April 12, 2025 • 38 mins
What do you get when a business appointment turns into a 3-hour conversation, unexpected sparks fly, and a new relationship unfolds with no roadmap? You get this episode.
In this intimate and wildly entertaining conversation, host Chantée Christian sits down with Darien Eberhart — her real-life partner — to unpack the beautifully unscripted story of how they met, connected, and grew into something more. From their first encounter at a bank (spoiler: someone was definitely flirting) to navigating the chaos of dating a solo entrepreneur, this episode goes beyond the highlight reel to explore what it really takes to show up for someone else while building yourself.
They talk candidly about:
- 💼 The unfiltered truth of dating an entrepreneur
- 🧠 How men and women process relationships very differently
- 💬 Why communication is the ultimate love language
- ❤️🔥 The value of emotional safety and showing up as your full self
- 👶🏾 Co-parenting with maturity and intention
- 🧭 And why following your gut might just be the best relationship advice you’ll ever get
No scripts. No filters. Just vibes, growth, and a whole lot of laughs.
Connect with Darien via FK Bodega | Instagram
Tag us & share your biggest takeaway using #MyBestShiftPodcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chantée Christian (00:03):
Welcome to the My Best Shift podcast.
I'm your host, ChantéeChristian.
In today's episode, I'll betalking about entrepreneurship,
resilience and the power ofsupport systems with Darien.
Hi Darien, how are you doingtoday?
Darien Eberhart (00:19):
I'm good, Chantée, how are you?
Chantée Christian (00:22):
I'm doing good.
So before we get too far intoour conversation, why don't you
tell the people a little bitabout you?
Darien Eberhart (00:28):
I'm Darien, I guess.
Tell them about myself.
What do I do?
A little bit of everything.
Just a kid from New York Intophotography, into finance, and
just dabble into a little bit ofeverything.
Chantée Christian (00:42):
Yes, and amongst my friend group you are
known as the banker.
Darien Eberhart (00:51):
It's like a killer movie.
Like the accountant, I can't.
That's funny.
Chantée Christian (00:58):
So a lot of people often want to know how we
met, and so when I tell them myversion, they're always curious
about your version.
Darien Eberhart (01:08):
So tell the people how we met roughly,
roughly, try to walk into thebank like we don't have work to
do.
To come open your businessaccount.
Like we don't go byappointments Wait.
Chantée Christian (01:21):
Is this how we're going to start the story?
Darien Eberhart (01:25):
This is all the people.
That's not just you.
Chantée Christian (01:28):
Everybody does it.
This is your story.
Darien Eberhart (01:29):
Everybody walks in like we're just supposed to
be waiting for them.
But yeah, you came and openedyour business account, kind of
just navigated you through that,and then that's how we met.
Chantée Christian (01:39):
Uh-huh.
And so because then people arelike oh so, like you were like
trying to pick me up while youwere working, and I would say no
.
However, when I think back,maybe, yes, how do we think back
?
Y'all can't see his face.
You didn't want to leave, wewas done.
Whoa, wow, okay, all right.
So now it's time for me to tellmy side, because you out here
(02:01):
wild, that's not what happened.
I mean kind of the account wasdone.
I didn't know that, though.
How was I supposed to know?
Darien Eberhart (02:08):
I gave you everything.
You put the folder away, youdid everything you needed
anything else, and then you saidno and we just was
chit-chatting.
This was my last appointmentfor the day, so I had time to
kill.
Chantée Christian (02:20):
Oh, so then the truth comes out.
You had time, I was at work.
Darien Eberhart (02:24):
I had nowhere to go.
Chantée Christian (02:28):
Okay, so let's get this story straight.
So yes, I did come in there,expecting to be able to walk in
and do what I needed to do.
However, allegedly you werebusy and the only person that
could open said account, so Iwas like all right, fine.
And then what?
Later I find out, should havetaken 45 minutes, took almost
three hours.
(02:49):
You held me hostage.
Darien Eberhart (02:50):
No, it took 45 minutes.
We were done.
Chantée Christian (02:54):
So what I'm gathering here?
Darien Eberhart (02:55):
And you did not want to leave.
Chantée Christian (02:57):
Okay, so what I'm gathering here is that we
had a really good conversation.
It was a really goodconversation and it's like oh
wait, what time is it?
Darien Eberhart (03:04):
It's almost time for me to go home.
I said, man, we have to go.
Bank is about to close.
Chantée Christian (03:11):
Jesus be a whole fence.
This is so extra, because thatis not what happened.
Darien Eberhart (03:16):
Well, you started off when I tried to
kidnap you and adopt you and youwas taken.
Chantée Christian (03:21):
So it falls in alignment.
So we meet at the bank.
We have a good connection,although I will say that I had a
ulterior motive to hook you upwith one of the podcast fan
faves, janae, and I didn't tellyou that, though, but I told her
(03:42):
and so so I was like, ok, howam I going to get them in the
same room at the same time?
And it didn't work out the waythat I thought it would, and so
then we synced up for a businessmeeting.
Darien Eberhart (04:00):
That's after I got you into the event.
Chantée Christian (04:03):
Yeah, you got me into the event and then you
hit me with a do you mind if Itext you?
And I was like, yeah, sure,whatever, so that we could
coordinate the time and the datefor our meeting.
And next thing, I know I feellike you were shooting your shot
at our meeting.
Darien Eberhart (04:19):
Okay.
Chantée Christian (04:20):
You don't recall that.
Darien Eberhart (04:22):
I was having a conversation, you was telling me
about the event.
Yeah, I texted you because youwas talking about non-work stuff
on work stuff.
Chantée Christian (04:29):
It's work stuff to me.
So let's be clear, just listen,they don't pay me to do that,
okay, so to be fair, let's bevery clear.
You and our first conversationgave out like so many gems and
so many things that I felt likewas so valuable, and so I doing
the thing that I do best.
I went and told people about it.
(04:49):
I was like, listen, you need todo this.
You got to do this.
This is what he told me to do,and one of my friends,
specifically, was like yo, youhave a platform.
You should get him to talkabout that.
I was like you're right, Ishould.
And so then that's why Imessaged you, and so for me, it
was work, like what they pay youfor that's y'all business.
I don't know nothing about that.
Darien Eberhart (05:11):
So exactly, so you can't say it's not work,
they're not going to pay me todo that.
They're not going to pay me toattend events.
Chantée Christian (05:18):
And that's fair.
And so that was what we werethere to talk about was my event
and how you could support itand be a part of it.
And let's let the story be veryclear that you looked me up and
down.
It was like, oh, you're cute,as if you did not know that when
we first met.
You don't even remember.
I know I'm better.
Darien Eberhart (05:38):
That's all.
You look cute.
I can't get that.
Now was the shoot of my shot.
I could just give you acompliment.
Chantée Christian (05:43):
Well, I would say that I didn't realize it
was you shooting your shot untilmuch later in the conversation.
Darien Eberhart (05:48):
It was just a compliment.
Chantée Christian (05:50):
Oh, okay, just a compliment.
Darien Eberhart (05:52):
All right, cool , and that's how you took it.
That's how it made you feelwhat we can talk about it Wait,
wait back up, what?
Chantée Christian (06:03):
No, when you said it, I thought to myself of
course I'm cute, why would hesay that?
Okay.
And then when we sat down andwe talked and whatever, I was
like okay.
Now, meanwhile, janae wassaying are you sure he's not
into you?
And I was like yeah, I'm sure.
I was like I just need to gety'all in the same spot at the
same time.
This is going to be perfect.
(06:30):
And then by the time I leftStarbucks, I was like nah Slim,
I take it back.
You might have been right.
You might have been right, butI'm curious, right.
So it's been almost a yearsince we first met and you have
seen me in this entrepreneurialspace of, I would say, what
feels like a struggle year, butyou've been a part of that.
(06:53):
What is it like dating somebodywho is a solo entrepreneur,
specifically me?
Darien Eberhart (07:00):
Solo entrepreneur, mm-hmm.
But you got a team, thoughwe're not by yourself, who is
the team?
I don't know, it's just yourpersonalities.
Who are the people?
Oh, wow, it's like a realsupport role, right.
Like you got your highs, yougot your lows.
(07:21):
Dei went away trying to findways, you know, like hey, maybe
I don't know, try this, orthere's only so much I can do,
because I'm not.
Even though we have businesses,we're not in the same field, so
like I could talk from abusiness aspect, but I don't
know the world, how it navigatesand how you get these contracts
(07:41):
and verbatim what to say,because it's just not my
wheelhouse.
It's just, you know, beingsupportive, being the sounding
board.
Sometimes you just be venting.
I'm like, yeah, it's crazy.
Chantée Christian (07:55):
I do be venting my gosh.
Yeah, it's just like alright,what's next?
Darien Eberhart (08:00):
I get that didn't work out, so I figure out
what's next, that's interesting.
I think that didn't work out,so I figure I'll wait next.
Chantée Christian (08:04):
That's interesting.
