May 11, 2005
“I was driving from the beach to Gainesville, and got into an argument with the voice navigation system in my brand new Toyota Sienna minivan.”
Dave is driving and arguing with his voice navigation system, which keeps trying to route him the wrong way despite his knowledge of the correct route to Gainesville. Dave ends up taking a detour and getting lost, but eventually finds his way back on track. Throughout the drive, Dave listens to classic rock music, and comments on the scenery and landmarks he passes, including the St. John’s River and the town of Palatka. Dave’s destination is the Central Florida podcasters meetup in Gainesville.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
[Music]
(00:07):
This is the most hilarious
thing. I had to turn on my...
[Music]
Okay, this is my voice
navigation system.
[Music]
Arguing with Led Zeblin.
[Music]
And now they're playing their
(00:28):
sweet Daytona Beach, Florida.
Yeah, we're at the junction of
... we're at Highway 207.
And I'm gonna make a left turn,
even though the navigation
system wants me to go back
to get on to Interstate 95.
[Music]
See, yep, they want me to go
(00:49):
the wrong way.
[Music]
See, I'm trying to go to Gaines
ville, and the voice navigation
system has this weird
route planned, and it hasn't
actually showed me what the
route is.
And luckily this time I
actually know where I'm going,
because the first time I let it
(01:10):
take me somewhere was going to
Orlando to get to the airport.
And when I did that, well, God
darn it, it took me on the most
back-root road way to
get to the airport. It got me
there, but my nerves were so
(01:32):
rattled, and you got to
know that there's like... here,
there's a freeway. Yeah, it's
gonna complain now.
Okay, let's hear.
Well, here we go.
Yeah, and at that point it
wants me to make a right turn.
I don't know where I'm supposed
to go with that right turn,
(01:54):
exactly, where that's supposed
to take me. But, um, yeah, so
they took me back country route
to the, uh, Orland Airport,
and it got me there. And then
coming back from the airport I
said, "Well, what I'm
gonna do is I'm just gonna... '
Cause I've done that trip before
, I'm gonna basically
just follow the signs to Dayton
a Beach. And, uh, and then, um,
(02:18):
and then just blow through
all the instructions that the
navigation system is giving me,
and then just see where
that ends up taking me. And, uh
, well, needless to say, I ended
up not doing that.
And it was driving me instead
of me driving it. And it took
(02:39):
me to a road that was closed.
And so I had no choice but to
go in one direction. When it
wanted me to go straight, I
couldn't
go straight. I had to turn
right, and I couldn't turn left
, so I turned right, and, uh,
got
onto a big freeway, and I was
going west instead of east. And
(03:00):
it had me make a U-turn, and
then
I went all the way around and
then realized...
In half of a mile, my turn...
...that I was all the way back
where I had begun. I mean, I
was back at one of the earliest
turns after the airport. So I
went back and followed its
instructions again, and it took
me right back to the place
(03:21):
where there was no road. And I
didn't...it again, except this
time, I made a left instead of
a right and ended up going the
...ended up basically, it
got in sync, and it said, "Oh,
wow, there's a road I know."
And it...
Right turn.
Yeah, I see. I'm not going to
take this right. Okay, I'm not
(03:43):
going to, because I know that
if I stay on 207...I'm coming
up to Palakka now. No, Palakka
's 10 miles. If I stay on 207,
I'm going to get to Gainesville
. And I don't care what they
tell me, but this is the way
you go to Gainesville. Having
done this about 80,000 times.
(04:05):
Hitchhiked it a lot, actually,
when I was a kid. No, no, no.
No, we're not taking the
next left, dear. And then I had
the thought, when I got so
frustrating, that they could
program this thing to get
irritated with you. And they
say, "Look, I said to take a
left,
damn it, why don't you take
(04:26):
that left?" But it never gets
irritated. It just...she's
just the calmest person, but
very, very, very stubborn about
her way of doing things. You
either do it her way, by the
way, we're passing the home of
the Bulls Hit Ranch and Farm.
