August 28, 2024 • 36 mins
Get in touch! Drop Benji and Brad a text message by clicking on this link.
What happens when a bout of the sniffles meets an overdose of euphoria? Join us as we kick off this wild ride, where Benji's under-the-weather vibes clash hilariously with Brad's uncontainable energy. We reminisce about last night’s escapades, introduce a suspiciously nostalgic drink, and somehow manage to preview our plans for a deeper, more introspective chat later on. Expect lots of laughs as we navigate this rollercoaster of moods and memories.Fast-forward to the minefield of modern dating. Post-lockdown, dating has its quirks and we have plenty to share from our personal lives. From the art of cutting through prolonged texting to the perils of engaging with perpetually "busy" people, we spill all the tea. Humor and genuine connection are key, but there’s more: hear why some people are way more charming via text than IRL. And yes, we highlight the necessity of humor and rapport in making those connections truly meaningful.
Lastly, we dive into the labyrinth of gay dating in your mid-30s. This isn’t your typical dating advice session—expect real talk about the extra mental bandwidth dating requires, and the different pressures we face. With personal anecdotes and a humorous tale involving a "dog daddy" miscommunication, we paint a candid picture of our unique dating landscape. Plus, we tackle relationship dynamics, open relationships, and the Grindr effect, offering both insight and plenty of laughs.
Get to know us more personally!
Instagram
www.instagram.com/biggaypodcast
Email
hello@mybiggaypodcast.com
Website
www.MyBigGayPodcast.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh God, oh God, oh God, benji, this energy is not
the energy I want from you rightnow, because we're here in the
studio about to record our nextepisode You're giving me.
I don't want to be here and Ihate Brad.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Oh my God, it's only taken like six years and finally
you can read how I'm feeling.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Come on, pack yourself up, we're going to go
for it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
We're going for it.
All right, here we go.
Hello and welcome to my big.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Stop the music.
That is not what we want.
That's not what I want.
I feel very energetic today.
You're a lot today I know I'vewoke up and I've got very
hyperactive energy, but can you?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
turn off Grindr.
Sorry, that's reallyunprofessional.
I wasn't Grindr actually.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Are we?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
ready, so ready, hit the track, go.
I'll say when I'm ready.
Thank you, I'm the boss today.
(01:04):
Me Go, me.
Hello, and welcome to my BigGay Podcast with me.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Benji and me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves
and lols of living in London,Two gays one city.
What could possibly go wrong?
Do you ever wake?
Up and just feel like euphoria.
That is euphoria, literally.
That is what I've woken up andfelt like today yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
That means you've bought a decent bag last night
that is so not true.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
You're gonna give everyone the wrong impression I
just have these days sometimes Ijust wake up, I just feel very
happy, like almost like I don'tknow what to do myself, got so
much energy and happiness togive to the world oh wow, you
really are.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
You're on it.
I must say you have called meabout eight times today.
When you call me you say onething.
Then you know, anyway, I haveto go, I have to go, and then
you just name something likemake lunch.
I'm like you're aware youcalled me right but you know,
I'm just like so happy.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I just want to like speak to people all day long.
I've got to give out happinessand you are the very opposite
today.
We are yin and yang right here.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I know I'm really not very well today podcasters.
I really feel down in the dumps.
Not like a depression way.
I basically feel like I've beendrop-caked in the stomach.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Is it because we went out last night and you can't
handle one night out with methese days?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
No, because I have actually felt ill since last
Saturday.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
When I hosted the party.
So again, you just can't handlethe social life with Brad.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I just think you've got dodgy cooking Personally.
Anyway, right, what are wetalking today about, Brad?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, first of all, I actually made us a drink.
It's a brand new drink.
I've never even tried thisbefore in my life.
Yeah, I can see it.
Yeah, it's a rum.
Now, usually I'm not really arum person, but it's a passion
fruit rum and I love passionfruit and I saw it.
It was on offer today in Tesco.
So I was like, do you know what?
I'm grabbing this for thepodcast, and what if you mixed
it with apple juice?
No, it's passion fruit rum withlemonade with lemonade.
yeah, I know, but it is like ayellowy colour, okay the more
(03:02):
you say passion doesn't meanit's any more dark colour.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
This looks like a cup of coffee.
It's that dark.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Shall we try it.
I actually have never triedthis before.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's a new drink.
What's it in a mug?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I don't know.
Anyway, cheers, cheers.
Do you know what?
That doesn't even tastealcoholic.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
That is so sweet, so sweet.
It's like cow pole, it's likemedicine.
Give it to me actually, jokesaside, just for a second I'll be
shady cow pole.
Do you remember what it used totaste like when it was like
crunchy crunchy?
It may not have meant to becrunchy actually, maybe, just
like my parents never put thelid back on the bottle
correctly- crusty cow pole, it'slike crystallised with the
sugar.
Yeah, because the sugar was so,and cowpoll was delicious, so
(03:42):
good.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
It's like strawberry.
I don't know.
It's like a strawberry liqueur.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, I kind of want some cowpoll.
Is that bad?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Are you addicted to cowpoll?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I mean, I haven't had it since I was about, you know,
last month, but I no, seriously, I haven't had it in ages, but
I remember it being absolutelydelicious.
Yeah, you love a finger.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Not from a dead man, though.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
It's the only man you'll get Anyway.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I'm going to have another little sip whilst we
look over our notes to see whatwe're going to talk about,
because we've got a few thingson the agenda today.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Oh, my goodness, put your mouth around that drink and
stop talking.
I'm not having another sip ofthis witchly brew, oh nice.
Yeah, we've got loads of thingsto talk about today and we're
actually having quite a personalchat, I think, today.
I mean, we normally chat quitepersonally, but today I feel
like it's very personal.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Yeah, well, the thing is it's been a little while
since we've done podcasts, sowe've got loads to catch up on
this year, and the first thingthat I want to talk to you about
is your dating life, because Iknow that you're quite a serial
dater at times.
How's it all going?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Wow, straight in the deep end, I'm single, so thank
you so much for bringing that upfor everyone's attention.
I yeah, it's a difficult oneout there.
You know, I think dating haschanged so much since lockdown.
Really, yeah, I think peoplehave almost forgotten how to
talk to each other and I justreally struggled to connect.
However, I mean I say this Iwent on a date two nights ago
(05:00):
and it was like ideal, settingmatched with them on Tinder in
the morning chat, chat, chat,chat, chat.
Went on a date the same evening.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Great In there, no wasting time.
You might as well get to thepoint, because if you're going
to go on a date, there's nopoint chatting for like two,
three, four weeks.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
No, I totally agree with you and I cannot stand,
like this other guy that I'mtalking to.
Really hope he doesn't listento the podcast.
He is training to be abarrister nice good job, money
really cute like nice guychatting around.
I was like, so anyway, whenshould we go for a drink?
And he was like, oh well, I'mactually got my exams coming up,
so I'm going to be justrevising for the next six weeks,
(05:35):
right?
And I was like, why are you onthe dating app?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
yeah, why are you on it?
You want me to chat to you forsix weeks?
Yeah, and also it's probablynot going to be consistent chat
if he's studying, right?
No?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And how can you redevelop a relationship just
from texting?
So I was like okay, yeah, noworries Trying to chat, chat,
chat, chat chat.
And then I was like listen, Idon't really like chatting on
this app.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I actually don't have my notifications on for Tinder
and I was just like what, slow,slow.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Hard work.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, it shouldn't be that slow or that much hard
work just to get a first date inthe diary.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, like, why can't I have your number?
What do you think I'm going todo with it?
Put it up in like phone boxes,like call for a good time.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Is that why I keep getting all these missed calls
on my phone?
Is that what you've?
Different time also, lol.
No one calls you.
Your phone died like four daysago.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
You hadn't even realized it ran out of battery.
But yeah.
So dating just a bit of atricky one, and this date that I
had, it was really lovely, theguy was so, so nice.
It just it didn't work out.
But at least we figured thatout in the first right day.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
So you didn't waste all that time yeah, you didn't
waste the weeks and weeks ofchat, chat, chat, to then have
the same outcome.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, because it does take a lot of brain power to
talk to multiple people at onceand don't be at home like
reading me like oh, benji, youshouldn't be like talking to
multiple people.
But sorry, if you're on adating app.
It's kind thing when I swipe,where I count down, I go I'm
(07:09):
gonna give myself like 10 swipesor like I'm gonna give myself
20 swipes and I will swipe thatmany times and then I'll put my
phone down, but I could thenmatch with like four people of
like 10.
He wishes um and then you've gotthose four people to talk to.
So straight away you're talkingto four people, do you know,
what I mean, and the next dayyou might match with some more
it's just yeah, it's a vicious,it's a vicious game, it's a
vicious game, it's a viciousgame.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I had that once where I matched with someone that
same morning chat.