I think that that had been achallenge with dating before is
being an entrepreneur, because Ithink that it's been
over-glorified, and so a lot ofpeople feel like it's this, like
amazing rainbows andbutterflies all the time, when
sometimes, and then other timesit feels like a flood, tsunami,
(08:27):
like it is not happening the waythat you think, and so I think
that over the years that havebeen like a challenge for me
when it came to dating wasfinding somebody who not
necessarily understood butsupported the space yeah, you're
an entrepreneur.
Darien Eberhart (08:42):
I understand that, that You're always
grinding, you don't have officehours.
You can't afford to have officehours, right?
So it is what it is.
Chantée Christian (08:50):
Yeah, for sure, my sleeping habits are
horrendous.
Darien Eberhart (08:54):
I'm not even going to ask.
We already know it's like wait,you was up until when.
Why?
That sounds crazy.
Chantée Christian (09:00):
Who else going to do it?
Darien Eberhart (09:01):
Just you.
Chantée Christian (09:02):
Yeah, so if you were to give out some dating
advice, because there's somepeople out here let me get my
words right it's ghetto.
The dating streets are ghetto.
It is a pool of just nastiness,a cesspool, and so how do you
(09:27):
recommend or provide some sortof advice to people who are
trying to navigate that?
Darien Eberhart (09:31):
I don't know, Like doctors, you just got to
stay strong.
I don't know what advice Besupportive, empathetic.
Chantée Christian (09:42):
So okay, let me back up.
So before me, what did yourequire for support, as it
looked like a Black man dating?
Darien Eberhart (09:53):
What did I require for support?
I don't know.
Chantée Christian (09:57):
What did you need?
Do y'all not do that?
Darien Eberhart (09:59):
Nah, I just gotta get it Like, if that don't
work, then I gotta figure itout.
Like, if that don't work, thenI got to figure it out.
Like, if that don't work, thenI got to figure it out.
Like, I mean, it's just, it'sno, I need a support system.
Maybe I need to be able tocommunicate with you.
I need to be able to talk toyou, right, I need to be able to
have a conversation.
The support is nice, but is itrequired?
(10:21):
Not necessarily.
It might be other things thathappen outside of that.
I don't know, it's a mixture ofall.
The biggest support is just tobe able to communicate.
Chantée Christian (10:30):
Okay, because I mean, like when I think about
it right, like I think aboutwomen, we get together to talk
about what went well, whatdidn't go well, what we could
learn from.
I was just curious, like, doy'all, as men, have that same
kind of like support system?
Darien Eberhart (10:47):
No, no, oh, y'all not together.
Alright, you wanna go out.
You wanna go Like it'sdifferent, we don't.
Chantée Christian (10:54):
I feel like that's unfortunate.
I feel like y'all need some ofthat, because like it's an
opportunity to retrospect,because, sometimes, speaking
from my own experience, if,because, sometimes speaking from
my own experience, if somebodyhad sat down and told a couple
people some things, maybe theywould be better for the next
person.
Darien Eberhart (11:10):
Somebody sat down and told you but listen, as
a person receiving thatinformation, you take that as
wisdom and guidance.
Chantée Christian (11:22):
Or you take that as who the fuck are you to
talk to me like this?
Darien Eberhart (11:27):
No, so I think you would come like that if like
, but you have to have thatcommunication.
You got to have that type ofrelationship to be able to say
that you communicate that way.
Chantée Christian (11:34):
Fair.
I mean because, like Most ofthe times, y'all don't have to.
Most of the times it's notthere.
Okay, this is giving me what Ithought it would give.
Darien Eberhart (11:45):
Oh, you came up with a game plan.
Chantée Christian (11:47):
I thought y'all were more nuanced than
this.
No, I didn't have a game plan,but in my mind I was like, ooh,
we're going to crack the code on, like trying to help some
friends out.
You know they out here looking.
I'm trying to help my girls andguys.
Darien Eberhart (11:59):
Stop looking in all the wrong places, oh Lord.
Chantée Christian (12:04):
What they need to go to the bank, like
what the Make an appointmentfirst though, all right, cool,
cool, cool.
I got that, I got that, so Idon't know.
Darien Eberhart (12:16):
That's a mystery that would never be
cracked.
Like you, trying to crack thatis a mission on its own.
It must be the soleentrepreneur in you to go for
the toughest assignments, huh.
Chantée Christian (12:27):
But wait, is it your degree in
entrepreneurship?
Darien Eberhart (12:31):
It is.
Chantée Christian (12:32):
Wait, how are you coming for me?
Darien Eberhart (12:34):
I'm just saying I'm not a sole entrepreneur, oh
excuse me.
I'm a side entrepreneur.
Chantée Christian (12:41):
Fair.
Darien Eberhart (12:42):
You're very strong and courageous to do it,
like you jumped in both feet.
I'm just dipping the toe to seethe temperature.
It's ghetto, it's all ghetto.
Chantée Christian (12:51):
It's all ghetto.
Darien Eberhart (12:52):
Yeah, oh my gosh, okay, it's ghetto, it's
all ghetto.
Chantée Christian (12:54):
Yeah, oh, my gosh, okay.
So what is something thatyou've learned about me over
this year that you would say islike kind of like a surprise,
like surprise?
Darien Eberhart (13:06):
surprise, that's a surprise, mm-hmm, I
don't know.
Like that's to say that I camein with expectations and you
surprised me with something.
When everything is just is open, as the you know, the
experience goes on.
You learn new things.
Surprise, surprise, you don'tsleep.
Chantée Christian (13:27):
The shots that are being fired right now.
Darien Eberhart (13:30):
It's me wanting to surprise.
I'm like man.
You can't function on 30minutes of sleep.
That's just not.
Chantée Christian (13:37):
That is an exaggeration, Okay 45.
No, but you said something thatis interesting.
Right, like you didn't comeinto this with any expectations,
and I think that that's soimportant when dating, because I
think that expectations are aone way road to um frustration.
(13:58):
Frustration, right, elaborate,elaborate.
Darien Eberhart (14:05):
Feel it Because , like, if I got this set
standard of you in my mind andyou don't fit the mold and you
get mad because I don't fit themold that you expect, like you
know, people get mad because youdon't say something right that
you expect, like you know,people get mad because you don't
say something right.
You having a conversation yougo with, I'm going to tell them
this and they're going to saythis Well, you didn't give me
the script for me to know mylines, so I can't be in this
(14:26):
scene with you because I don'tknow my lines.
That's good.
Yeah, there was no setexpectation.
Everything is a surprise.
Chantée Christian (14:37):
I don't know.
I know I know nothing going in.
That's fair.
Well, I remember one of thequestions you asked me like
early on.
You were like what's your crazy, or something like that.
Like I was like what.
You were like everybody's crazy, like what's your?
Darien Eberhart (14:50):
oh yeah, what's your level?
Chantée Christian (14:51):
yeah, where you're on the radar and I was
like what type of question isthis?
And I was like then it made methink.
I was like maybe just a little.
A lot sometimes it depends,because I'm like most of the
time I like to think I'm prettychill chill is like chill to me
(15:13):
is like level 3.
Wow, I mean I don't think Icould ever be a one like.
That is just not in my not inmy dna, right like I get happy
and sing about food.
Like that's not normal you know,yes, those things excite me,
right and so like I feel likethat's not normal.
(15:34):
However, I also feel like I'mnot the woman.
That's gonna be like banging onyour door because you ain't
answered the phone when I called.
You know what I'm saying.
Now I might call you or I mighttext you and be like hey yo,
where you at what happened, butit's not like I'm hunting you
down like that to me is likelevel 10 type of crazy okay, so
you fluctuate between two andseven or two and eight?
Darien Eberhart (15:59):
I'm just like I think you were trying to answer
the question but didn't quiteanswer the question.
Chantée Christian (16:04):
I don't think I answered it when you asked.
I mean, I think that I am asolid four.
Some days I'd be a lower,sometimes higher.
Darien Eberhart (16:13):
No, yeah, so that's not a solid four.
You in the range, he uses awindow there.
Chantée Christian (16:20):
So what is your perception?
What is your?
I said two, seven, yo seven,okay, so what's a seven to you?
Darien Eberhart (16:28):
A seven to me, I see.
So when you did that was aseven, ha ha, hold on, I don't
know.
Chantée Christian (16:35):
I don't know, colby, oh, okay, hold on, hold
on listen the reaction.
Darien Eberhart (16:42):
Okay, that's your story go ahead alright,
it's the reactions okay and likeyou started out at 2-3 and over
the course of the time withdealing with this man to try to
get this job, you metered, youpeaked at a seven.
You definitely like you,probably like, just tapped it
Like ugh, like you.
(17:03):
Just you tapped a seven.
I didn't say you stayed atseven, but you used 6.8.
You rounded up to at leastseven.
I think you like you skimmed itwith the tip of your finger or
fingertip or fingernail, justscraped it at the very least.
Chantée Christian (17:18):
Oh my God, and I can't stop laughing
because I know exactly whatyou're talking about.
Darien Eberhart (17:24):
I can't deny it .
Chantée Christian (17:26):
I can't deny it.
That's fair.
That's a fair assessment,that's fair, and I think that
one of the things that I canappreciate about my growth over
the years is that I didn't startoff there.
