March 8, 2025 • 40 mins
In this episode, Chantée Christian sits down with Nikki Walker, a seasoned public relations expert who has recently relaunched her PR agency after a seven-year corporate journey.
Hailing from Jersey City and now based in Utah, Nikki shares her experience navigating the complexities of entrepreneurship, shifting career paths, and finding community in unexpected places.
Together, they dive deep into the importance of representation, the power of personal evolution, and the strength of building connections that fuel both professional and personal growth. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about reinvention, resilience, and the journey of relaunching a dream.
Connect with Nikki via LinkedIn | Instagram.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chantée Christian (00:11):
Hi, nikki, how you doing today.
I'm so good, Chantée, so gladto be with you.
Yes, it's been what feels likea way too long, amen.
But before we get too into ourconversation today, tell the
people a little bit aboutyourself.
Nikki Walker (00:29):
Absolutely so.
I'm Nikki Walker.
I am a Utah resident for thepast seven years, hailing from
Jersey City, New Jersey.
I've been in public relationsand communications for the past
25 years and have justrelaunched my PR agency after a
seven-year stint in corporateAmerica.
So that is the long and theshort of it.
Chantée Christian (00:51):
I love it.
I love it.
I love a good entrepreneur.
So I remember first beingintroduced to you and thinking,
damn, I know two Black people inUtah.
To you and thinking, damn, Iknow two Black people in Utah.
Right, and every time I sayUtah, people were like are there
Black people there?
And it's a lot of Black peoplein Utah.
Nikki Walker (01:18):
There are.
There's a significant amount ofBlack people in Utah.
I think.
There are Black peopleeverywhere.
You just have to find thecommunity right.
So we're spread out.
We're pretty spread out here,but there are lots of activities
and events and organizationsthat pull us together regularly.
Chantée Christian (01:30):
I think that that's so important just
community right, because we aretogether because of a community
right, and so I think that oneof the things that you did not
mention right is that you are abest-selling author.
I am a best-selling author, asone of the things that you did
not mention right is that youare a best-selling author.
Nikki Walker (01:45):
I am a best-selling author, as one of
the featured authors in theamazing anthology Awareness.
Put Me On, yes, yes,best-selling on Amazon, amazing,
yes, thank you for the visionof this project and for having
me along for the ride.
Chantée Christian (02:06):
Thank you, I appreciate you coming, I
appreciate you trusting me withit and it's amazing of what
you've done with it.
And we met because Ico-authored a book with someone
else that we both know who hasactually also been on my podcast
.
Nikki Walker (02:22):
He's amazing.
Shout out to James Jackson.
Chantée Christian (02:24):
III.
Yes, but that's community,right, like?
I think that a lot of timeswhen people think about
community, they think about itin such a very narrow-minded
view and I think that, at leastfor me, I'll say, the older that
I've gotten, the more that Irealize that networking isn't
(02:48):
what it used to be.
Right.
Like what did someone tell me?
Your network, your network, isyour net worth, right?
And when I think about all thepeople that I have in my
community through some form ofnetworking, right it's been so
powerful and just life-changingfor me.
So I'm curious, because you movefrom the east coast to the
(03:12):
middle that's not the world,it's the west, it's definitely
the wild wild west.
Nikki Walker (03:18):
Yeah, see y'all the geography is not the West
Coast, but it is out West.
Chantée Christian (03:24):
Yes, and so how has community played a part
in all of the pivotal andamazing things that you've been
able to do?
Nikki Walker (03:37):
Yeah, I would not have been able to do any of it
without community.
I, when I came out here, Ithought I was going to be like
the only black girl and lookedup and was plugged in.
Was plugged in by two reallygreat friends, found out I was
in Salt Lake and said we'recoming to get you and you know,
come, scoop me up, brought me tochurch, introduced me to all of
the people.
(03:57):
And it is in community where Ifound my strength, where I found
a lot of my gifts were reallybrought out from and because of
community.
So, you know, I, one of thethings that anchors me here is
being a community connector andthat's something that I've
(04:19):
always done.
And for the seven years thatI've been here, I've been in
spaces, I've been in differentcommunities than a lot of other
people, right?
So sometimes I'm in spaces thatone of my communities doesn't
have access to, so I open thedoors so that they then have
access to that community.
Now are they going to what theydo with that is really on them.
(04:43):
But I trust that the peoplethat I let into or or introduced
to other circles or othercommunities, I trust that they
are going to do right by themRight, that they are going to
use the community and share withthe community as you do in
community that's powerful,because you also said something
(05:06):
that I think a lot of people are, I won't say, struggling with,
but it's like this reinvention,this re-acknowledgement of their
gifts and and being in placesthat nurture them, that really
help pull them out and supportthem, right.
Chantée Christian (05:28):
So you said that you were in these places
where your gifts were able toshine, essentially, and so, when
you think about your gifts,what would be like your top
three gifts?
Nikki Walker (05:45):
Oh, ok, in no particular order.
Yeah, emotional oration.
So I think that I have theability to talk and make people
feel things and they areencouraged to move on those
feelings, and so I think that'sone um.
(06:06):
Another is definitely like thisability to um, to see where
your piece fits somebody else'spiece.
So that networking is reallycore to me.
It's something that for myentire career it has been the
most important thing for me.
So you know, I've had anopportunity to use those skills
(06:28):
and talk about them and sharewith other people and watch
people network themselves into afrenzy, into a good frenzy,
right?
So that would be number thatwould.
And then my final gift, I think, is just the gift of
(06:49):
transparency.
Like the community has allowedme and received my transparency
in a way that I feel acceptedand encouraged to continue to be
transparent, and one of thethings that I learned when we
started kind of promoing thebook Awareness Put Me On is that
(07:11):
my transparency was changingpeople's lives, changing
people's perspectives, changingpeople's outlooks, and it is a
gift that lots of us have butwe're afraid to express right.
We're afraid of.
(07:31):
What are they going to think ofme?
What are they going to sayabout me?
And I came to a place wherenone of that mattered anymore
because it was divine for me,like, like, all of the things
that have been happening in theyear 2024 have been divine
alignment, and so I know whatGod thinks of me.
Chantée Christian (07:52):
Yeah, yeah, that's really like I'm getting
chills, and I say that becauseso often we are deterred from
our natural gifts because theydon't make money, they're not
(08:17):
always tangible, they lendthemselves to all these other
things and to other people'sperception right, and so we get
caught up in.
What will the people think?
What will they say?
How will they interact with meafter they know?
(08:38):
And I think that one of the mostpowerful things about living in
your truth and beingtransparent and being vulnerable
is that there's someone that'slooking, there's someone who
needs to hear the thing, becausethey're where you were and or
where you are or where you usedto be, and they also need some
(09:01):
sort of strength and some sortof encouragement.
Right, and like when we weredoing the book, even when you
and I had talked, I said, yes, Iexpect this book to do well,
and if only one person takesaway something from it, what is
it that they take away?
How do we shift the paradigmfor them?
(09:22):
And that's one of been some ofthe biggest feedback that I've
gotten about the book fromstrangers which I say that
because family and friends willhype you up, or sometimes, but
from strangers who don't know usat all.
Nikki Walker (09:41):
And.
Chantée Christian (09:41):
I say us because there's over 20 of us,
right, but that don't know us atall.
That said, the way that you allbared your souls and your
hearts out.
I saw me in almost everychapter and that to me was like
I don't even need to know whatchapters and where you saw you.
All I need to know is that wedid what we were supposed to do.
Nikki Walker (10:02):
That's right.
We understood the assignments.
That's it the assignment.
Chantée Christian (10:07):
Yeah, and I think that a lot of times
communities forget theassignment.
Nikki Walker (10:14):
Mm-hmm.