Chat was great and we were bothfree that evening.
I was like let's just do it,let's just go for it, there's no
point hanging around.
And it didn't work out and thatwas great.
I'm so glad I didn't spendweeks of groundwork to find that
we just weren't a match onebecause on the texting hilarious
banter, 10 out of 10 top formjokes, jokes, another joke flips
(07:47):
, kicks, all of that right whenwe meet in person.
Church mouse, oh quiet, nobanter.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I feel like you've heard this a lot where they give
all the bants on the text.
But this is what I mean bycovid.
I think lots of people learn howto talk in texting and maybe
they've like because they'retalking to more people remotely,
they've like picked up likefunny one-liners and like
comebacks, right, yeah, stufflike that and in person they
just don't have the bands andlisten for me I I know we always
(08:14):
joke about how I have a typeI'm not going to go down that
route just a second.
But the one thing that for methat trumps any sort of looks
job, anything like that is yoursense of yes.
If you can make me laugh, Idon't really care about much
else.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
You're like jelly in the hands.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Literally.
I am quite difficult to makelaugh properly and I have been
on dates where I've literallybeen like side stitches Great
Pain yeah, is that why you'vegot a bad stomach today?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Because you went out with me last night.
That's why you were laughingnon-stop.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's what it was that was not what it was.
Yeah, so if you have a sense ofhumour, that is, I mean, if
you're at home and you have agreat sense of humour and you're
single send me some jokes.
No, it's not even just aboutjokes, it's just that sort of
like bounce back rapport and Ifind it so when you start a date
and you're chatting aboutsomething and there's a little
joke and then, like an hourlater into the date, they
reference that joke that youwould have like an hour ago.
(09:07):
Nice, do you?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
know what I mean by that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I'm like, oh, that's so sexy.
You've listened and you've like,reused this joke, but it's
still just as funny yeah, marryme, marry me bend over and marry
had somebody else I was datingand I thought it was going well
and then they turned around andI think this is such like a gut
punch.
(09:28):
Maybe that's why my stomach'ssore.
No, I feel like there's suchlike a kick in the teeth.
We were chatting.
He was then busy for the nexttwo weeks, which I said was fine
, and I was like but just letyou know, I'm then away, like
I've got like back-to-back gigsout of London in London, like
just very busy.
He was like oh, I see, I don'treally know what to do with that
.
I was like don't tell me thatyou're gonna end this just
(09:48):
because of that.
And he was like, yeah, I thinkI'm going to.
I'm just like really needy and,like I've said before living my
bright summer and I just think Ineed someone who's just there
for me when I want them.
I was like are you jokingending this because I work too
much?
And I invited him on the jobs.
I was like come with me, hop inthe car, don't worry about it,
hop on the train, don't worryabout it.
No, boring Snore, snore lags.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Okay, so now I've got a question for you.
This might be a bit deep, and Iknow you like it deep, so we're
going straight in there.
Do you think you've got Alittle bit?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I don't know, because I would argue that I've had
more relationships than you have.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, but I don't know if that's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Well, yeah, they were committed relationships, didn't
she?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
But do you have like shorter ones?
Because you get so far into arelationship and you're like, oh
God, it's getting a bit tooheavy, a bit too deep.
I'm going to back out.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I would definitely say that my last three or four
like serious relationships.
When I say serious, I mean likethey lasted more than like a
year let's say they all endedquite emotionally.
Yeah, they're quite, I think,damaging for me uh-huh and I and
I know that that took a longtime for me to try and sort of
process and get over the lastone being, as we went into
lockdown right, I actually endedit, regretted it, but I ended
(11:02):
like two weeks before lockdownhit and then just had like just
me by myself to try and processit poorly, thinking it was a bad
decision.
I do think that.
I do think breakups can reallydamage you as you go into your
next one now I'm not saying it'sa commitment thing.
I think if I find the rightperson, I'm more than happy to
commit myself to a relationshipand make sure I make time for
(11:23):
them etc and put them first.
But I do think every time I domeet someone I'm like, oh, this
is actually going quite well, Ido like self-sabotage myself and
I can get the ick so quickly,that's yeah, I noticed that with
you you're going a few dates'tdo this thing.
He had hairy nostrils and thatgave me the ick.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It just gave me the ick no, but I feel like this is
a regular thing with you, whichis why I asked do you have
commitment issues?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
because then, because you do, you're looking for the
icks to be like oh yeah, it'snot for have a relationship.
I'm a very romantic person.
I feel like I'm really tryingto sell myself to you.
Just to give you some reference, listeners, we're in the studio
but we like to turn all thelights off.
Apart from a couple of lamps,there's absolute mood lighting
it is, yeah, it's actually quitenice.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I've got my train of thought now so you said you're
quite romantic as a person ohyes, love making people feel
very special and like wanted andloved, I love doing that, I
love, I love giving.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And that's not.
That's not a top reference.
She is trying to be likeemotional just for a second,
yeah I, I, I want to be able togive all those things, so I
don't think my subconscious issabotaging me not to have that
okay but I also know that it'sonly been the last sort of six
months where I've really beenlike, no, I think I'm ready for
a relationship.
I will struggle with mytimetable, but I'm ready to
(12:47):
start looking at least.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Great, I love that for you Now I know why you made
me a strong drink.
Get it down.
You love Get it down you,because you said the other day
something about.
I do miss, when I was in my 20s, the attention that you were
getting.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Podcasts me and Brad right.
We are incredibly close asfriends.
Obviously we do the podcast,but we're very close and we do
share everything with each other.
All these things that he'sbringing up, I thought were like
one-to-one over a lovely bottleof rosé, pouring my heart out.
And he has been making bulletpoints in his notepad.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Great, I'll drag Benji about that on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Lovely, and I was like great Content, content,
content.
Yeah, listen, I think this issomething that I need to get a
different drink, because thisone's made me feel quite sick.
So let's take a very shortbreak and we'll come straight
back.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I see you've got yourself another drink.
Are you telling me you don'tlike the dead man's finger?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It's not that I didn't like it, it's like it's
just it's too strong.
I would have liked one finger.
I feel like you've got like afist in here.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, I'm sorry they didn't bring a measuring
cylinder to the studio with metoday.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I just freepored.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Someone's never worked in a Well, you have to
all my mates, didn't I?
Oh my gosh, free pour that jobdid not last long.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No, I've changed my drink.
Thank you very much, I'm veryhappy.
So where were we on this whole?
Like, let's talk about Benji'smiserable dating life?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I know, I thought we'd open up that can of worms
this week.
Yeah, so you said when we wasout the other day there was
something about being in.
It's not quite the same.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah.
So I don't want this to comeacross wrong because I really
it's very difficult, withoutknowing me, to believe what I'm
about to say, but I really don'tfeel like this is me coming at
a very like egotistical point ofview.
But I was young, blonde, blueeyes, went to drama school.
I didn't eat anything for threeyears and when I graduated I
was very slim, the twink oftwinks, the high cheekbones, the
(14:42):
jawline yeah, I was, yeah, theepitome of a twink.
Uh-huh.
And I remember going out andlike clubbing, which I didn't
actually do that often, but if Idid, I could walk into a bar
and I'd feel so confident that Icould flirt with anyone and
nobody would reject me, uh-huh,literally, like I mean,
obviously it happened now andthen, but really rarely.
I never felt it being a problem.
(15:03):
I had such confidence, but notin like a nasty way.
I always was like just friendlyabout it, just very flirty,
friendly, got free drinks, justhaving a good time and having a
flirt, right.
I now find it so jarring andthat was part of my dating life
and now it is such a differentstory walking into a bar, not
only because I'm now, you know,a bar, not only because I'm now,
(15:24):
you know, 26.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
No, not only because I'm now older.
Another 10 years onto that andthen we're about the right age.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, washing mouth out, not only because I'm now
older, but obviously again, likeI said, like lockdown has
happened, I do really feel likethere has been a shift in this
world.
I think because of socialdistancing, people just don't
necessarily like just walking upto them and chatting.
I know you're not, like you'rereally good at this I.
I know I've been out with youbefore on the pool, like years
ago, and you're very good atjust chatting to absolutely
(15:50):
anybody and having a laugh yeah,that's true yeah maybe that's
part of it as well.
I feel like I've got very high Idon't know what the word is.
It's not high expectations,it's just.
I feel like I now have to putso much different headspace into
just making that like jump orleap into starting a
conversation with somebody thatthen I don't know what to do.
(16:13):
When they start talking back,I'm like, oh god, now what do I
do?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
help, help quick go into a dance.
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I mean it's um, yeah, it's a really weird one.
So I think anybody else is intheir sort of mid 30s who's
feeling this way, like it's.
I think it's normal.