And we're in the potato capital
(04:47):
of Florida, in case you didn't
know that. Proceed about
three miles. No, no, we're not
going that way. Yes, I will
proceed about three miles,
but as we're entering Putnam
County, Florida, did you know
they grew potatoes in Florida?
Yeah, well, they did. They do.
And there's palm trees, too.
Palm trees and potatoes,
do they go together? Yeah, I
(05:08):
guess they do here. Anyway,
this is quite a station we
happen
to do. It's hard rocked from
the 1970s here. Let's turn it
up a little bit.
It ain't so hard to do if you
know how. You gotta get a
message, get it on through.
(05:31):
That's the doobie brothers. You
gotta listen to the music. Yeah
. And one of their songs,
Black Water, it's one of my
favorite songs. I just cheer up
whenever I hear it. I've
heard it about 80 billion times
. I just can't ever hear enough
of that. Love that song.
(05:52):
This is great. So here they do
field dirt and backhoe work and
commercial mowing. Yeah,
you see, we're getting into the
rural part here, where they do
that kind of stuff. This
isn't like, there's no vacation
rentals here. And this is, they
get tornadoes here, I think,
too. Kind of very, very flat.
And it's very stormy today,
(06:12):
very stormy because there's
a tropical storm. Arlene is
brewing over the Gulf of Mexico
. We get about 100 miles from
here, maybe a little bit more,
maybe 150 miles west of where I
'm going west. But right now,
the road's clear and it's not
raining and the beautiful four
(06:33):
lane highway with no traffic
and almost no traffic. It's
kind of an easy trip. Of course
, I do think I ought to pull
over at some point and sort of
reprogram this thing so that it
stops being seritating. I
just thought it was so funny.
Here we go.
You're half of a mile making a
(06:54):
review turn.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, we won
't. No way. I just thought it
was really funny the way
I was arguing while Led Zepp
elin was playing some great
classic rock song. It was like,
who would have guessed it was
what a, I guess that's what
they call a mashup, right? I
mean,
kind of a strange combination
(07:14):
here.
Like a legal U-turn.
No, no, no. Okay, so let's hear
. You'll hear two beeps now.
That means that was where I was
supposed to take the legal U-
turn, but I didn't. Now let's
hear what she has to say now.
What do we want? What do we, oh
.
Proceed about three miles.
And then I'm going to make a
(07:35):
left according to the computer
readout. This thing is
practically
worthless. I paid thousands of
dollars for this. I mean, this
was the same price as a
laptop computer. This doesn't
work worth a shit. Weird.
I think maybe I have to learn
(07:56):
how to use it though. That's
the thing. And that's what
I think I'm doing now. It's
like, okay, I could have gotten
onto the interstate there and
where
would that have taken me
exactly? I would love to have
seen the route that she had
planned for me.
What if a Republican got hold
(08:17):
of this? You know, based on
your politics, you're going to
go this
route and all of a sudden, oops
, where did I end up? Uh-oh.
Sorry.
There's many apologies to
Republicans. So where am I
headed right now? I'm headed to
Gainesville where we're going
to have a Central Florida pod
casters meetup. And one of the
guys, George Colombo, is coming
(08:38):
from Orlando. And I think Kay
Tramble is coming from
Gainesville, which is weird
because I thought she was in
Louisiana. But I saw her post
somewhere
that she was going to be there
and that's great. I was glad to
see her and honestly,
I don't know who else is going
to be there. I heard that
(08:59):
somebody from some newspaper is
coming to this thing. So you
never know. But I'm bringing my
camera and I'm bringing
a reporter. I'm going to stay
within the speed limit. I was
getting ready to pass some guy
with a Kia Sportaraj thing or
whatever it is. I think we
might be coming into Polacka
about now. Wow. According to
(09:19):
this thing, I'm going to be
taking two hours and seven
minutes to get to Gainesville,
but I'm not going the way they
want me to go.
