiritual.
I'm like, no, no, like whatjust like fills you, like what
(15:14):
is something that just resonates?
Yeah, and it's reallyinteresting to see some of the
answers they give and otherpeople I don't really know.
I'm like okay, well, like go seeif you can like get again.
You have to kind of go deep andget in tune with yourself and
say what right, what do I wantto try, or what have I never
done before, or what you I usedto hate and like give that a go
(15:34):
again.
Lily (15:35):
I don't know right right, or just try different things and
just be like, okay, what can I,what can I do?
Because I think even sometimesyou try doing something and
you're like, oh, this is kind ofweird.
But once you kind of get thehang of it, you're like, oh yeah
, like this is reallyinteresting.
And this is kind of kind of howI felt with crocheting.
I was like this is such an oldlady thing.
But once I do it now, like youhave your cute little snake and
you're like, oh, my gosh, it's alittle snake and my kids
(15:55):
absolutely love it, right like,so all these.
Rhiannon (15:57):
I don't know and it is fun at the end, but you're like
I did that yeah so, and my lastthing on that is give yourself
some grace when you're tryingsomething new.
Like set yourself up to say I'mgoing to fail at this, like I'm
not going to be perfect orsuccessful the very first time,
like I'm trying skateboardingright now.
It is really hard.
Are you really?
Yeah, oh my gosh, I didn't knowthat.
(16:17):
Yeah, I went and like, went toDI Desert Industries, which is
just a thrift store.
Lily (16:23):
Yeah, yeah.
Rhiannon (16:25):
P DI Desert Industries , which is just a thrift store,
and picked up a skateboard andfor 15 bucks and I'm like,
alright, here we go, and Istrapped on my that is so cool
gear because I'm like I'm notbreaking a wrist, or no, really,
though, about doing this andyeah so.
But because I already went inwith that expectation of, yeah,
I'm gonna fall, like this isgonna take some time to build up
.
It's been so helpful, so again,yeah, that's for across the
(16:49):
board.
For any new thing like, okay,I'm learning this, this is all
new to me, I've never done thisbefore, and that just helps you
stick with it and not getfrustrated, not get into that
down world.
Lily (17:02):
The spiral, yeah, and sets expectation like realistic
expectations exactly sweet yeah,oh awesome well, what's your?
Rhiannon (17:09):
what's your next thing ?
You?
Have another yeah, so then,with getting my internship?
Um, so this is near the end ofmy college career, so it's
supposed to be.
Your last semester was spent injust your internship.
You couldn't take any otherclasses it had to be just this,
and so, um, I remember trying tofigure out which population I
wanted to work with.
At-risk youth was one that wasnot my.
(17:31):
I am not a like, tough lovelike you are very nurturing.
Yeah, so it was, I went andvolunteered one day and these
girls like got into like a tinyminor fight.
I'm like I I can't do this,yeah, confrontation's not your
thing.
And so.
I was like, oh, maybe I'll try.
Like eating disorders, I knewnothing other than you know the
(17:53):
basics of anorexia and bulimiakind of talked about in health
class in middle school.
And so I went to two differentinterviews, both of which did
not occur with the person I'd bedirectly under who would be?
my boss because she kept havingfamily emergencies, and so I had
the two interviews and then Ihadn't heard anything.
(18:13):
And it was the days werecounting down in the semester.
We had three days to go tillfinals, and then it was winter
break and then your internship,yeah, and I was sitting in class
with all my other cohorts andor my cohort, all my other
classmates, and everyone wastalking about how excited they
were for their differentexperiences and where they were
(18:33):
going to go and who they weregoing to work with.
And here I was sitting,panicking like in sheer.
What am I going to do?
I had no backup plan.
Yeah, I had no idea what Icould even fill during that time
.
Am I going to get kicked?
out Like what's going to happen.
I'm not going to graduate withmy cohort and I just remember
panicking and worrying andstressing.
And so then I go home that dayto my little 400 square foot
(18:57):
student center block apartmentand I was doing some little art
project.
And then I get a call.
And it's my future boss, um,from the eating disorder clinic,
and she says, hi, is thisRihanna?
And I said yeah, and she said,oh, this is so, and so we'd like
to offer you the internshipposition.
I said are you?
serious and she said um, yes.
And I said oh no, yes, yes,I'll take it, thank you, thank
(19:19):
you yeah, and I was.
I hung up, the phone was justecstatic and.