So I keep telling myself it's areally normal thing to feel.
We were all young once and weall had a different level of
confidence, whether it's inwhatever it was, and it does
change as you get older.
Now a lot of people our age thestraight, sorry to bring them
(16:41):
up they are now married becausethey don't have to worry about
it.
Sure, I think the gay world westay single for longer.
Quite often we will be in arelationship, but maybe in an
open one.
Yeah, um, it's a very differentkettle of fish let's say and
it's quite a new thing.
So I think a lot of us are stilltrying to find our way with it
and how it works agreed.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, I totally hear you with the heterosexual
lifestyle.
It's more of a mapped out thing, isn't it?
Um, you know, you go touniversity, perhaps, or you
don't.
You you work and you meetsomeone and you have children,
you get married and you kind ofyour life is sort of like
destined for you, isn't it?
Yeah, in the gay world, there'sno set pathway, there's no
chapters, there's no.
Yeah, we just do our own thingand we're making it up as we go
(17:21):
along.
We don't have necessarily anygoals to hit in terms of
relationships like kids,marriage, et cetera, which also
are pressures for the heteroworld For sure.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I know a lot of my straight female friends really
feel the pressures of gettingolder if they haven't hit
marriage or children or acertain job or pay packet yeah.
You know, those are pressuresthat socially we, we put on.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Well, we don't, but is put upon people for sure.
One of my um straight friends,actually a girl, uh, she has
gone through this exact thing.
She's similar age to us, shereally wants kids and she hadn't
found the one to have kids withand was considering and even
looked at freezing her eggs andwas like, oh my goodness, I
don't know what I'm doing.
I thought by now I'd find theone.
I'd be married, we'll beplanning for our children and
I'm in my 30s and that hasn'thappened for me and you know I
(18:06):
felt really sorry for and I waslike god, I feel like I don't
have any of that pressure yeah,just do my own thing.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
No, we just have to worry about aging.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, right but obviously I do have gay friends
same age as us.
Well, I'm 26 plus 10 um Come onmath.
They've all said the same thing.
You're not the only person tohave said this.
To me, it's a different thingwhen you're kind of like the
fresh meat in town, right, andyou've got that twinkie
(18:34):
aesthetic and you're walking inand all the heads turning like
who is this newbie?
Someone like you has beenaround the block quite a few few
years Like oh, it's him again.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
But do you know what?
That is another really goodpoint.
I have been around the blockand I thought you were going to
make a joke about like bodycount etc.
Which obviously I'm not goingto go into right this second,
but I'm 525,600.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
You can't make that joke when I'm drinking.
I was choked.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'd love to watch you choke.
No, not talking about bodycount, but I do think, like,
again, I'm very romantic, etcetera, et cetera.
I've already said that.
And when you date someone onthe first date, I know in my
mind I'm either thinking thisguy's really cute, I'm going to
try and slip in.
If we're going to have anotherdate, I'll ask him if he wants
(19:20):
to go to the theatre or like outfor dinner, nice.
And then I'm like maybe I couldbuy them flowers.
No, I don't ever see that beingdone anymore.
It's that laughable thing in adate.
Or the other side of my brainis like take them home and shag
them.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Wow, literally one extreme to the other.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, but I think it's because of like the Grindr
world.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I don't know if that had a relationship.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I'm just double checking this is correct.
I've never been in a full onlong term committed relationship
where we slept together on thefirst date ha so I do have like
a rule now if I really like themand I have actually said that
to some people like I'm reallyenjoying chatting to you, I
really want to see you again, Ireally want to invite you back
to mine, but I don't think it'sa good idea, because I'd like to
see you again and I just wouldlike to leave it here, if that's
(20:02):
okay, and a lot of people areokay with it and some of them
think it's just a polite way ofbeing like I'm not interested.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But also I know that we'retalking about my experiences
with this, but I can't reallyask you yours, because I know
for you and I know we're notgoing to go into too much on the
podcast.
All the dating apps yes, you'vecome off all the other
facebooks gone because you, alittle bit like what I was just
(20:24):
saying, you've started datingsomeone and you're enjoying it
and you don't want any confusionfrom elsewhere and you just
want to focus on this one sortof few dates, correct?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
correct.
Yeah, it's going well.
And I was like you know, I justwant to put my all into this
and I have been in positions alittle bit younger where I felt
like I've kept my options open,even though I was kind of liking
someone.
That's going well.
We're still maybe dabbling inand out and I just think that's
not a good energy focus.
So I thought, yeah, I like thisguy, it's going well, I'm going
(20:53):
to delete all the apps and justfocus on this and just see
where this goes, put my energyinto this and see what happens.
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think it's a good move for you, because you're
really bad at multitasking.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Really bad yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah, really bad.
When we went on a date, weren'tyou talking to four Bens at the
same time?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Oh God, that's why I gave you the name Benji, because
I had to give them all aslightly different name so I
could remember which one waswhich.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
And hence the name, Benji.
It also calls me Fluffy, whichyou've never called me before.
Well, there's something Ididn't need to share.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Fluffy.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, I don't know, I think it's because when I was a
kid I woke up.
I have like really good hairyou do Like really thick, long,
luscious.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Why are you staring at me as you say those awful
words?
Like stabbing me in the heart.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I'm just watching the lamp light bounce off your
scalp.
Yeah, so when I wake up in themorning it would be like all
over the place, right, I thinkthat's where you call me Fluffy.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, that's where Benji was born.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yeah, was you had a Ben, a Benjamin, a Benny and a
Benji.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, a Ben a Benny was one.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And yeah, because I was like God, there's too many,
I have to like work out a namefor them all.
Well, your name in my phone isBrad, Don't Answer, Anyway.
Anyway, enough about uschatting about our miserable
well, my miserable dating lifeand your annoyingly going well
dating life.
Let's crack on with the podcastand talk about something a
little bit more cheery.
So podcast is this is too manydead man's fingers how many
(22:26):
fingers you had in you Two.
None.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
You said two.
I'll take your first answer.
Two, none.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Everyone loves a cheeky fingernail then.
So podcast is like I was saying.
We're now going to up theenergy and go to one of our new
favourite segments it's time forQueer Diary.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So this week's Queer Diary is as follows Hi, benji
and Brad, any kinks to recommendfor me and my boyfriend to try
the hotter the better.
Please Wink emoji Right,straight in there, straight in.
Any kinks to recommend?
Now, the thing is, I used tothink that I was fairly kinky as
(23:05):
a person until I met you, andyou are a whole different level,
so I feel very vanilla.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
You're very wool.
Soft scoop vanilla ice cream.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
So you're probably better to answer this one.
The only thing that I would addin is I bought a board game
many years ago for one of me andmy exes to play.
Is I bought?
A board game many years ago forone of me and my exes to play
and it's a bit like a Monopolygame.
You go around the board and youcollect like cards and tokens
and things and allows you to tryout various kinks.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You put each other in prison.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
There is like role play and stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
So you actually probably quite like the game.
Now this is like a good boardgame to kind of like test the
water and lots of differentthings, and obviously if you
really like something you canthen go further with it.
But what was quite good is youdon't know what the card's going
to say.
You don't know who's going towin or who's going to like get
the next card to promote thenext um thing that you do
together.
So it's quite a good game toplay for two people, exploring
(24:00):
maybe that sort of world a bit.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Two or more.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Two or more yeah.
But actually the board game iscalled Monogamy.
It's actually a straight boardgame.
It's meant to be for a man andwoman, but obviously you can
like re-jingle the kinks to makeit work for two boys.
Who bought you that?
A friend of mine who used towork for Ann Summers and used to
get loads of free stuff all thetime, so of free stuff all the
time.
So I've got loads of and someof free things in my room and we
will end that conversationthere.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Um okay, so this is so.
What do they want?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
they want kinks or fetishes uh, well, that's such a
good question.
What is the difference betweena kink or a fetish?
They've asked for kinks, butyeah, I thought they're the same
no, they are quite different.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Um, I believe a kink is like it's like a sexual
behavior that it's like outsideof normal sexual practices.
So it could be like BDSM, yeah,or like cuckolding I don't know
what that is.
That is when, like, you're in acouple and and then you like if
there was like me and myboyfriend.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
And then my boyfriend has to watch me have sex with
somebody else.
Oh, that's like cuckolding,right?
I believe that's right.
Or like exhibitionism, etcetera.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Whereas fetish, fetish is things like bondage.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Okay.
So I mean they kind of blurinto the same sort of world, or
like feet I think.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh yeah, like foot fetish a fetish is more about
like body parts, whereas kink islike the action, I believe okay
, I think that's more more rightagain.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
It's like foot fetish .