In the middle of a mile, lap
turn. That would be onto Cr
acker Swamp Road, according to
the readout here. And Cracker
Swamp Road sounds like a really
great place for a Jewish
(09:40):
guy to go. How many guys like
me come out of that place alive
? That would be where I would
think that the Republicans
would want me to go. On to Cr
acker Swamp Drive. How much you
want to bet that goes to Cr
acker Swamp? Yeah. Yeah. Cracker
(10:02):
Swamp. There's East Cracker
Swamp Drive and then there's
West. And now, folks, we're in
East Polacka. Proceed about
one mile. One mile, where they
're going to have me take a
right turn. Let me just get it,
you know, luckily I printed out
some directions from Google
Maps. I have those sitting out.
I'm going to put this down for
a minute. Maybe I'll turn up
(10:23):
the music a little bit here.
[gun shot]
Let's see what's the deal here.
So, 207. Continue on East
Church Street, West Church
Street.
Continue on 207, 207. Okay, I'm
(10:45):
going to go on 207 for another
six miles, then turn right
on State Route 100. And before
then, I'm going to stop and
reprogram this thing. Yeah.
That's
exactly what I'm going to do.
In half of a mile, right turn.
Yeah, in half of a mile,
what I'm going to do is I'm
going to look for a place to
(11:06):
stop. Okay, folks, we're going
to put this thing to rest for a
minute and you guys go to sleep
for a bit. You won't
remember anything when you wake
up. I'm going to pull into this
gas station here. And we
have our houses. Wow. Nice sun.
Cool. And then here we are. All
right, very good.
Okay, you won't remember a
(11:36):
thing. Okay, we're back. That
pause could have been a lot
shorter than it was. I mean, I
could have lifted on because it
took me a lot less time. I
think
that it was basically taking me
to a place in a different city.
(11:57):
And so I think that that's
why the instructions made no
sense. I think that I don't
know where I thought. I had
chosen
the destination by the name of
the restaurant. And I was
pretty sure that I had entered
Gainesville.
But now instead of like a huge
(12:20):
long distance, so what do they
want me to do now? Oh boy.
Junction 17, 50 miles, one hour
and 28 minutes. In two tenths
of a mile, right turn. Okay.
Next right. That's what we're
going to do, folks. We're going
(12:41):
to make us a right turn.
Going north. Well, this is
quite a stretch, but we're
going to do it anyway. Okay, we
're
going to go right. I'm
following your instructions,
honey. Okay, black to two miles
. Yeah, this
is familiar. I've been here
before. This is one of the like
, when you're hitchhiking.
(13:03):
New Orleans. When you're taking
from New Orleans. That was one
of the places where you had to
get out because almost nobody
was going to the beach from
there. So I'd usually stop
at one of those places and get
me a big tall cold can of bush
beer and drink it right there.
We're out there, y'all. I love
(13:23):
the can, the bush beer can. I
used to drink beer then.
Not a lot, but I used to drink
it somewhat. That's where I
would do it because I was
almost
home, basically, at that point.
Almost there. Almost, almost,
almost almost there. So now,
if I'm not mistaken, we're
going to cross the St. John's
River, which is a huge, huge
(13:44):
bridge.
Huge river, actually. And Playa
is a poor place. It's not rich.
And navigating your way through
Black River is not that easy.
But now I've got my, oh, here's
a funeral. Wow. Looked out
there.
Yeah, that's what that is. What
(14:06):
was I going to say? Yeah. But
luckily, with my guidance
system,
Black River would be no problem
at all. It just breeze right
through it. Make a left, make a
right,
make a left, left, right, right
. Here's the bridge. Yep. Here
we come up to the bridge.
And that would be the St. John
's River, which is, I believe,
the inter-coastal waterway.
(14:28):
Ha ha ha. Or a branch of it.
Yep, the St. John's River. It's
not fresh water, I don't think.
It's fresh water. It's huge.
Look at it on the map. Check it
out. Placa. Now it's starting
to rain again.
Yep. Okay. Speed limit 40.
(14:54):
Everybody's slowing down for
some reason. It must be because
the speed limit is 40 miles per
hour.
This is the same river that
goes through Jacksonville. I'm
going to have to look at the
map to see where this thing
ends up.
But sure enough, we're going to
(15:16):
make a left in about eight-t
enths of a mile.
