February 22, 2025 • 44 mins
What happens when self-awareness becomes the catalyst for transformation? In this episode of My Best Shift, Chantée Christian sits down with Trini Sherman, a certified professional coach and upcoming bestselling author, to explore the profound impact of owning your truth, breaking generational cycles, and stepping boldly into your purpose.
From reclaiming the power of her name to embracing vulnerability in storytelling, Trini shares how self-awareness has shaped her journey and how it can unlock potential for others. We discuss the role of identity, faith, and courage in personal growth, the struggles of navigating major life transitions—including divorce after 28 years of marriage—and the importance of taking intentional steps toward purpose.
Listen now and be inspired to walk boldly in your truth!
Meet Trini Sherman – Purpose Advocate, Coach & Visionary. Trini Sherman is a certified professional coach dedicated to empowering women to align their potential with their purpose. A lifelong advocate for personal transformation, emotional mastery, and legacy-building, she believes that self-awareness is the foundation for true empowerment.
As a contributing author in the upcoming book Awareness Put Me On, Trini shares her powerful story of reclaiming her voice, recognizing her role in her own life experiences, and taking radical ownership of her journey. Through her coaching practice and podcast, she’s on a mission to help others elevate, expand, and embrace the fullness of who they are.
Connect with Trini via YouTube | LinkedIn
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INSPIRED ACTIONS/THOUGHTS FOR THIS EPISODE
In what ways are you playing small, and how can you reclaim your power?
How can self-awareness shift the way you approach personal transformation?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chantée Christian (00:12):
hey, Trini, how you doing today great.
Trini Sherman (00:14):
How are you?
Chantée Christian (00:16):
I am doing well.
Trini Sherman (00:17):
Thank you for joining me on my podcast you're
most welcome, honored to be herewith Ms Chantée.
Chantée Christian (00:24):
Well, before we get into our conversation,
why don't you tell the people alittle bit about yourself?
Trini Sherman (00:30):
Well, my name is Trina Sherman.
A fun fact it's spelledT-R-I-N-I, so if you see it
written you might get a littleconfused.
Is it Trini?
But it is definitely Trina.
And so I like to say my parentswanted to give me something
interesting when I introducedmyself to people.
So here I am, and it callsabout the diversity of myself.
(00:52):
You know, is it Trini or is itTrina who's showing up for you
right now?
But no, in all seriousness, Ilove the fact that I get to
share that, because there was atime when I would just let
people who didn't know me wellcall me Trini or Trini.
And recently I, in less as I'vedone the internal work of myself
(01:14):
and recognizing the importanceof my name and using my voice in
all areas coming around thatthat, coming to that awareness,
I said you know it's importantfor me to clarify that, so I
like to address it right upfront so everyone knows and
embrace that uniqueness ofmyself, and so that's one thing
(01:36):
about me that you all may findinteresting, and the other is,
as a certified professionalcoach, I'm honored to be here to
just share my passion for womento be empowered to live out
their calling, their purpose, tomake sure that their potential
is aligned with their purpose,of purpose where we're all just
(02:01):
living out our thing, doing ourthing, full of energy,
excitement, color, purpose, and,from that vantage point, able
to look out around the world andsee who are we called to, to
impact, to help rise, to support.
And so that's what I'mpassionate about Most of all is
the elevation of women intotheir power to create their most
(02:25):
amazing life, one step at atime, because we tend to look at
the mountain and get distractedor discouraged by the long
picture, and it just takes onestep at a time.
Chantée Christian (02:39):
Okay, I'm like damn, I need to go practice
my elevator pitch, because thatwas great.
Trini Sherman (02:47):
That's called progress.
Chantée Christian (02:50):
It's so interesting that you mentioned
your name and the importance ofyour name so many different
reasons and why.
But I remember when I first metyou you didn't correct me and
then I heard someone else say it.
I was like, well, wait, what'syour name?
Trini Sherman (03:09):
Yeah, you know, as I've gone on this journey of
coming into my own and infilling those places, that my
power was leaking, many of thedifferent areas that I was
leaking power have revealedthemselves, and that's one of
them.
And yeah, so it was mesilencing myself in ways, and
(03:33):
when you don't use your voice inany way, you're leaking power.
So that was an area that Irecognized that I'm leaking
power, because I'm not tellingthe truth of that, because it's
the explanation and what mypeople think, or you and just
going along with you, know whatit is an I and it's phonetically
correct, so like, but that'snot my name, no matter what it
looks like.
I'm Trina and I also.
(03:54):
It helped in terms of othercultures that are in our country
.
Um, most especially, I found,with Asian names, that they tend
to Americanize their names.
Chantée Christian (04:08):
Oh yeah.
Trini Sherman (04:08):
That's not their birth name, and so then I've
been really watching that andseeing that and then had to turn
it back on myself because it'slike you're doing the same thing
.
You're not honoring your name,and your name is important your
name and your name is important.
Chantée Christian (04:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love that.
I remember as a kid, my dadwould say what's your name?
And I would say Chantée, andhe'd be like what is your name?
And I'm like Chantée, it's likewhat's the most important part
of your name?
I was like, oh, shantae, latoya, christian, right, and it was
like I had to say my whole namebecause he was teaching me the
(04:49):
importance of my name and sowhere I would fight with people
to make sure that they said myname right, because it felt like
such a disrespect because ofhow he and my mother like really
instill that your name isreally important.
(05:10):
Um, my challenge wasn'tnecessarily telling people about
how to say my name.
My challenge has been how totell people to spell my name.
And because my name has an uglyon it and for I mean, I grew up
in the eighties we didn't havethose things on there, and even
(05:32):
when I graduated high school,that was not an option on the
keyboard and so unless, likethey really wanted it to be,
which they didn't, and so itwasn't so people would put an
apostrophe and I'm like that'snot it either, or they just
wouldn't put anything at all andI'm like, well, if it's not an
option, that's cool.
However, if it's an option, Iwant it and, like you, it took
(05:58):
me some time to be like.
That's actually actually not myname.
My name phonetically requiresthe E, it's French, like it
requires the accent, and so,yeah, I find that to be like
really powerful, because I thinkabout that even, like when I
think about how you had talkedabout elevating women and
(06:20):
elevating their lives one stepat a time.
I think part of that isaccepting all of who you are and
being able to stand firm inthat, at least to me.
Trini Sherman (06:30):
Absolutely.
Chantée Christian (06:32):
Yeah.
So I'm curious because there'sone thing that you haven't
mentioned, and by the time thisairs, you would have become a
bestselling author to one bookthat is called Awareness.
Put Me On and you talked aboutawareness and how it got you to
(06:53):
this point, and I'm curious whatwould you say has been one of
the most enlightening thingsthat you've found out or that
you've realized about yourselfthroughout this process?
Trini Sherman (07:11):
Now, when you say process, are we talking about
the process of the book or theprocess of my?
Chantée Christian (07:16):
internal work .
I referenced Process of yourinternal work.
Trini Sherman (07:20):
Okay, Well, when you asked that question, what
came to mind for me was a pointthat some of this I share in the
book Awareness put me on aroundthe fact that I went through a
divorce from a 28-year marriageand one of the pivotal moments
in that way, way, way back, isgetting to a point where I had
(07:44):
to come face to face with thefact that I was a contributor
and an owner of my lifeexperiences.
Because as I looked around andsaw the different experiences, I
was having something clickedand awareness came that says you
know what?
(08:04):
You're the common denominatorin all of your experiences.
So there's ownership there andthat's one of the major power
moves is when you can takeownership, because as long as I
was blaming others or lookingexternally for answers or
(08:25):
reasons or excuses for whythings weren't showing up the
way that I wanted life toexperience life, once I took
that power back and said, hey,I'm the captain of my ship, I'm
actually creating my own lifeexperiences, not that I'm
responsible for what otherpeople are doing, yeah, yeah,
(08:47):
yeah, and not to negate what thenegatives that I was
experiencing from the external,but to take my power back and
say, if I created this, I cancreate something different.
So once I got that, then Ibegan the work of what about me
led me to where I was.
Chantée Christian (09:07):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that I talk about um,one of my friends, and I talk
about it all the time.
It's like, well, all this shitis happening, but you're the
common denominator.
It was like right, and it'slike a, literally to me.
I envision holding this mirrorup, because I think that people
(09:28):
come into our lives in differentspaces and phases Right so, but
they're in different spaces andphases of us and whether we're
able and willing to recognize itin the moment or not, and
sometimes we're not even able toright, sometimes it is
literally a hindsight situation,but I think that the, the, the
(09:48):
magic happens when we realizethe part that we played.
And then, what right, becausethe situation is going to come
up again.
It it could be somebody that'sin this exact same you know
whether it be a romanticrelationship at work and you'd
be like I'm surrounded,surrounded by this.
(10:09):
What is it?
What's wrong with all thesepeople?
