S4:E5: Choosing Change and Embracing the Journey (with Alex Davis)

What happens when you dare to be brutally honest with yourself and conscious of the choices you make? For Alex, our guest in this episode, it led to an empowering journey—one that took her from a corporate refugee to a financial independence coach for women.

Creating a brave space for women to express their dreams, goals, and fears without judgment became a cornerstone of Alex’s mission. She firmly believes in the power of truth over feelings, and in this episode, she guides us through the process of bridging the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

This episode, rich with wisdom, is sure to resonate with anyone seeking to make conscious choices, build a supportive community, and gracefully navigate life's challenges. Tune in as she shares her gripping journey, the transformation she experienced, and how she found her purpose in helping other women achieve financial freedom and clarity.
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More  About Alex: Alex Davis, CPA, CFP® is the creator and founder of AGA Tax and Consulting Services LLC. She's a highly sought after International Financial Empowerment Coach and Tax Strategist who didn't always have the power of finances working in her favor.  Alex knows the pain and shame of a messy financial house.  As a single mom of 2 brilliant daughters, she pulled herself out of a deep hole of a $50,000 debt to a mountainous $300,000 net worth.  Alex has now made it her life and work mission to not keep this gift of financial clarity and confidence to herself.  She now expertly guides other successful women to get their financial house in order to live a life of freedom on their terms.

Connect with Alex via Instagram | LinkedIn | Facebook | Website

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(00:25):
Hi, Alex, how you doing?

Alex Davis (00:42):
Hey, I'm good.
How are you?

Chantée Christian (00:43):
I am doing well.
Thank you for joining me on mypodcast.

Alex Davis (00:49):
Thank you for having me, I appreciate it yes.

Chantée Christian (00:52):
So before we get too into it, tell the people
a little bit about yourself.

Alex Davis (00:57):
Hey people, I'm Alex .
I'm a CPA and financialempowerment coach and I just
adore Chantée.
That's number one.
And then I spent a decade inpublic accounting and got to the
point that, especially being asingle mom, that I was over it.
I was exhausted, I was run downand I escaped.
So I call myself like acorporate refugee and so maybe

(01:22):
even well, I'm not going to gothere because I don't want to be
charged with blasphemies.
I'm like Harriet Tubman, but Itruly am at now in the place in
my life where I'm wanting tobring as many women with me as
possible, where we are trulyfiguring out what it is that we
want and going after it.
And then my secret sauce is I'mreally skilled at finances and

(01:43):
so really supporting women andseeing and getting clarity with
their finances to say, if allthat BS, this is what I'm going
to my life and I'm going afterit.
That is my passion project, andI have two little mini-me's
that are, well, I guess, my 18year old.
She's not part of the mini-me,but I have an 18 year old and a
four year old, and so I'm justtrailblazing and wanting them to

(02:04):
make sure that they are livinga life that they are proud of
and not forced upon them.

Chantée Christian (02:10):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that a life that theyare proud on and not forced upon
them.
What CPA ever says that.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
No, but I know.

Chantée Christian (02:25):
Well, and I will say that we met back in
2022 at the limitless retreat.
A fan favorite, bridget, wasthere and it was her retreat,
and we met there and I rememberus standing at the kitchen
counter talking about dating,yes, and I was like I love her

(02:46):
and I need more of her energy inmy life.
And then, you know, we've beentalking ever since and you have
been God sent in so manydifferent ways.
But as you talk about yourjourney, what about being
incorporate?
At what point did you realizethe misalignment?

Alex Davis (03:02):
Yeah, I think that was year four, so I spent 10
years in total.
Year four was when I realizedthere was a misalignment and
during that period I lost like25 pounds and it's been a like
less than three months and myhair was shedding like I owned a
cat.
It was bad it was.
I was stressed and so I knew Iwas not right.

(03:23):
I don't think this is normal.
I was a team mom and so, comingfrom team mom, growing up in
poverty, like the income that Iwas receiving in corporate, I
was like I can't leave, I justhave to, I have to figure it out
.
I'm just going to be anaccountant, like I have to
figure this out, like this iswhat I have to do, I have to

(03:45):
figure it out, I have to figureit out.
And I would also say the otherthing when I was in corporate is
I was with a company that madeyou feel like we're a family,
like, and then someone who didnot have my dad in my life, I
was like, oh my gosh, I'm theone who they care about me.
They care yeah.
I'm doing a great job.

(04:05):
They're making lots of money offof me.
And so at year four, when Iknew there was a best alignment
instead of like seeking outsidecounsel, I went into them and
say hey, you know, somethingdoesn't feel right.
And it was oh, maybe go parttime or maybe do all these other
things.
It was like no girl, you needto leave, leave.
Of course they're not going tosay that, but it was year four.

(04:30):
I knew that public accountingfor me was not it.
Yeah, it took six years tofinally get out.

Chantée Christian (04:38):
It took me 15 years to leave.
I had realized that there was amisalignment before then, but,
similar to your story not beinga single mother, however, not
knowing right that there wereother possibilities, that there
was something else that wascapable and available and at my
reach, and so it's somethingthat I talk a lot about on this

(05:01):
podcast, about walking in yourjourney, walking in your purpose
, living your truth.
And you know, part of thatjourney for me was leaving
corporate, and, however, that'snot everybody's truth, and I'll
be the first to say thatcorporate paid for me to be able
to leave those certifications90% of them were paid for by an

(05:22):
employer, and, and that isbecause they were true to the
position that I held in andthey're true to the roles that I
hold now, and I think thatsomething that's really
important for people to hear,though, is that there is a way
to navigate the misalignment tobecome a moral line.