Darien Eberhart (17:41):
No, you didn't start there.
Chantée Christian (17:43):
No, no, no.
But I'm saying like for meperspective, like that's growth
for you.
No, it is because I realizedlike I extend so much grace to
people, specifically because ofthe work that I do.
I'm constantly dealing withthem and so by the time I get to
that point like they have justtaken my nerve as what my
(18:04):
grandma used to say, my lastnerve and rattled that joint
into pieces and just thrown it,and the next thing I know I'm
crashing out, as the kids say.
Darien Eberhart (18:13):
Well, not crashing out, I'm crashing out.
I'm like I don't know what elseto say.
Well, not crashing out, I'mcrashing out.
Chantée Christian (18:16):
I'm like I don't know what else to do.
Yeah, that's funny.
Oh, my goodness, that was goodIf because you've been married
before right.
Darien Eberhart (18:27):
Mm-hmm.
Chantée Christian (18:27):
What would you say was like one of the
biggest lessons that you learnedfrom that experience.
Darien Eberhart (18:35):
Noticing the red flags in the beginning and
communicating, got to payattention to those flags.
Those are very important flags.
Chantée Christian (18:42):
That was a quick answer Okay, red flags.
And so were you saying thebeginning of like the
relationship, or just along theway?
Darien Eberhart (18:52):
The beginning of the relationship.
Along the way, I mean somethings and I guess it's to that
you know, maybe because I wasyounger, but like, oh, it'll
change over time, things willget better.
You know what I mean.
You keep the optimism alive,but you just also got to do a
reality check, Like if it ain'tworking.
It ain't working, it's not evenmore so, like in the
(19:13):
relationship, or it's justmainly in for yourself.
Chantée Christian (19:16):
Yeah, I've heard a lot of people say that
they've stayed for their kids or, like even my parents, They've
stayed together until I went tocollege.
Both of them say they stayedfor me and I was like y'all
could have left and it wouldhave been fine.
But like when you think aboutthe, I mean I think it's
braveness to be able to say youknow what, Let me separate for
(19:41):
the betterment of our child.
But like when you think aboutthen versus now, what would you
tell yourself back then aboutwho you are now and the lessons
that you've learned?
Darien Eberhart (19:54):
He's going to be all right.
Chantée Christian (19:57):
He who yeah be all right, he who, yeah, he
who.
Darien Eberhart (19:59):
Yeah, when you have kids, it's like the kids
will adapt.
It's going to be tough in thebeginning, but not having that
chaotic environment growing upas a kid makes a huge difference
too, right?
So all that is trauma ischildhood trauma, right, granted
, I left, but he always with me,so like I ain't out to pitch
(20:21):
him.
It's just we don't listen, itain't you.
We just don't live together andhaving that talk with a
five-year-old is tough becausethey don't understand.
But you know, constantlycommunicating,
over-communicating, like hey,how are you feeling?
Checking in, all those thingswork.
So if I knew that early in thebeginning, I would have probably
(20:42):
left earlier.
He's good, we're good, you knoweverything works out.
Chantée Christian (20:48):
Yeah, I was telling one of my friends about
how I don't know if I've evertold you this.
actually I didn't realize that Ihadn't been with somebody that
knew how to have a maturerelationship with their child's
other parent, like to actuallyco-parent, like not the crazy
(21:10):
back and forth and yeah, all ofthat drama that I have been
exposed to, and even, like in myfriend group, some of them are,
you know, going through thingswith their co-parents where I'm
just like ain't, no way, ain't,no way, ain't, no way, ain't, no
way.
And then when I met you, I waslike I think they're friends.
This is weird, but it was likeit was so out of the norm of the
(21:34):
toxic behavior that I had seenwhere I was like yo, they ought
to do a class because this shitis, they talk Like they are
friends.
Darien Eberhart (21:42):
And that's the thing.
Like we were friends before youknow what I mean.
And we talk, we went throughlife experiences as fucking
young adult, young parents andwe have this interest at the kid
.
We have the same interest, likewe got to make sure the kid is
good right.
At first it was not like this,but over time it's like hey, you
(22:06):
know what I mean, it's biggerthan us, right, it's bigger than
about whatever we have, but westill have to make sure he's
good Because, shoot, when I left, he was with me every weekend,
he was with me during the week,like he was always with me.
I was going to take him with me.
If she wasn't going to fight meshe'd probably kill me, but I
was going to take him with me.
(22:27):
Like, that's just who.
I am right, and most of thetime it's just to communicate.
It's the person too, it's thepeople.
You hear stories, you seethings and dad's not really in
the picture X, y or Z because hechooses not to be.
But that's not the case.
Chantée Christian (22:45):
Yeah, it's one of the things that I admire
most about you Because, as anon-self-proclaimed daddy's girl
, I think everyone else has saidit.
I don't have to say it.
You don't need to say it foryourself.
I don't need to say it formyself.
How?
Darien Eberhart (23:01):
do you say what I'm saying, just like that.
Chantée Christian (23:05):
My daddy, but like I know firsthand what it
feels like to have parents thatcare about you as an individual
and so that they're willing tosacrifice so much just so that
you have everything that youcould ever imagine having.
And I don't mean that from amaterial perspective, I mean
(23:28):
that from a like trying tominimize the trauma as much as
possible, even though you willstill end up having a therapist,
because even that has its ownthing to it.
Darien Eberhart (23:40):
But there's nothing wrong with that, right
yeah, sometimes a therapist is astranger sounding board that
you just get everything off ofbecause you just need to
function.
Chantée Christian (23:49):
Yeah.
Darien Eberhart (23:51):
Therapy wasn't a thing growing up as a kid.
Ain't nothing wrong with you,you just learn how to
self-manage.
Chantée Christian (23:59):
Yeah, and we had.
I'm surprised we've gotten thisfar into the podcast and you
haven't called me country orsaid something wild about Listen
you said what your grandmothersaid She'd take your nerve and
rattle it around.
Darien Eberhart (24:09):
I didn't have to.
I didn't have to mention itbecause that was real country.
It rattled a nerve around likeit got beans in it or something.
Chantée Christian (24:18):
Okay, all right, okay, all right.
Darien Eberhart (24:20):
Okay, if your nerves rattle, you need to see a
doctor.
Chantée Christian (24:26):
This is my whole nerve.
Nerves rattle.
You need to see a doctor, Idon't disagree, but it's like
you know.
So I laugh at that.
Because we grew up different,right.
Like you grew up in a city, Forthe most part I've grown up in
the burbs, you would say thecountry.
Darien Eberhart (24:41):
I would say the burbs.
Yeah, yeah, that's not listen,it's not about trees and dirt.
Chantée Christian (24:46):
Oh my gosh drama, okay, anyway, the point
here is that, even though wegrew up differently, we have a
lot of similarities with how wecommunicate and I think that,
from my perspective, that hasbeen helpful for us, because I
know that there could be timeswhere I feel like it could be a
(25:08):
difficult or an emotionalconversation, but we both just
come back to center and like itnever becomes a thing.
Darien Eberhart (25:17):
You know what I mean because it doesn't need to
be.
Well, there's no reason why asimple question, or even a
question about, like, how youfeeling or getting clarity,
should alter anyone's emotionwait, say it again I can't come
to you and ask you a question.
You get upset because I'm askingyou a question, right?
Or you shut down because I'masking you a question, right, or
(25:37):
you shut down because I'masking you a question.
I want to know.
That's why I ask, because Idon't know.
It's very rare that I ask aquestion that I know the answer
to.
So, with that being said, as aperson receiving the question,
I'm like okay, she's unsure, shedoesn't know.
How can I communicate how I'mfeeling without being I guess
(25:59):
people don't like to feelvulnerable?
Chantée Christian (26:01):
Big facts, big facts.
Darien Eberhart (26:04):
So that could be the problem Trusting people
in your space.
Those are all therapy issuesthat you gotta go to somebody
else, but I can't.
I don't have the answers toweigh.
Chantée Christian (26:15):
But you know what?
I think that that's important,though, because no matter how
much therapy you go to, nomatter how much coaching or
community you have, there aregoing to be things that come up
that you're unsure what to dowith them.
Do with them Like, for example,when you talk about
vulnerability, like if I thinkabout my past relationships or
(26:37):
anything like that.
You have been the first personthat I feel like I can be me
around, like I'll dance in thekitchen, and then I'll turn
around and you're looking at meand I'll laugh instead of
feeling like embarrassed or like, oh no, he saw me.
It's like you saw me and you'relooking like what you good, I am
(27:01):
I am, I see right, but I don'tfeel judged in it, and so then I
feel like, okay, I can continueto show up, and show up fully
as me and not in likecompartments of me, if that
makes sense.
Understandable.
So I feel like it also has tobe the other person helping
cultivate a space that allowsfor the vulnerability, allows
(27:26):
for the transparency to grow.
Darien Eberhart (27:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's all about having that
communication.
Yeah, you don't come out andsay, hey, can I feel vulnerable
around you, right?
You show the person, you showthe person that it's more about
the actions than the words, Iguess.