And it's like, well, let me go,let me go dig a little deeper.
Also, I love that.
And so, since you brought it up, I'm curious what would you say
is something that you wouldtake?
You would say is one of yourbiggest awarenesses that you've
taken away from the book writingprocess?
Trini Sherman (10:31):
That I can write a book.
Chantée Christian (10:33):
Oh, that part , Say that part.
Trini Sherman (10:37):
I've said for many years that there's a book
in me and so um writing achapter in awareness put me on
said I did that yeah I could do12, 15 more of those, if you
know.
So that was the awareness that,that, that vision, that idea,
(11:00):
that function in me became morerealistic.
Chantée Christian (11:06):
Ooh, I love that.
That's like I don't know, likeso okay, this is because I know,
but I want you to tell thepeople what your granddaughter,
or one of your granddaughters,said to you when she came in to
(11:26):
look at your books that are.
You all won't see it, but she'ssitting behind.
Trina is sitting behind thisbeautiful set of bookshelves
with books like literal books onthem.
Y'all know how I feel aboutreading real books, but she has
real books behind her and yourgranddaughter came in one day
and said what to you about thesebooks?
Trini Sherman (11:46):
So, yes, I had just put the bookshelves up, so
she hadn't seen them before, andso she walked in and she calls
me Mina.
So she looked at the books andshe said, mina, that's not your
book, or those aren't your books, or something to that effect.
So I thought she was telling methose weren't my books to put
on the shelf, that they didn'tbelong to me.
So I thought she was telling methose weren't my books to put
on the shelf, that they didn'tbelong to me, and I'm like yes,
(12:07):
they are my books, alina, andshe's like, no, that's not your
face on that book.
And it was just like somethinghit me inside Growing up my
grandmother.
You saw her say out of themouth of babes like, yes,
children, you know, people canknow that reference.
And that's what it felt like tome, like oh, my goodness you.
(12:29):
You struck and I said you knowwhat, you are right, but one day
, yeah, it will be my book.
And then connected with you,what a week later.
Chantée Christian (12:39):
And yeah, we are, and I think the really cool
part about that is that I don'tthink that there's like
coincidences, right.
And so when I think about one,how we met constant contact
(13:09):
after our initial connection andyet there was something in a
moment that pulled both of us toeach other about separate
things, right.
And in the midst of all of that, a message is coming from your
granddaughter that you didn'tknow was going to have a
follow-up part to it from me,right.
And so when I think about howit all has just literally come
(13:33):
together and your chapter, likey'all, I can't wait for y'all to
read it, it's so good, she hadme crying.
I'm like lord have, have mercy,right.
But I think that it's part ofthat push of the knowing and
(13:54):
remembering that you're worthy,Right, and that you're capable
and that you have everythingthat you need in order to be
able to do the thing that you'vebeen dreaming about, right.
And so, like I feel like it'sit's elevating yourself, too,
right, and showing people,especially women, who have and
(14:19):
are going through one step at atime, what does it look to
elevate Right?
Cause when I talked to you, Itold you my whole purpose in
this is to amplify the voices ofwomen and people right, and in
order for me to do that, I haveto be able to open the door,
which meant that I had to go dosome stuff to be able to be
(14:40):
ready for it.
Right To which you are and havebeen preparing and planning for
, and that's the part that Ilove most about not just your
story, but what awareness andthe self-work right have been
able to do for you.
I love that.
Trini Sherman (14:59):
Yeah, it's like shining a light.
You know, having that lightjust shine on your life and
having something illuminated andthen you can't unsee what you
see.
And once you see what you see,you have two choices to just
bury your head and ignore.
You know you can ignore it, butyou still see it.
(15:19):
So it's gonna keep calling youforward, whether you want to or
not.
Or you can lean into it andbegin to move forward with it
and it's like you said.
You know, as I shared earlier,it's that one step, because I've
had a recent experience of that, that I had another dream that
I've been looking at for yearsand years just in the back of my
(15:40):
mind, and then, just just thisweek, how connecting with
someone and having an idea andworking with my coach and my
mastermind about somethingdifferent, and then, in a moment
time, like I see how thosethings can connect yeah and how.
I'm not right there yet, but Isee this step, I see these steps
(16:03):
I've been taking.
Now it it's illuminating.
There's now the belief,awareness, awareness that comes
and says, oh, this is reallypossible.
I don't know the timing and Idon't know the exact path, but
because I've been continuing totake one step, one step, one
step, more of the picture opensup, up and what I've struggled
(16:26):
in the past is sitting stillwaiting for full vision and
expecting.
You know, god, show me thewhole picture.
You know, then, I'll believe orthen I'll move and it's like, no
, you I have.
I've had to take steps, I'vehad to employ courage in the
(16:46):
face of the fear, of the unknown, of even sometimes feeling can
I do this?
Am I worthy?
You know who do.
I think you know all thosethoughts that can come into
one's mind as I continue to stepinto courage.
And step into courage Even withthe book Awareness Put Me On.
After I said yes.
Then it's like what are youdoing?
(17:07):
Like are you sure about this?
And going back through theprocess.
So, even when there's awareness, even when there's a knowing,
even when there's elevation andgrowth, it doesn't mean your
humanity disappears and you stophaving questions and doubts and
fears.
It's having the tools andskills to step back, yeah, and
(17:29):
reassess and reevaluate and doit as necessary and have that
community or support that youcan check in with to help hold
you accountable.
And then people who are furtheralong, because that's, you know
me connecting with you was like, okay, you have a podcast, I'm
going to start me a videopodcast.
So what do you have?
And you're like, hey, I gotthis book.
(17:50):
You know it's just in steppingout, because even in that,
asking for help, you know beinga you know high achiever I get
A's in school.
I should know how to doeverything and I should be able
to figure it all out.
And even doing the internalwork has opened me up to having
the confidence, the courage, toask for support from others and
(18:11):
not feeling some level of shameor like I should know how to do
this Because, no, you can't knowhow to do what you don't know
how to do.
And there are people who'vegone before you.
So it's that wonderful place ofhaving peers.
They were in the same place.
We can support each other andothers who've gone before you.
So it's that wonderful place ofhaving peers.
They were in the same place.
We can support each other andothers who've gone before.
So all of that has just beenpivotal in getting me to the
(18:33):
place that I would say yes to achapter in a book and yes to a
video podcast and yes to beingon a podcast with you, when a
year and a half ago, going livefor a minute was like the most
scariest thing for me to do.
So you know, just keep moving.
Chantée Christian (18:52):
And that's what I kept hearing.
Right, like I kept hearing doit anyway, move anyway.
Right, move through the fear.
Cause the fear.
I mean, like I love hearingartists, like musical artists,
say I still get nervous when Igo on stage, right, I'm still
anxious about how the peoplewill receive a project, because
(19:14):
I'm like, okay, they're human,right, they're human, they're
human, and what I heard youexplain is humanity, like, we
are human and it would be absurdnot to say that we wouldn't
have doubts or fears or otherthings.
The question is, what do we dowith it?
Right, and a lot of times wesit back and we say I need to
(19:40):
see it all first.
Right, and God is like I toldyou to move, I didn't tell you
that I would show.
And God is like I told you tomove, I didn't tell you that I
would show you and revealeverything.
I told you to move.
And because you haven't moved,you still asking me to show you,
right, and so it's like thispull and tug and it's like, but
if I move, I don't have what isright and it's something that's
(20:00):
all these things, and I'm don'thave what is right and it's all
these things.
And I am speaking for myself inthis fully right it's almost as
if you read my chapter, becauseI talk about that, right, I talk
about the internal dialoguethat happens, that can be
(20:21):
paralyzing at times, right, andI feel like, like and I I say
this often Mark Twain had aquote that said um, there are
two times in your life that arelike the most valuable times in
your life when you're born andwhen you found out why.
(20:41):
And then I always add a thirdpart, though, which is when you
have the courage to do the thing, because so often we know, we
feel it it's all around us andwe dodge it like a dodgeball,
like nope, get somebody else todo it, it can't be for me, that
(21:06):
can't be it.
And when we have the courage towalk in it, it literally changes
the game, right, like I thinkabout your granddaughter, won't
(21:26):
know what is not, what is liketo not have her grandmother be
published, right, she won't knowwhat is like for you not to be
recorded and out there in theworld for people to hear and to
value and to to gain theinsights that you have to give.
That, to me, is what we do whenwe change generational
(21:49):
perspectives, because so often Ithink that we get caught up on
our own awareness, that weforget what happens when we
decide to do something different, how it actually impacts the
people that are closest to usright.
Trini Sherman (22:12):
Funny that that's interesting because yesterday I
was talking to my nephews likea son helped raise him and his
oldest daughter.
Sometimes she would get in herlittle attitude or get
frustrated.
She's three and she'd get rigid.
So I'd go and I talked to her.
