Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
[Trailer]COCOSANTI: And I bought these shoes, and they
were just… They weren't designed for a humanfoot. They're like “Oh, a goat is gonna
be wearing this, it'll be fine.”
[Intro]OF: Welcome to Mosaic of China, a podcast
about people who are making their mark inChina. I’m your host, Oscar Fuchs.
Since the last compilation two weeks ago,we’ve had Singles' Day here in China, which
(00:25):
is the annual event where online stores offerbig discounts to encourage people to… buy
more stuff. So it’s great timing to releasethis special compilation episode on the way
guests from Season 02 of the podcast answeredthe question ‘What is the best or worst
purchase that you’ve made in China?’ Youknow, I was tempted to phase out this question.
(00:46):
Because, well, firstly I myself really don’tenjoy shopping at all. But secondly, it’s
kind of a weird thing to ask someone. Butwhen I was listening back to how people answered
this question, I realised that it seemed toelicit some of the most evocative stories.
So even if you couldn’t care less abouthow people spend their money, I hope you’ll
(01:07):
still enjoy this episode.
[Main][Voiceover]
OF (01:10):
Ajay Jain, the car designer from Episode
21.
[Clip]CC: I have this… you know like, Chinese
(01:35):
or Japanese, they have this cat in the shop,and
it tries to
(02:08):
ask for more money. Yeah, instead I have onethat gives a middle finger. And we drew some
makeup on it and made it look like a blackmetal cat.
Did you buy that on Taobao?
CC
How did you even search for that?
CC
I saw a cat with a middle finger, and I waslike “That looks great.”
(02:32):
That was designed for you.
CC
[Voiceover]OF: Jovana Zhang, the handicrafts designer
from Episode 08.[Clip]
JZ (02:43):
Oh, worst purchase is all over my Taobao.
That’s a range of garbage.
[Voiceover]OF: Stéphane Wilmet, the head of consumer
insights at L'Oreal from Episode 01.[Clip]
SW (02:59):
Ha, I brought to you one of the many worst
purchases I ever made in China. So I will
show you.OF: Ooh an extra object. I like it.
Another object.
OF
Exactly! What the hell is that? I don't
know what it is. It's the type of thing that
you're supposed to use when you want to turnthe rice.
OF (03:19):
Is it? OK.
SW
the skimmer here, and keep the rice. But ofcourse, look at the design.
It’s too small. Yeah.
SW
one of those ‘looks great on the Taobao,but ends up being useless in real life’.
Oh, that's great. That's the first time
someone's brought in their worst object. I
(03:41):
appreciate that. You've elevated the questionnow.
[Voiceover]OF: Jamie Barys, the street food expert from
Episode 02.[Clip]
JB (03:50):
It's kind of boring, but I love it. I
got a Japanese reverse osmosis water subscription.
I hate the giant plastic…OF: …Dispensers
Water 桶 [tǒng] dispensers in the house.
I feel like it's just very distracting. And
I cannot deal with buying lots of plasticwater bottles, I just feel way too guilty
(04:10):
and I think that's horrible for the environment.So we got that installed a couple of years
ago, and it has been fantastic.OF: Chang Chihyun, the humanities professor
from Episode 03.[Clip]
CC (04:22):
Oh my god, I can tell you the best. It's
just happened four days ago. A butchery, a
Swiss butchery, a western butchery. I usedto have my favourite butchery on 五原路
[Wǔyuán Lù]. But that butchery closed,and I was pissed off. I finally found a good
one. A proper butchery. I'm very happy.OF: Well done. I know where it is too, it's
(04:48):
just down my street.CC: Yeah.
[Voiceover]OF: Casey Hall, the fashion journalist from
Episode 22.[Clip]
CH (04:57):
If it's Greater China, the absolute best
gift that I've ever given anyone was an original
Star Wars poster - that was in a cinema inHong Kong in 1978 - of the first Star Wars
movie. My husband loves Star Wars, and hisparents met and married in Hong Kong. I loved
giving it to him. And I told him months andmonths ahead of Christmas that I got him the
(05:19):
best present ever in the history of the world.And he was like “You might want to manage
expectations a little bit. You're buildingit up a lot”. I said “I'm so confident
that this is the greatest present that anyonehas given anyone”.
[Voiceover]OF: Michelle Qu, the improvisational comedian
from Episode 20.[Clip]
MQ (05:37):
Last week, I was going to prepare a gift
for my friend. And I have another friend,
she’s a painter. And she paints pets, yourcat, your dog. And I would like to give a
gift, like a painting, to my friend, fromthis painter friend. And she asked me “Oh,
(05:58):
OK, please show me your cat or your dog'spicture”. I said “No”. “Ah? No cat.