I really hope I said a prayer ofgratitude to God at that point,
but I don't remember if I did,but I was just so relieved, yeah
, and all that worry and stresswas not necessary, and so that
was just a testament to me to belike Rhiannon God's got your
back, like it's not going to goall down the drain Right, even
(19:42):
when it seems like it.
Lily (19:43):
He's gonna like cover that up and you won't get sucked out
right, or even if it does, Ifeel like there are lots of
times in my life where it's likeI'm waiting for the phone call
and the phone call doesn't comeand I'm like, well, what's my
plan b?
Like I've had that before okayso it's.
Rhiannon (19:57):
I think it's cool having to sit and figure out
both ways of like okay, well,what helped you to accept the
plan b or like okay, that didn'twork out how I wanted it.
To how, what?
What was helpful for you?
Lily (20:11):
because I'm still trying to learn uh, well, you know now
that I'm a very mature 29, Ifeel like you are mature, you
have.
Rhiannon (20:23):
I I feel like you are mature now, you have.
Lily (20:25):
I feel like it's gotten slightly easier, because I just
feel like my life in general islike I make the plan and then
God says sorry, this is actuallythe plan.
So I think in the beginning Iwas very much like angry and
upset and just like why me andall of these negative emotions
(20:46):
towards god?
But at this point I'm like sohere's my plan, what do you
actually want me to do?
I still, I still get hurt, likeI still I still really grieve.
What I wanted, okay, but and Ithink that it's important to say
like it's okay to have wantedthese things, especially if they
(21:07):
are, you know, righteousdesires.
I think sometimes we haverighteous desires that just
aren't quote in line with hiswill, right, and so I think and
I think that's when it hurts themost is when you're like this
was a righteous desire and whyisn't it happening and but I
think, at least just in myexperience, it's like, yeah,
(21:27):
this sucks, okay, but I'm justgonna say I can do anything for
10 seconds and I'm just gonnamove forward and just like every
day, like, yeah, every 10seconds or every day, just be
like it's gonna be okay.
I'm just gonna take the nextstep, good, next step, and just,
you still feel the emotions,but I think it's you, you don't
get sucked in.
Yeah, and it's not just the notgetting sucked in, I think.
(21:49):
I think it's also, I guess, no,maybe it is.
I feel like it's directionalright, because I think us as
human beings, as a spirit.
We're a soul, right, we're aspirit and we're a body, and
part of that I am curious to seeif our spirits felt emotions.
I don't know, I feel like theywould right.
that's something I don't know Iwould think they might be less,
(22:12):
though, because of yeah yeah,well, and that's the thing that
I'm curious about, like with,with our bodies, you know, I'm
sure we feel, we just feel itmaybe a little more intensely.
Yeah, so I, I at least for me,I think, okay, it's natural to
feel anger, it's natural togrieve it's natural to feel
sadness, but it's the okay.
Am I gonna take this grief andthis anger and lash out at god?
(22:35):
Am?
I gonna take it and lash out atmyself am I gonna let it sit and
fester, take it on my children,my husband, my whatever right.
I think it's okay to say I amangry and I'm trying to get over
my anger.
Okay, I'm trying to get over mydisappointments but that
doesn't make it easy, right?
I don't know how helpful thatwas.
(22:55):
I don't feel like that was veryhelpful.
Rhiannon (22:57):
I think that was good to say, instead of always having
us so determined to have ourway, like this is my perfect
plan because ultimately, yeah,god's the omniscient, omnipotent
one who's right, planned forthousands upon thousands of eons
.
Lily (23:12):
Yeah, he's in advance for things, not ruin my plan, okay I
have planned this for amillennia I promise it's the
perfect thing for you right andso what you said, though, was
like okay, this is my plan, butis it yours?
Rhiannon (23:26):
like I just want to do what you want me to do, like
this is what I want, but I'mwilling to adapt and be flexible
.
Again, managing expectations,yeah and so.
Lily (23:34):
I've definitely had to learn to manage expectations.
Rhiannon (23:37):
That's the hardest thing, though it really is it's
true, but, um, yes, so withplans, yeah, just being, and
again, I guess going back forquick direct therapy is, yeah,
being adaptable, yeah, learninghow to do something a different
way.
Yeah, and uh, like BethanyHamilton, when you know, I don't
(24:01):
know if people remember, butshe's a soul surfer, yes, yeah,
so she was like a year olderthan me when this happened, so
it hit really close to home.