I'm like, okay, just take somedeep breaths, calm down, take
(22:34):
some deep breaths.
And so she would relax and getbetter.
So last night they told me thatnow they call me Mina as well.
They said there's a little miniMina over here, because now
she's three and she has a sisterthat's a year and a half.
So when her younger sister wasgetting upset she went there and
said, okay, all right, journey,calm down, take deep breaths,
(22:58):
just breathe in and take deepbreaths, okay.
And I thought, wow, when youtalk about changing, because
those little tools of how do youdeal when you get stressed, how
do you deal with your emotions,how do you?
You know that emotionalintelligence, emotional
management, mastery, however youwant to look at it, that your
emotions are not taking controlof you into, like you said, the
(23:22):
next generation just sharingthat and I was just, I didn't
think of it from thatperspective.
I was just now, as agrandmother, in that role.
It's like I see thingsdifferently than I saw them as a
mother.
You know it was much more rigid, much less aware of the
importance of finding one's ownway and creating space for that
(23:48):
versus you know these, this isthe right way, versus what?
Their boundaries, of course, um, but also leaving more space.
And now, with the grandchildrenit's I'm more aware, because of
the work I've done, to say,okay, it's important to support
them in how to manage youremotions, versus shutting them
(24:10):
down.
Chantée Christian (24:11):
Yeah.
Trini Sherman (24:12):
You know, so that that was interesting yesterday.
Chantée Christian (24:16):
No, and I think that had you had the tools
that you have now when you wereraising your, your girls, it
probably would have beendifferent Right Absolutely.
But you did what you could withwhat you had at the time.
Trini Sherman (24:33):
Absolutely no judgment, no criticism.
Just the awareness of thetransition and the growth you
know in that, and even with mydaughters, even being more open
to say here's my story, here'swhat my experiences have been.
So you won't be in your 50strying to figure this out, Let
me share now.
(24:53):
So even that, that piece Ifound to be important.
Chantée Christian (24:58):
I think that that's getting all sorts of
chills over here, because Ithink that that's.
I'm getting all sorts of chillsover here because I think that
that's so powerful, especiallywhen we talk about women of
color and the secrets that wedie with, right.
I think about my grandparents,grandmothers, specifically, and
(25:21):
I'm just like, why'd you hold onto that so hard, like, and it
was because of the judgment, theshame and you know the
conversations and all of thosethings.
And I just think about how,historically, we haven't created
(25:43):
spaces that feel safe to passon that type of knowledge that
you're passing on to your girls,right, who are grown women, but
to your daughters, right, right, and so I think that there's
Space For that type of elevationwithin the family unit.
Trini Sherman (26:08):
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's important Even, Ithink, from, I will say even for
myself, getting to a point offeeling comfortable sharing even
my own story myself.
Getting to a point of feelingcomfortable sharing even my own
story and knowing, in trying toI'll say it this way being the
(26:28):
nurturer, being the, the personthat take has taken care, you
know, of everybody for so long.
Getting to the place ofchoosing self, choosing myself,
choosing to honor every part ofmyself and beginning to
recognize that not using myvoice and speaking, like I said
(26:50):
earlier, is a power leak.
Now I get to choose how andwhen and where and what I share,
my choice and where and what Ishare.
Yeah, my choice, different thannot speaking, because
culturally it's you keep yourbusiness at home, you don't
share your story, and then itwhat it leads to is people, us,
(27:13):
walking around feeling likewe're the only one and that
something's wrong with me,specifically because I'm having
this experience versus this isan experience, this is something
that others experienced in this, and then they made it through.
So if you and the other part, Iguess, is, if we only share the
(27:34):
good, then you only get to seethe end of the story, then I
have no clue of looking at thatstory of what do I do when I'm
not there, except feel shamebecause I'm not where you are.
You know, that's the piece isI'm not where they are.
(27:54):
And even growing up in thechurch, some of that, like you
know, just do it this way, justhave faith, just walk the path,
you know.
But how, how, how, how and it'simportant to share the how.
How did I do it?
What are the tools that Ilearned along the way?
What are the obstacles I faced,what are the challenges?
(28:16):
What, like you said, what isthe?
Is that mindset piece, what'sthe negative language that I
have floating around in my headand you're like, oh, you think
that way too.
Oh, you had that.
That happens to you too.
Oh, okay, and so that can beencouraging and uplifting and
say, okay, well, if you can doit, then I can do it too and say
(28:42):
okay, well, if you can do it,then I can do it too.
Chantée Christian (28:44):
Well, if I ever needed confirmation that
what I wrote in my chapter waswhat I was supposed to be
writing, I chose to write from adifferent standpoint than I
would typically write, mostlybecause my higher power wouldn't
let me be great and just writewhat I wanted to write, and when
(29:11):
people reviewed it, theyweren't used to experiencing
that part of me.
They weren't used toexperiencing that part of me,
and so they felt like I wastalking down on myself or not
being this epitome of lightRight when the truth of the
(29:42):
matter is.
It's the reason why I titled mychapter Cease and Desist the
Internal BS.
Because it's me.
Do I present all of the thingsthat are floating around in this
Aquarian head?
Absolutely not, not outwardly.
There are a few people that getbits and pieces of it, but the
(30:04):
truth of the matter is I'm justlike everyone else.
However, because that's not howI present, people assume that I
got all my shit together.
I don't ever have doubts.
I'm telling y'all this projecthas been a big ball of doubt,
and not because I don't believein it and not because I don't.
(30:26):
I didn't know that it was what Iwas supposed to do, but it's
because I'd never done it beforein this way.
I've never been on this side ofthe house, been on this side of
the house, right.
(30:47):
I've never had to put this manypeople in one spot and have us
all with one mission for a halfa day in a thought process and
say go right.
And then get it back and belike, oh shit, we're doing it
all right, it's happening.
And then to be able to look atthe manuscript and be like I
(31:08):
could not have done this withoutGod's orchestrating every piece
and step of the way.
But when you talk about faith,right the the how for me it was.
I had to literally let go andtrust the process.
I had to trust that he told mewho, what, when and where.
(31:30):
All I had to do was go and doit.
Well, that's the hardest part,in my opinion.
I'm like sending an email noproblem.
Reaching out no problem.
Green light Whoa.
What are we supposed to do withthe green light?
Trini Sherman (31:50):
He said go right.
Chantée Christian (31:54):
And I'm saying that because I'm quick to
blame social media for theperception that it has on people
seeing things picture perfect.
But the truth of the matter is,with or without it, we see what
people give, and so part of thereason why I don't like to do
(32:16):
visual recordings is because Idon't want to get made up.
I want to look like I lookright now, homeless, I mean.
I want to be comfortable.
And because I have created thispersona, I wouldn't say it's a
(32:37):
persona, it's the truth.
And when I go outside, I getdressed.
My family is Southern, that'sjust what you do sometimes.
When you're in the house, youdress too, but it just depends
right.
But I wouldn't be caught deadon a 45 minute podcast without
with my hair not done, with abroken nail with no foundation
(33:01):
and that's still work I'mworking on.
So y'all don't come for me.
But with a broken nail with nofoundation and that's still work
I'm working on.
So y'all don't come for me.
But when people see me all theway together, they expect
something right.
And I'm like there are multiplepieces to me, and part of that
is the self-work that I work ontoo.
I'm a work in progress, and soI chose to do exactly what
(33:26):
you're talking about in mychapter because I felt like it
was time, and I felt like it wastime for me to kind of move the
veil and push the curtaincurtain back.
But I also felt like it wastime because there were, and are
(33:46):
, people who think that I justgot to D without having to go
through A and some numbers priorto that.
Right, I'm, I'm like you, justdon't.
There's this perception that wejust started and boom, you're
there, wow, everything's great,and it's like whoa, mm-mm, mm-mm
(34:10):
, you know.
And so I love the courage and Ilove the vulnerability that
comes with courage.
I told some of the authors thatI was going to get a shirt that
said dig deeper.
I feel like I said that toeveryone, and the tricky part
for me became when I had to sayit to myself.
(34:33):
I was reading my chapter and Iwas like gotta go deeper.
And I was like I don't want togo any deeper.
I don't want to, and then I didbecause I felt like y'all would
come after me if y'all read mychapter and I didn't go deeper.
Um, but I think that there's somuch power in as you were
(34:58):
talking about the communityright and having that support
and having people that have beenin various stages of where
you're at and where you'retrying to go, because without it
, how do you learn?
right yeah, I'm excited.
(35:21):
I'm excited, like I'm excited.
I'm excited about.
You know how you feel, likeyou're on the brink of something
.
You're unclear and unsure as towhat and how it'll look, but
(35:42):
you know that it's something.
I know that this book it's notjust a book, right Like.
There isn't a shadow of a doubtin my mind that it is more than
(36:04):
that, and I'm excited to watchGod do whatever it is he had
planned for this and just to bea part of his orchestration.