(05:43):
So, when you think about yourlife now, what about it would
you want others to experience?

Alex Davis (05:51):
getting honest with yourself about what it is that
you want.
Like really being able to sitstill and figure that out.
I feel like you take forgranted that oh yeah, I know I'm
doing what I love, but untilyou actually sit still, you
don't really get to see it.
And that's what I would wantfor everyone is the ability to
sit still, analyze where they'reat, think about where they

(06:14):
wanna go recognize that.
It's okay if it changes.
But even just in a moment oftime to be able to really sit
still and say you know what?
This is what I wanna do rightnow, and it be coming from a
place of pure desire notimpacted by what other people
want, what you think people wantyou to have.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
But generally from a place of.

Alex Davis (06:36):
This is how I wanna spend my day.
This is who I wanna spend myday with.
This is how.
This is what I wanna spend myday doing Like really sit in
that, even if you can't do it,but just to even have the vision
, because I feel like you can'tbe given a vision that isn't
possible for you.
So just see the possibility,you know, like that is hands

(06:57):
down, that's what I would wantthem to have, like ooh, that's
good, that's good Right, becauseit feels good, it feels good,
it feels good.

Chantée Christian (07:08):
So how do you help people get to that point?

Alex Davis (07:14):
Most of my clients come to me because I think it's
numbers, it's I'm paying toomuch for taxes or it's a numbers
thing.
So I really just start bygetting them to see, just stop
and really look, and so I reallyhelp them in taking a moment to
.
When you're with me, you have asafe space to just be you.
The heck with everything else,the noise that's going on, what

(07:37):
it is that you want.
And so often when we're workingand we're moving and we're like
we're bad women okay, Like we,and by bad I mean bad ass, okay.

Chantée Christian (07:49):
We are crem-day like crem, we are doing
it.
Oh, crem-day like crem, yes.

Alex Davis (07:53):
Okay, and our friends, we are the people who
they come in.
Hey, what do you think aboutthis?
What do you think about?

Chantée Christian (07:58):
this yes.

Alex Davis (07:59):
But I offer a safe space of look.
You don't have to do all thatwhen you come.
We are just looking at what itis that you want, where putting
truth to power, getting, I wouldsay, fact over feelings.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
What is?

Alex Davis (08:09):
your situation right now.
Where is it that you want to go?
And then I bridge the gapbetween okay, this is where you
truly want to be.
This is right now, factuallywhere you're at.
What's the game plan to getwhere you want to be?
And that's where I supportwomen to just I feel, like I'm a
big cheerleader, so if you tellme that you want to do

(08:30):
something.

Chantée Christian (08:31):
Lord, yes.

Alex Davis (08:32):
What's up?
We are going to make a mistake.

Chantée Christian (08:36):
Lord, yes, I can attest to that personally my
gosh texting me before my eyes,typically open, talking about
well, how did that go?
Well, I didn't do it.
Yet you want accountabilitypartner?
My God, make sure that youreach out to Alex because she is
not playing on games.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Not playing on games.

Alex Davis (08:58):
No, because this is the thing.
We have these visions, andsometimes, especially when you
are the go-to person you're thego-to.
It's like well, who do you goto?
You've already accomplishedthings that people didn't expect
for you.
But you're saying yeah, but Ifeel like there's something else
that I want to do, Even moreout of the norm, and you're the
only one doing it.
You need to say space where youcan go to someone who's like

(09:20):
you know what.
Yeah, I've done all this, but Iwant more.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Yeah.

Alex Davis (09:24):
And I want to work less or whatever it is, and
people are probably looking atyou like you're crazy yeah, the
heart.
And then you need that oneperson that's like I don't know
that you can do it.
And guess what?
I'm going to push you a littlebit to make sure you get it done
, because I know that was inyour heart.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
And I know that you're capable.

Alex Davis (09:39):
And people that are a chance to me.
I don't really know they'recapable because I'm a lot to
handle.
So that's that.

Chantée Christian (09:46):
I love that because so often, especially for
B lack and brown women, we lookaround and we don't see people
where we want to go, or if we do, they're so far out of our
reach when really we actuallyjust don't share within our
communities and with each otherabout the things that are going

(10:07):
on.
You and I were having aconversation the other day and
you were like oh, I completelyunderstand.
I was like what Are you forreal?
And it's just, it's in thosemoments, right, and I was
talking to someone else andsharing that with them a story,
and they were like oh yeah, letme tell you about the time that
I did the exact same thing and Iwas like what?

(10:29):
Why aren't we talking aboutthese things?
But, like you said, we comeinto these spaces with this
armor on of I got to have ittogether and needs to look like
I have it together and having asafe space, whether it is with
your accountant, your coach,your strategist, your thought
partner or whoever and justhaving that brave space.

(10:53):
I won't even say it's safe.
I would say it's brave becauseyou have to be able to let your
guard down and to have a senseof I'm going to be okay with
sharing my information with thisperson and them not using it
against me or bringing it backup, but using it in a way and
helping me push and motivate youknow.