A lot of times, communitiesforget that the assignment is
community and while we arepursuing our individual feats,
we become gatekeepers, or webecome mean girls or boys, or we
become so far detached from thecommunity that the things that
(10:37):
we're doing don't even makesense for the community anymore.
Chantée Christian (10:40):
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
It's also reminding me of likeknowing who your customer is.
Nikki Walker (10:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Chantée Christian (10:49):
That's super important, because if you don't
know, you're doing things andlike, oh, no one's coming.
Well, that's not your communitybase, right?
And so I'm curious, becausewe're using the term community
(11:09):
and I have a definition in myhead, but how would you define
community?
Nikki Walker (11:14):
I define community as as this you know, a space
that you can't touch, but aspace that is filled with
individuals whose goal it is toimprove the circumstances of the
whole.
That's what I think communityis.
So, whether that's the Blackcommunity or the tech community,
or women in leadershipcommunity, I think everybody's
(11:37):
goal is to improve thecircumstance of the whole.
Chantée Christian (11:42):
That's dope, that's dope.
Nikki Walker (11:43):
Okay, what's your definition?
Chantée Christian (11:46):
Ooh, so I feel like my definition might be
a little churchy, but it's likewhere two or more convene with
a common purpose is and desireto execute on the purpose is
(12:10):
community to me, like I used tosay when I was on the dating
circuit, that I wanted to be incommunity with my partner, and
people used to be like what areyou talking about?
And I'm like I want to be in aspace where we agree on why
we're here and what we're doinghere and how we move forward.
(12:35):
Right, and so, like, when Ithink about community, I think
about it probably a little moremicro, right, obviously, it has
huge macro components and piecesto it, but I think that someone
, when I was just talking aboutthis, actually about impact, a
(12:57):
lot of my clients come in sayingI want to have big impact and
I'm like, yeah, that's so cutebecause you can have huge impact
, because you can have hugeimpact and what you think
sometimes is small impact hasfar, far, far more reach.
Nikki Walker (13:18):
Right, you'll ever know it's the ripple effect,
right?
Yeah, I've been reading a lotor, or, more efficiently, saying
, I've been watching a lot ofpeople talking about delayed
gratification oh my gosh.
And so, like this whole ideathat I want to make an impact.
(13:38):
Great, that's real.
The impact that you have inyour head, this place and space
that you're going to be at.
You have to understand that ittakes a lot of small impacts to
get to that place, and when youcan't stop and celebrate the
small things, when you are notstopping and recognizing that,
(14:00):
look, I just made an impact herebecause you're waiting for this
big boom to happen, you'regoing to miss it.
Chantée Christian (14:06):
You missed the whole thing, you miss it.
No, for sure, for sure.
And and that's, I think that'spart of a a culture of lack of
presence.
Right, like so often, we areconditioned, I would say.
I would say we're more soconditioned than not to think
(14:26):
about the past and the futurebut not to focus on the present.
Right, and when you're notfocused on the present, you
don't even see the wins.
That's right.
So how can you get any sort ofgratification from it if you
don't see it?
Nikki Walker (14:41):
And there it is and that's such a great point.
Yeah, you're so pressed to berewarded and you know you're
just so pressed that you areliterally looking past the thing
that is happening.
That is so great and so amazingand so impactful and you don't
(15:04):
see it.
And that's how we get intospaces where we get burned out.
You don't see it and that's howwe get into spaces where we get
burned out or we start to haveimposter syndrome because we
haven't been present in themoment and seeing what everybody
else sees.
We don't see that because we'reall already onto the next thing
.
Chantée Christian (15:20):
Yes, y'all can't see me, but my head is
about to roll off my neckbecause I can't stop shaking it.
Right, it's especially when wetalk about imposter syndrome,
when we talk about um, like it'ssomething about.
When I think about generationsright and I even take the
(15:41):
generations out when you thinkabout decades of life, right
when you were in your 20s, yourfocus most of the time is
getting the house, the marriage,the kids, the dog, the whatever
.
Bars right, right.
(16:03):
Then in your 30s you'reclimbing this ladder because you
got to get there, got to getthere, got to get there.
And in your 40s you're kind ofassessing do I still want to get
there if I haven't gotten therealready?
And if not, what else am Igoing to do?
Because I don't know that I'min love with that anymore, right
(16:23):
.
And then in your 50s you'relike OK, got a few more years
before I can officially retire.
I really don't want to have myfoot on the gas like that
anymore.
So what does it look like to beable to be Right?
And in your 60s it's like well,let me recalculate.
Can I retire?
Am I ready to retire?
What do I do when I retire?
(16:51):
And I'm speaking about thisgenerally, based off of the
people that have been in myspaces and myself, and what I
find is that around 28, 29,around 48, 49, around around 58,
(17:12):
59, there's this moment of holyshit.
What have I done?
It's nothing that I hadimagined.
And if I could go back right,and not to say that there are
(17:33):
regrets, right, just if I couldgo back I would probably have
paid a little bit more attention, I would have said something
different, I probably wouldn'thave took that job and that pay
cut.
You know all of the things thatnow have made us who we are and
(17:55):
are part of our story.
However, we weren't present inthose time frames because we
were chasing something else.
Nikki Walker (18:05):
Oh my gosh so true .
Chantée Christian (18:07):
Right.
That chase lends us to now isnot only is it delayed
gratification, it is instantsorrow.
Come on with it Right, and wedon't even know why, sometimes A
lot of times.
A lot of times, yeah, which iswhy community is so important,
(18:32):
because when you're aroundpeople who are in these
different phases, they can helpyou identify what's going on
with you.
Nikki Walker (18:44):
I talk about people and community as your
board of directors right, andwhen you have a large community
or several communities, you getto pull expertise from different
perspectives.
Right, and as the CEO of yourown life, you get to build your
board of directors, and thosepeople should be people who
(19:07):
offer you a mirror, who offeryou stern and loving correction
where necessary.
Those should be people who seethe real you and let you know
when you slip in.
Right.
Those, those are the kinds ofpeople who you know are running
the company that is you arehelping you to direct the
company.
That is you and it's soimportant.
(19:28):
That is you are helping you todirect the company.
That is you and it's soimportant.
This life is not meant to bedone alone, and and and being
unmarried doesn't make you aloneright.
It is about partnerships andand relationships past, you know
, romantic.
This is real life.
This is, this is adulting 101,like for real yeah, and I mean
(19:52):
it just.
Chantée Christian (19:52):
And that whole idea of being single and
alone blows me, because I knowso many people who are married
and or with longtime partnerswho also feel alone, and so it's
not about having a physicalbody in a space with you that
(20:16):
makes you on alone.
And so often I work with a lotof execs and people that have
just all different spans of life.
Execs and people that have justall different spans of life.
Usually the number one thingthat is something that we work
(20:37):
on is that they don't know whothey are, and I mean like who
you are right, so like whatmakes you happy, are right, so
like what makes you happy, likewhat actually brings you joy,
what keeps that flame of joyburning, even in the midst of
the chaos.
But who are you outside ofbeing a mom?
(21:01):
Who are you outside of being adad?
Who are you outside of being apartner?
Who are you outside of thetitle that you have at your job?
Like who are you?
Nikki Walker (21:18):
it takes a lot of work to answer that question.
It takes a lot of work toanswer that question and it's
hard work, like this is, it'snot.
It's not amusement park timelike it is.
Dig in, sit down, figure it out, talk to yourself.
You know, take the bandaid off.
It's so much to get into, it'sfrightening, quite frankly, and
(21:40):
it takes courage and you know alot, of, a lot of us have to
work our way up to that of a lotof us have to work our way up
to that.
Chantée Christian (21:48):
Listen.
I tell anyone who will listen,if you have a therapist or coach
, that don't have a therapistand or a coach you need to go
get you a new therapist and orcoach, because we are all works
in progress, right, and whichmeans like we've been at some
stage of where you're, at whichmeans like we've been at some
(22:10):
stage of where you're at Right,which is why we're helpful.