(36:28):
It's taken me a long time to beable to get to a point where I
can accept that I don't know andto accept that he doesn't need
my help because I'm helpful Atleast I like to think so and I
know that he doesn't need myhelp with this and I'm okay with
(36:48):
that.
And it doesn't mean I haven'tbeen frustrated.
It doesn't mean that I don'tget in my own feelings and in my
own way sometimes about it, butwhen I really sit still and I'm
comfortable with I did exactlywhat he told me to do.
(37:08):
He told me to do it and I didit, and I feel good about that.
I'm excited to set out to doexactly what I wanted to do with
the authors, which was give youall a platform to amplify your
voices, and what you do withthat is solely up to you, right?
I was talking to someone beforeI got on with you and they were
(37:32):
planning this like huge eventaround the book and I was like,
yes, I can't wait to come thebook.
And I was like, yes, I can'twait to come, um.
And so I'm like it's thosethings that I couldn't have
planned.
I didn't have any insight intoany of that, because that's not.
It wasn't, it's not my willright right, and so I'm excited
(37:54):
for that.
Trini Sherman (37:56):
Like it's just, I get so tickled when you're
speaking, one of the things I Ilike to write down the thoughts
that come to me, especially whenI'm walking and getting these
wisdom.
My coach calls them wisdomnuggets.
I'm sorry, wisdom keys, butanyway, you call them wisdom
(38:17):
nuggets.
Chantée Christian (38:17):
That's mine, it's one of my wisdom nuggets
that's yours, that's mine.
Trini Sherman (38:22):
Okay, what I wrote was the power is not in
knowing and understanding.
Speaking to Trini the power isnot in knowing and understanding
.
It's in the hearing andlistening for where the spirit
leads wait a Wait a minute, waita minute, hit us with it one
more time.
(38:42):
The power is not in knowing andunderstanding, it's in the
hearing and listening.
For where the spirit leadsimportant for me.
(39:02):
It just came to me a couple ofweeks ago because I really
prided myself in knowing andknowledge and understanding, and
even as a kid I can remember myparents saying I couldn't do
something.
I'm like, okay, it's fine, butI just need to understand why
you know, or I get to place Okay, I just need to understand,
just just help me understand.
And that became a struggle insome areas of life, because
(39:24):
there's some things you're justnever going to understand, the
things that I'm just like we'retalking about.
You're not going to know thewhole picture, but it's in when
I can hear, creating space tohear, and then listen and move
according to what I hear youknow, and so that has been
(39:48):
calming for me, to be at a placeof just listen see what comes
and then go with it.
Because all this knowledge canget really, really noisy and
confusing, Because it can be socontradictory.
Chantée Christian (40:10):
Yes, yes, because what we know, what we
fear and what we feel are hardlyever in sync Right, hardly ever
fear, and what we feel arehardly ever in sync right hardly
(40:31):
ever.
And then what we hear, what weknow, are hardly ever in sync
either.
Trini Sherman (40:33):
Yeah, it's that.
That.
That internal for me is thatfinding that place, that
internal knowing that thing.
When you like, when you'vepracticed enough to listen and
you know I used to do somethings like parking space, like
do I go on this aisle or do I goon that aisle and like testing
that, that unction in me.
(40:55):
Um, in the simplest of ways, sowhen I, you get to the place
where there's the, the realdecision to me you kind of and
was in more in tuned, and thenthere came a point in my life
where things got so crazy I justdidn't hear anymore because I
just just got way too noisy andthen I brought brought myself
back out, and so that's excitingfor me is to be in the place to
(41:17):
be able to hear yeah here againso that I can um release the
other stuff and just just trustand walk trust and walk.
Chantée Christian (41:29):
What are you hearing right now?
Trini Sherman (41:34):
what I'm hearing right now, at a point in time
I'm I'm a power player is whatI'm hearing right now.
What I'm hearing is that I'mreally really big, and that's
not in comparison to anyone else.
It's really I'm really big andit's time for me to recognize
the power that God has given me,the platform, the capacity to
(41:58):
create change in the world andto settle into that, while at
the same time digging deeper, asyou say, expanding, elevating
and enjoying the ride.
Like, just if it's not.
That's one line I've finallyfound, just if it's not.
That's one line I've finallyfound.
Like, if it's not an alignmentand it's not feeling good to me,
(42:23):
like if it doesn't, if I'm nothappy in it, it's not just giddy
happy, but getting to thatpoint I know like something's
off for me and I do not need tounderstand why it's off, I just
need to know that it's off andlet it go.
You know, because I've reallycome to understand also, that
(42:43):
just because I have thepotential to do something,
because I have the capacity,doesn't mean it's my calling, it
doesn't mean it's my lane, itdoesn't mean it's for me, maybe
not at this time.
So, even being patient with thetiming of things.
So, yeah, it just feels likethings are just opening up in a
(43:05):
way that had not existed before,and I'm at peace with that.
Chantée Christian (43:14):
I love this.
I love this.
It's reminding me of a clip Isaw with Red Fox and Muhammad
Ali and they're taking like aQ&A.
So I assume it's after a show.
I'm not 100% sure, but they'redoing this Q&A and they're
(43:36):
poking fun at each other, right?
Sure, but they're doing thisQ&A and they're they're poking
fun at each other, right?
And someone asks is MuhammadAli a question?
And his response was around him,like being people being
intimidated by him when he's inthe ring getting ready for a
fight.
And he said you know, I talktrash for me.
It's not about them.
(43:58):
I can't go back home knowingthat I talked all that trash and
lose, he said.
And so that's my way of hypingmyself up.
He said the thing is thatpeople don't understand that
what I'm talking about.
It has nothing to do with them.
And so when they get in thering, they think that I've
(44:19):
talked all this trash to them,when really I'm talking it to
myself.
He said I go in there to fightme, right?
And so when you talk aboutbeing big and it not being like
in comparison to anyone else,it's like, no, it's in
comparison to you.
Trini Sherman (44:38):
Right.
Chantée Christian (44:39):
Right and being able to say look at what
I've done for me in retrospectand in introspect is so much
bigger than any sort ofcomparison.
Trini Sherman (44:53):
Right and and and being like I said before, you
know, pushing for grades andalways wanting excellence and to
do well, yeah, and having thecapacity to do that, to
accomplish that.
I'll speak personally.
(45:13):
At times I didn't understandthe value, you know.
Ok, yeah, you got straight, gotstraight A's okay, that's what
you do it's not, but never.
and it's again, it's, and Idon't know if there's a woman or
it doesn't, but it's that beingin that place to say celebrate
(45:35):
my own brilliance and beingcomfortable speaking to that and
not having to play small, notchoosing to play small because
that will sound like you'rebragging.
You know, men have no problemtelling you how great they are,
generally, I mean at all Right,you know, and so it's.
(45:58):
I can't.
No one could have ever told methat I would be speaking this
way, even probably 30 minutesago.
That wasn't the plan, but it'swhat's come.
When you say what's coming up,that's what's coming up.
Is the importance of all thisgreatness that God has placed in
me for his purpose is worthy ofcelebration and expression, and
(46:22):
so that's what's coming up.
So, yeah, I'm brilliant, I'mamazing.
And here's the thing Eachindividual has that same place
that they can land and be.
Same place that they can landand be.
(46:42):
Period.
Nothing unique about me when Isay that it's that's the passion
for me, especially for women,is to ignite that fire inside
that says, yes, I'm worthy, yes,I'm powerful.
And even, like we spoke aboutthe next generation, beginning
to speak that to mygranddaughter, like, oh, you say
this, I say this, I am strong,I am powerful, I am beautiful.
(47:04):
You know all those affirmations.
We talk about sayingaffirmations but getting it to a
place that it's truth comingout of one's soul, not just an
intellectual reverberation ofyou know, just saying some words
, and that takes work and thattakes time.
Words, and that takes work andthat takes time, and I'm all
(47:24):
here for it to support otherwomen in doing that work, so
that they can believe it, liveit, be it, share it.
Chantée Christian (47:29):
Yes, this is a perfect time.
I told you it would happen foryou to.
We've talked about a lot andyet not really.
What would you like to leavethe people with?
Trini Sherman (47:52):
I would like to leave the people with my vision,
as I said earlier, that I havea vision of women, most
especially women, being on amountaintop of their purpose,
where they are alive and happyand free and dancing and full of
color and meaning and enjoyinglife and having the vision for
(48:19):
themselves of purposefulmovement, how that they can
touch others, to rise andelevate, to expand, and that, no
matter where you are in yourlife right now, there's hope,
there's purpose, there ismeaning and you have potential
(48:41):
in that, once you align it withyour purpose, you're going to
find that life can be an amazingjourney.
Even in the midst of thechallenges we see, you can have
the perspective of life is lifeand I get to be the most
beautiful version of myself inthe midst of it.