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's all about the feet, yeah yeah, yeah, and a
kink is like putt masks, sure Ibelieve.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I mean there's definitely a crossover, and I
don't think it really matters.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
But what were they asking for Good ones to try?
Yeah, oh, my goodness, whydon't you start with this one
Instead of dragging me as likethe slut of the podcast, why
don't you do it?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Well, as I said, that board game is quite a good one
to test and actually, with otherpartners along the way.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I that you've played with multiple sexual partners.
Which ones have you done thatyou didn't ever consider before,
but you have enjoyed Role play.
Okay, and what sort of roleplays did?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
you do Massage, so I was like they were coming into
my massage parlor.
I was the masseuse and then Iwas like leading on that massage
.
I did it in a Swedish voice,hello.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
No, you didn't, I didn't, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
episode of friends, no, so that was quite a fun one
to do.
And then things like toystrying different toys out, yeah
it's all still very vanilla.
What's like the most wild thingon the game oh, I don't know,
it's been a little while since Iplayed it, but I think it is
all like slightly more vanillaedge and it's like a little
taster of lots of differentthings and then obviously, if
(26:35):
you like something, you cancarry on and you do things where
you have to roll the dice andit gives you an action like kiss
, lick, suck etc.
And it gives you a body part, soit might be like earlobe penis
why did you look in my eyes whenyou said that?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
because we're having a conversation that made me feel
really uncomfortable.
I feel like I need to take abreak again Do you want another
finger?
Speaker 1 (26:58):
No, I do.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Look into my eyes.
Okay, yeah, fair enough.
Yeah, do you know what?
Maybe that's a really good oneto start.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I think this is for your newbie to like.
Want to try a bit of kink, butnot quite sure where to go.
That's like a good bit ofeverything.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yeah, and if you're going to do role play role play
that sort of like massage one Ican imagine it can't really.
It doesn't really tell youanything about the other person
that you maybe didn't want toknow.
Yeah, because I have beenrequested all sorts of role
plays, right, some of which I'vebeen like no, I don't feel
comfortable doing that.
Oh god, it's like what?
Yeah, I mean, there's been onesthat you would expect, like
teacher, student okay now thisone's really weird, right?
(27:33):
you know, like in the gay worlda lot of younger people might
refer to old people as, likedaddy.
Yeah right, but if they'resaying daddy, does that mean
that's their son?
Because I've had someone who wewere talking for a while like
we've met a few times, so I justwant to try this but they were
calling me daddy, which I didn'treally appreciate, because at
the time I think I was like 29,um, and then he was like you're
calling me daddy, but what do I?
What do you want?
To be called as Did?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
he say son.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
And then he said, son , and I'd never made that link,
and I was like, oh okay.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Yeah, I'm not sure about that.
Yeah, wasn't sure.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So I was like no, I'm just going to call you like
slum cut pig, I can't do that.
But just called them somethingelse, like boy or lad.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I don't know what it was, it sounds so A friend of
mine.
He used to role play with hispartner.
They used to role playstepbrothers.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Oh yeah, I'm all right with that.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Stepdad's out.
So you know what should we do?
Oh, we should take your pantsoff, what?
But you know that's so bad,like what if stepdad walks in?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Shut up and take your pants off.
Maybe I'm okay with that.
But then again, remember I had,I think I called twins.
Oh yes, I didn't realize I wastwins till afterwards, and then
I was really into it.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, but then I was too drunk and I ruined it,
ruined itself.
Oh, my goodness, yeah, and I doit to myself.
Um, what else could they?
Speaker 2 (28:48):
do well, you quite like outdoor sex, don't you?
I like risk yes yeah, which Iunderstand is going to put me in
a bit of a legal issue becauseit is illegal to be having sex
in public outdoors.
But I think part of the thrillthat I have is doing it in like
places that you might notconsider now I don't want to
make that like gross for otherpeople.
I don't want to.
I don't know.
I don't do in places whereother people will then be with,
(29:09):
like their families or like yeahI'm not.
I'm not.
I'm a bit more considerate thanthat.
However, yeah, like the idea ofpossibly getting caught.
I do quite like Sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
So that might be a good thing to try out.
If you want to, you know, testthe waters, mix it up in the
bedroom.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
And the best thing about like Public or outdoors Is
you can start off so Mild, somild.
Yeah, you can literally startoff with like Holding hands,
kissing, sitting on each other,fondling underclothes like it
doesn't have to be like full on,like penetrative on a park
bench sure have you ever goneout.
Oh, no, no question.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I think this is actually quite tame gone, let's
say, to a restaurant withfriends and you're kind of
getting with one of the guys andyou've both gone off to the
toilets together to have sex andthen come back to the
restaurant.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Not in a restaurant, but in like a pub club.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
yes, Many times, many times.
You've actually been there on afew of them.
Where's Benji gone?
Oh, he's in the toilet again.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
You were there and you and you and, annoyingly, one
of these guys that I was datingthat now said I'm too busy to
be a suitable bachelor.
He was into all that as well.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Great, perfect, great , perfect match for you.
Well, yeah, it was great.
Single tear rolling down thecheek.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I do think I don't really sell myself very well on
this podcast.
I feel like at the beginningSeason 1, Season 2 I was a bit
more like Well, you said I wasquite prudish.
You were a bit prudish A bitmore reserved, a bit more like
Teehee British, and now I'm justgiving it all.
We've opened you up.
Oh my, oh, my, oh, my Goodnessme, how many more innuendos do
(30:42):
you?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
have.
That's it.
I'm all done for the day.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
So just going back to the question, so fetishes and
kinks, yes.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
So we're saying maybe try like some games.
There's lots of different onesout there.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Games with toys as well.
Games with toys Anything fromfrom a little whip to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I had a feather tried on me once, not really into the
tickling thing.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I hate tickling it makes me panic, but I've tried
it.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I've done like paddle food food yes, oh, that game
includes food actually.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I've done like melted chocolate, squirty cream, all
the above same delicious, nice,not if they're diabetic, found
that out the bad way oh, yeah,not so good or lactose
intolerant yeah that reallywouldn't have worked out well,
yeah, yeah um, yes, and thenlike work your way up to maybe
things like outdoor, outdoor,yeah, I think, anything that
you've never tried before.
Do you know what?
(31:29):
The best thing to do is justtalk to your partner, yeah, and
be like listen when before wewere together.
If you watched like adultcontent, uh huh, what sort of
adult content did you like?
Speaker 1 (31:38):
watching.
Oh that's a good one.
Actually, watching porn with apartner can be quite hot there's
me being delicate adult content, there's you, yeah, porn well,
we all know what you're talkingabout yes, I know, but I was
just giving it slightly more.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I've gone back to season one too, benji, adult
content.
I hope we've answered yourquestion.
If you do have any morequestions, or if you've been
listening to this and you haveany questions about things that
we've done or you've done thatreally worked, share them with
us, because we'd love to shareit with everybody else that
listens to the podcast.
And maybe do you know what,brad, I think maybe I should
write you like a bowl.
Oh, actually, this is a reallygood idea.
(32:13):
Oh, go on, why don't whoeverwrote this in the two of you get
ten little bits of paper andwrite down things that you want
to try but maybe you're tooembarrassed to bring it up and
fold them up and put them in abowl and then, when it comes to
like a steamy evening, the twoof you, wine's open flowing, you
might say, the lights are low,you're lying there on this
lovely shag rug.
(32:34):
You just dip your hand in thatbowl and you pick one out and,
whatever it is, you've got tocommit to each other, because
you've put in 10 and he's put in10.
So whatever comes out, you haveto commit to it and give it a
go.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I like that.
That's a great, great game.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
We're going to call it Benji's Ball of Wonder,
benji's Open, open, open, openbowl.
Do you know what podcast we'regoing to workshop the name?
But I think go away and give ita listen.
If you think that's a good idea, try it with your partner,
unless you're single like I am.
And if you're single andlooking to mingle, hit me up in
(33:07):
the DMs.
Filthy little plug right there.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
And, speaking of DMs, you can always slide into ours
with your queer diaries.
Whatever you want us to talkabout, whatever you want to be
brought up on the podcast,nothing is off limits in this
little space.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
That's true, but podcast society that is all we
have time for.
On this week's episode of myBig Gay Podcast, if you've
enjoyed it, please go to ourInstagram and our TikTok and
give us a follow.
We are starting to do these newvideos called Out in London Do
you get the pun?
Do you get the pun becausewe're gay?
We're out out in.
London.
So if there's any places thatyou go and hang out with your
mates or where you've found itreally easy to socialise with
(33:40):
people, please go to the videoson our Instagram and comment
below and we will go andexperience them ourselves and
make a little reel and share itwith other people who are
visiting London but also maybehave moved to.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
London and want to media handle for you once again,
in case you don't know, it isat big gay podcast but, like I
said, that's all we have timefor on this week's episode.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Until next time, see you next wednesday talking about
fetishes, though.