Chantée Christian (27:43):
To summarize it, yeah, for sure, and I think
that as a woman, it'schallenging at times to like let
your guard down and be in aspace to be like all right see
me as a human being.
Okay, human being.
Darien Eberhart (28:01):
Listen as a person like, and that's where,
like, when you see things fail,things don't work out because
people either don't know how tobe vulnerable or just got their
guard up because they wasalready hurt, right, those are
usually the two instances.
Oh yeah, instances, oh yeah,for sure.
So, like, it's all aboutcomfort level.
You gotta feel comfortable tobe vulnerable, right.
(28:23):
You gotta feel comfortable toreally say how you're feeling
yeah, yeah.
Chantée Christian (28:26):
So what's your level of comfort with me?
Scale of one to ten, one beingnot at all ten being out of this
world how is ten out of thisworld?
Darien Eberhart (28:34):
what's five?
Wait what who made this girl Imade it how's one?
How's one and ten?
Ten is out of the world, six isin the sky.
What are we doing?
Chantée Christian (28:52):
it's high, but not as high as ten, alright
on a scale of one to five, thenfive being, what are we doing?
Darien Eberhart (28:59):
Oh my goodness, it's high but not as high as 10
.
On a scale of 1 to 5, then no,no, you can do 10.
No, no, what's 1?
, what's 5?
Chantée Christian (29:03):
I'm listening .
1 is like non-existent 5.
Darien Eberhart (29:06):
And if we do?
Chantée Christian (29:06):
it.
Wait, is this a scale of 1 to 5or 1 to 10?
Darien Eberhart (29:09):
Oh, carl, whatever is your world, what do
you want to do?
What are we doing?
Chantée Christian (29:13):
Ten, ten feels good.
Darien Eberhart (29:15):
Yeah, all right .
So ten is out of the world, andwhat's five?
Chantée Christian (29:19):
Five is like in the middle, kind of like meh.
Darien Eberhart (29:23):
Okay, seven Eight.
Chantée Christian (29:26):
I'll say eight.
Okay, what would take it to anine?
Darien Eberhart (29:35):
I don't know, I have no idea.
Why are you asking me thesequestions?
Chantée Christian (29:37):
It's the look on your face.
Darien Eberhart (29:39):
I don't know Like you ask that question with
me really having to answer.
I don't know.
Chantée Christian (29:49):
I'm curious.
Darien Eberhart (29:51):
I don't know.
Chantée Christian (29:54):
What's your level?
I knew that was coming.
I would probably say an eight,an eight.
We'll take it to a nine.
Oh, more time.
I feel, like we've gone through, not even gone through.
I feel like we've justexperienced some life together,
like you know, like all theseasons and things.
(30:14):
Yeah, because you'd be almostdying oh my, he is talking about
my allergies for those.
Well, actually I was sick a lotover the year.
Yeah, I had to.
Yeah, yeah, wait, a minute.
Wait, what is happening?
Darien Eberhart (30:33):
here Still got to worry in that bubble.
Chantée Christian (30:37):
I do.
I think it's time.
I think the more that we get tospend time together and the
more that we get to learn abouteach other, the more that the
comfort just goes up.
Hearing that you didn't have aplayground where you were in
middle school blew my mind.
I was like oh my goodness.
Darien Eberhart (30:55):
Because I'm from the city.
We played on the concretesidewalks.
That was recess.
Chantée Christian (31:00):
I know, but like you sharing that experience
with me, I was like, oh, wow,this is interesting.
Darien Eberhart (31:06):
Yeah, you had that game.
Does that tell the ball?
We smacked the ball around thepole.
That was a non-existing game inNew York.
This kind of exists.
I was like why is there a ballto a pole?
What is this?
But it was like yes.
Chantée Christian (31:21):
I was like it's so fun.
What are you talking about?
But I think it's stuff likethat right, Like literally, like
getting to know you andcontinuing to get to know you.
I think that it allows it togrow a little bit for me.
Darien Eberhart (31:36):
Were you winning when you played teleball
?
Chantée Christian (31:38):
Okay, we're not doing this.
I was just asking, yes, I waswinning.
I keep telling you I was talluntil I wasn't Huh.
I was tall until I wasn't, Iwas the same height.
I've been the same height sinceseventh grade, right so which
means I was tall for a long timebecause everyone else was short
(32:03):
, and then, all of a sudden, Igot left behind.
Darien Eberhart (32:09):
So you went from always being the back of
the line.
Chantée Christian (32:13):
Yeah.
Darien Eberhart (32:14):
To being in the front of the line.
Yeah, to being in the front ofthe line Having to sit down.
Chantée Christian (32:19):
You had to sit down on the floor.
You won't find one of those.
You got to dig real deep tofind one of those pics.
Darien Eberhart (32:29):
I don't have any of those.
Chantée Christian (32:31):
Okay, so tell the people how tall you are.
Darien Eberhart (32:35):
Taller than you .
Chantée Christian (32:36):
Wow, how much taller than me.
Probably like a foot and somechange.
Literally.
It is outrageous.
I'm offended.
So before I ask you the lastquestion to wrap us up, what
would you tell yourself a yearfrom now, Because you're getting
(32:57):
ready to turn 40.
You're about to walk into 40.
What's happening?
Aren't you getting ready towalk into 40?
What do you mean?
What's happening?
Darien Eberhart (33:05):
27.
Okay.
Chantée Christian (33:07):
So you're getting ready to walk into 40.
What is it that you want40-year-old Darien to know?
Huh?
Darien Eberhart (33:17):
What do I want a 40-year-old me to know?
I guess I would say continue tobet on myself right.
Continue to especially likecareer-wise, life-wise go with
your gut feeling.
Stick with your gut.
You know, when you don't gowith your gut decision, you
always think back like damn, Ishould have did this.
I'm like I knew I should havedid that.
Continue to go with the gutright, because that's going to
lead you to where you want to go.
(33:38):
We already know.
If it don't work out, we alwaysgot to pivot.
There's always another way,another exit.
So let's take it over your gut.
Chantée Christian (33:46):
I like that.
I would offer a 40-year-old youto enjoy life fully.
It's for anyone.
It's something magical thathappens when you turn 40.
That can feel not so magical atfirst and then, if you sit back
(34:07):
and you start to embrace it,it's like, oh, this is pretty
dope.
This is all right, because I'llbe the first to say my 40s at
first felt like grade A trash.
I wanted a refund, I wanted togo back to my 30s, but it was
because it wasn't the life I hadplanned.
Right, it wasn't where.
Darien Eberhart (34:25):
I had thought I was going to be.
Chantée Christian (34:27):
You wasn't following your gut, yeah, yeah,
or I didn't trust that mefollowing my gut was exactly
where I was supposed to be.
Darien Eberhart (34:35):
You don't want to know until you get there.
Chantée Christian (34:37):
Right, yeah, so I would say that that would
be my in the 40s already adviceto you.
Darien Eberhart (34:44):
Yeah, that's good.
That's good advice.
I thought you were going to saysomething different, but that's
good.
Chantée Christian (34:48):
You would say take naps.
Darien Eberhart (34:50):
That'll be a subscription for Tiger Bomb.
What are your Amazon followers?
Chantée Christian (34:53):
That'll be a subscription for Tiger Bomb.
What are your Amazon followers,Yo you?
Make sure it's notauto-replenish.
Tiger Bomb deep blue.
You gotta make sure you're good.
Darien Eberhart (35:09):
Listen, we need promos.
Chantée Christian (35:12):
I can't Okay.
So we've covered quite a fewthings in this conversation
today, or today, whatever timethe people listen to us.
What would you like to leavethe people with?
Darien Eberhart (35:25):
Yeah, I guess he took my wrap up.
It's just, you know, followyour intuition, go with your gut
, live regret free.
If you want to do it, you haveintent to do it, just do it.
If it don't work out, you canalways come back.
You can always go back to thedrawing board.
You can always go back in thecorporate.
It's harder right now buthopefully, three, four, whatever
(35:47):
how much time we got Threeyears, four years, hopefully in
four years you know it'll be allright, right, maybe.
Stay positive, yeah.
So follow your intuition, gowith your gut feeling,
communicate and enjoy life.
Chantée Christian (36:03):
Yeah Well, I thank you so much for joining me
on my podcast and, becauseyou're a side entrepreneur, tell
the people where they can findyour side entrepreneurial stuff.
Darien Eberhart (36:20):
Go to my Instagram.
Life of a fat kid is literallylife of OF A fat kid on
Instagram Links to my Shopifystore in there.
You know portraits, paintings.
You know when I'll be outside,we outside Right, so and that's
it.
You want me to do somefinancial classes.
(36:41):
I don't know if I'm ready forthat yet.
Chantée Christian (36:44):
Oh, I think you are, but we'll have to.
We'll get you ready Because Ithink it's important.
I really do.
I think that the way youdeliver it in Laming terms yeah,
it resonates.
Darien Eberhart (36:56):
Yeah, Growing up, they don't teach us about
this right.
Chantée Christian (37:00):
Yeah.