And I just want everybody toeverybody, even men I'm not I
(49:05):
don't know that I'm necessarilycalled to that ministry yet, but
who knows what's down?
But even our men need to knowthat it's okay to tell the truth
about who you are and where youare and what you're
experiencing, so that our womenor men can come together and
have rewarding relationships andempower one another.
(49:27):
So I know I said a lot,probably in that, and maybe not
a whole lot, but not one point.
I just really want people to beempowered to live the life that
God has called them to onpurpose, with purpose for
purpose, in every step of theway.
Chantée Christian (49:47):
I love it.
I love it.
Thank you so much for joiningme on my podcast.
Trini Sherman (49:52):
Thanks for having me.
It's been a blast.
hey, Trini, how you doing today great.
Trini Sherman (00:14):
How are you?
Chantée Christian (00:16):
I am doing well.
Trini Sherman (00:17):
Thank you for joining me on my podcast you're
most welcome, honored to be herewith Ms Chantée.
Chantée Christian (00:24):
Well, before we get into our conversation,
why don't you tell the people alittle bit about yourself?
Trini Sherman (00:30):
Well, my name is Trina Sherman.
A fun fact it's spelledT-R-I-N-I, so if you see it
written you might get a littleconfused.
Is it Trini?
But it is definitely Trina.
And so I like to say my parentswanted to give me something
interesting when I introducedmyself to people.
So here I am, and it callsabout the diversity of myself.
(00:52):
You know, is it Trini or is itTrina who's showing up for you
right now?
But no, in all seriousness, Ilove the fact that I get to
share that, because there was atime when I would just let
people who didn't know me wellcall me Trini or Trini.
And recently I, in less as I'vedone the internal work of myself
(01:14):
and recognizing the importanceof my name and using my voice in
all areas coming around thatthat, coming to that awareness,
I said you know it's importantfor me to clarify that, so I
like to address it right upfront so everyone knows and
embrace that uniqueness ofmyself, and so that's one thing
(01:36):
about me that you all may findinteresting, and the other is,
as a certified professionalcoach, I'm honored to be here to
just share my passion for womento be empowered to live out
their calling, their purpose, tomake sure that their potential
is aligned with their purpose,of purpose where we're all just
(02:01):
living out our thing, doing ourthing, full of energy,
excitement, color, purpose, and,from that vantage point, able
to look out around the world andsee who are we called to, to
impact, to help rise, to support.
And so that's what I'mpassionate about Most of all is
the elevation of women intotheir power to create their most
(02:25):
amazing life, one step at atime, because we tend to look at
the mountain and get distractedor discouraged by the long
picture, and it just takes onestep at a time.
Chantée Christian (02:39):
Okay, I'm like damn, I need to go practice
my elevator pitch, because thatwas great.
Trini Sherman (02:47):
That's called progress.
Chantée Christian (02:50):
It's so interesting that you mentioned
your name and the importance ofyour name so many different
reasons and why.
But I remember when I first metyou you didn't correct me and
then I heard someone else say it.
I was like, well, wait, what'syour name?
Trini Sherman (03:09):
Yeah, you know, as I've gone on this journey of
coming into my own and infilling those places, that my
power was leaking, many of thedifferent areas that I was
leaking power have revealedthemselves, and that's one of
them.
And yeah, so it was mesilencing myself in ways, and
(03:33):
when you don't use your voice inany way, you're leaking power.
So that was an area that Irecognized that I'm leaking
power, because I'm not tellingthe truth of that, because it's
the explanation and what mypeople think, or you and just
going along with you, know whatit is an I and it's phonetically
correct, so like, but that'snot my name, no matter what it
looks like.
I'm Trina and I also.
(03:54):
It helped in terms of othercultures that are in our country
.
Um, most especially, I found,with Asian names, that they tend
to Americanize their names.
Chantée Christian (04:08):
Oh yeah.
Trini Sherman (04:08):
That's not their birth name, and so then I've
been really watching that andseeing that and then had to turn
it back on myself because it'slike you're doing the same thing
.
You're not honoring your name,and your name is important your
name and your name is important.
Chantée Christian (04:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love that.
I remember as a kid, my dadwould say what's your name?
And I would say Chantée, andhe'd be like what is your name?
And I'm like Chantée, it's likewhat's the most important part
of your name?
I was like, oh, shantae, latoya, christian, right, and it was
like I had to say my whole namebecause he was teaching me the
(04:49):
importance of my name and sowhere I would fight with people
to make sure that they said myname right, because it felt like
such a disrespect because ofhow he and my mother like really
instill that your name isreally important.
(05:10):
Um, my challenge wasn'tnecessarily telling people about
how to say my name.
My challenge has been how totell people to spell my name.
And because my name has an uglyon it and for I mean, I grew up
in the eighties we didn't havethose things on there, and even
(05:32):
when I graduated high school,that was not an option on the
keyboard and so unless, likethey really wanted it to be,
which they didn't, and so itwasn't so people would put an
apostrophe and I'm like that'snot it either, or they just
wouldn't put anything at all andI'm like, well, if it's not an
option, that's cool.
However, if it's an option, Iwant it and, like you, it took
(05:58):
me some time to be like.
That's actually actually not myname.
My name phonetically requiresthe E, it's French, like it
requires the accent, and so,yeah, I find that to be like
really powerful, because I thinkabout that even, like when I
think about how you had talkedabout elevating women and
(06:20):
elevating their lives one stepat a time.
I think part of that isaccepting all of who you are and
being able to stand firm inthat, at least to me.
Trini Sherman (06:30):
Absolutely.
Chantée Christian (06:32):
Yeah.
So I'm curious because there'sone thing that you haven't
mentioned, and by the time thisairs, you would have become a
bestselling author to one bookthat is called Awareness.
Put Me On and you talked aboutawareness and how it got you to
(06:53):
this point, and I'm curious whatwould you say has been one of
the most enlightening thingsthat you've found out or that
you've realized about yourselfthroughout this process?
Trini Sherman (07:11):
Now, when you say process, are we talking about
the process of the book or theprocess of my?
Chantée Christian (07:16):
internal work .
I referenced Process of yourinternal work.
Trini Sherman (07:20):
Okay, Well, when you asked that question, what
came to mind for me was a pointthat some of this I share in the
book Awareness put me on aroundthe fact that I went through a
divorce from a 28-year marriageand one of the pivotal moments
in that way, way, way back, isgetting to a point where I had
(07:44):
to come face to face with thefact that I was a contributor
and an owner of my lifeexperiences.
Because as I looked around andsaw the different experiences, I
was having something clickedand awareness came that says you
know what?
(08:04):
You're the common denominatorin all of your experiences.
So there's ownership there andthat's one of the major power
moves is when you can takeownership, because as long as I
was blaming others or lookingexternally for answers or
(08:25):
reasons or excuses for whythings weren't showing up the
way that I wanted life toexperience life, once I took
that power back and said, hey,I'm the captain of my ship, I'm
actually creating my own lifeexperiences, not that I'm
responsible for what otherpeople are doing, yeah, yeah,
(08:47):
yeah, and not to negate what thenegatives that I was
experiencing from the external,but to take my power back and
say, if I created this, I cancreate something different.
So once I got that, then Ibegan the work of what about me
led me to where I was.
Chantée Christian (09:07):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that I talk about um,one of my friends, and I talk
about it all the time.
It's like, well, all this shitis happening, but you're the
common denominator.
It was like right, and it'slike a, literally to me.
I envision holding this mirrorup, because I think that people
(09:28):
come into our lives in differentspaces and phases Right so, but
they're in different spaces andphases of us and whether we're
able and willing to recognize itin the moment or not, and
sometimes we're not even able toright, sometimes it is
literally a hindsight situation,but I think that the, the, the
(09:48):
magic happens when we realizethe part that we played.
And then, what right, becausethe situation is going to come
up again.
It it could be somebody that'sin this exact same you know
whether it be a romanticrelationship at work and you'd
be like I'm surrounded,surrounded by this.
(10:09):
What is it?
What's wrong with all thesepeople?
And it's like, well, let me go,let me go dig a little deeper.
Also, I love that.
And so, since you brought it up, I'm curious what would you say
is something that you wouldtake?
You would say is one of yourbiggest awarenesses that you've
taken away from the book writingprocess?
Trini Sherman (10:31):
That I can write a book.
Chantée Christian (10:33):
Oh, that part , Say that part.
Trini Sherman (10:37):
I've said for many years that there's a book
in me and so um writing achapter in awareness put me on
said I did that yeah I could do12, 15 more of those, if you
know.
So that was the awareness that,that, that vision, that idea,
(11:00):
that function in me became morerealistic.
Chantée Christian (11:06):
Ooh, I love that.