Now the navigation system is
beginning to do a good job
because this is the correct
move. It's calling now for me
to do the right thing.
This is now working. We're now
in a functional relationship,
(15:37):
everybody. Okay, so this is
Second Street.
In half of a mile, left turn.
Uh-huh. Right. Well, what it
called the left was really
going straight. It does that
sometimes. That is so weird.
That is the way it works. Okay,
(15:58):
we're on 17 North and I'm 100
West. We're going to make a
left in...
We're on 9th Street. No, we're
going to make a left on to 9th
Street. So we're passing now. I
don't know if you really care
about it either.
See, this is what they say
podcasting is like really
(16:19):
boring. This is the part they
're talking about.
Well, but I have to do the
drive. You might as well drive
with me. This is what it would
be like.
Left turn ahead. Left turn
ahead on 9th Street. Very good
here. There's a red light on 9
th Street, but a green left turn
.
Now, but this guy is going too
(16:41):
slow. I'm not going to make it.
I'm not going to make it. Am I
going to make it? Am I going to
make it?
Oh, I'm going to cut a little
corner here. Can I make it?
Yeah. Nope. Nope. The light
just turned red.
Okay, we'll just hang out here
and enjoy the blackness scene.
Right. Gainesville 44. I can
see this side.
We're definitely going the
right way. 9th Street is the
(17:01):
right correct turn. Isn't that
nice?
Because they tell you why.
Because if you look ahead,
there's a confusing sign that
says 17 North, 100 West
continues.
Okay, this is West 20. Now I
can turn left now.
The light just turned green.
And this is West 20 and Gaines
(17:23):
ville is 44 miles away. And I
got an hour and a half to get
there.
So I would say I'm going to be
on time in all probability. I
would say yes, sir. I'm going
to be on time.
Now this podcast will be over a
while before I get to Gaines
ville because I'm not going to
talk for 44 minutes.
We know that, right? Does that
(17:45):
have anything to say? It's
worth 44 minutes.
Uh oh, 20 closed through, uh oh
. Oh jeez. Now what? Detour. Oh
my goodness. This is the poor
part of town, folks.
This looks like a poorer part
(18:06):
of any southern town road
closed traffic. Okay, well, it
's going to be more than 44
miles.
Now let's see how my voice
navigation system deals with
this little deal trick here. Uh
oh, what did he do?
I don't want to snap. Uh oh,
what the hell did my friend do?
It's not complaining.
(18:28):
What did you do? Oh, damn. See,
it's a good thing it doesn't
have a personality because
right about now it would be
flipping out.
It should be flipping. It
should be yelling at me. Make a
legal U-turn. Okay, here's my
stop sign.
This is detour at left, like,
(18:50):
left. I went out on 13th Street
in Polacca. Yep, Polacca. Nice
looking town.
I mean, you know, it's poor but
it looks comfortable. I'm sure
you could afford to live here.
I detour right turn, yep. Yeah,
(19:11):
this is cool. I'm glad. Uh huh.
Well, I'm kind of glad we're
taking this detour because now
we get to tour.
That's why they call them det
ours. Detour. This is that, oh,
we're back on the road. We're
back on West 20.
Well, the detour is over. We
got detour. See? Was it worth
(19:35):
it? All that just to get that.
I could have put that on my
blog but I never would have
thought of it. And I certainly
never would have remembered it.
Okay. Hurry, hurry.
(19:59):
I'm on the road loaded with 24,
500 now, 17,990. Thousands less
than any other sport utility on
the market.
Every Azuzu comes with a seven
year, 75,000 mile warranty.
Spin left, go farther.
Daytona and Azuzu at the Dayton
a Automall. 6,000 cars, 217
miles, one huge location.
I-95 to LPGA Boulevard are on
(20:21):
the web at DaytonaAuzuzu.com.
And they say we don't like
advertising.
They say we don't like
(20:51):
advertising.
All right. All right, enough.
(21:29):
So they say we don't like ads.
Well, I guess it all depends. I
mean, if it's an Azuzu ad, sure
. Let's do it.
Okay. I'm looking for a little
doodad thing because I want to
drink some Diet Coke and sort
of space out a little bit.