Darien Eberhart (37:01):
When I find it, I share it.
Chantée Christian (37:03):
Yeah, awesome .
Thank you so much for being onmy podcast.
Darien Eberhart (37:08):
Thank you for having me.
It's been fun.
Chantée Christian (37:11):
Yes, I enjoyed talking with Darien
about the unexpected waysconnections can form.
His insights on the importanceof communication in both
business and relationships wereinvaluable.
Thank you for joining us andremember to stop doing shit that
(37:31):
doesn't serve you.
For more information or ifyou'd like to reach out to us
via visit on Instagram.
See you later.
Welcome to the My Best Shift podcast.
I'm your host, ChantéeChristian.
In today's episode, I'll betalking about entrepreneurship,
resilience and the power ofsupport systems with Darien.
Hi Darien, how are you doingtoday?
Darien Eberhart (00:19):
I'm good, Chantée, how are you?
Chantée Christian (00:22):
I'm doing good.
So before we get too far intoour conversation, why don't you
tell the people a little bitabout you?
Darien Eberhart (00:28):
I'm Darien, I guess.
Tell them about myself.
What do I do?
A little bit of everything.
Just a kid from New York Intophotography, into finance, and
just dabble into a little bit ofeverything.
Chantée Christian (00:42):
Yes, and amongst my friend group you are
known as the banker.
Darien Eberhart (00:51):
It's like a killer movie.
Like the accountant, I can't.
That's funny.
Chantée Christian (00:58):
So a lot of people often want to know how we
met, and so when I tell them myversion, they're always curious
about your version.
Darien Eberhart (01:08):
So tell the people how we met roughly,
roughly, try to walk into thebank like we don't have work to
do.
To come open your businessaccount.
Like we don't go byappointments Wait.
Chantée Christian (01:21):
Is this how we're going to start the story?
Darien Eberhart (01:25):
This is all the people.
That's not just you.
Chantée Christian (01:28):
Everybody does it.
This is your story.
Darien Eberhart (01:29):
Everybody walks in like we're just supposed to
be waiting for them.
But yeah, you came and openedyour business account, kind of
just navigated you through that,and then that's how we met.
Chantée Christian (01:39):
Uh-huh.
And so because then people arelike oh so, like you were like
trying to pick me up while youwere working, and I would say no
.
However, when I think back,maybe, yes, how do we think back
?
Y'all can't see his face.
You didn't want to leave, wewas done.
Whoa, wow, okay, all right.
So now it's time for me to tellmy side, because you out here
(02:01):
wild, that's not what happened.
I mean kind of the account wasdone.
I didn't know that, though.
How was I supposed to know?
Darien Eberhart (02:08):
I gave you everything.
You put the folder away, youdid everything you needed
anything else, and then you saidno and we just was
chit-chatting.
This was my last appointmentfor the day, so I had time to
kill.
Chantée Christian (02:20):
Oh, so then the truth comes out.
You had time, I was at work.
Darien Eberhart (02:24):
I had nowhere to go.
Chantée Christian (02:28):
Okay, so let's get this story straight.
So yes, I did come in there,expecting to be able to walk in
and do what I needed to do.
However, allegedly you werebusy and the only person that
could open said account, so Iwas like all right, fine.
And then what?
Later I find out, should havetaken 45 minutes, took almost
three hours.
(02:49):
You held me hostage.
Darien Eberhart (02:50):
No, it took 45 minutes.
We were done.
Chantée Christian (02:54):
So what I'm gathering here?
Darien Eberhart (02:55):
And you did not want to leave.
Chantée Christian (02:57):
Okay, so what I'm gathering here is that we
had a really good conversation.
It was a really goodconversation and it's like oh
wait, what time is it?
Darien Eberhart (03:04):
It's almost time for me to go home.
I said, man, we have to go.
Bank is about to close.
Chantée Christian (03:11):
Jesus be a whole fence.
This is so extra, because thatis not what happened.
Darien Eberhart (03:16):
Well, you started off when I tried to
kidnap you and adopt you and youwas taken.
Chantée Christian (03:21):
So it falls in alignment.
So we meet at the bank.
We have a good connection,although I will say that I had a
ulterior motive to hook you upwith one of the podcast fan
faves, janae, and I didn't tellyou that, though, but I told her
(03:42):
and so so I was like, ok, howam I going to get them in the
same room at the same time?
And it didn't work out the waythat I thought it would, and so
then we synced up for a businessmeeting.
Darien Eberhart (04:00):
That's after I got you into the event.
Chantée Christian (04:03):
Yeah, you got me into the event and then you
hit me with a do you mind if Itext you?
And I was like, yeah, sure,whatever, so that we could
coordinate the time and the datefor our meeting.
And next thing, I know I feellike you were shooting your shot
at our meeting.
Darien Eberhart (04:19):
Okay.
Chantée Christian (04:20):
You don't recall that.
Darien Eberhart (04:22):
I was having a conversation, you was telling me
about the event.
Yeah, I texted you because youwas talking about non-work stuff
on work stuff.
Chantée Christian (04:29):
It's work stuff to me.
So let's be clear, just listen,they don't pay me to do that,
okay, so to be fair, let's bevery clear.
You and our first conversationgave out like so many gems and
so many things that I felt likewas so valuable, and so I doing
the thing that I do best.
I went and told people about it.
(04:49):
I was like, listen, you need todo this.
You got to do this.
This is what he told me to do,and one of my friends,
specifically, was like yo, youhave a platform.
You should get him to talkabout that.
I was like you're right, Ishould.
And so then that's why Imessaged you, and so for me, it
was work, like what they pay youfor that's y'all business.
I don't know nothing about that.
Darien Eberhart (05:11):
So exactly, so you can't say it's not work,
they're not going to pay me todo that.
They're not going to pay me toattend events.
Chantée Christian (05:18):
And that's fair.
And so that was what we werethere to talk about was my event
and how you could support itand be a part of it.
And let's let the story be veryclear that you looked me up and
down.
It was like, oh, you're cute,as if you did not know that when
we first met.
You don't even remember.
I know I'm better.
Darien Eberhart (05:38):
That's all.
You look cute.
I can't get that.
Now was the shoot of my shot.
I could just give you acompliment.
Chantée Christian (05:43):
Well, I would say that I didn't realize it
was you shooting your shot untilmuch later in the conversation.
Darien Eberhart (05:48):
It was just a compliment.
Chantée Christian (05:50):
Oh, okay, just a compliment.
Darien Eberhart (05:52):
All right, cool , and that's how you took it.
That's how it made you feelwhat we can talk about it Wait,
wait back up, what?
Chantée Christian (06:03):
No, when you said it, I thought to myself of
course I'm cute, why would hesay that?
Okay.
And then when we sat down andwe talked and whatever, I was
like okay.
Now, meanwhile, janae wassaying are you sure he's not
into you?
And I was like yeah, I'm sure.
I was like I just need to gety'all in the same spot at the
same time.
This is going to be perfect.
(06:30):
And then by the time I leftStarbucks, I was like nah Slim,
I take it back.
You might have been right.
You might have been right, butI'm curious, right.
So it's been almost a yearsince we first met and you have
seen me in this entrepreneurialspace of, I would say, what
feels like a struggle year, butyou've been a part of that.
(06:53):
What is it like dating somebodywho is a solo entrepreneur,
specifically me?
Darien Eberhart (07:00):
Solo entrepreneur, mm-hmm.
But you got a team, thoughwe're not by yourself, who is
the team?
I don't know, it's just yourpersonalities.
Who are the people?
Oh, wow, it's like a realsupport role, right.
Like you got your highs, yougot your lows.
(07:21):
Dei went away trying to findways, you know, like hey, maybe
I don't know, try this, orthere's only so much I can do,
because I'm not.
Even though we have businesses,we're not in the same field, so
like I could talk from abusiness aspect, but I don't
know the world, how it navigatesand how you get these contracts
(07:41):
and verbatim what to say,because it's just not my
wheelhouse.
It's just, you know, beingsupportive, being the sounding
board.
Sometimes you just be venting.
I'm like, yeah, it's crazy.
Chantée Christian (07:55):
I do be venting my gosh.
Yeah, it's just like alright,what's next?
Darien Eberhart (08:00):
I get that didn't work out, so I figure out
what's next, that's interesting.
I think that didn't work out,so I figure I'll wait next.
Chantée Christian (08:04):
That's interesting.
I think that that had been achallenge with dating before is
being an entrepreneur, because Ithink that it's been
over-glorified, and so a lot ofpeople feel like it's this, like
amazing rainbows andbutterflies all the time, when
sometimes, and then other timesit feels like a flood, tsunami,
(08:27):
like it is not happening the waythat you think, and so I think
that over the years that havebeen like a challenge for me
when it came to dating wasfinding somebody who not
necessarily understood butsupported the space yeah, you're
an entrepreneur.
Darien Eberhart (08:42):
I understand that, that You're always
grinding, you don't have officehours.
You can't afford to have officehours, right?
So it is what it is.
Chantée Christian (08:50):
Yeah, for sure, my sleeping habits are
horrendous.