No dog. So what what should I paint?” “Myfriend! Paint my friend as a cat. OK? A black
cat”. And I just sent some pictures of myfriend, and she painted it out! It's a cat,
(06:18):
but it's my friend. When I gave this paintingto my friend, he was like “It’s me!”
OF (06:25):
Oh, wow.
MQ
Wow.
[Voiceover]
Zhang Yuan, the performance art exhibitor
from Episode 07.
[Clip]ZY: So, I love this experience when I work
with some artist and they would give theirpiece of work to me as a gift. So I appreciate
that a lot, I will say, this kind of ‘economyof gifts’.
(06:50):
[Voiceover]OF: Salome Chen, the investor and developer
from Episode 24.[Clip]
SC (06:57):
I'm not really a shopper. I hate going
shopping with girlfriends, that drives me
crazy. So normally, I make a list. I knowwhat I want, I go to the shop, I pick up things,
and I go. The last thing I really liked wasmy ring.
OF (07:12):
Oh, nice. I can see it.
SC
I told my husband “If you buy me a Tiffanyor whatever, I will not marry you”. I was
not nice to him. Every gift he bought me,I was like “Oh, this is expensive”. You
know, “It’s not worth that much”. Iprefer something meaningful. So I told my
(07:37):
husband, I have a friend called Paloma inBeijing. She does the design. And the nice
thing is she even built a factory in Ethiopiato help local people who were dumped by their
husbands who got diamonds and left their families.I was so touched by this story, and her design
(07:58):
is brilliant.OF: And that's the ring.
SC (08:00):
Yeah, that's the ring.
OF
I'm OK, right. If you put romantic meaning
onto these small details, you don't really
get anything big.OF: Right, right.
Yeah.
[Voiceover]
OF (08:16):
Vladimir Djurovic, the brand naming expert
from Episode 13.
[Clip]VD: One surprisingly good purchase was chairs
I bought at IKEA. I bought them 15 years agofor my office, and I keep getting customers
that ask me where I bought it. They thinkit’s super designed and stuff, and it's
(08:38):
just very modern.[Voiceover]
Jiyoung, the transgender teacher from
Episode 30.
[Clip]J: My best purchase is my electric guitar.
Oh.
J
then during the lockdown, I bought it. AndI'm getting back into playing guitar. So that
(08:58):
was very helpful in dealing with the isolationof being quarantined.
And you could rock out here in your apartment
block, or how did it work?
J (09:05):
Yeah, I mean, I had to have headphones,
but it still works.
OF (09:07):
Yes.
J
had fake alcohol, that made me sick for like,two days.
Oh god. And was that here in your city?
Or was it elsewhere?
J (09:19):
Unfortunately it's in multiple cities that
that has happened.
OF (09:24):
Oh no.
[Voiceover]
Katherine Wong, the Peruvian healer from
Episode 04.
[Clip]KW: Definitely my 30 kilos of fake beeswax
was the worst purchase I've ever made.OF: 30 kilos.
KW (09:38):
Yes, I was cheated. They sent me a sample.
I approved the sample. And when they sent
me all these blocks of beeswax, it was fake.They changed it.
OF (09:48):
When you're starting a business, you can't
afford to lose that much, right?
KW (09:51):
No.
OF
No, I was crying.
OF
a nice story after that terrible story?KW: Yeah, I found a good provider, who I have
stuck with until today.OF: Yeah.
Yeah.
[Voiceover]
OF (10:07):
Danma Jyid, the Tibetan social enterprise
leader from Episode 10.
[Clip]DJ: Well, I bought a jacket, and the colour
was quite different from the picture. I triedto return it back, and the guy said “Oh,
you just chose this colour”. And then Iput a comment, I said “The colour is quite
(10:31):
different from the actual picture”. Andthen the guy replied to me immediately, he
said “Delete your comment, and I will letyou return it back.”
So did you do that?
DJ
so yeah.OF: So now you have that jacket still?
DJ (10:50):
Yes. It's a big lesson.
[Voiceover]
OF (10:54):
Cocosanti, the drag performer from Episode
05.
[Clip]C: There are times when I buy things, and
I think to myself, like “I knew this wasn'tgoing to fit”. The worst purchase I ever
made was these shoes. And being like a 47/48in China size, I'm thinking “Oh OK, maybe
I can find something that will fit,” becauseeveryone has all these really nice shoes.
(11:19):
And I have like, three, from the U.S. Becauseit’s the only thing I have. And I bought
these shoes, and they were just… I don'tknow what they were. They weren't designed
for a human foot. They're like “Oh, a goatis gonna be wearing this, it'll be fine.”
It was just shaped so off, and it pinchedin ways that, like, never pinched before.
And stupid me was like “I'm gonna wear thesefor a show. They’re supposed to hurt like
(11:42):
this. It's fine.” Those things were so,so poorly made, the heel snapped.
Oh god.