Alex Davis (11:14):
Oh, spot on, spot on , because it's already a
challenge to be vulnerable.
That's already a step to dothat, especially when you're
talking strong black woman.
Oh, I don't ever want to hearthat again.

Chantée Christian (11:25):
I hate that term.

Alex Davis (11:26):
My God you know, no, I'm a damsel in distress Right.
And your teacher then says itAbsolutely I am.
But you already have to show up, and being vulnerable is tough
in itself and then you have to,especially if you have a history
where women have betrayed youor people have betrayed you with
your personal information.

(11:47):
Now you're having to trustsomeone and if you don't know
them, you haven't vetted themenough and how you think you
should vet someone.
It is such a challenge to dothat.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
It is.

Alex Davis (12:01):
There's layers to it .
So it makes sense that peopledon't really share these
experiences because they don'tknow how they'll be judged.
And if you haven't done, I meanI will say this.
Last 18 months has been a lotof inner work and silencing my
credit and the judgment that Igive myself and because of that
now like I'm even betterequipped to not judge people.

(12:22):
It's like we're human.
Lots of people you know, and soit is just amazing to be able to
offer a brave space and I lovethat a brave space, but it is,
it really is.

Chantée Christian (12:34):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that and I love the ideaof building community to
support women, specificallyBecause and I say this a lot
when you look at leadership andleadership books and leadership,
all the tricks and tips andthings men are all over it.

(12:57):
They're all over it and theirexperience in the space is
wildly different.
And then you add on thecomplexity of age, race,
ethnicity, economic, social, youknow backgrounds, just adding
all of the dynamics, you're leftwith a bunch of people who

(13:19):
don't know how incrediblydifficult it is to be a leader
and not be a white, cisgendermale, and I think that's
something that we use a lot forothers is the term allyship.
However, what I believe we do,and something that I think that

(13:44):
Bridget was, maybe indirectly ordirectly, I'm not sure was
doing was creating spaces ofadvocacy and of championship.
Right, that's not even a word,I don't think.
But of championship, yeah,championship, oh, championship.
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, that'sall right.

(14:05):
How many of those numbers?
Yes, I'm pretty sure that's nota word.
At any rate, I think that whatshe was creating was a space of
advocacy and a space wherepeople have an opportunity to
champion and cheer for eachother, and I 100% will, you know
, forever be grateful for thatopportunity because I met so

(14:27):
many sister friends in it and Ihave kept in contact with quite
a few of you and what it's donefor me is that I'm able to see
women that have been where I'mat, women that are at where I'm
at and women that are where Iwanna be, and I was able to see

(14:48):
and experience all of that inone space.

Alex Davis (14:52):
It was powerful.
For me life changing Because,similar to you, I've kept in
contact with several of thewomen and they have I'm not
lying to you when I say changemy life in the span of what has
it been like six, seven monthsor something like that?

Speaker 3 (15:09):
And it's so interesting.

Alex Davis (15:11):
This is the story of a lot of professional,
especially black, women.
I went to a conference a fewweeks ago and it was mainly
attorneys.
I was the only CPA there.
It was about 10, 10 women, allwomen of color, actually her
black women, except one, onewoman with Asian and one.
During one of the sessions weactually had a life coach come
in and one of the attorneys wasspeaking and she said do you

(15:35):
have female friends?
And she, she was like no, mostof my friends are male.
And she said that is a problem.
We a lot of time, us as women,we don't have genuine female
friends that you can talk, thatyou can see, counsel, you can
share experiences with.

(15:55):
And so I shared.
I said you know that's so truebecause prior to my loneliness
experience, I had my friends andmy family that I grew up with,
but outside of that is team, nonew friends, was that?

Chantée Christian (16:07):
Yes, no, new, friends right.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
No, new, friends.

Alex Davis (16:12):
Oh, I don't know this person.
I don't know if I can trust youwith this.
Oh, I can't be vulnerable withyou.
I don't know how you're goingto use this information.
Yeah, they did earlier.
But what I have discovered is alot of times like for me, you
know, I'm single, hey, and Isometimes I thought that it was
like the, the, the man that Iwas like.

(16:33):
Oh, I missed this comfort andso I found I was saying toxic
relationship because of that.

Speaker 3 (16:38):
But once.

Alex Davis (16:39):
I got in community with women who were now pouring
into me and I was able to pourinto them.
Right, you need you, and Iactually was able to exit a
toxic relationship, which is whyI'm single and very eligible.

Chantée Christian (16:54):
Okay, so I think we need to make sure that
people heard Alex loud and clear.
She is single and ready tomingle.
And what state are you in?

Alex Davis (17:06):
Yes, I am in Florida , just south of Tampa.

Chantée Christian (17:10):
Okay, she's in Florida, just south of Tampa,
so if you or someone you knowfits into her her criteria,
sliding to her deal, there yougo.
Don't message me, slide intoher deals directly.
She is single.

Alex Davis (17:24):
We connected over love connection, so I was like
it will be only right to be tomake sure that I mentioned that.