Darien Eberhart (08:54):
I'm not even going to ask.
We already know it's like wait,you was up until when.
Why?
That sounds crazy.
Chantée Christian (09:00):
Who else going to do it?
Darien Eberhart (09:01):
Just you.
Chantée Christian (09:02):
Yeah, so if you were to give out some dating
advice, because there's somepeople out here let me get my
words right it's ghetto.
The dating streets are ghetto.
It is a pool of just nastiness,a cesspool, and so how do you
(09:27):
recommend or provide some sortof advice to people who are
trying to navigate that?
Darien Eberhart (09:31):
I don't know, Like doctors, you just got to
stay strong.
I don't know what advice Besupportive, empathetic.
Chantée Christian (09:42):
So okay, let me back up.
So before me, what did yourequire for support, as it
looked like a Black man dating?
Darien Eberhart (09:53):
What did I require for support?
I don't know.
Chantée Christian (09:57):
What did you need?
Do y'all not do that?
Darien Eberhart (09:59):
Nah, I just gotta get it Like, if that don't
work, then I gotta figure itout.
Like, if that don't work, thenI got to figure it out.
Like, if that don't work, thenI got to figure it out.
Like, I mean, it's just, it'sno, I need a support system.
Maybe I need to be able tocommunicate with you.
I need to be able to talk toyou, right, I need to be able to
have a conversation.
The support is nice, but is itrequired?
(10:21):
Not necessarily.
It might be other things thathappen outside of that.
I don't know, it's a mixture ofall.
The biggest support is just tobe able to communicate.
Chantée Christian (10:30):
Okay, because I mean, like when I think about
it right, like I think aboutwomen, we get together to talk
about what went well, whatdidn't go well, what we could
learn from.
I was just curious, like, doy'all, as men, have that same
kind of like support system?
Darien Eberhart (10:47):
No, no, oh, y'all not together.
Alright, you wanna go out.
You wanna go Like it'sdifferent, we don't.
Chantée Christian (10:54):
I feel like that's unfortunate.
I feel like y'all need some ofthat, because like it's an
opportunity to retrospect,because, sometimes, speaking
from my own experience, if,because, sometimes speaking from
my own experience, if somebodyhad sat down and told a couple
people some things, maybe theywould be better for the next
person.
Darien Eberhart (11:10):
Somebody sat down and told you but listen, as
a person receiving thatinformation, you take that as
wisdom and guidance.
Chantée Christian (11:22):
Or you take that as who the fuck are you to
talk to me like this?
Darien Eberhart (11:27):
No, so I think you would come like that if like
, but you have to have thatcommunication.
You got to have that type ofrelationship to be able to say
that you communicate that way.
Chantée Christian (11:34):
Fair.
I mean because, like Most ofthe times, y'all don't have to.
Most of the times it's notthere.
Okay, this is giving me what Ithought it would give.
Darien Eberhart (11:45):
Oh, you came up with a game plan.
Chantée Christian (11:47):
I thought y'all were more nuanced than
this.
No, I didn't have a game plan,but in my mind I was like, ooh,
we're going to crack the code on, like trying to help some
friends out.
You know they out here looking.
I'm trying to help my girls andguys.
Darien Eberhart (11:59):
Stop looking in all the wrong places, oh Lord.
Chantée Christian (12:04):
What they need to go to the bank, like
what the Make an appointmentfirst though, all right, cool,
cool, cool.
I got that, I got that, so Idon't know.
Darien Eberhart (12:16):
That's a mystery that would never be
cracked.
Like you, trying to crack thatis a mission on its own.
It must be the soleentrepreneur in you to go for
the toughest assignments, huh.
Chantée Christian (12:27):
But wait, is it your degree in
entrepreneurship?
Darien Eberhart (12:31):
It is.
Chantée Christian (12:32):
Wait, how are you coming for me?
Darien Eberhart (12:34):
I'm just saying I'm not a sole entrepreneur, oh
excuse me.
I'm a side entrepreneur.
Chantée Christian (12:41):
Fair.
Darien Eberhart (12:42):
You're very strong and courageous to do it,
like you jumped in both feet.
I'm just dipping the toe to seethe temperature.
It's ghetto, it's all ghetto.
Chantée Christian (12:51):
It's all ghetto.
Darien Eberhart (12:52):
Yeah, oh my gosh, okay, it's ghetto, it's
all ghetto.
Chantée Christian (12:54):
Yeah, oh, my gosh, okay.
So what is something thatyou've learned about me over
this year that you would say islike kind of like a surprise,
like surprise?
Darien Eberhart (13:06):
surprise, that's a surprise, mm-hmm, I
don't know.
Like that's to say that I camein with expectations and you
surprised me with something.
When everything is just is open, as the you know, the
experience goes on.
You learn new things.
Surprise, surprise, you don'tsleep.
Chantée Christian (13:27):
The shots that are being fired right now.
Darien Eberhart (13:30):
It's me wanting to surprise.
I'm like man.
You can't function on 30minutes of sleep.
That's just not.
Chantée Christian (13:37):
That is an exaggeration, Okay 45.
No, but you said something thatis interesting.
Right, like you didn't comeinto this with any expectations,
and I think that that's soimportant when dating, because I
think that expectations are aone way road to um frustration.
(13:58):
Frustration, right, elaborate,elaborate.
Darien Eberhart (14:05):
Feel it Because , like, if I got this set
standard of you in my mind andyou don't fit the mold and you
get mad because I don't fit themold that you expect, like you
know, people get mad because youdon't say something right that
you expect, like you know,people get mad because you don't
say something right.
You having a conversation yougo with, I'm going to tell them
this and they're going to saythis Well, you didn't give me
the script for me to know mylines, so I can't be in this
(14:26):
scene with you because I don'tknow my lines.
That's good.
Yeah, there was no setexpectation.
Everything is a surprise.
Chantée Christian (14:37):
I don't know.
I know I know nothing going in.
That's fair.
Well, I remember one of thequestions you asked me like
early on.
You were like what's your crazy, or something like that.
Like I was like what.
You were like everybody's crazy, like what's your?
Darien Eberhart (14:50):
oh yeah, what's your level?
Chantée Christian (14:51):
yeah, where you're on the radar and I was
like what type of question isthis?
And I was like then it made methink.
I was like maybe just a little.
A lot sometimes it depends,because I'm like most of the
time I like to think I'm prettychill chill is like chill to me
(15:13):
is like level 3.
Wow, I mean I don't think Icould ever be a one like.
That is just not in my not inmy dna, right like I get happy
and sing about food.
Like that's not normal you know,yes, those things excite me,
right and so like I feel likethat's not normal.
(15:34):
However, I also feel like I'mnot the woman.
That's gonna be like banging onyour door because you ain't
answered the phone when I called.
You know what I'm saying.
Now I might call you or I mighttext you and be like hey yo,
where you at what happened, butit's not like I'm hunting you
down like that to me is likelevel 10 type of crazy okay, so
you fluctuate between two andseven or two and eight?
Darien Eberhart (15:59):
I'm just like I think you were trying to answer
the question but didn't quiteanswer the question.
Chantée Christian (16:04):
I don't think I answered it when you asked.
I mean, I think that I am asolid four.
Some days I'd be a lower,sometimes higher.
Darien Eberhart (16:13):
No, yeah, so that's not a solid four.
You in the range, he uses awindow there.
Chantée Christian (16:20):
So what is your perception?
What is your?
I said two, seven, yo seven,okay, so what's a seven to you?
Darien Eberhart (16:28):
A seven to me, I see.
So when you did that was aseven, ha ha, hold on, I don't
know.
Chantée Christian (16:35):
I don't know, colby, oh, okay, hold on, hold
on listen the reaction.
Darien Eberhart (16:42):
Okay, that's your story go ahead alright,
it's the reactions okay and likeyou started out at 2-3 and over
the course of the time withdealing with this man to try to
get this job, you metered, youpeaked at a seven.
You definitely like you,probably like, just tapped it
Like ugh, like you.
(17:03):
Just you tapped a seven.
I didn't say you stayed atseven, but you used 6.8.
You rounded up to at leastseven.
I think you like you skimmed itwith the tip of your finger or
fingertip or fingernail, justscraped it at the very least.
Chantée Christian (17:18):
Oh my God, and I can't stop laughing
because I know exactly whatyou're talking about.
Darien Eberhart (17:24):
I can't deny it .
Chantée Christian (17:26):
I can't deny it.
That's fair.
That's a fair assessment,that's fair, and I think that
one of the things that I canappreciate about my growth over
the years is that I didn't startoff there.
Darien Eberhart (17:41):
No, you didn't start there.
Chantée Christian (17:43):
No, no, no.
But I'm saying like for meperspective, like that's growth
for you.
No, it is because I realizedlike I extend so much grace to
people, specifically because ofthe work that I do.
I'm constantly dealing withthem and so by the time I get to
that point like they have justtaken my nerve as what my
(18:04):
grandma used to say, my lastnerve and rattled that joint
into pieces and just thrown it,and the next thing I know I'm
crashing out, as the kids say.