So I think that my little deal
here is going to be just on
(21:49):
high. It says next turn is in
46 miles. Really?
I don't know if that means the
next turn, but I think we're
running pretty good. It's dead
here.
So I'll catch up with you in a
little bit, okay?
[Music]
(00:07):
This is the most hilarious
thing. I had to turn on my...
[Music]
Okay, this is my voice
navigation system.
[Music]
Arguing with Led Zeblin.
[Music]
And now they're playing their
(00:28):
sweet Daytona Beach, Florida.
Yeah, we're at the junction of
... we're at Highway 207.
And I'm gonna make a left turn,
even though the navigation
system wants me to go back
to get on to Interstate 95.
[Music]
See, yep, they want me to go
(00:49):
the wrong way.
[Music]
See, I'm trying to go to Gaines
ville, and the voice navigation
system has this weird
route planned, and it hasn't
actually showed me what the
route is.
And luckily this time I
actually know where I'm going,
because the first time I let it
(01:10):
take me somewhere was going to
Orlando to get to the airport.
And when I did that, well, God
darn it, it took me on the most
back-root road way to
get to the airport. It got me
there, but my nerves were so
(01:32):
rattled, and you got to
know that there's like... here,
there's a freeway. Yeah, it's
gonna complain now.
Okay, let's hear.
Well, here we go.
Yeah, and at that point it
wants me to make a right turn.
I don't know where I'm supposed
to go with that right turn,
(01:54):
exactly, where that's supposed
to take me. But, um, yeah, so
they took me back country route
to the, uh, Orland Airport,
and it got me there. And then
coming back from the airport I
said, "Well, what I'm
gonna do is I'm just gonna... '
Cause I've done that trip before
, I'm gonna basically
just follow the signs to Dayton
a Beach. And, uh, and then, um,
(02:18):
and then just blow through
all the instructions that the
navigation system is giving me,
and then just see where
that ends up taking me. And, uh
, well, needless to say, I ended
up not doing that.
And it was driving me instead
of me driving it. And it took
(02:39):
me to a road that was closed.
And so I had no choice but to
go in one direction. When it
wanted me to go straight, I
couldn't
go straight. I had to turn
right, and I couldn't turn left
, so I turned right, and, uh,
got
onto a big freeway, and I was
going west instead of east. And
(03:00):
it had me make a U-turn, and
then
I went all the way around and
then realized...
In half of a mile, my turn...
...that I was all the way back
where I had begun. I mean, I
was back at one of the earliest
turns after the airport. So I
went back and followed its
instructions again, and it took
me right back to the place
(03:21):
where there was no road. And I
didn't...it again, except this
time, I made a left instead of
a right and ended up going the
...ended up basically, it
got in sync, and it said, "Oh,
wow, there's a road I know."
And it...
Right turn.
Yeah, I see. I'm not going to
take this right. Okay, I'm not
(03:43):
going to, because I know that
if I stay on 207...I'm coming
up to Palakka now. No, Palakka
's 10 miles. If I stay on 207,
I'm going to get to Gainesville
. And I don't care what they
tell me, but this is the way
you go to Gainesville. Having
done this about 80,000 times.
(04:05):
Hitchhiked it a lot, actually,
when I was a kid. No, no, no.
No, we're not taking the
next left, dear. And then I had
the thought, when I got so
frustrating, that they could
program this thing to get
irritated with you. And they
say, "Look, I said to take a
left,
damn it, why don't you take
(04:26):
that left?" But it never gets
irritated. It just...she's
just the calmest person, but
very, very, very stubborn about
her way of doing things. You
either do it her way, by the
way, we're passing the home of
the Bulls Hit Ranch and Farm.
And we're in the potato capital
(04:47):
of Florida, in case you didn't
know that. Proceed about
three miles. No, no, we're not
going that way. Yes, I will
proceed about three miles,
but as we're entering Putnam
County, Florida, did you know
they grew potatoes in Florida?
Yeah, well, they did. They do.
And there's palm trees, too.