Right.
Like there was a time where Ithought that I knew who I was.
I told you I know exactly who Iam, ow Right.
And then when I heard it andwhen I saw it, it wasn't who I
was.
It was who people wanted me tobe, or who people thought.
Nikki Walker (22:33):
I was yeah.
Chantée Christian (22:34):
Who people have projected so much of all of
the things.
And so when I started peelingback the onion with some support
because, like you said, it doestake courage, it takes a level
of vulnerability with yourselfthat is unmatched.
Nikki Walker (22:54):
Yes, yes.
Chantée Christian (22:56):
Because you got to look in the mirror and
say, well, who are you Like?
What makes me laugh?
I can tell you all the thingsthat don't make me laugh Right,
because we can default to thatreally easy.
Things that don't make me laughright, because we can default
to that really easy.
But we hardly ever again in thepresent are able to say what we
(23:17):
enjoy, who we are right, and Isay that in so many different
things, in so many differentspaces.
But, like, if you can't tell mewho you are, then you can't
tell me the communities that youneed to be in.
You can't tell me who you are,then you can't tell me the
communities that you need to bein.
You can't tell me the type ofpartner that you want.
You can't tell me the careerthat you aspire to have.
(23:37):
You can't actually tell me yourgifts and believe them, because
you don't even know you ownthem Right.
Nikki Walker (23:45):
That's a sad, sad, sad place to be in.
Chantée Christian (23:48):
And yet so many of us have either been
there unconsciously and or arestill there very unconsciously.
Nikki Walker (23:56):
Or sometimes very consciously, and that's when I
have a problem cloud over ourhead because we would rather the
comfort of what we know thanthe discomfort of getting to the
next level of self.
Chantée Christian (24:17):
Oh, because it's easier to stay in comfort.
Nikki Walker (24:20):
Absolutely.
It's the devil, you know.
Chantée Christian (24:23):
Right, and it's something about that,
though, that just grinds mygears, because when I know
better, right.
What's the saying?
When you know better, you dobetter, you do better.
And so when I choose not to,then I also don't understand why
I keep getting opportunitiespresented to me to work on that
(24:46):
thing, and it's because you'reignoring it.
It has been brought to lightand you're ignoring it.
Nikki Walker (24:53):
I love how you put that opportunities for me to
work on that thing, becausethat's what it's going to be.
You're going to call it chaos.
You're going to say it's stress.
You're going to say why arethese things happening to me?
Instead of saying, oh look, nowI have an opportunity to work
on that thing.
Get it over with, do the workand move on, because if you
(25:13):
don't, it's going to circle backaround and it's bringing
friends.
Chantée Christian (25:17):
Listen, it's bringing some big time friends.
Yes, big time friends, big timefriends, friends you would
rather not have in your circle.
Nikki Walker (25:27):
You don't want to meet them in an alley.
You don't want to meet them ina dark alley.
Chantée Christian (25:33):
And you know it's funny.
I was listening to Sarah JakesRoberts this morning and she
said something that reminded meof the last few years.
For me.
She said you know, when we gointo prayer and asking God to
(25:57):
continue to and this is a prayerI'm paraphrasing.
So don't, don't, y'all don'tquote me, but essentially she
was saying when we go to God inprayer and we say, you know,
help us be in the image of you,help us be and embody the image
(26:17):
of Jesus, and what does thatlook like and feel like?
And I thought to myself I'vegot to stop praying that and I'm
going to Y'all can't see herand I'm going to Y'all can't see
her.
Well, and I say that because mychapter was originally going to
(26:40):
be my 40 was Jesus is 33.
Nikki Walker (26:47):
Ooh.
Chantée Christian (26:56):
And I got a lot of pushback on it and I said
okay, and I got the pushbackbecause they wanted me to share
the story different, and whichwas how we got to what's in
awareness.
Put me on now, and my 40 wasJesus is 33.
I went through more than Icould ever have thought and or
imagined and I kept saying Idon't understand.
(27:19):
Like God, did you forget that Iwas here?
Like hello, do you see me?
Like hello, do you see me?
And it was in some of thosevery self-inflicting moments
(27:44):
where I was like, oh, this isfor me to practice my empathy,
this is for me to practicecompassion.
Nikki Walker (27:50):
Oh, all right out here casting spells with your
prayers and scared when it comeback to you.
Oh do it, oh do it oof right.
Chantée Christian (28:04):
this is me learning how to love
unconditionally.
This is me sticking througheven though I don't know right,
like it was in those times whereI was like, if so, there's this
um, I can't think of thescripture at the moment, but the
(28:27):
essentially the story is that,you know, jesus is upset with
the disciples because they fellasleep and for the longest time
I was like they, so lazy.
Them jokers was lazy, and whenI dug deeper into the scripture
and done some research, thetruth of the matter is they were
(28:47):
saddened with grief and theywere depressed because they
heard Jesus' cry and his senseof grief and angst and it
worried them and the only thingthat they could do was sleep.
And not only did it shift myjudgment, but it shifted my own
(29:15):
perspective of my own situation.
Nikki Walker (29:18):
Right.
Chantée Christian (29:19):
Like if Jesus knew what was going to happen
and was crying out to God like,hey, can you reconsider, girl?
Who am I to not sit on this bedand cry my heart out when I
don't know?
But if he knew and still hadpain and angst, so that the
(29:45):
people around him had pain andangst, then who am I not to?
And it was a lesson inreleasing my judgment.
Yes, right, like.
There were so many things for methat were happening where I was
(30:06):
like this, this one, this, thisis what being like Jesus is.
I want a refund.
I don't want to be like Jesus,I want to be like Peter.
But I say that to say a lot oftimes we don't realize what
(30:31):
we're saying and what we'reasking for and what it looks
like when we get it back.
Right, like, I would have alwaystold you I am a God God fearing
woman, cause I am.
I would have told you I'm, I'm,I'm not um, I'm not actually,
(30:52):
I'm made in his image, but I'm awhole lot more like Peter than
not.
Okay, and in those moments Iunderstand now that what I was
going through was for me and itwas for the future impact that
(31:15):
I'll be able to have Right,right, right, um, which I think
is powerful from the perspectiveof none of this is what I asked
for, right?
Well, I mean, god got a senseof humor, you know, yeah,
(31:38):
sometimes he's not that funny,but to me, but, I'm living in my
gifts, I'm living in my truthand I have a hell of a community
that supports me, and I thinkthat my community has shifted as
(32:11):
I have shifted.
Nikki Walker (32:13):
Yes, can we talk about that real quick?
Chantée Christian (32:16):
Go ahead.
Nikki Walker (32:16):
Yes, the community .
The community has shifted asyou have shifted.
I am experiencing that rightnow and the journey is new, but
it is felt and it's hard.
It is very difficult toseparate yourself from others
(32:48):
when you have been connected tothem for so long.
But the truth of the matter is,as you know, all of the people
say everybody can't goeverywhere, everything is not
for everybody, and the higheryou get, the less chance of
being able to breathe there is,and everybody don't have iron
(33:12):
lungs like me, so some folks gotto stay at, you know, base camp
while I trek up to the peak ofthe mountain.
And while in theory that shouldbe okay, we are real life human
beings with feelings andemotions and ideas and
(33:34):
perceptions, and so it gets alittle messy when you come to
the point where you have to makea stance that is best for you,
best for your business, best foryour future.
You have to do those things,though, like we have to do hard
things, and you know everyapproach might not be right and
(33:57):
there are going to be somemistakes and hiccups in these
moments where you are decidedlydismissing yourself from places
and spaces that no longer serveyou and spaces that no longer
serve you.
You have to make the harddecision and I'm saying it like
(34:17):
this because somebody had to sayit like this to me for me to
understand it, because I mulledover it and I cried over it and
I worried about it.