C
is this made for?”[Voiceover]
Wendy Saunders, the architect from Episode
12.
[Clip]WS: Because I'm a little bit bigger than the
(12:03):
average Chinese person. And my feet are alittle bit bigger. So I used to kind of try
and squeeze my feet in small Chinese shoes.And I think “You know, I can just do it,
I can just do it”. And I'll fit it in, andI'll buy them, and then I would be like walking,
even just out the door, and I couldn't. Youknow… So many things that I gave to 阿姨
(12:25):
[Āyí]…OF: That's the thing, it’s… We're here
in this amazing fashionable city. But yeah,the sizes are not for us.
WS (12:31):
No.
OF
Yeah. It’s just that thing about being
the foreigner. The shoe is like… It kind
of fits, but it doesn't really fit.OF: No.
OF (12:44):
Noxolo Bhengu, the African community organiser
from Episode 14.
[Clip]NB: Skirts.
Oh.
NB
on Taobao.OF: OK.
NB (12:57):
You know, in China I'm a ‘5XL’ apparently.
I don't even, like, feel bad about it because
I'm like “You’re not, honey, you’renot.”
OF (13:06):
But even saying ‘5XL’ is not what
the truth is. The truth is, it's XXXXXL. Just
seeing the five…NB: They make you see the ‘X’s. Like you
follow them. Like these ‘X’s are not ending.So, the worst purchases are skirts. I have
(13:27):
not been able to wear cute skirts in China.Thank you, China.
I love it. Yeah.
NB
[Voiceover]OF: Alex Shoer, the clean energy entrepreneur
from Episode 11.[Clip]
AS (13:42):
The worst was this tent. You know, I like
to do outdoor stuff and camping. So I bought
this tent on Taobao, which I thought was like- you know, reading the descriptions and reviews
- it looks glorious and glamorous. It wasone of those pop-up tents. And I ordered it
for a festival. I'm ready to go, I’ve gotmy tent, of course I didn't really check it
before I went, I just got it and took theplastic off, and brought it. And then of course
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I pop it up, and it's for, like, a five yearold. So the thing was like… Literally, for
three days I slept with, like, half my bodyin a tent and my legs hanging out. And I was
so lucky because it didn't rain that week.[Voiceover]
OF (14:23):
DJ BO, the DJ from Episode 23.
[Clip]
BO (14:28):
I mean, so much music and records that
I've bought while here. And I love my 宝安
[bǎo'ān] jacket as well.OF: What is it, is there one supplier that
supplies all of the 宝安 [bǎo'ān] jackets?BO: You know, I always try to keep this mysterious,
but I'm going to engage with this. So theyhave like, army surplus stores where you can
pick up a hat, and jacket, and I've got awhole collection of things there.
OF (14:50):
Don't worry, I think you're safe. I think
most people won't go out of their way to do
that.BO: Cool. Good.
[Voiceover]OF: Seth Harvey, the education coach from
Episode 19.[Clip]
SH (15:02):
Maybe a gym membership is a great one.
I got a four year gym membership. And exercise
is something that I started doing regularlythat kind of grounds my life, it works as
a balancing factor.[Voiceover]
OF (15:14):
Vittorio Franzese, the lawyer from Episode
27.
[Clip]VF: I have to say I'm really really attached
to the first bicycle I bought in Beijing.It's a proper 胡同 [Hútòng] bike with
huge wheels. I bought it on SmartBeijing fromsomeone who was leaving Beijing after maybe
(15:35):
20 years. It was kind of a rare example ofa 胡同 [Hútòng] bike that people could
use back in the 70s or the 80s. So I reallykept it with care. And I was moving around
the streets of Beijing thanks to this transportation,that I gave to my best friend once I left
Beijing. It’s still there, I still use itwhen I go there for business trips.
(15:56):
[Voiceover]OF: Sean Harmon, the beer company CEO from
Episode 09.[Clip]
SH (16:03):
The best purchase… I’ve listened to
some of your podcasts. And I was really trying
to think of something different. But there'sno better answer than the scooter. I mean,
the scooter is…OF: Oh right.
It shrinks the city. I've had a scooter
since I first arrived, and it's one of my
favourite things to do, just to ride aroundthe city on my scoot. My fiancée also has
a scooter, and we love to cruise. It’s amazing,especially when the weather's nice.
OF (16:27):
What a beautiful, romantic image you’re
giving me.
[Voiceover]OF: Douglon Tse, the island businessman from
Episode 15.[Clip]
DT (16:37):
My scooter. Yeah, I literally just go
around on my scooter looking at sunsets.
OF (16:42):
Nice.
DT
I ever choose to go to another place to expand,to do restaurants, first thing I'm going to
do is buy a scooter and become an 饿了么[Èleme] driver. Because right away I know
who is ordering what…OF: Yeah, that’s…
DT (16:58):
…And what are the wealthiest neighbourhoods.