Chantée Christian (17:30):
Listen and I think about you often in this
journey because, again, right,it's this space of vulnerability
and it's this space of beinghonest about where you're at in
a certain space in life,especially when dating,
especially when you are anentrepreneur, especially as a

(17:50):
single mother, especially,especially, especially.
And it feels like, since I'vetalked to you that first time,
that first night, where you werelike I don't know about that,
right?
So that first night is not justyou that have approached me

(18:11):
about dating and all of thethings, and so I actually have a
sticky here.
It's talking about a ebook fordating and it's so funny because
I I bring up like the samething that we're talking about
with community, with black women, and in that space is the same
thing that we don't bring torelationships, so intimate

(18:35):
relationships.
Let me be clear so we do not,we're not open, we're not
vulnerable and we got on ourcapes because we're superwoman
and I don't need you, I don'tneed the whole.
And you just said you weredamsel in distress.
Are you acting like one?
Are you showing up as one?
Are you showing up assuperwoman?
I got this.

(18:56):
Y'all can't see her face.

Alex Davis (18:58):
No, I mean, that is an excellent point.
In my mind I am a damsel indistress, but I can say I don't
embody that.
I need something done, I get itdone.
I don't sit around and waitbecause that has to be like.
That's been my pattern.
And yeah, and you I mean listen, you call me out about that
being vulnerable and open, andall that because it doesn't

(19:22):
always feel safe.
And what if I don't feel safe?
It is for me.
It's like, well, I have toprotect myself.
But what I am learning is thatthere's a fine line asking
question, communicating to whereyou can uncover Okay, is this
potentially a safe space that Ijust haven't communicated to
find out?

(19:42):
And I'm just jumping toconclusions because I'm gonna be
honest, I write whole novelsbefore I've even had a
conversation with someone,sometimes because I'm like I
don't know better.
But I'm learning that thatwon't work.
And when you show up in aretreat with a bunch of coaches,
you will learn how to askquestions, wait for answers, not

(20:04):
just to conclusions, and evenif I don't know, I was
implementing in the back of mymind, in the back of my mind.
You're there, shantay, like whenI'm about to not give someone a
chance.
I'm like wait a minute wait aminute, let me consider If it's
not a hell.
No, it might be, a yes.
Consider why I'm thinking ofsaying the no.
I think about it now, I thinklisten, it will forever be

(20:26):
planted in my mind.

Chantée Christian (20:28):
And just for context, right?
So and I say this to anyonethat's on my dating, and I mean
it from the depths of my soul,all the way, I mean all of the
places.
I mean it because I did it, andI told Alex that if she's
swiping left or right orwhatever the app does, if she

(20:49):
looks at their profile and it'snot a hell, no, no, thank you,
swipe, right.
And she said, oh, I don't knowabout that.
To be fair, she is not the onlyperson that has said that to me
.
Let me explain, though, the why.
What happens is it allows you toget out of your own way of what

(21:14):
you think your man or person issupposed to look like and be
packaged as, and it allows youthe opportunity to practice,
because practice makesimprovement, and the only way to
practice, and the way topractice without feeling like,
oh no, he's not going to call meback, is the practice with
somebody that you want to fenceabout.

(21:34):
Practice with them.
Yes, because you really don'tget it.
You know it is what it is, butyou really don't care that much.
True, it's a true, and so themore you practice and the more
you get ready, and the more thatyou're ready, the more prepared
you are for when the guy isthere.
And the truth of the matter isyou can say and do whatever, and

(21:57):
the guy that's supposed to bethere is going to be there.

Speaker 3 (21:59):
Yes.

Chantée Christian (22:01):
And if you swipe left on him, try to never
go.
No, but it's a true.
But I would say this and Ibrought that up because we don't
show up vulnerable in ourintimate relationships because
it hasn't been a safe spacebefore.
Yes, it's the before part,though, so we're bringing in the

(22:21):
baggage and all of the BS frombefore into right now.
I'll speak for myself.
I am having the most vulnerablemoments in my current
relationship that I've ever had,and I was like I want to reset.
I don't want to do this, Idon't like it, and it's not
because it's not safe, and it'snot because it hasn't been a

(22:41):
warm and welcoming and in abrave and all those type of
things, because I'm like damn,I'm tired.
Now I had to go share and bearmy soul.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Exhausting.
It's exhausting.

Chantée Christian (22:55):
And you know what it's liberating?
Yeah, it is.
It's the same thing.
When you find a really goodgirlfriend, you're like yes,
yeah, yeah, friend.

Alex Davis (23:04):
I've been waiting for this.
I didn't know I needed this sobadly.

Chantée Christian (23:10):
Period and it's just like that with an
intimate relationship when yougive it a chance.

Alex Davis (23:13):
I don't know I got to see this.
Listen, my daily life has neverbeen the same since those
conversations.
They haven't, because I'm awareof it.
So, even if I forget, awarenessis so important because often
you don't even know that you'reoperating in that manner until
someone brings it to yourattention.

(23:34):
Oh my gosh, you're right,absolutely correct.
Yeah, you can explore that youknow you get and ultimately you
get to choose how you take theinformation.
But I just I think once you'reaware you cannot turn it off.
You can't turn it off once youbecome aware of it.
It's like oh dang.

Chantée Christian (23:51):
Alex, you cannot, you cannot.
I tell my clients this all thetime.
Awareness is like a searchlight, like, not a spotlight, but a
searchlight, like once where thepolice are looking for somebody
that broke out, or yeah, like,and it's like, hey, where you
going, but I'm right here, whatyou going to do, and you can
ignore it, but it's always goingto keep coming back until

(24:13):
you've addressed it.