Palm trees and potatoes,
do they go together? Yeah, I
(05:08):
guess they do here. Anyway,
this is quite a station we
happen
to do. It's hard rocked from
the 1970s here. Let's turn it
up a little bit.
It ain't so hard to do if you
know how. You gotta get a
message, get it on through.
(05:31):
That's the doobie brothers. You
gotta listen to the music. Yeah
. And one of their songs,
Black Water, it's one of my
favorite songs. I just cheer up
whenever I hear it. I've
heard it about 80 billion times
. I just can't ever hear enough
of that. Love that song.
(05:52):
This is great. So here they do
field dirt and backhoe work and
commercial mowing. Yeah,
you see, we're getting into the
rural part here, where they do
that kind of stuff. This
isn't like, there's no vacation
rentals here. And this is, they
get tornadoes here, I think,
too. Kind of very, very flat.
And it's very stormy today,
(06:12):
very stormy because there's
a tropical storm. Arlene is
brewing over the Gulf of Mexico
. We get about 100 miles from
here, maybe a little bit more,
maybe 150 miles west of where I
'm going west. But right now,
the road's clear and it's not
raining and the beautiful four
(06:33):
lane highway with no traffic
and almost no traffic. It's
kind of an easy trip. Of course
, I do think I ought to pull
over at some point and sort of
reprogram this thing so that it
stops being seritating. I
just thought it was so funny.
Here we go.
You're half of a mile making a
(06:54):
review turn.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, we won
't. No way. I just thought it
was really funny the way
I was arguing while Led Zepp
elin was playing some great
classic rock song. It was like,
who would have guessed it was
what a, I guess that's what
they call a mashup, right? I
mean,
kind of a strange combination
(07:14):
here.
Like a legal U-turn.
No, no, no. Okay, so let's hear
. You'll hear two beeps now.
That means that was where I was
supposed to take the legal U-
turn, but I didn't. Now let's
hear what she has to say now.
What do we want? What do we, oh
.
Proceed about three miles.
And then I'm going to make a
(07:35):
left according to the computer
readout. This thing is
practically
worthless. I paid thousands of
dollars for this. I mean, this
was the same price as a
laptop computer. This doesn't
work worth a shit. Weird.
I think maybe I have to learn
(07:56):
how to use it though. That's
the thing. And that's what
I think I'm doing now. It's
like, okay, I could have gotten
onto the interstate there and
where
would that have taken me
exactly? I would love to have
seen the route that she had
planned for me.
What if a Republican got hold
(08:17):
of this? You know, based on
your politics, you're going to
go this
route and all of a sudden, oops
, where did I end up? Uh-oh.
Sorry.
There's many apologies to
Republicans. So where am I
headed right now? I'm headed to
Gainesville where we're going
to have a Central Florida pod
casters meetup. And one of the
guys, George Colombo, is coming
(08:38):
from Orlando. And I think Kay
Tramble is coming from
Gainesville, which is weird
because I thought she was in
Louisiana. But I saw her post
somewhere
that she was going to be there
and that's great. I was glad to
see her and honestly,
I don't know who else is going
to be there. I heard that
(08:59):
somebody from some newspaper is
coming to this thing. So you
never know. But I'm bringing my
camera and I'm bringing
a reporter. I'm going to stay
within the speed limit. I was
getting ready to pass some guy
with a Kia Sportaraj thing or
whatever it is. I think we
might be coming into Polacka
about now. Wow. According to
(09:19):
this thing, I'm going to be
taking two hours and seven
minutes to get to Gainesville,
but I'm not going the way they
want me to go.
In the middle of a mile, lap
turn. That would be onto Cr
acker Swamp Road, according to
the readout here. And Cracker
Swamp Road sounds like a really
great place for a Jewish
(09:40):
guy to go. How many guys like
me come out of that place alive
? That would be where I would
think that the Republicans
would want me to go. On to Cr
acker Swamp Drive. How much you
want to bet that goes to Cr
acker Swamp? Yeah. Yeah. Cracker
(10:02):
Swamp. There's East Cracker
Swamp Drive and then there's
West. And now, folks, we're in
East Polacka. Proceed about
one mile. One mile, where they
're going to have me take a
right turn. Let me just get it,
you know, luckily I printed out
some directions from Google
Maps. I have those sitting out.