That's like I don't know, likeso okay, this is because I know,
but I want you to tell thepeople what your granddaughter,
or one of your granddaughters,said to you when she came in to
(11:26):
look at your books that are.
You all won't see it, but she'ssitting behind.
Trina is sitting behind thisbeautiful set of bookshelves
with books like literal books onthem.
Y'all know how I feel aboutreading real books, but she has
real books behind her and yourgranddaughter came in one day
and said what to you about thesebooks?
Trini Sherman (11:46):
So, yes, I had just put the bookshelves up, so
she hadn't seen them before, andso she walked in and she calls
me Mina.
So she looked at the books andshe said, mina, that's not your
book, or those aren't your books, or something to that effect.
So I thought she was telling methose weren't my books to put
on the shelf, that they didn'tbelong to me.
So I thought she was telling methose weren't my books to put
on the shelf, that they didn'tbelong to me, and I'm like yes,
(12:07):
they are my books, alina, andshe's like, no, that's not your
face on that book.
And it was just like somethinghit me inside Growing up my
grandmother.
You saw her say out of themouth of babes like, yes,
children, you know, people canknow that reference.
And that's what it felt like tome, like oh, my goodness you.
(12:29):
You struck and I said you knowwhat, you are right, but one day
, yeah, it will be my book.
And then connected with you,what a week later.
Chantée Christian (12:39):
And yeah, we are, and I think the really cool
part about that is that I don'tthink that there's like
coincidences, right.
And so when I think about one,how we met constant contact
(13:09):
after our initial connection andyet there was something in a
moment that pulled both of us toeach other about separate
things, right.
And in the midst of all of that, a message is coming from your
granddaughter that you didn'tknow was going to have a
follow-up part to it from me,right.
And so when I think about howit all has just literally come
(13:33):
together and your chapter, likey'all, I can't wait for y'all to
read it, it's so good, she hadme crying.
I'm like lord have, have mercy,right.
But I think that it's part ofthat push of the knowing and
(13:54):
remembering that you're worthy,Right, and that you're capable
and that you have everythingthat you need in order to be
able to do the thing that you'vebeen dreaming about, right.
And so, like I feel like it'sit's elevating yourself, too,
right, and showing people,especially women, who have and
(14:19):
are going through one step at atime, what does it look to
elevate Right?
Cause when I talked to you, Itold you my whole purpose in
this is to amplify the voices ofwomen and people right, and in
order for me to do that, I haveto be able to open the door,
which meant that I had to go dosome stuff to be able to be
(14:40):
ready for it.
Right To which you are and havebeen preparing and planning for
, and that's the part that Ilove most about not just your
story, but what awareness andthe self-work right have been
able to do for you.
I love that.
Trini Sherman (14:59):
Yeah, it's like shining a light.
You know, having that lightjust shine on your life and
having something illuminated andthen you can't unsee what you
see.
And once you see what you see,you have two choices to just
bury your head and ignore.
You know you can ignore it, butyou still see it.
(15:19):
So it's gonna keep calling youforward, whether you want to or
not.
Or you can lean into it andbegin to move forward with it
and it's like you said.
You know, as I shared earlier,it's that one step, because I've
had a recent experience of that, that I had another dream that
I've been looking at for yearsand years just in the back of my
(15:40):
mind, and then, just just thisweek, how connecting with
someone and having an idea andworking with my coach and my
mastermind about somethingdifferent, and then, in a moment
time, like I see how thosethings can connect yeah and how.
I'm not right there yet, but Isee this step, I see these steps
(16:03):
I've been taking.
Now it it's illuminating.
There's now the belief,awareness, awareness that comes
and says, oh, this is reallypossible.
I don't know the timing and Idon't know the exact path, but
because I've been continuing totake one step, one step, one
step, more of the picture opensup, up and what I've struggled
(16:26):
in the past is sitting stillwaiting for full vision and
expecting.
You know, god, show me thewhole picture.
You know, then, I'll believe orthen I'll move and it's like, no
, you I have.
I've had to take steps, I'vehad to employ courage in the
(16:46):
face of the fear, of the unknown, of even sometimes feeling can
I do this?
Am I worthy?
You know who do.
I think you know all thosethoughts that can come into
one's mind as I continue to stepinto courage.
And step into courage Even withthe book Awareness Put Me On.
After I said yes.
Then it's like what are youdoing?
(17:07):
Like are you sure about this?
And going back through theprocess.
So, even when there's awareness, even when there's a knowing,
even when there's elevation andgrowth, it doesn't mean your
humanity disappears and you stophaving questions and doubts and
fears.
It's having the tools andskills to step back, yeah, and
(17:29):
reassess and reevaluate and doit as necessary and have that
community or support that youcan check in with to help hold
you accountable.
And then people who are furtheralong, because that's, you know
me connecting with you was like, okay, you have a podcast, I'm
going to start me a videopodcast.
So what do you have?
And you're like, hey, I gotthis book.
(17:50):
You know it's just in steppingout, because even in that,
asking for help, you know beinga you know high achiever I get
A's in school.
I should know how to doeverything and I should be able
to figure it all out.
And even doing the internalwork has opened me up to having
the confidence, the courage, toask for support from others and
(18:11):
not feeling some level of shameor like I should know how to do
this Because, no, you can't knowhow to do what you don't know
how to do.
And there are people who'vegone before you.
So it's that wonderful place ofhaving peers.
They were in the same place.
We can support each other andothers who've gone before you.
So it's that wonderful place ofhaving peers.
They were in the same place.
We can support each other andothers who've gone before.
So all of that has just beenpivotal in getting me to the
(18:33):
place that I would say yes to achapter in a book and yes to a
video podcast and yes to beingon a podcast with you, when a
year and a half ago, going livefor a minute was like the most
scariest thing for me to do.
So you know, just keep moving.
Chantée Christian (18:52):
And that's what I kept hearing.
Right, like I kept hearing doit anyway, move anyway.
Right, move through the fear.
Cause the fear.
I mean, like I love hearingartists, like musical artists,
say I still get nervous when Igo on stage, right, I'm still
anxious about how the peoplewill receive a project, because
(19:14):
I'm like, okay, they're human,right, they're human, they're
human, and what I heard youexplain is humanity, like, we
are human and it would be absurdnot to say that we wouldn't
have doubts or fears or otherthings.
The question is, what do we dowith it?
Right, and a lot of times wesit back and we say I need to
(19:40):
see it all first.
Right, and God is like I toldyou to move, I didn't tell you
that I would show.
And God is like I told you tomove, I didn't tell you that I
would show you and revealeverything.
I told you to move.
And because you haven't moved,you still asking me to show you,
right, and so it's like thispull and tug and it's like, but
if I move, I don't have what isright and it's something that's
(20:00):
all these things, and I'm don'thave what is right and it's all
these things.
And I am speaking for myself inthis fully right it's almost as
if you read my chapter, becauseI talk about that, right, I talk
about the internal dialoguethat happens, that can be
(20:21):
paralyzing at times, right, andI feel like, like and I I say
this often Mark Twain had aquote that said um, there are
two times in your life that arelike the most valuable times in
your life when you're born andwhen you found out why.
(20:41):
And then I always add a thirdpart, though, which is when you
have the courage to do the thing, because so often we know, we
feel it it's all around us andwe dodge it like a dodgeball,
like nope, get somebody else todo it, it can't be for me, that
(21:06):
can't be it.
And when we have the courage towalk in it, it literally changes
the game, right, like I thinkabout your granddaughter, won't
(21:26):
know what is not, what is liketo not have her grandmother be
published, right, she won't knowwhat is like for you not to be
recorded and out there in theworld for people to hear and to
value and to to gain theinsights that you have to give.
That, to me, is what we do whenwe change generational
(21:49):
perspectives, because so often Ithink that we get caught up on
our own awareness, that weforget what happens when we
decide to do something different, how it actually impacts the
people that are closest to usright.
Trini Sherman (22:12):
Funny that that's interesting because yesterday I
was talking to my nephews likea son helped raise him and his
oldest daughter.
Sometimes she would get in herlittle attitude or get
frustrated.
She's three and she'd get rigid.
So I'd go and I talked to her.
I'm like, okay, just take somedeep breaths, calm down, take
(22:34):
some deep breaths.
And so she would relax and getbetter.
So last night they told me thatnow they call me Mina as well.
They said there's a little miniMina over here, because now
she's three and she has a sisterthat's a year and a half.
So when her younger sister wasgetting upset she went there and
said, okay, all right, journey,calm down, take deep breaths,
(22:58):
just breathe in and take deepbreaths, okay.
And I thought, wow, when youtalk about changing, because
those little tools of how do youdeal when you get stressed, how
do you deal with your emotions,how do you?
You know that emotionalintelligence, emotional
management, mastery, however youwant to look at it, that your
emotions are not taking controlof you into, like you said, the
(23:22):
next generation just sharingthat and I was just, I didn't
think of it from thatperspective.