Alex Davis (24:15):
Oh my gosh, that's a great analogy.
It is a pain in the ass, like,let's just be clear.
Yeah, that's what it's like.

Chantée Christian (24:22):
Yeah, it'll hunt you down Once.
Just a little bit of opening.
It's like oh what's up?

Alex Davis (24:32):
That's a really good analogy.

Chantée Christian (24:35):
It is, and it's because awareness allows
you to be able to step intoaction and make conscious
choices.
Right, it is literallyawareness.
It's the first step to change.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah.

Chantée Christian (24:53):
Now, the lack of awareness allows you to walk
around unconsciously livingyour life bitty, bopping around,
thinking that you don't needpeople and that you know all the
things.
And then something happens inan interaction and a space
happens, and it opens up yourworld and sometimes you don't
even realize how much it opensit up until later, until later

(25:19):
and that's like the plump part,and start having those.

Alex Davis (25:21):
Aha, oh, this is what this is about.
And it's funny because it makessense, because most of what is
it like?
80 or 90% of our dailyfunctions are by our
subconscious.
We just get up give or justdrive the work and you're like
wait a minute.
I was supposed to make a lessontoday, but because you're on
autopilot.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
And so that's why awareness is key.

Alex Davis (25:43):
And then, even especially because I work with
women in their finances, it'samazing how, just simply looking
at your spending, that youactually spent on your credit
cards and bank statements Likethat's how I start with clients
Just look at what.
Where did the money go?

Chantée Christian (25:57):
Yeah, you do.

Alex Davis (25:59):
Where did the money go?
And let me tell you somethingthat in itself it wakes people
up and we're like what I mean, Iknow one as a single person
with one child.
When I started like my savingsjourney, I looked and I had
spent $1,500 eating out.
That did not include groceries.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Yep.

Alex Davis (26:18):
One single woman and a child.
My daughter was like $12,$1,500 eating out and I was like
, oh my gosh, like $18,000 ayear.
I'm like, can you still buy acar with $18,000?
Inflation is crazy, but $18,000a year if you spend $1,500

(26:39):
eating out.
When I saw that I said oh no,oh no, I need to change
something.
But it was awareness, whenyou're just spending or when you
just have a certain habit thatyou haven't been brought aware
to.
is that awareness that she'slike, yeah, it's that spotlight,
so y'all may still go out ofhere, but I'm like, oh, wait a
minute now wait a minute now?
Now I'm at three times thisweek.

(27:00):
Is this an alignment with whereI say that I want to go?

Speaker 3 (27:03):
Is this an alignment?
That's?

Chantée Christian (27:06):
good, that's good.
And I will say that activity isnot for the faint of heart.
So, since you had me clutchingmy pearls like what's this?
No, can't be Like wow.
And it's because of operatingfrom a space of oh, it's just

(27:28):
there, Right, it's there andthat's for me.
I can't speak to any of yourother clients, but for me it's
oh, it's there, it's fine.
And then you made me do thatactivity and I was like man,
this is silly, this is silly.
And you know this is this isgreat A trash like what is
happening right now.

(27:48):
Right, and it's not coming froma space like.
I want to be clear, right.
When you're, when you'regetting in alignment in all
spaces, it doesn't always feelgood, no, and nine times out of
10, it's not going to feel good.
It doesn't feel good until yousee a result, right.

(28:09):
So when you think of like, whenI think about an alignment, I
think I'm going to be like man.
I think about my chiropractor.
I don't feel good withinpressing on my back and doing
all of those things, but whatdoes feel good is when I'm able
to stand up and I'm able to walkwithout having to.
Oh wow.
And it's the same thing withfinances.
It's the same thing with lifeand leadership and work and life

(28:33):
and align it with people too.
It is the same thing.
It's a growing pain.

Alex Davis (28:40):
That's what it is Like.
You're being stretched.
You're being stretched theplace you've never been.

Chantée Christian (28:48):
Say so.

Alex Davis (28:48):
That's not going to be comfortable.

Chantée Christian (28:50):
Yeah.

Alex Davis (28:51):
But it seems to the other side of that just knowing
this is part of the journey.
And I think the other thingthat I would probably share with
people is I know it's toughbecause I forget this, too, is
enjoying the journey whileyou're on it.

Chantée Christian (29:04):
Oh yeah.

Alex Davis (29:04):
It's like, so focused on the destination and
what it's supposed to look likeand all these things that you
just like pass through thejourney and not see the growth
and say, oh, you know what, Iused to do that, but now I do
this.
I get my where I ultimatelywant to be, or think I want to
be, because a lot of times youget there and that's not.

(29:25):
That's not where you reallywanted to go, anyways.

Chantée Christian (29:27):
And that's when you call me and I help
coach you through what's goingon.

Alex Davis (29:32):
And you definitely better do that Okay.

Chantée Christian (29:34):
I know, yeah, it's true.