I'm going to put this down for
a minute. Maybe I'll turn up
(10:23):
the music a little bit here.
[gun shot]
Let's see what's the deal here.
So, 207. Continue on East
Church Street, West Church
Street.
Continue on 207, 207. Okay, I'm
(10:45):
going to go on 207 for another
six miles, then turn right
on State Route 100. And before
then, I'm going to stop and
reprogram this thing. Yeah.
That's
exactly what I'm going to do.
In half of a mile, right turn.
Yeah, in half of a mile,
what I'm going to do is I'm
going to look for a place to
(11:06):
stop. Okay, folks, we're going
to put this thing to rest for a
minute and you guys go to sleep
for a bit. You won't
remember anything when you wake
up. I'm going to pull into this
gas station here. And we
have our houses. Wow. Nice sun.
Cool. And then here we are. All
right, very good.
Okay, you won't remember a
(11:36):
thing. Okay, we're back. That
pause could have been a lot
shorter than it was. I mean, I
could have lifted on because it
took me a lot less time. I
think
that it was basically taking me
to a place in a different city.
(11:57):
And so I think that that's
why the instructions made no
sense. I think that I don't
know where I thought. I had
chosen
the destination by the name of
the restaurant. And I was
pretty sure that I had entered
Gainesville.
But now instead of like a huge
(12:20):
long distance, so what do they
want me to do now? Oh boy.
Junction 17, 50 miles, one hour
and 28 minutes. In two tenths
of a mile, right turn. Okay.
Next right. That's what we're
going to do, folks. We're going
(12:41):
to make us a right turn.
Going north. Well, this is
quite a stretch, but we're
going to do it anyway. Okay, we
're
going to go right. I'm
following your instructions,
honey. Okay, black to two miles
. Yeah, this
is familiar. I've been here
before. This is one of the like
, when you're hitchhiking.
(13:03):
New Orleans. When you're taking
from New Orleans. That was one
of the places where you had to
get out because almost nobody
was going to the beach from
there. So I'd usually stop
at one of those places and get
me a big tall cold can of bush
beer and drink it right there.
We're out there, y'all. I love
(13:23):
the can, the bush beer can. I
used to drink beer then.
Not a lot, but I used to drink
it somewhat. That's where I
would do it because I was
almost
home, basically, at that point.
Almost there. Almost, almost,
almost almost there. So now,
if I'm not mistaken, we're
going to cross the St. John's
River, which is a huge, huge
(13:44):
bridge.
Huge river, actually. And Playa
is a poor place. It's not rich.
And navigating your way through
Black River is not that easy.
But now I've got my, oh, here's
a funeral. Wow. Looked out
there.
Yeah, that's what that is. What
(14:06):
was I going to say? Yeah. But
luckily, with my guidance
system,
Black River would be no problem
at all. It just breeze right
through it. Make a left, make a
right,
make a left, left, right, right
. Here's the bridge. Yep. Here
we come up to the bridge.
And that would be the St. John
's River, which is, I believe,
the inter-coastal waterway.
(14:28):
Ha ha ha. Or a branch of it.
Yep, the St. John's River. It's
not fresh water, I don't think.
It's fresh water. It's huge.
Look at it on the map. Check it
out. Placa. Now it's starting
to rain again.
Yep. Okay. Speed limit 40.
(14:54):
Everybody's slowing down for
some reason. It must be because
the speed limit is 40 miles per
hour.
This is the same river that
goes through Jacksonville. I'm
going to have to look at the
map to see where this thing
ends up.
But sure enough, we're going to
(15:16):
make a left in about eight-t
enths of a mile.
Now the navigation system is
beginning to do a good job
because this is the correct
move. It's calling now for me
to do the right thing.
This is now working. We're now
in a functional relationship,
(15:37):
everybody. Okay, so this is
Second Street.
In half of a mile, left turn.
Uh-huh. Right. Well, what it
called the left was really
going straight. It does that
sometimes. That is so weird.