I was just now, as agrandmother, in that role.
It's like I see thingsdifferently than I saw them as a
mother.
You know it was much more rigid, much less aware of the
importance of finding one's ownway and creating space for that
(23:48):
versus you know these, this isthe right way, versus what?
Their boundaries, of course, um, but also leaving more space.
And now, with the grandchildrenit's I'm more aware, because of
the work I've done, to say,okay, it's important to support
them in how to manage youremotions, versus shutting them
(24:10):
down.
Chantée Christian (24:11):
Yeah.
Trini Sherman (24:12):
You know, so that that was interesting yesterday.
Chantée Christian (24:16):
No, and I think that had you had the tools
that you have now when you wereraising your, your girls, it
probably would have beendifferent Right Absolutely.
But you did what you could withwhat you had at the time.
Trini Sherman (24:33):
Absolutely no judgment, no criticism.
Just the awareness of thetransition and the growth you
know in that, and even with mydaughters, even being more open
to say here's my story, here'swhat my experiences have been.
So you won't be in your 50strying to figure this out, Let
me share now.
(24:53):
So even that, that piece Ifound to be important.
Chantée Christian (24:58):
I think that that's getting all sorts of
chills over here, because Ithink that that's.
I'm getting all sorts of chillsover here because I think that
that's so powerful, especiallywhen we talk about women of
color and the secrets that wedie with, right.
I think about my grandparents,grandmothers, specifically, and
(25:21):
I'm just like, why'd you hold onto that so hard, like, and it
was because of the judgment, theshame and you know the
conversations and all of thosethings.
And I just think about how,historically, we haven't created
(25:43):
spaces that feel safe to passon that type of knowledge that
you're passing on to your girls,right, who are grown women, but
to your daughters, right, right, and so I think that there's
Space For that type of elevationwithin the family unit.
Trini Sherman (26:08):
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's important Even, Ithink, from, I will say even for
myself, getting to a point offeeling comfortable sharing even
my own story myself.
Getting to a point of feelingcomfortable sharing even my own
story and knowing, in trying toI'll say it this way being the
(26:28):
nurturer, being the, the personthat take has taken care, you
know, of everybody for so long.
Getting to the place ofchoosing self, choosing myself,
choosing to honor every part ofmyself and beginning to
recognize that not using myvoice and speaking, like I said
(26:50):
earlier, is a power leak.
Now I get to choose how andwhen and where and what I share,
my choice and where and what Ishare.
Yeah, my choice, different thannot speaking, because
culturally it's you keep yourbusiness at home, you don't
share your story, and then itwhat it leads to is people, us,
(27:13):
walking around feeling likewe're the only one and that
something's wrong with me,specifically because I'm having
this experience versus this isan experience, this is something
that others experienced in this, and then they made it through.
So if you and the other part, Iguess, is, if we only share the
(27:34):
good, then you only get to seethe end of the story, then I
have no clue of looking at thatstory of what do I do when I'm
not there, except feel shamebecause I'm not where you are.
You know, that's the piece isI'm not where they are.
(27:54):
And even growing up in thechurch, some of that, like you
know, just do it this way, justhave faith, just walk the path,
you know.
But how, how, how, how and it'simportant to share the how.
How did I do it?
What are the tools that Ilearned along the way?
What are the obstacles I faced,what are the challenges?
(28:16):
What, like you said, what isthe?
Is that mindset piece, what'sthe negative language that I
have floating around in my headand you're like, oh, you think
that way too.
Oh, you had that.
That happens to you too.
Oh, okay, and so that can beencouraging and uplifting and
say, okay, well, if you can doit, then I can do it too and say
(28:42):
okay, well, if you can do it,then I can do it too.
Chantée Christian (28:44):
Well, if I ever needed confirmation that
what I wrote in my chapter waswhat I was supposed to be
writing, I chose to write from adifferent standpoint than I
would typically write, mostlybecause my higher power wouldn't
let me be great and just writewhat I wanted to write, and when
(29:11):
people reviewed it, theyweren't used to experiencing
that part of me.
They weren't used toexperiencing that part of me,
and so they felt like I wastalking down on myself or not
being this epitome of lightRight when the truth of the
(29:42):
matter is.
It's the reason why I titled mychapter Cease and Desist the
Internal BS.
Because it's me.
Do I present all of the thingsthat are floating around in this
Aquarian head?
Absolutely not, not outwardly.
There are a few people that getbits and pieces of it, but the
(30:04):
truth of the matter is I'm justlike everyone else.
However, because that's not howI present, people assume that I
got all my shit together.
I don't ever have doubts.
I'm telling y'all this projecthas been a big ball of doubt,
and not because I don't believein it and not because I don't.
(30:26):
I didn't know that it was what Iwas supposed to do, but it's
because I'd never done it beforein this way.
I've never been on this side ofthe house, been on this side of
the house, right.
(30:47):
I've never had to put this manypeople in one spot and have us
all with one mission for a halfa day in a thought process and
say go right.
And then get it back and belike, oh shit, we're doing it
all right, it's happening.
And then to be able to look atthe manuscript and be like I
(31:08):
could not have done this withoutGod's orchestrating every piece
and step of the way.
But when you talk about faith,right the the how for me it was.
I had to literally let go andtrust the process.
I had to trust that he told mewho, what, when and where.
(31:30):
All I had to do was go and doit.
Well, that's the hardest part,in my opinion.
I'm like sending an email noproblem.
Reaching out no problem.
Green light Whoa.
What are we supposed to do withthe green light?
Trini Sherman (31:50):
He said go right.
Chantée Christian (31:54):
And I'm saying that because I'm quick to
blame social media for theperception that it has on people
seeing things picture perfect.
But the truth of the matter is,with or without it, we see what
people give, and so part of thereason why I don't like to do
(32:16):
visual recordings is because Idon't want to get made up.
I want to look like I lookright now, homeless, I mean.
I want to be comfortable.
And because I have created thispersona, I wouldn't say it's a
(32:37):
persona, it's the truth.
And when I go outside, I getdressed.
My family is Southern, that'sjust what you do sometimes.
When you're in the house, youdress too, but it just depends
right.
But I wouldn't be caught deadon a 45 minute podcast without
with my hair not done, with abroken nail with no foundation
(33:01):
and that's still work I'mworking on.
So y'all don't come for me.
But with a broken nail with nofoundation and that's still work
I'm working on.
So y'all don't come for me.
But when people see me all theway together, they expect
something right.
And I'm like there are multiplepieces to me, and part of that
is the self-work that I work ontoo.
I'm a work in progress, and soI chose to do exactly what
(33:26):
you're talking about in mychapter because I felt like it
was time, and I felt like it wastime for me to kind of move the
veil and push the curtaincurtain back.
But I also felt like it wastime because there were, and are
(33:46):
, people who think that I justgot to D without having to go
through A and some numbers priorto that.
Right, I'm, I'm like you, justdon't.
There's this perception that wejust started and boom, you're
there, wow, everything's great,and it's like whoa, mm-mm, mm-mm
(34:10):
, you know.
And so I love the courage and Ilove the vulnerability that
comes with courage.
I told some of the authors thatI was going to get a shirt that
said dig deeper.
I feel like I said that toeveryone, and the tricky part
for me became when I had to sayit to myself.
(34:33):
I was reading my chapter and Iwas like gotta go deeper.
And I was like I don't want togo any deeper.
I don't want to, and then I didbecause I felt like y'all would
come after me if y'all read mychapter and I didn't go deeper.
Um, but I think that there's somuch power in as you were
(34:58):
talking about the communityright and having that support
and having people that have beenin various stages of where
you're at and where you'retrying to go, because without it
, how do you learn?
right yeah, I'm excited.
(35:21):
I'm excited, like I'm excited.
I'm excited about.
You know how you feel, likeyou're on the brink of something
.
You're unclear and unsure as towhat and how it'll look, but
(35:42):
you know that it's something.
I know that this book it's notjust a book, right Like.
There isn't a shadow of a doubtin my mind that it is more than
(36:04):
that, and I'm excited to watchGod do whatever it is he had
planned for this and just to bea part of his orchestration.
(36:28):
It's taken me a long time to beable to get to a point where I
can accept that I don't know andto accept that he doesn't need
my help because I'm helpful Atleast I like to think so and I
know that he doesn't need myhelp with this and I'm okay with
(36:48):
that.
And it doesn't mean I haven'tbeen frustrated.
It doesn't mean that I don'tget in my own feelings and in my
own way sometimes about it, butwhen I really sit still and I'm
comfortable with I did exactlywhat he told me to do.
(37:08):
He told me to do it and I didit, and I feel good about that.
I'm excited to set out to doexactly what I wanted to do with
the authors, which was give youall a platform to amplify your
voices, and what you do withthat is solely up to you, right?