But she's this awesome surferliking to go pro yeah, accident
where a shark, a shark attack,yeah, bites off her arm.
So she only has one arm now.
Yeah, and she's trying tofunction and learn this of being
a teenager.
Yeah, I can't even imagine, andso, and she just I love her
(24:25):
exemplifying christ and likegiving it to him, like he's the
reason I've been, I've been ableto be courageous, and so she
has used her fame.
Like she went on, she adapted,yeah, she learned how to be
resilient and work with that, tokeep surfing, yeah and um, and
I think she's a mom now.
Lily (24:41):
Oh, oh yeah, she's got like three boys.
She has like all kinds ofthings.
Rhiannon (24:44):
Yeah, she does retreats for women with limb
differences and so, but againshe like uses that to testify of
Christ and how he supported her, because she's like this is not
my plan, I was going to go dothis.
And she went to do it anyway,but she's like more famous
because of that, because of that, so of that, because of that.
(25:06):
So, yeah, I just anyway.
So I love being able to seethat like, okay, here's your
plan.
It didn't work out, let's beresilient.
Yes, give it to God, don't getmad at him.
Right, ultimately, this is thebetter way readjust our
expectations.
Yeah um, so my other.
I have two more experiences.
Yeah, one was signing up my sonfor kindergarten and I'd prayed
about where to go.
He had two options, nearby bothwhich were great schools, and I
felt the one.
(25:27):
I was like okay.
So I got them all signed up andthen COVID hit and the world
shut down and I was like okay.
So randomly I was driving bylike in the summer, so that's
like kind of late in the gamefor registering kids for for
school, like you have to be onit in like january for any like
charter school, yeah, and stuff,yeah, charter, or even
(25:48):
preschool.
These days it's okay, january,oh, wow, okay, yeah, um.
And so I was driving by and itwas like uh, your son needs to
go to this other school instead.
I'm like, really like, becauseyou told me that this one, this
one first then, and I followedthat.
And then you know, two, threemonths later, it's like no,
god's like you need to send himhere, and I was like okay, so I
(26:11):
did.
It was a lottery system, so Ithought, well, if he gets in,
it's meant to be, if he doesn't.
It's not meant to be and hestill has the other school as
backup backup and so he got inand it's been a really good
placement for him and no oneelse in our area goes to that
(26:31):
school, yeah, so we're kind ofjust like okay again.
Something my husband and I'vetalked about a lot is like doing
what's correct for you and yourfamily and what God has
intended for you, rather thantrying to look at what everyone
else is doing like oh well,they're doing this, so then we
should adopt that too.
Right, no Not necessarily Right, and so that's been like, okay,
we're going to kind of be theoddball out here, yeah, and do
(26:53):
that.
So I just that's been a verydistinctive memory and
experience for me.
And then one time so I reallylike being a mom, but it's been
really trying sometimes, and soone day I was in the basement
(27:15):
and my kids were playing andthey were still pretty young,
but anyway, I was just having ahorrible day and I was depressed
and I was like I hatemotherhood, like I'm such a bad
mom to them and I just was sodown on myself so I was like
hiding under a and I just like,and I just was praying in my
(27:37):
heart and in my head.
I'm like god, I'm so sorry, likeI wanted to be better for them
so much because they are suchprecious little angels and they
teach you so much.
But it's hard and I just waslike they deserve better and
anyway.
So I said amen, and then,literally probably five seconds
later, my son comes and opens upthe blanket and looks at me,
(27:57):
said you're a good mom, and Ijust started bawling, and so
that just is.
Like God is aware and my kidsare aware, and like I think
that's one thing I've gainedfrom, and I tell them all the
time I'm like, ok, I love you,and I have emotions too, though,
and so please like, forgive mewhen I mess up, when I'm not as
(28:22):
patient as I need to be, when Isnap at you, right, like I am
still learning, like, andespecially with him, he's my
firstborn.
And I'm like, hey, you're likewe're in this together as new.
I've never done this before.
You're my first, so, but I'vejust been.
I think it's been reallyhealthy to be open and honest,
because I feel like a fewgenerations or even just one
generation ago it was very likeyou stifle your emotions you're
(28:45):
suppressed, just deal with it.
Don't talk to your kids aboutwhat you're experiencing.
You're just supposed to kind ofbe the rock and yeah, but it's
really helpful for them to belike, oh yeah, like my parents
are people too and yeah, theymess up and they apologize like
right I.