Darien Eberhart (18:13):
Well, not crashing out, I'm crashing out.
I'm like I don't know what elseto say.
Well, not crashing out, I'mcrashing out.
Chantée Christian (18:16):
I'm like I don't know what else to do.
Yeah, that's funny.
Oh, my goodness, that was goodIf because you've been married
before right.
Darien Eberhart (18:27):
Mm-hmm.
Chantée Christian (18:27):
What would you say was like one of the
biggest lessons that you learnedfrom that experience.
Darien Eberhart (18:35):
Noticing the red flags in the beginning and
communicating, got to payattention to those flags.
Those are very important flags.
Chantée Christian (18:42):
That was a quick answer Okay, red flags.
And so were you saying thebeginning of like the
relationship, or just along theway?
Darien Eberhart (18:52):
The beginning of the relationship.
Along the way, I mean somethings and I guess it's to that
you know, maybe because I wasyounger, but like, oh, it'll
change over time, things willget better.
You know what I mean.
You keep the optimism alive,but you just also got to do a
reality check, Like if it ain'tworking.
It ain't working, it's not evenmore so, like in the
(19:13):
relationship, or it's justmainly in for yourself.
Chantée Christian (19:16):
Yeah, I've heard a lot of people say that
they've stayed for their kids or, like even my parents, They've
stayed together until I went tocollege.
Both of them say they stayedfor me and I was like y'all
could have left and it wouldhave been fine.
But like when you think aboutthe, I mean I think it's
braveness to be able to say youknow what, Let me separate for
(19:41):
the betterment of our child.
But like when you think aboutthen versus now, what would you
tell yourself back then aboutwho you are now and the lessons
that you've learned?
Darien Eberhart (19:54):
He's going to be all right.
Chantée Christian (19:57):
He who yeah be all right, he who, yeah, he
who.
Darien Eberhart (19:59):
Yeah, when you have kids, it's like the kids
will adapt.
It's going to be tough in thebeginning, but not having that
chaotic environment growing upas a kid makes a huge difference
too, right?
So all that is trauma ischildhood trauma, right, granted
, I left, but he always with me,so like I ain't out to pitch
(20:21):
him.
It's just we don't listen, itain't you.
We just don't live together andhaving that talk with a
five-year-old is tough becausethey don't understand.
But you know, constantlycommunicating,
over-communicating, like hey,how are you feeling?
Checking in, all those thingswork.
So if I knew that early in thebeginning, I would have probably
(20:42):
left earlier.
He's good, we're good, you knoweverything works out.
Chantée Christian (20:48):
Yeah, I was telling one of my friends about
how I don't know if I've evertold you this.
actually I didn't realize that Ihadn't been with somebody that
knew how to have a maturerelationship with their child's
other parent, like to actuallyco-parent, like not the crazy
(21:10):
back and forth and yeah, all ofthat drama that I have been
exposed to, and even, like in myfriend group, some of them are,
you know, going through thingswith their co-parents where I'm
just like ain't, no way, ain't,no way, ain't, no way, ain't, no
way.
And then when I met you, I waslike I think they're friends.
This is weird, but it was likeit was so out of the norm of the
(21:34):
toxic behavior that I had seenwhere I was like yo, they ought
to do a class because this shitis, they talk Like they are
friends.
Darien Eberhart (21:42):
And that's the thing.
Like we were friends before youknow what I mean.
And we talk, we went throughlife experiences as fucking
young adult, young parents andwe have this interest at the kid
.
We have the same interest, likewe got to make sure the kid is
good right.
At first it was not like this,but over time it's like hey, you
(22:06):
know what I mean, it's biggerthan us, right, it's bigger than
about whatever we have, but westill have to make sure he's
good Because, shoot, when I left, he was with me every weekend,
he was with me during the week,like he was always with me.
I was going to take him with me.
If she wasn't going to fight meshe'd probably kill me, but I
was going to take him with me.
(22:27):
Like, that's just who.
I am right, and most of thetime it's just to communicate.
It's the person too, it's thepeople.
You hear stories, you seethings and dad's not really in
the picture X, y or Z because hechooses not to be.
But that's not the case.
Chantée Christian (22:45):
Yeah, it's one of the things that I admire
most about you Because, as anon-self-proclaimed daddy's girl
, I think everyone else has saidit.
I don't have to say it.
You don't need to say it foryourself.
I don't need to say it formyself.
How?
Darien Eberhart (23:01):
do you say what I'm saying, just like that.
Chantée Christian (23:05):
My daddy, but like I know firsthand what it
feels like to have parents thatcare about you as an individual
and so that they're willing tosacrifice so much just so that
you have everything that youcould ever imagine having.
And I don't mean that from amaterial perspective, I mean
(23:28):
that from a like trying tominimize the trauma as much as
possible, even though you willstill end up having a therapist,
because even that has its ownthing to it.
Darien Eberhart (23:40):
But there's nothing wrong with that, right
yeah, sometimes a therapist is astranger sounding board that
you just get everything off ofbecause you just need to
function.
Chantée Christian (23:49):
Yeah.
Darien Eberhart (23:51):
Therapy wasn't a thing growing up as a kid.
Ain't nothing wrong with you,you just learn how to
self-manage.
Chantée Christian (23:59):
Yeah, and we had.
I'm surprised we've gotten thisfar into the podcast and you
haven't called me country orsaid something wild about Listen
you said what your grandmothersaid She'd take your nerve and
rattle it around.
Darien Eberhart (24:09):
I didn't have to.
I didn't have to mention itbecause that was real country.
It rattled a nerve around likeit got beans in it or something.
Chantée Christian (24:18):
Okay, all right, okay, all right.
Darien Eberhart (24:20):
Okay, if your nerves rattle, you need to see a
doctor.
Chantée Christian (24:26):
This is my whole nerve.
Nerves rattle.
You need to see a doctor, Idon't disagree, but it's like
you know.
So I laugh at that.
Because we grew up different,right.
Like you grew up in a city, Forthe most part I've grown up in
the burbs, you would say thecountry.
Darien Eberhart (24:41):
I would say the burbs.
Yeah, yeah, that's not listen,it's not about trees and dirt.
Chantée Christian (24:46):
Oh my gosh drama, okay, anyway, the point
here is that, even though wegrew up differently, we have a
lot of similarities with how wecommunicate and I think that,
from my perspective, that hasbeen helpful for us, because I
know that there could be timeswhere I feel like it could be a
(25:08):
difficult or an emotionalconversation, but we both just
come back to center and like itnever becomes a thing.
Darien Eberhart (25:17):
You know what I mean because it doesn't need to
be.
Well, there's no reason why asimple question, or even a
question about, like, how youfeeling or getting clarity,
should alter anyone's emotionwait, say it again I can't come
to you and ask you a question.
You get upset because I'm askingyou a question, right?
Or you shut down because I'masking you a question, right, or
(25:37):
you shut down because I'masking you a question.
I want to know.
That's why I ask, because Idon't know.
It's very rare that I ask aquestion that I know the answer
to.
So, with that being said, as aperson receiving the question,
I'm like okay, she's unsure, shedoesn't know.
How can I communicate how I'mfeeling without being I guess
(25:59):
people don't like to feelvulnerable?
Chantée Christian (26:01):
Big facts, big facts.
Darien Eberhart (26:04):
So that could be the problem Trusting people
in your space.
Those are all therapy issuesthat you gotta go to somebody
else, but I can't.
I don't have the answers toweigh.
Chantée Christian (26:15):
But you know what?
I think that that's important,though, because no matter how
much therapy you go to, nomatter how much coaching or
community you have, there aregoing to be things that come up
that you're unsure what to dowith them.
Do with them Like, for example,when you talk about
vulnerability, like if I thinkabout my past relationships or
(26:37):
anything like that.
You have been the first personthat I feel like I can be me
around, like I'll dance in thekitchen, and then I'll turn
around and you're looking at meand I'll laugh instead of
feeling like embarrassed or like, oh no, he saw me.
It's like you saw me and you'relooking like what you good, I am
(27:01):
I am, I see right, but I don'tfeel judged in it, and so then I
feel like, okay, I can continueto show up, and show up fully
as me and not in likecompartments of me, if that
makes sense.
Understandable.
So I feel like it also has tobe the other person helping
cultivate a space that allowsfor the vulnerability, allows
(27:26):
for the transparency to grow.
Darien Eberhart (27:30):
Yeah, yeah, it's all about having that
communication.
Yeah, you don't come out andsay, hey, can I feel vulnerable
around you, right?
You show the person, you showthe person that it's more about
the actions than the words, Iguess.
Chantée Christian (27:43):
To summarize it, yeah, for sure, and I think
that as a woman, it'schallenging at times to like let
your guard down and be in aspace to be like all right see
me as a human being.
Okay, human being.
Darien Eberhart (28:01):
Listen as a person like, and that's where,
like, when you see things fail,things don't work out because
people either don't know how tobe vulnerable or just got their
guard up because they wasalready hurt, right, those are
usually the two instances.
Oh yeah, instances, oh yeah,for sure.
So, like, it's all aboutcomfort level.