But, just like all other things, I give it to God and he will
give me the wisdom to approachthe situations in a way that
(34:37):
people will walk away with someunderstanding.
But understand, dear lady, dearsir, understand that if it is
your intention to keep on moving, you're going to have to leave
some folks at base camp.
Chantée Christian (34:53):
That's it no.
I love this because we buildrelationships, we build rapport
and, like you said, we're humansand so we have emotions
attached and memories attachedto the people, to the situation,
(35:14):
to the thing, and that's okay.
Yes, that is okay.
What's also okay is to createboundaries that honor you, right
?
And one of my clients saidearlier this week actually,
which I was crawling in my skin,but she said well, I want to
create boundaries that peoplewill be okay with and respect.
(35:36):
And I said, no, no, sweet pea,that's never going to happen.
There will always be someone whodoes not appreciate the
boundary that you created.
The only way that makes it agreat boundary is if you hold it
true that you created.
The only way that makes it agreat boundary is if you hold it
true.
So you have to createboundaries that you are able to
say and are comfortable with,because you're going to have to
(35:58):
stand 10 toes down on them andyou're going to have to yourself
, right, Because people willpush, people will tap, and it's
only because that's what theywere used to, because this new
boundary has created protection,right, and so how do you
continually protect yourself andgrow, right?
(36:19):
It's almost like um, perfectexample, flowers um, I can't
think of the one that has, likethe elephant ears, almost um I
can't think of the name of it,but you have to cut it.
And it grows back, but you haveto cut it in order to grow back
in order for it to grow back.
(36:40):
It's the same thing withfriends.
It's the same thing withcommunity.
It's the same thing withletting people go.
Sometimes you have to cutpeople and they may or may not
come back.
Nikki Walker (36:51):
Yes, and that is the.
That is the thing.
The thing is right.
We're in people's lives forreasons and or seasons, right,
and so perhaps this is just theseason where it is time for me
to do something different andyou don't fit into that
schematic.
But that doesn't mean that nextseason you don't get to come
(37:12):
back and make a guest appearance.
That doesn't mean that youdon't become a season regular
two years down the line.
We don't know what is going tohappen next.
We know that in this seasonthere are cast members that need
to take a break.
We need to retire them from theshow.
That does not mean they don'tcome back, and I think, when
(37:34):
we're explaining our journey topeople who we have outgrown
right, I think that that is animportant point to make.
It doesn't because, as you saidearlier, like these memories
are real.
These experiences that we havehad are real.
These emotions that we haveshared together they are real.
They don't go anywhere.
(37:55):
They don't go anywhere.
They don't?
Chantée Christian (37:58):
They don't.
You know, it's interesting,it's so funny.
As you were talking, I was likewe're both Aquarius and I am
really good at not talking topeople about why they're not in
my life anymore.
So this, which is alsosomething I'm working on, right.
Nikki Walker (38:14):
I said it's an early, hard journey, did not?
Early and hard honey.
Early because I just assumedstop speaking to you.
I just assumed don't pick upthe phone no more.
But that was that's old Nikki,right, that's, that's uninvolved
Nikki.
You know, this is, this isNikki who not only understands
that I deserve to be able tospeak my truth, but other people
(38:39):
you know I'm, I.
I have given up myself to otherpeople so much so that walking
away without saying what hashappened, it's just rude.
It's rude.
It doesn't honor therelationship.
It doesn't honor the time andenergy spent on and with it
doesn't, and so you know.
So for me, it's important thatI make it plain.
(39:03):
I'm clear about everything elsewith.
Everybody Should be clear aboutwhere I stand.
Chantée Christian (39:08):
No, I think that's really important,
especially for people whotypically have an avoidant
characteristic when it comes towhat they perceive as conflict
right.
And having a conversation withsomeone that may be
uncomfortable does notautomatically mean conflict.
Like we got to stop watchingreality TV, thinking that if we
(39:31):
tell somebody you know what Ilove you, I'm going to pull back
right now, that all of a suddenwe got to go and have a whole
commotion.
No, no, and if that's the case,then that's the answer.
Nikki Walker (39:44):
That's the answer.
That's the absolute answer, andthe whole thing was was a lie
to begin with, and so chalk itup to the cost of doing business
right and move on.
Now you know everything youever needed to know.
Chantée Christian (39:58):
Yeah, I mean, I could go on a whole diatribe
about how you think that you'rein certain relationships and
certain spaces with people andthen they show you who they are
and you decide to stay.
Well, that's the same thing aswith a romantic relationship
when you stay somewhere too long, baby, you're gonna want to get
burnt, not the person.
yes, right, and that's okayright and and it's okay to enter
(40:24):
a community, I feel like you'renot supposed to be there and to
leave it and to come back to itLike it's always okay, and I
think that that's one of thebiggest things.
Like people, by nature, right,we don't like rejection, right,
but we'll reject without thought, we will reject without purpose
(40:48):
and without intent, and so whenwe're talking about having
these uncomfortableconversations, it is being
intentional and purposeful aboutthe relationship.
Right, and Keith Lee says itall the time, I'm not the target
(41:09):
audience for this Right, and Imay not the target audience for
this Right and I may not be yourtarget audience anymore, and
that's okay.
Nikki Walker (41:19):
Exactly.
Chantée Christian (41:20):
That's okay, this was good.
Nikki Walker (41:24):
Yeah right, we should do this every week.
Chantée Christian (41:28):
You tripping you know I'm lying.
We're going gonna try to makesure that that come out.
So I'm curious.
We've talked about quite a fewthings.
Um, what would you want to makesure that you leave the people
with?
Nikki Walker (41:49):
um, what do I want to leave the people with?
Yeah, we kind of covered amyriad of things, but I think
the thing and I'll tie it intoawareness put me on the thing
that I want to leave people withthat I think this discussion
has kind of embodied is the timeis now for you to become aware
of who you are and what you needin order to thrive and in order
(42:13):
to succeed in a way thatdoesn't hurt.
You have to take the time toexamine you.
That's what I want to leavepeople with.
You know it's Suicide AwarenessMonth.
I don't know when this is goingto air, but right now in
September, it's SuicideAwareness Month and I'm speaking
from the perspective of a Blackwoman, and Black people in
(42:36):
these Americas have a verydifficult time with mental
health awareness and you know,and just taking care of that and
it's ingrained in us generationafter generation, care of that
and it's ingrained in usgeneration after generation.
We can talk about it all theway back to how we had to
(42:57):
protect ourselves in theenslaved days, and we can really
follow the path that makes thissuch a taboo.
We can follow the line of whythis is taboo, but it's a new
day.
It's a new day and we now areresponsible for ourselves
because we have the information.
(43:17):
We know what mental healthdisparities look like.
We know that we are sufferingfrom mental health ailments.
We can identify them in ourfriends and our family and
refuse to look at ourselves.
So I say to everybody pleasetake a look at yourself and see
(43:38):
what it is that you need,because nobody else is going to
give you what you need.
Chantée Christian (43:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's good, yeah,
that's good.
I'm glad you like it.
Nikki Walker (43:58):
That's good.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm glad you like it.
That's good.
So tell the people how can theyfind you?
Yes, yes, you can find me onInstagram, my favorite place to
play at Nikki Walker PR, andthat's N-I-K-K-I Walker PR, or
my brand page, which is n-w-p-rdot consulting, and of course,
I'm nikki walker on linkedin,which is my other favorite adult
(44:20):
social media platform where wecan follow and partner and learn
and do all of the things.
So yeah, I'm out there in theworld, y'allall.
Chantée Christian (44:29):
Yeah, she is.
Her content is dope.
So make sure you follow andI'll make sure that your
information is inside thepodcast notes so they can also
capture it there.
I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being a part ofthis journey with me.
Thank you for trusting theprocess.
(44:50):
Thank you for, even thoughthere were times where you had
doubt, that you set it aside towalk in your truth so that
others could benefit from whatyou had to share.