That is the way it works. Okay,
(15:58):
we're on 17 North and I'm 100
West. We're going to make a
left in...
We're on 9th Street. No, we're
going to make a left on to 9th
Street. So we're passing now. I
don't know if you really care
about it either.
See, this is what they say
podcasting is like really
(16:19):
boring. This is the part they
're talking about.
Well, but I have to do the
drive. You might as well drive
with me. This is what it would
be like.
Left turn ahead. Left turn
ahead on 9th Street. Very good
here. There's a red light on 9
th Street, but a green left turn
.
Now, but this guy is going too
(16:41):
slow. I'm not going to make it.
I'm not going to make it. Am I
going to make it? Am I going to
make it?
Oh, I'm going to cut a little
corner here. Can I make it?
Yeah. Nope. Nope. The light
just turned red.
Okay, we'll just hang out here
and enjoy the blackness scene.
Right. Gainesville 44. I can
see this side.
We're definitely going the
right way. 9th Street is the
(17:01):
right correct turn. Isn't that
nice?
Because they tell you why.
Because if you look ahead,
there's a confusing sign that
says 17 North, 100 West
continues.
Okay, this is West 20. Now I
can turn left now.
The light just turned green.
And this is West 20 and Gaines
(17:23):
ville is 44 miles away. And I
got an hour and a half to get
there.
So I would say I'm going to be
on time in all probability. I
would say yes, sir. I'm going
to be on time.
Now this podcast will be over a
while before I get to Gaines
ville because I'm not going to
talk for 44 minutes.
We know that, right? Does that
(17:45):
have anything to say? It's
worth 44 minutes.
Uh oh, 20 closed through, uh oh
. Oh jeez. Now what? Detour. Oh
my goodness. This is the poor
part of town, folks.
This looks like a poorer part
(18:06):
of any southern town road
closed traffic. Okay, well, it
's going to be more than 44
miles.
Now let's see how my voice
navigation system deals with
this little deal trick here. Uh
oh, what did he do?
I don't want to snap. Uh oh,
what the hell did my friend do?
It's not complaining.
(18:28):
What did you do? Oh, damn. See,
it's a good thing it doesn't
have a personality because
right about now it would be
flipping out.
It should be flipping. It
should be yelling at me. Make a
legal U-turn. Okay, here's my
stop sign.
This is detour at left, like,
(18:50):
left. I went out on 13th Street
in Polacca. Yep, Polacca. Nice
looking town.
I mean, you know, it's poor but
it looks comfortable. I'm sure
you could afford to live here.
I detour right turn, yep. Yeah,
(19:11):
this is cool. I'm glad. Uh huh.
Well, I'm kind of glad we're
taking this detour because now
we get to tour.
That's why they call them det
ours. Detour. This is that, oh,
we're back on the road. We're
back on West 20.
Well, the detour is over. We
got detour. See? Was it worth
(19:35):
it? All that just to get that.
I could have put that on my
blog but I never would have
thought of it. And I certainly
never would have remembered it.
Okay. Hurry, hurry.
(19:59):
I'm on the road loaded with 24,
500 now, 17,990. Thousands less
than any other sport utility on
the market.
Every Azuzu comes with a seven
year, 75,000 mile warranty.
Spin left, go farther.
Daytona and Azuzu at the Dayton
a Automall. 6,000 cars, 217
miles, one huge location.
I-95 to LPGA Boulevard are on
(20:21):
the web at DaytonaAuzuzu.com.
And they say we don't like
advertising.
They say we don't like
(20:51):
advertising.
All right. All right, enough.
(21:29):
So they say we don't like ads.
Well, I guess it all depends. I
mean, if it's an Azuzu ad, sure
. Let's do it.
Okay. I'm looking for a little
doodad thing because I want to
drink some Diet Coke and sort
of space out a little bit.
So I think that my little deal
here is going to be just on
(21:49):
high. It says next turn is in
46 miles. Really?
I don't know if that means the
next turn, but I think we're
running pretty good. It's dead
here.
So I'll catch up with you in a
little bit, okay?
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.