Alex Davis (29:36):
Yeah, just enjoying that journey.
I feel like a lot of times andI'll be very transparent In my
journey during theentrepreneurship it has a look
like I thought it would look,and so there are times where I
deemed myself as being a failure.
Oh my gosh, I didn't bring inthe money that I wanted to bring
in.
But then, when I actuallylooked at my journey, I said, oh

(29:57):
my gosh, but you lost 40 poundsduring this time.
Oh my gosh, you left arelationship that you never
thought you would get out of.
Oh my gosh, you've changed therelationship and how you parent
your children.
So where now their lives aregoing to be changed and less
traumatic?
Like you're thinking that thedestination is this X amount of
dollars in your bank account,but what about all these other

(30:19):
things that you've experiencedon this journey that essentially
you've almost ignored becauseit's not what you thought it
would look like?
And so just please, please,enjoy the journey and give
yourself credit and be ingratitude for the things that
are going well, the things thathave changed, that are
positively impacting your life,and it's crazy because it's not

(30:43):
even just your life.
It's how you impact others,because what I know without a
shadow of a doubt is the impactthat I have left on people, now
that I'm operating in morealignment and my energy is more
positive, like I would not showup.
Show up with genuine love.
I would not have that Like Ihave a lesson that I do.

(31:03):
I do have a lesson that, andI'm like you know what.
My bank account isn't showingit just yet, but it's coming,
it's coming because I've seen it, but just enjoy all those
little pieces in there, becauseI'm like gosh, it's so much
juiciness in it that we skipover, because it's like, well,
I'm not where I want to be yet.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
Yeah.

Chantée Christian (31:22):
Damn, that's good.
One of my friends told meyesterday.
He said the things that youthink are failures, there's
someone else that's looking atthem as significant, huge wins.
Ooh.

Alex Davis (31:37):
And that's a word.

Chantée Christian (31:39):
And he was getting my whole life together
yesterday and when he said it, Isaid you know what You're right
?
I mean, I was like you're right,I surrendered to you being
right and I think that we havegrown up in a culture where it's
not OK to what looks like to usas failure, and we've grown up

(32:01):
in this culture that is not apresent culture.
And something that you mentionedand something that I work with
so many of my clients on, isthat we're so worried about the
end that we don't pay attentionto how we're getting to the end.
And so we got this destinationor this promotion, this dollar

(32:26):
amount, this, this, this, butwe're not worried and focused on
what is literally right infront of us and the next step
that gets us closer and closerto when we get to that thing,
being able to appreciate it andaccept it for what it is,
because the whole time we'vebuilt it up in our heads.

(32:46):
Like you were talking aboutthose stories, we got these
stories of how it's going tolook and how it's going to be,
and that's why half of therelationships that people are in
are trashed, because people aresaying, oh, I really think that
it's going to be like this andit's going to be amazing.
Relationships are suck.
I'm sorry y'all Let me, theydon't suck, but they do, in a

(33:11):
way, from a perspective of theirwork, they are, and we have
this oh when I get a husband.
Oh when I get back up, back up.
Are you ready?
Do you know what that means?
Have you been preparing foryour here and now, for the then?
And nine times out of 10, theanswer is no, because you've

(33:31):
envisioned something and youhave missed the points in the
marks to get in order and getprepared for the thing.
So, yeah, I think the best partof enjoying the journey is
realizing that it is a journey,and so when some people are
driving long distance, theydon't want to stop.

(33:52):
I used to be one of thosepeople, but now my bladder
requires me to stop.
What is the same thing?
You wrote through six statesand didn't stop in three of them
because we got to go, we got toget there.
Well, what would happen if youstopped at a rest stop and

(34:13):
looked at the signage to seewhat was happening?
Or if you stopped at anoverview or somewhere else?
Or enjoying the journey, notjust getting to the destination?

Alex Davis (34:26):
Yeah, and this is near and dear to my heart, and
being on the journey, because alot of times you think about
this destination, you're being alittle bit arrogant if you
think about it because you'renot promised tomorrow.
It's very arrogant to think OK,five years from now, how much
are you going?

Speaker 3 (34:44):
to be here five years .
That's good.

Alex Davis (34:47):
Who's going to be here, oh?

Chantée Christian (34:49):
I know what you mean, that's good.

Alex Davis (34:52):
But and I do this myself, especially when you're
the high achieving women we'relike we've got our checklist,
we've got our goals and ofcourse you want to set goals,
but all we have is here and now.
That's it.
Tomorrow is gone, oh no, yeah.
Yesterday is gone.
Tomorrow ain't here, yet wehave today.

(35:14):
What is it that you can dotoday and really honor yourself
and be in gratitude?
And then I'm like I have tohave a tattoo on my forehead
because I know it.
And I still get into momentswhere I'm like, gosh, this is
what I really wanted to happen.
And as I wait, come back, comeback.
So it's like and it's not tosay that knowing a thing and

(35:36):
embodying and walking the thing,those are totally different
things, but just being aware.
So, when you're like for me,when I'm in those moments of
spiraling it literally happenedto me this morning I could not
get up.
I was just slow moving and Iwas about to be found so fucked
up about it.
You need to do this.
Want, girl, get up and do this?
And I said you know, what.

(35:56):
I'm going to take a breath, I'mgoing to meditate and I'm going
to do what I can.
I said I'm not going to controlmyself.
I'm stressing about somethingthat not do, for you know, I
don't know if tomorrow is here,but right now, right here, my
body is saying you can't moveright now.
And when I looked at thereality situation, there was
nothing that was on fire, thatneeded to be done.
So you know what I mean.
I said my behind them and Iwent to time to do to record

(36:20):
this podcast, and I'm givingmyself grace about it and not
beating myself up.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
Yeah.