So I just want to say thank you.
Nikki Walker (45:09):
My absolute pleasure and thank you.
Nothing is by mistake and uscrossing paths is no different.
So thank you for being a partof my community and just being a
bright light in all thecommunities where you exist.
Thank you.
Hi, nikki, how you doing today.
I'm so good, Chantée, so gladto be with you.
Yes, it's been what feels likea way too long, amen.
But before we get too into ourconversation today, tell the
people a little bit aboutyourself.
Nikki Walker (00:29):
Absolutely so.
I'm Nikki Walker.
I am a Utah resident for thepast seven years, hailing from
Jersey City, New Jersey.
I've been in public relationsand communications for the past
25 years and have justrelaunched my PR agency after a
seven-year stint in corporateAmerica.
So that is the long and theshort of it.
Chantée Christian (00:51):
I love it.
I love it.
I love a good entrepreneur.
So I remember first beingintroduced to you and thinking,
damn, I know two Black people inUtah.
To you and thinking, damn, Iknow two Black people in Utah.
Right, and every time I sayUtah, people were like are there
Black people there?
And it's a lot of Black peoplein Utah.
Nikki Walker (01:18):
There are.
There's a significant amount ofBlack people in Utah.
I think.
There are Black peopleeverywhere.
You just have to find thecommunity right.
So we're spread out.
We're pretty spread out here,but there are lots of activities
and events and organizationsthat pull us together regularly.
Chantée Christian (01:30):
I think that that's so important just
community right, because we aretogether because of a community
right, and so I think that oneof the things that you did not
mention right is that you are abest-selling author.
I am a best-selling author, asone of the things that you did
not mention right is that youare a best-selling author.
Nikki Walker (01:45):
I am a best-selling author, as one of
the featured authors in theamazing anthology Awareness.
Put Me On, yes, yes,best-selling on Amazon, amazing,
yes, thank you for the visionof this project and for having
me along for the ride.
Chantée Christian (02:06):
Thank you, I appreciate you coming, I
appreciate you trusting me withit and it's amazing of what
you've done with it.
And we met because Ico-authored a book with someone
else that we both know who hasactually also been on my podcast
.
Nikki Walker (02:22):
He's amazing.
Shout out to James Jackson.
Chantée Christian (02:24):
III.
Yes, but that's community,right, like?
I think that a lot of timeswhen people think about
community, they think about itin such a very narrow-minded
view and I think that, at leastfor me, I'll say, the older that
I've gotten, the more that Irealize that networking isn't
(02:48):
what it used to be.
Right.
Like what did someone tell me?
Your network, your network, isyour net worth, right?
And when I think about all thepeople that I have in my
community through some form ofnetworking, right it's been so
powerful and just life-changingfor me.
So I'm curious, because you movefrom the east coast to the
(03:12):
middle that's not the world,it's the west, it's definitely
the wild wild west.
Nikki Walker (03:18):
Yeah, see y'all the geography is not the West
Coast, but it is out West.
Chantée Christian (03:24):
Yes, and so how has community played a part
in all of the pivotal andamazing things that you've been
able to do?
Nikki Walker (03:37):
Yeah, I would not have been able to do any of it
without community.
I, when I came out here, Ithought I was going to be like
the only black girl and lookedup and was plugged in.
Was plugged in by two reallygreat friends, found out I was
in Salt Lake and said we'recoming to get you and you know,
come, scoop me up, brought me tochurch, introduced me to all of
the people.
(03:57):
And it is in community where Ifound my strength, where I found
a lot of my gifts were reallybrought out from and because of
community.
So, you know, I, one of thethings that anchors me here is
being a community connector andthat's something that I've
(04:19):
always done.
And for the seven years thatI've been here, I've been in
spaces, I've been in differentcommunities than a lot of other
people, right?
So sometimes I'm in spaces thatone of my communities doesn't
have access to, so I open thedoors so that they then have
access to that community.
Now are they going to what theydo with that is really on them.
(04:43):
But I trust that the peoplethat I let into or or introduced
to other circles or othercommunities, I trust that they
are going to do right by themRight, that they are going to
use the community and share withthe community as you do in
community that's powerful,because you also said something
(05:06):
that I think a lot of people are, I won't say, struggling with,
but it's like this reinvention,this re-acknowledgement of their
gifts and and being in placesthat nurture them, that really
help pull them out and supportthem, right.
Chantée Christian (05:28):
So you said that you were in these places
where your gifts were able toshine, essentially, and so, when
you think about your gifts,what would be like your top
three gifts?
Nikki Walker (05:45):
Oh, ok, in no particular order.
Yeah, emotional oration.
So I think that I have theability to talk and make people
feel things and they areencouraged to move on those
feelings, and so I think that'sone um.
(06:06):
Another is definitely like thisability to um, to see where
your piece fits somebody else'spiece.
So that networking is reallycore to me.
It's something that for myentire career it has been the
most important thing for me.
So you know, I've had anopportunity to use those skills
(06:28):
and talk about them and sharewith other people and watch
people network themselves into afrenzy, into a good frenzy,
right?
So that would be number thatwould.
And then my final gift, I think, is just the gift of
(06:49):
transparency.
Like the community has allowedme and received my transparency
in a way that I feel acceptedand encouraged to continue to be
transparent, and one of thethings that I learned when we
started kind of promoing thebook Awareness Put Me On is that
(07:11):
my transparency was changingpeople's lives, changing
people's perspectives, changingpeople's outlooks, and it is a
gift that lots of us have butwe're afraid to express right.
We're afraid of.
(07:31):
What are they going to think ofme?
What are they going to sayabout me?
And I came to a place wherenone of that mattered anymore
because it was divine for me,like, like, all of the things
that have been happening in theyear 2024 have been divine
alignment, and so I know whatGod thinks of me.
Chantée Christian (07:52):
Yeah, yeah, that's really like I'm getting
chills, and I say that becauseso often we are deterred from
our natural gifts because theydon't make money, they're not
(08:17):
always tangible, they lendthemselves to all these other
things and to other people'sperception right, and so we get
caught up in.
What will the people think?
What will they say?
How will they interact with meafter they know?
(08:38):
And I think that one of the mostpowerful things about living in
your truth and beingtransparent and being vulnerable
is that there's someone that'slooking, there's someone who
needs to hear the thing, becausethey're where you were and or
where you are or where you usedto be, and they also need some
(09:01):
sort of strength and some sortof encouragement.
Right, and like when we weredoing the book, even when you
and I had talked, I said, yes, Iexpect this book to do well,
and if only one person takesaway something from it, what is
it that they take away?
How do we shift the paradigmfor them?
(09:22):
And that's one of been some ofthe biggest feedback that I've
gotten about the book fromstrangers which I say that
because family and friends willhype you up, or sometimes, but
from strangers who don't know usat all.
Nikki Walker (09:41):
And.
Chantée Christian (09:41):
I say us because there's over 20 of us,
right, but that don't know us atall.
That said, the way that you allbared your souls and your
hearts out.
I saw me in almost everychapter and that to me was like
I don't even need to know whatchapters and where you saw you.
All I need to know is that wedid what we were supposed to do.
Nikki Walker (10:02):
That's right.
We understood the assignments.
That's it the assignment.
Chantée Christian (10:07):
Yeah, and I think that a lot of times
communities forget theassignment.
Nikki Walker (10:14):
Mm-hmm.
A lot of times, communitiesforget that the assignment is
community and while we arepursuing our individual feats,
we become gatekeepers, or webecome mean girls or boys, or we
become so far detached from thecommunity that the things that
(10:37):
we're doing don't even makesense for the community anymore.
Chantée Christian (10:40):
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
It's also reminding me of likeknowing who your customer is.
Nikki Walker (10:47):
Yeah, yeah.