I did put something on my umtinder profile so I said about
my name at my jobs and then Isaid dog daddy, uh-huh anyway,
match with somebody went on aday and he was.
He turned up with a pup mask inhis bag because he thought I
meant that I was like this pupdaddy and he was into pup play.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Oh, my goodness.
And there's little Ned, youractual dog, at the doorway.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
You're like here's the dog and here's the dog.
Now, luckily, I do actuallyhave a pup mask and I am not.
I'm not into it, so it workedout well, but my goodness, it
was a.
You know, if you have a dog athome, just really think about it
.
How are you going to word thatin your body?
Thank you.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, benji, this energy is not
the energy I want from you rightnow, because we're here in the
studio about to record our nextepisode You're giving me.
I don't want to be here and Ihate Brad.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Oh my God, it's only taken like six years and finally
you can read how I'm feeling.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Come on, pack yourself up, we're going to go
for it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
We're going for it.
All right, here we go.
Hello and welcome to my big.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Stop the music.
That is not what we want.
That's not what I want.
I feel very energetic today.
You're a lot today I know I'vewoke up and I've got very
hyperactive energy, but can you?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
turn off Grindr.
Sorry, that's reallyunprofessional.
I wasn't Grindr actually.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Are we?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
ready, so ready, hit the track, go.
I'll say when I'm ready.
Thank you, I'm the boss today.
(01:04):
Me Go, me.
Hello, and welcome to my BigGay Podcast with me.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Benji and me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves
and lols of living in London,Two gays one city.
What could possibly go wrong?
Do you ever wake?
Up and just feel like euphoria.
That is euphoria, literally.
That is what I've woken up andfelt like today yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
That means you've bought a decent bag last night
that is so not true.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
You're gonna give everyone the wrong impression I
just have these days sometimes Ijust wake up, I just feel very
happy, like almost like I don'tknow what to do myself, got so
much energy and happiness togive to the world oh wow, you
really are.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
You're on it.
I must say you have called meabout eight times today.
When you call me you say onething.
Then you know, anyway, I haveto go, I have to go, and then
you just name something likemake lunch.
I'm like you're aware youcalled me right but you know,
I'm just like so happy.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I just want to like speak to people all day long.
I've got to give out happinessand you are the very opposite
today.
We are yin and yang right here.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I know I'm really not very well today podcasters.
I really feel down in the dumps.
Not like a depression way.
I basically feel like I've beendrop-caked in the stomach.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Is it because we went out last night and you can't
handle one night out with methese days?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
No, because I have actually felt ill since last
Saturday.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
When I hosted the party.
So again, you just can't handlethe social life with Brad.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I just think you've got dodgy cooking Personally.
Anyway, right, what are wetalking today about, Brad?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Well, first of all, I actually made us a drink.
It's a brand new drink.
I've never even tried thisbefore in my life.
Yeah, I can see it.
Yeah, it's a rum.
Now, usually I'm not really arum person, but it's a passion
fruit rum and I love passionfruit and I saw it.
It was on offer today in Tesco.
So I was like, do you know what?
I'm grabbing this for thepodcast, and what if you mixed
it with apple juice?
No, it's passion fruit rum withlemonade with lemonade.
yeah, I know, but it is like ayellowy colour, okay the more
(03:02):
you say passion doesn't meanit's any more dark colour.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
This looks like a cup of coffee.
It's that dark.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Shall we try it.
I actually have never triedthis before.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's a new drink.
What's it in a mug?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I don't know.
Anyway, cheers, cheers.
Do you know what?
That doesn't even tastealcoholic.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
That is so sweet, so sweet.
It's like cow pole, it's likemedicine.
Give it to me actually, jokesaside, just for a second I'll be
shady cow pole.
Do you remember what it used totaste like when it was like
crunchy crunchy?
It may not have meant to becrunchy actually, maybe, just
like my parents never put thelid back on the bottle
correctly- crusty cow pole, it'slike crystallised with the
sugar.
Yeah, because the sugar was so,and cowpoll was delicious, so
(03:42):
good.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
It's like strawberry.
I don't know.
It's like a strawberry liqueur.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, I kind of want some cowpoll.
Is that bad?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Are you addicted to cowpoll?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I mean, I haven't had it since I was about, you know,
last month, but I no, seriously, I haven't had it in ages, but
I remember it being absolutelydelicious.
Yeah, you love a finger.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Not from a dead man, though.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
It's the only man you'll get Anyway.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I'm going to have another little sip whilst we
look over our notes to see whatwe're going to talk about,
because we've got a few thingson the agenda today.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Oh, my goodness, put your mouth around that drink and
stop talking.
I'm not having another sip ofthis witchly brew, oh nice.
Yeah, we've got loads of thingsto talk about today and we're
actually having quite a personalchat, I think, today.
I mean, we normally chat quitepersonally, but today I feel
like it's very personal.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Yeah, well, the thing is it's been a little while
since we've done podcasts, sowe've got loads to catch up on
this year, and the first thingthat I want to talk to you about
is your dating life, because Iknow that you're quite a serial
dater at times.
How's it all going?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Wow, straight in the deep end, I'm single, so thank
you so much for bringing that upfor everyone's attention.
I yeah, it's a difficult oneout there.
You know, I think dating haschanged so much since lockdown.
Really, yeah, I think peoplehave almost forgotten how to
talk to each other and I justreally struggled to connect.
However, I mean I say this Iwent on a date two nights ago
(05:00):
and it was like ideal, settingmatched with them on Tinder in
the morning chat, chat, chat,chat, chat.
Went on a date the same evening.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Great In there, no wasting time.
You might as well get to thepoint, because if you're going
to go on a date, there's nopoint chatting for like two,
three, four weeks.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
No, I totally agree with you and I cannot stand,
like this other guy that I'mtalking to.
Really hope he doesn't listento the podcast.
He is training to be abarrister nice good job, money
really cute like nice guychatting around.
I was like, so anyway, whenshould we go for a drink?
And he was like, oh well, I'mactually got my exams coming up,
so I'm going to be justrevising for the next six weeks,
(05:35):
right?
And I was like, why are you onthe dating app?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
yeah, why are you on it?
You want me to chat to you forsix weeks?
Yeah, and also it's probablynot going to be consistent chat
if he's studying, right?
No?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And how can you redevelop a relationship just
from texting?
So I was like okay, yeah, noworries Trying to chat, chat,
chat, chat chat.
And then I was like listen, Idon't really like chatting on
this app.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I actually don't have my notifications on for Tinder
and I was just like what, slow,slow.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Hard work.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yeah, it shouldn't be that slow or that much hard
work just to get a first date inthe diary.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, like, why can't I have your number?
What do you think I'm going todo with it?
Put it up in like phone boxes,like call for a good time.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Is that why I keep getting all these missed calls
on my phone?
Is that what you've?
Different time also, lol.
No one calls you.
Your phone died like four daysago.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
You hadn't even realized it ran out of battery.
But yeah.
So dating just a bit of atricky one, and this date that I
had, it was really lovely, theguy was so, so nice.
It just it didn't work out.
But at least we figured thatout in the first right day.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
So you didn't waste all that time yeah, you didn't
waste the weeks and weeks ofchat, chat, chat, to then have
the same outcome.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, because it does take a lot of brain power to
talk to multiple people at onceand don't be at home like
reading me like oh, benji, youshouldn't be like talking to
multiple people.
But sorry, if you're on adating app.
It's kind thing when I swipe,where I count down, I go I'm
(07:09):
gonna give myself like 10 swipesor like I'm gonna give myself
20 swipes and I will swipe thatmany times and then I'll put my
phone down, but I could thenmatch with like four people of
like 10.
He wishes um and then you've gotthose four people to talk to.
So straight away you're talkingto four people, do you know,
what I mean, and the next dayyou might match with some more
it's just yeah, it's a vicious,it's a vicious game, it's a
vicious game, it's a viciousgame.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I had that once where I matched with someone that
same morning chat.
Chat was great and we were bothfree that evening.
I was like let's just do it,let's just go for it, there's no
point hanging around.
And it didn't work out and thatwas great.
I'm so glad I didn't spendweeks of groundwork to find that
we just weren't a match onebecause on the texting hilarious
banter, 10 out of 10 top formjokes, jokes, another joke flips
(07:47):
, kicks, all of that right whenwe meet in person.
Church mouse, oh quiet, nobanter.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I feel like you've heard this a lot where they give
all the bants on the text.
But this is what I mean bycovid.
I think lots of people learn howto talk in texting and maybe
they've like because they'retalking to more people remotely,
they've like picked up likefunny one-liners and like
comebacks, right, yeah, stufflike that and in person they
just don't have the bands andlisten for me I I know we always
(08:14):
joke about how I have a typeI'm not going to go down that
route just a second.