So I always, always try to makesure I reconcile with my kids
after I've screwed up yeah, I'mlike I'm sorry, that was not
(29:09):
okay to do that.
It was okay I was upset, butwhat I did with that and the way
I reacted or responded was nothelpful so well.
Lily (29:16):
I think that that's you modeling the gospel of jesus
christ in your home right.
It's you showing them.
You know, I have to repent too.
Yep, I have to say I'm sorrytoo.
And I think that that's reallypowerful, because when things
like that come from a trustedadult, I think it has a lot more
impact on them.
Rhiannon (29:33):
Oh yeah, I grew up viewing my parents as kind of
superheroes.
You know they can fix everyproblem that you bring to them.
Do no wrong.
Yeah, do no wrong.
Well, kind of, but yeah, like,yeah, like more like.
Oh, they don't mess up as badlyas I do, like they still kind
of like make little mistakes,yeah, you know, but they're like
they got it all together andright.
But as you age, and especially,I think, in the teenage years
(29:55):
and then in the young adultyears, and then, like after you
get married and have kids ofyour own, you're like, whoa,
like, my parents are people too,and I have to kind of adjust
that viewpoint.
I just think that's such aninteresting transformation.
Yeah, because you're now likemore on their equal.
They're no longer this like Ialways think older people and
more authority figures have moreweight in their opinions and
(30:17):
ideas right than me, and that'snot a correct way to say things.
Yeah, um, and so having thatloving stewardship of being able
to see, oh yeah, my mom neededto repent today yeah and I
forgave her, which they are sogood at forgiving I know, I
don't know how kids do it.
Oh my goodness, bless their,bless their hearts, literally
(30:37):
like they, yeah, yeah, you'relike, oh my gosh, thank you,
yeah, with all that just beingopen and honest and genuine, I
think is boiling it down Likebeing genuine with your kids
about your emotions, yourexperiences and owning to when
you mess up and beingaccountable, right, because then
that helps them say, oh okay,if they're doing that, I can do
(31:00):
it too, right, and everyonemesses up and makes mistakes.
It's not just a kid thing,because it can get really
discouraging for them.
Like I always do this or thisnever works out.
I'm like, no, let's not use allor nothing language.
Like you have to recognize, andI would say how many more years
of practice on this skill do Ihave than you?
A lot, a lot, and I'm still notgood at it.
(31:26):
Yeah, right, yeah.
Sometimes I'm like, okay, well,you're already better than this
thing and you're this old andI'm never gonna get to your
level because that's just yourforte and strength and I'm okay
with that, yeah, um and so yeah,just being to able to recognize
and nurture and provide thatatmosphere of healthy emotional
expression, right, so, um, yeahdo you feel like we should do
(31:51):
that with people we're aroundtoo, like with it with other
friends?
Lily (31:56):
being genuine, yeah, I feel like I was just thinking
about that.
I think a lot of the times wehave this really weird dynamic
in our culture now where mentalhealth is so prevalent and so
big and so known and everybodytalks about it, but I still feel
like people don't talk thatmakes sense like how often do we
like we might say oh I'm, youknow I have this thing going on
(32:18):
and you might go see a therapist, but how often do you really
confide in your friends?
yeah, or how often do you reallyI don, I don't know like reach
out and discuss those reallyhard things with each other?
I don't know, I don't know ifthat's, maybe I'm off base.
Rhiannon (32:35):
No, I think.
I think obviously it's like withanything, this is a deep part
of you and you're saying like Ihave a problem right now and a
lot of people don't want to saywhen they have problems because
it's hard to admit that yeah,and there's a lot of like shame,
guilt, judgment, fear ofrejection.
There's a lot wrapped up in it.
But, as I was telling a familymember who's going through some
(33:00):
hard mental health stuff andI've kind of shared my journey
with depression and I'm like themore people I kind of just not
necessarily laid out in the open, but I'm like, oh yeah, like I
struggle with this too, or thisis what's going on with me right
now.
I think it does deepenrelationships, for sure, to open
up, but again, do you have togo tell that to every single
(33:22):
person in the world?
No right time and a place anddetermining who you're okay with
sharing with, who you knowyou're gonna be treated with
respect and support, right, um,but I think obviously the more
people you tell, the more peopleyou can just have on your team
and praying for you or cheeringfor you or sending you good
vibes, and so, while it isreally uncomfortable, it
(33:45):
definitely, I think, opens thedoor for other people to be like
oh wait, she, she struggleswith that.