Chantée Christian (10:49):
That's super important, because if you don't
know, you're doing things andlike, oh, no one's coming.
Well, that's not your communitybase, right?
And so I'm curious, becausewe're using the term community
(11:09):
and I have a definition in myhead, but how would you define
community?
Nikki Walker (11:14):
I define community as as this you know, a space
that you can't touch, but aspace that is filled with
individuals whose goal it is toimprove the circumstances of the
whole.
That's what I think communityis.
So, whether that's the Blackcommunity or the tech community,
or women in leadershipcommunity, I think everybody's
(11:37):
goal is to improve thecircumstance of the whole.
Chantée Christian (11:42):
That's dope, that's dope.
Nikki Walker (11:43):
Okay, what's your definition?
Chantée Christian (11:46):
Ooh, so I feel like my definition might be
a little churchy, but it's likewhere two or more convene with
a common purpose is and desireto execute on the purpose is
(12:10):
community to me, like I used tosay when I was on the dating
circuit, that I wanted to be incommunity with my partner, and
people used to be like what areyou talking about?
And I'm like I want to be in aspace where we agree on why
we're here and what we're doinghere and how we move forward.
(12:35):
Right, and so, like, when Ithink about community, I think
about it probably a little moremicro, right, obviously, it has
huge macro components and piecesto it, but I think that someone
, when I was just talking aboutthis, actually about impact, a
(12:57):
lot of my clients come in sayingI want to have big impact and
I'm like, yeah, that's so cutebecause you can have huge impact
, because you can have hugeimpact and what you think
sometimes is small impact hasfar, far, far more reach.
Nikki Walker (13:18):
Right, you'll ever know it's the ripple effect,
right?
Yeah, I've been reading a lotor, or, more efficiently, saying
, I've been watching a lot ofpeople talking about delayed
gratification oh my gosh.
And so, like this whole ideathat I want to make an impact.
(13:38):
Great, that's real.
The impact that you have inyour head, this place and space
that you're going to be at.
You have to understand that ittakes a lot of small impacts to
get to that place, and when youcan't stop and celebrate the
small things, when you are notstopping and recognizing that,
(14:00):
look, I just made an impact herebecause you're waiting for this
big boom to happen, you'regoing to miss it.
Chantée Christian (14:06):
You missed the whole thing, you miss it.
No, for sure, for sure.
And and that's, I think that'spart of a a culture of lack of
presence.
Right, like so often, we areconditioned, I would say.
I would say we're more soconditioned than not to think
(14:26):
about the past and the futurebut not to focus on the present.
Right, and when you're notfocused on the present, you
don't even see the wins.
That's right.
So how can you get any sort ofgratification from it if you
don't see it?
Nikki Walker (14:41):
And there it is and that's such a great point.
Yeah, you're so pressed to berewarded and you know you're
just so pressed that you areliterally looking past the thing
that is happening.
That is so great and so amazingand so impactful and you don't
(15:04):
see it.
And that's how we get intospaces where we get burned out.
You don't see it and that's howwe get into spaces where we get
burned out or we start to haveimposter syndrome because we
haven't been present in themoment and seeing what everybody
else sees.
We don't see that because we'reall already onto the next thing
.
Chantée Christian (15:20):
Yes, y'all can't see me, but my head is
about to roll off my neckbecause I can't stop shaking it.
Right, it's especially when wetalk about imposter syndrome,
when we talk about um, like it'ssomething about.
When I think about generationsright and I even take the
(15:41):
generations out when you thinkabout decades of life, right
when you were in your 20s, yourfocus most of the time is
getting the house, the marriage,the kids, the dog, the whatever
.
Bars right, right.
(16:03):
Then in your 30s you'reclimbing this ladder because you
got to get there, got to getthere, got to get there.
And in your 40s you're kind ofassessing do I still want to get
there if I haven't gotten therealready?
And if not, what else am Igoing to do?
Because I don't know that I'min love with that anymore, right
(16:23):
.
And then in your 50s you'relike OK, got a few more years
before I can officially retire.
I really don't want to have myfoot on the gas like that
anymore.
So what does it look like to beable to be Right?
And in your 60s it's like well,let me recalculate.
Can I retire?
Am I ready to retire?
What do I do when I retire?
(16:51):
And I'm speaking about thisgenerally, based off of the
people that have been in myspaces and myself, and what I
find is that around 28, 29,around 48, 49, around around 58,
(17:12):
59, there's this moment of holyshit.
What have I done?
It's nothing that I hadimagined.
And if I could go back right,and not to say that there are
(17:33):
regrets, right, just if I couldgo back I would probably have
paid a little bit more attention, I would have said something
different, I probably wouldn'thave took that job and that pay
cut.
You know all of the things thatnow have made us who we are and
(17:55):
are part of our story.
However, we weren't present inthose time frames because we
were chasing something else.
Nikki Walker (18:05):
Oh my gosh so true .
Chantée Christian (18:07):
Right.
That chase lends us to now isnot only is it delayed
gratification, it is instantsorrow.
Come on with it Right, and wedon't even know why, sometimes A
lot of times.
A lot of times, yeah, which iswhy community is so important,
(18:32):
because when you're aroundpeople who are in these
different phases, they can helpyou identify what's going on
with you.
Nikki Walker (18:44):
I talk about people and community as your
board of directors right, andwhen you have a large community
or several communities, you getto pull expertise from different
perspectives.
Right, and as the CEO of yourown life, you get to build your
board of directors, and thosepeople should be people who
(19:07):
offer you a mirror, who offeryou stern and loving correction
where necessary.
Those should be people who seethe real you and let you know
when you slip in.
Right.
Those, those are the kinds ofpeople who you know are running
the company that is you arehelping you to direct the
company.
That is you and it's soimportant.
(19:28):
That is you are helping you todirect the company.
That is you and it's soimportant.
This life is not meant to bedone alone, and and and being
unmarried doesn't make you aloneright.
It is about partnerships andand relationships past, you know
, romantic.
This is real life.
This is, this is adulting 101,like for real yeah, and I mean
(19:52):
it just.
Chantée Christian (19:52):
And that whole idea of being single and
alone blows me, because I knowso many people who are married
and or with longtime partnerswho also feel alone, and so it's
not about having a physicalbody in a space with you that
(20:16):
makes you on alone.
And so often I work with a lotof execs and people that have
just all different spans of life.
Execs and people that have justall different spans of life.
Usually the number one thingthat is something that we work
(20:37):
on is that they don't know whothey are, and I mean like who
you are right, so like whatmakes you happy, are right, so
like what makes you happy, likewhat actually brings you joy,
what keeps that flame of joyburning, even in the midst of
the chaos.
But who are you outside ofbeing a mom?
(21:01):
Who are you outside of being adad?
Who are you outside of being apartner?
Who are you outside of thetitle that you have at your job?
Like who are you?
Nikki Walker (21:18):
it takes a lot of work to answer that question.
It takes a lot of work toanswer that question and it's
hard work, like this is, it'snot.
It's not amusement park timelike it is.
Dig in, sit down, figure it out, talk to yourself.
You know, take the bandaid off.
It's so much to get into, it'sfrightening, quite frankly, and
(21:40):
it takes courage and you know alot, of, a lot of us have to
work our way up to that of a lotof us have to work our way up
to that.
Chantée Christian (21:48):
Listen.
I tell anyone who will listen,if you have a therapist or coach
, that don't have a therapistand or a coach you need to go
get you a new therapist and orcoach, because we are all works
in progress, right, and whichmeans like we've been at some
stage of where you're, at whichmeans like we've been at some
(22:10):
stage of where you're at Right,which is why we're helpful.
Right.
Like there was a time where Ithought that I knew who I was.
I told you I know exactly who Iam, ow Right.
And then when I heard it andwhen I saw it, it wasn't who I
was.
It was who people wanted me tobe, or who people thought.
Nikki Walker (22:33):
I was yeah.