But the one thing that for methat trumps any sort of looks
job, anything like that is yoursense of yes.
If you can make me laugh, Idon't really care about much
else.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
You're like jelly in the hands.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Literally.
I am quite difficult to makelaugh properly and I have been
on dates where I've literallybeen like side stitches Great
Pain yeah, is that why you'vegot a bad stomach today?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Because you went out with me last night.
That's why you were laughingnon-stop.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's what it was that was not what it was.
Yeah, so if you have a sense ofhumour, that is, I mean, if
you're at home and you have agreat sense of humour and you're
single send me some jokes.
No, it's not even just aboutjokes, it's just that sort of
like bounce back rapport and Ifind it so when you start a date
and you're chatting aboutsomething and there's a little
joke and then, like an hourlater into the date, they
reference that joke that youwould have like an hour ago.
(09:07):
Nice, do you?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
know what I mean by that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I'm like, oh, that's so sexy.
You've listened and you've like,reused this joke, but it's
still just as funny yeah, marryme, marry me bend over and marry
had somebody else I was datingand I thought it was going well
and then they turned around andI think this is such like a gut
punch.
(09:28):
Maybe that's why my stomach'ssore.
No, I feel like there's suchlike a kick in the teeth.
We were chatting.
He was then busy for the nexttwo weeks, which I said was fine
, and I was like but just letyou know, I'm then away, like
I've got like back-to-back gigsout of London in London, like
just very busy.
He was like oh, I see, I don'treally know what to do with that
.
I was like don't tell me thatyou're gonna end this just
(09:48):
because of that.
And he was like, yeah, I thinkI'm going to.
I'm just like really needy and,like I've said before living my
bright summer and I just think Ineed someone who's just there
for me when I want them.
I was like are you jokingending this because I work too
much?
And I invited him on the jobs.
I was like come with me, hop inthe car, don't worry about it,
hop on the train, don't worryabout it.
No, boring Snore, snore lags.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Okay, so now I've got a question for you.
This might be a bit deep, and Iknow you like it deep, so we're
going straight in there.
Do you think you've got Alittle bit?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I don't know, because I would argue that I've had
more relationships than you have.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, but I don't know if that's a good thing.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Well, yeah, they were committed relationships, didn't
she?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
But do you have like shorter ones?
Because you get so far into arelationship and you're like, oh
God, it's getting a bit tooheavy, a bit too deep.
I'm going to back out.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
I would definitely say that my last three or four
like serious relationships.
When I say serious, I mean likethey lasted more than like a
year let's say they all endedquite emotionally.
Yeah, they're quite, I think,damaging for me uh-huh and I and
I know that that took a longtime for me to try and sort of
process and get over the lastone being, as we went into
lockdown right, I actually endedit, regretted it, but I ended
(11:02):
like two weeks before lockdownhit and then just had like just
me by myself to try and processit poorly, thinking it was a bad
decision.
I do think that.
I do think breakups can reallydamage you as you go into your
next one now I'm not saying it'sa commitment thing.
I think if I find the rightperson, I'm more than happy to
commit myself to a relationshipand make sure I make time for
(11:23):
them etc and put them first.
But I do think every time I domeet someone I'm like, oh, this
is actually going quite well, Ido like self-sabotage myself and
I can get the ick so quickly,that's yeah, I noticed that with
you you're going a few dates'tdo this thing.
He had hairy nostrils and thatgave me the ick.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It just gave me the ick no, but I feel like this is
a regular thing with you, whichis why I asked do you have
commitment issues?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
because then, because you do, you're looking for the
icks to be like oh yeah, it'snot for have a relationship.
I'm a very romantic person.
I feel like I'm really tryingto sell myself to you.
Just to give you some reference, listeners, we're in the studio
but we like to turn all thelights off.
Apart from a couple of lamps,there's absolute mood lighting
it is, yeah, it's actually quitenice.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I've got my train of thought now so you said you're
quite romantic as a person ohyes, love making people feel
very special and like wanted andloved, I love doing that, I
love, I love giving.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And that's not.
That's not a top reference.
She is trying to be likeemotional just for a second,
yeah I, I, I want to be able togive all those things, so I
don't think my subconscious issabotaging me not to have that
okay but I also know that it'sonly been the last sort of six
months where I've really beenlike, no, I think I'm ready for
a relationship.
I will struggle with mytimetable, but I'm ready to
(12:47):
start looking at least.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Great, I love that for you Now I know why you made
me a strong drink.
Get it down.
You love Get it down you,because you said the other day
something about.
I do miss, when I was in my 20s, the attention that you were
getting.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Podcasts me and Brad right.
We are incredibly close asfriends.
Obviously we do the podcast,but we're very close and we do
share everything with each other.
All these things that he'sbringing up, I thought were like
one-to-one over a lovely bottleof rosé, pouring my heart out.
And he has been making bulletpoints in his notepad.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Great, I'll drag Benji about that on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Lovely, and I was like great Content, content,
content.
Yeah, listen, I think this issomething that I need to get a
different drink, because thisone's made me feel quite sick.
So let's take a very shortbreak and we'll come straight
back.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I see you've got yourself another drink.
Are you telling me you don'tlike the dead man's finger?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
It's not that I didn't like it, it's like it's
just it's too strong.
I would have liked one finger.
I feel like you've got like afist in here.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Okay, I'm sorry they didn't bring a measuring
cylinder to the studio with metoday.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
I just freepored.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Someone's never worked in a Well, you have to
all my mates, didn't I?
Oh my gosh, free pour that jobdid not last long.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No, I've changed my drink.
Thank you very much, I'm veryhappy.
So where were we on this whole?
Like, let's talk about Benji'smiserable dating life?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
I know, I thought we'd open up that can of worms
this week.
Yeah, so you said when we wasout the other day there was
something about being in.
It's not quite the same.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah.
So I don't want this to comeacross wrong because I really
it's very difficult, withoutknowing me, to believe what I'm
about to say, but I really don'tfeel like this is me coming at
a very like egotistical point ofview.
But I was young, blonde, blueeyes, went to drama school.
I didn't eat anything for threeyears and when I graduated I
was very slim, the twink oftwinks, the high cheekbones, the
(14:42):
jawline yeah, I was, yeah, theepitome of a twink.
Uh-huh.
And I remember going out andlike clubbing, which I didn't
actually do that often, but if Idid, I could walk into a bar
and I'd feel so confident that Icould flirt with anyone and
nobody would reject me, uh-huh,literally, like I mean,
obviously it happened now andthen, but really rarely.
I never felt it being a problem.
(15:03):
I had such confidence, but notin like a nasty way.
I always was like just friendlyabout it, just very flirty,
friendly, got free drinks, justhaving a good time and having a
flirt, right.
I now find it so jarring andthat was part of my dating life
and now it is such a differentstory walking into a bar, not
only because I'm now, you know,a bar, not only because I'm now,
(15:24):
you know, 26.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
No, not only because I'm now older.
Another 10 years onto that andthen we're about the right age.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, washing mouth out, not only because I'm now
older, but obviously again, likeI said, like lockdown has
happened, I do really feel likethere has been a shift in this
world.
I think because of socialdistancing, people just don't
necessarily like just walking upto them and chatting.
I know you're not, like you'rereally good at this I.
I know I've been out with youbefore on the pool, like years
ago, and you're very good atjust chatting to absolutely
(15:50):
anybody and having a laugh yeah,that's true yeah maybe that's
part of it as well.
I feel like I've got very high Idon't know what the word is.
It's not high expectations,it's just.
I feel like I now have to putso much different headspace into
just making that like jump orleap into starting a
conversation with somebody thatthen I don't know what to do.
(16:13):
When they start talking back,I'm like, oh god, now what do I
do?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
help, help quick go into a dance.
Do you know what?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
I mean it's um, yeah, it's a really weird one.
So I think anybody else is intheir sort of mid 30s who's
feeling this way, like it's.
I think it's normal.
So I keep telling myself it's areally normal thing to feel.
We were all young once and weall had a different level of
confidence, whether it's inwhatever it was, and it does
change as you get older.
Now a lot of people our age thestraight, sorry to bring them
(16:41):
up they are now married becausethey don't have to worry about
it.
Sure, I think the gay world westay single for longer.
Quite often we will be in arelationship, but maybe in an
open one.
Yeah, um, it's a very differentkettle of fish let's say and
it's quite a new thing.
So I think a lot of us are stilltrying to find our way with it
and how it works agreed.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, I totally hear you with the heterosexual
lifestyle.
It's more of a mapped out thing, isn't it?
Um, you know, you go touniversity, perhaps, or you
don't.