No, yeah, she's.
She's so good, though, likeshe's so again we put people on
pedestals, or their lifestylesor choices, and then we realize
like, oh, like they have crap.
No, people too yeah, yeah and um, so just yeah, being genuine
(34:10):
and authentic and, I think,trying to use the spirit as a
guide of them, like, okay, Ishould open up to this person
about this, because maybethey're needing to hear right
about your struggle and alsobeing willing to listen to
others, right, but havingboundaries of like.
I want you to share this withme, but I don't know if I want
to know, like every, everyeverything.
Yeah, Because then that can.
(34:31):
I'm a very empathetic person,and so I'm like oh my gosh that
can be really weighty.
I need to help them because Ijust take on that charge and I
have to remember, like JesusChrist already has got it taken
care of.
He's the ultimate healer, he'sthe only one who can ultimately
reach them and help them.
That is not your job.
You can support, you can pray,you can help, you can show love,
(34:52):
but it is not up to you toquote, unquote fix them, because
even Christ isn't fixing them.
He's helping them to transform,to change their own hearts, to
change and find the mentalcapacity, the spiritual
perspective, the physicalcapability to deal with whatever
they have in God's plan forthem to grow Right and progress.
(35:14):
So yeah, it's so.
That's my thought on that.
That was really powerful.
What?
Lily (35:21):
you just said right there, I gave you goosebumps.
Okay, that was really cool,that was great.
Rhiannon (35:24):
Yeah, because we do often.
I don't know, maybe otherpeople are better at that, but I
feel you know we're taught andthis is a big proponent of our
church and the gospel of JesusChrist is to help others, to
serve them, to make sacrifices.
Yeah, but that comes at a costsometimes, and I think it's
important to also put boundarieson saying no and like I can't
(35:45):
do that right now.
And it's okay to say no, yeah,it's okay to.
Okay, I'm going to have toshare an experience.
But I wasn't planning on sharingAnyway, but being able to,
because again the Savior hadboundaries.
He went and rejuvenated himselfand took time to be alone with
the Father and to recoup.
(36:06):
Because you know, justministering and serving other
people takes a lot out of youand you think on like the level
he was doing, of the miracles ofblindness and leprosy, and you
know there's obviously mentalstuff in there too, but a lot of
the ones we hear are about ourphysical.
(36:27):
I can only imagine having thatpower and virtue given to heal
and help other people, and hehadn't even experienced and
undergone the atonement yet yeahand I just was like, oh my gosh
.
So I remember two things thatcame to mind.
Hopefully, then, we're done.
Um, so in college is where Ihad my really big wave of
(36:54):
depression, but I didn't realizethat's quite what it was when
that very first hit.
And then later I was like, ohyeah, that was that's it.
And my parents were awesome,super supportive, but I remember
having this like this is theimage I can describe with
depression is you're in the verybottom of this super dark, deep
well and it is so far down thatother people from the top might
(37:18):
be trying to reach out and helpyou, but they they can't and,
like I, just you're like layinglike face down, like just
surrounded by darkness, and thenthe savior extends his hand and
he holds it, but he doesn'tgrab your hand.
He is waiting for you to reachout, which sometimes is so hard
(37:39):
like I have had multipleexperiences where I'm in that
spiral or that wallowing and I'mlike, no, I don't want to, I
don't want to change, I don'twant to have to get up and try
again.
I just want to lay here and andbe loathing and just, yeah, not
not keep going.
And then, but as soon as I makethat switch, that decision, to
(38:01):
say okay, I'm, I'm going toreach out, and he's only asking
you to like move an inch orsomething like just raise your
arm, that's all I'm asking youto do, and then he's the one
that pulls you out the rest ofthe way out of the well.
But that's just been and maybeI can make that into some sort
of art image or something,because that's again, it's only
(38:25):
his power that can truly reachus but it we have to do our part
, we have to reach out right.
There has to be action on ourend, too right for his grace to
take effect on our lives.
So, and then my last one is, um.
So I got to work with a reallyamazing woman and she was the
release society president of our, which is just the leader of
(38:47):
the women 18 years and older,and she had no clue who I was
and she called me as herassistant secretary.
Now we had other positions thatwere more common, like there's a
first and second counselor andthey just provide support to the
president and they kind oftheir different roles.
And a secretary Right, why isthe assistant secretary?
So I was this random additiontacked on.