Chantée Christian (22:34):
Who people have projected so much of all of
the things.
And so when I started peelingback the onion with some support
because, like you said, it doestake courage, it takes a level
of vulnerability with yourselfthat is unmatched.
Nikki Walker (22:54):
Yes, yes.
Chantée Christian (22:56):
Because you got to look in the mirror and
say, well, who are you Like?
What makes me laugh?
I can tell you all the thingsthat don't make me laugh Right,
because we can default to thatreally easy.
Things that don't make me laughright, because we can default
to that really easy.
But we hardly ever again in thepresent are able to say what we
(23:17):
enjoy, who we are right, and Isay that in so many different
things, in so many differentspaces.
But, like, if you can't tell mewho you are, then you can't
tell me the communities that youneed to be in.
You can't tell me who you are,then you can't tell me the
communities that you need to bein.
You can't tell me the type ofpartner that you want.
You can't tell me the careerthat you aspire to have.
(23:37):
You can't actually tell me yourgifts and believe them, because
you don't even know you ownthem Right.
Nikki Walker (23:45):
That's a sad, sad, sad place to be in.
Chantée Christian (23:48):
And yet so many of us have either been
there unconsciously and or arestill there very unconsciously.
Nikki Walker (23:56):
Or sometimes very consciously, and that's when I
have a problem cloud over ourhead because we would rather the
comfort of what we know thanthe discomfort of getting to the
next level of self.
Chantée Christian (24:17):
Oh, because it's easier to stay in comfort.
Nikki Walker (24:20):
Absolutely.
It's the devil, you know.
Chantée Christian (24:23):
Right, and it's something about that,
though, that just grinds mygears, because when I know
better, right.
What's the saying?
When you know better, you dobetter, you do better.
And so when I choose not to,then I also don't understand why
I keep getting opportunitiespresented to me to work on that
(24:46):
thing, and it's because you'reignoring it.
It has been brought to lightand you're ignoring it.
Nikki Walker (24:53):
I love how you put that opportunities for me to
work on that thing, becausethat's what it's going to be.
You're going to call it chaos.
You're going to say it's stress.
You're going to say why arethese things happening to me?
Instead of saying, oh look, nowI have an opportunity to work
on that thing.
Get it over with, do the workand move on, because if you
(25:13):
don't, it's going to circle backaround and it's bringing
friends.
Chantée Christian (25:17):
Listen, it's bringing some big time friends.
Yes, big time friends, big timefriends, friends you would
rather not have in your circle.
Nikki Walker (25:27):
You don't want to meet them in an alley.
You don't want to meet them ina dark alley.
Chantée Christian (25:33):
And you know it's funny.
I was listening to Sarah JakesRoberts this morning and she
said something that reminded meof the last few years.
For me.
She said you know, when we gointo prayer and asking God to
(25:57):
continue to and this is a prayerI'm paraphrasing.
So don't, don't, y'all don'tquote me, but essentially she
was saying when we go to God inprayer and we say, you know,
help us be in the image of you,help us be and embody the image
(26:17):
of Jesus, and what does thatlook like and feel like?
And I thought to myself I'vegot to stop praying that and I'm
going to Y'all can't see herand I'm going to Y'all can't see
her.
Well, and I say that because mychapter was originally going to
(26:40):
be my 40 was Jesus is 33.
Nikki Walker (26:47):
Ooh.
Chantée Christian (26:56):
And I got a lot of pushback on it and I said
okay, and I got the pushbackbecause they wanted me to share
the story different, and whichwas how we got to what's in
awareness.
Put me on now, and my 40 wasJesus is 33.
I went through more than Icould ever have thought and or
imagined and I kept saying Idon't understand.
(27:19):
Like God, did you forget that Iwas here?
Like hello, do you see me?
Like hello, do you see me?
And it was in some of thosevery self-inflicting moments
(27:44):
where I was like, oh, this isfor me to practice my empathy,
this is for me to practicecompassion.
Nikki Walker (27:50):
Oh, all right out here casting spells with your
prayers and scared when it comeback to you.
Oh do it, oh do it oof right.
Chantée Christian (28:04):
this is me learning how to love
unconditionally.
This is me sticking througheven though I don't know right,
like it was in those times whereI was like, if so, there's this
um, I can't think of thescripture at the moment, but the
(28:27):
essentially the story is that,you know, jesus is upset with
the disciples because they fellasleep and for the longest time
I was like they, so lazy.
Them jokers was lazy, and whenI dug deeper into the scripture
and done some research, thetruth of the matter is they were
(28:47):
saddened with grief and theywere depressed because they
heard Jesus' cry and his senseof grief and angst and it
worried them and the only thingthat they could do was sleep.
And not only did it shift myjudgment, but it shifted my own
(29:15):
perspective of my own situation.
Nikki Walker (29:18):
Right.
Chantée Christian (29:19):
Like if Jesus knew what was going to happen
and was crying out to God like,hey, can you reconsider, girl?
Who am I to not sit on this bedand cry my heart out when I
don't know?
But if he knew and still hadpain and angst, so that the
(29:45):
people around him had pain andangst, then who am I not to?
And it was a lesson inreleasing my judgment.
Yes, right, like.
There were so many things for methat were happening where I was
(30:06):
like this, this one, this, thisis what being like Jesus is.
I want a refund.
I don't want to be like Jesus,I want to be like Peter.
But I say that to say a lot oftimes we don't realize what
(30:31):
we're saying and what we'reasking for and what it looks
like when we get it back.
Right, like, I would have alwaystold you I am a God God fearing
woman, cause I am.
I would have told you I'm, I'm,I'm not um, I'm not actually,
(30:52):
I'm made in his image, but I'm awhole lot more like Peter than
not.
Okay, and in those moments Iunderstand now that what I was
going through was for me and itwas for the future impact that
(31:15):
I'll be able to have Right,right, right, um, which I think
is powerful from the perspectiveof none of this is what I asked
for, right?
Well, I mean, god got a senseof humor, you know, yeah,
(31:38):
sometimes he's not that funny,but to me, but, I'm living in my
gifts, I'm living in my truthand I have a hell of a community
that supports me, and I thinkthat my community has shifted as
(32:11):
I have shifted.
Nikki Walker (32:13):
Yes, can we talk about that real quick?
Chantée Christian (32:16):
Go ahead.
Nikki Walker (32:16):
Yes, the community .
The community has shifted asyou have shifted.
I am experiencing that rightnow and the journey is new, but
it is felt and it's hard.
It is very difficult toseparate yourself from others
(32:48):
when you have been connected tothem for so long.
But the truth of the matter is,as you know, all of the people
say everybody can't goeverywhere, everything is not
for everybody, and the higheryou get, the less chance of
being able to breathe there is,and everybody don't have iron
(33:12):
lungs like me, so some folks gotto stay at, you know, base camp
while I trek up to the peak ofthe mountain.
And while in theory that shouldbe okay, we are real life human
beings with feelings andemotions and ideas and
(33:34):
perceptions, and so it gets alittle messy when you come to
the point where you have to makea stance that is best for you,
best for your business, best foryour future.
You have to do those things,though, like we have to do hard
things, and you know everyapproach might not be right and
(33:57):
there are going to be somemistakes and hiccups in these
moments where you are decidedlydismissing yourself from places
and spaces that no longer serveyou and spaces that no longer
serve you.
You have to make the harddecision and I'm saying it like
(34:17):
this because somebody had to sayit like this to me for me to
understand it, because I mulledover it and I cried over it and
I worried about it.
But, just like all other things, I give it to God and he will
give me the wisdom to approachthe situations in a way that
(34:37):
people will walk away with someunderstanding.
But understand, dear lady, dearsir, understand that if it is
your intention to keep on moving, you're going to have to leave
some folks at base camp.
Chantée Christian (34:53):
That's it no.