Alex Davis (36:24):
You know and it's just really being in those
moments and being in gratitudethat I even have this option, my
bills are paid.
And guess what, even if itbills aren't paid, you probably
know someone that you can go andknock on their door and say,
hey, I need some support rightnow.
Like be OK with that, so thatway you can be in the moment and
not be so stressed and allthese things that.

(36:47):
I saw a post last night 180,000people die from stress a year.

Chantée Christian (36:54):
That's a gracious life.

Alex Davis (36:59):
I said, oh no, I'm not stressing myself, no, and if
you really think about a lot oftimes when you're stressing
myself, it's literally thingsthat if you said and said how
true is that, you will break itdown and realize okay, well, now
I'm just made up a story thatreally isn't true.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
And.

Alex Davis (37:14):
I'm not just stressed about it.
Listen, I've been there.
I still do it, even though Iknow these things.

Chantée Christian (37:20):
Well, and I think that it's important to
also remember that just becauseyou know something doesn't mean
that you're not hardwired to doand to default to something else
, and it doesn't mean that youhaven't learned just because you
default to what you arenaturally programmed to do.

(37:41):
It's how long do you stay therebefore you what some people
would say bounce back, or beforeyou do something different,
right?
So, like what you were sayingis you this morning were like
God, I need to get up, I gottago.
And then you stopped and saidwait, I don't have to do any of

(38:01):
those things, I can just sitright here or lay right here and
just be.
And that was a conscious choice, right?
And that's what awareness does.
Awareness allows you to sayhold up, wait a minute, I want
to do something different.
And then you get to decide doyou do something different or do

(38:22):
you stay with your default?
And the more that you practicedoing that, the more that you
move into reprogramming andre-engineering your thoughts.

Alex Davis (38:35):
Yes, oh, that's really good.

Chantée Christian (38:37):
Yeah.

Alex Davis (38:38):
Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
How long did you stay?

Chantée Christian (38:42):
How long did you stay Right?
There has been no secret.
It's been no secret that I'vebeen in a funk.
However, when I talk into aclient, when I'm on a podcast or
when I'm doing something thatis reminding me why I do it, I
snap out of it because I knowthat I have a choice.

(39:06):
I'm also human, just like youare.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yes.

Chantée Christian (39:11):
I mean hell.
The Dolly Lamas just did amajor slip the other day, so
anything is possible.

Alex Davis (39:16):
I'm not even sure, oh my goodness, Right, right, it
could be worse.
You could be worse.
Oh wow, yeah, you're right.
But I'd say that to say it'sokay to have feelings.

Chantée Christian (39:28):
This conversation isn't one to say,
oh, once you're aware of yourfeelings, you don't have them.
No, not at all.
You absolutely have them.
It's how long do you stick witheach one of them before doing
something different?

Alex Davis (39:44):
Yes, oh my gosh.

Chantée Christian (39:45):
And it's so easy for us to identify toxic
relationships and toxic people,but sometimes we don't realize
how toxic we are to ourselves.

Alex Davis (39:55):
That's all I want to podcast.
Oh, wow, wow, whoa.
You are spot on with that,because even just think about
sometimes the way we talk toourselves in certain instances.
Yeah, oh my gosh, I know.
Like once I became aware of itbecause I didn't realize how the
negative manner in which Ispoke to myself, yeah, and I

(40:16):
said, oh my gosh, you're right,I wouldn't want to talk to
someone like that and hearing it, that's what you're talking to
yourself.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alex Davis (40:29):
Oh gosh, that just hit me different.

Chantée Christian (40:33):
Like and I think about that, especially as
we talk about finances andrelationships, because it's a
relationship with your money andhow you talking to your money,
how you talking to you aboutyour money.
You wouldn't want anybodytalking to your spouse crazy.
Why are you not acting likethat?

Alex Davis (40:50):
over here.
You're spot on and I evenequate.
Like your relationship withmoney.
Like you're dating a partner,like you can't expect to neglect
a partner and I pay attentionto them.
And they're just like oh yeah,I'm right by your side, baby.
I'm not going anywhere, I meanso I guess possibly.

(41:11):
But most partners are going tobe like, ok, well, you're not
giving me attention, let me getsomebody else's attention, or
I'm out of here, but I'll seeyou later.
And that's what happens.
Like the money is literallyyou're not paying attention to
it, it's literally just goingdifferent places.

Chantée Christian (41:28):
Yeah, that's good, that's good, that's some
good stuff right there, friend,that's some good stuff.

Alex Davis (41:34):
Listen.
I'm still recovering from you.
Don't realize you are the toxicone.
I'm still trying to listen.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
I'm trying to pick myself up from that one OK.

Chantée Christian (41:47):
And we are, we are.
It's so easy to point fingersat other people.
It's so easy to be like, ah, itwas them, it was them, ok, but
what about?
What part of it did you play?
And that's something that oneof my friends and I talk about
often is like, well, what partdid you play?
And then, once you get clear onwhat part you played and you

(42:08):
can and not to say that theydidn't have a part too Everybody
has a part Right, and whenyou're aware and honest, it
changes how you move.