You gotta feel comfortable tobe vulnerable, right.
(28:23):
You gotta feel comfortable toreally say how you're feeling
yeah, yeah.
Chantée Christian (28:26):
So what's your level of comfort with me?
Scale of one to ten, one beingnot at all ten being out of this
world how is ten out of thisworld?
Darien Eberhart (28:34):
what's five?
Wait what who made this girl Imade it how's one?
How's one and ten?
Ten is out of the world, six isin the sky.
What are we doing?
Chantée Christian (28:52):
it's high, but not as high as ten, alright
on a scale of one to five, thenfive being, what are we doing?
Darien Eberhart (28:59):
Oh my goodness, it's high but not as high as 10
.
On a scale of 1 to 5, then no,no, you can do 10.
No, no, what's 1?
, what's 5?
Chantée Christian (29:03):
I'm listening .
1 is like non-existent 5.
Darien Eberhart (29:06):
And if we do?
Chantée Christian (29:06):
it.
Wait, is this a scale of 1 to 5or 1 to 10?
Darien Eberhart (29:09):
Oh, carl, whatever is your world, what do
you want to do?
What are we doing?
Chantée Christian (29:13):
Ten, ten feels good.
Darien Eberhart (29:15):
Yeah, all right .
So ten is out of the world, andwhat's five?
Chantée Christian (29:19):
Five is like in the middle, kind of like meh.
Darien Eberhart (29:23):
Okay, seven Eight.
Chantée Christian (29:26):
I'll say eight.
Okay, what would take it to anine?
Darien Eberhart (29:35):
I don't know, I have no idea.
Why are you asking me thesequestions?
Chantée Christian (29:37):
It's the look on your face.
Darien Eberhart (29:39):
I don't know Like you ask that question with
me really having to answer.
I don't know.
Chantée Christian (29:49):
I'm curious.
Darien Eberhart (29:51):
I don't know.
Chantée Christian (29:54):
What's your level?
I knew that was coming.
I would probably say an eight,an eight.
We'll take it to a nine.
Oh, more time.
I feel, like we've gone through, not even gone through.
I feel like we've justexperienced some life together,
like you know, like all theseasons and things.
(30:14):
Yeah, because you'd be almostdying oh my, he is talking about
my allergies for those.
Well, actually I was sick a lotover the year.
Yeah, I had to.
Yeah, yeah, wait, a minute.
Wait, what is happening?
Darien Eberhart (30:33):
here Still got to worry in that bubble.
Chantée Christian (30:37):
I do.
I think it's time.
I think the more that we get tospend time together and the
more that we get to learn abouteach other, the more that the
comfort just goes up.
Hearing that you didn't have aplayground where you were in
middle school blew my mind.
I was like oh my goodness.
Darien Eberhart (30:55):
Because I'm from the city.
We played on the concretesidewalks.
That was recess.
Chantée Christian (31:00):
I know, but like you sharing that experience
with me, I was like, oh, wow,this is interesting.
Darien Eberhart (31:06):
Yeah, you had that game.
Does that tell the ball?
We smacked the ball around thepole.
That was a non-existing game inNew York.
This kind of exists.
I was like why is there a ballto a pole?
What is this?
But it was like yes.
Chantée Christian (31:21):
I was like it's so fun.
What are you talking about?
But I think it's stuff likethat right, Like literally, like
getting to know you andcontinuing to get to know you.
I think that it allows it togrow a little bit for me.
Darien Eberhart (31:36):
Were you winning when you played teleball
?
Chantée Christian (31:38):
Okay, we're not doing this.
I was just asking, yes, I waswinning.
I keep telling you I was talluntil I wasn't Huh.
I was tall until I wasn't, Iwas the same height.
I've been the same height sinceseventh grade, right so which
means I was tall for a long timebecause everyone else was short
(32:03):
, and then, all of a sudden, Igot left behind.
Darien Eberhart (32:09):
So you went from always being the back of
the line.
Chantée Christian (32:13):
Yeah.
Darien Eberhart (32:14):
To being in the front of the line.
Yeah, to being in the front ofthe line Having to sit down.
Chantée Christian (32:19):
You had to sit down on the floor.
You won't find one of those.
You got to dig real deep tofind one of those pics.
Darien Eberhart (32:29):
I don't have any of those.
Chantée Christian (32:31):
Okay, so tell the people how tall you are.
Darien Eberhart (32:35):
Taller than you .
Chantée Christian (32:36):
Wow, how much taller than me.
Probably like a foot and somechange.
Literally.
It is outrageous.
I'm offended.
So before I ask you the lastquestion to wrap us up, what
would you tell yourself a yearfrom now, Because you're getting
(32:57):
ready to turn 40.
You're about to walk into 40.
What's happening?
Aren't you getting ready towalk into 40?
What do you mean?
What's happening?
Darien Eberhart (33:05):
27.
Okay.
Chantée Christian (33:07):
So you're getting ready to walk into 40.
What is it that you want40-year-old Darien to know?
Huh?
Darien Eberhart (33:17):
What do I want a 40-year-old me to know?
I guess I would say continue tobet on myself right.
Continue to especially likecareer-wise, life-wise go with
your gut feeling.
Stick with your gut.
You know, when you don't gowith your gut decision, you
always think back like damn, Ishould have did this.
I'm like I knew I should havedid that.
Continue to go with the gutright, because that's going to
lead you to where you want to go.
(33:38):
We already know.
If it don't work out, we alwaysgot to pivot.
There's always another way,another exit.
So let's take it over your gut.
Chantée Christian (33:46):
I like that.
I would offer a 40-year-old youto enjoy life fully.
It's for anyone.
It's something magical thathappens when you turn 40.
That can feel not so magical atfirst and then, if you sit back
(34:07):
and you start to embrace it,it's like, oh, this is pretty
dope.
This is all right, because I'llbe the first to say my 40s at
first felt like grade A trash.
I wanted a refund, I wanted togo back to my 30s, but it was
because it wasn't the life I hadplanned.
Right, it wasn't where.
Darien Eberhart (34:25):
I had thought I was going to be.
Chantée Christian (34:27):
You wasn't following your gut, yeah, yeah,
or I didn't trust that mefollowing my gut was exactly
where I was supposed to be.
Darien Eberhart (34:35):
You don't want to know until you get there.
Chantée Christian (34:37):
Right, yeah, so I would say that that would
be my in the 40s already adviceto you.
Darien Eberhart (34:44):
Yeah, that's good.
That's good advice.
I thought you were going to saysomething different, but that's
good.
Chantée Christian (34:48):
You would say take naps.
Darien Eberhart (34:50):
That'll be a subscription for Tiger Bomb.
What are your Amazon followers?
Chantée Christian (34:53):
That'll be a subscription for Tiger Bomb.
What are your Amazon followers,Yo you?
Make sure it's notauto-replenish.
Tiger Bomb deep blue.
You gotta make sure you're good.
Darien Eberhart (35:09):
Listen, we need promos.
Chantée Christian (35:12):
I can't Okay.
So we've covered quite a fewthings in this conversation
today, or today, whatever timethe people listen to us.
What would you like to leavethe people with?
Darien Eberhart (35:25):
Yeah, I guess he took my wrap up.
It's just, you know, followyour intuition, go with your gut
, live regret free.
If you want to do it, you haveintent to do it, just do it.
If it don't work out, you canalways come back.
You can always go back to thedrawing board.
You can always go back in thecorporate.
It's harder right now buthopefully, three, four, whatever
(35:47):
how much time we got Threeyears, four years, hopefully in
four years you know it'll be allright, right, maybe.
Stay positive, yeah.
So follow your intuition, gowith your gut feeling,
communicate and enjoy life.
Chantée Christian (36:03):
Yeah Well, I thank you so much for joining me
on my podcast and, becauseyou're a side entrepreneur, tell
the people where they can findyour side entrepreneurial stuff.
Darien Eberhart (36:20):
Go to my Instagram.
Life of a fat kid is literallylife of OF A fat kid on
Instagram Links to my Shopifystore in there.
You know portraits, paintings.
You know when I'll be outside,we outside Right, so and that's
it.
You want me to do somefinancial classes.
(36:41):
I don't know if I'm ready forthat yet.
Chantée Christian (36:44):
Oh, I think you are, but we'll have to.
We'll get you ready Because Ithink it's important.
I really do.
I think that the way youdeliver it in Laming terms yeah,
it resonates.
Darien Eberhart (36:56):
Yeah, Growing up, they don't teach us about
this right.
Chantée Christian (37:00):
Yeah.
Darien Eberhart (37:01):
When I find it, I share it.
Chantée Christian (37:03):
Yeah, awesome .
Thank you so much for being onmy podcast.
Darien Eberhart (37:08):
Thank you for having me.
It's been fun.
Chantée Christian (37:11):
Yes, I enjoyed talking with Darien
about the unexpected waysconnections can form.
His insights on the importanceof communication in both
business and relationships wereinvaluable.
Thank you for joining us andremember to stop doing shit that
(37:31):
doesn't serve you.
For more information or ifyou'd like to reach out to us
via visit on Instagram.
See you later.
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