You you work and you meetsomeone and you have children,
you get married and you kind ofyour life is sort of like
destined for you, isn't it?
Yeah, in the gay world, there'sno set pathway, there's no
chapters, there's no.
Yeah, we just do our own thingand we're making it up as we go
(17:21):
along.
We don't have necessarily anygoals to hit in terms of
relationships like kids,marriage, et cetera, which also
are pressures for the heteroworld For sure.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I know a lot of my straight female friends really
feel the pressures of gettingolder if they haven't hit
marriage or children or acertain job or pay packet yeah.
You know, those are pressuresthat socially we, we put on.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Well, we don't, but is put upon people for sure.
One of my um straight friends,actually a girl, uh, she has
gone through this exact thing.
She's similar age to us, shereally wants kids and she hadn't
found the one to have kids withand was considering and even
looked at freezing her eggs andwas like, oh my goodness, I
don't know what I'm doing.
I thought by now I'd find theone.
I'd be married, we'll beplanning for our children and
I'm in my 30s and that hasn'thappened for me and you know I
(18:06):
felt really sorry for and I waslike god, I feel like I don't
have any of that pressure yeah,just do my own thing.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
No, we just have to worry about aging.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, right but obviously I do have gay friends
same age as us.
Well, I'm 26 plus 10 um Come onmath.
They've all said the same thing.
You're not the only person tohave said this.
To me, it's a different thingwhen you're kind of like the
fresh meat in town, right, andyou've got that twinkie
(18:34):
aesthetic and you're walking inand all the heads turning like
who is this newbie?
Someone like you has beenaround the block quite a few few
years Like oh, it's him again.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
But do you know what?
That is another really goodpoint.
I have been around the blockand I thought you were going to
make a joke about like bodycount etc.
Which obviously I'm not goingto go into right this second,
but I'm 525,600.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
You can't make that joke when I'm drinking.
I was choked.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'd love to watch you choke.
No, not talking about bodycount, but I do think, like,
again, I'm very romantic, etcetera, et cetera.
I've already said that.
And when you date someone onthe first date, I know in my
mind I'm either thinking thisguy's really cute, I'm going to
try and slip in.
If we're going to have anotherdate, I'll ask him if he wants
(19:20):
to go to the theatre or like outfor dinner, nice.
And then I'm like maybe I couldbuy them flowers.
No, I don't ever see that beingdone anymore.
It's that laughable thing in adate.
Or the other side of my brainis like take them home and shag
them.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Wow, literally one extreme to the other.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, but I think it's because of like the Grindr
world.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I don't know if that had a relationship.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I'm just double checking this is correct.
I've never been in a full onlong term committed relationship
where we slept together on thefirst date ha so I do have like
a rule now if I really like themand I have actually said that
to some people like I'm reallyenjoying chatting to you, I
really want to see you again, Ireally want to invite you back
to mine, but I don't think it'sa good idea, because I'd like to
see you again and I just wouldlike to leave it here, if that's
(20:02):
okay, and a lot of people areokay with it and some of them
think it's just a polite way ofbeing like I'm not interested.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But also I know that we'retalking about my experiences
with this, but I can't reallyask you yours, because I know
for you and I know we're notgoing to go into too much on the
podcast.
All the dating apps yes, you'vecome off all the other
facebooks gone because you, alittle bit like what I was just
(20:24):
saying, you've started datingsomeone and you're enjoying it
and you don't want any confusionfrom elsewhere and you just
want to focus on this one sortof few dates, correct?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
correct.
Yeah, it's going well.
And I was like you know, I justwant to put my all into this
and I have been in positions alittle bit younger where I felt
like I've kept my options open,even though I was kind of liking
someone.
That's going well.
We're still maybe dabbling inand out and I just think that's
not a good energy focus.
So I thought, yeah, I like thisguy, it's going well, I'm going
(20:53):
to delete all the apps and justfocus on this and just see
where this goes, put my energyinto this and see what happens.
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think it's a good move for you, because you're
really bad at multitasking.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Really bad yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah, really bad.
When we went on a date, weren'tyou talking to four Bens at the
same time?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Oh God, that's why I gave you the name Benji, because
I had to give them all aslightly different name so I
could remember which one waswhich.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
And hence the name, Benji.
It also calls me Fluffy, whichyou've never called me before.
Well, there's something Ididn't need to share.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Fluffy.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, I don't know, I think it's because when I was a
kid I woke up.
I have like really good hairyou do Like really thick, long,
luscious.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Why are you staring at me as you say those awful
words?
Like stabbing me in the heart.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I'm just watching the lamp light bounce off your
scalp.
Yeah, so when I wake up in themorning it would be like all
over the place, right, I thinkthat's where you call me Fluffy.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, that's where Benji was born.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Yeah, was you had a Ben, a Benjamin, a Benny and a
Benji.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, a Ben a Benny was one.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
And yeah, because I was like God, there's too many,
I have to like work out a namefor them all.
Well, your name in my phone isBrad, Don't Answer, Anyway.
Anyway, enough about uschatting about our miserable
well, my miserable dating lifeand your annoyingly going well
dating life.
Let's crack on with the podcastand talk about something a
little bit more cheery.
So podcast is this is too manydead man's fingers how many
(22:26):
fingers you had in you Two.
None.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
You said two.
I'll take your first answer.
Two, none.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Everyone loves a cheeky fingernail then.
So podcast is like I was saying.
We're now going to up theenergy and go to one of our new
favourite segments it's time forQueer Diary.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So this week's Queer Diary is as follows Hi, benji
and Brad, any kinks to recommendfor me and my boyfriend to try
the hotter the better.
Please Wink emoji Right,straight in there, straight in.
Any kinks to recommend?
Now, the thing is, I used tothink that I was fairly kinky as
(23:05):
a person until I met you, andyou are a whole different level,
so I feel very vanilla.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
You're very wool.
Soft scoop vanilla ice cream.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
So you're probably better to answer this one.
The only thing that I would addin is I bought a board game
many years ago for one of me andmy exes to play.
Is I bought?
A board game many years ago forone of me and my exes to play
and it's a bit like a Monopolygame.
You go around the board and youcollect like cards and tokens
and things and allows you to tryout various kinks.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
You put each other in prison.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
There is like role play and stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
So you actually probably quite like the game.
Now this is like a good boardgame to kind of like test the
water and lots of differentthings, and obviously if you
really like something you canthen go further with it.
But what was quite good is youdon't know what the card's going
to say.
You don't know who's going towin or who's going to like get
the next card to promote thenext um thing that you do
together.
So it's quite a good game toplay for two people, exploring
(24:00):
maybe that sort of world a bit.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Two or more.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Two or more yeah.
But actually the board game iscalled Monogamy.
It's actually a straight boardgame.
It's meant to be for a man andwoman, but obviously you can
like re-jingle the kinks to makeit work for two boys.
Who bought you that?
A friend of mine who used towork for Ann Summers and used to
get loads of free stuff all thetime, so of free stuff all the
time.
So I've got loads of and someof free things in my room and we
will end that conversationthere.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Um okay, so this is so.
What do they want?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
they want kinks or fetishes uh, well, that's such a
good question.
What is the difference betweena kink or a fetish?
They've asked for kinks, butyeah, I thought they're the same
no, they are quite different.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Um, I believe a kink is like it's like a sexual
behavior that it's like outsideof normal sexual practices.
So it could be like BDSM, yeah,or like cuckolding I don't know
what that is.
That is when, like, you're in acouple and and then you like if
there was like me and myboyfriend.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
And then my boyfriend has to watch me have sex with
somebody else.
Oh, that's like cuckolding,right?
I believe that's right.
Or like exhibitionism, etcetera.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Whereas fetish, fetish is things like bondage.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Okay.
So I mean they kind of blurinto the same sort of world, or
like feet I think.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh yeah, like foot fetish a fetish is more about
like body parts, whereas kink islike the action, I believe okay
, I think that's more more rightagain.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
It's like foot fetish .
Speaker 2 (25:25):
It's all about the feet, yeah yeah, yeah, and a
kink is like putt masks, sure Ibelieve.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
I mean there's definitely a crossover, and I
don't think it really matters.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
But what were they asking for Good ones to try?
Yeah, oh, my goodness, whydon't you start with this one
Instead of dragging me as likethe slut of the podcast, why
don't you do it?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Well, as I said, that board game is quite a good one
to test and actually, with otherpartners along the way.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I that you've played with multiple sexual partners.
Which ones have you done thatyou didn't ever consider before,
but you have enjoyed Role play.
Okay, and what sort of roleplays did?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
you do Massage, so I was like they were coming into
my massage parlor.
I was the masseuse and then Iwas like leading on that massage
.
I did it in a Swedish voice,hello.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
No, you didn't, I didn't, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
episode of friends, no, so that was quite a fun one
to do.