I was talking to someone beforeI got on with you and they were
(37:32):
planning this like huge eventaround the book and I was like,
yes, I can't wait to come thebook.
And I was like, yes, I can'twait to come, um.
And so I'm like it's thosethings that I couldn't have
planned.
I didn't have any insight intoany of that, because that's not.
It wasn't, it's not my willright right, and so I'm excited
(37:54):
for that.
Trini Sherman (37:56):
Like it's just, I get so tickled when you're
speaking, one of the things I Ilike to write down the thoughts
that come to me, especially whenI'm walking and getting these
wisdom.
My coach calls them wisdomnuggets.
I'm sorry, wisdom keys, butanyway, you call them wisdom
(38:17):
nuggets.
Chantée Christian (38:17):
That's mine, it's one of my wisdom nuggets
that's yours, that's mine.
Trini Sherman (38:22):
Okay, what I wrote was the power is not in
knowing and understanding.
Speaking to Trini the power isnot in knowing and understanding
.
It's in the hearing andlistening for where the spirit
leads wait a Wait a minute, waita minute, hit us with it one
more time.
(38:42):
The power is not in knowing andunderstanding, it's in the
hearing and listening.
For where the spirit leadsimportant for me.
(39:02):
It just came to me a couple ofweeks ago because I really
prided myself in knowing andknowledge and understanding, and
even as a kid I can remember myparents saying I couldn't do
something.
I'm like, okay, it's fine, butI just need to understand why
you know, or I get to place Okay, I just need to understand,
just just help me understand.
And that became a struggle insome areas of life, because
(39:24):
there's some things you're justnever going to understand, the
things that I'm just like we'retalking about.
You're not going to know thewhole picture, but it's in when
I can hear, creating space tohear, and then listen and move
according to what I hear youknow, and so that has been
(39:48):
calming for me, to be at a placeof just listen see what comes
and then go with it.
Because all this knowledge canget really, really noisy and
confusing, Because it can be socontradictory.
Chantée Christian (40:10):
Yes, yes, because what we know, what we
fear and what we feel are hardlyever in sync Right, hardly ever
fear, and what we feel arehardly ever in sync right hardly
(40:31):
ever.
And then what we hear, what weknow, are hardly ever in sync
either.
Trini Sherman (40:33):
Yeah, it's that.
That.
That internal for me is thatfinding that place, that
internal knowing that thing.
When you like, when you'vepracticed enough to listen and
you know I used to do somethings like parking space, like
do I go on this aisle or do I goon that aisle and like testing
that, that unction in me.
(40:55):
Um, in the simplest of ways, sowhen I, you get to the place
where there's the, the realdecision to me you kind of and
was in more in tuned, and thenthere came a point in my life
where things got so crazy I justdidn't hear anymore because I
just just got way too noisy andthen I brought brought myself
back out, and so that's excitingfor me is to be in the place to
(41:17):
be able to hear yeah here againso that I can um release the
other stuff and just just trustand walk trust and walk.
Chantée Christian (41:29):
What are you hearing right now?
Trini Sherman (41:34):
what I'm hearing right now, at a point in time
I'm I'm a power player is whatI'm hearing right now.
What I'm hearing is that I'mreally really big, and that's
not in comparison to anyone else.
It's really I'm really big andit's time for me to recognize
the power that God has given me,the platform, the capacity to
(41:58):
create change in the world andto settle into that, while at
the same time digging deeper, asyou say, expanding, elevating
and enjoying the ride.
Like, just if it's not.
That's one line I've finallyfound, just if it's not.
That's one line I've finallyfound.
Like, if it's not an alignmentand it's not feeling good to me,
(42:23):
like if it doesn't, if I'm nothappy in it, it's not just giddy
happy, but getting to thatpoint I know like something's
off for me and I do not need tounderstand why it's off, I just
need to know that it's off andlet it go.
You know, because I've reallycome to understand also, that
(42:43):
just because I have thepotential to do something,
because I have the capacity,doesn't mean it's my calling, it
doesn't mean it's my lane, itdoesn't mean it's for me, maybe
not at this time.
So, even being patient with thetiming of things.
So, yeah, it just feels likethings are just opening up in a
(43:05):
way that had not existed before,and I'm at peace with that.
Chantée Christian (43:14):
I love this.
I love this.
It's reminding me of a clip Isaw with Red Fox and Muhammad
Ali and they're taking like aQ&A.
So I assume it's after a show.
I'm not 100% sure, but they'redoing this Q&A and they're
(43:36):
poking fun at each other, right?
Sure, but they're doing thisQ&A and they're they're poking
fun at each other, right?
And someone asks is MuhammadAli a question?
And his response was around him,like being people being
intimidated by him when he's inthe ring getting ready for a
fight.
And he said you know, I talktrash for me.
It's not about them.
(43:58):
I can't go back home knowingthat I talked all that trash and
lose, he said.
And so that's my way of hypingmyself up.
He said the thing is thatpeople don't understand that
what I'm talking about.
It has nothing to do with them.
And so when they get in thering, they think that I've
(44:19):
talked all this trash to them,when really I'm talking it to
myself.
He said I go in there to fightme, right?
And so when you talk aboutbeing big and it not being like
in comparison to anyone else,it's like, no, it's in
comparison to you.
Trini Sherman (44:38):
Right.
Chantée Christian (44:39):
Right and being able to say look at what
I've done for me in retrospectand in introspect is so much
bigger than any sort ofcomparison.
Trini Sherman (44:53):
Right and and and being like I said before, you
know, pushing for grades andalways wanting excellence and to
do well, yeah, and having thecapacity to do that, to
accomplish that.
I'll speak personally.
(45:13):
At times I didn't understandthe value, you know.
Ok, yeah, you got straight, gotstraight A's okay, that's what
you do it's not, but never.
and it's again, it's, and Idon't know if there's a woman or
it doesn't, but it's that beingin that place to say celebrate
(45:35):
my own brilliance and beingcomfortable speaking to that and
not having to play small, notchoosing to play small because
that will sound like you'rebragging.
You know, men have no problemtelling you how great they are,
generally, I mean at all Right,you know, and so it's.
(45:58):
I can't.
No one could have ever told methat I would be speaking this
way, even probably 30 minutesago.
That wasn't the plan, but it'swhat's come.
When you say what's coming up,that's what's coming up.
Is the importance of all thisgreatness that God has placed in
me for his purpose is worthy ofcelebration and expression, and
(46:22):
so that's what's coming up.
So, yeah, I'm brilliant, I'mamazing.
And here's the thing Eachindividual has that same place
that they can land and be.
Same place that they can landand be.
(46:42):
Period.
Nothing unique about me when Isay that it's that's the passion
for me, especially for women,is to ignite that fire inside
that says, yes, I'm worthy, yes,I'm powerful.
And even, like we spoke aboutthe next generation, beginning
to speak that to mygranddaughter, like, oh, you say
this, I say this, I am strong,I am powerful, I am beautiful.
(47:04):
You know all those affirmations.
We talk about sayingaffirmations but getting it to a
place that it's truth comingout of one's soul, not just an
intellectual reverberation ofyou know, just saying some words
, and that takes work and thattakes time.
Words, and that takes work andthat takes time, and I'm all
(47:24):
here for it to support otherwomen in doing that work, so
that they can believe it, liveit, be it, share it.
Chantée Christian (47:29):
Yes, this is a perfect time.
I told you it would happen foryou to.
We've talked about a lot andyet not really.
What would you like to leavethe people with?
Trini Sherman (47:52):
I would like to leave the people with my vision,
as I said earlier, that I havea vision of women, most
especially women, being on amountaintop of their purpose,
where they are alive and happyand free and dancing and full of
color and meaning and enjoyinglife and having the vision for
(48:19):
themselves of purposefulmovement, how that they can
touch others, to rise andelevate, to expand, and that, no
matter where you are in yourlife right now, there's hope,
there's purpose, there ismeaning and you have potential
(48:41):
in that, once you align it withyour purpose, you're going to
find that life can be an amazingjourney.
Even in the midst of thechallenges we see, you can have
the perspective of life is lifeand I get to be the most
beautiful version of myself inthe midst of it.
And I just want everybody toeverybody, even men I'm not I
(49:05):
don't know that I'm necessarilycalled to that ministry yet, but
who knows what's down?
But even our men need to knowthat it's okay to tell the truth
about who you are and where youare and what you're
experiencing, so that our womenor men can come together and
have rewarding relationships andempower one another.
(49:27):
So I know I said a lot,probably in that, and maybe not
a whole lot, but not one point.
I just really want people to beempowered to live the life that
God has called them to onpurpose, with purpose for
purpose, in every step of theway.
Chantée Christian (49:47):
I love it.
I love it.
Thank you so much for joiningme on my podcast.
Trini Sherman (49:52):
Thanks for having me.
It's been a blast.
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