(39:07):
I'm like I don't even know whatI'm doing here and I remember
meeting her for the first time.
She's like, oh, I had no ideawho you were, but your name just
kind of jumped out on the listof possibilities.
I'm like, okay, here we go.
Yeah, so we were workingtogether and doing things and
then guess what, covid hit again, um, and she went through some
(39:28):
medical stuff, and so we're like, is she gonna like step down?
But she was playing on, keepinggoing, um, and then she, she
and Bishop were like no, likeit's someone else's turn yeah
and my name came up, so Iremember.
Um, so our Bishop is just theleader of our little local
(39:51):
congregation and so, again, Ireally hadn't ever talked to him
.
We'd only been in the ward areaof congregation for like a year
, yeah.
And so he came to our housewith a little mask on and in the
middle of summer, and he's likehey, we want to extend this
calling to you to be the nextpresident.
And I was all excuse me what'sgoing on and so I I remember
(40:13):
saying I'm gonna have to reallypray and think about this for
myself, because usually a bigteaching in our church is like
you just accept a callingbecause it's the lord extending
it to you from bishop or rightand so um.
But I was like I had to.
I kind of went through the fivestages of grace yeah, like I'm
like, why are you, you know?
(40:33):
Anger denial, sadness, like Iwas like oh my gosh.
And then finally acceptance,like I was praying in my bed one
night and I'm like I need toaccept this calling.
So here I was super young, allmy counselors were older than me
.
Yeah, I think at the time Iwent through a few anyway.
So here we go, like figuringthis unprecedented time out for
(40:58):
leading women who I can't evenlike go visit in their homes,
which is what a typical likethat was a big would be a big
part is visiting and ministeringand loving these sisters.
We'll have to do that withoutbeing able to be there in person
.
But we had a lot of porch sidechats and a lot of phone calls
and FaceTimes and Zooms andtexting, like there are still
(41:19):
some women that I talked to butnever met and they moved out
like it.
It was just a very unique time,yeah, anyway.
So that went by, we werechugging along and um, we're
like over a year later and Istart to feel myself crack.
(41:41):
And that was really hard for mebecause I'm very duty bound, I
am responsible, I want to makesure I'm kind of a people
pleaser we're working on that tobe healthy but I don't want to
let people down.
I want to meet what's expectedof me and I remember we were
(42:02):
meeting with the other adultleaders and what's called ward
council and then we had like atiny 30 minute break before our
church meetings began and I wentto the bathroom and I just
sobbed because I felt sooverwhelmed, so burdened, so
stretched out and drained andthat happened for a few times
and I started thinking I don'tthink that's what's supposed to
(42:25):
be happening.
And so I remember sitting in oneof our temples, which is just a
sacred building that you haveto get a recommend into and meet
certain standards that they askyou about your testimony
worthiness to enter, and therewas a painting of christ calming
the storm when he's on the boatin the sea of galilee and
(42:47):
everyone's like master cares,though not that we perish and
he's standing there, you know,just so peaceful, and I thought
he can calm your storm.
So I thought, okay, I got this,like I'm gonna keep going,
because typically you would bein for three years before the
next person would take over.
Well, that was not going to bethe case for me.
So, yeah, I really grappledwith this decision, like I kept
(43:11):
thinking and trying andpersevering and pushing and it
just was not cutting it.
And so I remember talking withBishop, because we would meet um
a couple times a month and justhim and me to talk about the
sisters and what's going on andhow to love and again, keep
ministering and serving them andsupporting, and not just
(43:32):
spiritually but physically,emotionally, mentally.
And I was like, bishop, I thinkwe might need to start looking
at calling someone else.
And he's like you know what?
Let's have you churn on that.
You know, like an ice creammachine churns, yeah, and it
takes some time.
So he's like let's churn onthat.
And then I get a text from himduring sacrament meeting saying
we're gonna meet after churchtoday.
(43:52):
You're done churning.
And I'm like, okay, wow, um,yeah, so it's uh, spoke to both
of you yeah.
so he and my in-laws were intown randomly and staying with
us at this time.
So I'm like, hey, honey, to myhusband, like I got to meet with
Bishop, and he's always like,yep, go do your thing, he's so
amazing that way.
So then we sat in his officethat was his last interview of
(44:15):
the day and with our bishops.
They're volunteers, so theydon't get compensated.
This, so they don't getcompensated, this is not their
full-time job.
He has a full-time job.
He has a family of his own.