And then things like toystrying different toys out, yeah
it's all still very vanilla.
What's like the most wild thingon the game oh, I don't know,
it's been a little while since Iplayed it, but I think it is
all like slightly more vanillaedge and it's like a little
taster of lots of differentthings and then obviously, if
(26:35):
you like something, you cancarry on and you do things where
you have to roll the dice andit gives you an action like kiss
, lick, suck etc.
And it gives you a body part, soit might be like earlobe penis
why did you look in my eyes whenyou said that?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
because we're having a conversation that made me feel
really uncomfortable.
I feel like I need to take abreak again Do you want another
finger?
Speaker 1 (26:58):
No, I do.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Look into my eyes.
Okay, yeah, fair enough.
Yeah, do you know what?
Maybe that's a really good oneto start.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
I think this is for your newbie to like.
Want to try a bit of kink, butnot quite sure where to go.
That's like a good bit ofeverything.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yeah, and if you're going to do role play role play
that sort of like massage one Ican imagine it can't really.
It doesn't really tell youanything about the other person
that you maybe didn't want toknow.
Yeah, because I have beenrequested all sorts of role
plays, right, some of which I'vebeen like no, I don't feel
comfortable doing that.
Oh god, it's like what?
Yeah, I mean, there's been onesthat you would expect, like
teacher, student okay now thisone's really weird, right?
(27:33):
you know, like in the gay worlda lot of younger people might
refer to old people as, likedaddy.
Yeah right, but if they'resaying daddy, does that mean
that's their son?
Because I've had someone who wewere talking for a while like
we've met a few times, so I justwant to try this but they were
calling me daddy, which I didn'treally appreciate, because at
the time I think I was like 29,um, and then he was like you're
calling me daddy, but what do I?
What do you want?
To be called as Did?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
he say son.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
And then he said, son , and I'd never made that link,
and I was like, oh okay.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Yeah, I'm not sure about that.
Yeah, wasn't sure.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So I was like no, I'm just going to call you like
slum cut pig, I can't do that.
But just called them somethingelse, like boy or lad.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I don't know what it was, it sounds so A friend of
mine.
He used to role play with hispartner.
They used to role playstepbrothers.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Oh yeah, I'm all right with that.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Stepdad's out.
So you know what should we do?
Oh, we should take your pantsoff, what?
But you know that's so bad,like what if stepdad walks in?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Shut up and take your pants off.
Maybe I'm okay with that.
But then again, remember I had,I think I called twins.
Oh yes, I didn't realize I wastwins till afterwards, and then
I was really into it.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, but then I was too drunk and I ruined it,
ruined itself.
Oh, my goodness, yeah, and I doit to myself.
Um, what else could they?
Speaker 2 (28:48):
do well, you quite like outdoor sex, don't you?
I like risk yes yeah, which Iunderstand is going to put me in
a bit of a legal issue becauseit is illegal to be having sex
in public outdoors.
But I think part of the thrillthat I have is doing it in like
places that you might notconsider now I don't want to
make that like gross for otherpeople.
I don't want to.
I don't know.
I don't do in places whereother people will then be with,
(29:09):
like their families or like yeahI'm not.
I'm not.
I'm a bit more considerate thanthat.
However, yeah, like the idea ofpossibly getting caught.
I do quite like Sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
So that might be a good thing to try out.
If you want to, you know, testthe waters, mix it up in the
bedroom.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
And the best thing about like Public or outdoors Is
you can start off so Mild, somild.
Yeah, you can literally startoff with like Holding hands,
kissing, sitting on each other,fondling underclothes like it
doesn't have to be like full on,like penetrative on a park
bench sure have you ever goneout.
Oh, no, no question.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I think this is actually quite tame gone, let's
say, to a restaurant withfriends and you're kind of
getting with one of the guys andyou've both gone off to the
toilets together to have sex andthen come back to the
restaurant.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Not in a restaurant, but in like a pub club.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
yes, Many times, many times.
You've actually been there on afew of them.
Where's Benji gone?
Oh, he's in the toilet again.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
You were there and you and you and, annoyingly, one
of these guys that I was datingthat now said I'm too busy to
be a suitable bachelor.
He was into all that as well.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Great, perfect, great , perfect match for you.
Well, yeah, it was great.
Single tear rolling down thecheek.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I do think I don't really sell myself very well on
this podcast.
I feel like at the beginningSeason 1, Season 2 I was a bit
more like Well, you said I wasquite prudish.
You were a bit prudish A bitmore reserved, a bit more like
Teehee British, and now I'm justgiving it all.
We've opened you up.
Oh my, oh, my, oh, my Goodnessme, how many more innuendos do
(30:42):
you?
Speaker 1 (30:42):
have.
That's it.
I'm all done for the day.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
So just going back to the question, so fetishes and
kinks, yes.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
So we're saying maybe try like some games.
There's lots of different onesout there.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Games with toys as well.
Games with toys Anything fromfrom a little whip to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I had a feather tried on me once, not really into the
tickling thing.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I hate tickling it makes me panic, but I've tried
it.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I've done like paddle food food yes, oh, that game
includes food actually.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I've done like melted chocolate, squirty cream, all
the above same delicious, nice,not if they're diabetic, found
that out the bad way oh, yeah,not so good or lactose
intolerant yeah that reallywouldn't have worked out well,
yeah, yeah um, yes, and thenlike work your way up to maybe
things like outdoor, outdoor,yeah, I think, anything that
you've never tried before.
Do you know what?
(31:29):
The best thing to do is justtalk to your partner, yeah, and
be like listen when before wewere together.
If you watched like adultcontent, uh huh, what sort of
adult content did you like?
Speaker 1 (31:38):
watching.
Oh that's a good one.
Actually, watching porn with apartner can be quite hot there's
me being delicate adult content, there's you, yeah, porn well,
we all know what you're talkingabout yes, I know, but I was
just giving it slightly more.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
I've gone back to season one too, benji, adult
content.
I hope we've answered yourquestion.
If you do have any morequestions, or if you've been
listening to this and you haveany questions about things that
we've done or you've done thatreally worked, share them with
us, because we'd love to shareit with everybody else that
listens to the podcast.
And maybe do you know what,brad, I think maybe I should
write you like a bowl.
Oh, actually, this is a reallygood idea.
(32:13):
Oh, go on, why don't whoeverwrote this in the two of you get
ten little bits of paper andwrite down things that you want
to try but maybe you're tooembarrassed to bring it up and
fold them up and put them in abowl and then, when it comes to
like a steamy evening, the twoof you, wine's open flowing, you
might say, the lights are low,you're lying there on this
lovely shag rug.
(32:34):
You just dip your hand in thatbowl and you pick one out and,
whatever it is, you've got tocommit to each other, because
you've put in 10 and he's put in10.
So whatever comes out, you haveto commit to it and give it a
go.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I like that.
That's a great, great game.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
We're going to call it Benji's Ball of Wonder,
benji's Open, open, open, openbowl.
Do you know what podcast we'regoing to workshop the name?
But I think go away and give ita listen.
If you think that's a good idea, try it with your partner,
unless you're single like I am.
And if you're single andlooking to mingle, hit me up in
(33:07):
the DMs.
Filthy little plug right there.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
And, speaking of DMs, you can always slide into ours
with your queer diaries.
Whatever you want us to talkabout, whatever you want to be
brought up on the podcast,nothing is off limits in this
little space.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
That's true, but podcast society that is all we
have time for.
On this week's episode of myBig Gay Podcast, if you've
enjoyed it, please go to ourInstagram and our TikTok and
give us a follow.
We are starting to do these newvideos called Out in London Do
you get the pun?
Do you get the pun becausewe're gay?
We're out out in.
London.
So if there's any places thatyou go and hang out with your
mates or where you've found itreally easy to socialise with
(33:40):
people, please go to the videoson our Instagram and comment
below and we will go andexperience them ourselves and
make a little reel and share itwith other people who are
visiting London but also maybehave moved to.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
London and want to media handle for you once again,
in case you don't know, it isat big gay podcast but, like I
said, that's all we have timefor on this week's episode.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Until next time, see you next wednesday talking about
fetishes, though.
I did put something on my umtinder profile so I said about
my name at my jobs and then Isaid dog daddy, uh-huh anyway,
match with somebody went on aday and he was.
He turned up with a pup mask inhis bag because he thought I
meant that I was like this pupdaddy and he was into pup play.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Oh, my goodness.
And there's little Ned, youractual dog, at the doorway.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
You're like here's the dog and here's the dog.
Now, luckily, I do actuallyhave a pup mask and I am not.
I'm not into it, so it workedout well, but my goodness, it
was a.
You know, if you have a dog athome, just really think about it
.
How are you going to word thatin your body?
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.