Alex Davis (42:21):
I mean it changes how you move and even when you
don't change right away, you'reaware of it.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
Oh yeah.

Alex Davis (42:28):
You are aware of it and you live like that analogy
with the cop and theirsearchlight.
Oh yeah, it's spot on becauseeventually it's going to catch
up with you and it's going to bein the spotlight and you are
caught and you are OK.
I have to change.
And I say, when you have theoption, by choice or by force,

(42:50):
you want to take advantage ofchoosing, because when you're
forced to make some changes, youlack all control.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
And.

Alex Davis (42:57):
I know, come on high , achieving black women.
We like a little bit of controland so if you have the option
to choose how you change, Iencourage you to do that because
the force sometimes you justdon't know what you're going to
get.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
That's a fact.

Chantée Christian (43:15):
That's a fact .
That's a fact and I tell myclients this all the time and we
usually get to a point of it.
But the truth of the matter isyou don't control anything.
We can manage everything betterand better from a perspective
of different from where we're at.

Alex Davis (43:32):
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, you're right, we don't.

Chantée Christian (43:35):
Because when we try to control something,
it's from a space of fear.

Alex Davis (43:39):
Yeah.

Chantée Christian (43:40):
And it's just like squeezing a water balloon
because you don't want it tofall and then it pops, versus
just holding the water balloonand allowing it to be and to
manage it.
You can hold it with both hands, but to add force.
This conversation has been goodto me.

(44:01):
It's been so good to me.
This is good stuff.
So tell me, what would you wantto leave the people with?

Alex Davis (44:13):
I mean at this point probably no one has edges.
So I don't really know ifthere's anything.
I mean the edges are gone.
I mean mine are hanging on by athread.
Thank heaven this is not oncamera.
I guess I would just leave withjust again.
Be honest with yourself, sitwith yourself and truly identify

(44:34):
what it is that you want and beokay changing.
Yeah, just be okay and knowthat you get to choose again and
again, and again and again.
Do not feel like you have to bestuck and I think more
importantly is choose yourself.
They tell you on the airplane,put your oxygen mask on first.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
And.

Alex Davis (44:58):
I cannot count the number of times that in me and
myself included we are makingchoices that are against our
core beliefs, what feels good tous, and it's truly to make
someone else happy andultimately, we can't make other
people happy.
They have to make themselveshappy, enjoy, and all those

(45:18):
things we have to start at home,and so I guess that will be my
final takeaway it's just reallyhone in on what it is that
brings you joy and peace overall peace, and that freedom and
that joy, because that's whatit's about, because when people
are getting your overflow, it'syour overflow and it's just so

(45:39):
much more powerful than youtrying to scrape around.
That would be my final takeaway.

Chantée Christian (45:46):
I love that.
I love that.
Where and how can the peopleget in contact with you if they
wanna work with you, follow you,et cetera?

Alex Davis (45:57):
Yes, I'm on social media.
I'm on Instagram and Facebook,at Alexandria Chanel, underscore
, cpa.
And then for my professionalhotties, I'm only dead.
I'm at Alexandria Davis, cpa.
So definitely check me out andthis has been amazing.

(46:18):
So I say thank you for sharingyour platform and I know this is
changing a lot.
These are conversations thatpeople are not having and they
are important.
They are so important.

Chantée Christian (46:31):
Oh, thank you , and it was your dating handle,
so that just in case we gotsome singles out there that
wanna hit you up.

Alex Davis (46:38):
You know what I actually am not on dating
handles.
I am trusting and believing no,I'm trusting and believing that
I'm connecting with people andletting them know that I'm out
here and so that it's just gonna, and I'm getting out.
Right, I'm leaving the countrythree times this year.
I'm moving around in differentstates.
Look, I'm gonna meet my guy.

(47:01):
I believe it, I'm believing it,so I'm not on any like apps
right now.

Chantée Christian (47:06):
I got to find out when we see her on 90 Day.

Alex Davis (47:10):
Fiancé, I was striping right too much.
I was striping right, wipingright too much.
That's what happened, I swear.

Chantée Christian (47:16):
She lying y'all, and when we see her on 90
Day Fiancé, we gonna know shefound her boo in one of these
countries.
Lord, help us.

Alex Davis (47:23):
No, no, no, no, no.
Only day US citizens, that issomething that perhaps I need to
work on, but my grandmotherstarved me for life with that.
I really need a US citizen,also for tax write-off purposes,
it's just much easier that wayas well.
So I was.
By the way, can't look at that,but it's the truth.

Chantée Christian (47:46):
Thank you so much for joining me on my
podcast, alice.
I just don't know what I woulddo without you in my life, and
I'm so, so, so, so, soappreciative of all the energy
that you bring to everythingthat you do and how you are on
this mission to help womencurate these lives that they

(48:09):
want, and so I just wanna saythank you.

Alex Davis (48:11):
Thank you, thank you , thank you.
This has been great.

Chantée Christian (48:18):
Thank you for listening to this week's
episode of the my Best Shiftpodcast.
I enjoyed talking with Alexabout being fully present, all
while honoring ourselves.
For more information or ifyou'd like to reach out to us,
please visit at mybestshiftunderscore LLC on Instagram.
Remember, stop doing shit thatdoesn't serve you.

(48:39):
See you later.