He has other responsibilities.
He's trying to balance yep in ain conjunction with this.
So here, he's been gone from hisfamily like all day long.
He's been at church, he's metwith other people yeah, it's the
end of the day, like he's readyto go home, but he was taking
(44:37):
the time to meet with me.
Yeah, and we sat there and Iwas just bawling for 45 minutes
straight and we're trying tothink about okay, if you stay,
what comes up for you, if youdecide to leave, what comes up
for you?
And he's like God's not lettingme have the answer, like this
has got to come from you,rhiannon.
I said okay.
So I finally just took a deepbreath and calmed myself and a
(45:02):
distinct voice said I'm done,I'm done.
I said I'm done, bishop.
He said that's it OK.
And it was a huge wave of peaceand relief for me and because I
also worried like what arepeople going to think?
Like I couldn't hack it andbecause I also worried like what
(45:23):
are people going?
to think Like I couldn't hack it.
So a lot of justself-recriminating thoughts and
worries about what other peoplewere going to deem as a bad
choice, yeah, and so I walkedout of there and I was like you
know what?
That's okay.
I've done what God needed me todo and it was enough.
Lily (45:39):
Right.
Rhiannon (45:40):
I was enough to do and it was enough.
Right, I was enough.
And for me to try to keeppushing and acting like I can do
this and not, and shutting down, avoiding, right, letting
things drop, that's not gonna befair to Bishop, that's not
gonna be fair to the sisters,right, they're both not getting
the love and support they need.
So it's okay to pass the torchor baton, so to speak.
And then our wonderful, sweet,um, current release day
(46:04):
president was selected and thatwas also cool to, yeah, be able
to be part of that becausebishop consulted me.
He's like who do you think itshould be?
Um, and she's been doingawesome and she's who we needed.
But I just a lot of people.
I was really worried about whatpeople were gonna think after
that and no one, at least to myface, said anything like why
(46:29):
couldn't you just stick it out,like come on, it's not that hard
, or like you weren't in forvery long, yeah, um, everyone
just was like, oh, like, thankyou so much, like you were great
and my one person that I didn'tknow even that well, but now
we're more friends.
Lily (46:47):
She was like.
Rhiannon (46:48):
I was like really impressed that you did that,
like that was that took somecourage and guts, yeah, and to
say I can't do this anymore andso, and not that like any of
their opinions should validate,like oh, oh, yeah, because other
people said this it was theright thing to do.
But like I'm like hey, god, inthe words of Joseph Smith, I
(47:10):
knew it and I, god knew and Iknew that, god knew it and I
could not deny it right.
So that's my big like yes, wewant to serve in our callings
and be in the roles that godneeds us to be, but please don't
feel like expectations or likeculture, um kind of traditions
(47:33):
like oh this is how long you'rein for and you always do this
needs to be how you live yourlife, because, ultimately, it's
god's plan for you, right, andhe's looking out for you.
He knows your limits, he knowsyour strengths and your gifts,
and so he's ultimately whoshould be directing and
influencing your life and yourdecisions yeah and so, yep, the
(47:56):
savior is totally helping me somuch through that calling and
helped me since and he alwayswill be there, and so I'm just
really grateful that he's, um,loved me enough to die for me
and to suffer for all the things.
Not only that like I experienced, because that's just life, but
(48:16):
also like the pain and sufferingI've caused for other people.
Like thank you so much formaking up for that and and
redeeming me from my mess upsfor other people, because I'm
like, yeah, crap can happen tome, that's hard and thank you
for supporting me, but I feellike that's the real part of his
atonement and redemption andgrace is like thank you for
(48:39):
helping me have a clean slateevery day and every week when I
partake of the sacrament.
Thank you for helping me feellike I can be clean and worthy
and I can keep going and I'mstill loved and I can keep
serving and you're going to workwith me and never leave me, and
I say that in the name of JesusChrist Amen.
Lily (49:00):
Amen.
Thank you, Rhiannon, for yourtime tonight.
We really appreciate it.
Rhiannon (49:03):
You're welcome.
Lily (49:06):
Thanks again for tuning into More Than Coincidence
Remembering Jesus Christ in yourStory.
Please follow us on socialmedia or share us with a friend.
If you have an experience you'dlike to share, feel free to
reach out to morethancoincidencerememberhim at gmailcom.
I can't wait to hear all of theamazing memories you all have
(49:26):
of our Savior.
See you next time.
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