I love this because we buildrelationships, we build rapport
and, like you said, we're humansand so we have emotions
attached and memories attachedto the people, to the situation,
(35:14):
to the thing, and that's okay.
Yes, that is okay.
What's also okay is to createboundaries that honor you, right
?
And one of my clients saidearlier this week actually,
which I was crawling in my skin,but she said well, I want to
create boundaries that peoplewill be okay with and respect.
(35:36):
And I said, no, no, sweet pea,that's never going to happen.
There will always be someone whodoes not appreciate the
boundary that you created.
The only way that makes it agreat boundary is if you hold it
true that you created.
The only way that makes it agreat boundary is if you hold it
true.
So you have to createboundaries that you are able to
say and are comfortable with,because you're going to have to
(35:58):
stand 10 toes down on them andyou're going to have to yourself
, right, Because people willpush, people will tap, and it's
only because that's what theywere used to, because this new
boundary has created protection,right, and so how do you
continually protect yourself andgrow, right?
(36:19):
It's almost like um, perfectexample, flowers um, I can't
think of the one that has, likethe elephant ears, almost um I
can't think of the name of it,but you have to cut it.
And it grows back, but you haveto cut it in order to grow back
in order for it to grow back.
(36:40):
It's the same thing withfriends.
It's the same thing withcommunity.
It's the same thing withletting people go.
Sometimes you have to cutpeople and they may or may not
come back.
Nikki Walker (36:51):
Yes, and that is the.
That is the thing.
The thing is right.
We're in people's lives forreasons and or seasons, right,
and so perhaps this is just theseason where it is time for me
to do something different andyou don't fit into that
schematic.
But that doesn't mean that nextseason you don't get to come
(37:12):
back and make a guest appearance.
That doesn't mean that youdon't become a season regular
two years down the line.
We don't know what is going tohappen next.
We know that in this seasonthere are cast members that need
to take a break.
We need to retire them from theshow.
That does not mean they don'tcome back, and I think, when
(37:34):
we're explaining our journey topeople who we have outgrown
right, I think that that is animportant point to make.
It doesn't because, as you saidearlier, like these memories
are real.
These experiences that we havehad are real.
These emotions that we haveshared together they are real.
They don't go anywhere.
(37:55):
They don't go anywhere.
They don't?
Chantée Christian (37:58):
They don't.
You know, it's interesting,it's so funny.
As you were talking, I was likewe're both Aquarius and I am
really good at not talking topeople about why they're not in
my life anymore.
So this, which is alsosomething I'm working on, right.
Nikki Walker (38:14):
I said it's an early, hard journey, did not?
Early and hard honey.
Early because I just assumedstop speaking to you.
I just assumed don't pick upthe phone no more.
But that was that's old Nikki,right, that's, that's uninvolved
Nikki.
You know, this is, this isNikki who not only understands
that I deserve to be able tospeak my truth, but other people
(38:39):
you know I'm, I.
I have given up myself to otherpeople so much so that walking
away without saying what hashappened, it's just rude.
It's rude.
It doesn't honor therelationship.
It doesn't honor the time andenergy spent on and with it
doesn't, and so you know.
So for me, it's important thatI make it plain.
(39:03):
I'm clear about everything elsewith.
Everybody Should be clear aboutwhere I stand.
Chantée Christian (39:08):
No, I think that's really important,
especially for people whotypically have an avoidant
characteristic when it comes towhat they perceive as conflict
right.
And having a conversation withsomeone that may be
uncomfortable does notautomatically mean conflict.
Like we got to stop watchingreality TV, thinking that if we
(39:31):
tell somebody you know what Ilove you, I'm going to pull back
right now, that all of a suddenwe got to go and have a whole
commotion.
No, no, and if that's the case,then that's the answer.
Nikki Walker (39:44):
That's the answer.
That's the absolute answer, andthe whole thing was was a lie
to begin with, and so chalk itup to the cost of doing business
right and move on.
Now you know everything youever needed to know.
Chantée Christian (39:58):
Yeah, I mean, I could go on a whole diatribe
about how you think that you'rein certain relationships and
certain spaces with people andthen they show you who they are
and you decide to stay.
Well, that's the same thing aswith a romantic relationship
when you stay somewhere too long, baby, you're gonna want to get
burnt, not the person.
yes, right, and that's okayright and and it's okay to enter
(40:24):
a community, I feel like you'renot supposed to be there and to
leave it and to come back to itLike it's always okay, and I
think that that's one of thebiggest things.
Like people, by nature, right,we don't like rejection, right,
but we'll reject without thought, we will reject without purpose
(40:48):
and without intent, and so whenwe're talking about having
these uncomfortableconversations, it is being
intentional and purposeful aboutthe relationship.
Right, and Keith Lee says itall the time, I'm not the target
(41:09):
audience for this Right, and Imay not the target audience for
this Right and I may not be yourtarget audience anymore, and
that's okay.
Nikki Walker (41:19):
Exactly.
Chantée Christian (41:20):
That's okay, this was good.
Nikki Walker (41:24):
Yeah right, we should do this every week.
Chantée Christian (41:28):
You tripping you know I'm lying.
We're going gonna try to makesure that that come out.
So I'm curious.
We've talked about quite a fewthings.
Um, what would you want to makesure that you leave the people
with?
Nikki Walker (41:49):
um, what do I want to leave the people with?
Yeah, we kind of covered amyriad of things, but I think
the thing and I'll tie it intoawareness put me on the thing
that I want to leave people withthat I think this discussion
has kind of embodied is the timeis now for you to become aware
of who you are and what you needin order to thrive and in order
(42:13):
to succeed in a way thatdoesn't hurt.
You have to take the time toexamine you.
That's what I want to leavepeople with.
You know it's Suicide AwarenessMonth.
I don't know when this is goingto air, but right now in
September, it's SuicideAwareness Month and I'm speaking
from the perspective of a Blackwoman, and Black people in
(42:36):
these Americas have a verydifficult time with mental
health awareness and you know,and just taking care of that and
it's ingrained in us generationafter generation, care of that
and it's ingrained in usgeneration after generation.
We can talk about it all theway back to how we had to
(42:57):
protect ourselves in theenslaved days, and we can really
follow the path that makes thissuch a taboo.
We can follow the line of whythis is taboo, but it's a new
day.
It's a new day and we now areresponsible for ourselves
because we have the information.
(43:17):
We know what mental healthdisparities look like.
We know that we are sufferingfrom mental health ailments.
We can identify them in ourfriends and our family and
refuse to look at ourselves.
So I say to everybody pleasetake a look at yourself and see
(43:38):
what it is that you need,because nobody else is going to
give you what you need.
Chantée Christian (43:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's good, yeah,
that's good.
I'm glad you like it.
Nikki Walker (43:58):
That's good.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm glad you like it.
That's good.
So tell the people how can theyfind you?
Yes, yes, you can find me onInstagram, my favorite place to
play at Nikki Walker PR, andthat's N-I-K-K-I Walker PR, or
my brand page, which is n-w-p-rdot consulting, and of course,
I'm nikki walker on linkedin,which is my other favorite adult
(44:20):
social media platform where wecan follow and partner and learn
and do all of the things.
So yeah, I'm out there in theworld, y'allall.
Chantée Christian (44:29):
Yeah, she is.
Her content is dope.
So make sure you follow andI'll make sure that your
information is inside thepodcast notes so they can also
capture it there.
I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being a part ofthis journey with me.
Thank you for trusting theprocess.
(44:50):
Thank you for, even thoughthere were times where you had
doubt, that you set it aside towalk in your truth so that
others could benefit from whatyou had to share.
So I just want to say thank you.
Nikki Walker (45:09):
My absolute pleasure and thank you.
Nothing is by mistake and uscrossing paths is no different.
So thank you for being a partof my community and just being a
bright light in all thecommunities where you exist.
Thank you.
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