It's the best market research, by being a
an 饿了么 [Èleme] driver.OF: That's amazing.
[Voiceover]OF: Murray King, the public affairs leader
from Episode 29.[Clip]
MK (17:12):
I bought a 1920s house on 武康路 [Wǔkāng
Lù] years ago.
OF (17:16):
Damn you! You’re one of those people
who got in early enough.
MK (17:19):
I made the brave decision to buy the top
of a 1920s house - a standalone house, the
top part of that house - in about 2005. Andlived in it for seven years, and had a wonderful
experience. And then I sold it. And you knowthe old adage ‘Buy low, sell high’ definitely
applies to real estate in Shanghai.OF: You are not winning any friends right
(17:41):
now.[Voiceover]
OF (17:45):
Jo McFarland, the product sourcing leader
from Episode 18.
[Clip]JM: Well, I made a very fast purchase earlier
this year. So it was Chinese New Year. Andwe have our annual dinner every year, which
is the highlight of the calendar in our office.I'm not part of the entertainment, I have
to judge it, and I kind of MC the evening.So I thought "I'm going to dress up this year
(18:09):
in something Chinese, something nice”. ButI was in a real hurry. So I got a taxi down
to the fabric market. And I went into oneof the shops and I said “Can I have a dress
that’ll fit me? I haven't got time for youto make it, or come back next week. I need
a dress.”OF: Immediately.
JM (18:23):
Yeah, basically immediately. The lady
said “What about this one?” And it was
this red dress. So I went in, tried it on,it fitted like a glove. And I went “That’ll
do.” And I was out of there. And the wholething took about 15 minutes. And anyway I
wore said dress to the annual dinner. Andthe reaction I got from the office - because
(18:43):
I made the effort to wear this dress - wasactually quite touching. Even though it only
took me about 10 minutes to buy it. So itwas the best thing I ever bought. And it wasn't
even expensive. And the quality is excellent.Which is another great thing about China.
OF (18:57):
Fifteen minutes well spent there, Jo.
JM
[Voiceover]OF: Björn Dahlman, the Swedish clown from
Episode 17.[Clip]
BD (19:07):
Magic tricks. Like, I have this wand that
is so tiny, you can hide it in your hand,
and then it becomes two metres. If you wantto buy it in Sweden, you have to pay like
800RMB. And you buy it in China for like 50RMB.And I didn't know any magic when I started
doing the magic show, so I bought things thatgo with the character, like “What can I
(19:28):
do?” I try to make a flower go big, I say“Go big, BAM”, and the wand goes big.
And I look at the flower, getting angry withthe flower. The kid goes bananas, screaming
“Look at the wand! Look at the wand!”I say “Yeah, the wand is big, whatever,
the flower is… Oh my god, the wand is big!”I could never do that in Sweden, because it
(19:49):
would cost me 30,000RMB, which I very muchdon't have. But this show happened in China
because I could buy it. I had two suitcasesfull of magic gadgets that I was just playing
around with.OF: Yeah.
[Outro]OF: Thanks for downloading and listening,
I hope you've been enjoying these extra shows.We're now halfway through these 10 special
(20:12):
compilation episodes from the guests of Season02 of the show, and I hope by now that you've
gotten used to all of their voices. With anyluck, you might also have been persuaded to
go back and take a listen to some of the episodesyou may have missed before.
Speaking of missing, we’re already careeningtowards the end of the year, and it’s making
me reflect on all the people outside of ChinaI’ve missed seeing this year. My problem
(20:38):
is that I’ve had a cold these last coupleof weeks, and when I feel sick I don’t exercise
enough, and I don’t socialise enough. Andwhen that happens, my mental health takes
a hit. I just wanted to share that with you,in case you’re also feeling the same way.
I hope you’re doing well, and I hope thatlistening to this silly episode cheered you
up, in the same way it did for me.
(21:01):
Mosaic of China is me, Oscar Fuchs, with artworkby Denny Newell. See you back here in two
weeks’ time.
[Clips]SW: Thank you very much.
JB (21:12):
Thank you, it’s been a pleasure.
CC
KW (21:14):
Thank you so much.
C
LR (21:17):
Thank you very much.
ZY
JZ (21:19):
Thank you.
SH
DJ (21:21):
Thank you.
AS
WS (21:22):
Thank you.
VD
NB (21:23):
Thank you.
DT
CC (21:25):
Thank you.
BD
JM (21:28):
Thank you very much.
SH
MQ (21:29):
Thank you.
AJ
CH (21:31):
Thank you.
BO
SC (21:32):
Thank you.
MK
CM (21:33):
Thank you.
VF
ZH (21:34):
Thank you for having me.
MK
J (21:36):
Thank you so much.